WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:00.640 Well good morning. 00:00:00.800 --> 00:00:06.959 So yeah, we're working our way through the Beatitudes, short scripture readings versus uh when we went through Exodus, right? 00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:09.839 Uh you were standing up there for five, six minutes sometimes. 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:11.279 We read a long narrative. 00:00:11.519 --> 00:00:23.679 So uh what we talked about last week is that that first Beatitude, um, blessed are the poor in spirit, and then today we have blessed are those who mourn or lament or grieve. 00:00:24.079 --> 00:00:29.519 So last Monday, this past Monday, I went down to visit my granny. 00:00:29.760 --> 00:00:31.920 Granny's been here a few times, maybe you've seen her. 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:33.759 Um she can't come anymore. 00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:38.000 Her condition's gotten that poor, she's uh about 94 years old, I think. 00:00:38.079 --> 00:00:41.119 I say about because either she's 93 or 94, and I couldn't remember. 00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:41.840 Is she 94? 00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:42.560 Is that right, Christine? 00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:43.600 All right, Christy knows. 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:44.560 She's 94. 00:00:44.799 --> 00:00:49.359 Uh but my mom had told me that she wasn't doing well on Sunday, so I went down on Monday to see her. 00:00:49.439 --> 00:01:04.079 And when I walked in, she was in the little dining hall at um the assisted living place that she um she lives at, and she was at her table, and she's was very hunched over, and she was fiddling with something and not talking to the other lady at the table. 00:01:04.239 --> 00:01:15.760 And I walked up and uh and just kind of rubbed her on the back and said, Hey Granny, um, you know, uh this is Russ, your grandson, Mary's son, Mary's your daughter. 00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:17.760 I have to introduce all of that. 00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:21.040 Um, and then she either pretends to know me or she knows me. 00:01:21.120 --> 00:01:33.599 I'm not sure which it is, uh, but explained to her that I love her, and she had been fiddling and who knows how long to try to get a creamer open for her coffee, and so I was able to do that for her. 00:01:33.840 --> 00:01:45.840 And I sat with her and we talked um just about the weather and about how horrible the meal was because that's what she likes to talk about, and those kinds of things. 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:53.840 And here's a woman uh who has incredibly smart, incredibly sharp, uh, and her mind is almost gone. 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:59.280 Um I mean, she's probably bought and sold more real estate than anybody else in this room. 00:01:59.439 --> 00:02:04.799 Uh she always treated waitresses incredibly horrible, just really, really bad. 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:08.960 Uh just painful uh to sit there and watch it happen. 00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:13.120 And she traveled all over the world, um, and now here she is. 00:02:13.199 --> 00:02:16.319 Like this is this is this is it, like toward the end. 00:02:16.479 --> 00:02:19.360 Um she's confined to this place, she can't leave. 00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:23.439 Um, she'll probably never leave this place again because she's under hospice. 00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:25.120 And it's a nice place, right? 00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:31.759 Like she can't wander off, you know, relatively everything's cared for, her emergency needs are taken care of. 00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:34.240 Uh well after lunch, they brought us some rescue dogs. 00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:35.360 This was a big hit. 00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:36.960 I don't know if you realize that. 00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:41.199 Rescue dogs at the assisted living where most of most people are in dementia. 00:02:41.439 --> 00:02:42.159 Big hit. 00:02:42.319 --> 00:02:43.680 Everybody's in the room. 00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:44.879 It was awesome. 00:02:45.039 --> 00:02:49.360 And so we're in there, and I'm next to Granny, and this is a huge, I mean, this is awesome. 00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:53.520 I mean, ecstatic, ecstatic for everybody. 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:57.520 Um, and and it's just it's it's sad though, um, at the same time. 00:02:57.599 --> 00:03:03.680 Um, the the condition and sort of the pain at this time of life and the loneliness. 00:03:03.840 --> 00:03:20.319 Uh, I mean, one gentleman who who knows how smart and sharp and with it and influential this guy had been, had urinated on himself, and is walking around, and there wasn't even shame for it because he wasn't even aware of it. 00:03:20.639 --> 00:03:23.599 And um finally a nurse got around to him. 00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:31.199 And all very incredibly lovely people, still, still lovely people. 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:36.800 And uh probably uh most of us will be there one day if we make it that far. 00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:39.520 Uh and it's sad, right? 