WEBVTT 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:03.359 Well, good morning, awakening church. 00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:04.959 Great to be with you. 00:00:05.519 --> 00:00:09.439 You can go ahead and grab your seat. 00:00:09.759 --> 00:00:15.839 And thank you for all of you who did brave the parking and you made it your year. 00:00:16.079 --> 00:00:16.800 Way to go. 00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:25.039 Some of you parked, I know, all the way across the street at the offices, circled around, and there are still people circling, searching for spots. 00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:36.240 So actually, probably a pretty good time to bring up that we are in the process of negotiating and trying to get a long-term facility and building. 00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:38.640 Yes! So that is exciting. 00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:39.840 We love Del Mar. 00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:40.640 Love it here. 00:00:40.799 --> 00:00:42.880 We're always gonna support Del Mars. 00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:56.560 And uh we are excited about what God has for us as we can have a strategic uh training center to raise up this generation of world changers, a lighthouse for our community, have a 24-7 footprint. 00:00:56.640 --> 00:01:00.640 So would you be praying for that uh as we step into the season? 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:02.399 And parking is always a good reminder. 00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:05.439 Oh, it yeah, there's some different challenges we see here. 00:01:05.680 --> 00:01:06.000 Okay. 00:01:06.239 --> 00:01:17.599 Hey, we um are as a church, we every year we have a theme uh and we go, this is what we want to be about, a word of the year 2026. 00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:19.439 Our word of the year is pursue. 00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:20.560 Would you just say that with me? 00:01:20.719 --> 00:01:21.280 Pursue. 00:01:21.439 --> 00:01:22.239 Yes, great. 00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:28.799 And we asked simply this question: what does it look like to passionately pursue the heart of God? 00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:35.439 Like, what would it look like for you for an entire year to passionately pursue the heart of God personally? 00:01:35.599 --> 00:01:45.599 Maybe uh uh passionately pursue the heart of God in your dating or in your marriage or in your friending or in your work, uh, your school. 00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:52.640 And then as a church, we're wrestling with this like, what does it look like for a church to passionately pursue the heart of God? 00:01:52.799 --> 00:02:02.719 Like, I wonder what God might want to do through a community that says, we want to run after your heart together for an entire year. 00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:14.960 Uh and we launched the year with a series called Awakening Vision, that inviting God to awaken a fresh vision in our life, and kicked off this uh next series called Messy Spirituality. 00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:18.879 Like we were gonna pursue the heart of God, but it's kind of messy, isn't it? 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:22.800 And how does God work in the messiness of our lives? 00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:26.479 And we're doing a couple things this year uh that are a little different. 00:02:26.639 --> 00:02:44.159 One, we're having invite Sundays, and so you know, not just like um Easter and Christmas Eve, which are fantastic, but key Sundays where, you know, like I have these friends, coworkers, neighbors, uh, classmates, and uh like when is a good Sunday to bring them? 00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:51.599 I would love to invite them, but I want to make sure that it's it's an awesome Sunday, and Ryan, you're not like preaching on finances or something like that, right? 00:02:51.759 --> 00:02:54.400 Uh we did our very first really invite Sunday. 00:02:54.479 --> 00:02:56.319 It was kicking off messy spirituality. 00:02:56.400 --> 00:02:57.919 It was fantastic, by the way. 00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:02.719 We had uh 30 plus people respond to the gospel in our services. 00:03:02.960 --> 00:03:11.919 Yes, and just story after story of people who I heard like invited their friend or coworker, classmate, or even family members. 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:13.039 It was fantastic. 00:03:13.199 --> 00:03:20.800 And so, invite Sunday, we're kicking off a brand new series next Sunday, March 1st, called Knowing God. 00:03:21.199 --> 00:03:28.240 One of the most incredible realities of the on the planet is that we can know God personally. 00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:33.840 That God is not just knowable, but he wants to know you and be known. 00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:37.039 So, how do you actually really get to know God personally? 00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:38.719 That's what we're gonna be talking about. 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:41.840 Uh, and how do you grow in this relationship with God? 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:44.639 So join us next week, and you have these cards. 00:03:44.719 --> 00:03:45.599 Oh, this different card. 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:46.719 That's actually your card. 00:03:46.800 --> 00:03:49.199 Um uh invite cards. 00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:50.159 Who's your one? 00:03:50.319 --> 00:03:51.919 Take that card with you. 00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:55.680 Write down a person that you're gonna be praying for this week. 00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:15.680 Who is your one that you're inviting here, or maybe it's not uh not even to hear, maybe it's just out to coffee to hear their story next up, that you would just be um involved and engaged of like we're gonna pursue God together, which means pursuing those that God's heart is for the people around us. 