WEBVTT 00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:10.560 The thing to me about Father's Day, there's a lot of things, but one thing is it's often a day of great joy as a father when we celebrate ourselves and our fathers or your dad. 00:00:11.039 --> 00:00:13.039 It's also a day of great sadness. 00:00:13.199 --> 00:00:14.800 And so we'll talk about that some today. 00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:18.239 But before we do, just I'll mention Russ is this week at Blue Skies. 00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:19.359 He's down at the beach. 00:00:19.519 --> 00:00:24.399 If you remember, Melinda Mayton came and talked, and uh she talked about the ministry they have. 00:00:24.480 --> 00:00:30.960 They serve families who've got a child with cancer, and they take them to the beach and they let them have a week away. 00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:39.920 And Russ is down there, he's the campus or the retreat minister chaplain this week, and he's given a series of talks just to be there to serve them. 00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:43.200 And so they're at the beach, but it's not a week of just beach time. 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:48.799 Russ and Christy and the three girls are down there and enjoying their time serving others. 00:00:49.039 --> 00:00:51.439 As Brian mentioned, I'm an elder here. 00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:54.000 Uh my name is Brad Respus, as you saw. 00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:55.600 I've got four kids. 00:00:55.759 --> 00:00:58.799 Uh Jack is my oldest, he's wearing blue, and he's 12. 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:01.119 He'll be 13 in about a month and a half. 00:01:01.280 --> 00:01:06.799 Uh Teddy is in the green and white, he's my third, he's nine, and he's a little bit crazy. 00:01:06.959 --> 00:01:10.159 And Harry is 11 and Wheezy is five. 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:13.519 And I love every bit of being of a father. 00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:20.799 Uh last night we went to dinner, and I said to them, I said, What is it, what do you think God gave you a dad to do? 00:01:21.120 --> 00:01:23.519 And so Harry gave the answer, and they all agreed. 00:01:23.599 --> 00:01:27.439 They said, You're here to take care of us and to have fun with us. 00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:29.840 And I thought that was a great answer. 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:33.840 Um and something I want to talk a little bit about today. 00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:37.920 But before I do that, I kind of want to give a little bit of a background of an elder. 00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:43.200 And this is something that I don't know that I knew much about, and I don't know that we've talked much about it. 00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:56.159 So it's something that I want to kind of share with you my thoughts on what an elder does or what an elder is and what it means for it to be elder Brian or Elder Brad or Elder Barry. 00:01:56.560 --> 00:02:03.680 Um, and it's and it kind of goes back to my journey on understanding an elder goes back to my journey at Redeemer. 00:02:04.400 --> 00:02:24.159 Uh when I was here originally, or maybe say a year and a half or two years ago, I'm thinking my role as an elder is to protect who we are as a church, to protect and to serve Russ, and to do the business of making sure we collect the money and get it put in the bank deposit or whatever we got to do with it. 00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:33.439 And and we had um, well, I had kind of a wrong view of what an elder does. 00:02:33.680 --> 00:02:36.800 And it kind of goes back to my story at Redeemer. 00:02:36.960 --> 00:02:41.919 I'm here because I was a kid who longed for approval. 00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:43.599 I longed for my friends to like me. 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:45.360 I wanted my dad to love me. 00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:48.719 I wanted people to look to me and want to hang out with me. 00:02:48.960 --> 00:02:51.759 I was always seeking other people's attentions. 00:02:52.159 --> 00:03:04.159 The story that I remember greatly is when I was, this is crazy, but in the tenth grade, tenth grade, we would sit in class, and I would take a full sheet of paper and I would stuff in my mouth. 00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:05.599 Don't do this, Jack. 00:03:05.759 --> 00:03:11.759 And I would shove it in my mouth, and I would let my you maybe you did this, Brian, I don't know. 00:03:11.919 --> 00:03:18.240 I would let my saliva dissolve it into basically a sheet of like mush. 00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:33.439 And I would rear back and I would throw it against the wall in class, in class, when the teacher's not watching or whatever, and it would splatter and it would look like one of those relief maps, you know, like a volcano. 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:34.719 It was nasty. 00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:42.479 And I love doing that because the kids in the class would get a big laugh, and they thought I was hilarious doing that. 00:03:42.639 --> 00:03:44.080 It was so disrespectful. 