WEBVTT 00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:02.799 Uh if you don't have a seat, there there is a few up front. 00:00:02.879 --> 00:00:06.320 You're welcome to come up here and and there's some scattered in between. 00:00:06.480 --> 00:00:09.759 We could probably start at this point uh the scoot to the middle rule. 00:00:09.839 --> 00:00:13.679 We don't have to do it right now as I think we're good this morning, but maybe that's just a practice we can be. 00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:16.239 Do you know the scoot to the middle rule? 00:00:16.399 --> 00:00:24.960 Well, at least how we work it is please scoot to the middle, but if you're a big guy, the big guy rule overrides the scoot to the middle rule. 00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:31.280 And as if you're a big guy, you know you you you you just you're like, I want kind of a seat and a half, I just need some space. 00:00:31.359 --> 00:00:35.119 And so scoot to the middle rule, but if you're like, I'm big guy. 00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:37.759 Big guy overrides scoot to the middle rule. 00:00:37.840 --> 00:00:41.119 So that's how we're gonna move forward on crowded Sundays, just so you know. 00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:44.000 Alright, anyway, so we're going through the book of Exodus. 00:00:44.079 --> 00:00:48.159 Uh we've gotten unto the point, up to the point of the Ten Commandments. 00:00:48.320 --> 00:00:53.840 I'll be honest, what I've been saying as we've been going through this is I was not looking forward to the Ten Commandments. 00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:55.280 I mean, I'm I'm not a rule guy. 00:00:55.359 --> 00:00:57.280 I'm sort of the guy where it says no parking. 00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:00.399 I sort of kind of look at is really is it no parking? 00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:06.079 I mean, yeah, okay, maybe maybe in some aspects, but maybe I could possibly park here. 00:01:06.159 --> 00:01:11.920 And so Ten Commandments to me were something that uh great moral rules, but I don't know if I want to preach through it. 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:16.159 I just don't know how much excitement, personal excitement, I was gonna have for this. 00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:19.760 And the more I got into it, I'm just I'm loving it. 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:21.599 I am loving the Ten Commandments. 00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:24.319 It was a total strange surprise to me. 00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:30.079 And maybe uh you're sitting in judgment for me for feeling that way, or maybe you do feel that way, but that's how I have felt. 00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:34.480 And what we've seen as we've been looking into it is that the Ten Commandments take us somewhere. 00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:49.359 Every week, as we've looked at a commandment, we've looked at the commandment for what it says, for the moral that it says, which is good and holy and perfect and good for us, but we've also seen where it takes us, and it takes us somewhere where I think is the good news for us. 00:01:49.519 --> 00:02:11.840 And so what we've talked about is to catch you up if you haven't been here, is we said that we've all had these experiences where uh maybe you've been to a church or you've talked to a friend or a parent or you read a book, and and maybe it was in the context of spirituality or Christianity, and you left that conversation or that experience, and all you were thinking was is you were thinking, I don't like that. 00:02:12.080 --> 00:02:17.439 Like what that was just feels exhausting. 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:26.719 And you've probably had that moment where you've felt that, just felt the exhaustion of that form of Christianity. 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:34.560 And what we've talked about is that most of the time, not always, most of the time, that is Christianity under the law. 00:02:34.719 --> 00:02:38.960 And we've been talking about that the law is the standard of what we should be. 00:02:39.199 --> 00:02:45.680 Like that's what the law is, that's what the Ten Commandments are, and that's what the law of good and holy standards of what we should be is called. 00:02:45.840 --> 00:02:46.719 That's the law. 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:50.560 And the law, if you live under the law, it crushes us. 00:02:50.800 --> 00:03:02.479 So we have to let the law, while it gives us boundaries for life and it gives our society boundaries and it guides us for our behavior, at the same time we have to let it, like we've been talking about, send us on. 00:03:02.800 --> 00:03:22.960 And it sends us on to the grace of God, or else we live under the law and we feel that crushing burden, and you felt it, whether it be in a Christian, in a religious way, or maybe you've just felt the burden of the law in a secular way, and we feel it in terms of the crushing burden of achievement, or to look a certain way, and it just exhausts you. 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:27.680 So you can live under the law in religion, but you can also live under the law in the secular world. 00:03:27.919 --> 00:03:33.439 And either way, it's the crushing burden of a standard of trying to live up to it. 00:03:33.680 --> 00:03:36.400 And you have to let it send you on. 00:03:36.960 --> 00:03:40.000 And that's what we've been seeing over and over again. 00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:45.840 And so as we've been looking at these Ten Commandments, what we've said is you've got to remember verses 1 and 2 of Exodus 20. 