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:16.319 All right? 00:04:16.639 --> 00:04:17.360 We good? 00:04:17.839 --> 00:04:22.720 All right, hey, we're concluding today our series, messy spirituality. 00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:28.000 Uh, and to do that, we we've talked about this that life is messy, right? 00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:31.439 Um following Jesus is messy. 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:35.279 And the world around us is really messy. 00:04:35.680 --> 00:04:39.360 Week one we had this confession of messy spirituality, is simply this. 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:40.639 I'm a mess. 00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:44.959 I can't unmess myself, only Jesus can. 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:49.759 That's the foundation of spirituality at its core. 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:51.120 I'm a mess. 00:04:52.079 --> 00:04:55.040 I can't unmess myself, only Jesus can. 00:04:55.199 --> 00:04:56.399 Would you say that with me? 00:04:56.800 --> 00:04:58.160 I'm a mess. 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:02.800 I can't unmess myself, only Jesus can. 00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:13.519 And as we look around, and you scroll TikTok or the news or just your personal experience, the world's a mess. 00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:21.040 And no amount of education or technology can unmess the world. 00:05:22.079 --> 00:05:23.519 Only Jesus can. 00:05:24.639 --> 00:05:26.079 Only Jesus can. 00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:35.199 And so as we close our series, Messy Spirituality, we want to talk about the messiness of the world, the brokenness around us. 00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:39.199 And what are we as followers of Jesus? 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:45.759 How are we to respond and be the hands and feet in a deeply messy, broken world? 00:05:45.920 --> 00:06:02.639 To do that, what we want to do is actually shine a light on one particular area of brokenness, messiness, that so hides in the shadows, but is happening all around us, that I just want to shine a light on it. 00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:05.040 Because that's what Jesus people do. 00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:12.399 We're the light of the world, so we shine a light on things that are evil to bring about justice and goodness and beauty. 00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:18.319 And today we want to shine a light on the area of human trafficking. 00:06:19.279 --> 00:06:28.000 Uh human trafficking, uh, nearly 28 million people worldwide are trapped in human trafficking. 00:06:28.319 --> 00:06:31.279 More than at any other point in human history. 00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:42.079 One out of every four victims is a child, and has become one of the largest criminal industries in the world. 00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:48.480 It's not just a global thing, it is a national and it is a state thing. 00:06:48.639 --> 00:06:53.439 California consistently reports more trafficking cases than any other state. 00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:59.199 And tragically, the Bay Area is identified as one of the largest trafficking regions in the state. 00:06:59.439 --> 00:07:05.920 Because where there's wealth, mobility, technology, and vulnerability, there's opportunity for exploitation. 00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:11.120 Uh, today, another thing that we're doing in our services is we call them testimony Sundays. 00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:12.639 We're having a testimony Sunday. 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:19.839 We want you to hear the testimony of the power of God's grace and work in each other's lives. 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:24.160 We get an honor of hearing the story of survivor leader Alicia Baker. 00:07:24.240 --> 00:07:26.160 Thank you so much for being with us. 00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:29.920 I'm going to share your intro so you know a little bit about Alicia. 00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:34.000 Alicia serves with an organization called Love Never Fails. 00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:35.759 She'll share more about that. 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:42.399 But first, Alicia is a faith-driven life coach, re-entry case manager, speaker, author, and survivor leader. 00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:52.079 After overcoming years of trauma, addiction, and human trafficking, Alicia encountered the life-changing grace of Jesus Christ, shifting her journey from survival to purpose. 00:07:52.240 --> 00:07:58.079 Today she walks alongside women and families through Christ-centered healing, trauma-informed care, and practical restoration. 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:05.199 Alicia is passionate about guiding others from brokenness to wholeness, reminding them that their past does not define them, God does. 00:08:05.439 --> 00:08:16.079 Through coaching, speaking, writing, and community outreach, Alicia brings a message of hope, healing, and freedom, pointing others toward lasting transformation and purpose in Christ. 00:08:16.959 --> 00:08:23.600 Because of the nature of her story, she'll be sharing her experiences relating to sex trafficking and trauma. 00:08:23.839 --> 00:08:33.519 Wants you to listen with both compassion and open hearts, but also wants you to know if at any point you need to step out or take a moment or simply sit quietly, pray. 00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:35.840 That's completely okay. 00:08:36.320 --> 00:08:39.039 Alicia, we are thrilled and honored to have you here. 00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:39.919 Thank you so much. 00:08:40.080 --> 00:08:48.799 Would you please give her a warmth? 