When Success Stops Feeding You: And What You Can Do About It.

What happens when the life you worked so hard to build no longer feels like you?

In this episode of “Not Depressed. UnFinished.” Dr. Ardeshir Mehran speaks with Loredana Regep, MD, a physician, former global biotech leader, integrative health coach, Positive Intelligence coach, and creator of The Elevation Method™, about the quiet moment when achievement no longer nourishes the soul.

Together, they explore the difference between ambition that expands you and ambition that empties you, the inner voices that keep high achievers performing old scripts, and the courage it takes to stop being the actor in someone else’s story and become the writer of your own.

This is a conversation about reinvention, whole-person health, conscious leadership, and the life still waiting to be lived — not after collapse, but after truth.

Key themes include: 

• The "two transparent sheets" metaphor for the widening gap between the life you planned and the life you want
• The danger of mistaking burnout for overwork when the real issue is misalignment
• The difference between expanding ambition (values-driven) and hollow ambition (status-driven)
• The role of positive intelligence (PQ) and the "sage vs. saboteur" framework in shifting from fear-based performance to love-based living
• The courage required to let a successful life evolve into a truer one.

Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://youtu.be/GFh7VTPN3HM?si=n7NGNAJUyOxkDKNi

TIMELINE

6:03       Opportunities that no longer held joy; instinct to return to medicine

7:26       The signal grew louder until it could no longer be ignored

7:45       Where did the signals come from? An inner calling to help people directly

10:49     Many people channel the calling into systemic change within their organizations

11:45     Burnout reframed, not overwork, but misalignment of who you are and what you do

12:34     "Living by somebody else's script" — deciding to become the writer of your own life

14:07     High achievers apply more discipline when they feel pain — it doesn't work

15:14     "I don't think I'm going to make it to retirement" — a pivotal realization

15:52     What does life look like for those who are doing better on "God's scale"?

16:33     Past the failure feeling: being in the lead of your own life for the first time

17:09     When life gains meaning and purpose; colors become brighter

18:13     Research on post-retirement depression; living a life of intention

18:22     Celebration of life; a clean house, cooking, smiling at strangers

19:37     Ambition that expands vs. ambition that empties  

21:03    Hollow ambition: short-lived joy, external status, identity tied entirely to achievement

21:43     The "wilderness" after achievement — addiction and distraction as coping mechanisms

23:32     Loneliness on the path — who understands? Confiding only in husband, then one leader in Canada

24:49     A clarity moment: "I'm simply becoming something different"

25:07     Feeling crazy, feeling like something is wrong with you

25:23     Advice to listeners — the "younger Loredana" message: acknowledge, explore, reach out, you are not alone

27:07     Spiritual journey as a companion — 30 years of inner work as a guide through lost moments

29:02     What is PQ (Positive Intelligence)? Saboteurs vs. the Sage

29:43     The inner critic as origin of imposter syndrome

30:43     Career fueled by fear of not being good enough → learning to perform from love

31:19     The "I'm not good enough" narrative — guilt vs. shame; messages learned early in life

CONTACT LOREDANA REGEP, MD

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/loredanaregep/

Website: loredanaregep.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You're not depressed, just unfinished. This is the podcast for leaders, high achievers, and entrepreneurs who have built impressive lives on the outside and yet sense something is dying on the inside. If you ever stared at everything you have accomplished and felt strangely empty, this show is for you. One of the business leaders of our time, Kevin O'Leary, has said, The salary is the drug they give you when they want you to forget about your dreams. Our conversation today is about dreams, professional, personal, yet at times we forget about them, we make compromises, or we totally ignore them. What happens? Why do we do that? Are there better ways? My guest today is a physician, Dr. Loridana Rajab, joining us from Bucharest, Romania. She has an amazing story that you should know of the journey of changing home, changing jobs, changing practice, professional, personal, and a dream that got quiet but never died, and in fact came back roaring and says, Lori Donna, show up. So it's a story we need to hear it about what is that journey of being your dream looks like. She has multiple credentials, degrees, certification. Welcome. Where are you joining us from?