00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:46.479 I'm sorry, Megan, these are your kids. 00:03:48.639 --> 00:03:55.039 I mean, it was crazy the things that we did in class, and and it would later turn into being a teacher's pet. 00:03:55.199 --> 00:03:58.159 I was doing whatever I could to get the attention of others. 00:03:58.479 --> 00:04:04.000 Well, when I finished college and I started working, I wanted to do that through work. 00:04:04.159 --> 00:04:10.479 And so I longed for that through my job and my career, and that was going great as long as things were going well. 00:04:10.719 --> 00:04:15.919 And then we got into a summer where it was crazy and everything started going bad. 00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:23.920 And I realized that all that I'd done and all this attention and all the glory that I sought really was meaningless. 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:32.399 And in my brokenness, I realized that I could never justify me, I could never prove myself enough, I could never be somebody. 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:38.639 And that's when I realized that in Christ, all that was done for me, and all that's done for us. 00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:57.680 And that's the journey that brought me and my family to Redeemer is this is a place where we know and we hear that good news that in Christ, all that's been done, I don't need the approval of others, I don't need the attention of my classmates or the acceptance of the society and Marietta or whatever. 00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:00.639 All that I've been given in Christ. 00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:08.160 And so that is this Galatians 4, chapter 4, verse 4 through 7. 00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:09.839 And I'll read this. 00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:13.519 When the full but then I'm reading the the ESV version. 00:05:13.680 --> 00:05:25.600 But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who are under the law. 00:05:25.759 --> 00:05:33.439 And the law for me was proving myself, trying to be accepted, be loved, be be admired, uh get the attention of others. 00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:40.959 So to redeem those who are under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. 00:05:41.199 --> 00:05:57.120 And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, Abba, Father, so you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. 00:05:57.439 --> 00:06:03.120 And to me, I came to Redeemer, we came to Redeemer to bring the good news, the gospel to Marietta. 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:04.319 We wanted people to hear that. 00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:15.759 We felt like it was freedom, freedom for us who were striving to be somebody or to do our own thing, that self-justification project Russ talks about. 00:06:16.240 --> 00:06:33.120 And so this to me was my first role as an elder, to protect our church, to prevent us from teaching moralism or performancism or patriotism, uh, to not preach a checklist of to-do things, but to preach Jesus and to preach Scripture. 00:06:33.519 --> 00:06:41.120 Second thing was to protect Rust, and finally, my goal, my my thought as an elder was to make sure we got the business of the church done. 00:06:41.199 --> 00:06:49.279 So we had to buy the building, close on it this last week, and when we did that, we had to get insurance, and that's the kind of little details of the business of it. 00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:51.120 So it's just minor things. 00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:53.920 But then we invited Bill Fullove to come and talk to us. 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:58.480 And Bill is uh a professor down at Reformed Theological Seminary. 00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:05.519 When you drive down 75, it's on the east side, and so we're very blessed to have him here because he is smart. 00:07:05.680 --> 00:07:07.600 I mean, he knows the Bible. 00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:12.560 And he came and taught to us scripturally, what does it mean to be an elder? 00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:16.720 And I was blown away, honestly, and I told him this before. 00:07:16.959 --> 00:07:18.160 Three things he taught us. 00:07:18.319 --> 00:07:21.920 Number one was your role is to pray. 00:07:22.879 --> 00:07:23.600 That's a gimme. 00:07:23.839 --> 00:07:27.279 I don't know what my brain was thinking, why I didn't think about that. 00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:30.639 It's to pray for our body, to pray for our church, to pray for Russ. 00:07:31.199 --> 00:07:35.040 The second thing that he taught was to shepherd. 00:07:35.199 --> 00:07:39.759 And the verse here is in 1 Peter chapter 5, don't go there, I'll just read it. 00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:55.519 So exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God that is among you. 00:07:56.959 --> 00:08:10.079 And what we talked about was that the role of an elder is almost like the role of a pastor, not the preacher, but the pastor whose heart is to care for the flock, the people, us, our church, our body. 00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:19.759 And as our church grows, you might have a need, or I might have a need, and that need, Russ might not have enough time to care for each one of us. 00:08:19.920 --> 00:08:22.720 And that's one of the reasons that we have elders. 