So when our oldest daughter was about a year old, she was in a preschool.
We were living down in Atlanta.
She was in a little like morning, mother's out morning preschool thing.
Christy was working halftime.
I was working full-time in a church down in Atlanta.
So she's a year old.
And so what would happen is we would alternate picking uh Josie up from this little preschool.
She's a year old.
And so I did know it was my turn.
I did know that.
I had it written down 11:30 a.m.
Pick up Josie, and then I'd pick her up, and usually we'd go to the playground for 30 minutes, and then I'd hand off to Christy.
Christy take her home and then I'd go back to work.
And I did, I really did know it was my morning.
And I had been saying, like, pick, you know, pick up Josie, pick up Josie, 11:30, pick up Josie.
And I was working away at my desk, just working away, and you know, the Lord's work, just you know, working.
And last I remember I looked up and it was 11.05, and I was like, oh, great.
I have about 10 minutes, 10 more minutes to work.
I need to be there at 11:30.
Okay, so I put my head back down, blah blah blah blah blah.
I mean, inspiration is coming.
I mean, I'm in the I'm in the zone.
I'm in the work zone.
And then I turn my head over to the to the clock, and it's 11:40.
Okay, so I'm 10 minutes late already.
Uh it takes me about three minutes full speed to run from my office up the stairs through the sanctuary, down the main hall, into that parking deck.
So that's three minutes, and then it's about seven minutes to get over to that other church to pick her up.
And I'm like, so 10 minutes late, and I just gonna take me, I'm 20 minutes late right now.
And so I I take off.
I am out the door.
I'm running, I get in the car, I'm driving over there, and sure enough, I get there's no car rider line like buffer, right?
Like there's no like long car rider line that you're like, oh, I'll be I'll sneak in right at the end.
Nobody will know.
You know, I mean, I'm late.
I show up, the parking lot's empty.
The only people left is her teacher and her.
So all the other preschool employees are fully aware what kids left and what parents you know neglected this child, they're aware of this.
Then it's just her and her teacher of that walk of shame walking in, felt like a third grader coming into your teacher.
I apologize to the teacher, I pick her up, and now's the dilemma.
Tell Christie.
Do I tell Christie?
It's the dilemma.
There's some factors in this, right?
Because number one is my daughter's a year old, she barely can speak, she can't speak sentences, so she can't tell.
I I doubt the teacher's gonna say anything, probably she's not gonna say that.
So it's probably a pretty safe thing to not mention, except I felt really bad about it.
I could confess it, but not like the full honesty of like, oh, I love my work more than my child, that's why I was late, right?
So I could confess sort of like a half, half honest, like I was late, I would you know, just want to let you know if the teacher says anything, you know, I was I was late, but it was sort of because you know I was late and then I was running out of gas and I had to go to the quick trip, and then you know, pump one was out, so I had to go to pump five, you know, like I could do something like that, sort of like a hybrid confession, that was an option.
Or I could come clean.
Right?
Now, how honest I am in that moment has everything to do with a couple factors.
It has to do with uh just how exhausted I am, just how at the end of myself I am.
Am I just like broken and exhausted and like I just don't care to pretend or perform and just whatever happens, happens.
And also, what is her regard toward me?
How confident am I of her regard to me?
Because if I think there is a shame-filled lecture waiting for me, you ain't getting my honest confession.
If I think there's a guilt trip, if I think there's scorekeeping on me, waiting for me, you're not gonna get my confession.
Right, we're gonna hedge on that.
But what if, what if there's a co-parenting spouse who knows imperfection and forgetfulness and mess-ups and knows all of that also, and is waiting to extend forgiveness.
What if that was true?
Well, it's like now we now we could talk about repentance this morning if that is true of God.
If that's true of God toward us, then we could talk about repentance without it being like fearful and like turn and burn, and like, you know, me have to conjure up fear in you, and then you'll repent.
Like, like we could talk about it because it's in the context of what the scriptures say, God's kindness leads us to repentance.
My favorite definition of repentance, which I've mentioned before, is the late profound pastor Jack Miller.
