SPEAKER_01: Well, we are studying our way through 2 Samuel.
SPEAKER_01: Today we are in chapters 13 through 18.
SPEAKER_01: Last week we looked at David's sin with Bathsheba.
SPEAKER_01: And this week we look at another pretty messed up story.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, not a PG, not a PG 13.
SPEAKER_01: It's a R-rated messed up story.
SPEAKER_01: David's son Amnon becomes obsessed with his half-sister Tamar.
SPEAKER_01: Amnon arranges to be alone with her, and he takes advantage of her and he rapes her.
SPEAKER_01: So I just need to begin by saying that I know some of you, even that story is too familiar for you.
SPEAKER_01: And I want to say to that that that is horrible, and I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01: We are here for you.
SPEAKER_01: If you just want to talk, if you would like to be prayed for, if we can help you walk through counseling, we're here.
SPEAKER_01: Our text is 2 Samuel 13.
SPEAKER_01: We'll read verses 14 and 15 and then verses 20 through 22.
SPEAKER_01: But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her.
SPEAKER_01: Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred.
SPEAKER_01: So that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her.
SPEAKER_01: And Amnon said to her, Get up, go.
SPEAKER_01: And her brother Absalom said to her, Has Amnon your brother been with you?
SPEAKER_01: Now hold your peace, my sister.
SPEAKER_01: He is your brother, do not take this to heart.
SPEAKER_01: So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, and her brother Absalom's house.
SPEAKER_01: When King David heard all these things, he was very angry.
SPEAKER_01: But Absalom spoke to Amnon, neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar.
SPEAKER_01: Point number one is this our irresponsibility affects other people.
SPEAKER_01: Our offensive acts affect other people, but also when we just lack to do something, it has an effect.
SPEAKER_01: We're not islands, we're connected as family and as friends, coworkers as a church.
SPEAKER_01: When Amnon acts, it has an effect.
SPEAKER_01: When David doesn't act, which is what he does, he never moves toward his family for justice or reconciliation, and it affects people.
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's been about a month or so since I've given you a puppy update.
SPEAKER_01: So our puppy's name is Brock Bowers.
SPEAKER_01: This is Brock Bowers.
SPEAKER_01: There he is.
SPEAKER_01: He's now six months old.
SPEAKER_01: He's incredibly cute.
SPEAKER_01: He was the best thing that ever happened to us.
SPEAKER_01: And then he was the worst thing that ever happened to us.
SPEAKER_01: And it's getting better.
SPEAKER_01: He's like half teddy bear, half wild hyena, just depending on the time of the day.
SPEAKER_01: Two months ago, I was still waking up at 4 a.m.
SPEAKER_01: to take him out to the potty in the middle of the night.
SPEAKER_01: One night my alarm goes off.
SPEAKER_01: It's 4 a.m.
SPEAKER_01: I'm tired.
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, in two more hours we'll be awake.
SPEAKER_01: This little guy's gonna be fine.
SPEAKER_01: He'll have no problem.
SPEAKER_01: About an hour later, 5 a.m., I hear little Brock Bowers just wailing, barking, like different than like a little cry.
SPEAKER_01: Just like, ugh, well, I I had not gotten up.
SPEAKER_01: I had not lived up to my responsibility, and now I'm walking into the living room to see the effect of my irresponsibility.
SPEAKER_01: And there is Brock in his crate, covered, covered in his own sewage, just covered in his crate in the middle of our living room.
SPEAKER_01: So that's the 5 a.m.
SPEAKER_01: bath and walk, and because I did not live up to my responsibility.
SPEAKER_01: That's why it happened.
SPEAKER_01: It happened because I didn't do something.
SPEAKER_01: My lack of responsibility had an effect.
SPEAKER_01: So does yours.
SPEAKER_01: So did David's.
SPEAKER_01: David doesn't act and it has an effect.
SPEAKER_01: David does not live up to his responsibility as a father to implement justice and reconciliation in his family.
