WEBVTT 00:00:01.600 --> 00:00:02.560 Well, good evening. 00:00:02.720 --> 00:00:04.799 Welcome again to Christ the Redeemer. 00:00:04.879 --> 00:00:06.000 Uh my name is Sam Rapp. 00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:07.599 I serve here as a student pastor. 00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:18.640 Uh, it's a joy to be in this room, particularly, because typically on Sunday nights, there's about 80 to 100 middle schoolers and high schoolers with a lot of BO and doing a lot of middle school and high school things. 00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:22.399 So it's wonderful to be here with grown-ups and students as well. 00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:25.920 Uh well, I'd love to pray uh before we dig into God's word. 00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:34.719 Would you pray with me, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Lord, you are a God not far off upon the mountaintop. 00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:38.000 But Lord, you are a God who entered into dust. 00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:44.960 So, Father, tonight, I pray that as we dig into your word together, you would speak. 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:55.200 Lord, we all come into this room with a weak load of burden, maybe anxiety, loneliness, depression, shame. 00:00:56.000 --> 00:01:00.960 And Lord, I'm just so grateful that Jesus entered into our story. 00:01:01.280 --> 00:01:03.600 He knows what it's like to be us. 00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:05.439 He knows the discomfort. 00:01:05.599 --> 00:01:08.079 He knows that it's hard and scary to be a human. 00:01:08.239 --> 00:01:14.400 And so, Lord, I pray tonight that you would anoint this room, that you would let your spirit fall. 00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:19.359 And I pray that, Lord, we would receive from your word what you have for us. 00:01:19.680 --> 00:01:20.959 Pray this in Jesus' name. 00:01:21.200 --> 00:01:21.840 Amen. 00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:25.599 Well, when I was a little kid, I had a lot of stomach issues. 00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:27.280 I was also a pretty anxious kid. 00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:36.879 My mom used to tell me that I was a very deep thinker, that I was an old soul, even from a really young age, which which sounds really cool, like on the surface, but it just means I'm probably pretty anxious generally. 00:01:37.040 --> 00:01:40.560 Uh, but uh my anxiety definitely made my stomach worse. 00:01:40.719 --> 00:01:49.280 Of course, our brains and stomachs are very connected, but I came to find that this wasn't just like the normal nervous stomach butterflies that we all deal with. 00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:51.439 I knew that there was something deeper going on. 00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:58.079 Uh there were a few times growing up where I would I would eat what I felt like was a normal amount of food, and then a couple hours later I would get sick. 00:01:58.159 --> 00:02:02.319 Uh, and then the running joke in my family was, oh, there goes Sam overeating again. 00:02:02.400 --> 00:02:08.960 Uh and I was like, guys, I think I'm eating a very reasonable amount of food here, but apparently uh my family didn't think that. 00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:20.240 But in their defense, one of those times it was absolutely true that I ate too much because eating about 20 or so creamed menth brownies on Christmas is never a good recipe uh for your stomach. 00:02:20.479 --> 00:02:26.000 Now, most of the time, again, I was eating a completely normal amount of food or so, I thought, but I'd still get sick. 00:02:26.080 --> 00:02:30.960 And so I knew even as a kid, like at age 10, 11, 12, that something was a little bit off. 00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:36.159 Things got really bad at the end of my sophomore year and into that summer of 2014. 00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:40.560 Uh, I lost about 35 pounds, and I wasn't like a super fluffy guy to begin with. 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:42.400 I was still pretty skinny lean. 00:02:42.639 --> 00:02:45.759 Sam, here's actually a picture of my dad and I from that summer. 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:52.000 So, in in that picture, I look fine, but I weighed about 125 pounds standing at six feet tall. 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:55.360 So, not the BMI that you uh you know aim for. 00:02:55.439 --> 00:03:01.599 Uh, but I was eating about 600 to 800 calories a day at that point, and that was me like forcing myself to eat. 00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:02.800 There was just something going on. 00:03:02.879 --> 00:03:03.919 I had no appetite. 00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:08.800 So, my mom and I, of course, spent hours in the doctor's office and the doctor's chair. 00:03:08.960 --> 00:03:18.800 I went through pretty much every test you can imagine, and a few things you probably don't want to imagine, like stool samples and the horrifying process of getting stool samples. 00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:22.240 Um, that is something we don't talk about enough. 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:26.080 But for months, nobody could figure out what was wrong. 00:03:26.240 --> 00:03:29.360 Every doctor, we went through doctors, I mean, stool samples, colon. 00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:31.280 I had a colonoscopy at 17. 00:03:31.439 --> 00:03:33.039 You take that to the bank. 00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:34.879 Blood tests, all of it. 00:03:35.199 --> 00:03:36.159 They were essentially guessing. 00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:38.879 They were like, maybe it's acid reflux, Sam, maybe you have a parasite. 00:03:39.039 --> 00:03:40.319 I was like, great, go in peace. 00:03:40.400 --> 00:03:45.199 Uh but then finally, I saw one doctor who said to me, You have abdominal migraines. 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:46.800 And I was like, You went to med school. 00:03:46.960 --> 00:03:49.039 You're telling me my stomach gets headaches. 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:52.479 And I thought he was joking, but it turns out he was right. 