00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:36.960 And so if you have a need or you you want somebody to pray for you, or if you've got going to the hospital, you're gonna have surgery, your kids going through a tough time, that you can call Barry Mathis, who's an elder, or Brian Robinson, or Bo Teague, or me. 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:40.399 Our heart is to shepherd as well. 00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:48.399 And the third thing that that uh Bill taught us was that our role is to teach. 00:08:49.360 --> 00:09:03.519 And if you read in 2 Timothy chapter 3 and the first part of chapter 4, Paul writes about all scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction. 00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:12.159 He says in there, in my brain, is to is to be ready to teach. 00:09:12.320 --> 00:09:13.279 So I'll just read this. 00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:24.080 I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom, preach the word. 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:27.919 Be ready in season and out of season. 00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:33.360 Reprove, rebuke, and exhort with complete patience and teaching. 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.440 And so that's the third thing that I learned was our role is to teach. 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:39.679 And so I share that with you. 00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:47.279 Just I want you to know that we're here to serve you, but I really want you to hear that the reason we're teaching is because we believe in scripture. 00:09:47.519 --> 00:09:58.240 I don't think that uh Brian or Barry or Bo or I or as eloquent as Russ is, we'll never be as good of a preacher as he is, but we love to come and teach Scripture. 00:09:59.360 --> 00:10:01.919 So it's Father's Day. 00:10:02.879 --> 00:10:25.600 You may be a father, you may be a daughter or a son, or maybe you're a biological father, a parent, maybe you're an adopted one, maybe you have adopted someone, or maybe you have a uh a father who's adopted someone, or maybe today you're wishing to be a father. 00:10:27.120 --> 00:10:34.240 Or maybe you're like me, and some days you wish your father were closer, or maybe you have lost a father. 00:10:34.480 --> 00:10:38.720 So Father's Day is a very, very important key day. 00:10:38.960 --> 00:10:45.759 Today I want to talk about this John chapter 5, because I'm talking in my brain is is let me go back. 00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:53.200 When I teach, and and as I'm teaching this, John 5, I ask the Holy Spirit, God, come teach me first. 00:10:53.360 --> 00:10:54.159 Teach me about this. 00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:57.679 Let me understand what you're saying to me, minister to me first. 00:10:58.639 --> 00:11:07.519 And and I really, when I when I read this, John chapter 5, I'm reminded that fathers are not necessarily about fathers like a biological dad. 00:11:07.759 --> 00:11:14.159 You could be a father who's a small group leader, you could be a father who's a mom and just caring for someone. 00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:18.080 You could be a father in that sense as a young life leader. 00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:23.120 You could host people for dinner, you could be a boss or a co-worker, you could be a friend. 00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:30.159 The story that we talk about today is about the heart of a father, someone who's caring for someone. 00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:48.960 You know, I I go back and I think about being a dad, and you see these great pictures of new fathers, and they're in the in the hospital, and they have their firstborn child, and it's so exciting, and they have this picture of their they're uh they're just ear-to-ear grinning and they're holding their little baby boy, their baby girl. 00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:52.559 And that's how fatherhood begins, and it's so fun to me. 00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:55.519 And then there's this crazy frustration of being a dad. 00:11:55.679 --> 00:12:08.879 You know, we went to the beach two weeks ago, and seven hours in a car, it took a few stops, and the backseat of UConn XL, it's a big car, the backseat is little when you put three boys in it. 00:12:09.039 --> 00:12:23.039 And so they're squished up side by side, and we're like four hours in the ride, and maybe Teddy or maybe Harry starts elbowing Jack, and Jack kind of starts punching him back, and the next thing you know, they're hitting each other and they're screaming, and and there's seven of us in this car. 00:12:23.360 --> 00:12:26.559 So we have a friend with us, and it like it's it's chaos. 