00:03:46.159 --> 00:03:49.120 So verses 1 and 2 set up the Ten Commandments. 00:03:49.199 --> 00:03:59.360 And what they say is, and God spoke all these words, so he's about to speak these words, saying, I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 00:03:59.599 --> 00:04:06.000 So the context of these rules, of these commandments, the context is, I already saved you. 00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:08.560 Like you're already my beloved children. 00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:21.040 That's what he's telling these people, these Hebrew people, is he's saying, Hey, remember, I'm about to give you these commandments, but remember, your position as children of mine is already secured. 00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:23.040 It's already secured. 00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:32.240 And so what that means is it means that our obedience is always out of gratitude for what has been done, not for it. 00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:37.360 So we don't come into the Ten Commandments, or we don't come into something in the New Testament about how we should live as Christians. 00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:50.319 We don't come into that to perform into it as to get redemption or as to feel justified or as to feel justified as a human being or as a Christian, to like earn that or merit that position before God. 00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:59.120 We come into it grateful that all of that work has been done outside of us, which is what Christ on the cross is about, has been given to us. 00:04:59.279 --> 00:05:09.600 And so we come to the law not to perform unto it to receive justification, but to be grateful and to come into obedience of it out of that gratitude. 00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:11.120 So now we come to this fifth commandment. 00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:12.800 We've done one, two, three, and four. 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:14.079 Now we're on the fifth one. 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:16.800 This fifth one has a promise with it, which is kind of interesting. 00:05:16.959 --> 00:05:19.519 It's kind of a new thing within the commandments we haven't seen yet. 00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:30.319 And the promise is this the promise is that, hey, hey, as you do this, you will live in good conscience and you will live a healthier existence. 00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:33.360 Who doesn't want that, right? 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:34.480 I mean, I read that this week. 00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:36.000 I'm like, oh, who doesn't want that? 00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:37.600 Who doesn't want to live in good conscience? 00:05:37.680 --> 00:05:40.560 Who doesn't want to live a healthier existence? 00:05:40.720 --> 00:05:44.879 And that's the promise with this fifth commandment. 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:49.120 So Sam read it, but I'll reread it, Exodus 20, verse 12. 00:05:49.600 --> 00:05:56.800 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 00:05:57.519 --> 00:06:03.920 So two weeks ago, Christian and I we went to uh Scott's Antique Market, which comes in monthly to Atlanta to buy a few things. 00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:09.759 So for three years, uh we've lived in our house and in our bedroom, we have a fireplace in our bedrooms. 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:16.639 I think years ago, maybe the bedroom, the master bedroom was a den and then it got switched to past renovation or something. 00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:23.360 So we have this fireplace in our bedroom, and the mantle in the hearth's just been empty for three years, and so it was time. 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:24.319 It was now time. 00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:26.160 We we take a while to get around to things. 00:06:26.399 --> 00:06:32.079 So now it was time to like decorate, or you know, a guy word for that is like deck it out. 00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:34.399 We're gonna deck out the uh the man on the hearth. 00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:36.240 Because we're not gonna decorate it, we're gonna deck it out. 00:06:36.319 --> 00:06:45.439 And so we're gonna go to Scott's and say, okay, Chrissy, I what I would like personally, because I kind of I get into this a little bit, and so I would like some manly stuff. 00:06:45.600 --> 00:06:49.439 The room's feeling pretty light, a little feminine. 00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:55.680 We need some dark, leathery, like just some manly type items. 00:06:55.839 --> 00:07:03.040 And so we're walking around Scott's antique market, and uh Christy sees this and she's like, Oh, that's kind of cool. 00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:04.160 And so, what is this? 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:07.439 And the lady says, Oh, that's a that's an old vintage mail bag. 00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:12.720 Um, she says, probably about 80 years old, and it's like, yeah, I mean, that's how they would deliver mails with this bag. 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:20.319 And so when the lady's not looking, because you don't have the conversation with the lady looking, when the lady's not looking, Christy says, Oh, that's that's perfect. 