SPEAKER_01: He does nothing.
SPEAKER_01: So the family dysfunction continues.
SPEAKER_01: Two years pass.
SPEAKER_01: Two years.
SPEAKER_01: And Absalom has been forming and he gets a plan to get back at his brother.
SPEAKER_01: 2 Samuel 13, 26 through 29.
SPEAKER_01: Then Absalom said, If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.
SPEAKER_01: And the king said to him, Why should he go with you?
SPEAKER_01: But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him.
SPEAKER_01: Then Absalom commanded his servants, Mark when Amnon's heart is merry with wine.
SPEAKER_01: And when I say to you, strike Amnon, then kill him, do not fear, have I not commanded you?
SPEAKER_01: Be courageous and be valiant.
SPEAKER_01: So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded.
SPEAKER_01: Then all the king's sons arose and each mounted his mule and fled.
SPEAKER_01: Point number two is this unresolved anger and resentment create more destruction.
SPEAKER_01: Just to review, Tamar is hurt.
SPEAKER_01: David doesn't do something, he doesn't act, creates a void for more problems.
SPEAKER_01: Absalom now has his brother killed.
SPEAKER_01: And the effect of that is now Absalom flees Jerusalem.
SPEAKER_01: He goes and lives with his grandfather for three years.
SPEAKER_01: And Absalom's interesting, right?
SPEAKER_01: Because the anger begins righteous.
SPEAKER_01: His brother, half-brother, takes advantage of his sister.
SPEAKER_01: So it begins with righteous anger, but the anger's not resolved.
SPEAKER_01: And the anger turns to resentment because he never processes his anger.
SPEAKER_01: He never takes his anger to God.
SPEAKER_01: He nurses it, he feeds it, and then he weaponizes it.
SPEAKER_01: Author Paul Tripp and counselor Paul Tripp, he writes this about anger in his book, Awe.
SPEAKER_01: You're not generally angry because things are in the way of God and his kingdom purposes.
SPEAKER_01: That would be righteous anger, by the way.
SPEAKER_01: You're angry because something or someone has gotten in the way of something you crave, something you think will inspire contentment, satisfaction, or happiness in you.
SPEAKER_01: All right, Tripp goes on to help us think about our anger.
SPEAKER_01: This is from his article, Good and Angry.
SPEAKER_01: The crucial question is: are you good and angry at the same time?
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: Because we would say at the beginning Absalom was.
SPEAKER_01: His sister had gotten hurt.
SPEAKER_01: That was righteous anger.
SPEAKER_01: But at some point along the way, it turned different.
SPEAKER_01: Look into your heart and humbly ask yourself this question: how much of my daily anger has anything at all to do with the kingdom of God?
SPEAKER_01: Then own and confess the places where it doesn't and celebrate the places where it does.
SPEAKER_01: Celebrate where grace has transformed your anger and seek the Savior's help where that transformation is still needed.
SPEAKER_01: Pray that you'd have a heart that's able to be good and angry at the same time.
SPEAKER_01: And I would argue that if Absalom had done that, he probably would have never moved into the resentment that then created the hatred to move toward murder.
SPEAKER_01: Now David is grieved over Absalom.
SPEAKER_01: Absalom murders Amnon, Absalom runs off, he's gone for three years, and David's grieved by this.
SPEAKER_01: So his buddy Joab gets this wise woman Tokoah to go to David and tell David a story.
SPEAKER_01: Well, tell David a story and he'll realize, he'll realize his mistake.
SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, that's what happens.
SPEAKER_01: Tokoah, the wise woman, tells the story.
SPEAKER_01: David sees his own mistake, and he allows Absalom to return to Jerusalem.
SPEAKER_01: 2 Samuel 14, 24, and verse 33.
SPEAKER_01: And the king said, Let him dwell apart from his own house.
SPEAKER_01: He is not to come into my presence.
SPEAKER_01: So you can come home, just can't see me.
