WEBVTT 00:00:00.560 --> 00:00:01.199 Morning. 00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:02.959 Morning. 00:00:03.040 --> 00:00:03.759 How are y'all? 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:04.480 Doing well? 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:04.799 Good. 00:00:04.959 --> 00:00:05.200 Good. 00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:05.839 You're awake. 00:00:05.919 --> 00:00:06.400 Good to see you. 00:00:06.559 --> 00:00:07.120 Glad you're here. 00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:10.880 So we've been going through the book of Exodus. 00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:14.960 If you've been with us, if you've been with us the last few months, that's what we've been doing. 00:00:15.119 --> 00:00:20.480 And so in the book of Exodus, eventually you get to this list of rules, these Ten Commandments. 00:00:20.559 --> 00:00:22.640 So we've been going through the Ten Commandments. 00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:35.119 And what we've been saying, if you've been with us, you remember, but I'll review it, is that these commandments guide us, they guide our society, they give us boundaries, they give us guardrails of what our society should look like. 00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:39.439 They give us a it's a guide for what our behavior should look like. 00:00:39.679 --> 00:00:42.079 And at the same time, they guide us, they crush us, don't they? 00:00:42.159 --> 00:00:43.039 They absolutely crush us. 00:00:43.119 --> 00:00:45.840 And that's what we'll be seeing with each commandment. 00:00:46.079 --> 00:00:54.479 Is uh you can even go into it thinking uh you think you got a handle on this one, and by the end of really diving into it, you realize you don't. 00:00:54.640 --> 00:01:03.679 And it crushes me and it crushes you, and because it does that, it then does the next thing, and that is it points us, it sends us on. 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:05.280 That we can't use law. 00:01:05.439 --> 00:01:07.519 So that's what the Ten Commandments are is law. 00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:09.840 It's uh a standard of what is right. 00:01:09.920 --> 00:01:20.319 So we can't use law, any law, a standard of what is right morally, or maybe even a standard or a law in the world, a standard of what you should be or you want to be. 00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:26.959 Um and using that as a as a life philosophy is going to be a life of exhaustion. 00:01:27.040 --> 00:01:30.719 Um, but letting it send you on to go, okay, it crushes me. 00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:36.079 I need something outside of myself, I need the grace of God to be the place in which I am rooted and rested. 00:01:36.560 --> 00:01:38.640 There, there you can have life. 00:01:38.719 --> 00:01:41.439 So we get to Exodus 20, verse 16. 00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:47.840 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 00:01:48.319 --> 00:01:49.359 Don't lie. 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:50.079 Right? 00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:52.000 Pretty clear command. 00:01:52.079 --> 00:01:54.239 Uh just don't lie. 00:01:54.480 --> 00:02:02.239 And it's just so easy to think about this and go, you know, Bernie Madoff, Mark McGuire, Wall Street guys, politicians, just don't lie. 00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:07.200 If you just didn't lie, if you just told us the truth, everything would be easier. 00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:09.680 It would be so much better. 00:02:11.759 --> 00:02:13.520 But this is also for us. 00:02:13.919 --> 00:02:16.319 It's also for you, it's also for me. 00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:23.520 Um this is what is good and right, this is the way we should guide our speech, our families, our relationships, our work life. 00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:26.719 Uh when we don't, things break down. 00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:29.120 And yet lies are all around us, aren't they? 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:39.680 Uh we see them in magazines, we see them in movies, we read them, we hear them, we tell them, we receive them, we speak them to each other, we speak them to ourselves, they're everywhere. 00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:49.840 So it's not, it's not just it's not just that horrible world out there, and if we could only kind of wall up, like wall off from all of them and like secular world, and then we would be okay. 00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:52.080 No, we would just lie to each other is what we would do. 00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:54.879 And even doing that would be a lie of some sort. 00:02:55.120 --> 00:03:02.159 So to lie is to deceive someone, to purposefully mislead someone down a false path. 00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:04.639 And there isn't such thing as truth. 00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:10.960 Like, like my truth uh can't be uh your falsehood, and your truth can't be my falsehood. 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:20.240 Even to say that that would be uh a true way of life or is a truth statement which is objective, which is self-defeating, I'll let you go chew on that later. 00:03:20.319 --> 00:03:22.400 That's not the point of this sermon. 00:03:22.560 --> 00:03:28.639 But there is a such thing as truth, so there is a such thing as a lie, something that's just not true. 00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:35.680 And so I was studying this this week and just kind of getting into lying, kind of like the psychology of lying and how it works out in our lives. 00:03:35.759 --> 00:03:49.840 Um, it really started to uh cut deeply because as you get into it, um what you see is it's not just how horrible other people are, you just, it's a sobering view of yourself. 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:55.120 Um and so there's gonna be some sobering uh some sobering views of ourselves this morning. 