Ashley Adams: Against all odds; Kidnapped, Homeless & Data Scientist gone Pilates Instructor

⚠️ Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of abuse, kidnapping, homelessness, and other sensitive topics. Listener discretion is advised.

Against all odds.

In the very first episode of The Precision Pod, I sit down with a woman whose story will leave you speechless. From experiencing abuse, homelessness, and even being kidnapped, she faced obstacles that would have stopped most people in their tracks. She was told she would never make it, struggled through circumstances beyond her control, and was not expected to graduate.

But she refused to let her circumstances define her future.

Today, she is a successful model, data scientist, and Pilates instructor who has built a life many would never imagine possible given where she started. In this conversation, we dive into the realities of surviving trauma, overcoming adversity, finding purpose, and creating opportunities when none seem to exist.

This episode is a reminder that your beginning does not determine your ending. No matter where you come from, what has happened to you, or what others expect of you, your story is still being written.

If you've ever felt like the odds were stacked against you, this conversation is for you.

Because success looks different for everyone.

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Because success looks different for everyone.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hi y'all, welcome back to the Precision Pod. My name is Bailey Mason, the founder of Precision Content. I am here today with the model fitness influencer, influencer, owner, founder of the Mono Method. You know, she does it all. Ashley Adams, how are you? Good, how are you? You make me both. I know it's like a laundry list of incredible things that you did. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

So tell us a little bit about yourself. I just moved to Arizona a couple years ago. It'll be two years on April 1st. Awesome. Yeah. Enjoying the heat? I love it. So I was actually born here. Oh, okay. And then I grew up first half in Hawaii. Made my way to California, and then I went to high school in Cal or New York. Oh wow. Yeah. So you've been all over. Yeah. Which one did you prefer? Oh man, Hawaii. Hawaii? Oh yeah, because it's home.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

Yeah, that's true. And I've been there once and it's gorgeous. Where'd you go? Um Maui.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Oh nice.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

It's really pretty. It's beautiful. Yeah. It's countryside, yeah. Yeah. Um, so straight off the bat, if you had one piece of advice for any profession that you do that you think that you have the most advice on, what would you tell that person?

SPEAKER_01 1:08

So my piece of advice for any profession is stop waiting for approval, permission to do whatever it is. If you have an idea that's implanted in you, whether you believe in God or the universe, it's planted in you for a reason. So listen to that guy. I spent so many years going against what I want and being embarrassed to admit for the things that I want. And now it's kind of like I should have been doing this shit the whole time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

When you shifted that, was it something you felt immediately like you knew, like, oh, this is a difference? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

So as soon as I started to admitting, so there's steps, right? Um, growing up, I was I have a people pleaser. So I of course I had opportunities come along and I always said yes to them. But when I started to realize like this isn't aligning, I started to say it in the mirror first to kind of get used to something like, no, I want this, you deserve this. And then I would admit it to other people, and they're like, of course you should do that. Like, I can totally see that. That's you all day. And I'd be like, Really? You guys see me like that? So it's kind of like I was stopping myself. And yeah, it turns out you don't need to be have permission to do anything. For unsupervised adults, yeah, you have free will, just do it. If it's implanted in you, there's a reason why you have that idea.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

And now that you have that mindset, and I guess like your whole business entrepreneurial mindset that you have, do you think that that has changed the type of people you are in relationships with, you're friends with? Like, has that shift become apparent in like relationships? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

So I again people pleaser. So at first I was like, anybody's point we love me, of course, you can come along for the ride, but the way I also grew up is very different. So I had to long time ago learn to be very selfish with my personal space and with my personal life. So people think they know me, but they really don't. Yeah, they see what I let them see, which can be good or bad, and whoever you are is looking at it. But at the same breath, I only want people around me, and I say this often, that want to build empires, that have a positive mindset because I'm impacted emotionally. I'm a very emotional person. I don't want that near me. And I also want to leave this world and be in this world in such a specific light and kindness that I don't have time or space for anything else that doesn't align with me.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

Has that made social media like your presence on social media difficult? Oh yeah. Yeah. I just thought you actually restarted your like whole rebuild Instagram situation. You have my choice. Yeah, yeah, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

It's been fun. So, and that is a great example, is where I and I was just talking to somebody, like you were so and I still think I am put together, but I was so put together, I was niche down, and I give great confidence motivational advice, and here I am starting over, and I have to be very self-aware as to what I say and how I say it, because I can be very bitter, right? We can have a chip on our shoulder, we can be negative and not realize it and how it makes other people feel. I've even told one of my friends he was on his story and he was drunk and he was saying very negative things, but he was trying to be positive. Like, you might want to reframe that because that might make other people feel a different way. So I mean, my goal, my mission is still the same, but the way in which I have to show up, I still have to every day be like, okay, how does this come across? How do I, you know, not get affected because now I'm starting over? How do I not? I'm like, I'm jealous.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

Like and your account had grown so much when you lost it. Like but I mean it when you have like the personality that you have, I feel like it'll be easy to get back to that.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Yeah, and that's the people see social media as this thing that is very curated, which it is. But the people that are successful are the people that are authentic and the people that have personalities. And I have stopped myself so many times from growth, and I know this, we all work on it. It's like I water myself down, I dim it down because I'm so hyper-focused on what everybody else wants, and like some days my best content is when people see the realmate.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

That's what's right.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

So a lot of I guess the demographic of this podcast is for are for people who are trying to figure out what they want to do, their next steps, um, if college is in the books, seeing people who are successful in building their empires and how they got there. So I kind of want to take this back to high school and did you know that this was gonna be your life? Did you see this vibe? You're smirking, I'm intrigued.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

So I don't know how you want me to start this. Okay. Absolutely not. Let me put it this way: my counselor straight up looked at me and said, You won't even get into community college. Okay. Yeah. Um, my parents, my mom was a single mom. I say that with the caveat is that my dad was very abusive. By textbook, he's a narcissist. I know people throw that word around a lot. Yeah, we ended up in New York because we were hiding from him, and my mom was a single mom. She was looking for somewhere safe to raise me. Yeah. It was better education out there. But she was an only child. I'm an only child. Okay. Yep. And um, she worked nights. So you I had a traumatic childhood. You let your mom work nights so she lives alone. Guess what I was doing? I was not doing the greatest thing. Yeah, in New York as well. Where it was Buffalo, New York, so not New York, New York. Yeah. But still, and I was in the country, but a lot of things happened in the backwoods. Uh-huh. Yep. So I was doing a lot of things I shouldn't have. I don't want to say I raised myself because my grandparents were around. My mom, my grandparents, they did the best they could. I was just a traumatic. I just needed counseling. I just needed a therapist. Yeah. And I coped the way I did. Um, so yeah, my senior year, I missed, I think, uh 80 days. And they were like, and I'm didn't know that I was smart. And because I didn't go to fifth grade, my dad had kidnapped me, so it's gonna get weird. Yeah. My dad had kidnapped me and like brainwashed me and took me to California saying that my mom didn't want me anymore. So I say kidnapped, and you always see the amber alerts of like, oh, they're with their parents. That kid is safe right away. Yeah. But going down the line, that kid is there's a reason why that kid's not with that parent. Yeah, like abuse is inevitable. So I endured a lot of abuse. I didn't go to fifth grade, he never made me go to school, he didn't feed me. I was very malnourished when he went to prison. And so when I was in New York, they were like, You have you're not even supposed to be passing fourth or fifth grade. We don't know what to do with you. Funny enough, because I was 5'7 and I'm 12 years old. They're like, you know what, we're just gonna have you in middle school. Oh, yeah. You're gonna be picked on picked on too much if you go to elementary. So six foot fourth grader. Right. So that is the reason why I didn't get held back, which is wild to me. I don't know if that would happen today. Probably not.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

I feel like pe they they help they hold people back more now than like yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

I remember sitting in the principal's office and like thought it was wild when I was 12. Yeah. Because they're like, well, if you do w bad in sixth grade, we'll just hold you back in middle school. That would make sense. And like I was embarrassed. I was like, well, I'm gonna figure it out. So I had lost two years of education, so I felt like I was just like trying to catch up at all times, and I was always in the slower classes, I always felt stupid. And so again, senior year, I was like, fuck this all, they're gonna say I'm not gonna graduate. But take it back is I'm really I'm actually really smart. So they let me take the test by graces of God. I passed everything. Wow, good. Graduated and I got into community college, which obviously wasn't that hard. Like, I don't know why he was so rude about it. Yeah, it's not that hard to get into community college, but that's when I paid a tutor. Okay, and I was like, you know what, this is no longer an excuse. I am not a victim in my life. Um, I don't want to be behind anymore. So that is how I got into college. I went and got my bachelor's all the way up to my master's in data science.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

Wow, yeah, that's in data science too. That is awesome. Thank you. Yeah, and so when you graduated and you're like, okay, I'm awesome, like what just happened? Like, where did you go from there?