SPEAKER_01: So Absalom lived apart in his own house and did not come into the king's presence.
SPEAKER_01: Verse 33.
SPEAKER_01: Then Joab went to the king and told him, and he summoned Absalom.
SPEAKER_01: So he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom.
SPEAKER_01: So finally David relents.
SPEAKER_01: Finally, David says, I, you know, a few years away, a couple years in the house, it's been five years, we haven't seen each other.
SPEAKER_01: Finally, we'll see each other.
SPEAKER_01: I would say not great fathering.
SPEAKER_01: Probably should have moved toward your son in communication five years previously.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: All this dysfunction, you see it.
SPEAKER_01: Hatred, greed, perversion, selfishness, and then a hesitancy to act, a hesitancy to fulfill your role.
SPEAKER_01: Point number three is this partial reconciliation without true repentance breeds further sin and dysfunction.
SPEAKER_01: Absalom really needed to apologize to David, like really repent.
SPEAKER_01: David probably needs to apologize to Absalom, that it's been five years.
SPEAKER_01: Like there needed to be a lot of repentance and reconciliation here.
SPEAKER_01: Absalom was gone for three years, home for two.
SPEAKER_01: This is a mess.
SPEAKER_01: And the mess isn't over.
SPEAKER_01: Because we have reconciliation.
SPEAKER_01: And Absalom spends the next few years presenting himself as a better king than his dad.
SPEAKER_01: And eventually he launches a rebellion, his own rebellion against his own dad.
SPEAKER_01: Point number four, pride and selfish ambition creates a rebellious heart.
SPEAKER_01: In the New Testament, we get great advice from Paul.
SPEAKER_01: Philippians 2.3, do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
SPEAKER_01: Now David gets this one right.
SPEAKER_01: His reaction to Absalom is very Philippians 2 3.
SPEAKER_01: He responds with humility and trust.
SPEAKER_01: Rather than push Jerusalem into a civil war, he says, okay.
SPEAKER_01: He takes some of his loyal followers and they just move out of Jerusalem.
SPEAKER_01: David trusts that God can restore him rather than throw the city into civil war.
SPEAKER_01: Samuel 15, 25 and 26.
SPEAKER_01: 2 Samuel 15, 25 and 26.
SPEAKER_01: Then the king said to Zadot, carry the ark of God back into the city.
SPEAKER_01: If I find favor in the eyes of the Lord, he will bring me back, and let me see both it in his dwelling place.
SPEAKER_01: But if he says, I have no pleasure in you, behold, here I am.
SPEAKER_01: Let him do to me what seems good to him.
SPEAKER_01: So David is trusting God.
unknown: Right?
SPEAKER_01: That's what preachers say.
SPEAKER_01: Trust God.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that sounds really hard.
SPEAKER_01: I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_01: Trust God.
SPEAKER_01: It's like, great.
SPEAKER_01: How do I do that?
SPEAKER_01: Like, I understand what you're telling me.
SPEAKER_01: You're telling me to trust God.
SPEAKER_01: I understand that.
SPEAKER_01: How do I trust God?
SPEAKER_01: How do I get the power, the motivation, the desire to trust?
SPEAKER_01: During World War II, a Dutch Christian woman named Corey Tinboom.
SPEAKER_01: She lived with her family above their watch shop in Holland.
SPEAKER_01: Here's a picture of their home in Holland.
SPEAKER_01: And as the Nazis began rounding up Jews, Corey and her family, they decide they're gonna hide and care for the Jewish people.
SPEAKER_01: Eventually, someone betrays them, they get caught, they're arrested.
SPEAKER_01: Her and her sisters are moved off to a concentration camp.
SPEAKER_01: And Corey survived the war.
SPEAKER_01: And she spends the rest of her life talking about God's faithfulness, how she trusted in God.
SPEAKER_01: Her story became known in a book and a movie called The Hiding Place.
SPEAKER_01: Now, what's amazing is what Corey is famous for saying.