His definition, and it said this repentance is our ongoing calling to collapse on Jesus, acknowledging our need and receiving his supply.
Our ongoing collapse on Jesus.
Author Henry Nowen, he described it like this: He said, Oh, it's like you're in a room and you're facing the door.
But the door's locked from the outside, and you're trying to get out of this door, and you just can't, you can't get out.
It's locked.
I mean, at first you're pushing on it, you're turning that handle, and then you start to really get your shoulder into it, like you know, you're backing up, Herschel Walker, kind of putting your shoulder, and nothing you can do, and the wall, you can't get out of those walls, and you're just pounding on it, pounding, and you're just getting more and more tired.
You can't, out of your own strength, you can't get out of this room.
So finally, finally, you fall down, and when you fall down, you turn around, and when you turn around, you realize there's no wall behind you.
There was never a wall behind you.
And the point is that a life of enslavement is always only three walls.
If only you'll turn around.
Repent.
Right?
And we what we're repenting of is we're repenting of all that self-saving.
It's all of us trying to get out of this room by ourselves without any surrender, without any death to the self.
That we are gonna do it all.
We're gonna work our way into fulfillment, work our way out of guilt, work our way out of our own sin and its consequences and the separation with God.
We're gonna work our way into favor with God.
We're gonna put our shoulder into that door.
We're gonna get more and more tired, but the whole time, God's saying, Would you just quit?
We stop, we die to self, we surrender.
There's no wall behind you.
It's in the giving up and the turning around.
So, a couple points, work our way through this, we'll read the text.
Point number one is this is repentance is a sorrowful, yet a joyful turn.
Here's our text, Luke 13, 1 through 4.
Christy read it, I'll reread it.
There were some present at the very time who told him, Jesus, about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices, so he he murdered them, he killed them.
And he answered them.
Jesus answered this group.
Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered in this way?
No, I tell you.
But unless you repent, you will likewise perish.
Or those 18 on whom the tower of Siloam fell and killed them, do you think they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem?
So some of the people they were asking this question about these people who were killed by Pilate.
Their implied question is this.
They're worse than me, right, Jesus?
Like they're kind of like the they're kind of like the super sinners, and I'm just like maybe like not quite as bad.
Because if that's true, well, it means I'm better than them, which we would love that, but then it also means then maybe something like that can't happen to me.
Because then it would just be reserved for like the really bad people, and then what I need to do in my life is just not be too bad.
And Jesus says, Oh no.
No, there's no worse sinners.
You're not better than them, and you can't control whether that happens to you or not.
See, Jesus turns it around directly on them.
And he says, Hey, quit looking at them.
Like that's not even the game.
Unless you repent, you will also perish.
So he turns it right back on you and me.
Don't sit in judgment on somebody else.
They're worse than you or better than you.
Unless you repent.
Unless you give up, unless you turn around.
All we have is people created beautiful in God's image.
But we're sinners.
We're not perfect.
We rebel, we try to self-save, live without God.
That's all we have.
And that's point number two.
There are no good people, and there are no bad people.
There are only beautiful yet broken people.
So there's no like better people, like good people.
That's a good person.
But there's no also no bad people, like, oh, that's the super, the worst person.
That's not how it is.
You know what it is?
It's just us.
And what we are is we are beautifully created by God, and yet we are sinners in need of God's grace.
It's the story of every person.
Jesus wants to point out some things about this, so he heads into a parable to teach it.
Verse 5, he repeats his thing about repent, or you'll also perish.
No, I tell you, but unless you repent, so the way to life, eternal life, is by turning toward God, you will also likewise perish.
And he told him this parable.
A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit from it, and he found none.
And he said to the vine dresser, Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none.
Cut it down.
Why should it use up the ground?
And he answered him, Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure.
Then it should be bear fruit next year, well and good, but if not, you cut it down.
Now I didn't cut the text here.
That's actually where the parable ends.
We don't know what happens to the tree.
We have no idea.
It's almost like Jesus' point.
You don't know.
But what we know here is the owner is God the Father, the gardener is Jesus, and we're the fig tree.