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Oh, so after graduating, I went for to a community college for social work. I love old people. Okay, those are my people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Do you think that because you got raised by your grandparents that that kind of I think you know, I never thought about that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

I just think they're so funny. Yeah, they're so cool. Well, also, too, in high school, I worked at a nursing home as my first job at 15. Okay. Wow. Um, so that helps, but also made me mad at how they're treated. So everybody in my family are social workers. I figured social work and I did a lot of interning. There's no money in it. Yeah. And it's depressing.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

A lot of nonprofit, yeah, a lot of death.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Yeah. Then like I loved the work and the clientele because I worked in a nursing home as a social worker. It was amazing. Their family sucks. Yeah. Yeah. So I got out of that. I went into finance randomly. Okay. Yeah. For this. I'm gonna do finance. Yeah, I don't know. Because I moved out when I was 17. Okay. So I and you're in New York still. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I moved out when I was 17, so I had to pay bills. And it just I was like, the social work is not even back then. That sounds I'm not that old. I'm 31. Back in like the 40. 40 grand? I was making 40 grand a year. No, I was making 30. And it still wasn't enough. Like to me, that wasn't enough. I was like, that's not the goal, that's weird. Yeah, that's low. Yeah. Today is very low. Yeah, that's like not livable, like barely livable now, yeah. But that was like the cap for social work. So I went to finance, and the cap without a degree was 45. So I worked my way up, I became manager. That's awesome. And thank you. And then I said, Well, you've hit us glass ceiling because you don't have a degree. So I went back, got my associates, got my undergrad in finance, and then yeah. But all during this, I was serving. So my okay. I've always been like I said, I've always said yes. I just was like, I should be going to college. Everybody says I should go to college. Yeah. Everybody says to do this, everybody says to get married. I was in a relationship that like with the guy that can't what kind of podcast is this? I mean just like your journey to Okay. Um, just let's just say we made out once in our four-year relationship. Okay. So but before him, even that like I was getting cheated on, and like because I was trying to narrow down you get married, you make 45.50 a year at this time. You get the I got I bought a house. Yeah. Bought a house with a bite picket fence. Wow. Had the dog, had the boyfriend that we were gonna get married. I don't like him. Yeah. He cheated on me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

Yeah, okay, yeah, we don't like him.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Yeah, we don't like him. So that was okay, figure this out. Ended up with a guy again was with for four years, still trying to go by everybody's cut and mold of like this is what life is. And you go to college because nobody in my family had like in my immediate family had gone to college and graduated at that time. So that's what you do. And so I was like, okay, I do this. Um was miserable, but again, very naturally smart, and I'm blessed that way. That when COVID hit, I was serving tables and I was putting myself through college. I had met somebody that was opening a Michelin Star restaurant and offered me a job uh running all through that yeah. So it was like this great opportunity. I'm a very big people person, and yeah, everybody's like, You're gonna work for him, he's a millionaire. He's how do you know it's gonna be a Michelin star? Like, you know, people are like downplaying it, and I was like, you know what I'm gonna go for it. Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, it was a great opportunity. Well, COVID happened, events didn't happen, yeah. Um online events, yeah. Literally, oh my gosh, the amount of yoga classes I taught online were insane. Because I'm also teaching yoga at this point, too. Like I've always been in the fitness industry. Um, that's a whole nother story of like how I was almost 200 pounds at one point because I was so depressed. Yeah. Of just trying to fit this mold that was just so didn't feel good to me. Yeah. And you look incredible now.

SPEAKER_03 13:21

If you're listening and you can't see the video, she's gorgeous. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

I lost 60 pounds. It was too it was 60 pounds of just depression. Yeah. I during this time I was suicidal. I called a hotline one day, a boyfriend cheated on me. No, it was another boyfriend that wasn't even that serious, but he was doing drugs and using me for money, and I didn't know. And I was just at such a low point because I had just gotten cheated on. And it wasn't even really a serious boyfriend, it was just so much at once, and I was going to college and working 60 hours and trying to do all the things that it just came became a toll, and I was like alone. I had no family. I still have no family in New York, they're all over here. Yeah, so I had no family, and I found myself literally looking over an edge, like, this isn't right. Like, why do I feel like jumping? And I called the hotline, like, check yourself into the hospital. So I did, and that was just another part of my journey. It's just like, why does this feel icky? I'm very intuitive, and I had to work with another part of that, which is like working through that. So after undergrad or during undergrad the last semester, I got that job offer to do events COVID happened. Yeah. Um, the billionaire guy had another company that he could like selling medical medical devices. Okay. So I did like admin work for him for a couple months. Okay. How did you meet him? Um, just through serving. Oh, okay. Yeah. So just through serving, yeah. So I said, just go with it. You don't have to like know everything and how. I always ask people what they like to do. I don't ask people what they do, I ask them what they like to do because that tells me more. So you just get to know. Usually it's different, unfortunately. Honestly. Yeah. Because people ask me what I do, I'm like, oh, I'm a data scientist. Oh, what do you like to do? Actually, I teach Pilates. Yeah. Actually, I'm a data scientist though.

SPEAKER_03 15:08

Just drop it like it's casual.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

But um so I did admin work for him, and I had topped off unemployment, which was really nice. Yeah. So for my first time since I was 17, I didn't have to work. And I had this boyfriend that I had just met that was supposed to be great. He was 10 years older than me, which is really gross. Yeah. Honestly, I was 24. Oh. And he was 34. And I'm about to be 32 next month, and I'm like, he's like 40. I was like, I know I was on the phone with my mom the other day, and I was like, he just turned 42. He's an adult man. I was like, I wonder what he looks like. Oh my god. You've gotta find him. Oh, I know what he looks like. He actually ages he ages well. Oh. It's only been a couple, it's been three years. He's been ages well. He doesn't look 42, but like he's starting to wrinkle. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

Um but you should get him on the mono method. Honestly, he hates me.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Oh, I'm the um well, because I held him accountable for his like he's a loser, so. But we're getting there. People don't like that. Yeah, yeah. We're getting there. So I met this amazing guy. My boss hooked me up um, well, my from the restaurant. They graduated together. And I he was 10 years older. I thought he was supposed to be smart and mature, and I everything he said and did I took for his word. So, like when I needed my met my needs met, like I wanted to hold hands. I'm a very touchy, feely person, very lovable person. He just like, oh, I don't do that, and like he made it seem like oh he's more mature than me. Oh and it was very and he was very toxic and emotionally abusive. Um and also in my head a pedophile because you're 34. Why are you talking to 21? Yeah, whatever. Um, so but it was I always say everything happens for a reason. The way I keep getting jobs and how I keep going in life, everything just keeps happening. So I got an employment, he had a house that he said that he owned, he did not. Oh, catfished me with his house. Oh um, it was his parents, and he's like, Oh, you don't have to pay rents. So I'm like, Oh, okay, cool. So I sat at the pool all summer. Um just graduated college, yeah, and everybody's like freaking out, and I'm like teaching yoga online. Like this is a vacation for me. Yeah, so they said, Well, you have to the end of summer, you either have to go back to school or you have to get a job. And I was like, getting a job? That's wow, I've been working for 10 years already. Uh so I scrambled, it was July, the middle of July 2020. Master programs, applications were due August 1st or something crazy like that. And I was just like Googling stuff, and I don't know how I found data science. I found coding, and I was like, oh, what is this? I taught myself how to code in two weeks. Applied to grad school, got in, and that's how I got into grad school. I'm honestly gonna tell you, I'm not that great of a coder. I kind of just fake I always say I fake it till I make it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so I got my master's in data science. Um, got a my job that I currently have now in the middle of my program where they let me do work and get paid full-time and all my projects were through work. And who is it? First City Group. Okay. Yeah, so it's an international banking company. I say fine. So I work internally. Okay. So I report to the board of directors. So I'm not in banking, it's not finance, it's internally.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

When you tell people this, do they like are they like kind of like taken aback? Because I feel like, especially on your social media, I feel like you're so just like you're like so girly and like out there, and then you're like, no, I in the back end of data science and financing. Are they like what?