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Hi, Ardeshir. Hi, everyone who's listening to this podcast today. It's really a pleasure to be here today. And by the way, Ardeshir, I don't think I've ever heard my professional and personal trajectory, both through I would say, career and through the world, described so eloquently as you have today. So I'll have to actually maybe ask for copyright for that statement in the future.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

But to answer your questions, so as you mentioned, I'm currently located in Bucharest, Romania, where I returned actually at the end of October last year. Specifically, I live in a building flat which is in District 4. And if I look around, just right outside my window, I see a bus station, I see some shops, like the kind of the small grocery shops that you see a couple of medical offices actually, as well as some restaurants, specifically Romanian restaurants. So it's a beautiful neighborhood. Give us a sense about your journey. I had to return to my roots, or actually, probably to myself, I would say, in many ways. So I think it was both an inner and an outer journey in this sense. So yeah, I was born in Romania. When it comes to chapters of my life, I always also like to include, if you don't mind, a very important chapter which was me living during commins' times. I was almost 17 when the revolution happened. And that was a very actually something that obviously marked my life and the way of thinking and seeing the world for a very long time. After that, some of the chapters that I actually went through were actually medical school, then working in the hospital, then actually taking a decision to completely change, move into the pharma industry where I spent 23 years. Little did I know that my life involved also moving around the world. So in the year in 2010, I actually started a new job in Switzerland. From there, I moved after three years in Norway, and another three years in the Czech Republic, in another three years in Canada. So my life has been made of a lot of lots of three years lately. And 2022 was the year when I resigned from the pharma industry, deciding this is no longer my something that I've been actually feeling and dealing with for a while. Moved to Costa Rica, where I thought I'll spend the rest of my life. And lo and behold, I think the universe was laughing and saying, not exactly. So I came back after another three and a half years in Costa Rica. I came back here in Romania for a professional opportunity, but also for our daughter who wanted to move back to Europe and who felt also very attached and wanted to pretty much reintegrate in Romania.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

That's beautiful. You mentioned a theme that I would like to come back to it. And you said that you came back to your roots and it was coming back to yourself. The journey of seeking and becoming, we see it as if it's a linear path always from left to going forward, but there's a there's a pattern to that. We keep coming back to the essence and we create almost like a loop we're coming back.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

That's a great way of describing it. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

You you rose to leadership, and yet you talk about the quiet signals that this is not exactly the life or part of the life that is working for you. What was it like?

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Yeah, I would say if I would use a metaphor, this is what I was thinking the other day. I like using metaphors to better explain some things that I feel inside, but I don't quite have the words for it. It's like holding maybe those two sheets or two transparent sheets, if you want, in the light. One is the picture that you thought, this is how my life should be looking like. Which a lot of times I would say in my case, it was the same. Maybe it was built on expectations from others, from society, from family, from whatever I learned and acquired during my journey. And then there was another sheet with another contour, which was the life that I wanted to live as I was becoming something else. And for years, I think there was a pretty good overlay between the two figures. Until a certain point in time when they stopped overlaying, there started to be actually a gap between the two of them. And the gap became bigger and bigger every year. And the thing is that once you see that gap, once you notice it, you cannot unsee it. This happened for me actually around 2018, to be honest. So, way before I actually decided to leave the industry. And there were a lot of things that I used to love doing. And again, I've been given phenomenal opportunities in my career. I couldn't be not more grateful for them. But and probably my younger self would have said, Oh my God, this is really a dream. But some of those opportunities, as they kept arising, they were not holding the same joy, the same aliveness, the same desire to pursue that. And it was, it created some sort of a confusion. Now, here is the interesting thing. I did not ignore it, it became quite strong. My instinct was in 2018 to actually go back to the beginning, to medicine. I started actually to study and to return to clinical practice. So this is how real it felt for me. But then the position in Canada happened, which was another amazing professional opportunity, and I said yes to it for family reasons, but also because maybe I did not quite trust myself fully, that instinct that was telling me this is not your place anymore. I don't regret it. It's been a phenomenal time that I spent there. I had a lot of, again, opportunities to grow and to learn.