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:34.080 The the noise level is crazy, and there's just a point where I want to veer off into a ditch, or I don't really want to do that. 00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:37.919 But I pull off to the side, I mean, I just I say, guys, we we can't do this. 00:12:38.080 --> 00:12:43.039 And there's this great frustration that comes with being a dad sometimes. 00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:45.600 There's also tough choices of being a parent. 00:12:45.759 --> 00:13:08.559 I tell you, one of the hardest things I've witnessed was my stepfather, who at when his my my youngest stepbrother was in his 20s, my stepdad told him, You can't come home anymore until you fix your life, until you get off of drugs and alcohol, until you get better, you can't come home anymore. 00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:16.639 And uh, I think it was about three or four years later, and they had they seen each other a couple of times, but not much. 00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:22.080 He got that phone call that his son had run off the road and hit a tree. 00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:24.720 He'd been drinking, and he was dead. 00:13:26.080 --> 00:13:46.320 And to see that the pain of him experiencing that, and then also um burying his son that he had pushed off, did the right thing, but the pain of that as a dad is this great frustration, this great pain, and yet there's this great joy being a dad, and you know this. 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:54.080 Um we went down to uh the beach, and so Wheezy and I, I might cry all day. 00:13:56.480 --> 00:14:06.240 Um Wheezy and I were in the pool, and we were it was like nine o'clock and we started counting stars, and I can't help but cry. 00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:23.039 And um she looked up and said, Well, there's number one, there's number two, and there's like 95 and 99, and it was great. 00:14:23.279 --> 00:14:35.919 And we got out of the car out of the pool, and she said to me, Dad, I wish I could hold one of those. 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:50.799 And I just there's this great joy of being a dad, and you see your child grow and you see your children develop, and you see them grow up, and it is such a joy to be a dad. 00:14:52.320 --> 00:15:03.600 Um this uh there's a movie, Father the Bride, you've all seen it, and George says in it, Hooper's and this woman, this woman, but she's not a woman, she's just a kid, and she's leaving us. 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:07.120 I realized at that moment that I was never gonna come home again. 00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:08.240 See, Annie. 00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:12.480 All right. 00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:19.200 At the top of the stairs, never gonna see her again at our breakfast table and in her nightgown and socks. 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:25.360 Um, well, so let's go to John 5. 00:15:25.440 --> 00:15:28.240 I'll come back and tell that I had a one more story about Harry that's incredible. 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:29.679 I can't do it though. 00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:43.600 So if I go back to John chapter 5, and I and I and I'm reading and I'm asking God, teach me as a dad, because here is a scene of a dad and a son, and it's it's like perfect. 00:15:43.679 --> 00:15:45.759 I mean, it's it's so incredible. 00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:52.960 It's not it's not the dad sitting down and saying, All right, son, here's how you putt, or here's how you do your career. 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:58.480 It's a scene of a of a son and a dad who it's just that dad loves his son. 00:15:59.759 --> 00:16:09.279 And as it as God taught me, there's really interesting to me because I learn in reading this that fathers give life. 00:16:09.519 --> 00:16:10.320 We create. 00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:18.320 Maybe it's we start a small group, maybe we teach a class, maybe we're a disciple, or maybe we're a boss, we but we create. 00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:25.919 The second thing that we do is we we teach how to live, we model that for our kids. 00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:30.240 We instruct them, we show them do this and don't do that. 00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:37.279 Honestly, we give our kids the law because that's how you function in our societies you you you get the law. 00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:44.559 And and lastly, fathers, we love and we love so we can help bring life to our kids. 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:50.240 Three roles of a father to create, to instruct, and to love. 00:16:50.399 --> 00:16:54.720 If you write down that might be one thing you write down in Galatians 4, is the other thing. 00:16:54.960 --> 00:16:57.200 We create, we instruct, and we love. 00:16:57.360 --> 00:17:05.440 And remember, when I say fathers, it's a mentor, it's a shepherd, it's a helper, it's someone who's there for someone else. 00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:16.240 So it's easy to creating, I mean, it's in whatever way you want to say that, it's easy to the starting process, then the instructing process. 