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Okay. I actually really, really don't because it becomes it becomes a topic. I'm not passionate about it. Yeah, okay. When I say it, I always say it to people that I I feel like I have to when I talk to men. Because you know when you talk to men and they just don't like, oh I'm a police instructor, like and they don't, I don't feel that respect. I'm like, yeah, no, I'm a data scientist. Yeah. And that's it's shitty. That's how I get that's how I get their attention. But no, I don't tell often that many people, but it's funny because people at work, I'm still me, very much. Yeah. So I'm on phone calls, like, oh my god, guys, I had this shoe last time. And they're like, actually, what is your life? And I'm like, yeah, well, if you want to follow my social media, like the other side of it. Yeah, and so it's funny because I have my clients, our board of directors, and they're the C suite execs, and they're like, and they're like, I saw like your weekend. I was like, that's another reason why I'm very particular why I put on social media. Like, I don't, you won't see Ash choice on my social media. We have like Jeff Bezos on the finances. Yeah, I'm like, actually, what was this? The see the CEO of my company, she's a woman. Okay, awesome. We love that. Yeah, we do. That's why I love the company. I'm like, I don't work for women though. Yeah, yeah. Very conservative Middle Eastern men, so yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

Wow. Yeah, that was just like I I don't even know what I was expecting, but that took me up, down, sideways, all through it. But that's so incredible. Thank you. Do you think that if you were to do it again, knowing, I guess even not knowing the outcome, would you have waited to go to school until you felt like ready instead of just this is the timeline of things that are supposed to happen? Or are you like pretty happy with how you lived it?

SPEAKER_01 20:52

I don't know. That's a good question because I'm type A. Every day I time block every minute of my day. It took me a long time to like not be freaking out that I'm three minutes late, right? Yeah. It took me a long time to adjust. COVID helped with that, thank you. I just leveled up people down for sure. Because I was a little I was a little toxic with that.

SPEAKER_03 21:13

Yeah, it was a little crazy, but we love the self-awareness.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

But I think that my life is so by chance of me just being like, okay, how can I be better? Yeah. And how do I get more? Because I grew up so poor. I was homeless when I was little. I joke and it's not self-deprecating, is that the word? I don't know. It's not self-deprecating. I dropped out, so um, but it's I was trailer park trash. Okay. I grew up in a trailer park. Okay. I was homeless in Hawaii. Everybody says, like, oh, you grew up in Hawaii. I did. It was a beautiful life. I grew up surfing, going to collaborate and stuff like that. But there were times where we lived on the beach. We lived out of a car. So I grew up Hungry for more. I grew up looking different.

SPEAKER_04 22:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Feeling different because I grew up around I say melan melanin deficient people. Yeah. Melanin melanin deficiencies. Caucasian people, but my dad, my dad is white too. So yeah. But I just grew up looking so different and because there was so much trauma growing up, I felt so different. So it was just like this again, that inside of me, fighting the inside of me, like I want this, but it's not aligning to my outside world, so it must be bad. It must not be okay, it must be wrong. But now it's like everything planned out how it's supposed to.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

Yeah. And I think it's just so inspiring because you did follow the like trajectory of normalness, I guess, for like timeline-wise. But the way that you went about it so differently is like so inspiring because it's like, yeah, you went to college, but it wasn't like my parents fully funded my four years, and then I went to undergrad, and I'm just like, oh yeah, I just got in, it was fine. Like you had to build it to that, and I think that that is so inspiring. I mean, for me, school, like high school was easy, but I went to college and I'm like, this is hard, but I also am not passionate about it. And so like you being able to make that, and then you're now here and you're a data scientist and you're doing everything that you love. We're sitting on a lawn where you do yoga classes with Pure Green, like, what is life? That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

I wake up that sometimes too. I just had this conversation with Chaz at Pure Green. I was like, I because I'm regrowing my social media, yeah, and I never got jealous before, and I always say jealousy is just an indicator that that person is inspiring you. Yeah. So take that feeling, flip it, and say, Ha me too. Me next. Yeah. How do I do that? But now, because I'm regrowing my social media, I'm like, I'm kind of jealous. Yeah, yeah. It's like there's I wake up every day and like, wow, this is my life. Yeah. I wake up some days and I'm like, wow, I really just left my purse like all spread out on the floor. Like, who am I? Like, this is the silliest thing. No, no, it's awesome. The things that I didn't have growing up, it's like I can go shopping, I can I can do this. I wake up and teach Pilates. I woke, I did content today and was rolling around on the ground. Like it just amazes me. But it goes both ways. Is it amazes me? Sometimes it's like, okay, it could be more.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

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SPEAKER_01 25:06

I'm turning 32 and I feel very behind. Which is insane. Wild. I know. Because in the back of my head, my dream is still to be a like, I don't want to say I was talking this having this conversation a lot lately. It's like I say a stay-at-home mom, but I want to be a housewife and have five kids. Yeah. Have that. Yeah. And run an empire. Yeah. And be so good to where. And I never had that vision before. I never even thought I wanted that. Like I was working towards it because people told me to. But the way my path went, I was so rebellious rebellious against. And now you want it. And now I want it. But it was everybody else saying it has to be this way, this way, this way. And I'm like, actually, it doesn't. I actually don't need a nine to five. Yeah. I like it because I like health insurance. Yep. That's that's a good instability. I always tell people like I am the man and the woman in my life. Like, yeah, my masculine side is my data scientist job. I have to take care of me. Because that has always if you anybody knows me, you don't fuck with my finances. I always say, don't fuck with my finances because if something happens to me, my family's not showing up for me. I will literally be sleeping on the car. I've slept in my car.

SPEAKER_04 26:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Um, so that is my masculine side. Everything I'm passionate about is my feminine side of where I get to create, I do content, I model, I model for my just for the hell of it, it's so much fun. You're gorgeous. People love you.

unknown 26:26

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

It's so much fun. I and that's something I had to learn how to do to get that was another thing that was in me. And my grandma was a model when she was younger, and she would have to like, she would teach me how to model. But when you again grow up looking weird, right? Because I don't look different, or I don't look like everybody else, I look different. You don't feel pretty. So it took me a long time to be like, oh, I am pretty. Like it's okay to say that I'm pretty. I've had people be like, You think you're so pretty? You're like, I thought so. I have 10,000 people following me. Oh no, this was like little old me serving tables, and I remember this one mean girl. I'm so I'm so so sensitive, and that's why I don't people say they don't get along with women. I don't because I'm so sensitive. Yeah. Because I will you'll make me cry. Yeah. He's like, he's like away from. I remember this guy was hitting on me. I was like, he was trying to get my number, and I was like, I think he's and I was like little shy little mouse, yeah. She was just like, you just think you're so pretty, don't you? She's like, You think everybody's hitting on you? I was like, that was just like a thousand, one of a thousand of examples of like, okay, I probably wasn't getting hit on. Yeah. You probably were though. But yes, people are so mean.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

And I mean, this is I think social media is so difficult, and I know that that wasn't online, but I want to get your thoughts on, and now that I've learned like you were 200 pounds at one point, you have always been into fitness, like you're a Plotties instructor now. Like that is kind of the the face of your socials. What do you think? Before I guess I give you a specific question, what do you think about social media just as a whole and focusing on like women in social media?