00:03:39.680 --> 00:03:41.759 Like there's some mourning here. 00:03:41.919 --> 00:03:43.520 There's mourning in that. 00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:48.240 There's there's mourning uh because some are in pain, and there's mourning because some are lonely. 00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:50.800 There'll be mourning when she passes. 00:03:51.199 --> 00:03:54.319 There will be mourning when your loved one passes. 00:03:54.400 --> 00:04:00.159 There'll be mourning when your friend gets sick and dies, or your spouse or you get sick. 00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:02.479 There's mourning when you lose your job. 00:04:02.719 --> 00:04:11.360 There's mourning uh when that wound from that person doesn't go away and you thought it had gone away, but it's not. 00:04:12.240 --> 00:04:14.879 And then also this week, my little girl turned eight. 00:04:15.120 --> 00:04:16.800 We had a birthday party yesterday. 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:20.000 Last Saturday, we went to Claire's at the mall. 00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:22.000 Has anybody been to Claire's at the mall? 00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:23.759 Don't go with three little girls. 00:04:24.079 --> 00:04:27.680 Do not go in that store with three little girls. 00:04:27.839 --> 00:04:29.759 Uh we went in with three little girls. 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:31.120 We came out with three also. 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:33.759 That was hard to get all of them out of Claire's. 00:04:33.839 --> 00:04:35.680 Uh, most of you have probably haven't been in Claire's. 00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:37.680 Just stop in next time you're at the mall. 00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:43.920 And my little girl, my eight-year-old, she sat in a chair and she got her ears pierced. 00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:45.519 This is a big deal. 00:04:45.680 --> 00:04:47.839 All morning she'd been talking about it, right? 00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:49.839 Like all morning she'd been talking about it. 00:04:49.920 --> 00:04:58.399 And so finally, after hours of her talking about it, I just got to say, like, hey, um, how long have you been looking forward to getting your ears pierced? 00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:00.959 Because this is quite an overflow of an excitement. 00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:04.000 And she said, Dad, my whole life. 00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:08.879 My whole life has been leading up to this. 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:17.360 And then yesterday morning, Christy made this sweet video of all these pictures of her over the past year. 00:05:17.759 --> 00:05:25.680 And just so sweet, and just sit there and watch this, and I don't get that year back. 00:05:27.439 --> 00:05:30.000 And there's mourning even there. 00:05:30.879 --> 00:05:31.279 Right? 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:38.639 So there's mourning and the sad thing, but then there's also mourning and the good thing that progresses. 00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:46.639 So we can grieve a job loss, but we can also grieve a job promotion. 00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:56.160 Because you left some friends that were at the other job, as you all sat in cubicles and you're buddies, and you talked bad about the people that were above you, and now you're one of the people above. 00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:06.879 And you can grieve, like you grieved having a small house because it was so small and you know it's horrible, and then you got a bigger house. 00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:10.800 And now you're grieving it because it's more complicated and it's stressful. 00:06:11.519 --> 00:06:23.279 So we can grieve the sad thing, but we can also grieve the good thing that progresses, and we don't just grieve the big things, we also, and we have to give ourselves permission for this, we grieve little things. 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:25.519 So here's a quote in your handout. 00:06:25.600 --> 00:06:31.839 This is by Mark Epstein, a psychiatrist, in his book, The Trauma of Everyday Life. 00:06:32.879 --> 00:06:38.560 Trauma is not just the result of major disasters, it does not happen to only some people. 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:47.279 An undercurrent of trauma runs through ordinary life, shot through as it is with the poignancy of impermanence. 00:06:47.519 --> 00:06:54.079 I like to say that if we were not suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, we are suffering from pre-traumatic stress disorder. 00:06:54.240 --> 00:07:01.360 One way or another, death and its cousins, old age, illness, accident, separation, and loss hangs over all of us. 00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:02.800 Nobody's immune. 00:07:02.959 --> 00:07:13.519 Our world is unstable and unpredictable and operates to a great degree and despite incredible scientific advancements outside our ability to control it. 00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:17.839 Then he goes on to say daily life is filled with endless little traumas. 00:07:18.160 --> 00:07:19.199 Things break. 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:20.959 People hurt our feelings. 