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:51.679 Sheesh, I don't have to say anything else. 00:08:51.840 --> 00:08:53.120 You just said it all. 00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:55.440 Good morning, church family. 00:08:55.600 --> 00:09:00.080 My name is Alicia, and I want to ask you something before I say anything else. 00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:07.840 Have you ever walked into a room and wondered if the real you, the full you, would it still be welcomed if people actually knew? 00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:15.679 I spent most of my life answering that question with silence because I was afraid the answer was gonna be no. 00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:20.320 But I stand before you today, not as a victim of what happened to me. 00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:23.679 I stand here as a daughter of God who was rescued. 00:09:23.840 --> 00:09:25.600 I was saved by Jesus Christ. 00:09:27.200 --> 00:09:34.080 And I am living proof and a walking testimony that no story is too broken for God to rewrite. 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:48.799 My life has included things I spent years trying to outrun: maternal abandonment, childhood sexual abuse, addiction, sex trafficking, domestic violence, mental illness, grief too heavy to name. 00:09:49.679 --> 00:09:54.879 For many years I believed those things were my identity, but here is what God showed me. 00:09:55.200 --> 00:10:01.039 Trauma is not your identity, it is the battlefield where your identity was tested. 00:10:01.360 --> 00:10:06.639 Genesis 50, 20 says, What the enemy meant for harm, God meant for good. 00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:09.919 I want you to hear what that verse does not say. 00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:12.960 It does not say God called the harm good. 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:16.480 It says he called himself redeemer. 00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:18.240 There is a difference. 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:25.679 This is not just a story of trauma, this is a story of rescue, a story of surrender, and a story of redemption. 00:10:25.919 --> 00:10:29.679 And Isaiah 61 declares he gives beauty for ashes. 00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:32.240 Church, I was ashes. 00:10:32.480 --> 00:10:35.600 And he is still turning ashes into beauty. 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:43.679 Before I continue, as he already said, I do want to remind you that my testimony is does include heavy truths. 00:10:43.840 --> 00:10:50.559 Um I won't go into unnecessary detail, but I know these topics can be tender, and I want you to take care of yourself. 00:10:51.360 --> 00:10:52.240 Breathe. 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:56.080 If it feels overwhelming, step out if you need to. 00:10:56.240 --> 00:10:58.000 I want you to take care of your heart. 00:10:58.240 --> 00:10:59.919 But please hear me clearly. 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:03.519 There is hope in the story, so stay with me. 00:11:04.960 --> 00:11:07.200 My story begins at two years old. 00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:09.600 I was left at a babysitter's house. 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:13.360 That house became the place of my first molestation. 00:11:13.679 --> 00:11:16.799 From ages two to ten, the abuse continued. 00:11:17.039 --> 00:11:22.960 Family members, people who were supposed to protect me, people I was supposed to trust. 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:26.639 Repeated trauma does more than hurt a child's body. 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:34.399 Developmental neuroscience shows us that early chronic trauma literally rewires the brain's architecture. 00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:37.600 It recalibrates what feels normal. 00:11:37.759 --> 00:11:41.279 It distorts trust at its deepest level. 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:44.559 It confuses love with exploitation. 00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:48.080 I learned early that love meant exploitation. 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:56.080 By age three, I was acting out what was done to me, not because I was evil, but because trauma distorts innocence. 00:11:56.399 --> 00:11:58.159 Hurt people, hurt people. 00:11:58.639 --> 00:12:02.080 That is not an excuse, that is a diagnosis. 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:06.879 Someone in this room needs to hear what I wish someone had said to me. 00:12:07.120 --> 00:12:10.799 The shame that was handed to you does not belong to you. 00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:24.960 Shame is a spiritual weapon, it does not stay on the surface, it attaches to identity, it rewrites your internal narrative, and it whispers things that sound like truth but are actually lies. 00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:27.519 It whispers, you are dirty. 00:12:27.919 --> 00:12:33.039 It whispers, you are unwanted, it whispers you are disposable. 00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:36.879 But Ephesians 1:4 speaks a different word. 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:44.559 Church. 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:48.559 That means before the abuse, he chose you, he chose me. 00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:52.080 Before the addiction, he chose you, he chose me. 00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:55.519 Before the shame, he chose you, he chose me. 00:12:56.240 --> 00:13:02.399 At eight years old, my adopted mother passed suddenly, and I carried guilt for 25 years. 00:13:02.639 --> 00:13:05.279 If only I had told her that I loved her. 00:13:05.679 --> 00:13:13.759 That thought followed me everywhere because grief that is not processed turns into a story we tell ourselves about who we are. 00:13:13.919 --> 00:13:20.480 And the story I told myself was this I do not deserve a mother because they all kept leaving. 