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Ooh, hmm. I mean, I have a thousand. Nothing black and white, right? Yeah, yeah. So I will say at my big old age, yeah, 31. I mean, my Instagram that just got taken down, I've had since 2010, 2011. This is just so sad. That's funny. And when it started, I didn't even do it right. I thought it was just like a photo editor. So I just like used the filter. And my feed was so chaotic. It was just me and my friends in study hall. Yeah. I literally remember being like in my little cheerleading uniform and just being like, game day. It's over that. But I've seen that side. Yeah. And then I think mid-20s, I had when I was going through it, I had that yearning to be on social media. And I was around people that are like, You think you're so cool, and like you're nothing, and like down talk to me. I was like, okay, cool, cool. Um, so I've seen what I've been that woman to be put down, right? But I think, and this goes back to saying, like, your life is what you create it to be. Yeah. You're in I like the joke of like you're in a simulation. I don't allow people that don't align with who I am as an individual, whether it's like, for example, I'll even use this because I really don't care. If a friend says they're one person, right? And I take and I love that person and I expect them to be who they want to be, and I say, you know what, I'm really against, let's say, drug and alcohol abuse, physical abuse, and they're like, Oh yeah, my ex like was a physical was physically abusive, a lot of drinking, yeah, and you know, they're trying to change your life. As soon as that person, I have to hold that person accountable for who they are, right? So they can say all the things, they can be all the things. When I see them moving differently and I hold them accountable and how they react to how I am expressing how I want my life curated, as soon as out of line, I don't care. Yeah, you're out of my life.

SPEAKER_03 30:19

And being sensitive, is that a hard boundary for you, or is it kind of like to that point you're like, no, I don't care?

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Um, I am a very sensitive person. It took me a long time to become unsensitive. Yes. Because my father, again, was a narcissist. Yeah. And I tell people, I cut off my own father. He calls me from rehab, from halfway houses, from hospital. He's dying. Whatever. Yeah. Um, he's been dying for years. Yeah, I feel that. Yeah. So if I can cut off my father, yeah, I can cut off people that I want, I always I want to build a community. That's why I started the Mana method.

SPEAKER_04 30:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

So that goes to social media too. I block a lot of men.

SPEAKER_04 30:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

I keep men in my life on my socials if when I met them in person, like, you know, like they were nice. Life. Yeah, life. Um, or it's it sounds shitty, but if they could do something for me. Yeah. Like I mean woman in STEM here. You gotta do it. You gotta do it again. Literally, woman in STEM. That's that's awesome. Bye. But I won't, but like I mute them, I delete their comments, I don't engage because yeah, you can support me, you can watch. Yeah, if you cross a line, you get blocked. Yeah, that this is my life, and I have to say it's a blessing to be in it. If it comes off vein, it comes off vein. But I would say that about you, yeah. Like I it's a blessing to be in your life and to even know you. To meet you was like great. And then I keep watching. Of course. I am honoring this, and I think it's so cool that I'm here with you. Yeah, and you're doing a podcast. Like, I wouldn't choose any other world, and I would never put our relationship in jeopardy by being somebody I said I wasn't. Yes, yeah. I will hold myself accountable for you, but if somebody doesn't hold their self accountable, I'm like, no, yeah, you're out.

SPEAKER_03 32:04

I I yeah, I respect that a lot, and I think it does take a lot to put up that boundary, but I think that when you find the people that do respect it, it's gonna be way more powerful than if you just let people walk all over you. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

And they can build empires and be happy and rich.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

Yeah, yeah. Checking off all these boxes. I'm I'm obsessed. But yeah, I mean, even going back, like for me, it's like I'm sitting here, even when you go back to follower count, and like people get way more recognition when they have a million followers, whatever. I have my 400, almost 500 followers. I'm chugging along, been in this for a while, and you had like 15,000 when your account got shut down. Like, that's so crazy that social media has that uh what positive like side to it, and you get to meet people, and like this is so fun. Like, I have imposter syndrome all the time, because I'm like, what do you mean this is my life? Imposer syndrome is so real, so real, and I feel like I mean, yeah, I'm just feeling so inspired. I'm just so obsessed with you.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

I do want to say that I was just talking to one of my um brands. I have brand deals, and I was talking to one of them, and she was just like, it was so inspiring because I had commission off of my code or whatever. Yeah, and I was like, oh my god, even with my little viewers, like my code's getting out there. And she was like, I have somebody with 10,000 followers that are is making five thousand dollars in commissions. She was like, and it's not the people that are liking it, it's not the people that are following you, it's the people that are seeing it. So at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. And there's another aspect of social media that people don't realize. My followers, I would say probably a lot of them ghost followers, right? We all have ghost followers, like thousands of them, because if you have the money ghost followers, yeah, because I wasn't getting 15,000 likes or whatever, yeah, yeah. But I would say about 60% of those people I've met.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

Really?

SPEAKER_01 34:00

Yeah, so my favorite followers. Am I allowed to have I'm allowed to have favorite? I have my favorite, like my loyal followers. They um they're people I met. Yeah, like I have I call my airport boyfriend. Oh yeah. Our 10-year anniversary is 60. We met on my 22nd birthday when I was from coming from San Diego to New York. I was visiting family for my birthday, and he never had a girlfriend. I was like, you know what, you're my boyfriend, just joking around. Yeah, and you're still in touch? Yeah, and he found my new Instagram. He was like, Are you okay? Like, he's like, You're good. So that's what I'm saying. I yeah, people around that inspire me. Is he single? You know, he um I'm like, this is like out of a book we never went that way. Yeah, yeah. It was just like a joke because he never had a girlfriend. He just engaged in his with his like his very first serious girlfriend as adult life and having a baby. So I'm like, congratulations. He's like, You have a brother, maybe but um, yeah, like those there are people I've met. Yeah, and I and I've always gotten more followers the more you do. Yeah, and it's it's very intimidating to be somewhere like I just did the yoga festival in Scottsdale, yeah. And to sit up on a mic in front of hundreds of people. I think it sold out to 700, but I think I taught like 200 people. Wow. Sit up on a mic and be like, hi, my by the way, if you want to follow me, my new Instagram the Ash Adams. I'm like, this feels so odd, yeah, but that's how I've always done it. Yeah, is and you have to promote, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:35

And like you, my my poppy always says to me, he's like, you're selling yourself. And like I think there's a lot of negative connotation behind that because people are like, you're selling yourself, you're selling yourself, blah blah blah. But it's like, no, like we are our brand, and when people like you, they're gonna follow you, they're gonna wanna be interested in things that you're doing, and I think that that like you have to self-promote because I mean, what else are you gonna do? People don't like look on billboards anymore. Like, that's actually one of my goals this year, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

I mean that's yeah, but um I see Rafi actually, the auto in front of the sky. I guess yeah, I use my own words.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

Get on a billboard.

SPEAKER_00 36:15

We are voting Rafi. Nobody's not even from here. I'm not even from here.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

I've seen like 17 billboards on them. Like, who is the I know?