And the owner says, hey, the tree's not producing any fruit.
Let's cut it down.
And this is where the gardener steps in, and this is the good news for us.
Verses 8 and 9 is the good news for us because Jesus says, Oh, are you talking about that that useless, beat up tree, that one?
I know that tree.
I know him.
I know her.
Will you give me some time?
Give me some time with her.
I know it's not looking good.
I know she hasn't changed a lot.
I know there's not a lot of fruit.
We're probably not gonna put a testimony video of him up in front of the church.
I I know that.
Will you give me time?
I I think they'll get their act together.
That's what he's saying.
I think I I think I I can do something with him.
Last Christmas, the sermons were over, Christmas Eve was over, the sermons were over.
Christmas presents were over on Christmas morning.
We had breakfast and Christmas presents, and we throw all the bags in the car, and we're all packed up to go to Florida, to Christy's parents' house in Florida, and we're heading down, we head down Church Street, we turn left on the loop.
Nobody's on the road.
My Christmas gift to myself.
Nobody's on the road to drive in these situations.
It's just worth it, guys.
Just say, hey, you know, only present I want, sweetheart, just let me go drive on the Interstate Christmas afternoon.
It is wonderful.
And I'm looking forward to getting on that interstate.
We're so close to being on the interstate, so we're 10 minutes from our house, and I look at Christy and I say, Hey, did you get the swim bag?
Sort of implying, like, hey, you were supposed to get the swim bag.
Did you get the like goggles, sunscreen, pool tool, like our sanity for being around a pool with little kids?
And it wasn't Christmas joy.
She looked back at me and was like, no, I didn't.
Did you get it?
Because I was actually the one supposed to get the swim back.
And I wasn't really frustrated with Christy because I was the one who's supposed to get the I always get the swim back.
I'm the one who gets the swim back.
I'm frustrated with myself.
And this wasn't my plan, right?
I was gonna make great time.
We're gonna have a rest stop right before making.
Great rest stop.
We hit that one.
We're gonna stop in Tifton for food.
We're gonna hit the rest stop on the turnpike.
We're gonna dehydrate our children in between so there's no extra stuff.
Like, I have the plan, and this is not, this is not part of my plan here.
And it's like, here again, just a reminder, just a reminder, Russ is sort of gonna mess something up.
Right?
Like, oh, I kind of messed that sermon up last night on Christmas Eve, and if I noticed, but I noticed, and I'm thinking about that, and then like, oh yeah, I was a little impatient with that other thing, oh yeah, by the way, and you can't even put a swim bag in the car.
It would have only been 10 minutes home, 30 seconds to get the bag, 10 minutes back.
We're talking 20 minutes and 30 seconds, right?
So hard to turn around.
So hard.
We just hate turning around.
Because turning around implies that we were wrong.
But what if?
What if the turnaround was always in the context of God's kindness?
What if it was always in the context of God's love and acceptance of you?
What if it was never there was what if there was never a shame-filled lecture or guilt trip or condemnation when you turned around?
Tim Keller wrote a great article, All of Life is repentance.
I've read this quote before, it's worth reading again.
Our hope is in Christ's righteousness, not our own.
So it is not traumatic to admit our weaknesses and lapses.
In religion, we repent less and less often.
But the more accepted and loved in the gospel we feel, the more and more often we will be repenting.
Point number three is this while the result of repentance is bearing fruit, while the result of repentance is bearing fruit, Jesus is patient with us to work out that fruit.
So while the result of repentance is bearing fruit, Jesus is patient with us to work out that fruit.
Like it didn't do much.
Like, I mean it just planted it.
Like it took so long for anything impressive to happen.
My neighbor across the street, Greg across the street, diagonal across the street, he planted an elm tree like three years ago.
It was almost the same size.
And Jesus compares us to a tree, a fig tree.
Trees are very unimpressive in their ability to change quickly.
See, change doesn't always happen quickly.
Not always.
And you know this.
If you've ever lived with anyone, right?
Like a roommate, a brother, a sister, a parent, a spouse, you know this because you know the human nature in them and they know the human nature in you.