00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:27.759 It could just sit on the hearth, kind of down low, it's kind of you know, it's manly, it's just gonna take up some space, like that's perfect. 00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:32.959 And so, you know, I circle back around real casual, and I've watched enough American pickers to know how to work this. 00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:36.000 And so, and you don't say uh what's the price? 00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:38.160 You say what's the price, they already know. 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:42.000 You you you're not a negotiator, you say, What do you have on that? 00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:43.040 That's the question. 00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:44.319 What do you have on that? 00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:45.120 That's the question. 00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:46.560 There's not what price. 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:49.360 If you said it's not TJ Maxx, there's no price. 00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:50.879 What do you have on that? 00:07:51.040 --> 00:07:52.480 And so you said, What do you have on that? 00:07:52.560 --> 00:08:05.120 And she says,$80, but my uh my husband said, Don't take less than$120 because it's you know it's vintage, it's the real deal, blah, blah, like you know, like there's some big market for old vintage mailbags out there, apparently, maybe, I don't know. 00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:08.560 And I said, Oh, okay, and I kind of hem and haw, and I walk around a little bit. 00:08:08.639 --> 00:08:15.199 And and then the second question you asked, because I've watched American Pickers, the second question you asked is you say, Well, how low can you go on that? 00:08:15.519 --> 00:08:18.240 And she says, uh, 65. 00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:19.439 I go 65. 00:08:19.920 --> 00:08:24.639 So, oh, you know, I walk around, you know, I'm grunting, oh, it's horrible. 00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:28.319 You know, walking around, knowing I'm gonna pay 65, I'll probably pay 65. 00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:30.319 Christy's already declared she loves it. 00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:34.000 So I circle back around again. 00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:35.759 I'm like, what about 55? 00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:38.000 And she says, no, no, 65 really is. 00:08:38.080 --> 00:08:40.399 It's early in the day, and it was early in the day, you know. 00:08:40.559 --> 00:08:43.440 My husband wanted 120, I'm already at 65, you know. 00:08:43.519 --> 00:08:47.759 Okay, so so uh, you know, I circle back around, you know, and I act like I'm gonna walk away, right? 00:08:47.919 --> 00:08:50.399 Like at least act like it to see if she'll come after me. 00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:56.080 And she wasn't coming after me, so then I turn around and just buy it for uh for 65. 00:08:56.240 --> 00:08:57.039 And so that was the price. 00:08:57.120 --> 00:08:58.159 I buy it for$65. 00:08:58.480 --> 00:08:59.919 All right, what is all this about, right? 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:00.720 What's the point? 00:09:00.960 --> 00:09:12.159 All right, what all of that about is about is evaluating value, assessing value, and then you make a decision based on value. 00:09:13.039 --> 00:09:18.639 I mean, it was actually just a couple moments later, I was in another booth, and there was this like cool horse's head. 00:09:19.759 --> 00:09:20.720 Somebody said, Yeah. 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:24.399 I don't know if you have a horse's head, but it was a cool horse's head. 00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:26.720 And I was like, oh, that is cool horse's head. 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:28.399 And I said, Well, what do you have on that? 00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:31.440 You know, and uh she said$3,000. 00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:38.480 And it was that moment where I wanted to act like I was a big enough boy, you know, to handle something like that. 00:09:38.639 --> 00:09:42.240 So I kind of stood there, like that's not like so far out of my life. 00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:44.320 I was like, oh yeah, I can do okay. 00:09:44.399 --> 00:09:51.360 You know, I I looked at it for another two minutes before I walked away just to let her know I was considering that price. 00:09:53.919 --> 00:09:54.240 Right? 00:09:54.320 --> 00:10:00.720 So you're constantly, you're evaluating value, you're assessing value, you're making a decision based on that. 00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:02.879 We're constantly doing this. 00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:10.080 We're doing it with leather bags, we're dealing with horses' heads, we're we're I mean, we're dealing, we're doing that with people. 00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:14.080 Now, I mentioned that because that's what this word is, honor. 00:10:14.159 --> 00:10:15.039 That's what the word is. 00:10:15.519 --> 00:10:19.120 The word honor means to attach value. 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:24.080 We actually talked about this same, this honor your father and mother. 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:26.240 We talked about it 13 months ago. 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:29.440 Uh the series that we we went through, the book of Ephesians. 