SPEAKER_01 36:30

So funny. But um, I've actually had people tell me, and it's at first it was a little rude. Okay. I took it rude. I would take offense to it. I would go to modeling jobs, yeah, and they would tell me, oh my god, you're so bubbly and beautiful in person. You should promote yourself better online. I'm like, oh because I do censor myself as to again, we all do, and I'm still working on it, as to what I see because I again want to curate this life. I want people to see I only want to add good kindness to it. So my Instagram got hacked. Yeah. I could have been chip on the shoulder, like been like nasty about it, but no what we're gonna do. We're starting again. Yeah. I cried, okay. I was like, you act like it didn't bother you. I was like, you can't let them see you sweat. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:15

I I can't even imagine, to be honest. Like you handled it so well. Thank you. Yeah, and again, like I'm saying, I think people will really respect that, and that's why you will build up so easily from this because you're not like mad outwardly.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

Outwardly. Yeah, I have to check myself, and I have to remind myself I have to internalize that this is actually a good idea. I have I like to say manipulate- I manipulate myself. Yeah, so I think about it this way I just cleansed my life from a bunch of mean girls that I you know those girls that you want to unfollow and you just you can't. Like you can't, yeah, but she's like if you unfollow it becomes a whole thing. Yeah. So men don't get that. No, men do not understand that.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

No, because they're like, I don't girl. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

It's a women thing, and it does matter because who am I selling to? I'm selling to women. Yeah. So I was like, you know what, it just cleansed all the mean girls. Yeah. It cleansed everybody I went to high school with that was mean to me. That I had a guy before it got hacked, he was in my DMs, right? I had the biggest crush on him in high school. I I would have a lot of crushes in high schools. I don't think boys are that cute. No offense. Like, I so if I had a if I have a crush on you in this lifetime, it's like you better think you're got shit, because you probably are. Yeah. He actually grew up to be nothing also in high school. But he was in my DMs, and I thought it was so funny. And then finally I looked him up on Facebook, he's got a girlfriend. I called him out on it. I was like, you were so mean to me in high school. I made out with his cousin for a you know what that I don't know what my um like logic was behind that. Like, I'm gonna get him, I'm gonna make out with his cousin. I mean high school math, high school girl math, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:58

You're not in uh guys' DMs with a boyfriend, so I feel like you won this. I won this.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

But like I cleansed all those people because again, I'm trying to create a community. I'm not selling to him. No. If anything, I'm pissing off his girlfriend, I'm losing life. She's gonna see my client on my page and be like, why does my boyfriend follow this girl? Because we all do it, we all take our man's following. Yeah, yeah, no. So I cleansed all that. I've like ta told him, I like manipulated, I've gaslit myself, like, you know what, this is for the best.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

And that's good. I think that's a healthy gaslight. Sig with that answer. Yeah. So with modeling, kind of shifting focus to that. When did you start like officially modeling?

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Officially, officially. It was November of 24. Oh, kind of recent. Yeah. So I grew up. I was in Hawaii. I was a bay watch when I was a little girl. Actually, yeah, for surfing. So behind it. Um that's like I like a black watch. That's a great flag. I know. I was a bay watch. I wish you knew the BHS back in the day. We don't have anywhere. Yeah. I personally didn't.

SPEAKER_03 40:07

Actually, no, I think when I was little, I watched One Tree Hill on VHS. One Tree Hill was on VHS. I think. That's crazy. On like the little rectangle.

SPEAKER_00 40:21

The rectangle box. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I did. That was, I think, the in Twilight.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

Really? Yeah. I think it came out when I was in middle school. What years out? Like 2008. So it could have been. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:45

We yeah. Because I almost yeah, because I my mom had like the whole series, and we'd watch like all of the seasons of laundry. How do you got into a blockbuster? Okay. I haven't been inside, but I they like they were around. I had one that was definitely money laundering next to my house for a while because no one went in there. They were probably money laundering next year. They had to live there because they were a long, way too long. Yeah. Like actually, since we road tripped here, this trip, um, I have seen more rug stores than I've ever seen. They're all money laundering. You can't, you cannot convince me that people shop at Alberto's.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

What's that? The f the Mexican store, the Mexican restaurant. It's like they're open 24-7. They're never busy. They've gotta be good. Their burritos are really good. Okay. But they're never busy, they're open 24-7. Drugs. Super so I don't know what you're doing. Burrito's good, so I don't care. Keep it coming.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

As long as there's no drugs in my burrito. But what were we even talking about?

SPEAKER_01 41:54

BHS. BHS. Oh, Baywatch. You're on Bach. Oh yeah, Bawatch. That's my little my little plug, my little flash. Um but when I was in New York, I was again this I was this height. I'm 5'8. Yeah. Oh, I was 5'7, but and dorky looking, but you know, adults say you're pretty because you know when you're a little big kid and everybody tells you you're ugly, and there's actually adults are like actually really ugly. Um my mom tried to put me in modeling and she wanted to make sure I had a uh a normal childhood. Yeah. Because I had already gone through so much that she was just like, if I put and I just talked to her about this recently, and she's like, you were so traumatized. I was um physically and emo uh physically and sexually abused as a kid. And my mom tried to put me she put me in therapy once, but you don't put a kid in therapy. It doesn't do anything, yeah. It just doesn't. Um I don't know what the right answer is for kids like that. But it that wasn't my right answer, mine was rebellion. Yeah. Ums and it was, you know, doing shit I shouldn't have been doing. But she's like, if I would have put you in modeling at that young age, it could have been really bad. Like I had the body in the hips of a grown woman. I was in clubs at 15.

SPEAKER_04 43:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

So it could have been really, really bad. My mom was I was getting hit on by grown men. Um so we didn't go that route, but my grandma would put me in fashion shows.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

And she modeled when she was younger. So she would like set up the camera and we'd like have photography shoots and she would teach me like how to like do my eyes. Yeah. And I remember my mom being like so mad about it because she didn't want me sexualized. Yeah. But looking back, my mom was just being more protective. Because they weren't that bad. It was my grandma, like she was even better. Um at one point I was in like a lace dress that came up to hear and like down to my knees. And then I was like posed like this though. My mom was like, I was too mature. I was like, okay. Mom, yeah, trying to do something. Trying to be cool here. Um, but after that, there was no modeling until I moved into the city of Buffalo. So in 2021, I became an influencer and I started creating content and then people were hiring me for commercials and not even big commercials, just like random things.

SPEAKER_03 44:13

Was that like a good ego boost for you? Or were you just like I've been doing this since I was a kid, doesn't really matter. It was embarrassing. Really? Yeah. That was very embarrassing. Because you didn't want people to like you knew? Like new to see.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

Yeah, no, it was I didn't want I cared, I was such a people people pleaser, and I cared so much what other people thought. Like I've always been confident. I don't know, I can't even say I was confident. I think confidence helps levels, and I've always worked on my confidence. Yeah. And that's why I always say, like, I'll be a confidence coach all day long because there are different levels. Yeah. And at that point, I was working on being confident, and you have to learn how to. I'm confident in data science, right? Yeah. If you tell me to go be a truck driver tomorrow, I'm not gonna be confident. Yeah. I mean I'm like I feel like yeah, but I'm not gonna be like an astronaut tomorrow. I would have got confident. Yeah. So it was just like that level, and then the back of your head you hear all the people that say every time you tried something new, like, oh, who do you think you are? Right. And when I'm when I walk into rooms, and it's funny, I'm still this way. If I taught I taught 200 people at the other festival, it was so much fun, I was so confident. Yeah. I didn't know a single person, and I like it that way. Yeah. If I know people in the and I like to have like okay, I like to have one people, like a couple people like comfort, right? Like if I know I know somebody's over there, it's comforting. But when I know people like my clients and it's something new, it becomes I don't feel confident when doing something new. So when I was doing all that, it was kind of like this is embarrassing. I'm scared for people to see and to admit that I want this. Yeah, and I had a mean girl situation there. Um, oh man, she traumatized the shit out of me. She traumatized me so much that I can say I'm finally healed from her as of last year. Yeah, and that was years ago. She and she did, and as I said, I'm so sensitive. Yeah, like I will hold on to what you say to me forever and let it eat at me. I'm very, very emotional. Um, but she scarred me, and I went through that with her where I ended up working with for her, teaching yoga at her studio, and she just made me so little. And at that same time, I became a life coach.

SPEAKER_04 46:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

And I was getting clients out of her studio, but I wasn't stealing them. She wasn't a life coach. Yeah. She was a fitness instructor, she was the owner, she was all these things. But I'm the life coach, yeah. Yeah. And it includes nutrition, it includes workout plans, but I was sending them to her.

