WEBVTT 00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:02.240 We're studying our way through the book of Ephesians. 00:00:02.319 --> 00:00:03.439 We're in chapter five today. 00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:05.839 We've been saying two things to begin each sermon. 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:10.400 The first is this Ephesians is about what God has done for us in Christ. 00:00:10.560 --> 00:00:12.240 That's chapters one through three. 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:15.759 And then there's a transition in chapters four through six. 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:19.120 The transition is how we should live in light of it. 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:23.679 So we've been saying because of that, our walk with Jesus is not for God's love. 00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:27.440 Our walk with Jesus is from God's love. 00:00:27.600 --> 00:00:30.559 And today we're talking about marriage. 00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:44.640 Whether you are married or you're single, or you're single again, or one day you'll be married, whether you're fulfilled or frustrated, I think we could all agree that we want good, healthy marriages for ourselves, for our friends, for our family. 00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:49.520 There's a great marriage scene in the movie, The Incredibles, the animated movie. 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:50.960 It feels like real life to me. 00:00:51.039 --> 00:00:55.759 The world is burning down all over the place in the superhero fro zone. 00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:58.799 He cannot find his super suit. 00:00:59.039 --> 00:01:04.400 So he blames his wife, and then his wife, you know, attacks back at him and he blames again, and back and forth. 00:01:04.480 --> 00:01:04.879 They go. 00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:06.879 We'll watch about a minute of it. 00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:54.239 That's silly, but that does feel a lot like life. 00:01:54.799 --> 00:02:07.120 Me transferring all of my frustration with life with myself, with some logistic, with some mess up as a car, and just transferring all that frustration onto my spouse. 00:02:07.439 --> 00:02:12.319 I mean, I've never lost I've never really lost my AirPods, right? 00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:14.080 Like Christy's just moved them. 00:02:14.240 --> 00:02:16.800 Like I'm I've never, I would have never lost my airpod. 00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:18.319 Like you've never lost your AirPods. 00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:19.680 I'm sure you've never lost your AirPods. 00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:22.960 It's just all it's just your spouse has moved them, right? 00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:25.039 Anybody else lose their AirPods every day? 00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:25.439 Yeah. 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:25.919 Right? 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:27.360 I have no idea where mine are right now. 00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:28.240 They'll find me. 00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:31.199 That's finally the conclusion I've come to is just you just keep living life. 00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:33.360 Eventually they show back up as helpers. 00:02:33.599 --> 00:02:37.199 So our passage this morning, Ephesians 5, let's jump into verse 22. 00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:46.479 Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. 00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:52.000 Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:56.319 Now that word everything means everything as it is moral and good. 00:02:56.800 --> 00:03:00.560 And the word submission means to respect and to come under. 00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:07.840 Point number one is this submission is each person living to give rather than to take. 00:03:08.159 --> 00:03:19.199 Verse 21 is the transition phrase through this chapter and this passage, and it's introducing a section on relationships, this idea of how should we structure a marriage? 00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:24.719 And verse 21 says this submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 00:03:24.879 --> 00:03:34.159 So the principle of mutual submission gives birth to the application of the wife submitting to the husband's loving leadership. 00:03:34.319 --> 00:03:41.120 And for Paul, a given role may hold authority, but everyone has worth. 00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:49.120 And for Paul, all authority is always understood as love for the good of the other person. 00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:54.879 I've been married to three versions of my wife. 00:03:55.439 --> 00:04:02.800 When I proposed to her 22 years ago, I thought I knew her because we'd known each other since she was 14, and I was 15. 00:04:02.879 --> 00:04:06.639 Here's a picture of us in early high school, little cuties there. 00:04:07.199 --> 00:04:11.520 I mean, I knew her better than I knew probably anybody else. 00:04:11.840 --> 00:04:23.040 So I married that cute, sweet Christian girl who loved Jesus and she loved other people, but really she had not found like her inner strength, right? 00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:25.680 Like I could bulldoze her early in marriage. 00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:28.000 And I was bulldozing her early in marriage. 00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:28.959 I didn't even realize it. 00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:30.720 I don't know if she really realized it all that much. 00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:33.680 I just kind of bulldozed, and she was just, whatever, that's fine. 00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:36.160 She was always ready, always willing to. 00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:38.480 And everything changed. 00:04:38.720 --> 00:04:44.319 And then we had children, and everything changed. 00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:49.600 And she was a young mom, and she was also learning more about her identity in Christ. 00:04:50.639 --> 00:04:55.839 And she had really firm opinions about how these babies should be raised and how the world should work. 00:04:55.920 --> 00:04:59.839 And then she suddenly started to have opinions on politics and society and the church. 