00:03:55.280 --> 00:04:18.560 I got some good research to look at, I got some good quotes for us to look at, all of it to expand our thinking on lying, which I think eventually after you're crushed, and I'll make sure I crush you thoroughly here for a little bit, after I crush you thoroughly, there will be relief because hopefully we'll be honest about the fact that we are on an ongoing basis lying to ourselves and to other people on some level. 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:19.600 And that would be good. 00:04:19.759 --> 00:04:23.040 To get to a place of honesty about it would be good because then we could do something about it. 00:04:23.519 --> 00:04:24.240 I have four points. 00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:28.560 If you're a note taker or you like organization, there's four points to work our way through this. 00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:33.680 The first is this lying is incredibly convenient. 00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:43.199 I mean, it's just sometimes it's just so convenient to keep kind of the social situation moving, just to keep it moving a little bit, right? 00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:46.959 I mean, just to just to make it not awkward, just for it not to slow down. 00:04:47.279 --> 00:05:06.959 I was in a conversation with a friend, and this was probably a month ago, and it stuck out so much because I lied so thoroughly in this conversation, as he was talking to me, and he was assuming he assumed I knew about something that was going on with some other friends, and I had no idea what he was talking about. 00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:10.560 I think he saw it on my face a little bit, and he said, Well, you you knew about that, right? 00:05:10.720 --> 00:05:29.279 And I sort of like I just felt like I should know about it, and if I didn't know about it, like that I was sort of being left out on some level, and I just oh yeah, I know what you're talking about, you know, and like it was just so convenient just to keep the social situation moving. 00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:30.720 But it's wrong. 00:05:30.879 --> 00:05:40.000 Now, what's really perplexing about this, and this will really perplex us, and this is hard to wrestle through, is that sometimes a lie is a recommended way forward. 00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:40.480 Right? 00:05:40.560 --> 00:05:42.720 I mean, we get into the scriptures in Joshua 8. 00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:45.360 I mean, God actually commands deception. 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:48.480 In Exodus 1, we already read that at the beginning. 00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:53.279 We looked at the beginning of the book of Exodus, and in the Hebrew midwives, they lie to Pharaoh. 00:05:53.759 --> 00:05:57.839 And it actually says that they lied to Pharaoh out of fear of God. 00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:08.240 Now, this isn't the norm, and I don't pretend to be God to consider when we can lie and when we can't, but on some level, this is kind of interesting that there's an advisable lie. 00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:10.639 You're like, oh my gosh, I don't even know how to place that. 00:06:10.800 --> 00:06:25.360 Now, theologian Charles Hodge said this: like, if you go out of town and you're like putting timers or you're like turning your light on, certain lights on, you're trying to deceive robbers. 00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:26.399 Do you understand that? 00:06:26.480 --> 00:06:29.360 That that's what you're that's what you're doing. 00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:33.759 You are deceiving robbers when you do that. 00:06:33.839 --> 00:06:35.439 Like, especially if you're using the timer. 00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:40.720 I mean, you are really going at like I was thinking about this, like I used to do the timer thing. 00:06:40.800 --> 00:06:46.959 I I even did when we lived in Grant Park, um, like I talked about last week, you know, we had a little bit more theft there. 00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:49.600 And so I even had a radio I'd put on a timer. 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:52.800 I had the radio on the timer, I had some lights on timers. 00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:57.680 I mean, we were really lying to the robbers as much as possible. 00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:02.800 And Charles Hobb, theologian, he said that was an advisable lie. 00:07:03.519 --> 00:07:06.399 So there are advisable lies, that's kind of perplexing. 00:07:06.480 --> 00:07:16.639 Um, and if you have a problem with that, then I'm kind of wondering uh how you, as maybe a parent or maybe somebody who communicates with children, um, how you do around Christmas time. 00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:24.800 I'm also wondering if your wife gets cancer and she asks you if she's still beautiful. 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:35.680 And you your definition of beautiful is pretty expansive, and and you can you're thinking yes, like like you are a beautiful person, but she you know she's not asking you that. 00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:41.279 She's asking like if if her body's still beautiful, and you say yes. 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:59.279 Or like, what if you're a doctor and and somebody's in the last month of their life, and you know it's gonna be just horrific for this family, the amount of pain, and you say, We're gonna get through this and we're gonna make it, and it's not gonna be that bad. 00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:15.199 I'm pretty sure I was lied to several times this week when I got some waffle fries and a chicken sandwich from um a girl, and there's a counter, and I bought it, and then she said to me, I said, Thank you, and she said, My pleasure. 