00:17:16.400 --> 00:17:25.519 And we've got a lot of young families in our church, including ours, and I'm not qualified to teach how to be a dad and what you teach your kids, but I know there's a few things. 00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:29.200 So I thought I'd mention these because I think they're they're key. 00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:31.680 Keys to being a good dad. 00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:34.559 Be involved and be around. 00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:39.359 You've heard that quality of time and quantity of time, they're both important. 00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:45.279 I mean, I sometimes kids say, hey, I don't want you with me, but I tell you, when you have your kids, you want to be with them. 00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:49.359 So young dads, young fathers, be with them. 00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:50.960 Be around them. 00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:53.680 Teach them about money. 00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:58.160 I tell you at our house, we do chores on Saturdays. 00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:02.960 And we make our kids do a list of chores, and if you do them, you get paid. 00:18:03.119 --> 00:18:06.559 And so for us, let's say Teddy does his chores, maybe gets paid$10. 00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:11.920 We say, Teddy, take your$1, you're gonna take it, we're gonna give it to the church. 00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:15.359 $2, we're gonna give it into, we're gonna put it into savings. 00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:17.759 You'll earn interest in that little savings account. 00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:20.559 And then$7, you can do whatever you want to with it. 00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:22.000 But be wise about it. 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:23.680 Don't blow it on a bunch of candy. 00:18:23.759 --> 00:18:25.599 But they do, they blow it on candy, but whatever. 00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:27.200 We teach them about money. 00:18:27.440 --> 00:18:29.279 We teach them work ethic. 00:18:29.440 --> 00:18:32.559 And if you're a father, you want to teach your kid work ethic. 00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:36.240 You want to have them doing yard work, you want to have them clean the room. 00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:37.680 It's very important. 00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:40.240 As fathers, we take them to church. 00:18:40.319 --> 00:18:41.519 We take our kids to church. 00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:44.160 I mean, there's a lot of young people in our church, and it's great. 00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:51.680 My mom always taught me that she believed that if we gave our kids, her kids, a foundation, they return to that foundation. 00:18:51.839 --> 00:18:54.480 That would be their root and they come back to it. 00:18:55.680 --> 00:18:57.599 Set clear rules. 00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:03.519 If you expect for your kids to do this, then tell them what you expect for them to do. 00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:08.480 If you don't clarify that, it's not fair to hold them accountable to it. 00:19:08.720 --> 00:19:11.599 It's also important that you hold true consequences. 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:17.920 If you say, hey, if you do your homework for 10 days and you do it well, I'll take you to get ice cream. 00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:21.359 And if they don't do their homework for 10 days, don't take them to get ice cream. 00:19:21.519 --> 00:19:24.799 Be very clear about the consequences and make sure they're solid. 00:19:26.559 --> 00:19:30.319 As a father, read with your children. 00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:33.839 Take time to lay in the bed with them at night and read them a story. 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:35.759 Show them how you read. 00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:38.400 Pray with them. 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:42.480 Let them pray and you pray and teach them how to pray. 00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:49.279 So that one day when they're in that place and they're broken, they know how to turn to God and say, Help me, Father. 00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:54.960 You know, I do a terrible this and um I experience and I give this. 00:19:55.119 --> 00:19:56.799 Do not exasperate them. 00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:03.759 That's one of the hardest ones because I've seen if I lose my temper, my exasperation of them. 00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:06.160 But I think that's one that's a key. 00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:12.400 Andy Stanley says he gives kind of guidelines in life, years one through five, we discipline them. 00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:17.279 Years five through twelve, we train them, years twelve through eighteen, we coach them. 00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:20.240 Eighteen and older, we be their friend. 