Walking The Way with Dr. Carlos Quijada

The Things We Carry Episode 2: The Weight of Expectations

Carlos Quijada

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0:00 | 25:15
SPEAKER_00

Hello, everybody, and welcome to a new episode of Walking the Way with Dr. Carlos Quijal. I'm so glad you're here today, and I pray that today's topic will be a blessing to you. Last time we started a new uh series titled The Things We Carry, and we uh initiated with a topic on those things that we were not meant to carry, that weight that uh pull us down. And continuing with that same theme, there's one weight that a lot of us carry, especially nowadays, that uh social media information, it's so available that we are able to access things that before uh it was hard to access, and and we tend to compare ourselves with other people, and that has placed a new weight upon people nowadays that it's expectations, and that's what I want us to share today. I want to uh talk about the weight of expectations, and I want to ask you have you ever felt like no matter how much you do, it's not enough? Many of us carry that weight and and and trying to be something that we are not uh because so-and-so does it, or or this other person is this thing, and and we put upon ourselves these pressures that we were not meant to carry. Uh, this invisible burden can leave us exhausted, can leave us anxious and constantly striving for approval. So, we're going to explore today how to distinguish healthy responsibility from unhealthy pressure and discover the freedom that comes from living for God's approval rather than everyone's expectations. And there is a difference between what is responsibility and pressure. When we go to uh the Bible, right, uh the book that us Christians use as a guide, we find that God calls us to faithfulness. However, the world demands perfection, and this tension can really provoke uh us to break down under the pressures of this expectations of trying to be something that we can't, and we set ourselves these impossible goals that it like the word says, they're just impossible. Uh, you know, last year I was able to do this hike in the Rocky Mountains, it was my first time there, and uh, one of the things that uh our the our leader he told us is don't carry too much weight. I I remember I was planning to bring my backpack and and a bunch of things, and they're like, you know, uh just bring water, uh like they say, travel light, uh, don't bring heavy clothes because it's gonna help you get to the goal. And when it comes to spiritual things, things that are not seen, we feel like we're carrying a backpack that kept getting heavier and heavier, not because you were adding your own things, uh, but because everyone else kept putting something inside it. Is this you? And if it is, uh I really want you to hear me today on this that I want to show you, because maybe these things that people have put in your uh backpack, if you will, may be families' expectations, perhaps it's the expectations of your employer or social media, or maybe expectations that you have put on yourself based on the things that you see and that you think that you should be. Some of these expectations may be well intended. Um when we think, for instance, our parents, right, or or people that we love, our friends, they don't intend to harm us, but unintentionally, they put expectations that can really weigh us down and keep us from achieving the place that God wants for each and every one of us. Um, these weights, these burdens can become chains that we carry for years. There's a a scripture in Psalm 139 that reminds us that our value comes from being created by God, not from meeting everybody else's standards. Even before you did anything, you were already loved, you were already uh cared for, you were already enough in the eyes of God for Him to do amazing things. And I want you to think about this as I'm sharing uh about this topic today. Years ago, we compared ourselves to neighbors. Uh, those of us uh Generation X and before that, uh, we remember a time, and and some older millennials as well remember a time when social media wasn't uh such a thing, and we had neighbors, we had friends, classmates, co-workers that we would compare with. But now we compare ourselves to hundreds of people every day, in some cases, even thousands, that we connect through the different platforms on social media. We see everyone else's uh highlight, real, even people that we don't know. We see them out there, and we have these points of references for us to compare with. Um, comparison convinces us that everyone else is succeeding while we are falling behind, and that's something that can really affect the view that we have about ourselves because we see people, and and obviously, I mean, when we think about it, people on social media they're not gonna show uh their failures, they're not gonna show their the time the times that they tried and things didn't work out, they're just gonna show their successes, the the best side of them. And those of us who don't know the backstory might have the assumption that they have this perfect, well-put together life, which makes us feel inadequate. Uh, it makes us feel that, you know, like what's wrong with me? And then we start trying to put up this image, and and and we become so anxious and sometimes depressed, thinking that there is something wrong, something broken about us. Sometimes we put expectations on ourselves that God never did. This is where I think, uh, you know, uh as a shepherd, as uh as somebody who works with people, as a counselor, that it's it puts a lot of tensions on people that uh come