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:00.240 Right? 00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:01.759 She was growing. 00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:04.399 And I had to adapt. 00:05:05.279 --> 00:05:05.600 Right? 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:07.040 To learn to love her. 00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:09.759 And I was growing, she had to learn to adapt. 00:05:10.319 --> 00:05:13.519 Now I'm married to a third version of my wife. 00:05:13.839 --> 00:05:15.600 And she loves her girls, she'll let you know. 00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:16.959 She loves me, she'll let me know. 00:05:17.040 --> 00:05:20.560 She works and she's a boss at work, and so she's learned how to be a boss. 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:25.839 She's discovered what I always knew, and that is she's really smart and she's good with people. 00:05:26.399 --> 00:05:30.639 So I married this passive Christian girl. 00:05:31.199 --> 00:05:37.279 But now I'm married to this assertive, secure, kind Christian woman. 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:38.480 Right? 00:05:38.639 --> 00:05:39.680 That relationship grows. 00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:42.000 Any relationship grows. 00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:43.920 You're gonna change, you're gonna grow. 00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:48.639 The other person adapts, they change, they grow, you adapt to them, they adapt to you, you're growing together. 00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:58.800 So I asked her, I said, Chrissy, can you put in a paragraph uh sort of like your thoughts on what it means that you're called to submit to me that I'm your husband? 00:05:58.879 --> 00:06:00.000 Like what does that mean to you? 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:03.600 What did it mean to you early on, and then what does it mean to you 21 years later? 00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:04.879 And here's what she wrote. 00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:14.959 Early on, I thought submission was about me going along with your opinions, but I didn't realize how much you listened to me and are called to listen to me. 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:17.199 Surrender is now a huge word for me. 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:23.680 In full surrender to God's plan, I can trust the Holy Spirit to work things out in his timeline, not mine. 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:28.079 It is a surrender to the covenant I have chosen to enter in marriage. 00:06:28.319 --> 00:06:35.120 God's plan is oneness, friendship, and companionship, even while the modern mind draws me toward freedom and choice. 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:41.360 And yet God knows it is best for me to submit to the covenant of marriage for oneness and companionship. 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:49.680 So I'm sort of wondering at this point in the passage and thinking about this, okay, well, what kind of husband is this submission occurring to? 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:51.120 What's he like? 00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:52.879 Well, we get that, verse 25. 00:06:53.199 --> 00:07:12.560 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her with the washing of the water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 00:07:12.639 --> 00:07:16.399 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. 00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:18.879 He who loves his wife loves himself. 00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:26.959 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. 00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:32.240 Point number two is this husbands are to love their wives with one way love. 00:07:33.519 --> 00:07:38.560 The word love here, Paul uses is agapio, which is unconditional love. 00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:42.160 No cause, no repayment, one way. 00:07:44.079 --> 00:07:52.560 Paul is saying, husbands, love your wives, give, give, give, give, and then give some more. 00:07:53.040 --> 00:07:56.959 One way without recognition, no scorekeeping. 00:07:57.519 --> 00:07:59.439 Serve, love, care, adore. 00:07:59.600 --> 00:08:02.800 Here's how the commentary on this passage put it. 00:08:02.959 --> 00:08:11.600 A husband should never use his headship to crush or stifle his wife or frustrate her from being herself. 00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:21.600 He will give himself for her in order that she may develop her full potential under God and so become more completely herself. 00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:26.079 That's how much the husband loves and is for the wife. 00:08:26.639 --> 00:08:31.759 Now that's the husband the wife is respecting and coming under. 00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:37.600 I love that because for Paul, authority has nothing to do with a domineering figure. 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:41.519 Authority is about loving responsibility. 00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:48.879 Verse 31, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 00:08:48.960 --> 00:08:53.440 The mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 00:08:53.600 --> 00:09:00.720 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. 00:09:01.519 --> 00:09:11.120 Twenty-two years ago in premarital counseling, our counselor Ronnie, way back then, he said to me, he said, Hey, the greatest need she will have from you is love. 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:16.080 And then he said to Christy, the greatest need he will have from you is respect. 00:09:18.559 --> 00:09:20.639 That comes from verse 33. 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:22.639 Wives, respect your husbands. 00:09:22.799 --> 00:09:23.919 Husbands, love your wife. 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:32.159 Point number three is this marriage is best when husband and wife are united, so they're one together, while independent. 00:09:32.639 --> 00:09:34.240 They're rooted in Christ. 00:09:34.559 --> 00:09:43.279 See that same counselor, Ronnie, he said this the best gift you can give your spouse is your spiritual independence. 00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:44.799 I thought that was odd. 00:09:44.960 --> 00:09:50.320 We were about to get married, we're gonna be one, and now he's telling us to be spiritually independent. 