00:07:21.279 --> 00:07:22.800 Ticks carry Lyme disease. 00:07:22.959 --> 00:07:23.680 Pets die. 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:25.759 Friends get sick and even die. 00:07:25.920 --> 00:07:31.199 The first day of school and the first day in an assisted living facility are remarkably similar. 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:33.680 Separation and loss touch everyone. 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:38.800 Trauma is an iradicable aspect of life. 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:43.199 We are human as a result of it, not in spite of it. 00:07:43.439 --> 00:07:47.519 Okay, so that sounds incredibly depressing on one level, but here's the thing. 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:57.439 Jesus says, Matthew 5, verse 4, blessed, fortunate, lucky are you those who mourn. 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:04.000 Blessed are those who mourn, to lament, to grieve, for they shall be comforted. 00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:06.959 Now, nobody wants to grieve. 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:09.920 Nobody wants to grieve. 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:11.439 Nobody's looking forward to grieving. 00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:18.079 Like we would all prefer just to be at the writs and be laying by the pool, and people come around and they give us drinks and we hang out. 00:08:18.800 --> 00:08:20.240 That's what we prefer. 00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:24.639 Or we prefer just to sort of manage everything. 00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:30.240 If we can manage all of our circumstances, then we won't be sad anymore. 00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:36.159 Or some escape. 00:08:40.240 --> 00:08:43.360 And we like these things and many more because they give that illusion. 00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:45.919 They give that illusion of control or escape. 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:49.600 But see here, Jesus sort of flips the whole thing around and he says, hey, no, no, no, no, no. 00:08:49.679 --> 00:08:50.799 Like don't avoid it. 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:55.679 Don't even try to control it, but you need to process through it. 00:08:55.840 --> 00:08:59.360 And by the way, you have permission to do this. 00:08:59.600 --> 00:09:05.519 Jesus gives us permission to feel something that is already in our lives. 00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:13.360 See, he knows what Mark Epstein was going to write in this book, that psychology and psychiatrists will discover. 00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:19.279 He knows that, that all loss must be mourned. 00:09:19.919 --> 00:09:21.679 Not ignored or escaped from. 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:23.759 It has to be mourned. 00:09:23.919 --> 00:09:33.919 Loss, any loss, big, small, the sad thing or the good thing that progresses has to be mourned. 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:39.919 Have you ever wondered why that person is like that? 00:09:40.720 --> 00:09:47.440 I mean, that person that does something or is around you and you're going, how, why are they like, oh my gosh, driving me crazy? 00:09:47.600 --> 00:09:49.759 Have you ever wondered why they're like that? 00:09:50.159 --> 00:09:56.879 Have you ever wondered why you always go back to that urge or that tendency or that feeling? 00:09:57.039 --> 00:09:58.159 Is it possible? 00:09:58.399 --> 00:10:03.840 Is it possible there was a change in your life that you never mourned? 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:11.600 Is it possible there is a loss in your life that you never mourn because you just wanted to get on with it? 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:20.080 Something you never process through, you never let go, you never, as Jesus says, hey, hey, blessed are you if you mourn. 00:10:20.399 --> 00:10:23.840 If you lament, if you grieve, if you get angry. 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:34.399 A few months ago, I heard a podcast with this guy named David Kessler, who is a grief expert, a leading grief expert, one of them in the United States. 00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:41.600 And so he had studied, been around a lady named Elizabeth Keebler-Ross, who's a Swiss American psychiatrist. 00:10:41.759 --> 00:10:56.399 She had the theory, she put together the theory, the five stages of grief, which are, if you remember from your psychology 101 class in college, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 00:10:56.799 --> 00:11:00.879 So Kessler worked closely with her, and then he adds in a few points. 00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:02.000 And here's what he adds in. 00:11:02.080 --> 00:11:04.000 I put them in your bulletin there just so you can see them. 00:11:04.159 --> 00:11:04.799 Here's what he says. 00:11:04.879 --> 00:11:08.080 He says, I the five stages, most of us have heard those. 00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:09.200 If not, you just heard them. 00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:12.240 And he says, let's think about these, but a few key points. 00:11:12.480 --> 00:11:15.440 Number one is this grief doesn't have to be linear. 00:11:16.080 --> 00:11:19.200 Like it's not like you go through those five perfectly, one to the next. 