00:10:29.519 --> 00:10:33.440 So this is a revisit sermon a little bit as I went back through it. 00:10:33.600 --> 00:10:38.159 And maybe here you're thinking honor, you know, like what an antiquated term. 00:10:38.320 --> 00:10:42.879 I mean, maybe you're even thinking, like, oh, that's like drawing swords and defend your honor. 00:10:43.039 --> 00:10:47.200 But we're doing this all day, every day. 00:10:47.440 --> 00:10:52.960 You're evaluating value, you're assigning value, and you're making a decision based on that. 00:10:53.200 --> 00:10:57.759 Honor means we attach value to something or someone. 00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:10.399 It's a decision to treat people, and in this passage, this fifth commandment, our parents, with dignity and long-term loyalty for their good. 00:11:11.039 --> 00:11:16.240 Now, I know some of you got shafted when it came to parents. 00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:21.360 And I've I've done enough counseling and had enough lunches and coffees to know that. 00:11:21.679 --> 00:11:24.799 Now you have stories that just are they're horrible. 00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:28.720 Stories of abuse and stories of neglect and stories of judgment. 00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:33.039 So we're not saying pretend abuse didn't occur. 00:11:33.440 --> 00:11:35.759 We're not saying get to pretend the passed away. 00:11:35.840 --> 00:11:53.519 Uh we're we're not saying, you know what, you have to pretend like dad showed up when dad really didn't show up, or that dad spoke kind words when dad never spoke kind words, or that he or she never drank when they actually always drank too much, or that you have to pretend away any of that, or that some secret life didn't come and destroy your family. 00:11:53.679 --> 00:11:57.840 We're not saying that honoring your parents means you have to pretend all of that away. 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:05.279 I mean, you may need boundaries, like really healthy, big, robust boundaries. 00:12:05.679 --> 00:12:06.559 You may need those. 00:12:06.639 --> 00:12:08.399 You may need to hold to those. 00:12:08.559 --> 00:12:10.480 So maybe you can't trust your parents. 00:12:10.559 --> 00:12:11.519 That's very possible. 00:12:11.679 --> 00:12:14.879 Maybe, maybe you can't admire your parents. 00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:24.240 But here's the thing: in some way, maybe simply by forgiveness, you can honor them as human beings. 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:33.679 So that second part of Exodus 20, verse 12, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 00:12:33.840 --> 00:12:39.120 So, author and philosopher Dallas Willard, he makes this commentary on that promise. 00:12:39.519 --> 00:12:41.120 And listen to this, so good. 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:45.919 This promise is rooted in the realities of the human soul. 00:12:46.240 --> 00:13:00.000 A long and healthy existence requires that we be grateful to God for who we are, and we cannot be thankful for who we are without being thankful for our parents through whom our life came. 00:13:01.679 --> 00:13:05.120 Okay, so let's grab a few points here to kind of guide us through this reasoning. 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:08.639 So, point number one is this is we've already talked about this, but here's the first point. 00:13:08.799 --> 00:13:13.039 Our lives reveal what and whom we honor. 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:17.759 So our lives reveal what and whom we uh we assign value to. 00:13:18.240 --> 00:13:19.279 And this is just true. 00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:22.879 It's true to a leather bag, it's true to a car, to a job, to a person. 00:13:23.039 --> 00:13:28.399 We may not like it, but our overall behavior reveals something. 00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:31.840 Doesn't reveal everything, but it reveals something. 00:13:32.399 --> 00:13:40.320 Now, as a child living under the your parents' roof, it's easy to say, you know what, they they don't know what's best for me. 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:48.080 I mean, it's easy to dismiss your parents because they're out of touch with reality in 2016. 00:13:48.639 --> 00:13:49.200 You know what? 00:13:49.279 --> 00:14:04.799 And it is very possible for your parents to be out of touch with 2016 and what's trending, but here's the thing they probably know more about you than you'll ever know about you, at least for a long time. 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:08.480 And they probably love you more than you love yourself. 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:16.480 And so honoring them is about not about them knowing what's trending and them being current, them knowing everything. 00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:19.519 It's the fact that they know a ton about you. 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:26.480 And so you can honor them, not because they're in the know, but because they know you and they love you. 00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:34.240 Then we grow up and we become adults, and honoring is about leaving them, but not disowning them. 00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:36.399 So maybe our lives have sped up. 00:14:36.480 --> 00:14:40.720 As adults, our lives have sped up, and maybe the lives of our parents have slowed down. 00:14:40.879 --> 00:14:42.480 Is anybody with me? 00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:43.600 Right? 00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:45.200 This is what starts to happen. 