WEBVTT 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:03.439 So, first a quick review before we get to the seventh commandment. 00:00:03.759 --> 00:00:13.919 So, we've been going through the book of Exodus and eventually going through the book of Exodus, the Ten Commandments, which I think probably all of us have heard of, whether you're in church all the time or church is new to you. 00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:22.480 So the Ten Commandments, our first response, or at least a lot of our responses, definitely my response, is to get to the Ten Commandments and go, oh great, here we go. 00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:34.240 Because it's so easy to hear a list of rules, and the reaction is to see how clearly you fall short of this list of rules, and just to feel beaten down by the list of rules. 00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:46.000 And so what we've been saying, and what we've been seeing these past few weeks, is we've been seeing how the law, so the standard, so the law is the standard, what we should be and what we should do. 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:48.240 The law, it crushes us. 00:00:48.399 --> 00:00:50.719 It crushes us because we don't live up to it. 00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:58.399 So it crushes us, it guides us, it crushes us, and we have to let it send us on. 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:08.079 So it guides our behavior, what we should do, what we should be, and it crushes us because we're imperfect to it, and then we have to let it send us on to the grace of God. 00:01:08.159 --> 00:01:09.280 And that's what we've been saying. 00:01:09.439 --> 00:01:13.920 If we don't let it send us on, then we're what the New Testament talks about being under the law. 00:01:14.079 --> 00:01:15.519 And this is the exhaustion. 00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:27.840 Maybe you've read a book or you heard a friend talking about the Christian faith, or you you went to a particular church or event or something, and you just left, and you're like, oh my gosh, that just feels exhausting. 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:31.359 Like that way of Christian spirituality just seems exhausting. 00:01:31.519 --> 00:01:39.519 And most likely, not I can't guarantee it, most likely, that's the Christian faith disguised under the law. 00:01:39.680 --> 00:01:48.239 And what we've been saying when it comes to this Ten Commandments in Exodus 20, we see verses in what verses 1 and 2, how before we get into the commandments, there's the reminder. 00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:50.719 Remember what I did for you as this reminder. 00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:55.359 Then he's reminding the people of the saving, the rescuing that was done. 00:01:55.439 --> 00:01:57.760 Like, hey, remember I brought you out of Egypt. 00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:00.719 Remember, I have redeemed you, I have rescued you. 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:03.599 Now let's talk about these commandments. 00:02:03.840 --> 00:02:10.080 And what this means is huge for us because it means the grace of God precedes the law or the demand of God. 00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:11.120 And we've got to get that. 00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:22.639 That's a frame where we have to understand that the grace of God precedes the law of God because what it means is, is it means obedience or what you should do or should be or what the Christian faith and the life should be. 00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:28.000 It comes out of a response and out of gratitude for what God has already done for you. 00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:29.439 You're already secure. 00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:30.960 You're already rescued. 00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:33.039 In Jesus, he's everything you need to be. 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:35.520 There's nothing else to add. 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:39.120 Now, out of response comes life. 00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:41.759 All right, there's the review for you. 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:48.319 So this morning's a little bit, I maybe not a normal sermon in that there's no stories, no sex stories can be shared. 00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:49.120 Thank you very much. 00:02:49.199 --> 00:02:50.400 Um, no sex stories. 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:53.520 No illustrations, mind you, no illustrations this morning. 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:55.599 No puppets gonna happen this morning. 00:02:55.680 --> 00:02:58.400 I had puppets last week, no puppets this week. 00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:03.360 Um so I'm gonna lead you through uh some passages and also some different quotes. 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:06.080 Uh, there's a handout for you, but we're gonna work our way through that. 00:03:06.240 --> 00:03:07.840 It's sort of a thinking Sunday. 00:03:07.919 --> 00:03:15.120 You're gonna have to work with me, kind of think through some of this stuff, but I'm so incredibly excited to talk about this some more. 00:03:15.360 --> 00:03:28.639 I studied it this week, um, just to talk about adultery, but then to talk about lust and talk about sexuality, because I think what's so possible is for some of us, there could be incredible relief from shame. 