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:20.799 It doesn't have to be linear. 00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:23.519 And you don't always experience all the stages. 00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:26.799 Maybe you grief something, but you you're never depressed. 00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:30.159 Maybe you grief something, but you're you never bargain with God. 00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:32.879 So grief doesn't have to be linear. 00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:34.480 Grief is unique. 00:11:34.799 --> 00:11:36.480 Like it's unique to you. 00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:42.000 Like you can't compare your grief to somebody else's grief. 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:43.600 It's just yours. 00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:48.240 And I would add that you can't compare your pain to somebody else's pain. 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:49.440 It's just yours. 00:11:49.600 --> 00:11:50.960 It's your pain. 00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:52.960 And it's your grief. 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:56.960 And the third is you have to go through grief. 00:11:57.519 --> 00:11:58.240 We don't want to. 00:11:58.320 --> 00:11:59.039 I already said that. 00:11:59.120 --> 00:12:00.320 We don't want to. 00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:02.159 But it's already there. 00:12:02.399 --> 00:12:05.039 And so you have to go through it. 00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:06.799 You can't get around it. 00:12:07.600 --> 00:12:12.159 The saying, I guess, in kind of counseling worlds, you can't heal what you don't feel. 00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:15.840 You can't heal what you don't feel. 00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:17.840 And maybe you say, well, I don't feel. 00:12:17.919 --> 00:12:18.559 Like that's not me. 00:12:18.639 --> 00:12:19.360 That's not my personality. 00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:22.639 Like I'm just not like a big feely emotional person. 00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:27.200 And maybe part of that's personality, maybe part of that's kind of leaning towards how you grew up. 00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:30.480 Maybe you grew up religious, and maybe you heard, like, you know what? 00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:32.320 Like, or at least you felt this. 00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:33.360 Like, you know what? 00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:35.679 There's starving kids in Africa. 00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:38.000 You can get your act together. 00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:42.399 Like, like, God doesn't care about that pain in your life. 00:12:42.559 --> 00:12:44.000 There are kids starving. 00:12:44.080 --> 00:12:46.399 There are kids being trafficked around the world. 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:48.399 How dare you feel like that? 00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:52.720 The problem with that is it doesn't do anything for the fact that you're still in pain. 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:54.720 Your pain's still real. 00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:58.159 And it has to, you have to go through it. 00:12:58.320 --> 00:13:00.799 Maybe you uh grew up kind of stoically. 00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:03.039 Like you grew up in a stoic home. 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:05.200 You weren't you weren't allowed to feel. 00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:06.960 You weren't allowed to be unhappy. 00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:08.399 You weren't allowed to be sad. 00:13:08.559 --> 00:13:10.399 Like you can't show. 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:19.279 Maybe it maybe it would have been a bad, you know, maybe your family could have been looked down upon if you didn't have your act together. 00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:20.240 And so, you know what? 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:21.360 Put the smile on. 00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:30.480 We're showing up at Christ's Redeemer, at Walker Preschool, you better get your act together, you know, or else everybody's gonna think so poorly about us and so stoic. 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:40.399 And meanwhile, uh, if we grow up those ways or we act those ways, we can become a very cold, uh, agitated person. 00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:45.759 So here's the big point, it brings us back to Jesus' statement. 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:47.919 You can't receive anything. 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:52.559 You can't receive anything until there's space to receive it. 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:54.320 Right? 00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:59.039 It turns out that mourning creates space. 00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:03.200 Mourning creates space. 00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:07.840 A friend of mine's digging a big hole in his backyard to put in a swimming pool. 