to me or to any person to seek help, and it's because they are trying to be who they weren't. Some of us are exhausted because we're trying to be the perfect parent, uh, perfect spouse, perfect employee, perfect Christian or or whatever religion that you're following, a perfect leader. God didn't call us to be perfect in our own strength, He called us to be faithful, and that perfection that we see in the Bible is one that we can only achieve through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We can't do it alone. A few days ago, I was sharing to the congregation that I lead about how Adam and Eve, their first reaction when they uh disobeyed to God is that they found fig trees and they tried to cover up. And and and one of the things I was saying is that this was the first human attempt to hide, to cover, to to try to be perfect through our own strength. And and we see how those things played out later on, and and God intervened, and and even today, he is intervening in those that opened their hearts to the work that he wants to do in them. Jesus never chased human approval as we see in his life. Uh, he set that example to each of us. Um, there were people that praised him, uh, and then they criticized him. We see the scene where he was received with uh palm branches and people saying, Oh, sanna to he who comes in the name of the Lord. And then just a few days later, many people were crying out, crucify him. And even his own disciples, many of them, they ran away and they hid for their lives when Jesus was arrested. And his mission, however, it never changed, he never lost focus. Why? Because his identity was rooted in his relationship with the Father, not in public opinion, and that is uh a key right there. Our uh perspective of ourselves should be rooted in that relationship. We have access to having a relationship of God with God, not through our own efforts, but through the work that He did for us on the cross. So if you are carrying that burden today, I am here to tell you there is an opportunity for you to take off that weight and to just surrender and be like, you know what? I don't want to live based on people's approval. I want to live for God's approval, and that approval comes through faith in Jesus Christ. Even before Jesus performed any miracles, when we go to uh Matthew chapter 3, it tells us about that wonderful moment when Jesus he goes to uh John the Baptist to get baptized, and John he's like, Lord, like I'm the one who should be baptized by you, and you come to me. And Jesus was like, you know, uh John, it's fine, let's do this so that all uh righteousness is accomplished. And anyways, Jesus, he went, got baptized, and then the Bible tells us that the heavens were open, and the voice of God was heard, saying, This is my beloved son in whom I am pleased. So even before Jesus performed any miracles, even before he did anything in public, any healing or anything like that, he already was God's beloved son. He was already approved, he was already uh favored by the Father, and his identity came before his accomplishments. Going back to the case of Adam and Eve, even before they did anything, they were already image bearers, God's image bearers. God had blessed them. It says, uh multiply, be fruitful, multiply, uh uh establish lordship over the fish of the sea, the animals of uh of the fields, and the birds of the sky, and and and and just in other words, you you have my blessings. And and that was even before they did anything. And and it's like I was sharing with uh or I've shared with people the first full day of humanity was the day of rest, and which was a day where God He ceases work. So even before Adam did a thing, he was already accepted, he was already found uh in a place of approval by God. But there are those voices of that tell us lies about ourselves. No, you're not enough. No, you need this, you need that, you need a better car, you need a better house to be successful, you need uh more money, you need, you know, and and there's all these things that keep telling us you need more, you have to be more, you have to be this and that, and we find ourselves in this uh uh in this cycle of trying to be approved by people, right? And sometimes we even fight or struggle for God's approval, and we try to do it in our own strength. You don't have to walk like that, you can rest and be like, you know what? I am who I am because God He created me like this, and and whatever God wants to change, He can do it through the work of the Holy Spirit through Jesus when we surrender ourselves, and this is not something that comes by us uh having more things or trying to compare ourselves with others, he has made you unique so that you can show God's glory, his love, his peace. It it all it takes is for you to implement the gifts and talents that you already have. Perhaps you you're not uh uh engineer or or somebody who uh has a strong educational background, but but you still have uh some skills uh that can also be a blessing to others. In the world, we don't need only one type or or the other, we need all of us to make a difference in the people around us. So here are some questions that I want you to reflect, and I want you to take ownership of these questions and answer them sincerely if you can. And and these questions are whose approval am I chasing? Right? Maybe it's uh a parent that made you feel that you're not enough, and even long after this parent has gone from this world, you're still chasing that approval. Well, maybe that parent is still alive and you inadvertently are trying to do things just to make that person be proud of you. What expectations have I