00:08:17.040 --> 00:08:20.639 And I'm going, no, I'm pretty sure you want to be at home watching Netflix. 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:29.040 I'm pretty sure, pretty sure this is not your pleasure, handing this over and saying that statement for the hundredth time today. 00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:31.279 Pretty sure that is a lie. 00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:33.360 So you can lie in more than one way, right? 00:08:33.519 --> 00:08:42.399 It has something to do with the good of the other person, has something to do with the situation, but here's the thing it's still a lie, and it's still wrong. 00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:45.120 And it still has an effect. 00:08:45.279 --> 00:08:53.519 And it's still really tricky because we have the ability to lie to ourselves, so it's a little bit of this like gateway drug on some level. 00:08:53.759 --> 00:08:58.799 Now, Robert Feldman, uh, he's a professor and interim, interim dean at the University of Massachusetts. 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:02.000 He wrote this book called The Liar in Your Life. 00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:07.919 And so he comments on all these social white lies that we just do all the time. 00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:10.799 Um, you know, like, no, I'd love to stay. 00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:13.519 It's closing time, I'd love to stay and help you out. 00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:15.039 I don't want to go home. 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:16.080 It's five o'clock. 00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:16.639 I don't want to. 00:09:17.039 --> 00:09:18.159 Oh, thanks for asking. 00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:21.440 Your screaming child doesn't bother me at all. 00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:22.399 Not at all. 00:09:22.559 --> 00:09:23.039 Love it. 00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:24.399 Sounds beautiful. 00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:32.720 So, in an interview on NPR's Talk of the Nation, we get this quote from him about these little white lies. 00:09:32.879 --> 00:09:35.840 He says this the little white lies do matter. 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:40.879 So, this is a researcher on lying and deception. 00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:42.559 The little white lies do matter. 00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:47.120 In part, it's because these lies can very easily lead to other lies and bigger lies. 00:09:47.279 --> 00:09:53.759 And the other thing is, it leads to a kind of lack of authenticity in our everyday life. 00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:56.080 We don't really know where we stand. 00:09:56.879 --> 00:10:07.279 We don't really ever get a good sense of who we are and what our strengths and weaknesses are as people if people are constantly not telling us the truth. 00:10:07.919 --> 00:10:14.879 So lying is just really convenient, but it's still a lie and it still has effects. 00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:18.799 Number two, lying makes us feel powerful. 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:22.960 So Poe Bronson, he writes about the work of Dr. 00:10:23.039 --> 00:10:23.919 Nancy Darling. 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:24.960 She's at Penn State. 00:10:25.039 --> 00:10:28.720 Another reason there's all these researchers on lying out there, you never know it until you get into it. 00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:29.519 And so Dr. 00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:40.320 Darling works at Penn State, and in a New York magazine article, Learning to Lie, she talks about all her research shows how much we start to lie about age two. 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:44.240 Age three is when we begin in on this. 00:10:44.399 --> 00:10:48.559 Like if you have a two-year-old or a three-year-old, it's not cute, by the way. 00:10:48.720 --> 00:10:50.320 It's lying, is what it is. 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:53.279 And they know, they do know what they're doing. 00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:57.759 Because they're doing it to avoid punishment or they're doing it to gain reward. 00:10:58.080 --> 00:11:00.320 It's still the same thing that we do now. 00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:04.480 And we and we lie to feel more powerful than somebody else. 00:11:04.639 --> 00:11:09.600 We can create a false reality and feel more powerful than somebody else. 00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:31.360 And I'm watching this work itself out with my girls, preschool and elementary school age, and then at the same time, I'm watching this play out like these stories and what how how they're interacting, and and how you know every once in a while we catch something, and or something with friendships on the playground, and you're watching this and you're like, this is like I I haven't really improved that much in 25 years. 00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:33.840 Like, I'm still doing this on some level. 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:37.279 I am personally still doing this on some level. 00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:38.240 Right? 00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:46.720 It it it's it still goes on, whether it's in the playground or classroom or the boardroom or the gym or in your family or your spouse or a friend or an acquaintance. 00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:53.360 It it's it can be it can be like how the fish just gets a little bit bigger each time you tell the story. 00:11:53.840 --> 00:11:54.159 Right? 00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:56.399 You just embellish a little bit. 00:11:57.679 --> 00:12:07.279 If we jump back to Professor Feldman, his research shows that we're more likely to lie, this is very interesting, we're more likely to lie online than in person. 