00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:30.639 My father married five times, there was chaos, there was enmeshment, there were secrets, and through all of it, I was raised in church. 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:38.799 I knew the songs, I knew the scriptures, I sat in the pew, but I believed that God was punishing me. 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:41.120 I want to ask you something. 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:44.879 Have you ever been in a church building and felt completely alone? 00:13:45.360 --> 00:13:51.919 Have you ever sung worship with a crowd and felt like the words only applied to everyone else in the room but you? 00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:53.759 That was me. 00:13:54.240 --> 00:14:01.519 Trauma was telling me lies, and I did not yet know the voice of the one who had already spoken the truth. 00:14:04.559 --> 00:14:07.200 By 12, I was desperate for validation. 00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:10.879 Male attention became my drug before drugs ever did. 00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:15.919 And I want the church to understand something we don't say out loud often enough. 00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:19.120 Addiction does not start with substances. 00:14:19.360 --> 00:14:22.559 It starts with pain, trying to find relief. 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:31.759 I drank in middle school, snuck out, chased the adrenaline, chased affirmation, chased anything that made me feel less invisible. 00:14:33.279 --> 00:14:41.039 By 18, the substances had names meth, cocaine, heroin, pretty much whatever I could get my hands on. 00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:46.320 And I was running state to state, city to city, always moving. 00:14:46.559 --> 00:14:50.240 Because if you stop moving, the pain will catch up to you. 00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:52.639 Survival mode became my normal. 00:14:52.799 --> 00:14:57.600 And eventually, survival turned into something I couldn't name for a long time. 00:14:57.919 --> 00:15:04.960 Las Vegas, New Orleans, strip clubs, hotels, backrooms, it's called trafficking. 00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:14.399 Bondage felt familiar because when you have been exploited since the age of two, exploitation starts to feel like a relationship. 00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:17.360 That is the cruelty of trafficking. 00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:22.080 It is not just physical captivity, it is identity captivity. 00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:26.879 It tells you that this is all you are and this is all you will ever be. 00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:32.000 John 10 10 says the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. 00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:35.600 I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:41.840 The enemy tried to steal my innocence, kill my purpose, destroy my identity. 00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:45.039 But the rest of that verse does not belong to the enemy. 00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:49.679 I did not know abundant life yet, but heaven already knew my name. 00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:54.080 In 2012, I met my best friend was murdered. 00:15:54.320 --> 00:16:01.600 I identified her body, and something inside of me broke in a way nothing had broken me before. 00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:04.399 Because this was not abstract pain. 00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:08.399 This was not something that happened in the dark that no one could see. 00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:11.360 This was my person gone. 00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:14.559 And I stood there thinking this could be me. 00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:23.600 In 2013, I was kidnapped and held hostage for three days, dope sick, terrified, and completely helpless. 00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:30.879 And in that darkness, in the back of a vehicle with nothing, I whispered the only prayer I had left. 00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:33.519 God, please don't let me die like this. 00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:39.840 Psalms 3418 says, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:50.080 He met me in the back of that truck, not at an altar, not after a worship set, not when I had cleaned myself up at rock bottom. 00:16:50.399 --> 00:16:51.679 That is mercy. 00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:55.120 But I have to be honest with you about something. 00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:57.200 God rescued me more than once. 00:16:57.360 --> 00:16:58.960 He rescued me from overdose. 00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:00.639 He rescued me from violence. 00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:03.840 He rescued me from death more times than I can count. 00:17:03.919 --> 00:17:05.519 And I kept going back. 00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:08.240 Because here is what nobody talks about. 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:13.279 Rescue changes your location, surrender changes your identity. 00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:16.079 Rescue pulls you out of danger. 00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:18.799 Surrender pulls the danger out of you. 00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:23.200 Rescue says, I will save you. 00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:26.720 Surrender says, I will change. 00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:31.359 The hardest prayer I've ever prayed was not God get me out. 00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:33.440 It was God change me. 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:42.000 Because I had prayed, get me out, a hundred times, and he had answered, but I had never fully prayed, God change me. 00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:45.200 Because change requires releasing control. 