And maybe you can do some adaption and your behavior out in public, but they know the you that is resistant to change.
But the promise is not that you're gonna be transformed into perfection overnight.
That's not the promise.
The promise is Jesus' regard to you, that he asked for more grace in this situation.
Hey, give me more time with him.
I want more time with her.
The tree should have been cut down.
The owner's like, hey, it's not producing fruit.
Let's cut it down.
It's just no, give me some more time.
I want some more time.
I'm gonna put some fertilizer around, I'm gonna dig around, I'm gonna work some in their heart.
I think they'll come around.
I think they're getting there.
And in all the ways, I mean, this is sort of the point where I go, like, okay, so like, is my repentance enough?
Like, like, am I sorrowful enough?
And like, well, maybe I'll just okay, so then I could, I'll just repent of the lack of my repentance.
Anybody doing that yet?
I'll do that.
That kind of covers a few things, right?
Just like, all right, so I repent, but I'm like, ah, it's not quite sorrowful enough, so let's repent of the lack of sorrow.
So, okay, so I covered that, and then like, well, there's probably stuff I haven't repented of.
Well, let's repent of the stuff I'm not aware of.
And I'm like, all right, now we're like pretty covered here.
And then you're like, well, but what if all of that is not like meaningful enough or something?
And here's what I want to say.
Yes, it's not.
And you get a ways down the road and you're like, oh wow, even my repentance was like pretty self-righteous in that moment, or you are aware of something else.
You repent of what you're aware of.
That's what you repent of.
You repent of it in the amount of sorrow you have.
And for all the ways that you lack in your repentance, Christ's righteousness, still enough for you.
Still enough.
That's why our sin is put upon him on the cross.
Like that's where the work was done.
He did the word, not us.
And his righteousness is given to us.
This week we watched the documentary on Mr.
Rogers, Won't You Be My Neighbor?
Has anybody seen that?
He's won some awards, pretty fantastic.
Uh his second most popular song is in there.
He sings it.
And it's called It's You I Like.
Here are the lyrics.
It's you I like.
It's not the things you wear.
It's not the way you do your hair, but it's you I like.
The way you are right now, the way down deep inside you, not the things that hide you, not your toys, that are just beside you.
But it's you I like, every part of you, your skin, your eyes, your feelings, whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember, even when you're feeling blue, that it's you I like.
It's you yourself.
It's you.
It's you I like.
I said, what's that about?
Well, it's not about license.
It's really not.
It's not about like license, oh well, that means I can do whatever I want.
That's not what it's about.
He knew.
He knew the best chance at real change from the heart outward, that the best chance for that came if you were fully known and fully loved.
That is when the heart becomes so secure in being loved and forgiven that the heart is relieved and healed.
And new motives, empowerment unto growth and grace can actually happen.
The parable gives us exactly what we need to hear.
Number one, accept reality about yourself, that you are in fact, and I am in fact, not perfect, in need of God's grace.
We are in need of Jesus stepping in and saying, like, oh yeah, they're not bearing enough.
Give me some more time.
I'm I'm with I'm with him, I'm with her.
Number two, live in astonishment of that grace and repentance of anything you're aware of, and that's that's fruit.
That's fruit.
And then lastly, trust and know that there is a gardener who refuses to cut you down because you're having a hard time.
My brothers and sisters, we have a Jesus so wonderfully loving to us that he defends us and he nourishes us.
So may we live in continual collapse on him.
Let's pray together.
God, thank you that you love us so much that while we don't deserve life with you by our merit or our goodness, you yourself come in the person of Jesus, and not only do you teach, but you lived out a life of grace upon us.
Our lives are not what they should be.
They're not what we even want them to be in so many ways, especially when it comes to our hearts and motives and thinking.
And yet you fully know all of it and you fully love us.
You declare us righteous by the cross, absolved of all of our sin.
Would we trust and know this gardener who says, Give me some more time?
I love him, I love her.
And would this love, this kindness, lead us to repentance and a life that honors you?
In Jesus' name.
Amen.