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:17.279 See, because online is we have this great liberty for identity formation and curation with the least amount of friction. 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:21.519 And this is really sad because this is what it means. 00:12:21.679 --> 00:12:29.919 It means if we're left to ourselves, to the easiest scenario, we will lie to make ourselves look better. 00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:33.840 And we will lie to m to feel better about ourselves. 00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:39.200 And that's point number three is we lie because we want to impress someone. 00:12:41.200 --> 00:12:49.519 So another researcher out of Cornell University, Jeffrey Hancock, he found out that we lie a lot, but we don't lie at the same rate. 00:12:49.679 --> 00:12:53.519 So um depending on the medium, uh we lie differently. 00:12:53.759 --> 00:13:11.759 So uh so phone, I am, email, Facebook, all these different avenues, uh i the there's a change in the amount of deception occurs relative to the face-to-face interaction or relative to uh if it's um if it's like recorded. 00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:15.440 Like email we don't like to lie over email, it turns out. 00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:18.240 We we don't like to lie face to face. 00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:22.159 So we don't like to lie anywhere where it's possible we get caught. 00:13:22.320 --> 00:13:29.759 Now we will lie a lot more frequently over the phone and on IM or text. 00:13:30.879 --> 00:13:33.200 We just feel like we can get away with it. 00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:42.559 See, we are so insecure, we use lying to shore up our inner sense of inadequacy when we think we can get away with it. 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:49.200 We lie we lie to appear put together and competent, we lie to be likable or maintain an image. 00:13:49.440 --> 00:13:49.679 Dr. 00:13:49.759 --> 00:13:52.639 Feldman says this, the second quote, which is in your handout. 00:13:52.879 --> 00:14:01.679 If we consider self-presentation as a creative process, we can see how it can easily slide into deception. 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:11.440 Every interaction involves decisions about which attributes to emphasize and which to minimize, which impulses to follow and which to ignore. 00:14:11.679 --> 00:14:13.360 So we're all doing this all the time. 00:14:13.600 --> 00:14:18.799 At some point, we may not be choosing among our actual traits and our sincere reactions. 00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:26.799 We may simply fabricate the traits and reactions to the social situation calls for, or that we think it calls for. 00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:28.960 In other words, we might lie. 00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:32.159 I mean, this is the Eden story, right? 00:14:32.639 --> 00:14:34.159 Beginning of Genesis. 00:14:34.480 --> 00:14:46.000 Adam and Eve don't eat of the tree in the middle of the garden, and they eat of the tree in the middle of the garden, and God comes back into the garden, and what is their reaction? 00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:47.600 Is to deceive him. 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:48.879 They hide. 00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:50.879 He finds them, right? 00:14:51.039 --> 00:14:54.879 Which is the great beginning for us to see grace toward us. 00:14:55.039 --> 00:14:56.720 He finds them, and what do they do? 00:14:56.879 --> 00:14:58.000 They they lie. 00:14:58.399 --> 00:14:59.120 They lie. 00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:07.519 And they've discovered this power of creating a false reality, even though it's in front of the very one who knows all realities and that they're already lying. 00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:10.639 Years ago, I was I was skiing. 00:15:10.720 --> 00:15:35.600 Me and a group of friends, we had we had ended up in a in a house, and I don't even know who owned the house as a friend of a friend, and we ended up getting some bunk beds in this house down in the basement, but it was a free place to stay, and so we were skiing there, and uh one afternoon we were skiing and it was mid-afternoon, and I was tired, it was probably 2 30 or 3, and it was at the top of the mountain, and I just wanted to get down, I was done for the day, and uh a big snowstorm came through. 00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:55.279 Uh and it wasn't like horrible, you're gonna die or anything like that, but it was it was enough where I my you know visibility was maybe six feet out or so, and um and you know if you just skied down through you're gonna get through it because I was up high, you're gonna get through it, you're gonna be fine, and you know, there's no drop-offs, nothing dangerous here. 00:15:55.440 --> 00:16:03.600 But you had to get through it, but but you I couldn't tell the difference between the ground and like where the ground ended and the sky began. 00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:07.679 And I'm I have a real fragile system going on with my eyes and my brain. 00:16:08.159 --> 00:16:25.679 I got nauseous right away that I couldn't tell the difference between this, and it was like the inability of my eyes and my brain to distinguish the difference between what was real and what was false was literally making me sick as I move forward through it. 00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:28.320 This is that's our experience. 00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:35.679 When you can't distinguish between what is true and what is false, it literally makes you sick. 00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:48.080 It literally creates in you a narrative and a lens of seeing yourself and the world and other people that is incredibly, incredibly nauseating and sick and difficult. 