00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:53.440 And for a woman who had spent 30 years trying to survive by controlling what she could, that prayer was terrifying. 00:17:53.759 --> 00:18:06.640 Romans 12, 2 says, do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:09.920 Transformation is not modification. 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:13.599 God is not in the business of touching up old patterns. 00:18:13.920 --> 00:18:16.160 He is in the business of renewal. 00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:23.279 I tried sobriety, I relapsed, I tried again, then came my lowest moment. 00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:27.839 One hour before my son was born, his heartbeat stopped. 00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:31.359 There are no words in any language for that kind of grief. 00:18:31.599 --> 00:18:35.279 This was my second stillborn and my fourth pregnancy loss. 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:38.240 And here is what nobody talks about in church. 00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:42.319 Grief is not a lack of faith. 00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:45.279 Grief is the proof that love was real. 00:18:45.920 --> 00:18:51.279 Jesus wept at Lazarus' tomb and he already knew he was about to raise him. 00:18:52.160 --> 00:18:56.799 The grief was not a malfunction, it was the evidence of love. 00:18:57.200 --> 00:19:01.759 But grief does something dangerous when it is not given a safe container. 00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:05.759 It turns into shame, and shame medicates. 00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:52.480 When a human being has never experienced consistent safety, the nervous system is perpetually on alert. 00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:55.200 Fight, flight, freeze. 00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:57.359 Those are not character flaws. 00:19:57.519 --> 00:20:01.680 That is a biology protecting what was never protected. 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:13.119 But when safety is introduced, when the environment finally matches the promise of God, the truth surfaces, walls come down, and healing truly begins. 00:20:13.759 --> 00:20:16.319 I wrote my full testimony timeline. 00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:19.359 I faced what I had spent years numbing. 00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:22.720 I walked into celebrate recovery week after week. 00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:26.880 Honesty, scripture, steps, community. 00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:38.240 2 Corinthians 1.4 says, He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 00:20:39.039 --> 00:20:42.160 That verse changed how I understood my story. 00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:49.920 It is not just that God comforts the wounded, it is that God intends to deploy the wounded to comfort others. 00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:54.079 He wastes nothing and he recycles everything. 00:20:54.400 --> 00:20:59.759 Your testimony is not just your story, it is someone else's survival guide. 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:03.440 Step four of Celebrate Recovery broke shame off of me. 00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:07.599 Step eight helped me restore what was broken in relationships. 00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:11.519 I apologized to my brother for harm I caused in childhood. 00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:15.359 I made amends with my father right before he passed away. 00:21:16.400 --> 00:21:23.200 I lost both of my parents in June of 2024, month before I graduated the Love Never Fells program. 00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:28.799 My mom, who my stepmom, who had been my mother since I was 16, passed from cancer. 00:21:29.119 --> 00:21:34.480 Six months later, my dad, who raised me all my life, passed as well from cancer. 00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:40.559 And by the grace of God, I have not picked up that is beauty for ashes. 00:21:46.319 --> 00:21:48.000 Let me read it slowly. 00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:59.279 To give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called oaks of righteousness. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:03.440 Planting of the Lord that he might be glorified. 00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:09.440 Ashes represent mourning, but ashes also represent something that burned. 00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:12.880 And if something burned, it once had life. 00:22:13.519 --> 00:22:19.279 You do not get ashes without fire, and you do not have a testimony without a trial. 00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:21.359 But watch what God does. 00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:25.359 He does not just remove the ashes, he exchanges them. 00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:29.039 He does not offer you a patched-up version of what you lost. 00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:31.680 He offers beauty in its place. 00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:37.759 And he calls you oaks of righteousness, not saplings, not survivors. 00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:41.839 Oaks strong enough for other people to take shelter under. 00:22:42.319 --> 00:22:46.480 Ezekiel 37 says, God can breathe into dry bones. 00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:51.839 If he can breathe into what is already dead, he can breathe into what burned. 00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:56.640 Today I serve as a re-entry case manager. 00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:58.799 I help trafficking survivors. 00:22:58.880 --> 00:23:02.000 I also am a survivor leader at Love Never Fells Women's House. 