00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:55.919 Uh, abdominal migraines are a thing, in fact, if you didn't know that. 00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:01.840 And they're apparently really common in kids under 10, which 17-year-old Sam did not find very comforting. 00:04:02.159 --> 00:04:06.080 So he prescribes me a medication, and truly it changed everything. 00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:11.439 I started taking it, and I've taken it every morning since, coming on 11 years of taking this medicine. 00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:15.919 And even if I miss a day or two, I feel like a burn in my chest. 00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:22.480 And what I've learned through all of this is I didn't and couldn't get better until I knew it was wrong. 00:04:22.720 --> 00:04:35.279 Without the right diagnosis, my life was essentially a guessing game of eating certain foods, avoiding certain foods, being anxious, all in the middle of the mess of it, hoping I wouldn't get sick. 00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:41.120 And now, tonight, as we mentioned, it's a special night in the in the life of the church calendar, Ash Wednesday. 00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:51.279 It is a night where we will receive ashes upon our foreheads, where Pastor Matt will recite the verses that Grace just read over you, that you are dust and you will return to dust. 00:04:51.519 --> 00:04:59.680 And tonight, what this service offers us is a diagnosis, not just of our bodies, but of our souls. 00:04:59.839 --> 00:05:06.639 To, and the diagnosis is honest, it's simple, and it's meant not to shame us, but to bring us to healing. 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:08.480 And here's our diagnosis. 00:05:08.800 --> 00:05:12.879 We are sinners, we need a savior, and we are all going to die. 00:05:13.040 --> 00:05:14.959 Aren't you glad you came to church tonight? 00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:22.480 But Ash Wednesday doesn't just diagnose us, it leads us deeper to Christ, our great remedy. 00:05:23.519 --> 00:05:29.839 Because, beloved, if we don't get the diagnosis right, our inner life with God is going to feel unsettled. 00:05:30.079 --> 00:05:35.360 And so we'll we'll spend our lives grasping for false saviors over and over again. 00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:42.160 And actually, we live in a society that essentially tells us the exact opposite of the biblical diagnosis, right? 00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:50.000 We're told that we are all basically amazing, and that if we try really hard and work really hard, we can make our lives perfect and comfortable. 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:55.680 And also, our society tries with everything in its power to hide us from death, right? 00:05:55.839 --> 00:05:57.920 We don't have to look very far to see that. 00:05:58.160 --> 00:06:05.360 Plastic surgery, nursing homes, new amazing research about how to extend days, weeks, and years to your life. 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:10.800 We love to ignore the reality that all of us will be gone one day and forgotten. 00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:20.160 And beloved, it is part of the purpose of Ash Wednesday, this holy night, to bring us right back into the biblical story that we live in. 00:06:20.879 --> 00:06:27.759 With the goal of seeing Jesus as more personal, more sufficient, and more lovely to us. 00:06:28.319 --> 00:06:43.839 So tonight's homily is gonna have three points, each of which explaining through the imagery of ashes, how we can posture ourselves tonight and through the season of Lent before God, ultimately landing on Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:49.439 So, our first point ashes are a sign and symbol of repentance. 00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:54.800 So repentance is essentially the essence of this season of Lent. 00:06:55.040 --> 00:07:02.079 And this is why uh Lent and Ash Wednesday begin with the act of repentance or turning around. 00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:11.279 We see this connection between repentance and ashes in quite a few places in the scriptures, but one of my personal favorites is in the book of Jonah, the book with the big fish, right? 00:07:11.759 --> 00:07:14.720 So Jonah, he's called to go to Nineveh, right? 00:07:14.879 --> 00:07:17.120 Get up and go to Nineveh and preach the gospel to them. 00:07:17.279 --> 00:07:19.199 Turns out Jonah doesn't want to do that. 00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:24.639 So he escapes, but then finally he obeys God's call to preach the gospel to the people of Nineveh. 00:07:25.040 --> 00:07:27.680 He goes and preaches a very unimpressive sermon. 00:07:27.759 --> 00:07:30.160 It has eight words total in the Hebrew. 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:32.000 God can use even the small things. 00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:34.639 And this is what we see in Jonah chapter 3. 00:07:34.879 --> 00:07:44.720 The word reached the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, removed his robe, covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:49.439 So you notice such brilliant writing by the author. 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:55.600 The king removes all of the physical things that defined him as a king and made him feel special. 00:07:56.160 --> 00:08:10.480 He got off his throne, he took off his royal garments, he actually put new clothes on, put on sackcloth, which in this day was a very heavy, uncomfortable black garment only used for the most intense moments of grief. 00:08:10.560 --> 00:08:12.959 It's kind of like how we wear black clothes to a funeral. 00:08:13.040 --> 00:08:15.759 It's kind of a symbolic gesture of grief. 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:22.240 Repentance, like this king of Nineveh, is turning away from and turning toward. 00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:26.959 Much like how he took off his royal garments and got off his throne. 00:08:27.279 --> 00:08:34.159 We too are invited in repentance to recognize the things in our life that we're grasping onto for identity. 00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:38.879 It's probably not a kingdom in a royal robes that you're wearing. 