00:03:29.360 --> 00:03:32.800 There could be incredible relief from an affair you had. 00:03:33.039 --> 00:03:36.479 It could be incredible relief from an addiction you had or have. 00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:48.800 There could be incredible relief of shame that you've put on your sexuality and on your sex that was put actually created out of like a legalistic belief years ago. 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:51.360 And it doesn't need to be there. 00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:54.960 There might be a conviction that is needed and it happens. 00:03:55.120 --> 00:03:57.680 So there's incredible possibilities for this morning. 00:03:57.759 --> 00:03:58.960 That's why I'm so excited about it. 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:01.439 So Exodus 20, verse 14. 00:04:01.520 --> 00:04:03.360 This is uh the seventh commandment. 00:04:03.680 --> 00:04:08.400 You shall not commit adultery. 00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:11.039 And I think we will all agree. 00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:12.159 Good rule. 00:04:12.400 --> 00:04:21.439 I mean, this is a good rule for families, this is a good rule in law for our children, this is a good rule for societies to be healthy. 00:04:21.519 --> 00:04:27.120 Uh I just, nobody can walk away from an affair and go, you know what, that was just a clean one. 00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:32.639 That was just a clean, healthy, emotionally healthy affair. 00:04:33.120 --> 00:04:37.120 Nobody was hurt, nobody felt rejected, the kids were good with it. 00:04:37.279 --> 00:04:38.720 They were so good with it. 00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:39.920 Nobody's saying that. 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:42.639 It doesn't, if they're saying it, they're not even, they're not even meaning it. 00:04:42.720 --> 00:04:43.360 They're lying. 00:04:43.519 --> 00:04:45.040 They're they're not meaning it. 00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:47.360 They don't even see it, they don't see what's going on. 00:04:47.439 --> 00:04:48.480 It doesn't happen. 00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:53.920 Now, maybe you can hear all of this and you just feel a rush from your past mistakes. 00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:56.000 I mean, that's very possible. 00:04:56.639 --> 00:04:57.839 And I know that's real. 00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:01.199 I mean, I hear this, I hear the stories, I know the stories. 00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:03.920 I I I I've heard stories of how it happens. 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:12.240 Now, maybe, maybe you're the flip side, and and you've always sat in incredible judgment and self-righteousness toward people who have affairs. 00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:15.040 You're just like, just keep your pants on. 00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:17.439 Just get your act together. 00:05:17.519 --> 00:05:28.000 And so before any of us settle into our shame or settle into our self-righteousness, we we've got to see what Jesus says about this because I think he levels all of us. 00:05:28.319 --> 00:05:31.439 In Matthew 5, 27 through 30, it's in your handout. 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:36.160 You have heard that it was said you shall not commit adultery, so there's the seventh commandment. 00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:46.560 But I say to you, so he's taking it somewhere else, but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:51.759 Now, I I don't think this principle of Jesus is saying is just for men toward women. 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:55.600 I think we can definitely apply it to a woman toward a man. 00:05:55.680 --> 00:06:00.000 And maybe a woman toward a man is not as physical and visual, perhaps it is. 00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:03.839 Maybe it's more like, oh, if I could only have his acceptance. 00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:07.759 I mean, maybe that's more how it feels and works its way out. 00:06:08.079 --> 00:06:08.720 29. 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:28.000 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away, for it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell, and if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away, for it is better that you lose one of your members than your whole body go into hell. 00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:31.279 So verse 29 and 30, pretty intense verses. 00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:37.120 Um, I don't think they're saying if you have an affair, or if you lust, you're going to hell. 00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:39.439 I mean, I don't think it's saying that at all. 00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:42.720 We would all be in really big trouble if that was true. 00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:45.360 And I have friends, I have Christian friends. 00:06:46.240 --> 00:06:50.399 I know lots of, I know lots of Christians, I actually know lots of Christians who have affairs. 00:06:50.560 --> 00:06:52.000 I've heard their stories. 00:06:52.160 --> 00:06:53.839 They're not good stories, mind you. 00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:59.040 They're really sad, destructive stories that they have to process out of. 00:06:59.199 --> 00:07:00.879 I don't think they're going to hell. 00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:03.600 They're not going to hell, not if they're Christians. 