00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:25.759 And I say these things because I don't know that we get we hear this a lot. 00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:29.119 There's a lot of great people in our church who've got great experiences. 00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:33.359 A lot of dads here who've been doing it for a long time, big families. 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:37.279 It's uh it's it's pretty neat to go and ask them, How'd you do it? 00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:46.640 You know, one of the things that I early on as a dad read was this book, Wild at Heart, John Eldridge. 00:20:46.720 --> 00:20:49.039 I don't know if you've read that book yet or not. 00:20:49.920 --> 00:20:54.880 It scared me to death because he talked about these father wounds. 00:20:54.960 --> 00:20:59.119 And at first I related, I've been hurt by my dad, we all have. 00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:03.759 We've got some emotional scar, some tissue, some baggage that our dad gave to us. 00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:12.240 And then as my boys got older, I started realizing, wait a second, how do I not inflict a father wound on my kids? 00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:15.039 And I started feeling this great pressure. 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:22.240 So there's there's all this this all these things that you do as a dad, and you've got to be good at it. 00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:26.640 You don't want to not be good at it and your kids grow up and be failures. 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:36.640 You sure don't want your kids doing drugs or maybe getting a tattoo, or you sure don't want your kids to not get in a good school or flunk out of high school or you know, get pregnant with everything. 00:21:36.960 --> 00:21:43.519 You you don't you you cannot, if if you don't do it right as a dad, your kids are going to fail. 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:47.119 It's kind of the message I kept hearing over and over again. 00:21:47.359 --> 00:21:53.599 So I go to Amazon, I did it this week, I said, How many books can I read on parenting and how to be a perfect dad? 00:21:53.759 --> 00:21:57.680 It's 39,198 when I searched parenting. 00:21:57.839 --> 00:21:59.839 And I think we've got about 5,000 in my house. 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.279 That I've read. 00:22:01.519 --> 00:22:14.640 When I first got to know Brian and Mandy, Megan and I would go to their house and we would listen to, I don't even know who it was anymore, thankfully, but we would listen to this couple teach, here's how to be a parent, here's how to do it. 00:22:14.799 --> 00:22:19.839 And so all this pressure's on us, because two things. 00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:26.319 One, it's a big calling to be a parent, but really more than that is my kids reflect me. 00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:33.039 I go and I see, we were at the restaurant last night, and one little kid screaming. 00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:38.400 And you know the mom's thinking, because the dad went there, the mom's thinking, everybody's looking at me. 00:22:38.559 --> 00:22:42.480 Megan took a flight one time with Jack, and I think he was maybe a year and a half old. 00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:47.119 They flew from, or maybe he's nine months old, flew from Myrtle Beach to Atlanta. 00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:51.920 And imagine if he starts screaming, the pressure she's going to feel. 00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:53.839 Like, oh man, they're all looking at me. 00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:57.279 It's my kids, it's my fault that I'm here. 00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:00.480 What happens when my kid is bad at school? 00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:04.559 What happens if I walk down there and Annie Patrella says, hey, Mr. 00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:08.480 Respus, your son Teddy, he was tough in class today. 00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:10.880 She doesn't do that for you, though, very much. 00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:16.559 What about if my kids are mean to their friends? 00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:18.960 What if they don't get good grades? 00:23:19.119 --> 00:23:21.759 What if they don't make it into the IB program? 00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:24.160 What if they don't get into a good college? 00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:26.720 What if, what if? 00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:28.640 Think of that pressure. 00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:32.000 It's the pressure to bear fruit. 00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:38.000 It's the pressure for our work to mean something. 