"Ask Sister Anything"

In Episode 7 of What Would Sister Say, the tables are turned as Giavana puts Shelby in the hot seat.

What starts as a simple conversation becomes an honest interview about Shelby’s life, relationships, creative dreams, personal growth, and how she’s feeling in this season of life. The sisters dive into everything from self-discovery and ambition to the lessons they’re learning along the way.

As always, the conversation is candid, unfiltered, and full of laughs, sisterly wisdom, and a few unexpected moments.

Sometimes the best way to get to know someone is to ask the questions they’ve been avoiding.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Hello, I am Giovanna. Hello, Giovanna. Hello. I'm Shoby. Hello, Shelby. Oh, hello. And hello to you.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Um, do we have to lose these bangles? They're they're mighty loud. Mighty loud. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Oh yeah, I think we could.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

I think it's a little five, but for y'all's sake, we're shed. Yeah, I think we should. Oh shed.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

Yeah. Okay. What about this one? Well, okay. So today's topic is um ask sister anything. Are you gonna ask me anything? I'm gonna ask you anything that I want. Can I ask you anything? If you'd like to, throw the questions back at me. Okay or any questions you have in mind. We'll see. Yeah. Um because um, you know, the last episode you caught me off guard a little bit. So I think I wanna. I'm ready for anything.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

I'm always ready.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

You stay ready.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

I stay ready, girl.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

So you ain't gotta get ready. Girl. So okay, so my first question is, and this is a question that like I um that hit a little home with me. So I wanted to know what is something that you would tell your younger self that they probably wouldn't believe, like that is currently like your life right now. My in my life right now? Yeah, in your life or your beliefs now, or like just something that your younger self would just kind of be like, like, they wouldn't like they couldn't fathom it.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

I probably would tell her I still believe in magic.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Okay. And you think that would be surprising to her?

SPEAKER_00 2:36

I think she would think it's her kids. Yeah. I think she thought that playing in the forest, making potions and um playing witches, she had to grow up. And I think she would be happy to know that we still frolic in the forest and find magic in the everyday. Um I think she would love to know that I make music, that I've done some cool acting jobs, um, that I bring music videos to life. I remember laying in a the bed um as a kid just listening to music, and I would just visualize music videos, so to know that I actually direct and create music videos now, I think she would be very happy with me. Um, I wanted to be a beautiful model too, and you know, I've had some really cool modeling gigs as well, so um and I'm currently getting into fashion design. Uh well, I've been sketching fashion pieces since I was a little girl, but I think she'd be happy to know that I can actually bring them to life now, and that we're working on a line. We haven't even talked about that yet on here. Well, we just I guess let them know a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Yeah. Dropped a little a little insight.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

A little insight.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Yeah, dropped a little gem.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

You look beautiful today.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

I think you do too. I I think you're being a little harsh on yourself about this blonde.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

I don't know. Zister never felt pretty as a blonde.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

I think you look gorgeous. That's why I was like telling you, I think you should rock her today. You think so? Yeah, I think you got her laid. Is it is it the cut too? I think it's the cut, the face frame, it's the the length, it's it's it's giving.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

What is it about doing your makeup? I don't know. Is this just me? I hate it all the way up until I put the lashes on. And then I'm like, oh, there she is. Oh, she's a girl dragon.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

I think it's she's a girl dragon. Because if she don't get the lashes, she's not a girl dragon. You gotta dink dink. You got them dink dinks on? She's not a little girl no more. Oh, she's a woman. You know, I think you know what's crazy to me. My thing is my lip. I don't feel complete without a lip. I but a lash is well. Like, you know, I love a lash. I have like a half lash. Half lashes, yeah, all day. Yeah, half lash has been my thing lately, and making her very angry. Yeah. So that's that's been my go-to, as you know, for some time now. I feel like um, so with that being said, with the magic and things like that, um, I'm just gonna ask you questions because that's what this like episode is like about. So they may not have anything to correlate with the next, but they're just things that I wanted to know about my sister.

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

So what's the most embarrassing thing that you've done for love and attention?

SPEAKER_00 6:26

The most embarrassing thing I've done for love and attention.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

The people want to know.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

The people want to know. The people want to know. What if I tell everything and then they know? I think I think that's the they want to know. I don't know if it's embarrassing. I don't want to believe anything in love is embarrassing because love is the excuse why it's not embarrassing. I don't know. Like, I feel like if you're like, oh, I did it because love, people are like, oh yeah, love makes you do crazy things. Oh, so nothing, but girl, I feel kind of stupid for like letting a man live with me and paying his way and taking care of his ass just for him to do me dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. And my spark. I um that's embarrassing to me.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Yeah, you made me blush a little bit with that one.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Um to build a man up and yeah, yeah, that's but like love, right? Like you would want to think like, oh, I held you down at your lowest, and you were able to build and big yourself up because I held you down, and now you're gonna hold me down when you're a big big dog.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Um that's that would be like the ideal thing, I would say.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