00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:07.759 But it's a commentary on the intensity of this issue. 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:14.240 And the amount of shame it can produce, the amount of destruction it can produce. 00:07:14.480 --> 00:07:16.720 And Jesus just levels us here. 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:20.399 He says, Oh, you think you're so you're so great, you're so self-righteous. 00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:23.839 Okay, hey, even if you've lusted, you're the same. 00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:25.360 You're the same. 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:28.000 And so Jesus takes it into the inner life. 00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:29.519 That's what he keeps doing for us. 00:07:29.600 --> 00:07:30.879 And this is point number one. 00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:37.759 Point number one is to understand adultery and lust, we have to go to the heart. 00:07:38.160 --> 00:07:45.199 We said it last week with murder and anger, and this week we're saying it with to understand adultery and lust, we have to go to the heart. 00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:54.800 Lust is the inner desire to have that person, to be with that person, and that person is not your spouse. 00:07:55.920 --> 00:07:57.120 Now, here's good news. 00:07:57.360 --> 00:07:58.959 This is really good news. 00:07:59.839 --> 00:08:03.600 Sexual urges are different than lust. 00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:14.560 And we we we have to get this and we've got to distinguish this because sexual urges are interested in sex, and you are a sexual being. 00:08:15.040 --> 00:08:17.279 You are created that way. 00:08:19.839 --> 00:08:23.920 Now, sexual urges are private and they're personal, but they're not they're not shameful. 00:08:24.399 --> 00:08:29.519 And you've got to distinguish and learn between lust and sexual urges. 00:08:29.920 --> 00:08:34.159 See, Adam and Eve were naked and they were together, and it was good. 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:38.639 And from the scriptures, we know that sex is good in the context of marriage. 00:08:38.879 --> 00:08:41.759 It's real good, really, really, really good. 00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:43.840 And God didn't have to create it this good. 00:08:43.919 --> 00:08:49.279 Like he could have created it about as exciting as loading the dishwasher, but for some reason he didn't. 00:08:49.440 --> 00:08:53.360 He wanted us to know something about the intensity of pleasure. 00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:59.200 Now, for some of you, your sex is as exciting as loading the dishwasher, and that's something to talk about, right? 00:08:59.360 --> 00:09:04.000 That's something that probably has something to do with attaching shame to sex. 00:09:05.440 --> 00:09:06.320 And that's wrong. 00:09:06.480 --> 00:09:12.080 Just as lust is wrong, attaching shame to sexuality or sex inside of marriage is wrong. 00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:13.279 Can I get an amen? 00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:15.279 Anybody want to amen that one? 00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:21.279 The Christian faith is incredibly pro-sex and pro-body and pro-pleasure. 00:09:21.440 --> 00:09:24.879 The Song of Solomon's entire book of love poetry. 00:09:25.120 --> 00:09:26.080 We're gonna read a little bit. 00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:27.200 It's gonna warm you up a little bit. 00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:28.720 I'm just I'm just warning you. 00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:33.840 Chapter 4, verses 5, 13, 15, and 16. 00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:36.159 Your breasts are like two fawns. 00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:37.519 I read this to Christy one time. 00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:38.480 It didn't work. 00:09:38.559 --> 00:09:39.360 It did not. 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:41.039 She just told me to leave. 00:09:42.639 --> 00:09:44.399 I'm kidding, sorry. 00:09:44.960 --> 00:09:46.000 Bad joke. 00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:50.879 Like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. 00:09:51.039 --> 00:09:54.559 Whew! You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride. 00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:58.399 You are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. 00:09:58.559 --> 00:10:03.679 You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. 00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:11.679 And the wife replies, Awake, north wind, and come, south wind, blow on my garden that its fragrance may spread everywhere. 00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:17.600 Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. 00:10:18.559 --> 00:10:19.200 Ooh. 00:10:19.679 --> 00:10:21.360 I mean, this is this is hot. 00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:25.919 This is biblical hot stuff. 00:10:26.320 --> 00:10:29.840 This is stuff you find in middle school, and you're like, have you seen this? 00:10:31.519 --> 00:10:34.080 Chapter 5, verses 10 through 16. 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:35.759 My beloved is radiant. 