00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:06.480 I facilitate celibate recovery at the church that I work at here in San Jose. 00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:08.240 I mentor women. 00:23:08.400 --> 00:23:13.759 I just published a book that will be for sale tomorrow called Unsilenced. 00:23:14.319 --> 00:23:16.960 I completed life coaching certification. 00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:20.720 I stand clean and sober two years and eight months. 00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:37.920 Revelations 12, 11 says, they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. 00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:44.880 Your testimony is a weapon, not against people, but against the principalities that tried to silence you. 00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:49.279 I was told I was disposable, now I know I'm chosen. 00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:53.279 I believed I was dirty, now I know I'm cleansed. 00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:57.200 I believed I was abandoned, now I know I'm adopted. 00:23:57.440 --> 00:24:01.839 I believed I was broken beyond repair, now I know I'm redeemed. 00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:05.279 God did not improve me, he recreated me. 00:24:05.759 --> 00:24:11.279 2 Corinthians 5.17, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. 00:24:11.519 --> 00:24:13.119 The old has passed away. 00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:15.440 Behold, the new has come. 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:18.319 I need you to hear me before I close. 00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:34.480 If God can reach into trafficking, into addiction, into abuse, into grief, into mental illness, into 25 years of shame, and still pull out purpose, then no one in this room is too far gone. 00:24:35.039 --> 00:24:40.079 You may feel like ashes, but ashes in God's hands are raw material. 00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:47.680 He is not overwhelmed by your story, he is not shocked by your secrets, he is not intimidated by your trauma. 00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:50.559 He is a father who runs towards his children. 00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:55.200 Luke 15, the father in the parable does not wait at the door. 00:24:55.440 --> 00:24:58.400 He runs while the son is still a great way off. 00:24:58.559 --> 00:25:01.680 He runs and he is running towards you right now. 00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:07.839 I'm gonna go ahead and close in prayer and then I'll talk about love never fails. 00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:25.440 Father, we release control, we release fear, we release pride, we release shame, we release secrets we have held for decades, we release addiction, we release the trauma labels we have let define us. 00:25:25.759 --> 00:25:29.359 We give you the pieces, we give you the ashes. 00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:38.400 We thank you that you are not intimidated by broken stories, you are not shocked by secrets, and you are not overwhelmed by grief. 00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:40.799 You are not afraid of addiction. 00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:43.359 You are a father who runs. 00:25:43.680 --> 00:26:01.200 Draw near to the brokenhearted in this room right now, interrupt cycles that have run in our families for generations, break chains, restore identity, silence shame, and remind every person leaving this place today that the cross already covered it. 00:26:01.359 --> 00:26:02.400 In Jesus' name. 00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:03.200 Amen. 00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:07.119 So let me tell you about this awesome program. 00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:14.160 So Love Never Fails is uh they're an anti-trafficking organization. 00:26:14.559 --> 00:26:17.599 Um they uh have all kinds of stuff going on. 00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:37.759 There's outreach, there's um IT biz, there's um there's the women's house, they have men's house, they have a um uh uh re-entry house, um, we have uh uh an engagement center where we help um and serve the the homeless and the community. 00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:39.440 Um we we do so much. 00:26:39.519 --> 00:26:50.559 We have an educational department that comes and teaches in schools, things like that, that teaches what the signs are and what to watch out for with the internet. 00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:51.920 It's crazy. 00:26:52.079 --> 00:27:02.160 There's so much that in a slip of a moment you could answer one DM and have and be end up trapped in something crazy. 00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:03.279 You never know. 00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:09.279 And so they they have educational um pieces that that will come out and teach that to the schools. 00:27:09.519 --> 00:27:15.119 The IT Biz um program is uh I a graduate of the IT Biz program. 00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:22.000 Um it's 12 weeks, it's tech, so you can pretty much get a certification in whatever you want with tech. 00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:38.319 Um the first 12 weeks, you'll get some cybersecurity, you get IT tech support and customer service, you get a little bit of project management, a little bit of entrepreneurship, and then the following 12 to 15 weeks, you get to choose what pathway you want to go to. 00:27:38.400 --> 00:27:50.799 So if you want to go cybersecurity, if you want to go tech sales, if you want to go um, well, I chose entrepreneurship and I actually created a business sort of like where I got a job afterwards. 00:27:51.039 --> 00:27:55.440 Um I the job that I have now, I'm I'm salary. 00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:59.119 And so I don't have to worry about finances. 00:27:59.519 --> 00:28:06.799 I'm I'm blessed, so blessed that I don't have to ever think about going back to the life that broke me. 00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:09.039 And um, I'm just so thankful. 