00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:44.159 But maybe it's sin, maybe it's a restless attachment to others' approval. 00:08:44.399 --> 00:08:58.399 Maybe it's an unhealthy relationship with food or alcohol or undealt with anger, whatever it is to turn away from and towards turn towards the God of grace to get off to get off our throne and put him on his. 00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:01.120 Listen to this. 00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:05.919 It is about a God who intervenes on our behalf to rescue us from our sins. 00:11:06.799 --> 00:11:09.200 There is no other religion that claims that. 00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:13.200 Every other religion demands you ascend the mountain. 00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:19.039 This is the only religion in Christianity that says God descended for you. 00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:21.759 God became dust for you. 00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:25.840 So the season of Lent might might include fasting. 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:28.080 It might include giving something up. 00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:33.360 But the very heart of Ashwednesday is for you to return to your first love. 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:39.120 For you to forsake all the broken cisterns and come back to the river of living water tonight. 00:11:39.919 --> 00:11:50.399 First Peter 2, Peter writes this: For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example so that you might follow in his steps. 00:11:50.720 --> 00:11:54.559 He, Jesus, committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:57.759 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return. 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:04.720 When he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:06.320 Listen to this. 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:27.759 See, repentance is turning away from your own effort, from your own striving, from your own religious goodness, and turning onto a God dead on the cross for you. 00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:30.240 That's where your gaze can meet. 00:12:30.799 --> 00:12:43.759 The season of Lent is meant for our gaze to, yes, turn inward to see some of the places that might be a little off, to have grace and compassion on those places, and then ascend to the cross again and again and again. 00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:49.919 Our third and final point ashes bring the sobering reminder that we are going to die. 00:12:50.799 --> 00:13:02.320 Each ash Wednesday, we will walk down this aisle and have Pastor Matt look us, maybe your child, in the eyes tonight, and tell us that we are dust. 00:13:02.639 --> 00:13:05.440 And beloved, it is intentionally heavy. 00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:08.320 It's a reminder of our diagnosis, right? 00:13:08.559 --> 00:13:15.279 Back in Genesis 3, the verses Grace just read, right after our first father and mother, Adam and Eve, ate of the fruit of the tree. 00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:17.840 This is what God told them. 00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:25.919 By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you are taken, for you are dust, and to dust you shall return. 00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:30.240 There is something genuinely scary about facing our death. 00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:43.200 Even for those of us who are fully confident that we are in Christ, that we will be in the new heavens and earth, even if we are dead set in our assurance of our faith, there is still still some level of fear and wandering, right? 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:49.519 Fear and wondering what's it really all gonna be like when we pass to this next life. 00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:54.320 After my dad died, my mom and I had so many conversations like this, right? 00:13:54.639 --> 00:14:00.320 Heaven and eternity feel like a far-off conversation until someone close to you goes there, right? 00:14:01.120 --> 00:14:02.799 We wondered what he's doing. 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:04.240 Is he playing golf? 00:14:04.559 --> 00:14:07.600 Is his redeemed golf swing better than the earthly one? 00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:09.519 We wondered if he thought about us. 00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:11.279 If he missed us. 00:14:12.080 --> 00:14:19.600 In the season of grief that I'm still very much wandering my way through, I can confidently hold on to verses like this in 1 Corinthians 15. 00:14:20.639 --> 00:14:22.799 Oh death, where is your victory? 00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:25.200 Oh death, where is your sting? 00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:34.159 The sting of death is sin, and the power of this of sin is the law, but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:41.519 And I just want to say, I can hold the resurrection of Jesus Christ to be true. 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:46.159 That sin and death are conquered from this day forward and forevermore. 00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:47.200 I can hold that. 00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:53.759 And I can hold at the very same time the ever-present sting that death still brings to the world. 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:55.039 We can hold both. 00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:57.919 That's the great paradox of Ash Wednesday. 00:14:58.080 --> 00:15:07.519 It's the great paradox of Christianity where we don't shy away from the sting of death, but we also hold and cling to the hope of the resurrection. 00:15:07.919 --> 00:15:17.759 And while there is fear, anxiety, a real sting because of death, there is some sobering relief it also brings, right? 00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:28.080 A couple of days after my dad's death in September of 2021, my family and I were sitting at Mays Ward, just right here on Church Street, in one of the sitting areas. 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:31.200 My dad was lying on a bed in one of the closed rooms. 