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:36.720 This is from the wife. 00:10:36.799 --> 00:10:40.480 My beloved is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among 10,000. 00:10:40.559 --> 00:11:03.039 His head is pure as gold, his hair is wavy and black as a raven, his eyes are like doves by the water's streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels, his cheeks are like beds of spices yielding perfume, his lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh, his arms are rods of gold set with topaz, his body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazule. 00:11:03.279 --> 00:11:17.679 His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold, his appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars, his mouth is is sweetness itself, he is all together lovely. 00:11:20.879 --> 00:11:25.519 I mean, she's giving her garden to him. 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:29.120 I mean, this is explicit sexuality. 00:11:31.279 --> 00:11:43.679 I mean, God clearly wants us to know and understand that to be sexual and to enjoy sex inside of the marriage covenant is to be as he created you to be. 00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:46.639 And this isn't dirty. 00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:48.879 Sexuality is not dirty. 00:11:49.039 --> 00:11:53.919 And even a sexual urge is not dirty, it is not shameful. 00:11:57.039 --> 00:11:59.600 Now, lust is sinful. 00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:03.200 And lust is not interested in the good of the other person. 00:12:03.519 --> 00:12:07.120 Lust is interested in what that person can give you. 00:12:07.279 --> 00:12:08.559 It is cheap. 00:12:10.320 --> 00:12:14.799 It is all about getting that acceptance or getting that body. 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:23.919 Here's how Carl Olsen, a former president of North Park Theological Seminary, I thought it was a great quote about lust and lusting for the other. 00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:25.919 I really love myself. 00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:29.600 See, it's it's just it's just selfishness, it's just greed. 00:12:29.759 --> 00:12:40.799 Um here's what he says the other becomes an instrument of my satisfaction, a bright plaything which finally grows shabby and unwanted. 00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:46.639 You see how lust is just a hard issue of selfishness and greed. 00:12:46.879 --> 00:12:52.000 It's just a monster that always has to be fed and is never happy. 00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:55.840 Many of us know this dark cycle. 00:12:56.480 --> 00:13:00.559 You think you can feed your lust to satisfy it, and it won't work. 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:05.519 And affairs don't work either for the same reason. 00:13:08.240 --> 00:13:10.720 So it's some boundaries I think are helpful. 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:14.159 I I have two sort of principles that have been helpful in my life. 00:13:14.240 --> 00:13:16.799 Uh I picked them up along the way, I didn't make them up. 00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:22.480 The two that have helped me, um, the first is you starve lust, you don't feed it. 00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:33.679 I mean, like if if you start to pick up on the thing that's kind of feeding your lust, you know, the imagery or the show or or whatever, you just just starve it. 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:35.600 Just go the other way on that one. 00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:37.360 Just don't feed it. 00:13:37.679 --> 00:13:39.440 Feeding it's feeding it's not gonna help. 00:13:39.519 --> 00:13:40.960 You starve it, you don't feed it. 00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:44.240 And number two is, and I stole this from Andy Stanley, it's so great. 00:13:44.559 --> 00:13:48.799 Set boundaries more conservatively than you actually believe. 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:51.679 I think he calls it maybe the principle of hedging or something. 00:13:51.759 --> 00:13:59.200 That that if the cliff is is over there, I'm gonna set a boundary like in terms of adultery and affairs. 00:13:59.279 --> 00:14:01.279 I'm setting a boundary way back here. 00:14:01.679 --> 00:14:10.080 Like in terms of emotional connection or physical connection or physical like space and who I'm with and where and how many people are around me. 00:14:10.320 --> 00:14:14.639 I'm setting a boundary way back here so that I don't get near the cliff. 00:14:14.799 --> 00:14:18.639 And I just want that boundary back here, more conservatively than I actually be. 00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:20.720 So I actually believe I could probably be over there. 00:14:20.879 --> 00:14:26.159 I actually believe I could be over there and be fine and never fall off the cliff, but I'm gonna set the boundary over here. 00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:28.559 And that's just a safe thing. 00:14:28.720 --> 00:14:31.600 So even then though, right? 00:14:31.759 --> 00:14:39.840 Even then, those rules won't help you unless you understand what creates a heart that would want to participate in those rules. 00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:49.120 And all that comes around this point number one, to understand adultery unless we have to go to the heart, which gets us to point number two, which is sort of long, so that's just a long sentence. 