SPEAKER_04 46:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:49

So I would had a portion of my life coaching is finances. I help you with your finances. I have the background. That's awesome. Thank you. First of all. But women don't because women they're they don't know. I'm literally in search of an accountant as we speak. Yeah, well, yeah. I mean, I'm not that great because I could I could be better. I'm sure you're great. I accountant sounds very responsible. I'm like, I'll figure that shit out doing my show. Yeah. Um, I'm I'm great, but I'm not organized, we'll say that. But I was helping with that. And she had released a program through her gym to help women become financially and emotionally and physically better. And I called her out on it, and it was my program, verbatum, and I called her out on it. And at the time, because again, confidence is level, and she had spent months belittling me when I like when I got my plies and sh uh certification for Matt Pilates, she had me try out. It was random. She's like, Hey, I need you to teach. I know you haven't taken your test yet. Can you come try out and see? I want to see where you're at with your certification. I was had a bad day at work. I went down, and I was that you know, when you walk into a room, the energy's off. Yes. I felt the energy. I should have walked back out and said, No, like I'm not trying out. It was such a bad tryout that she it I messed up everything. It was only like 15 minutes, and it was in front of everybody because she had the whole class stay after one of her classes. It was very mean, she didn't set me up for success, absolutely not. She embarrassed the fuck out of me. Um, and she sat there critiquing me. And afterwards, she and I could take criticism. Yeah, she beat little the way she said it was so bad. I went into the gym next, like there was a gym next door. I went and sat in the dark in the boxing room crying for about two hours before I went up to because it was in my apartment building, went up to my apartment, and I was just so embarrassed. So when she released that, so that was months of like just bullying, like subtle bullying. And then when I saw that she released that program, I called her out on it, and then she called me, and she was she's one of those girls, like, hey babe, I just want to call you because I don't like to go over text, and I just really want you to know. And I'm like and I just a fake. Yeah, and I was like, What is going on? And she gaslit me and was like, This is actually my gym, like I'll run whatever. And she's valid, run whatever you want out of your gym. But I called you out for stealing my program, yeah, like word for word, yeah. And sure, take your clients. They didn't go to her, they didn't go to her. Um, they saw it, and she was like, you know, things stick with me when people say something. She says something like, You are probably way better than what I could ever offer you. And when she said that, and I was like, you know what, you're right. Yeah, and I use that all the time when I get offer I get job offers all the time for studios, and one day I'm gonna open my own studio, one day I will work for myself because you're right, I am probably way better, and no one's better than what but I'm better for my community, my clientele, than what anybody else can offer. Yeah, so if I'm building this community, I will for sure be b the best at it. So I forgot the question. Me too, but you know, I that was incredible. I think I answered it. I think so. Okay. Modeling. Yeah. So the confidence thing. Yeah. So that was Buffalo. When I came out here, um, I was living in Wickenberg, I know you don't know where that's at. Nope. It's north in the middle of nowhere. Okay. Probably drove through it on the way here. Yeah, you drive through it to get to LA. Okay. Um it's nothing about old people, the smallest, most country, bumpy-esque. You know what? And I'm country. But there's there's not even like there's one gym, and no, it's like a 24 hour you clock in, clock out, yeah. It's gone out, and it's got like one squat. It's like the size of this. Yeah. It's very small. A 10 by 10, yeah. And it's all old people, and I was driving up here, and I was again getting into content. I was like, that's how I meet people. They'll show up, like, I'll show content for you. Yeah, I'll do it for free. As long as whatever. So I was doing that. Um, I met Kim through the most wildest story, and I was doing content, and she's like, Hey, why don't you come model for me for a modeling shoe? And I was for a hotel at Ever Since Up. And I was like, Okay. Yeah. And then I I modeled, and I am grateful for her forever for like giving me the opportunity. I will say any opportunity after that was mine because she didn't, she didn't get me. I will always be that person that will never owe anybody anything.

SPEAKER_04 51:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:36

At the end of the day, there's people, I mean, I'm gracious. I'm sitting at Pierre Green because people believe in me, right? Yeah, yeah, but it's because of who I am and who I choose to be. And I did that modeling with her, and I told her one day a couple months later, I was like, you know what, I'm gonna model. And we were friends, and she'd check in once in a while. She's like, I see your model. I was like, Yeah, I told you I'd do it. Yeah. So it became this whole thing of like, I do it for me, it's so much fun. And you meet so many people, and it's actually it sounds vain, and I don't really care anymore because I like myself. I'm at that point where I'm like, I love myself. I've worked really hard to love myself because there were so many times I hated myself that I'm okay with it. I teach Pilates, so I show up for other people. When I clock in as a Pilates instructor, everything in my life disappears. Yeah, I'm so honed in on my clients. When I'm at my full-time job, well, I should be more honed in there. Yeah, you know what I mean? So like when I model, my brain turns off.

SPEAKER_03 52:37

And that's just time for you. Yeah. You're helping people with their fitness, with their mental. So, like, I think it's good that you have somewhere that you're passionate about that's just you. And you don't have to worry about anyone else because it's like if you fall, that's on you. That's on anyone else.

SPEAKER_01 52:51

And it's not that deep. Yeah. I tell my clients that about Pilates, like, like, I don't care if you look stupid, if you do it wrong, it's not that deep.

SPEAKER_03 52:57

What is the most surprising thing that you've found through modeling?

SPEAKER_01 53:06

The most surprising? It's gonna sound silly that I'm pretty. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 53:10

Like I don't like that's a personal surprise, I guess. Yeah, like because I think you're pretty.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

I think a lot of people think I'm pretty like you're the person. This is new scene. No, but it's we don't own mirrors. It's just like just because when you're like people will hire you, like, is that the surprise?

SPEAKER_01 53:30

It's like the the aura. Okay. So anybody can be pretty. Yeah, literally anybody. Yeah, if you take somebody that's not pretty and confident on the inside, it's boring. And I've seen it. Yeah. So when I am in a room and I walk a fashion show and I see my after pictures, I'm like, who is that bitch? Yeah, who is she? Like, it's crazy because it's a different version of me that I don't get to see. Because no, there are no mirrors when you're modeling. Yeah, yeah. You're in front of a camera, you're listening to if it's a photo shoot, you're listening to a thousand things being said, people touching your hair, you're making it, and but it's fun. Being that person being like, let me win the being like you want shot. Can we just like tell me when to smile? Yeah, like it's fun, but that's why I love I'm very picky about photographers though, because I want it to be fun. I don't want it to be like that anymore unless it's paying enough. Yeah. But even the fashion show, you don't see yourself, yeah. And all you're thinking is like how are you being perceived? Yeah, yeah. And then you see yourself and you're like, holy shit, I am that bitch. Yeah, like that's so cool. And that was never, and I think anybody can do it. Any and it sounds it's not rude, it's not judgmental, but when I meet other models who tell them my age, like, holy shit, I'm like, yeah, Asian Asian don't reason. Like, I but then I get to know them, and they're like 15 signed models making like so much money. Yeah. And I'm like, good for you, because it took me a long time to get here because they had that confidence, like, oh shit, I am pretty because they're not boring people, yeah. The boring people that you see are like the com sounds so bad, like the commercial, like anybody. I saw a guy, you know what uh FS8 is? It's a Pilates, you know what um F45 is? Yeah, so they came up with a branch, an extension of their company where it's reformer Pilates, so it's called FS8 or something, and this is sounding so bad, but it was like this middle-aged dude with a horseshoe balding spot, and he's talking about his reformer journey. Love that for him. Yeah, I don't know if he's a real person, but he actually does reformers Pilates, so I'm like, but I know after being in modeling, they are made he made like about five thousand dollars on that one commercial. Jeez. Yeah, and I'm like, all it took was the audacity and the confidence to be like, I'm assuming he's a model, like to be like, um, actually, I am trying out for this commercial and I'm getting it. So he was like basically said, you know what, I am pretty. And he is in his own way, because I said everybody can be pretty. Commercial sales, obviously. It's a good commercial, yeah, yeah. But yeah, that was my surprising thing, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 56:11

What I what's the hardest thing?