00:16:48.159 --> 00:16:50.639 And this leads us to point number four. 00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:53.679 And that's that lies are not just words. 00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:57.759 Lies are stories we take into our existence. 00:16:58.799 --> 00:17:04.559 When I was young, I know you won't believe this, but I was incredibly scrawny. 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:06.480 Hard to believe. 00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:11.680 Uh and I I heard I just I heard all the jokes. 00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:20.240 You know, and some people were mean with them, uh, and and some people thought older people thought they were being endearing. 00:17:20.720 --> 00:17:22.000 And it wasn't endearing. 00:17:22.079 --> 00:17:23.599 It was it was hurtful. 00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:26.319 You know, we're gonna put some meat on your bones. 00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:28.079 I mean, I heard all of it. 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:33.200 If you turn sideways, you're gonna disappear, you know, and I heard the names, I heard all of it. 00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:39.839 And so I learned to cope, and how I learned to cope was if you hit me once, I'm gonna hit you about five times. 00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:43.119 And so I'm gonna be ready at any point. 00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:48.559 You know, verbally, I will be ready at any point. 00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:55.119 I will take you down, and you will feel ashamed that you ever came near me. 00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:58.079 And I got very, very good at that. 00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:00.480 I became very funny because of that. 00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:05.200 And then, as well, if you were gonna doubt my abilities, I was gonna make sure that that was never challenged. 00:18:05.279 --> 00:18:14.480 And so if we ever step foot on a basketball court, I was gonna make sure that I could take care of you, and if we step foot into a classroom, I was gonna make sure I could take care of you as well. 00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:23.039 And all of this, it was it sort of created this lie inside of me, which was creating a narrative, and that was this, and it's still something I struggle with today. 00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:28.160 And it's that I'm okay as long as I achieve the next thing. 00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:35.440 And those people, those people that said those things, they will affirm me. 00:18:37.200 --> 00:18:40.000 And see, a process forms, doesn't it? 00:18:40.079 --> 00:18:40.640 You know this. 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:44.720 I don't know what lie you've heard or what you're hearing, but a process forms. 00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:47.119 And I put it in the handout so you could see it. 00:18:47.359 --> 00:19:02.960 A lie is taken in, a false narrative to live with is accepted, and a toxic, a toxic perspective to see yourself and people and the world is formed. 00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:06.799 This is this is how lies work. 00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:09.200 This is how they embed themselves. 00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:14.240 They're not just words, they're stories that we begin to exist with. 00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:22.640 Uh I read this this week uh in a Brene Brown book, Rising Strong Social Scientist, my my favorite social scientist, apparently. 00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:24.000 She's quite popular right now. 00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:28.079 Here's a great uh paragraph from her about lying to ourselves. 00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:30.000 She calls it conspiracy thinking. 00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:36.160 Conspiracy thinking is all about fear-based self-protection and our intolerance for uncertainty. 00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:41.599 When we depend on self-protecting narratives often enough, they become our default stories. 00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:46.720 And we must not forget that storytelling is a powerful integration tool. 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:54.799 We start weaving these hidden false stories into our lives, and they eventually distort who we are and how we relate to others. 00:19:55.039 --> 00:20:06.319 When unconscious storytelling becomes our default, we often keep tripping over the same issue, staying down when we fall, and having different versions of the same problems in our relationships. 00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:09.519 We've got the story on repeat. 00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:22.799 See, the lie is toxic, it creates a false story, a false narrative, and it creates a false lens of which you see yourself, you see your spouse, you see your friend, you see your children, you see your neighbor, you see your co-workers. 00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:25.359 And then out of that you'll lie. 00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:27.599 You see that? 00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:31.440 You say you believe a lie, and out of believing a lie, you will tell a lie. 00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:32.880 Isn't that what happened in the garden? 00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:34.000 Isn't that interesting? 00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:35.119 Right? 00:20:35.279 --> 00:20:42.400 Eve is told a lie, she acts on that lie, and then out of that she goes and begins to lie. 00:20:43.200 --> 00:20:45.519 And like I said, I don't know what lie you hear, right? 