SPEAKER_02 7:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

But at some point in time, the signal not only didn't go away, but it got so large that I could not ignore it anymore. So I had to actually fully follow it.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

This is really important, actually. Those signals, where did it come from? What were the origins of those signals? And the second question, related question, is that as they you heard them, you sensed them, you felt them, what did it look like to you?

SPEAKER_00 7:47

That was not able to express itself fully. Because obviously, when you work in a certain job in a certain environment, corporate or not, you have to follow certain patterns, certain rules, agreed rules of how you show up at work, how you express yourself, what things that you might want to do or not what to do. So I think that part, which initially was what drove me to medicine to take care of people, I think that part was actually very strong, getting very strong. And also the fact that I felt I had so much more to offer. And of course, because of the job, I was not able to pursue those things. They were not really aligned with my job description. I would say this is, I think, where it was an inner calling which got stronger and stronger. And I would say the shiny things, which again I'm not criticizing because they have been great in many ways for me. And I think they may be the person that I am today. So I can relate to a lot of other experiences of the people that I'm working with today. But those kind of shiny things that people would call success by all definitions in our society no longer held that kind of, I don't know how to say that pool. Exactly. No longer. And then you asked me something else, and I forgot to answer.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

The second one was so as you felt those inclinations, what did they look like to you? What were the feelings like?

SPEAKER_00 9:12

The first feeling was to go back to practicing medicine to be close to people.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Not to have systemic impact, which most people might be dreaming of, having changing the world. I wanted to maybe help a person. I think for me, the individuals, the people became very important.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

And this is maybe what drove me to the initial idea that maybe I should go back to medicine. Later on, when I in 2022, when I left, it actually manifested in deciding to become a coach, which I thought is a very powerful profession if done correctly and if done passionately, to help people like myself, but also, you know, especially like myself, also others, if they are in pursuit of something else, but people like myself to go back to who they truly are, to remember who they truly are.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

To remember, and if I understand you correctly, a key part of your who you are is the space of helping others heal, grow, find themselves. So is you really there's it's been a passion for you.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

It's always been a passion, correct?

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Passion for you, passion. Then a question for you thinking about the your corporate life, the way you talked about inner pool, inner calling you feel, and then the external role you play to what extent it's unique to you, or do you sense this is common for so many people that there's a duality?

SPEAKER_00 10:49

I would love to claim I'm that unique, but I'm definitely not, and I think there are a lot of people who are actually feeling the same calling. Yeah, some not necessarily being in a position where they could maybe choose a different path in life, and I respect that very much because maybe they have other priorities, other things which are much more important, and they have to honor that. But I think there are a lot of people who are actually feeling that call. And for a while, you channel it in activities which are meaningful, like that. So I work with a lot of people that have tried to change, maybe not at an in individual person level, but more of a systemic level, change the way clinical practice looks like, change the way innovation is being done in healthcare. So there are a lot of people like that, in at least I met so many of them in my time in the company. Yeah, people that wanted to make a difference and they were looking for ways of expressing that part of themselves.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

That's right. This is so powerful, Lorjana. As you know, there's a vast literature about burnout in North America, Europe, and all the industrial countries, and the sense of burnout often is being described as too much work, too much demand, and you're not keeping up. What you're mentioning is actually there's a different layer. It's not about work, it's not about demand. If you love what you do, you actually you can figure it out. Is when you see it, there's a rupture between who you are, what you want, what draws you, and the work you do. There's a is that gap which you talked about. It that gap is when you feel depleted, that you're doing the work, but you're not feeling it, you are not in it, and you just feel a stranger in the work you do. Did I does that make sense how I described it?

SPEAKER_00 12:41

It makes a lot of sense. You describe it really well. In my own words, again, using a metaphor, I felt like I was living by somebody else's script. I wrote a script for me that for a while it resonated. Felt like that's what I wanted all my life, yeah, and then it stopped being having a meaning to me. It felt like somebody else's movie, and I didn't belong in that movie anymore. So I decided, you know what? Why don't I live by my own script? Why don't I become the writer of my own story of my own life?