00:14:49.200 --> 00:14:50.720 I couldn't shorten it. 00:14:51.039 --> 00:14:56.080 As we go into the heart, we discover God is giving us something in our sexuality. 00:14:57.279 --> 00:15:01.440 And God is also telling us something about ourselves. 00:15:02.720 --> 00:15:14.799 So here whether you're here and you're single and you live in abstinence and restraint, you're maybe you're single, you're divorced and single, you're older and single, you're you're young and single, or maybe you're here and you're married, you're young, you're old. 00:15:14.960 --> 00:15:15.679 It doesn't matter. 00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:18.639 God is telling you something in your sexuality. 00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:26.159 Like in that sexual urge, if you don't let it turn into lust, in the sexual urge, God is actually telling you something. 00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:36.720 The Franciscan friar Richard Rohr, a great contemplative writer, um, he wrote this God's passion created ours. 00:15:36.879 --> 00:15:42.320 Our deep desiring is a relentless returning to that place where all things are one. 00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:46.559 If we are afraid of our sexuality, we are afraid of God. 00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:50.559 All right, these are like deep thought type stuff here. 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:51.679 Here he goes again. 00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:58.639 We seem to need to give ourselves to the other, or at least we are fascinated or attracted by it. 00:15:58.960 --> 00:16:06.000 God seemingly had to take all sorts of risks in order that we would not miss the one thing necessary. 00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:18.080 We had to be called and even driven out of ourselves by an almost insatiable appetite so that we could never presume that we were self-sufficient. 00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:30.159 It is so important that we know that we are incomplete, needy, and essentially social, that God had to create a life force within us that would not be silenced. 00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:35.039 See, your sexuality is telling you something about your neediness. 00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:40.159 God's telling us that you long to be accepted. 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:48.480 You long for relationship, you need and you long for a love outside of yourselves. 00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:57.679 And this is where it all comes together for us, whether it's sexual urges in a good moment or lust in a bad moment. 00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:06.640 But the reality that God created you as a sexual being, I mean, this is this is something that's very deep to the core of our inner selves. 00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:10.400 And it's and it's not as shallow as an appetite. 00:17:10.799 --> 00:17:14.720 In counterfeit gods, Tim Keller, he writes about how C.S. 00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:21.039 Lewis was writing in the 40s in response to the kind of academics in Britain who were saying, well, sex is just an appetite. 00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:22.559 That's all it is. 00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:25.200 Here's how Keller comments on all of this. 00:17:25.279 --> 00:17:28.720 He says, there is more sex available than ever before. 00:17:28.960 --> 00:17:34.160 Yet pornography, the equivalent of strip teas axe, is now a trillion-dollar industry. 00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:39.119 Sex and romantic love are therefore not just an appetite like food. 00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:42.559 They are far more meaningful to us than that. 00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:47.599 Evolutionary biologists explain that this is hardwired into our brains. 00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:56.000 Christians explain that our capacity for romantic love stems from our being in the image of God. 00:17:56.240 --> 00:17:59.279 Perhaps it can be said that both are true. 00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:00.400 C.S. 00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:08.799 Lewis is famous for saying, if I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, no experience can satisfy the desire. 00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:15.119 The most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. 00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:23.440 So if we go back to Exodus and think about these people, we think about these Hebrew people and then what unfolds throughout the Old Testament. 00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:30.160 Over time, the prophets in the Old Testament they begin to call these people out for their faithlessness, their fickleness. 00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:30.960 They're all over the place. 00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:42.400 Sometimes they're so, you know, toward God and they're following the law and they're faithful, and then in other moments they're just way off and they've rebelled and they're doing crazy stuff. 00:18:42.559 --> 00:18:45.680 I mean, does it sound familiar at all to anything? 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:51.200 I mean, and what the Old Testament prophets start, they start to use language like you're prostituting yourself. 