00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:48.400 I mean, there's it can be a million different versions. 00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:51.839 It can be that you just didn't end up as beautiful as you thought you were gonna be. 00:20:52.000 --> 00:21:00.960 Or you're not as beautiful as you once were, or you're just not as successful as you thought you were gonna be, or you should be more successful than you actually are. 00:21:01.279 --> 00:21:05.519 You should be over that mistake by now, or that grief by now. 00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:11.279 Or maybe you're like me, and it's just that lie that you just need something else. 00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:15.599 At the Golden Globes this year, Jim Carrey was it was announced. 00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:22.240 Uh he was welcomed out, and they they said, uh two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey. 00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:27.200 And apparently that just sort of hit him funny because he walks out and he kind of ad-libs his speech. 00:21:27.359 --> 00:21:31.839 And it was something like, you know, I am two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey. 00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:35.359 When I wake up in the morning, I am two-time Golden Globe winner of Jim Carrey. 00:21:35.519 --> 00:21:39.039 When I have lunch, I'm two-time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey. 00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:41.920 When I go to sleep at night, I am two-time Golden Globe. 00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:42.880 He kind of goes on and on. 00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:51.279 And one day, my greatest dream of all is that someday I might be three time Golden Globe winner Jim Carrey. 00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:57.200 Then I will I will receive everything that I thought I needed and I will discover it's not enough. 00:21:57.359 --> 00:21:59.039 And like everybody, it's something like that. 00:21:59.119 --> 00:22:04.240 I just kind of Ran on there, but everybody, you know, died laughing because what does everybody know? 00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:06.559 That is completely true. 00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:20.559 That it's a lie to think that we have to get another trophy and that that next trophy will do it is a lie that creates a narrative, that creates a perspective, and out of that we will go and lie as well. 00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:28.480 So, what this means is it means that we we have to constantly sort through truth and falsehood. 00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:33.599 And so I think it just sort of looks like this because like our lives are just filled with thoughts. 00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:47.440 So we're receiving a thought, we're reading a magazine, a book, we're watching a show, we're in a conversation, somebody says something, a parent says something to us, we hear something at work, or we're just we're talking, we you know, the person who talks to you the most is yourself, or you're just talking to yourself. 00:22:47.599 --> 00:23:05.039 And so there's all these thoughts, and you're constantly having to go, falsehood, truth, falsehood, falsehood, truth, falsehood. 00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:12.319 Truth, truth, falsehood, truth. 00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:14.480 And you go through your day, don't you? 00:23:14.880 --> 00:23:21.680 That that that's that's it's the practice of sorting, it's the practice of discernment. 00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:24.319 And it's incredibly tiring. 00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:26.720 I mean, how tiring is that? 00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:29.839 I mean, it's incredibly, but it's all tiring. 00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:32.799 It's tiring to not do that. 00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:46.640 To not do that, and to just sort of arbitrarily receive the information taking in, and then receiving some wise as truth, and letting it create a narrative and letting it create a lens, that's incredibly exhausting to your life. 00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:47.920 It's all tiring. 00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:58.960 At least the practice of sorting, the practice of discernment, at least that, and going to the scriptures and wise friends and asking the Spirit to reveal stuff to you, at least that is a good tiring. 00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:03.839 At least that is putting you toward the way of truth. 00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:10.160 So a better process can be formed, and this is in your handout, that truth is taken in. 00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:23.839 Or a lie is called out, which leads to a life-giving narrative to live with, which is accepted, which leads to a healthy perspective to see yourself, people, and the world that is formed. 00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:29.119 Now, we're not good at telling the truth. 00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:31.279 I mean, that's what all this has been about. 00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:34.400 That we're just not good at not lying. 00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:59.839 And when we lie, what it shows us is it shows us that we still really believe that the law can make us happy, that the law can make us right with God, that living up to a particular set of moral standards or living up to a certain set of standards of this world, if only I can get here, if only I can get there, if only I can get that, then I'll be okay, then everything will be alright with God, then everything will be okay with myself, then everything's gonna be okay. 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.880 And it's the way of the law versus the way of God's grace to us to say, I'm not perfect. 