00:28:09.119 --> 00:28:11.440 Um we do outreach, we do street outreach. 00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:23.279 I join Love Never Fells all the time, go out on the blade where women are still being trafficked, pray with them, offer them a bracelet with our number on the inside, and and they just love us. 00:28:23.440 --> 00:28:24.960 They love it when we come out there. 00:28:25.119 --> 00:28:32.880 We hand them a bag of chips, and that bag of chips is not just a bag of chips, and that's from somebody who's been handed a bag of chips while out there. 00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:35.359 And um, so it's just very important. 00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:38.559 So y'all can join link arms with us. 00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:43.039 There's a table outside where you can sign up to um join the church. 00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:44.799 The church is gonna help give back. 00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:48.960 We have um walk-a-thons, we have a gala coming up on April 11th. 00:28:49.119 --> 00:28:53.119 We always have something going on, it's always always amazing. 00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:55.519 And you can also donate if you want to help. 00:28:55.759 --> 00:28:56.880 So there we go. 00:28:57.039 --> 00:28:58.480 That's love never fails. 00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:02.559 Thank you. 00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:12.559 Thank you so much. 00:29:13.359 --> 00:29:24.960 Thank you for sharing your story and speaking uh the rescuing hope of Jesus over us. 00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:32.000 I think as we take it in, the question is, what do we do with what we just heard? 00:29:32.160 --> 00:29:33.119 How do we hold that? 00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:39.359 And for some quite frankly, the response is just really deeply personal. 00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:52.799 You walked in feeling like damaged goods, like um your past or your present, and this moment defines you, and nothing could redeem you, and that is a lie from the pit of hell. 00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:59.519 So don't suffer silently anymore. 00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:02.240 Bring it to Jesus. 00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:13.279 And we'd love to walk alongside you, and there's great, great people who have experienced his healing, redeeming work like Alicia that want to walk with you. 00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:32.000 The second thing is really simply the idea for us as followers of Jesus, who we're called to be in a deeply messy, broken world. 00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:35.519 We're doing something pretty old school. 00:30:35.599 --> 00:30:38.240 Um, we have a Bible memory verse. 00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:43.039 Every week we have a Bible memory verse, and the verse this week is Micah 6.8. 00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:49.599 Uh it's one of those core ones about who we are to be. 00:30:49.680 --> 00:31:01.920 And our hope is that you would, you know, we post it on social, on Instagram, and that you'll put it as a screensaver, and that you just first thing in the morning is God's word, last thing at night, let him have the first and last word. 00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:09.440 Micah 6.8 says this He has shown you, O mortal, what is good and what does the Lord require of you. 00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:16.480 But to act justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God. 00:31:17.359 --> 00:31:23.599 Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. 00:31:24.319 --> 00:31:45.200 But Jesus, when he walked on the planet, he gave special care and attention to the mistreated, the marginalized, the oppressed, the broken, the sick, the diseased, the ostracized. 00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:59.839 I encourage you, if you aren't in a reading plan right now, then read through the gospels and just pay attention to every time Jesus either speaks to this or acts towards this. 00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:02.400 And then he says, follow me. 00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:08.799 And what this means is that Jesus people are justice people. 00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:13.359 That's not a political thing, that's a biblical thing. 00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:20.640 Justice, the Hebrew word mishpap, uh, carries the sense of true religion. 00:32:21.039 --> 00:32:35.279 It's the proper personal response to God that manifests itself in social concern, equity, and the well-being of all God's creation, especially the poor, the powerless, and the voiceless. 00:32:35.839 --> 00:32:40.079 This is woven throughout the entire scriptures. 00:32:40.400 --> 00:32:41.920 Old Testament, New Testament. 00:32:42.079 --> 00:32:56.880 Isaiah says it this way Wash and make yourselves clean, take your evil deeds out of my sight, stop doing wrong, learn to do right, seek justice, defend the oppressed, take up the cause of the fathers, plead the case of the widow. 00:32:57.119 --> 00:33:00.000 James, the brother of Jesus, would say it this way. 00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:06.640 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion's worthless. 00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:18.480 Religion that God or Father accepts is pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world. 00:33:18.640 --> 00:33:19.759 The Proverbs. 00:33:20.079 --> 00:33:31.279 Talk about the righteous, those that are walking with God, care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern. 00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:43.599 That idea of righteous, uh, Old Testament scholar Bruce Waltke says it this way: he says, the righteous or the Sadiq are willing to disadvantage themselves to advantage the community. 