00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:49.759 And the gift back to them becomes your time and your words back to them. 00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:51.759 And isn't it hard? 00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:52.399 Isn't that hard? 00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:59.519 I mean, a lot of that the time's hard because you're busy, your life's sped up, their life's slowed down, and then the meaningful words thing can just be hard. 00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:02.639 The meaningful words thing can be hard with anybody. 00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:03.919 With anybody. 00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:09.840 To look somebody square in the eye, to look your parents square in the eye and say, you know what, thank you. 00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:14.799 Thank thank you that you cared for me for so many years, you put up with me. 00:15:14.879 --> 00:15:15.200 Thank you. 00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:16.639 You changed my diaper. 00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:17.919 Like you really, you did that. 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:18.320 Thank you. 00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:19.519 I've never thanked you for that. 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:22.799 You dressed me, you drove me around, you helped me with school, you provided for me. 00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:25.679 For some of you, like like your parents bailed you out. 00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:26.559 Thank, thank them. 00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:28.559 Like, thank you for bailing me out. 00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:30.879 You know, you matter to me. 00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:32.480 I care about you. 00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:37.679 You know what that does, that type of meaningful word, it just infuses life. 00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:46.159 But all that behavior, those words, and that time has to come from somewhere, and you just won't do it. 00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:57.919 And you won't do it because you'll be busy, or you won't do it because you'll be too annoyed with your parents, or they're judgmental toward you, or that relationship is just not perfect, or you're offended by them, or you're outright wounded by them. 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:00.320 So, where does honor come from? 00:16:01.039 --> 00:16:04.559 Point number two, honor is fueled by acceptance. 00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:10.240 So we see throughout the gospels of the New Testament that Jesus walks the earth, and what is he constantly doing? 00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:16.159 He's talking, he's touching, he's around, he's around people who've been dismissed their entire lives. 00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:29.759 And whether it's that hated tax collector in the tree or a sick woman in the crowd, or a blind man on the street, he gave them, he saw them, he evaluated, he assigned value, he honored them. 00:16:30.960 --> 00:16:36.320 So this week Christy's family uh moved her Nana into assisted care living. 00:16:36.399 --> 00:16:44.639 So Nana's nearing 90, granddaddy died in the fall, in the winter, and so time for Nana to go into assisted living. 00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:46.879 She couldn't manage herself at home anymore. 00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:52.159 And now, Nana, because she's into dementia, um, she's not always being herself. 00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:56.159 And so some things come out of Nana, it's just not Nana, it's not her. 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:58.559 It's not what would have come out of her. 00:16:58.720 --> 00:17:15.680 And Christy's mom has been tirelessly working to honor her mom and get her to a place that's healthy for her and she'll be cared for, she'll be loved, she'll be secure, and at the same time doing this with hostility from her mom. 00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:18.240 I mean, even nastiness from her mom at times. 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:19.759 And it's not, it's that's not Nana. 00:17:19.839 --> 00:17:21.359 That's so far from Nana. 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:42.720 And her mom is just tirelessly working around her, like strategically, getting the best, you know, and all this anxiety at the same time of like forcefully, forcefully moving your mom out of her home that she's been in for 50 years or something like that, for 50 years, and moving her somewhere else. 00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:51.839 And all of that, while Nana's not being respectable, but you still give honor to her. 00:17:52.880 --> 00:18:03.119 And and my mother-in-law is just attaching value to her over and over and over again as she's caring and providing for her, she's working for her good. 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:06.480 Now, my mother-in-law should be like Supermom, right? 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:11.039 I mean, she's she's she's been through life, she should be able to handle all this, she should be able to handle it just perfectly. 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:15.599 Um, you know, she she has the time to do it, she should be able to handle it perfectly. 