00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:45.279 They're great tips, they're great, great, great help, but ultimately it's the law. 00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:57.039 If I read Romans chapter 7, verse 12, so the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good, but it does not bring life. 00:23:57.279 --> 00:24:02.400 I go back to verses, Romans chapter 7, verse 10 and 11. 00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:08.640 The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me. 00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:14.079 For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me. 00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:18.559 The formula of being a great parent, the formula, if you do this, your kid's going to do this. 00:24:18.960 --> 00:24:23.680 If you're this way as a dad or as a mom or as a small group leader, you will have this outcome. 00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:28.799 If I share this kind of message with my coworker, he'll become a Christian or whatever it is. 00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:31.839 That formula is law, it's pressure on us. 00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:34.319 And that is death. 00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:35.839 That will become death. 00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:39.680 And we need life, and our kids need life. 00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:42.559 And that life comes in sonship. 00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:45.599 That life comes in adoption. 00:24:46.799 --> 00:24:54.640 If you read verse 21 in John chapter 5, Jesus says the Father raises the dead and gives them life. 00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:58.160 Those that we father, they need life. 00:24:58.799 --> 00:25:01.039 And we can give it when we receive it. 00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:02.960 And that's the good news of the gospel. 00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:06.880 It's to know Christ is to be adopted, is to be loved. 00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:09.200 It's to be given life. 00:25:09.440 --> 00:25:10.319 Not instructions. 00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:12.319 I mean, those things of instructions, those are good. 00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:13.680 Those are great things. 00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:16.079 But they don't bring life. 00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:21.279 Our kids, the people we work with, they need to know Jesus. 00:25:21.839 --> 00:25:26.559 And that's our hope as a parent, to know that in Him I am adopted. 00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:28.240 In Him I am loved. 00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:40.000 In Christ, I'm free to love without needing to get, not needing for my children to reflect me in a good way, not needing for them to achieve something great to make me feel better. 00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:45.119 So John chapter 5, and I'll go back to that and then I'll wrap up here in a minute. 00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:49.839 John chapter 5, Jesus is at the well, and there's an invalid there who's been there. 00:25:49.920 --> 00:25:52.160 This is right before what's in the bulletin. 00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:54.319 The invalid has been there for 38 years. 00:25:54.400 --> 00:26:01.279 He can't walk, and Jesus comes up to him and heals him and says, Take, get up, take your mat and walk. 00:26:01.759 --> 00:26:05.440 And the Jews are angry because he did it on a Sabbath. 00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:07.359 He broke the rules. 00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:09.519 Now here's a question I've got. 00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:13.920 If you broke the rules, what would you say is, hey, here's my defense. 00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:17.599 I would probably say, look at he's walking, I healed him. 00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:22.400 What what how can you fault that on a Sunday or what a Sabbath day then? 00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:24.559 But how can you fault me for that? 00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:30.640 Likewise, we look to the fruit of our labor to justify ourselves. 00:26:31.119 --> 00:26:32.640 How's my child doing? 00:26:32.880 --> 00:26:34.960 How's my discipleship class doing? 00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:36.400 How's my small group? 00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:38.160 How's my career climb? 00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:40.000 It's a vicious cycle. 00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:41.920 It's never good enough. 00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:46.240 Jesus, though, he didn't justify himself by his fruit. 00:26:46.880 --> 00:26:48.960 He just came back and he said this. 00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:55.279 He said, I'm my dad's, I'm my father's, and I'm just doing what he does. 00:26:57.839 --> 00:27:01.680 Basically, Jesus is saying, My father loves me, and that's enough. 