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:09.120 I've been watching this happen. 00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:10.240 I've been thinking about this. 00:14:10.399 --> 00:14:11.440 Mourning creates space. 00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:13.200 That backyard's a disaster right now. 00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:14.080 I mean, it's horrible. 00:14:14.159 --> 00:14:16.639 I mean, if you look back there, you're like, that is a construction zone. 00:14:16.879 --> 00:14:18.559 And eventually it's gonna be great. 00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:21.360 Mourning creates space. 00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:26.559 Something else can go in the space that's created. 00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:29.600 There's this entire book in the Old Testament called Lamentations. 00:14:29.679 --> 00:14:30.960 Most of us never read it. 00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:33.360 If you read it, it's kind of depressing. 00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:35.279 I mean, it's incredibly sad. 00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:41.120 It's a whole book of lamenting, it's a whole book of mourning, grieving the situation they are in. 00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:45.519 Jerusalem's been sieged, it's been destroyed, and the book communicates. 00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:49.200 It's these people communicate how defeated they feel. 00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:53.120 I actually read this in my devotional this week. 00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:57.519 It came up this week, Lamentations 3, 14 through 18. 00:14:57.759 --> 00:15:04.559 I have become the laughing stock of all peoples, the object of their taunts all day long. 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:07.600 He has filled me with bitterness. 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:10.559 He has sated me with wormwood. 00:15:10.879 --> 00:15:16.960 He has made my teeth grind on gravel and made me cower in ashes. 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:19.360 My soul is bereft of peace. 00:15:19.519 --> 00:15:21.840 I have forgotten what happiness is. 00:15:22.399 --> 00:15:28.399 So I say, my endurance has perished, so has my hope from the Lord. 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:30.320 Right? 00:15:30.799 --> 00:15:37.759 Just raw, real mourning, grieving, lamenting, anger. 00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:45.120 So Jesus says, Fortunate are you if you do that. 00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:51.840 To grieve, to lament, to be angry over that thing for a season. 00:15:52.159 --> 00:15:52.960 Fortunate are you. 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:54.159 So just a few points. 00:15:54.240 --> 00:15:56.080 Some of these are summarizing what I already said. 00:15:56.320 --> 00:15:58.639 Number one, you have permission to mourn. 00:15:58.879 --> 00:16:01.039 Jesus gives you permission to mourn. 00:16:01.360 --> 00:16:03.919 It's okay to not be okay. 00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:08.960 You actually need to not be okay in order to begin to be okay. 00:16:09.679 --> 00:16:11.039 And you're free to mourn. 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:16.480 And it doesn't mean you're not spiritual, it doesn't mean you're not mature, it doesn't mean you're not growing spiritually. 00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:20.399 It is the path towards comfort and healing. 00:16:20.639 --> 00:16:24.159 Number two, point number two, you are blessed if you mourn. 00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:28.559 So not only is he giving you permission, he's saying you're fortunate if you do this. 00:16:29.919 --> 00:16:35.759 Number three, you are blessed because you can then be comforted. 00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:39.600 So in Lamentations, there's no glossing over how these people feel. 00:16:39.679 --> 00:16:40.559 I mean, it's just raw. 00:16:40.960 --> 00:16:41.279 This is it. 00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:42.159 It's already in me. 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:43.840 I might as well let it out. 00:16:44.080 --> 00:16:46.240 There's no stoicism here. 00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:47.919 It's just what it is. 00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:56.559 It's like here I am, I'm angry, I'm angry as a hornet, and under that, I'm actually sad, and under that, I'm actually quite broken, and I'm exhausted of trying to escape it or control it. 00:16:57.279 --> 00:17:01.360 And Jesus comes along, he says, so graciously. 00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:03.279 Yeah, I know. 00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:06.960 I know, there's a lot. 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:18.079 There's a lot of sadness and sin and junk that other people do to you and you do to other people, and things that happen in a broken world, and in broken people, and broken relationships, broken families. 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:18.799 And you know what? 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:20.000 You should mourn. 00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:26.319 Some things are big, some things are little, it's a sad thing, it's the good thing that progresses, and you should mourn it. 00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:29.680 Because then you'll be comforted. 