00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:16.319 But you know what? 00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:19.200 She's a human too, so she has all this anxiety, right? 00:18:19.279 --> 00:18:25.039 Because now Nana's not being nicer, and so now things get passed down from her to Christy and to her brothers, right? 00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:26.880 I mean, this is just what happens. 00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:34.960 And now Christy and her brothers have to honor their mom by helping, by talking things through with their mom. 00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:36.720 Mom, you're doing the right thing. 00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:38.000 Mom, you're doing the right thing. 00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:39.039 Mom, you're doing the right thing. 00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:39.759 This is the right thing. 00:18:39.839 --> 00:18:40.400 Let me help you. 00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:41.039 How can I help you? 00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:43.839 Let me let's help you do this, let's do this, let's do that. 00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:47.200 And it's just over and over again, it was honor. 00:18:47.359 --> 00:18:55.279 I attach value to you, and Christy and her brothers are doing it to their mom, and then their mom is doing it to her mom, and it's just over and over. 00:18:55.519 --> 00:19:06.720 It's like this beautiful dance of attaching value, of seeing imperfection in your parent and still honoring them anyway. 00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:08.319 And this is what happens to all of us. 00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:09.279 Do you remember? 00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:14.079 Do you remember when you first began to see that your parents were people? 00:19:14.960 --> 00:19:15.279 Right? 00:19:15.440 --> 00:19:16.640 I mean, maybe it was early. 00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:22.880 I mean, maybe you were, maybe you were eight, nine, ten, and like you started to get it like, oh wow, like they're just really just people. 00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:25.200 Like they are far from perfect. 00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:28.160 Or maybe for you, like they were just great parents. 00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:38.640 I mean, they were super mom and super dad, and it took you till you were like 20, 21, 22, and maybe that relationship started to open up a little bit, and you're like, oh my gosh, they are messed up. 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:40.240 I had no idea. 00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:44.640 You started to see other families, you're like, we're weird, we're weird family. 00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:56.960 And there just comes a time when we're not super dad and we're not super mom and they aren't super dad, and they aren't super mom, and you're just Russ, and you're Christy or Ed and Carol or whoever. 00:19:57.279 --> 00:20:13.039 And honoring them becomes about allowing them to be not just your mom and your dad, which if that's just it, you will hold them to a standard of which they cannot maintain, but allowing them to be a human being with faults and with failures. 00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:17.200 Maybe you're here thinking, maybe you have no clue. 00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:24.000 Because you don't know my family, you don't know him, you don't know her, she's impossible, he is stubborn. 00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:26.240 They are crazy. 00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:28.799 And maybe they are. 00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:33.039 I mean maybe they are, and but maybe you you will be too. 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:35.599 And I know some of you, you already are. 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:48.079 So we do need more to this story because how do you accept if honoring is about accepting somebody, but then accepting them is very difficult because they're not perfect. 00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:50.559 So, how do you accept somebody who's not perfect? 00:20:50.640 --> 00:20:53.279 Because we want to we want to honor them based on their merit. 00:20:53.440 --> 00:20:55.920 But they don't have a lot of merit, just like you don't have a lot of merit. 00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:57.279 So, how are you gonna honor them? 00:20:57.359 --> 00:20:58.079 Where does it come from? 00:20:58.160 --> 00:20:59.680 And that's where point three comes from. 00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:03.039 You accept them by remembering your acceptance. 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:13.359 So, Paul in Ephesians 6, 1 through 3, which is what we preached through and talked about about a year ago, he mentions something else when he talks about this honoring parents because he slides something in. 00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:18.000 And what he says before he quotes Exodus 20, verse 12, he quote, he says this. 00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:22.720 He says, Uh, children, obey your parents in the Lord. 00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:24.000 For this is right. 00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:26.319 And then he quotes Exodus 20, verse 12. 