WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:06.719 We are making our way through the Sermon on the Mount, which is the core of Jesus' teaching. 00:00:06.959 --> 00:00:09.439 We're in this section called the antitheses. 00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:12.800 The antitheses that Jesus is speaking these new teachings. 00:00:13.359 --> 00:00:15.919 He's taking us into the inner life. 00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:25.039 He keeps saying things like, You have heard this taught, but now I am telling you this. 00:00:26.079 --> 00:00:38.399 So last week we looked at this teaching where he says, You have heard it said, Do not commit murder, but I am telling you, don't even find anger in your heart. 00:00:39.280 --> 00:00:42.640 So he's taking us into the inner life. 00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:49.119 Today's text, Matthew 5, 27 through 30, let's get into it, verse 27. 00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:53.759 You have heard that it was said, you shall not commit adultery. 00:00:53.920 --> 00:01:03.439 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:07.280 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. 00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:14.480 For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:19.040 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. 00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:25.840 For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. 00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:28.319 Well, verses 29 and 30. 00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:29.760 Pretty intense. 00:01:30.879 --> 00:01:34.319 I I don't think they're saying that if you have an affair, you're going to hell. 00:01:34.400 --> 00:01:38.239 I have friends, I have Christian friends who have been in hotel rooms. 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:42.959 They had no business being in. 00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:48.239 And I don't think they're going to hell because of that. 00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:49.680 But this is a commentary. 00:01:50.159 --> 00:02:05.519 This is Jesus speaking with such intensity on these issues of adultery and lust and the actions that come out of that because of the destruction it produces, the shame it creates. 00:02:06.799 --> 00:02:08.000 And we know this. 00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:10.479 You know this. 00:02:10.800 --> 00:02:12.719 We know this because we've seen it. 00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:15.120 We know it because we've experienced it. 00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:17.759 Maybe you've caused it. 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:21.759 Maybe you're living in the middle of it. 00:02:24.719 --> 00:02:26.719 A year ago I read this quote. 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:27.919 It hasn't left me. 00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:33.120 It might be the most insightful words I've ever read on adultery. 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:37.120 I read it when we spoke about this topic last year. 00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:37.919 It's Dr. 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:39.520 Esther Peeler. 00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:44.719 She's a researcher and sexual therapist, and she's writing about extramarital affairs. 00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:45.919 And here's what she says. 00:02:46.240 --> 00:02:51.759 Very often we don't go elsewhere because we are looking for another person. 00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:57.360 We go elsewhere because we are looking for another self. 00:02:57.680 --> 00:03:08.560 It isn't so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become. 00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:15.840 This is why Jesus takes us from adultery into the inner life. 00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:25.039 Because you can't talk about adultery without recognizing this is all about your inner life. 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:30.639 Jesus understood the heart to be the center of who you are. 00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:39.759 And he's showing us that your life and your actions flow from your heart. 00:03:40.479 --> 00:03:46.240 So since we're talking about adultery and lust and sex, such a fun topic for us to talk about. 00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:50.159 Now it is interesting that millennials are having less sex. 00:03:51.599 --> 00:03:52.879 You would never guess it, right? 00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:53.919 I'd be fascinating, right? 00:03:54.000 --> 00:04:03.199 Millennials, ages 20 to 35, are having less sex than any generation since the 1920s. 00:04:04.560 --> 00:04:08.719 So this is according to the Archives of Sexual Behavior. 00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:09.520 It's a journal. 00:04:09.599 --> 00:04:11.360 The research came out last month. 00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:15.039 I know you devour that journal every month. 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:25.040 Well, the research was in last month's Archives of Sexual Behavior, the millennials having less sex than any generation since the 1920s. 00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:28.160 This has been written about in CNN, Washington Post. 00:04:28.319 --> 00:04:32.079 It's everywhere because everyone wants to figure out why. 00:04:32.319 --> 00:04:33.759 Why is this going on? 00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:39.600 And I think maybe it's because of the distraction of technology. 00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:44.639 So if you have a kid ages 20 to 35, thank you, Minecraft. 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:48.720 Maybe it's the proliferation of porn and technology. 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:52.879 Maybe it's just an overly obsessed achievement culture. 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:55.759 We don't know. 00:04:55.839 --> 00:05:05.600 But the sad news is this while millennials are having less sex, they are more open to extramarital affairs. 