00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:53.359 They start to use sexual language. 00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:59.839 They start to use language like you're the bride and you're going and prostituting yourself. 00:18:59.920 --> 00:19:04.160 I mean, we went through the book of Hosea a couple years ago, and this is the whole, this is the book of Hosea. 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:05.519 This is the imagery. 00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:20.640 It's the image of a people trying to save themselves, prostituting themselves, going to another lover to try to be loved when actually the only love that can satisfy and redeem and justify you is by the Creator God. 00:19:23.119 --> 00:19:26.480 So I read an article this week, and the quote just knocked me over. 00:19:26.559 --> 00:19:27.119 It's Dr. 00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:36.240 Esther Peller, who's a researcher and sexual therapist, and she was writing about, the quote is about how affairs actually happen. 00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:43.119 And she wrote this very often we don't go elsewhere because we are looking for another person. 00:19:43.519 --> 00:19:46.880 We go elsewhere because we are looking for another self. 00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:54.960 It isn't so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become. 00:19:57.119 --> 00:19:59.920 See, we're all looking for ourselves. 00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:07.759 And what sin is, is sin is us looking for ourselves outside of God and outside of his grace toward us. 00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:11.440 So I'm gonna be righteous on my own by my behavior. 00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:16.000 I'm gonna go justify myself by achievement, career, by what I look like. 00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:16.880 That's sin. 00:20:16.960 --> 00:20:18.079 That's what sin is. 00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:22.000 And when it comes to affairs, this is what we're doing. 00:20:22.319 --> 00:20:28.559 We're looking for ourselves somewhere else, and then what happens is you get there, and then you realize you're, oh, you're still you. 00:20:28.960 --> 00:20:30.160 You're still there. 00:20:32.799 --> 00:20:53.839 And so it becomes so easy that first we can actually try to find ourselves entirely inside of our marriage, and that doesn't work because you're using your marriage as your own God instead of God, and then you come into your marriage after that, and then you get disillusioned within your marriage, and then you go outside of your marriage and try it there, and you can see how you're just prostituting your heart away from the Lord. 00:20:55.599 --> 00:21:03.359 And it's because we're not understanding something about the heart, Paul Zal talks about in his book, Grace and Practice, is in your handout as well. 00:21:03.599 --> 00:21:08.240 Need fulfillment is a law that has no possible satisfaction. 00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:11.599 Human need is limitless on its own terms. 00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:16.400 It is a bottomless well, a pale with a hole in the bottom. 00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:18.559 Grace nullifies this. 00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:24.240 The need for personal fulfillment is not met in Christianity, it's destroyed. 00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:31.279 In Christianity, grace assumes a bottomless need on the part of every single man and woman. 00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:36.559 It is the self-serving expression of original sin or selfishness. 00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:42.720 This unfillable need is worse than it sounds, for there is a scorpion at the bottom of the bucket. 00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:50.079 The original sin of the unattainable need is made worse by sadism that bonds with it in practice. 00:21:50.240 --> 00:21:51.440 So here's what it's saying. 00:21:51.599 --> 00:21:53.039 You have a need, here's what we do. 00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:54.640 Have a need, drop a bucket. 00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:55.920 Have a need, drop a bucket. 00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:56.880 Have a need, drop a bucket. 00:21:57.440 --> 00:21:59.759 I mean, you can see the merit based way of this. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:06.079 I have a need, I need, I'm gonna drop a bucket over here, I'm gonna drop a bucket over there, I'm gonna drop a bucket over there, but there's never enough. 00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:11.680 There's never enough sex, there's never enough lust, there's never enough uh images, there's there's never enough. 00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:18.480 So you just keep dropping buckets, but the bucket has a hole in it, and not only that, there's a scorpion in the bucket as well. 00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:30.160 It just keeps going, and what grace says is it says, hey, I understand there it is bottomless for you, but I'm wiping away the whole system of you having to drop buckets. 00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:36.000 Like the whole idea of meriting your way into justification and fulfillment, I'm wiping it away. 00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:44.000 Because grace is unlimited love toward you, so you don't have to keep dropping buckets. 