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Your own life. And for the listeners who follow my work and my book, You're not depressed, you're unfinished. So many individuals from the outside, they look great, they smell great, they have great jobs, family, car, spouse, but deep down, they're emotionally starved. And it shows up at depression, as anxiety, as a sense of life, it just feels heavy, and yet they're crushing it. And the answer, which we want to bring to the next one you talk about, that the many high achievers, their version of success, when they feel the pain, the notch, they have apply more discipline, more focus, work harder. Maybe I need more, I need to achieve more. And then it just doesn't work, it just there's a sense of where there's tell us about how you see this and what did you learn, what did you do?

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Yeah, definitely when you're a high achiever, in your world, nothing has to be wrong, and everything that feels like discomfort should be present there. So you're doing your best to actually not look at it and hide it under the carpet, whatever, just not to feel it, that discomfort, not allowing yourself to understand where what does that discomfort try to tell you? Yeah, and in doing so, in putting more discipline, more working hours, more effort, more energy, we are completely missing life. We are missing the precious moments, yeah, with our family, yeah, with ourselves. We don't even give ourselves time to be with ourselves. We are simply missing life. It's going by. That was one of the things that hit me really heavily, and maybe it was also the environment after COVID, but there was more to it. That's how I felt it. I thought if I keep going like this, I don't think I'm going to make it to the retirement age. And then what's the point? I don't have time enough time to spend with my husband, with my daughter, and what's the point? Yes, in the hope of a future when I maybe will have time to spend with them. That's right. What's the point of that?

SPEAKER_01 15:28

That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

But the most important thing, you miss yourself. You don't understand who you are anymore. You get lost in others' definition of success and achievement.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

That's right. Lordana, for the people who they are less missing life, they are doing better on that scale. What do they do? What is what is how does life feel or look like for them?

SPEAKER_00 15:57

I'm going to go back to my time in Costa Rica when I didn't have a job anymore. I was trying to build a new career, a new business, reinvent myself. I would say the first part feels a lot like failure. And felt a lot like failure until I discovered that behind the beginning of the feels like a failure.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Why?

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Because you're no longer, you're not, you don't have the identity you were used to. Yeah, you don't have the respect of people who actually paid attention to you because you had a job title. Yeah, you were somewhere higher up in the hierarchy, which is all fine. It's part of how life unfolds here. But then what you realize, once you go past that, if you have the courage to accept that, yeah, okay, fine, I'm feeling like that. Okay, what else is there for me? Then you discover that life for people that decide to do something different. And again, I decided to do this step. That everybody needs to do that the same, but they can. I decided that I was at I realized that I was in the lead of my life for the first time. I was the decision maker of who I want to be next, which version of myself do I want to live? Which version of my life do I want to pursue? How do I want to bring my contribution from here on? Yeah, what do I feel is important and not important? I would say it the light loses its content, its heavy, busy content, and gets more meaning and more purpose.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

That's right. I'm sorry, I interrupted you. Go ahead. You were saying something.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

No, one thing I want you to say, it's like the colors in the picture are becoming more bright.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

That's right. That's beautiful. What is interesting that in our society that the so personally I hate the term retirement. Yeah. That there are I know so many people, relatives, that their discussion is that I will do this when I retire. When I retire, I would take that vacation, I would take that course, I would go on that trip. And they wait. In fact, the words they use later on, someday, somehow, then they retire. And to your point, they are lost. They are lost. And in fact, it's it's well researched that if you haven't learned how to live, how to be in charge of your emotions, your actions, your surroundings, your decisions. When you retire, the day after retirement, when you're at home, people then go into dark places. That's for depression, sense of rutherlessness. That's so what do I do when they're I don't have a structure? I don't have deadlines, I don't have meetings, I don't have people who ask for me or they want to be around me. So what you're talking about is to live a life of intention, of fullness, professional, personal. So it's a work is not the only feature that gives you meaning and structure.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Yeah. If I can add to that, because I love how you describe this, and again, you're the expert in the topic, so I always love hearing from you. I would also add life becomes a celebration of small moments, moments that you do not appreciate. And people might laugh, but you appreciate when you see your house clean. So that gave me satisfaction. Cooking a meal for my family because I didn't have much time. I wasn't a great cook. I learned to become a better one for sure, because I had more time. The moment of actually in interacting with a person in a market, yeah, yeah. Smiling to someone on the street, maybe giving a five-dollar bill to the beggar on the street and smiling to him, making him seen the small moments. That's what we do not appreciate when we chase something which is not us.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