00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:33.920 The space will be created for healing to come in. 00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:53.920 So last year I was at my father-in-law's house uh and I was trying to make myself useful, and the car battery is dead, so I'm gonna be helpful to son-in-law, and so I go get a new battery and I'm putting it in the car, and I'm uh going to tighten down the bolt that you know puts the battery down in there. 00:17:54.079 --> 00:17:57.279 It's about all I can do with a car, I'll be honest, is replace the battery. 00:17:57.440 --> 00:18:02.400 And I slip and I just I just gash the inside of my thumb. 00:18:02.559 --> 00:18:12.319 Nasty blood flowing, and so I just I grab it, I run inside, I do what my dad taught me, and that is you get a bunch of paper towels, then you get duct tape. 00:18:12.480 --> 00:18:19.039 Like I don't know why my dad taught me that, and then you duct tape it, and that's that's the seal you need, is that duct tape. 00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:27.599 But I bleed through that, and it just keeps bleeding, and uh, we're out of town, so I don't want to go to a hospital and get stitches, you know, and all that kind of stuff. 00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:30.480 So I'm like, I there's gotta be something, right? 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:32.319 There's something that solves this. 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:34.079 Somebody's figured out this problem. 00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:42.240 Bad gash, you know, stubborn man doesn't want to go to hospital to get stitch, like two stitches. 00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:43.839 Like, what's the solution? 00:18:43.920 --> 00:18:50.079 So I uh, you know, put new paper towel, new duct tape, drive up to the CVS, bleed my way through the CVS. 00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:53.920 Turns out there is this wonderful product, product placement here. 00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:57.680 I'm no endorsement, I'm under no contract, wound seal. 00:18:58.319 --> 00:19:03.359 And it says powder, I find it on the shelf and I read it, I'm like, stops bleeding instantly. 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:04.400 This is me. 00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:07.200 Instantly, it's gonna stop the bleeding. 00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:08.960 And so I I I pay for it. 00:19:09.039 --> 00:19:20.400 I walk outside, it's this little powder, and I'm just bleeding, and I'm just I'm like over a trash can and bleeding, and I pour this powder down here, and I just watch, I mean, instantly stops bleeding. 00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:21.599 It's actually worked. 00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:22.319 It was amazing. 00:19:22.559 --> 00:19:25.920 Windseal, in case you're wondering, by the way. 00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:28.000 I mean, absolutely amazing. 00:19:28.079 --> 00:19:29.440 We've all seen products like this, right? 00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:31.519 Like cut a five-day cold into two days. 00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:35.440 I don't know about all that, but I can vouch for this, at least in my situation. 00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:36.880 But here's the thing. 00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:38.400 Here's the thing. 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:41.680 I needed to bleed at first, right? 00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:50.079 I needed what whatever else got in there, you know, like when it got cut, the blood, the blood needed to like pour out and like push out all the impurities. 00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:51.839 Like I needed to bleed. 00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:55.279 Um sometimes, sometimes you need to bleed. 00:19:56.880 --> 00:20:02.160 And sometimes you need to mourn, sometimes you need to grieve, sometimes it, sometimes that it just needs to come out. 00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:05.440 And Jesus is saying, lucky, lucky if you mourn. 00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:08.480 Surprisingly, right? 00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:12.640 Surprises us all, surprisingly, in that process. 00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:21.039 Maybe not later this afternoon or later this week or like by the end of the summer, maybe it's in two weeks or two months or two decades. 00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:21.839 I don't know. 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:28.480 The timeline here is not linear, there's no equation, but in it there is comfort. 00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:33.920 And then in Lamentations we get this. 00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:37.519 Later on, this guy's been just lamenting, letting it rip. 00:20:37.599 --> 00:20:44.160 And then he says in chapter 3, 21 and 23, but this I call to mind. 00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:48.240 And so I think we have to do that when we're grieving and mourning. 