00:25:07.599 --> 00:25:16.880 I do hide, I do lie, and that the way forward is not gonna be me living up perfectly to all of this. 00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:21.759 It's me admitting that I fall short of this, and I need help. 00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:24.400 I need outside help. 00:25:24.720 --> 00:25:26.880 We need help to know what is true and what is not. 00:25:27.039 --> 00:25:31.599 I mean, we need to go to the Lord constantly in this process of sorting and discernment. 00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:39.039 Yeah, I grew up in a culture where it's talking constantly about, you know, have your quiet time every day, have your quiet time every day. 00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:45.359 And in some regard, that created a certain legalism within me, but but there's there's a really good thing to that, and it's called this. 00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:49.200 Are you constantly putting truth into your life? 00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:49.680 Right? 00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.720 Are you letting the scriptures speak to you? 00:25:52.799 --> 00:25:55.440 You're letting truth speak to you. 00:25:57.279 --> 00:26:02.000 And that we're letting that get into us and we're resting in that. 00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:03.359 So we need help. 00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:04.079 We need help. 00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:05.680 We need help to know what is true. 00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:09.839 We also need help being righteous because we're not good at not lying. 00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:25.039 And it's not going to come from our effort because the more we even try to not lie and try to be good ourselves, and in itself is its own kind of form of lying and living up to the law that you think you can do and you can't. 00:26:25.279 --> 00:26:29.440 And the law shows us we need a righteousness and security from outside of us. 00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:30.480 It points us. 00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:33.839 This is how, do you see, do you see how this points us to our need? 00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:34.799 All of this? 00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:42.640 The fact that we're lying at age two, the fact that we're still lying, and I've been a Christian for 25 years, I'm still lying. 00:26:44.799 --> 00:26:46.640 That I can't get myself any better. 00:26:46.720 --> 00:26:49.759 I need an outside source of righteousness. 00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:55.599 And this points us to Jesus, that He is the perfect truth teller. 00:26:56.880 --> 00:26:59.759 Not just my example, but my substitute. 00:27:01.440 --> 00:27:09.599 And He is the truth that we need for our lives, that we are provided for, accepted and loved. 00:27:09.839 --> 00:27:13.839 See, we need something more than this law or performance-oriented practice. 00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:21.920 We need something more so we can be honest about the lies we do tell ourselves, the lies we do believe, the lies that we do live within. 00:27:22.160 --> 00:27:33.920 And in this unconditional love, there's nothing more for you to do but for you to rest in what God did for you, and out of that comes great relief and transformation. 00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:42.559 So, my brothers and sisters, may you find yourself needing to lie less in order to feel in control or impressive or powerful. 00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:44.480 May you learn the great secret. 00:27:44.799 --> 00:27:47.200 You already have everything you need. 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:55.440 So be free in the grace of God, allow the truth to shine into the darkest places in your heart, and breathe deeply of his great love for you. 00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:56.640 Let's pray together. 00:28:00.640 --> 00:28:41.519 God, thank you that you put up with us, and that you have great grace and mercy to us, and that you are so patient toward us as we are so apt to believe things that are not true, to create stories for our lives that are not true, and then to go and lie, to be powerful, to be convenient, to impress someone, to justify ourselves before you, or to feel justified, or to be justified in front of somebody else, when the truth is we already have everything we need. 00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:50.480 That we could find contentment and rest in your son's work for us. 00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:52.160 Would you help us? 00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:54.000 Would you help us with that? 00:28:54.240 --> 00:28:56.160 It would change everything for us. 00:28:57.119 --> 00:29:02.400 Would you help us to go deeper into that great news and that great reality? 00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:07.519 That He is the great truth teller and the truth for our lives. 00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:18.240 God, we welcome your light to shine deeply into our hearts as there's lies that we tell ourselves, that are creating these lies that we tell somebody else. 00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:22.240 But would you help go into the root, into the heart? 00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:49.680 And as we feel the pain, would you help us to speak these lies, to write these, to tell someone, to process them so that we can call out the lie and live in a narrative that is laced with your grace, and that we might see ourselves as you see us and live in a way that you see us and see others in this world. 00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:52.240 We pray this is all in Jesus' name. 00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:53.039 Amen.