00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:28.960 And so, children, obey your parents in the Lord. 00:21:29.119 --> 00:21:33.279 That phrase in the Lord, key phrase that he slides in there. 00:21:34.079 --> 00:21:40.559 And here's what it means: it means that none of your imperfection and issues and sins are counted against you. 00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:42.160 That's what it means to be in the Lord. 00:21:42.319 --> 00:21:47.359 None of your imperfections and sins and mistakes and failures and the fact that you're constantly failing and falling short. 00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:52.400 None of that is counted against you and your acceptance before God because you're in the Lord. 00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:53.440 You're not in your own word. 00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:57.359 And so you're in the Lord, so therefore you can honor your parents. 00:22:02.079 --> 00:22:05.440 You're accepted as crazy and perfect as you are. 00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:08.480 Now, now go look at mom. 00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:11.200 Now go look at dad. 00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:16.000 See, out of that position, everything changes. 00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:22.480 See, we sit in judgment over people as we think we have our acts together. 00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:26.480 When you think you have your act together, it's really easy to be judgmental over other people. 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:32.400 And then when you realize that you're the dirty, rotten scoundrel also, all of a sudden you're not judgmental anymore. 00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:37.759 Now compassion can begin. 00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:41.599 Listen, I wrote this sentence and I love this sentence so much. 00:22:41.759 --> 00:22:42.640 I worked on it all week. 00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:44.160 It's all I did all week, it's just one sentence. 00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:45.599 So please listen to this sentence. 00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:52.000 As you understand your imperfection, you can begin to deal with their imperfection. 00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:56.400 And as you deal with their imperfection, you can begin to honor them. 00:22:57.920 --> 00:23:06.880 As you understand your imperfection, that's where it begins, you begin to deal with their imperfection, and as you deal with their imperfection, you can begin to honor them. 00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:13.279 Because just as God does not use your merit to warrant his love toward you, you no longer, you are free. 00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:17.599 You don't have to use their merit for you to honor them. 00:23:18.559 --> 00:23:22.559 And maybe you wouldn't have paid$65 for this old leather mailbag. 00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:25.200 Like you evaluated that, and you were like,$65? 00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:29.440 Like I would have thrown, that was going to goodwill if that was in my attitude. 00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:32.799 Maybe that was so far from the way you would have assigned value to it. 00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:37.680 But see, that got assigned value from our point of view because we loved it. 00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:41.839 So I started thinking about my dog, Thomas. 00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:43.599 Some of y'all remember my dog talking about Thomas. 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:50.720 He died a couple years ago because uh Greta was walking around this week and she had a little t-shirt on and had a head of a big golden retriever on it. 00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:54.799 So I started thinking about my dog, and I started thinking about um his collar. 00:23:54.960 --> 00:23:55.680 Still have it. 00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:57.359 It's not going anywhere, by the way. 00:23:57.440 --> 00:23:58.559 It's in a box in the garage. 00:23:58.640 --> 00:24:01.440 I mean, this collar, this is his collar, he wore it all the time. 00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:02.880 It says Thomas on it. 00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:04.720 You know, this thing's staying around. 00:24:04.799 --> 00:24:10.960 And if you tried to buy that off me, if you tried to buy it off me, I would quote you a price. 00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:12.880 I mean, everything's for sale, don't get me wrong. 00:24:13.039 --> 00:24:14.559 I would quote you a price. 00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:16.319 You wouldn't pay that. 00:24:16.559 --> 00:24:18.720 There's no way you would pay that price. 00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:27.440 It would make no sense for you to pay that price because I value it out of love, not obligation. 00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:31.359 Okay, here's what that means. 00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:35.279 It means I sat around a table this week for lunch. 00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:36.079 It was lunchtime. 00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:45.920 I sat around a table with two other pastors, local pastors, pastor at Stonebridge and Pastor City Church Marietta that's starting up, and we're meeting together and talking, and just being together is great. 