00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:03.279 That was the good news. 00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:06.880 And as believers, we too are in his love. 00:27:07.039 --> 00:27:09.599 There's no need for self-justification. 00:27:09.839 --> 00:27:12.160 We want our kids to be perfect, we want them to be better. 00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:17.519 We want them to be good, but the reality is they need life. 00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:23.680 They need life because there's death without Christ. 00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:26.000 They can never be good enough. 00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:27.359 We can never be good enough. 00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:31.359 We can never parent well enough to justify ourselves. 00:27:31.440 --> 00:27:39.200 Our only hope is justification by grace alone, through faith alone, and Christ alone. 00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:48.240 Jesus said, his response was in verse 17 and 18, My Father is working until now, and I am working. 00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:52.319 He was even calling God his own father. 00:27:53.200 --> 00:27:55.119 He was saying, I'm the Father's. 00:27:55.279 --> 00:27:56.720 I'm complete as a son. 00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:03.440 I'm free to serve, I'm free to give, I'm free to love because I'm fully loved. 00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:09.759 Jesus was made complete by his father's love. 00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:13.119 In Christ, we are sons. 00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:14.799 We are made complete. 00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:17.119 We are made complete as well. 00:28:17.359 --> 00:28:23.599 A Christian father is free to parent, free to love and free to give. 00:28:23.759 --> 00:28:26.160 There's no need to get from our kids. 00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:38.480 We're free from having to get from the fruit of our efforts, from the fruit of our work, from the fruit of our children, from how it all turns out. 00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:40.799 We are free to go and live. 00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:46.240 Our children's only hope is Christ for them to be adopted as sons and daughters. 00:28:46.559 --> 00:28:48.000 And we don't have to do it perfectly. 00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:48.960 There's a freedom. 00:28:49.119 --> 00:29:03.440 I believe when I said, let's come to a Redeemer, let's do this, this church of Marietta, it was to proclaim the gospel, the good news to parents, too, that we don't have to parent our kids perfectly. 00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:05.839 Because you know what? 00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:08.880 Our parents didn't do it perfectly. 00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:14.319 We won't do it perfectly, and our kids won't do it perfectly because we can never be perfect because of sin. 00:29:18.079 --> 00:29:25.039 We can live free to father and be fathered in love because we know that Christ will produce the fruit. 00:29:25.119 --> 00:29:27.200 And that's the good news of the gospel. 00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:29.839 The burden to bear fruit is over. 00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:31.440 It is finished. 00:29:31.680 --> 00:29:34.880 We are justified fully in Christ alone. 00:29:35.359 --> 00:29:39.119 Yes, as fathers, we create, we instruct, and we love. 00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:49.759 But when we live in Christ's love for us, that's where we can be alive and where we can bring life to our children. 00:29:50.880 --> 00:29:54.400 In Galatians 4, I'll read this one more time. 00:29:54.720 --> 00:30:07.359 God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. 00:30:07.759 --> 00:30:23.440 And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, Abba, Father, you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. 00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:29.119 There's freedom in being a in knowing Christ. 00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:36.799 There's freedom because we no longer have to bear the burden to bear fruit out of our work or out of our children. 00:30:37.279 --> 00:30:38.640 Let me pray. 00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:43.759 Father, I thank you for the opportunity to worship you this morning. 00:30:43.839 --> 00:30:45.279 I thank you for scripture. 00:30:45.599 --> 00:31:00.319 I thank you that even when I don't teach well or when I mix up my words, that you speak through Scripture, that you teach through Scripture. 00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:12.799 And I pray that you guide our hearts back to a place where we find ourselves reminded daily that we have been adopted in Christ as your children. 00:31:13.599 --> 00:31:17.440 Help us live in that place so that we can freely give to our children. 00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:19.119 In Jesus' name I pray. 00:31:19.359 --> 00:31:19.920 Amen.