00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:54.640 The righteous are willing to disadvantage themselves to advantage the community, whereas the wicked are willing to disadvantage the community to advantage themselves. 00:33:57.200 --> 00:34:03.519 The calling of a Jesus follower, the first step is just recognizing we're all a mess. 00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:06.960 I can't unmess ourselves, only Jesus can. 00:34:08.079 --> 00:34:17.760 And then we get to be a part of meeting people in their mess and stepping into the messiness of the brokenness of our world. 00:34:18.320 --> 00:34:20.000 I loved how you said it, Alicia. 00:34:20.400 --> 00:34:21.599 Hurt people, hurt people. 00:34:21.760 --> 00:34:23.760 We've heard this and it's a diagnosis. 00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:25.440 It's so powerful. 00:34:25.519 --> 00:34:27.199 And the same thing is true. 00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:30.239 Rescued people, rescue people. 00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:35.599 And this is what you're doing with your life now in such a beautiful way. 00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:37.280 Thank you for that. 00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:49.760 That when you recognize the rescuing work that Jesus has done, you can't help but go, I want to help anybody else the way Jesus has entered in my life. 00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:52.880 I want to share him and his love with them. 00:34:53.039 --> 00:34:57.440 Colossians 1, 13, 14 says, For he rescued us. 00:34:58.079 --> 00:35:04.159 For he rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son. 00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:05.360 He loves. 00:35:06.639 --> 00:35:08.320 And so what do we do? 00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:11.440 The needs are overwhelming. 00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:14.719 We don't know where to begin. 00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:21.519 There's a line from a pastor Andy Stanley that's always stuck with me. 00:35:21.920 --> 00:35:30.000 And it's just been such a helpful thing for me, is just this line do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. 00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:35.920 I think so often we hear needs, we hear about things, and we our heart, it's not that we have a care issue. 00:35:36.079 --> 00:35:37.119 We care a lot. 00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:39.119 We just don't know where to start. 00:35:40.239 --> 00:35:47.840 Or the the problems, the messiness, the brokenness of the world feels so overwhelming and too big. 00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:50.159 I can't do anything. 00:35:51.840 --> 00:35:57.840 Yeah, you can't do everything for everyone, but you can do something for someone. 00:35:58.960 --> 00:36:07.199 For us, for us, justice just begins with this moment of I'm gonna do for one what I wish I could do for everyone. 00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:13.679 It may look like having a conversation afterwards with Love Never Fails, the table. 00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:15.920 There's a list of resources on the back. 00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:29.519 Uh, both Love Never Fails, Foster to City, our food pantry, ways that we step in and practically bring the love and hope of Jesus to a hurting and broken world. 00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:31.679 But I invite you. 00:36:33.360 --> 00:36:35.119 What is your next step? 00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:39.199 Would you lean in? 00:36:40.480 --> 00:36:43.440 Would you allow Jesus? 00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:49.360 Like, how do you want to use me to bring healing and wholeness to this world? 00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:55.599 Uh as we close, what I really want us to do is we're gonna close with communion. 00:36:57.119 --> 00:37:02.960 It's just a reminder of Jesus' rescuing work for us. 00:37:04.239 --> 00:37:06.559 His body broken for us. 00:37:07.280 --> 00:37:18.000 A Savior that moved towards us, stepped into this messy world, and took on all of our shame, our pain, our sin. 00:37:18.239 --> 00:37:28.239 His blood poured out for us for the forgiveness of sins so that we stand completely forgiven, fully loved, adopted daughter, son. 00:37:30.719 --> 00:37:32.960 And just invite you, just a simple prayer. 00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:44.480 Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit, would you just show me what's the next thing you're wanting me to do? 00:37:44.559 --> 00:37:45.840 What's that next step? 00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:51.119 Maybe it's you've been struggling silently and you need to share it with someone. 00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:58.960 Maybe it's that idea of surrender Alicia talked about, like you've never really surrendered. 00:38:00.159 --> 00:38:06.320 God, I surrender my hope, my future, this pain, my grief, my trauma to you. 00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:22.079 Maybe it's taking a step of justice that could feel a little scary or intimidating, but today I'm gonna step in the same path with my Savior. 00:38:23.360 --> 00:38:25.360 Jesus, I pray for my friends. 00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:37.760 Thank you that you meet us. 00:38:38.960 --> 00:38:44.480 Thank you that you are the God that does bring beauty from ashes. 00:38:46.639 --> 00:38:49.119 You redeem what's been wrecked. 00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:53.840 You bring life from death. 00:38:57.039 --> 00:39:02.400 I ask in this moment that you would breathe an awakening. 00:39:03.360 --> 00:39:14.880 An awakening of our hearts, a quickening of our spirits to your activity, to your work, to your what you say to be true of us, that we might live in it. 00:39:16.880 --> 00:39:21.360 And be your hands and feet to a hurting and broken world. 00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:22.880 In Jesus' name.