00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:12.800 So the behavior has changed, but the heart of lust is still there. 00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:18.399 Okay, so if we're going to talk about lust, we need to define lust. 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:20.720 We need to talk about sexual urges. 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:26.560 Now, sexual urges are interested in sex, and we are sexual beings. 00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:28.800 No need to blush. 00:05:31.279 --> 00:05:36.959 What this means is it means that our sexual urges should not be connected to shame. 00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:39.279 You don't need to blush. 00:05:40.560 --> 00:05:43.519 They're private and they're personal, but they're not shameful. 00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:45.120 Not the urge, not the desire. 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:47.199 God created that in you. 00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:53.519 God didn't have to make reproduction so incredible for us. 00:05:54.879 --> 00:06:02.160 He could have made it as enjoyable as folding laundry while watching Jeopardy. 00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:07.600 Now, some of us probably enjoy sex as much as folding laundry. 00:06:07.759 --> 00:06:11.600 Don't raise your hand, and some of you might enjoy folding laundry more. 00:06:11.839 --> 00:06:13.920 Please don't raise your hand. 00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:22.000 This is probably because you've attached some shame to sex and to sexual urges. 00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:24.000 And that's wrong. 00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:31.680 Just as lust is wrong, attaching shame to sexuality or sex inside of a marriage is wrong. 00:06:31.839 --> 00:06:33.839 Can I get an amen? 00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:38.720 Okay, so a few points. 00:06:39.519 --> 00:06:41.920 A few points coming out of this text. 00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:45.120 Why does Jesus take us from adultery to lust? 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:46.720 Why is he talking about lust? 00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:49.279 Why is he talking about the inner life in the heart? 00:06:49.439 --> 00:06:53.040 Point number one, lust erodes meaning. 00:06:53.439 --> 00:06:55.920 Lust erodes meaning. 00:06:56.160 --> 00:07:00.560 Lust is an unmet need in the heart of a needy person. 00:07:02.240 --> 00:07:06.000 So last Monday we were out at my in-laws and we're swimming and we're cooking out. 00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:11.759 A new neighborhood is being built over to the side of their property, just on the outside of a bunch of trees. 00:07:11.839 --> 00:07:17.040 And so we all pile, Christy and I and our three girls, we pile on a golf cart, their golf cart. 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:21.920 Everybody loves a ride on a golf cart, doesn't matter how old you are or how achieved you are. 00:07:22.079 --> 00:07:24.399 If you see people on a golf cart, you want on. 00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:25.839 And so we're on the golf cart. 00:07:25.920 --> 00:07:30.560 We drive up the driveway, up to the street, down the street, and then back down to this new neighborhoods being built. 00:07:30.639 --> 00:07:34.079 And it's on the side of this mountain, so the side of this huge hill. 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:39.439 And it's just like stair steps going down, just house after house after house, just going down this huge hill. 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:43.120 So if you're the top, if you're the top house, you're you're loving it. 00:07:43.279 --> 00:07:47.040 You're reigning over all these other houses. 00:07:47.120 --> 00:07:51.600 But as we drive down this hill, you just start to feel for the houses at the bottom. 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:57.759 Maybe you own a house at the bottom, and you know, you know this because you own a house at the bottom. 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:00.800 Where the water goes means everything. 00:08:00.959 --> 00:08:17.360 I had a friend who bought a house at the bottom of one of these neighborhoods, and it's all about you're just trusting when you buy that house that the water will channel to the right places, that the water will channel to the drains in the streets and the sewers. 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:28.639 But for him, it ended up in his yard, and it began to erode his foundation of his home. 00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:39.600 See, there are channels that lead to meaning, and there are channels that erode meaning. 00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:42.559 You know this, and this is what's going on. 00:08:42.639 --> 00:08:44.000 That's why I'm talking about this neighborhood. 00:08:44.080 --> 00:08:44.799 This is my point. 00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:49.120 Channeling rightly means everything. 00:08:49.360 --> 00:08:52.480 Channeling rightly means everything. 00:08:52.639 --> 00:09:03.440 We have to do it with our HDMI cables, you have to do it with your bank drafts, the energy you give to your job and your family and your God-given sexual urges. 00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:15.679 Because sexual urges that are misplaced unto lust begin to erode at the foundation of the very meaning of sex itself. 00:09:18.639 --> 00:09:21.679 So I've been reading this week about Victor Frankel. 00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:25.919 Frankel was a personality theorist from Vienna. 00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:28.960 He wrote a book called Man's Search for Meaning. 00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:31.200 Somebody handed me this book last year. 00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:31.840 I read it. 00:09:32.000 --> 00:09:35.759 It's fascinating about his survival out of concentration camp. 00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:38.720 And he had this theory called logotherapy. 