00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:58.879 I think we could say it this way: the best gift you can give your spouse is your spiritual health with God apart from your spouse. 00:09:59.759 --> 00:10:02.399 That's true for any relationship, by the way. 00:10:02.799 --> 00:10:07.120 Because that other person, spouse, friend, parent, kid, cannot fulfill you. 00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:08.559 They can't make you whole. 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:14.480 And as soon as you need that fulfillment or wholeness from them, they will disappoint you, you will be resentful. 00:10:15.519 --> 00:10:21.919 But if you are connected but independent, you're attached, you're one, but you're independent. 00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:28.960 Uh a psychologist, the Jewish counselor Edwin Freeman, he called this the differentiated self. 00:10:29.360 --> 00:10:31.519 You're connected, but you're not enmeshed. 00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:33.759 You're one, but you're still independent. 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:40.080 You're differentiated, you have an identity that is apart from this other person. 00:10:40.320 --> 00:10:44.639 So you don't go to your spouse for something they were never created for. 00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:52.399 You go to God for his acceptance of you, for your value, for your worth, your forgiveness, your contentment. 00:10:53.440 --> 00:11:01.200 Now you can go into marriage and respect and love and care and deserve. 00:11:02.639 --> 00:11:06.000 Early in our marriage, we were poor, like real poor. 00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:09.200 Like I was trying to think about we had multiple children. 00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:14.159 I think, I think I was making like$50,000 a year, multiple kids. 00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:15.440 Uh, you can do the math. 00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:17.200 Some of y'all are doing that math right now. 00:11:17.360 --> 00:11:18.399 You know it's hard. 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:20.559 That's hard math to do. 00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:27.679 So date night would come up, we'd pay the babysitter, Katie Sims at the time, Katie Sim Rall, she'd come over to our house in Grant Park. 00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:34.559 She was a college kid, and we'd give her$35 to watch our kids, watch our babies, and we would go to Takeria. 00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:37.519 We would order four tacos, a cheese dip, two waters. 00:11:37.679 --> 00:11:40.080 We could not have dreamt of ordering a margarita. 00:11:40.240 --> 00:11:42.080 We looked across at those other tables. 00:11:42.240 --> 00:11:46.240 People were drinking six dollars times two, twelve extra dollars. 00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:48.879 That was insane to think about. 00:11:49.279 --> 00:11:50.559 So we paid$14. 00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:54.159 So we're in at$49 for the date. 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:55.840 And then we go walk around a park. 00:11:55.919 --> 00:11:58.399 We walk around Chastain Park, we walk around Piedmont Park. 00:11:58.480 --> 00:11:59.759 The date was the babysitter. 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:09.120 Like the date was paying, just paying somebody to watch our children so we can get away and see each other, talk to each other, be together. 00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:11.919 Just to leave the house together was amazing. 00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:13.440 Now we leave whenever we want. 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:14.799 Older people, you know what I'm talking about? 00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:15.440 Isn't that amazing? 00:12:15.519 --> 00:12:16.240 It's amazing. 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:17.360 It's great. 00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:20.320 But life is like a busy dance floor. 00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:26.320 Like it's just full of logistics, it's chaotic, you're busy, there's a lot going on, so many steps on your foot, there's problems, right? 00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:33.519 But in the only way you can see the dance floor is to get off the dance floor and you get up to a balcony and then you can look down on the dance floor. 00:12:34.879 --> 00:12:41.759 And so I've been thinking about it this way how do we create balcony moments in our marriage where you get outside the logistics? 00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:43.919 We have to have something beyond logistics. 00:12:44.399 --> 00:12:49.759 I mean, if marriage or any relationship is just logistics, you'll drive each other crazy. 00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:55.840 I mean, you could be doing the life of logistics with Jesus Himself, and you'll be frustrated. 00:12:56.080 --> 00:12:57.279 Logistics are that hard. 00:12:57.360 --> 00:13:04.240 So you have to create balcony moments where you get outside of that dance floor, off the dance floor, up in the balcony, and you can look down on it together. 00:13:04.480 --> 00:13:05.440 Three possible ways. 00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:07.440 Number one is a daily connection. 00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:12.240 Maybe you take a walk, maybe coffee, sit on the porch, pray, devotion. 00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:15.200 And you're saying, How are you today? 00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:16.639 What happened today? 00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:19.840 And then, second, how do you feel about what happened today? 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:25.600 And then if you don't know how you feel about what happened today, that means we need to grow in emotion and awareness of our emotions. 00:13:25.840 --> 00:13:28.559 A Christian girl, you cake to your spouse, and you can grow. 00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:32.080 For us early on, I married that sweet, passive Christian girl. 00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:39.360 So she grew up thinking she was gonna marry the sweet Christian man and they're gonna wake up and have their coffee together and have their devotions together, gonna pray for each other. 00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:40.240 It's gonna be so sweet. 