And that for me became something which I think I'm still holding on very dearly today of appreciating the small moments.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

That's been alive. Bring us to the notion of ambition. So you and I interviewed the I know in our early 20s for our first jobs. There's a question in all interviews come up: what would you do? Or how do you see yourself in five years? They're trying to discern your level of the drive, ambition, and where you go. And so we give some good response. But companies, businesses, or success, it's they are fueled by ambitious people, driven people, go never stop. They have full calendars, they have a full set of activities. So you talk about ambition that expands versus ambition that is blind and it empties you. Yeah, what the can you explain that? What do they look like? And how do you know if you are expanding through your ambition or are you numbing yourself?

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Yeah, I'll give what my perspective. I'd love to hear yours as well, Ardish, because again, you know a lot in this field. And by the way, thank you for bringing up that question at the interview, which always drove me nuts because I never knew where I wanted to be in five years. And if I would have done something, I would have been wrong anyway, because things happen for me without me pursuing a career. It's possible to do a career without really pursuing something very ambitiously. But talking about ambition, there is an ambition, and again, nothing wrong with being ambitious, nothing wrong with achieving. We wouldn't be pushing the world forward if we would not be achieving things. I think the problem becomes when you actually find your entire self and lies through achievements. So there is an ambition which expands you, which fulfills you. Like when you are more or less following and you feel it when you're following that calling in your heart. I felt it in projects like especially which involved creating a different future, a better future. I as I was at least seeing it for my for my function, which was medical affairs, innovation in, for example, in clinical practice, other AI in healthcare, and so on. And also when you are surrounded by like-minded people that see the same or want the same thing. So that's the type of ambition where you want to bring changes which are meaningful, which are aligned with your values and purpose. And those expand you. Though actually it's like more of you is being expressed.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

But there is also ambition which actually I would say looks successful from the outside.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Like pursuing career, jobs, getting the house, getting the car, getting the social status, and so on, which is also a type of ambition. But where joy becomes very short-lived. Where the impact is just now, maybe for another week, and then you are pursuing the next goal. And your entire definition of who you are and how you show up is through that. That's the type of ambition which leaves us empty.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

So is it really ambitions that you accomplish something, you finish a project, you do that, then you go to almost wilderness of what's next? Yeah. And in fact, for listeners, that these are the times that some people rely on addiction, distracting behaviors, because you accomplished something, you've done it, celebration, kudos came, but after you feel empty, and you just need to get some sort of dopamine and some sort of satisfaction. So people look for distractions. And when you think about addiction, whether it's the drinking here and there, or overworking, or the numbing yourself, these are all ways to get by to don't feel the emptiness that is coming from inside. I want to ask you a question. So you are a successful business leader, you're feeling that hey, I have a different vision, I want different things, I want expanded things, both successful but also be me. Did you feel lonely where you were? Did you feel like there's the language you couldn't talk to others? Definitely you couldn't talk to your boss. Did you feel like there's part of you said that like almost who do who gets me? How did it feel to be among many people and feel like that?

SPEAKER_00 24:05

For a long while, I haven't shared that with anyone other than my husband because I wasn't sure what to do with that feeling. So for me, the impulse to, and I knew I'm going to do something. I think it was one year before I actually left. I didn't know what to do with that. I was lucky to have at least one person in my leadership team in Canada that really understood what I was going through, and I actually confided in her. And she actually made me understand that yeah, I it's not that there was something wrong when I was working. I was simply becoming something different. My past started to actually veer a little bit to the right or to the left, depending on how you want to describe it. And I think that was a moment for me, a clarity moment when I said, yes, now it's going to happen.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

But yes, there are many moments when you feel lonely, you even feel crazy. You feel like, what's wrong with me? I had everything that one, everything that I, the younger version of me, would have maybe never not even dreamt.

unknown 24:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

If I remember when I was 20, 30 years ago, yeah. And something that many people aspire to, and yet I was profoundly unhappy with where I was.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Yeah, that's right. Then imagine there are people just like you five, 10 years ago, that as you were going through the duality, you're searching, but yet you have your key role, you're successful, and your family and your colleague, your company depend on. There are people listening to this podcast and they feel what you're saying. What do you want to tell to those individuals? It's almost like what it's almost your version of you 10 years ago. What do you want to tell to those in?