00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:39.360 And each of us, my sisters, my mom, one by one, we went through kind of the mental journey, wondering if we should go in the room and see him. 00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:41.360 Um, see him like that, right? 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:43.120 To say, say our goodbyes. 00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:46.720 We each internally were battling so many questions, right? 00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:48.799 Would it be too traumatic? 00:15:49.120 --> 00:15:51.600 Would uh would it change the way I view him forever? 00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:53.279 Would I regret going in there? 00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:55.440 Would I regret not going in there? 00:15:55.840 --> 00:15:57.360 It was exhausting. 00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:00.399 And it felt like no option was the right one. 00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:02.799 So we each decided to go in. 00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:05.600 Uh, and as we went in, we were in no hurry. 00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:08.480 Nobody was knocking on the door, telling us to hurry up. 00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:12.480 Nobody was uh expecting us to go at a certain level or time. 00:16:13.039 --> 00:16:22.159 And as I pulled a chair right next to my dead father lying in the hospital in the room, the rest of earth vanished. 00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:27.679 All the stress of seminary exams faded. 00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:32.720 All the financial stress that I had been carrying in the weeks leading up vanished. 00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:43.679 That relationship that could use some healing, my golf game, my own sinfulness, my anxiety over whether the next student retreat would be well attended, all of it vanished. 00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:48.720 All of it faded behind the reality laying right before me. 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:51.039 That this life is not all there is. 00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:54.159 That we are dust. 00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:58.000 And there's actually something beautifully relieving about remembering this. 00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:02.639 That we're made for another home, that we're made for another world. 00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:06.079 Our culture tells us to make our life all about us. 00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:09.920 Live a life that you'll be remembered for, and that's honorable. 00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:14.640 But there's something relieving about remembering that hey, we're going somewhere else. 00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:16.799 That's what the resurrection offers for us. 00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:27.839 So on this Ash Wednesday, beloved, as we journey to Good Friday, as we journey to resurrection Sunday, may we be a people who are honest about our diagnosis. 00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:33.039 Not pretending that we're better than we think, because after all, we're more broken than we originally thought. 00:17:33.279 --> 00:17:35.599 And that's what Ash Wednesday invites us into. 00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:56.319 So I'd encourage us in the season to bring to the Lord a Psalm 51 broken heart, being honest about the ways that we've fallen short, not trying to numb ourselves away from those places, not trying to pretend those doors and the closets of our heart aren't there, but looking in there and letting all the junk come out and staring at the love of Jesus. 00:17:57.279 --> 00:18:08.400 So what I would encourage you is in the season of Lent to arrange your life in such a way that you're more and more convinced that the cross of Jesus Christ is sufficient for your salvation. 00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:14.880 Arrange your life in such a way that by Good Friday, the cross is that much more beautiful than it is today. 00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:20.720 And I'll close by reading Paul's benediction to the church at Thessalonica. 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:24.799 I would say just let these words wash over you, beloved. 00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:27.599 Feel them deeply in your heart and spirit. 00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:29.119 The Apostle Paul writes this. 00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:33.759 Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely. 00:18:34.079 --> 00:18:40.480 And may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:46.160 And here's the good news He who calls you as faithful, he will surely do it. 00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:47.599 Let's pray. 00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:55.839 Father, thank you for this sobering and heavy and beautiful evening. 00:18:56.720 --> 00:19:02.720 Lord, I don't know what everybody uh has come into this room carrying, but you are a God who knows all things. 00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:09.920 Lord, you are a God who has a much deeper love for sinners than we could fathom. 00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:34.480 Father, I pray for each of us in this room that as we journey through this season of Lent into Holy Week, into Good Friday, where we stare at the cross and into Resurrection Sunday, Lord, would we be a people who for the next 40 days are really honest about the places in our life that are a little out of out of touch, the places in our life that are a little off. 00:19:34.960 --> 00:19:42.640 Lord, I pray that you would reveal to us like a check engine light some of the places where we're grasping onto idols and false identities for holiness. 00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:51.440 Lord, would we be a people who are brutally honest about our diagnosis and thus leading to Jesus, our great remedy? 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:53.359 I pray this in his name. 00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:54.160 Amen.