00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:42.720 Well, I don't like coffee and I don't like to talk in the morning. 00:13:42.879 --> 00:13:43.840 So that died. 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:46.320 That just that died quick. 00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:48.879 But we can walk together. 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:49.919 Like it doesn't matter what. 00:13:50.159 --> 00:13:52.080 What I'm saying is like you can work it out. 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:54.320 You just have to have daily connection. 00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:55.840 You need daily connection. 00:13:56.080 --> 00:14:00.960 The second is a weekly moment, some sort of a date night, a dinner, a concert, a hike. 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:03.679 Something more than logistics. 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:06.960 The third is a periodic overnight. 00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:11.120 Maybe you go camping, uh, maybe you get a hotel early on. 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:16.879 When priceline was a big deal when we were early married, I priceled a hotel buckhead for like 70 bucks, like, but it was nice. 00:14:17.279 --> 00:14:18.799 We went camping a few times. 00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:21.200 Uh uh, some adventure, something. 00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:27.279 You don't have to spend money, make it cheap, but some shared experience outside your normal routine. 00:14:28.320 --> 00:14:33.039 My friend Callie, she calls this, I see you and still like you. 00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:35.120 Right? 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:37.279 Like, because logistics are just frustrating. 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:44.240 Finally, in our marriage, a few years ago, I said, Chrissy, we're talking about logistics together all week, and it's sort of driving me crazy. 00:14:44.320 --> 00:14:46.159 And every time we talk, we're just talking about logistics. 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:48.480 So we start doing a Sunday night planning meeting. 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:56.879 So we have a Sunday night, sit down and let's review the week, especially when our children weren't driving, who needs to be where, let's assign it on the camera. 00:14:57.039 --> 00:15:07.039 Let's just do 30 minutes of logistics, sit down, let's just have a planning meeting, like it's a business meeting, and then we don't have to just every time we talk to each other all week, it's just logistics, logistics. 00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:08.399 I mean, that's horrible. 00:15:08.559 --> 00:15:10.240 That's not fun, that's not enjoyable. 00:15:10.399 --> 00:15:12.000 Let's do it all at one time. 00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:17.759 See, what we need to be like, we gotta see through all those logistics every once in a while to see that other person. 00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:20.799 Oh, I see, like, oh, I see you. 00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:22.080 Like, there you are. 00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:25.679 Like, life has made you, as Leon Morgan says, a real butthole. 00:15:25.759 --> 00:15:26.960 But I see you. 00:15:27.200 --> 00:15:31.200 Like, I see you, I like you, and I like you. 00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:34.480 See, on the balcony, you can grow grateful. 00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:39.600 On the balcony, you can you can see life, you can plan, you can be grateful for the past, you can think about the future. 00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:49.679 My mentor, what he's instilled in me in 10 years, the last 10 years, is grace plus time plus vulnerability equals relationship. 00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:54.240 And all that's really hard if all you're doing is relating on logistics. 00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:59.360 But grace to each other, time with each other, so vulnerability in those moments. 00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:01.759 That's what equals a relationship over time. 00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:11.200 Last point is this our marriages, all relationships, whether married or single, all relationships reveal our need of grace, reveals our need of Jesus. 00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:14.320 A few sentences from Tim Keller's book, The Meaning of Marriage. 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:26.480 When over the years someone has seen you at your worst and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him or herself to you wholly. 00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:28.559 It is a consummate experience. 00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:33.679 To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. 00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:36.720 To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. 00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:42.480 But to be fully known and truly loved is well a lot like being loved by God. 00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:44.639 It is what we need more than anything. 00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:52.960 It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us from any difficulty life can throw us. 00:16:53.120 --> 00:17:06.240 This is how marriage is an image and a picture of the gospel itself, that we can be fully known by God and all our greatness and all the horrible parts of us, and he still loves us, that Jesus is enough for that. 00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:09.920 So if you want to know how to have a healthy marriage, we just we look to Jesus. 00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:11.440 We look to the gospel. 00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:15.920 Jesus who sacrificed himself for the well-being of his beloved. 00:17:16.640 --> 00:17:25.920 And as we discover our identity in Jesus more, the wealth of that, the security we have as individuals is that now we can go into marriage, serve, love, care, respect. 00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:29.519 I used to read the Jesus Storybook Bible to my girls every night. 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:35.039 The first few drawings there in Genesis, the creation is perfect world, it's bliss. 