SPEAKER_01: Here's what she's famous for saying never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
SPEAKER_01: Now, I usually reverse that.
SPEAKER_01: I usually act like God is unknown and act like I can know the future or project onto the future.
SPEAKER_01: What Corey is saying is put your focus and your gaze on the God that you know.
SPEAKER_01: Now, she didn't say that trusting God made life easy.
SPEAKER_01: She didn't say that she understood everything that God was doing.
SPEAKER_01: She simply said that God was with her and faithful.
SPEAKER_01: So how do we trust like Corey?
SPEAKER_01: Again, at this point, I've just said trust like Corey, trust like David.
SPEAKER_01: But how do we do that?
SPEAKER_01: How do we trust like David?
SPEAKER_01: That feels incredibly hard to me.
SPEAKER_01: I need some help.
SPEAKER_01: Or author, Jerry Bridges, he wrote a great book called Trusting God.
SPEAKER_01: And Bridges teaches three attributes of God that help us trust when it's hard to trust.
SPEAKER_01: Here's what Bridges writes: God in his love wills what is best for us.
SPEAKER_01: In his wisdom, he always knows what is best.
SPEAKER_01: In his sovereignty, he has the power to bring it about.
SPEAKER_01: So let's just ponder these three attributes for kind of empowerment toward trust.
SPEAKER_01: The first attribute is God's sovereignty.
SPEAKER_01: The question would be: is God in control?
SPEAKER_01: Well, we have a promise in Romans 8.28, and we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.
SPEAKER_01: Again, it doesn't say it's going to be easy, doesn't say you understand everything, but we can trust in God's sovereignty.
SPEAKER_01: He's in control.
SPEAKER_01: Attribute number two that fuels our trust, God's wisdom.
SPEAKER_01: The question would be is does God know what he's doing?
SPEAKER_01: Romans 11, 33, oh the depths of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God, how unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways.
SPEAKER_01: Attribute number three, God's love.
SPEAKER_01: Does God still love me?
SPEAKER_01: How could this happen?
SPEAKER_01: How can it be in this season?
SPEAKER_01: How could this be going on?
SPEAKER_01: Does he still love me?
SPEAKER_01: Romans 8, 32.
SPEAKER_01: He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
SPEAKER_01: It gives us a starting point, a root.
SPEAKER_01: It can be hard to trust God.
SPEAKER_01: What do I do?
SPEAKER_01: Well, root your heart and your mind in God's sovereignty, his wisdom, and his love.
SPEAKER_01: So this is how Bridge's teaching on trust could work itself out in our lives.
SPEAKER_01: God's sovereignty means nothing can touch my life that is outside of God's sovereign rule.
SPEAKER_01: God's wisdom means when I cannot understand God's ways, I trust God's wisdom.
SPEAKER_01: God's love means that his love toward me, his endearment toward me is not measured by temporary circumstances.
SPEAKER_01: The cross is the ultimate proof that God loves me.
SPEAKER_01: Now back to our story.
SPEAKER_01: Chapters 16 and 17.
SPEAKER_01: David eventually defeats Absalom, that rebellion.
SPEAKER_01: And we see after this, even after all this, David still has a heart toward his son.
SPEAKER_01: 2 Samuel 18, 5.
SPEAKER_01: And the king ordered Joab and Abishiah and Atia, deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.
SPEAKER_01: And all the people heard when the king gave orders to all the commanders about Absalom.
SPEAKER_01: Now, wild story.
SPEAKER_01: While Absalom is fleeing, he's on his horse, he rides through some trees under a tree.
SPEAKER_01: His hair gets caught in the tree, the horse runs off, and he is left dangling from the tree.
SPEAKER_01: You can't make it up.
SPEAKER_01: It's in the scriptures in 2 Samuel, 2 Samuel 18, 9 and 10.
SPEAKER_01: And Absalom happened to meet the servants of David.