00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:52.319 And we talked about how can we help make sure our children don't feel like a distraction to our lives. 00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:53.680 Right? 00:24:53.839 --> 00:24:55.759 I mean, there's a way to screw up a kid, right? 00:24:55.920 --> 00:25:01.039 Like have an affair with a church while your kid's at home watching you, wishing you were there. 00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:02.799 Like that'll screw a kid up. 00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:04.400 And we're going, how do we not do that? 00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:05.759 How do we not do that? 00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:08.559 And I don't do that perfectly. 00:25:09.440 --> 00:25:12.960 And even when I'm there, I don't do that perfectly. 00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:14.240 Just like you. 00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:18.160 I'm impatient, I'm gonna be distant, right? 00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:21.839 I'm gonna have to ask for forgiveness at bedtime a good bit. 00:25:24.319 --> 00:25:26.640 So here's what I'm gonna have to have from them. 00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:29.920 I'm gonna have to, I will need a great grace from them. 00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:36.480 That one day I will need them to honor me even though I'm not honorable. 00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:39.599 Because they'll begin to see I'm not super dad. 00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:41.839 This is first jar on. 00:25:41.920 --> 00:25:44.640 We love because we have first been loved. 00:25:44.880 --> 00:25:46.160 See, the law. 00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:49.279 The law does not create honor. 00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:52.000 The law tells us about honor. 00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:54.079 Love creates honor. 00:25:55.359 --> 00:26:02.400 Without grace preceding the law, we have no shot at something like attaching value to a parent, not long-term and not for real. 00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:10.160 And our children have no shot of attaching value and honor to us unless they know the grace of God. 00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:13.680 They're accepted before God based on his work for them. 00:26:13.839 --> 00:26:20.160 Because now when they approach you, they will not be using your merit toward them in order for them to honor you. 00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:23.680 This is what we see again. 00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:29.680 We just see it again that this law, honor your father and mother, this is a good holy law. 00:26:29.920 --> 00:26:30.880 It is good. 00:26:31.279 --> 00:26:34.160 The principle is fantastic, it's what we need. 00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:37.839 But it crushes us because we don't perfectly do it. 00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:40.079 But you are in the Lord. 00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:41.359 You are in the Lord. 00:26:41.519 --> 00:26:45.200 God does not relate to you based on you being honorable. 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:49.920 He relates to you based on the fact that Jesus was honorable for you. 00:26:50.480 --> 00:27:02.720 So, my brothers and sisters, receive your honor this morning because the grace of God toward you and the work of Jesus on your behalf, He deems great honor upon you. 00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:11.119 And rest in the fullness and sufficiency of this honor, and may it bring great relief to you. 00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:12.880 Let's pray together. 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:25.759 Father, we thank you that you do not use our merit to decide whether you will honor us and value us. 00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:31.839 That you decided to take that accomplishment on your own. 00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:36.079 And that your work for us is enough for us. 00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:40.319 And that you honor us and value us and you love us. 00:27:41.759 --> 00:28:00.799 That we find ourselves in the Lord and not in our work, and where we live in the great rest and relief that there is for us as we know Jesus greater and greater in his sufficiency for us. 00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:06.880 Would you help us to see our parents through your grace? 00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:18.400 Would you help us to become so secure in you that we can risk loving them and honoring them and obeying them? 00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:24.000 And for some of us, good, healthy boundaries, even while forgiving them. 00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:28.880 Would you bring great healing to relationships that need it? 00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:32.880 Would you give us great discernment for conversations needed? 00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:41.039 Would you give us courage to speak the words that are so meaningful it can infuse such great life? 00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:48.480 And would all that always come back to that secure relationship and acceptance we have in you? 00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:50.000 In Jesus' name we pray. 00:28:50.240 --> 00:28:50.880 Amen.