00:09:38.799 --> 00:09:40.799 This was what he practiced with his patients. 00:09:40.879 --> 00:09:42.879 He had a huge success rate. 00:09:43.039 --> 00:09:45.840 It was a therapy of meaning. 00:09:46.559 --> 00:09:53.679 He said that it isn't pleasure we are seeking, but meaning. 00:09:55.120 --> 00:10:01.840 And he said we only seek pleasure when we can't find meaning. 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:09.519 So we use pleasure to numb our hearts from the pain of not having meaning. 00:10:10.159 --> 00:10:12.399 Now I think this has everything to do with sex and lust. 00:10:12.480 --> 00:10:17.279 That's why I'm talking about it, because sexual urges are innate and good. 00:10:17.679 --> 00:10:31.840 I mean, men, pour your wife a glass of red wine or sweet tea, whatever's in your home, and tell her you have a reading for her from the holy scriptures of God. 00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:38.159 And you open up Song of Solomon chapter 4, and you start to read. 00:10:50.159 --> 00:10:53.440 You are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. 00:10:53.600 --> 00:10:58.480 You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. 00:10:58.639 --> 00:11:02.559 I mean, come on, that's good material to work with, men. 00:11:04.240 --> 00:11:05.919 I mean, this is the passage. 00:11:06.080 --> 00:11:10.240 When you were in middle school, you remember when you found it. 00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:18.320 But now it tells us how God is for sex. 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:24.320 And wife, oh godly Christian wife, listen how the wife replies in Song of Solomon. 00:11:24.480 --> 00:11:28.720 She replies, erotic and she replies, sexual toward her husband. 00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:39.919 She says this, awake, north wind and come, south wind blow on my garden that its fragrance may spread everywhere. 00:11:40.159 --> 00:11:47.120 Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. 00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:54.480 So sex is needed and good, but there is a channel. 00:11:54.639 --> 00:12:06.559 And the channel doesn't exist to diminish pleasure, but to merge pleasure with the highest possible of meaning and the least possible destruction and shame. 00:12:06.960 --> 00:12:23.120 Great, meaningful sex where you give yourself to another is only in the context of a safe, secure covenant marriage which creates the greatest possibility of vulnerability and security and meaning. 00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:27.279 Lust brings great moments of pleasure. 00:12:28.080 --> 00:12:30.080 Nobody will deny that or argue that. 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:36.879 Lust brings great moments of pleasure, but it can't deliver it with meaning. 00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:43.919 So there will always be an isolating self-centeredness to it. 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:59.039 The design of God channels our urges not to immediate pleasure, but to pleasure, coupled with the greatest possible meaning of who you are and sex itself. 00:12:59.279 --> 00:13:00.720 So that is point number two. 00:13:00.879 --> 00:13:06.559 While lust erodes meaning, sexuality and sex are full of meaning. 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:29.519 I sit in conversation after conversation where this issue has and is creating destruction for families and relationships, grown-ups, parents and kids, and it's left the poison of shame that so many of us are walking around, shackled by. 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:32.559 I'll never forget a conversation I had with a good friend of mine. 00:13:32.639 --> 00:13:34.639 He sat me down, he said, I need to tell you my story. 00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:36.559 I I want to tell you my story. 00:13:36.799 --> 00:13:48.879 He said, I I would have never guessed the distance between that first playful text to that hotel room that could have been so short. 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:54.960 We may always have lust, but we don't have to obey it. 00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:59.279 And we don't have to be shackled by it nor the shame it creates. 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:02.240 Maybe you live in the shame of that thing. 00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:06.799 Listen, you aren't defined by your actions. 00:14:07.679 --> 00:14:16.399 You are defined by God's love toward you that is outside of you and given to you, and it's defined by Christ's actions for you. 00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:19.360 You, messy, broken you. 00:14:19.679 --> 00:14:24.480 You are his beloved based on his work for you. 00:14:26.240 --> 00:14:28.799 He really loves you. 00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:33.919 And listen, we have to get a handle on this. 00:14:36.320 --> 00:14:40.639 But we get a handle on it by letting go, then diving in. 00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:43.039 That's the phrase that kept coming to me this week. 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:45.279 We let go so we can dive in. 00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:47.440 We let go so we can dive in. 00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:55.679 Okay, so letting go, meaning we have to let go of trying to satisfy our lack of peace with sexuality. 00:14:57.519 --> 00:15:04.159 And deeper than that, stopping the search for meaning and love and acceptance with what you produce or what you see. 00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:08.480 This is just a form of justification by merit. 00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:15.360 It is exhausting whether you do it with achievement or religiosity or lust. 00:15:19.360 --> 00:15:31.200 Have you ever surrendered that pursuit that's so exhausting over to God who loves you from outside of yourself? 00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:36.480 This is the context of these antitheses. 