00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:50.559 We have to call truth to mind. 00:20:51.039 --> 00:20:52.480 And therefore I have hope. 00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:57.680 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. 00:20:57.759 --> 00:20:58.960 They are new every morning. 00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:00.640 Great is your faithfulness. 00:21:01.039 --> 00:21:04.559 So he's saying this in his grieving, he is saying this. 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:06.640 He's calling it to mind. 00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:15.200 We've we've had two suicides, a part of our lives since we've started this church. 00:21:15.759 --> 00:21:17.279 I've actually mentioned this a good bit. 00:21:17.519 --> 00:21:21.440 And I think I mention it because I don't want to not mention it, I don't want to not mention it. 00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:25.759 Like that's not something to brush under the rug and pretend like never it happened. 00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:29.359 One was a part of our church and one was just a very, very close friend of ours. 00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:34.160 Last night we actually sat around, we Christy and I talked about her for a while. 00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:36.400 And we miss our friends. 00:21:36.720 --> 00:21:37.599 We grieve them. 00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:44.160 I think about I think about them often, not every day, not all day, but a good bit. 00:21:44.960 --> 00:21:47.039 I'm not done grieving them. 00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:49.119 Right? 00:21:49.680 --> 00:21:51.519 Some days I'm a little angry. 00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:54.160 Uh some days I'm just sad. 00:21:54.480 --> 00:21:56.079 Some days I'm just confused. 00:21:56.960 --> 00:22:05.039 Uh I don't I don't I don't I'm not as like Grieving and sad as I was a year ago or two years ago. 00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:13.039 I don't know if there's an end to it where I won't be angry at certain times. 00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:16.400 Because you see their children. 00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:19.920 And you go, how couldn't all these questions start back up? 00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:22.240 It's just I'm grieving. 00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:23.920 I have permission to grieve. 00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:26.960 You have permission to grieve over whatever it is. 00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:28.000 You have permission to grieve. 00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:30.079 You're free to grieve. 00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:31.839 You know what? 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:35.119 I also grieve the fact that my dryer wasn't working. 00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:36.480 Sounds silly. 00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:38.799 I didn't like it. 00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:44.720 I had to figure out like a two or three hour time period where I was going to work on this stupid dryer. 00:22:44.960 --> 00:22:46.799 I don't want to work on a dryer. 00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:48.559 You don't want to work on a dryer. 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:52.240 Like nobody wants to spend their like after work, like you've been working all day. 00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:54.400 Like, I can't wait to get home and work on the dryer. 00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:58.160 Nobody wants to You know, so there's like some frustration there. 00:22:58.240 --> 00:22:58.640 You know what? 00:22:58.720 --> 00:23:00.559 I also have bony shoulders. 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:04.000 I've had bony shoulders my entire life. 00:23:05.440 --> 00:23:07.200 There's some mourning there. 00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:09.200 Right? 00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:16.799 And it's not to say, it's not to say we should obsess over little things or big things. 00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:19.440 It's just to say they're real. 00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:22.079 They're there. 00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:24.880 To pretend like they're not doesn't do anything. 00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:29.119 And we go through them. 00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:31.039 We process through them. 00:23:31.200 --> 00:23:38.400 And we live in the grace of Jesus that gives us space to do that. 00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:41.839 And what I love about the Lamentations is they're voicing it to God. 00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:44.160 They're dealing with it with God. 00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:49.200 They're not escaping from God, they're voicing it to Him. 00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:55.440 And in that there's space being created for God to come into it and to heal, to comfort. 00:23:55.599 --> 00:24:01.200 That word comfort, this word is the idea of God coming alongside to give strength. 00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:03.440 So the strength comes from outside. 