accepted that God never gave me? Perhaps you think, you know, I need to serve in a certain way, or I need to, if if you're a preacher, I need to preach in a certain way, and and you're not being true to the personality that you have. Um, another question Am I striving to impress people or to be faithful to God? That's a very important question here. When there's those parables about the the the servants, and and at the end there was this phrase very famous, well done, my faithful servant. Notice that it didn't say, Well done, my uh extraordinary servant, or hardworking servant, or or perfect servant, well done, my faithful servant. God seeks faithfulness even when you feel that there's something missing, or I don't have this, I don't have that. Be faithful even with the little things, and God will bring the increase that is necessary to bring in your life. Another question: what would change if I truly believed I was already loved by God? I want you to ask yourself that today. What if starting today I would truly believe I am loved? I am already loved. You are already loved, my friend. Not because of what you've done, not because of what position you have or what roles you may uh be in. You are loved because God made you, He thought about you, yes, He was creating you in your mother's womb, He He had plans for you, and those plans are still uh uh relevant today. Maybe there are some things that you have done that have delayed those plans, but it's never too late to come back and be like, you know what? I want to live according to God's plans because I know that He loves me, that He can accept me just as I am, right here and right now. You don't have to go miles, you don't have to go deep into a valley or climb a mountain, you can be in your living room right now, you can be driving your car, you can be at a park, you could be at work, and there God is his eyes are on you and he loves you. Some might say, but but Carlos, like, I where's been God in those difficult times? Yes, he's seen your pain, he's seen your tears, he has seen how much you are trying, how much you have tried, and he's extending his hand to tell you, my daughter, my son, you have done a lot of work trying to find approval. It's time for you to lay down that burden and don't carry it anymore. Here's a challenge I want to give you for these coming days. Whenever you feel the pressure to prove yourself, ask yourself Is this a responsibility that God has given me, or is it an expectation I'm carrying because I'm afraid of disappointing someone? This is a very, very important question that is going to help you discern what belongs in our backpack and what doesn't. Now I want you to picture this. Imagine laying down a backpack that has been digging into your shoulders for years. I don't know if you have physically experienced that when you're carrying something heavy and you just put it down and you're like, oh man, that was so heavy. Imagine the relief, some things that you just didn't weren't supposed to be carrying. Just lay it down. It's okay to do it, it's okay to just put that aside and and then and just carry, focus on the responsibilities that you have as a human being because yes, we all have a calling. I I believe that God has called each and every person for a purpose on this earth. Focus on those purposes or purpose. I mean, it could be one big purpose, however, it may look, God knows what He decides, He knows what you can carry and He knows what you shouldn't carry. Through that relationship, you'll be able to tell the difference between one thing and the other. Because it's not about letting go of responsibilities that we should have, it's about stop carrying that weight that is crushing you down, making you try to live for other people's approval. Nobody uh has the that authority to say whether you are accepted or not by God. Only God has that power, and he tells us in his word that for so he loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, so whosoever believes in him may not perish, but have eternal life. All we need to do is put our faith in him and be faithful to the things that he has entrusted us with. Perhaps you're somebody who has a lot of resources. Be faithful with those things. Don't focus your life on trying to accumulate more resources beyond of what God has intended for you to have. Just be faithful with whatever you have. Maybe you don't feel you have that many resources. That's okay too. Be faithful even in those things that for humans might seem like little, but for God, it's like, you know, this is the treasure that I have entrusted you with. Be faithful with that. And if God sees fit to give you more, he will do it. You be faithful in your work, be faithful as a parent, be faithful as a child, be faithful as a friend, as a spouse, as how whatever it is that you do in this life, be faithful, do it with love, do it with passion, and do it with joy. And also keep in mind the rhythms of life that it's been uh allotted for us. There's time to work, there's time to rest, there's time to lead, and there's time to be led. Everything has a season under heaven. Just know the times that you are in right now. So thank you so much for tuning in in this episode of Walking the Way with Dr. Carlos Quijada. Thank you so much for uh being faithful listeners. Please share this uh podcast with your friends, with your loved ones. Be a blessing to others, and I would love to hear from you. Any comments that you want to leave, you can uh do so on my Facebook page or on YouTube channel, and also you can find me in different uh podcast uh platforms, including Spotify. So God bless you, and until next time.