SPEAKER_01 56:16

Um patience. Yeah, so I guess I'm very type A. I like to be on schedule. I'm getting better, I'm getting way better at that. Uh also because I have so many things on, there's no way I would ever get on schedule for anything. But when you have big productions, you know, as a photographer, like you just there's no way everything's gonna be on time. Yeah. And then people don't know that fashion shows are all glamorous. You get ready for hair and makeup by like 11 a.m. Yeah. You're sitting there for five hours. You're not allowed to eat, you're not allowed to leave, you're you can't sign it off. Yeah. So you're just sitting there. Um, and then you walk and it's over in like seconds. Unless you're doing multiple designers, which is fun, but again, then you gotta wait. And it's over. Um, so I've learned a lot of patience. I've learned to control my emotion. Like my, you know, my receiving best face. Yeah, yeah. Like my emotions don't show on my face. Um, because I again want to be be perceived. I never want to be that difficult person to work with. Yeah. And I just want everybody to have a good time, so it's kind of like, you know what, let me just sit back and chill.

SPEAKER_03 57:18

Yeah. Yeah. That's a good thing that I feel like you you even spun that positively. I feel like a lot of people could be like, I like I don't know, like something negative that would be hard. And you know you still spun it. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 57:30

I get hangry, don't worry.

SPEAKER_03 57:31

Yeah. I know, right when you actually said the no eating part, I was like, yep, you could not. No, yeah, I get what you're saying. And speaking of that, actually, with modeling, with fitness, with everything. Imagine it wasn't recording that was like paranoid and good. I don't know. Yeah. Uh with like all of those different things and like what's happening in Hollywood and like Ozempic. Oh, what's happening in Hollywood? Like, yeah, like yeah, like that.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

The Ozempic takeover, I guess. Like, what are your thoughts on that? Oh man. So I've had to work on this because again, I was 200 pounds. Um, and I have to be very give other people grace because I'm like, if I can do it, anybody can do it, that's toxic. Yeah, it's very toxic. Um I also have a lot of islander families that are obese, have diabetes. I've had family die of diabetes and lose feet, and so I've seen the unhealthy side of life. My mom has always struggled with her weight. I wanted her on those epic because it needs to get it's a boost, right?

SPEAKER_04 58:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:45

Um with the whole thing of having to, and I've dealt with again a lot of this myself. So my build is thin. Yeah. But I'm not the fucking word. Hair the saying, heroin chic thin slim. Like, you know, like like you know, the like I can't you remember um the hills?

SPEAKER_03 59:09

Um do you know who Lina like Kristen Cavalry? She was on the hills, right?

SPEAKER_01 59:13

Oh, is that her the same? I think.

SPEAKER_03 59:15

But you know, like that era.

SPEAKER_01 59:16

Yeah. They're very tiny, petite. Like not muscle, just thin. They're just like thin. Yeah. They're petite people. I've never been that, I've never been petite. Okay. So I'm very thin, slim, but I'm not petite. Yeah. So I was never in that category. Yeah. What was the point? Um Osempic. Ozempic. Um, so I've never had I I gain weight easily, I work out, whatever, but I also gain weight, I can lose it. And if like right now I'm very thin, I'm very self-conscious. So I've always been self-conscious of in Hollywood, Kardashians came out, right? Yeah. Ash cheeks for days. Love that. Yeah. Okay, love that. Um, I don't naturally have this big bubble ass. Yeah. Blah blah blah. Yeah. Um, I am toned because I work out. Uh my genetics aren't just it's not giving Kim K. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. No, yeah. Okay, in the era of BBL, but that gave me so like my ex, he would make comments that my ass wasn't big enough. I was like emotionally abusive. Yeah. His friends would even say, Oh, I'm gonna say the same. JT loves big asses, and I would like, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna grow my ass. And I would, and I would go, I my weight would fluctuate, and then I was too big, and so I went through that period of like I have to look a certain way to meet these Hollywood standards and be accepted and be beautiful. And again, it took me a long time to be like, you know, my body's actually amazing. Yeah, at the end of the day, I am going to have kids and it's still gonna be amazing. Yeah, I worked on myself, so I had to I had to I'm still working on that mindset of like if I can do it, anybody can do it. Yeah, if I can lose weight, anybody can. Um, but I know that like Osempic is like a big thing for people. I am very natural, I'm not I'm not on birth control. I'm celibate for you now, so like that doesn't even matter. But also, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't do birth control. I try not to do any medications, like I'm very natural and I just think that most people can do without. I don't and I think it'll be back to the BBLs and the big booms in just ten years. And it's very unhealthy for women to flip-flop their weight, and I know that because I did it. Yeah. I did it to be accepted. And at the end of the day, who's stuck with me? Me. Yeah. The boys are gone. Yeah. And I have I struggle with that still because I'm not gonna, if I'm being completely honest, when I talk to guys and I see the guys that they like, or the girls, yeah, the girls um when I see the guys, the guys that I like, the type of women that they go after, and they're like, oh, you're so pretty, and I'm like, I don't believe you because none of them look like me. Yeah, I can't look like that. I can grow my ass all I want, but it's not gonna stay unless I try. Yeah. And I I have so much going on. I want somebody to love my body for me because I love me for me. Yeah. So whether or not, and that's easy for me to say because I'm like what 140, yeah, whatever. But this is me at my healthiest.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:17

So it's not like I'm doing it saying that because I'm skinny, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I feel healthy, I feel good, and that's all that matters to me at this point in life. Everybody should be that way and they should work on getting there. But again, how they get there is up to them. If my mom goes on Olympic and it's that Kickstarter of like, okay, now I'm feeling confident, let me just take the natural path. I don't need it anymore.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:40

Yeah. Which is what it's supposed to be. Yeah, yeah. It's supposed to be a booster, just like not a lifelong yeah, it's not a solution.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:46

It's n it's the it's the tour guide.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:51

Yeah. Yeah. On the way. And like with modeling and being around those like 15, 16 year olds that or any age, honestly, that you're with. Do you think that the current standard of like teeny tiny has been have you seen a change in that?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:09

Honestly, I'm I'm shocked. Culture, I don't so I don't watch TV. I don't like give into social media. I know I'm on social media, but I don't like I don't consume that kind of stuff. So I'm like, don't know what's on trend. I know like heroin she is probably coming back. Yeah. I heard that somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:26

Heroin, okay. I okay. I'm I'm back. I was like, okay, yeah, heroin shik. I know what you're trying to like.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:32

Yeah, yeah. I th somebody said it was coming back the other day. Um I think it is. Is it? I think so, yeah. Because it was empic, right? Yeah. But Kim K's got still got her BBL. Oh yeah. She says all standards.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:45

Yeah, her voice is tiny, though.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:49

Is it? It's tiny. That's not realistic. No. I guess I should probably look at her. You should. You know who's really skinny right now is Chloe. And I used to really look up to her. And I saw her arms one day and I caught her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I caught myself like her arms are so good. I'm like, mmm, that's not good. I should go up to that right away. I was like, I should not be thinking that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:09

So you're that is a hard thing to undo though. Yeah. Cause like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:15

We all I I don't know how I was thinking that too. After I was like, how does she do that? Yeah. Who does that? Because there are things where like again, my arms, people are like, oh you're so muscular. It's genetics. I have I'm got Polynesian in me. Yeah, like it's genetic. I but to me, they're I don't want to say fat, but they're not as slim as I want, right? Yeah. So to me it's like when I see arms like that, I'm like, damn, but it's how I feel about you. Yeah, and that's how can I get those? And everybody has their perception of like what healthy is, and it shouldn't be that way at all. It should just be like the feeling and the abs, and it's so funny because yeah, I post my abs because I work hard for abs. Yeah. But at the same time, it's I do it for me. Yeah. So you think like definitely healing from the inside out will help oh yeah, I've had yeah, I've had life clients that life coaching clients, I've helped help them lose 50 pounds and we start with their mental health.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:11