00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:08.640 So in the grieving, in the mourning, what we recognize is we're not that strong. 00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:11.279 We're not that strong. 00:24:11.519 --> 00:24:16.640 And we need strength to come alongside us from outside of us. 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:27.920 And in Jesus, we're given this great respite, this place where we come to grieve as long or short as we need to, as often or as frequent as we need to. 00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:40.720 And our ability to be healed by next Sunday or Wednesday or next year is not a reflection about how secure you are with God or how spiritual you are. 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:44.960 See, all of that, this is where the respite is. 00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:47.440 All of that has already been settled. 00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:52.799 Because it's not on your work to have your act totally together, to be perfectly healed. 00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:58.160 Because Jesus took all your imperfections, all your doubt, all your confusion, all your anger. 00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:05.359 He took all sin on the cross, and he takes his perfect righteousness. 00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:14.000 All that you should be and I should be, all the ways that we should be able to get our lives perfectly together and react perfectly to every circumstance. 00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:19.119 He took all of his righteousness and he deemed it to you. 00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:22.079 He put it on you forever. 00:25:22.960 --> 00:25:30.319 So your identity as his child, as righteous, is secure and forever. 00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:36.400 So, my brothers and sisters, be at peace in the space God gives you to not always have it all together. 00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:39.039 May you mourn all that needs to be mourned. 00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:49.920 May your eyes be wide open to the world and to your own heart, that you might know God's great grace and security, which He extends to you in the person of Jesus. 00:25:50.079 --> 00:25:50.960 Let's pray together. 00:25:54.720 --> 00:26:04.160 God, thank you that you do not send us down a path of control or escape, but you walk with us as we try to do it that way. 00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:10.960 And that is our sin, to self-save by control and by escaping. 00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:13.519 And for that we are sorry. 00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:19.279 God, we even acknowledge that sometimes a lot of our anger within mourning is sin. 00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:23.200 And for that we acknowledge and ask for forgiveness. 00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:26.480 But we're still angry, so we still voice it. 00:26:27.359 --> 00:26:31.279 And we need a lot of grace from you when it comes to mourning. 00:26:31.839 --> 00:26:35.599 Because we don't understand all things and we don't have your sovereign knowledge. 00:26:35.839 --> 00:26:39.839 We are your creatures in this world, in a broken world. 00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:47.599 And so there are people here this morning who need to mourn things. 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.759 That life has not turned out the way they thought it would. 00:26:55.680 --> 00:27:00.079 That things have been done to them or around them. 00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:01.680 They've seen things. 00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:06.559 They need to be angry for a season. 00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:08.880 They need to voice it to you. 00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:10.880 They need to be sad for a season. 00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:27.839 God, I pray that this grace that you give, blessed are those who mourn, would create great space in our hearts, and we would not fill it with control or with escape, but we would go to you. 00:27:28.640 --> 00:27:38.160 And in our inability to understand all things, we would at least be open-handed to say, you are still steadfast. 00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:40.559 You are still faithful. 00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:41.519 I don't get it. 00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:43.920 I don't get it right now, but you are. 00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:51.599 And would we receive healing and comfort when we begin to let go of our control? 00:27:53.359 --> 00:28:06.720 God, we thank you for the gift of Jesus, his words, and the path that he has provided for us, where we do not have to pretend we're something we're not, but we can come right as we are. 00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:18.640 And we can look to the cross to know that all we should be, and we are not, has been put upon him. 00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:25.359 And we are secure as your children based on his work for us. 00:28:25.839 --> 00:28:27.200 In Jesus' name we pray. 00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:27.920 Amen.