SPEAKER_00 25:44

If I would meet my younger version, yes, I would probably say have the courage to explore, first of all, acknowledge what's going on for you. Yeah, then go and explore what's really happening. Maybe speak to a person like yourself. I think I would have loved to meet you 10 years ago because I know after I left, I think I would have not been able to understand myself as as well as I did without you and the group that you actually have formed. So that has been amazing. But again, have the courage to explore, have the courage to reach out and ask. And most importantly, know that you are not alone. I cannot tell you how many people are feeling the same. People that have decided to continue to stay in their jobs, and I'm curious to them because again, that was their path. That was not my path, but it does have to be the same for others. Yeah, but you are not alone. And if you want somebody to reach out to, it's there is an artis here, there is a Loredana, there are many others, bodies who are feeling the same. Acknowledge what's happening and decide what you want to do about that.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Exactly. Sneeze coming, yeah. Okay, Ben the way. Great. I'm going to PQ.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Can I add something here?

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

I do want to add one more thing because you asked me about loneliness on this path. I did have a great bless you. Oh my god, I'm sorry. Thank God for it.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

Thank God for the delete points. Oh gosh. I should take a lot more medicine.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

Oh, it would have been fun to actually broadcast this as well.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Oh my god. All right, one more time. Lordana, the you have another point to share. Please go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Yeah. So you asked me before about loneliness, feeling lonely on this path. I want to be fully open and say I did have another good friend or a companion on this path, something that has been with me for a long time, probably for 30 years almost, which is my spiritual journey and the work that I've been doing in this space. Again, also from the desire to really understand who am I really. Who has guided me in the moments when I felt really lost.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Yes, beautiful. So there's an element of a spiritual and higher level of thinking, reflecting toward true humanity. Because what you're talking about, we all have multiple dimensions: professional, personal, cultural, a neighbor, a spouse, a sibling. And there's a key part of the spiritual being that is very personal, is very unique, private and personal, and that guides our way of being day-to-day. And you tapped into that.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

Yeah, it's been a driving force for me for a long time. Ignored for a while because I was too busy doing something else and coming back to it.

SPEAKER_01 29:01

Journey of coming home. You also talk about a practice, a discipline, the expertise you have about what is called positive intelligence or PQ. Yeah. Share with the listeners what is positive intelligence. How did you learn it? How do you apply it for yourself and for your clients?

SPEAKER_00 29:24

Yeah. Like a lot of other things in my life, positive intelligence, the training came at the right moment. Yes. Immediately after I actually moved to Costa Rica and started that new life. And put in very simple terms, I would say the idea is that we all have this inner, I would say, team of voices or thought patterns that are sabotaging us. They are negatively impacting our health, our relationships, our performance. And then maybe one thing that people can relate is that voice or that thought pattern of the inner critic. That voice that constantly criticizing us and telling us we are not good enough. The origin of the imposter syndrome. Now, this is what PQ calls sabotage. And PQ is the short for positive intelligence.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

But there is another part, there is another thought pattern, if you want, from a neurophysiological perspective, another voice if people want to acknowledge without being called names.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Which is a much softer voice, but a much wiser voice. And this is called the Sage. And you learn how to recognize if what you are thinking and doing and feeling is coming from saboteur or from sage. And how to actually switch from one to another. And instead of living a life which is fueled, and maybe even if I look back at my career, which has been fueled by fear of not being good enough for the majority of time, you learn how to live life and perform so much better from the fundamental emotion of love. And then you are not just performing, but you're also happy, which is something that has been missing from my life for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