00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:51.519 So the Old Testament prophets they build this imagery for us of the prostitution of the people toward their loving God. 00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:58.319 And the most amazing thing happens as the New Testament unfolds, and it's this that God doesn't double down on the people. 00:23:00.480 --> 00:23:05.759 He doesn't increase the law to get faithfulness out of his bride. 00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:07.200 Right? 00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:08.720 He knew it wouldn't work. 00:23:09.039 --> 00:23:12.000 He knew if he just increased the law, that they're just gonna rebel all the more. 00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:15.359 Our sinful egos, they're just gonna respond that way. 00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:16.799 That's how we're gonna respond. 00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:18.640 So he doesn't increase the law. 00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:20.559 Instead, he does the unthinkable. 00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:25.359 And this is what the book of Hosea tells us, and it's what the person of Jesus shows us. 00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:28.640 He loves the lustful whore. 00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:32.000 He loves us. 00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:41.359 But whether it's adultery and affairs, I mean, or whether it's lust, he loves us in that. 00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:46.559 While we are still sinners, Christ died for us. 00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:59.920 Jesus' words on lust, they're telling us that our only hope for escape from the crushing law of get your act together or the law of fulfill all your needs is to find relief in a love given to you himself. 00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:11.440 And so the incarnate grace of God, Jesus Himself, He takes on all the shame of this area that is so filled with so much shame. 00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:19.200 And like I talked about, some of the shame resulting from actual sin, some of the shame getting put on sexuality that was never meant to be there. 00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:21.440 And he takes it all on. 00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:31.279 So we're free of the weight of shame and also free from the need to keep going back to those sources that are never, ever going to fulfill you. 00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:47.279 Only the outside gift of grace, the person and the work of Christ can relieve you from all of this self-justification and self-righteousness and escapism and need fulfillment that's in lust and affairs and in pornography. 00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:51.599 Only his redeeming love can rescue you. 00:24:51.839 --> 00:24:54.400 And what it does is it deems you perfect. 00:24:55.039 --> 00:24:57.359 And don't we need that when it comes to this? 00:24:57.680 --> 00:25:03.519 That you need to be deemed perfect and beloved even while you're not. 00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:08.960 So, my brothers and sisters, God loves you as is. 00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:11.039 He loves you. 00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:16.240 And in that relief, you can find the self you've been looking for the entire time. 00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:19.200 Who God created you to be his beloved child. 00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:20.319 Let's pray together. 00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:28.720 God, we thank you that you give us a great law. 00:25:30.559 --> 00:25:34.319 We need to hear the law. 00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:37.759 We need to hear that this is destruction. 00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:50.319 We need to hear that adultery and affairs and lust will ruin our families and will take great time to repair. 00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:51.920 We need to hear it. 00:25:53.119 --> 00:26:22.480 And God, we also need to hear that you are a God of restoration and grace that does not end, that comes into the worst of mistakes, and the worst of addictions, and the worst of uh relational despair, and you heal and you love and you deem us perfect, and you see us and regard us as your perfect children. 00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:43.839 And whether we sit here in judgment and self-righteousness, which we should repent of, or whether we sit here having had an affair and adultery, and we have such guilt, or whether we sit here with lust and an addiction to pornography, would you help us to see that we're just dropping buckets? 00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:55.920 Would you help us to see that only your grace, only the person in the work of Jesus, can wipe away that whole system of life. 00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:05.680 And would you help us to live in the truth and the grace that Jesus brings to us? 00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:13.440 We thank you for the work of Jesus that we can rest in his work and not ours. 00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:15.200 In Jesus' name we pray. 00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:15.839 Amen.