00:15:37.360 --> 00:15:41.279 Jesus saying, in the beginning of this, two Sundays ago, we talked about this. 00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:43.759 Jesus says, I completed the law. 00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:48.480 He lived up to all the shoulds in life, all the things we should be. 00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:53.120 He says, Hey, I lived up to those things for you. 00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:55.360 And in all of this, he is breaking it down. 00:15:55.440 --> 00:15:58.559 Last week with murder, not anger. 00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:00.240 This week adultery, yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:16:00.559 --> 00:16:01.519 But lust. 00:16:01.759 --> 00:16:13.039 He is taking us into ourselves for us to see we are broken and we need a love and a righteousness, a redemption from outside of ourselves, which is God's love to us. 00:16:13.279 --> 00:16:17.600 We know it in Christ crucified for us. 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:24.320 All of our brokenness put upon him and his righteousness put upon us. 00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:27.039 So we let go. 00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:33.200 This is how grace frees, but we let go so we can dive in. 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:40.159 Now that we are secure in love, no matter what, you can dive in and you can face your lust. 00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:48.000 Point number three is this the grace of God disarms lust. 00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:50.559 The grace of God disarms lust. 00:16:50.720 --> 00:16:53.919 Henry Nowin, great mystic writer, chaplain. 00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:58.240 He was taught at several Ivy League schools. 00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:00.879 Incredible, incredible writer. 00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:01.919 He wrote this. 00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:06.880 How do we befriend our inner enemies' lust and anger? 00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:09.680 By listening to what they are saying. 00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:14.880 They say, I have some unfulfilled needs, and who really loves me? 00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:24.559 Instead of pushing our lust and anger away as unwelcome guests, we can recognize that our anxious-driven hearts need some healing. 00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:33.519 Our restlessness calls us to look for the true inner rest where lust and anger can be converted into a deeper way of loving. 00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:37.599 There is a lot of unruly energy in lust and anger. 00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:48.559 When that energy can be directed toward loving well, we can transform not only ourselves, but even those who might otherwise become the victims of our anger and lust. 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:53.759 This takes patience, but it is possible. 00:17:54.559 --> 00:17:56.079 Here's what he is saying. 00:17:56.400 --> 00:18:02.000 Lust will teach us if we dare to face it rather than obey it. 00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:03.680 Meaning this. 00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:12.160 You can ask, what lie is generating this lust? 00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:17.680 What do I think I need that I had back then? 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:20.960 I experienced back then, and I think I need it again today. 00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:25.279 What lie is generating this perceived need? 00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:29.759 What do I think I missed out on that I think I need today? 00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:36.079 What lie is eroding the very foundation and the meaning of the good things in my life? 00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:40.000 What lie is producing this lust? 00:18:44.559 --> 00:18:50.160 God is telling us something through our sexuality and our sexual urges. 00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:52.960 He's telling us something because those things are good. 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:56.880 He's telling us we long to be accepted. 00:18:57.599 --> 00:19:02.720 And out of that longing, we are a factory of needs. 00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:11.119 And some of those needs are these core needs that God meets, but some of these needs are perceived needs. 00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:14.640 And one after another, they just arrive. 00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:16.559 They're just arriving inside of ourselves. 00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:18.640 We're just producing these needs. 00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:26.559 And we think at first we should be able to meet all these needs, and we run to try to meet all these needs in all sorts of ways, and we fail. 00:19:28.480 --> 00:19:30.480 We're exhausted in the pursuit. 00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:39.359 Then we think Christianity and Jesus should be able to meet all these needs, and then we become disillusioned. 00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:44.960 And then listen, here's the rescue. 00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:47.440 Here's where we must land and end up. 00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:52.880 The grace of God itself nullifies the entire process. 00:19:54.160 --> 00:20:00.799 We don't come to the grace of God for all of our perceived needs to be completed. 00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:08.640 We come to be free from having to have all of our needs completed. 00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:19.200 Because we are accepted and beloved even while we have needs being unmet. 00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:33.839 So, my brothers and sisters, may you walk in the way of grace that Jesus gives, healing you from your shame no matter where you've been or what you've done. 00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:47.200 May you live secure as God's beloved, accepted before you act, being freed and learning from the very brokenness that attempts to shackle you.