00:17:35.119 --> 00:17:36.640 Here's one of the images from the very beginning. 00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:38.559 I mean, look, naked people with a lion. 00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:43.359 I mean, that's the dream, you know, just to be naked with a lion. 00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:46.319 And then Genesis 3 happens, right? 00:17:46.640 --> 00:17:48.240 Sin happens. 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:52.480 And Adam and Eve decide that they don't want God as their creator. 00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:56.799 They don't want to accept him as a sustainer or savior. 00:17:57.119 --> 00:17:58.640 And sin enters the world. 00:17:58.799 --> 00:18:00.880 And then we get the first sad scene. 00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:05.519 And here's a picture of the sad scene as Adam and Eve are walking out of the garden. 00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:07.200 Their backs are to us. 00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:10.799 They're together, his arms are around her, she's near him. 00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:14.319 And they may have been sad when they left the garden. 00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:16.400 Toward them in their mess. 00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:17.359 Remember, they were hiding? 00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:18.720 Because they have clothes on them. 00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:20.000 Right? 00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:21.839 He moved toward them in their mess. 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:23.359 Remember, they were hiding. 00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:25.039 And God moves toward them. 00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:26.240 They didn't move toward him. 00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:30.799 God moves towards just like he moves toward you in your mess, your relational mess. 00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:34.319 Your relational mess is God moves toward you. 00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:35.119 Where are you? 00:18:35.440 --> 00:18:35.599 Right? 00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:36.720 That's what he says, where are you? 00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:37.519 And then what does he do? 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:38.480 He covers them. 00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:40.079 He provides for them. 00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:42.559 And it's that imagery that we have in Jesus. 00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:44.400 Our sin is put upon the cross. 00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:46.000 His righteousness is given to us. 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:47.680 We are covered. 00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:49.599 We are covered. 00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:52.880 I've always wondered about that conversation on the way out of the garden. 00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:54.160 What's that conversation like? 00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:56.799 Were they still blaming, or did they get over that? 00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:58.720 Or are they like, I'm sorry? 00:18:59.359 --> 00:19:00.240 I forgive you. 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:00.799 I'm sorry. 00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:01.519 I forgive you. 00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:02.880 That's a lot of marriage, by the way. 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:04.319 Just do that every day. 00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:05.279 I'm sorry. 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:06.480 I forgive you. 00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:11.359 I think also in that conversation, one of them probably said something. 00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:12.880 I'm just guessing, it's not the Bible. 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:16.720 It says something like, I can't believe that he still loves us. 00:19:18.319 --> 00:19:20.400 I can't believe he came and found us. 00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:23.200 I can't believe he's compassionate. 00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:28.880 I mean, so that that speaks directly to all of our relational messages. 00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:35.200 All the way that you haven't upheld a marriage, or maybe I had a failed marriage, maybe it's your fault or their fault, I don't know. 00:19:36.079 --> 00:19:36.960 But he loves you. 00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:42.079 He clothes you. 00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:48.799 And he clothes you today in the righteousness of himself, not in your righteous record. 00:19:50.319 --> 00:19:52.079 That's what we're discovering. 00:19:52.319 --> 00:20:14.160 See, the more we discover the secure identity we have as a beloved son, our beloved daughter, and the wealth that we have, and this provision of Jesus for our worth, our acceptance, our forgiveness, our righteousness, the more we discover that, the more we can go into marriage or any other relationship to respect, to care, to adore, and to love people. 00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:15.200 That's pray to God. 00:20:16.079 --> 00:20:19.359 Heavenly Father, thank you that you know us and love us. 00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:24.559 It's not that you don't know us and love us, and it's not that you know us and refuse to love us. 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:28.240 You you know us and you love us. 00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:35.359 Thank you for that one-way love that we have in Jesus that's not dependent upon our record or our performance. 00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:40.000 Thank you that Jesus is enough for our forgiveness and righteousness this morning. 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:46.000 Help us discover even more the secure identity we have as your beloved sons and beloved daughters. 00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:52.480 May this fuel how we go to respect and love and care and adore each other. 00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:53.920 In Jesus' name we pray. 00:20:54.160 --> 00:20:54.640 Amen.