I never whenever they come to me, they're like, okay, let's try to look. We're not even it's a six-month program. Yeah. Like we are starting with your mental health, and then and then they start with their mental health and then they start losing weight without changing their diet because they're cautious, they're conscious, they're self-aware, they're happy, so they're not reaching and they're doing fun things, they're doing activities, they have the energy to do things, and then I'm like, okay, now we work on the physical. Yeah. Are you in therapy right now? No. I miss it. I was just thinking about the other. I miss my therapist. Yeah. My insurance changed because I moved here. Oh, not the coolest therapist. I I'm like, I think I'm her favorite. Yeah. She came to the Scotstone one day and she told me afterwards, she was like, I was just wondering, thinking about you. She was like, it wouldn't be okay if we met up, but she's like, Maybe one day in the future, I was like, Oh. So this is my confirmation, my validation. That I'm your favorite.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:02

You're thinking about me on vacation.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:04

I'm definitely your favorite. And we like laugh and joke all the time because of my cut of body. But no, I really miss therapy. Yeah. I recommend therapy for everyone. Me as well. Everyone should be. In therapy, honestly. Most men should be in therapy. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:21

Oh yeah. Um, from your experience, is being in any of your industries or like just I guess, yeah, any of your industries more lonely or more um what's the other word? Like what was the other word? Oh, friendly. Just are they more of a friendly or a lonely environment? Oh. Or I guess even since you're building your um your empire, is that lonely or friendly? It in your opinion.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:56

Oh, that's a good question. Okay. So I would say both. Okay. I'm very, I'm I very much agree that life is not black and white. Um I never say that I'm lonely because I love being alone. Yeah. But I would choose it every day. I I will people think it's depressing. I was talking to my friend about this. I was like, I am excited for life, even if I die alone and have to raise the kids alone. Because I love my life, but I'd rather do it alone than do it with the wrong person. Yeah. That's a good insight. Yeah. But I'm still alone. I'm still human. Yeah. It's still sad times sometimes. I was crying this morning. I'm still a girl. Yeah, yeah. And um yeah, so lonely. I don't love that word lonely. Um, well, obviously, because I don't feel lonely. Yeah. I feel alone because we are human beings. We're supposed to be interacting. We are not put on this earth to be isolated. We learn that through COVID. We know better.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:59

Um and friendly, I I would say, so more supportive is what I'm thinking of. Like lonely it is, because yes, at the end of the day, it's me. But if shit doesn't get done, it's on me. I do my events, I put I say I set them up by myself, and I'd rather it have that way. I'm so so stubborn because I don't want to owe anybody anything. Right? Me asking for help has like been a new thing in the last couple years. So you hate it when you scale though. Yeah, you I do. Yeah, and that's where it comes into having that curating that right support because I am so grateful for Pure Green, specifically Chaz, to just shout out Chaz. Shout out Chaz. I will forever be grateful for that man. I just want to fucking squeeze him. Of like to meet somebody randomly in the way that we met, and him be like, Yeah, cool, let's do it. Yeah. And that's the type of person I am. Yeah. But I've never had that mirrored back to me, and that's how I know that I'm on the right path because you attract who you are, right? Yeah, yeah. For him to be like, yeah, let's do it, bet. And I'm like, what? What do you mean what do you mean? I can do it. He's like, yeah, let me see what your vision's about. And I was like, okay, bet. Let me throw a Galantine's together in two weeks. Yeah. And so to have that's what I'm saying, building the that empire, empire, having that support around me. When the people that are falling away from me that don't fit that mold, Kim, right? When they don't fit that mold, it's sad. That's a breakup, right? I don't care if it's a friend, a boyfriend, a business partner, it's a breakup, it's emotional. You have to feel it. And that part feels very lonely. But then I'm looking around, I'm like, I can call up Chaz and be like, hey, I want to do this crazy event. And he'd be like, Bad, let's do it. Yeah. And then like I was just doing content with Silly George, and I was like, I want to do this. And like, okay, we'll make it happen. I was like, what? Yeah. Like, what do you mean? They're like, yeah, we'll we'll figure it out. Like, I'm going to London and creating content for them in July. Wow. Yeah, I'm so excited. That's incredible. Yeah, I'm gonna model over there, I'm gonna do content. And we were sitting there practicing, thank you. And we were talking about we're I don't know, right? My life. Um we're talking about as I said, I feel like I'm not enough, but there's so many things going around. Yeah. Um, we're talking about my birthday and how I want to do an event at Pure Green Park birthday, and she was like, Let's make it a birthday party, I'll get a cover. And I was like, You would do that? And that's the kind of people, and it's not even what we can what they could do for me, it's again the community of being supported. So that friendliness is there and that respect for each other is there. So as long as they hold themselves accountable for the type of person I think they are, yeah. I hold myself accountable and hold myself to a higher standard. I think that the people that are meant for me will find me. Yeah, and all I gotta do is show up and I gotta chill. So do you think that you have more support from strangers or from your community? Oh, we always have more support from strangers. Always you're com I shouldn't say that because I'm trying to build a community. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's the people that don't have any preconceived notions of you that don't expect anything from you. Yeah. Because when people expect things and they just want to take, yeah, they're not gonna support you. They're there for their own selfish account. So it's the people that again that have that same mindset and energy that are like, oh, I see you over there, I'll support you any day. Yeah. And then they become your people, and then that community builds. So that's true. It's kind of both.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:31

Well, thank you so much for doing this. Thank you for doing this with me. I feel so cool. I feel so cool. I feel inspired. I'm like, whoa. I think people will truly benefit from this more than you know. I truly think. I did. Oh and I I knew I well, I didn't know you because obviously I just found out so much, but like I learned so much and it was helpful for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:54

Oh, good. Yeah. See, to me, this is life. Like, we get so stuck in our own head. Like, this is life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:02

She like comes in and we're here meditating.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:05

Yeah, I'm just trying to get to the next. I'm like, yeah, I'm good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. I can't worry about it. Yeah. My whole life has been by not by accident, but kind of like just like, oh by chance. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:17

But that's so interesting though, because you're not very good with the flow being type A.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:20

Like, how do because when an opportunity comes, yeah, I just say, yeah, why not? Yeah, okay. It's like, okay, yeah, why not?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:27

And then we type A in after that. How do we type?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:30

And then we take control. Yeah, yeah. It's like, it's chill until we need to get there.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:36

Like, he's like, let's do an event. I was like, I have it like and planned.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:41

We're done. You have to be tied back. Yeah. Honestly, that's success. Yeah. But thank you again. Is there anything you want to leave us with? Is this my vlog? Is it your vlog? Is your time to plug? Oh my god, your whole laundry list.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:56

Where do I start? So on TikTok and Instagram is the Ash Adams. Uh, if you could please follow me, I'd love to have you in my community. We can curate our lives together. Run my own Pilates events, the Mata Method. Follow that on Instagram too. Follow that on Instagram. It's the Mata Method Pilates. And you know what? One day I might have a franchise of studios everywhere. You might see me pop in the city near this.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:19

It's also weird to say. Can you please come to Portland?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:23

Oh, I have family in Portland. So that needs to happen. Yeah, my film for you. I actually owe them a visit. I tell them like two years ago once I moved here that I would go there. I have cousins and I have a lot of family in Portland. Oops. They're all over here. My grandma was one of like 14, so I'm like getting there. Um yeah, what else? I I feel like that's it. But so yeah, if you follow my Instagram, the Ash Adams, you'll see everything that I'm about. I work a lot with Silly George. You can follow them. I only work with brands that really align again, just like they are people that align with me, and that also includes Pierre Green. The most, the most I could cry.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:02

I really I just changed what you're doing for now. I've literally been like it's been a day. It's been like a day, and I'm like, I just love Pierre Green so much.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:13

But it takes just one person to just be like, okay, cool, let's do it. Yeah. And it only takes one person to change your life. And hopefully I can do that for you. Yeah. You can do it for the next person. You do that for the next person, just keep it going. But yeah, follow me on the Ash Adams. Only let's do it together. What's going on?