SPEAKER_01: Absalom was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the thick branches of a great oak, and his head caught fast in the oak, and he was suspended between heaven and earth, while the mule that was under him went on.
SPEAKER_01: And a certain man saw it and told Joab, Behold, I saw Absalom hanging in the oak tree.
SPEAKER_01: David wanted mercy.
SPEAKER_01: David the father wants mercy.
SPEAKER_01: But Joab takes three javelins and kills him.
SPEAKER_01: The soldiers come along, finish him off.
SPEAKER_01: But the entire story is just a tragedy.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, all these chapters.
SPEAKER_01: We have perversion, abuse, trauma, rebellion, greed.
SPEAKER_01: And yet, and yet, God preserves David's throne through the mess.
SPEAKER_01: Doesn't that feel a little bit like your story?
SPEAKER_01: Like you and your heart and your life is a little messier than you thought it was gonna be.
SPEAKER_00: And yet, God preserves you and cares for you and loves you.
SPEAKER_00: Man, that's good news.
SPEAKER_01: Point number five: God keeps his promises to us despite our messy mistakes.
SPEAKER_01: Proverbs 19 21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is in the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
SPEAKER_01: Now remember that promise to David in 2 Samuel 7, 16, and your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me, your throne shall be established forever.
SPEAKER_01: I'm wondering in these chapters when David gets pushed out of Jerusalem, is he remembering that promise?
SPEAKER_01: And is he thinking, will God live up to his promises?
SPEAKER_01: Acts 13, 22 through 23.
SPEAKER_01: And when he had removed him, he raised up David to be their king, of whom he testified and said, I have found in David the son of Jesse a man after my heart who will do my will.
SPEAKER_01: Of this man's offspring, God has brought to Israel's Savior Jesus, as he promised.
SPEAKER_01: See, this story is a story about messy people and God's faithfulness to work through messy people to get his purposes done.
SPEAKER_01: The story of God's faithfulness it cared to David's messy family is a story about God keeping promises.
SPEAKER_01: And when he promises you, this is what it means for you.
SPEAKER_01: And when he promises you that he's with you, he promises you on the cross that you're fully forgiven, that he promises you from the cross that you're fully righteous, that he promises you that you are fully beloved son, beloved daughter, not because of your record, but because of Jesus' record.
SPEAKER_01: When he makes that promise, it is not based in your purity or impurity, your messiness or your cleanness.
SPEAKER_01: It's not based in your record.
SPEAKER_01: It is based in his faithfulness, that he keeps his purposes, his promises, despite us.
SPEAKER_01: The covenant survives not because David or humanity is great, but because God is faithful to messy people.
SPEAKER_01: And God's promises to you, they survive not because you are perfectly not messy.
SPEAKER_01: They survive because he loves you and he cares for you, and he said he would.
SPEAKER_01: And he lives up and he lives out his promises.
SPEAKER_01: And while King David's not perfect, we have a perfect King Jesus that we rest in, we trust in.
SPEAKER_01: If you have any questions about this sermon or would like prayer, I'll be down front afterwards.
SPEAKER_01: Love to pray with you.
SPEAKER_01: Let's pray together.
SPEAKER_01: Heavenly Father, we're so thankful that in such a tragic story you are still faithful.
SPEAKER_01: And while many of our stories aren't as traumatic as this, some of ours are.
SPEAKER_01: And I pray for a healing.
SPEAKER_01: God, I pray for a movement towards restoration of the heart by those who have been hurt.
SPEAKER_01: Would you help us to trust in you more?
SPEAKER_01: That you are faithful amidst difficult seasons.
SPEAKER_01: Would you teach us to trust in you and your sovereignty and your wisdom and your love that we might be empowered to trust?
SPEAKER_01: Help us to look back upon Jesus, that the promise has been fulfilled, that you are faithful.
SPEAKER_01: All the presence, all the forgiveness, all the righteousness we need is in Jesus, in King Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: Help us to gaze and behold him more.
SPEAKER_01: In Jesus' name we pray.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.