That's right. This is very timely that what you talked about, we are caught in the duality attention of I'm not good enough, or I'm enough. But deep down I'm good. Versus just say I'm not good enough, therefore I'm not gonna try, I'm just gonna give up, or and then just see myself as a failure. That tension is uh it's been with humans forever, and so many people in my clinical work that I see that they're still dealing with combination of guilt and shame. Guilt is that I did wrong in my past, family, friend, relationship, jobs. I did wrong things. That's guilt. Shame is there's something wrong with me. I'm not a good person. Yeah, and these are some of the messages we learn early in life. These are tools for control, behavioral control, emotional, whether we use it with our kids, with our employees, with neighbors, siblings, but uh judgment, you're not good enough, is all around us. That's part of what you mentioned. PQ say that these are narrative, these are stories, and often they are not true. There is a better way, there are more empowering ways to go about how you can reach your fulfillment.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Yeah, I would dare to say, Ardeshir, that though that that narrative that I'm not good enough is never right. Because if you look at people, really look at them. I would say, if you'll allow me, if you want to see them through the eyes of love, yeah, you'll understand that they are amazing human beings. Now, they might not always show up like that, their actions might not always confirm the truth about themselves. But if you truly look at them through the eyes of love, you'll see that they are amazing human beings, they are really good. Yeah, and this change of narrative, but it's very hard for us to believe that. It was very hard for me for many years. Most years, I thought that's the biggest lie ever. Because I thought that's what's pushing me to become better. And this is how the saboters are surviving because they think I'm making you better, I'm keeping you safe.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

But there is a different way, exactly as we said, there is a different way.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

There's a different way, and they're seeing people around us through the eyes of love. Lordana, right now you are in Bucharest, Romania, in a key part of your journey, which learning from you is the journey. There are more chapters coming. You're by no means this I've made it, I'm done. So, what are you doing these days? What do you do? How do you spend your time?

SPEAKER_00 33:47

Yeah, I'm now currently I'm actually working with Strive Global in the space of corporate health and well-being, and I'm coaching corporate clients and helping them understand their life and look at their well-being in a very holistic way. And looking, examining mindsets and behaviors which are driving certain events in their life, maybe stopping them from expressing their full potential, from overcoming certain challenges. It's an incredibly rewarding work. I have to say, I haven't enjoyed my work like this in a long time. And just seeing the smile of the other person, just even if it's a small change, but at least the right small change is the domino kicks of the rest, it's incredibly rewarding. And I have to say there is something else. Through them, I'm also learning and becoming better. So it's I would say it's a win-win. I'm it's as if I would be giving them what I wish I also received, and I am receiving.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

I love it. I love I can see your smile as you're sharing this. That doing the work that you were building, learning, and yourself up to this point. Lovely. I want to ask you to complete this sentence for us.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

The life you build is not the final version of you. Yes, as I've known and lived through it. It may be the bravest thing, the most courageous thing you have done so far to build it up to this moment. Yes, and you can do also the next, maybe the second bravest, the second most courageous thing, to let it evolve from here further. Don't stop here, keep going, keep going. I love it. Know that I know it because that's exactly what I'm doing, and it's a hell of a fun.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

Yes, beautiful. So on that one, then I want to bring you back again. If there is one recommendation, one call to action for listeners, you want to invite them, nudge them. What one thing, what would you tell them? Can I say two?

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Of course. I love it. I would say number one, follow your heart always. No matter how hard it might feel, in the beginning, it might be, but it's always going to be the right thing to do.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

And second, be courageous. Don't let anything stop you from following your heart.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

Follow your heart and be courageous. This is beautiful. This is like it's your life. Your life is calling. Follow your inner calling. Where do people find you, learn about you, contact you?

SPEAKER_00 36:34

Yeah, so you can find me on social media. I have finally, after many years of not being there, I've decided to embrace the social media challenge. And I have an Instagram account, Facebook account. You can search me up. I am on LinkedIn. You can also look on my website, which is my first and last name, Loredana Regeb, in oneword.com. You can always reach out to me via this means, and I'll be more than honored to serve you.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Beautiful. And for the listeners that just looked down on the on the podcast, all the link and the citation for Loredana will be there. I invite you to contact her. She works with clients globally. So she's there, and um the you will enjoy her, and you will find a great colleague, a great coach, a great mentor to get you going. Thank you so much. I would love Lordana to have another episode with you in the upcoming months.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

It will be my pleasure. Thank you so much.