No, I uh yeah, and I feel like we just enable them to be little boys and then we mother them, and that's also embarrassing to me.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

So I feel like that's something that I'm battling with is I don't I'm I don't want to mother anymore. Like I don't want to I want to be like somebody's baby. I want to be the baby. I'm the baby. It's just a baby. Yeah, like I that's exactly. And that's that's the mentality that I want to have. And like, not the mentality that I want to have.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

I want to be a grown woman, and I want to be treated like one, but I also want to be coddled and protected and loved as if I heard something the other day that was like fuck princess treatment. Like, I want to be treated like your dream girl, and I think same. Like, I want you to be so afraid that you're gonna lose me and I'm your dream that you know how fragile the connection can be, that you'll treat it delicately. Um and baby me. Yeah, treat me like I don't know, I hate to say you're everything, but like, yeah. Treat me like I'm the queen of your world, treat me like I'm the goddess in your universe, and like I promise it will bless you.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

Yeah, I don't like feeling like I'm replaceable in someone's life, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

I don't know what it is. Like, my mommy tells me I'm special, so I need everyone to make me feel special.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

That I feel like that's how it's supposed to be. Do you want do you want in a relationship, do you constantly feel like you need a sense of validation?

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Yeah, I do. I feel like sadly, and I don't want to feel that way. I want to be so validated in myself that I don't need your approval of me. Yeah, I don't know what it is about I want the person that I love to just love and admire and adore me and to know it. Like say it to me, don't just like think it over there quietly. I don't know, I like to be affirmed by my person. I do too.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

I I love but you know what's weird is like I I only want it for my person. Not only want it for my person because I love being praised by other people. Yeah. But when it's from the person that I'm like I love, yeah, like I that it I it does something to me to where like it's like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

You admire me still, you still I'm still your dream girl, like I still inspire you, I still turn you on. Like, I love to hear that.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

But does that go towards us feeling like we are seeking that because of things that we've dealt with in our past?

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Yeah, when you have a man that wants every other woman and every other woman that doesn't look like you too, and is always looking at them, like I feel like eventually, like you would want your person to like tell you you're beautiful and love you and tell you you're enough. And but like again, I would hate to care. I hate that I care.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

See, my thing is like I wish I like I would like to at least know my person's type and to see that like sometimes I may not be or their eyes may go elsewhere. That kind of like rubs me the wrong way.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

Would you want to be their type or not their type? I certainly want to be their type. But what if you're just like copy paste, copy paste, copy paste?

SPEAKER_02 12:04

See, that's the thing. I I want to be their type to the point where nobody else is their type. Like they they're like, I can't find anything like you. Like I just I'm so enamored with this woman, and there's Oh yeah, I want them to know I'm one of a kind and I'm unique. Exactly, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

Like you will look and you will not find another one like me. Yeah, sadly, if you fuck it up, you're going to always be looking for me and other people.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

And that's something that I remember me and you had said is that like I'm not worried about losing you because I know how you love. But you're worried about loving me. Losing me because you know how I love. Yeah. And I think that that's like that's something that is very unique to each individual. Is how they some people just don't know how to receive or give. Um, so moving on. Um have you ever been in a friendship that you were like you felt like you outgrew and you were guilty that you were like you felt like you had to move on from that friendship? Like do you ever feel have you ever felt that? Or are there I don't want to s I don't wanna be that messy, but are there people that you feel like you may be outgrowing in your life?

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Yeah, yeah. I feel like it never really feels like a breakup if and I don't know. I feel like the people I keep close with me come with me. Yeah, and most of the people that are close to me understand I'm busy and I'm creating something, I'm building my dream, and they check in with me every once in a while, and it will pick up like we never left off, but I feel like there are certain people that are have more of like a shallow connection with me, more like acquaintances. And I don't think like I ever get that deep to feel like I need to break up with them, and I feel like the universe does a very graceful job at you know redirecting us, and when we run into each other, it's like nice and all love and support, I guess. But I don't know. I've I only have a handful of people I keep really close, and I feel like I've done a decent job at vetting them to know that you want these people around.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

Yeah, I want these people around. I feel like there's there's nobody well, I there's people just taking up space. I but they're primarily just like men that I don't really care about, that I feel like are just like there for entertainment purposes, but people that I would call my friends and because I I I don't I don't use that word as loosely as I used to. I feel like that word holds a lot of weight to me now. I used to call everybody my friend, yeah. Everybody was my friend. I um I thought I had great connections with a lot of people, and as I've gotten older and through time, I've realized that the connections that I actually like am noticing with these people are so much more valuable than like just a surface level situation. So that's that's my thought on it. I um I'm scared to outgrow certain people in my life just because I feel like they may think a little smaller than I do.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Um have I told you about the building analogy? I'm like obsessed with the building analogy. I feel like I always rant about it to everybody, but I think hmm, think about a tall high-rise or an office building or an office with or um a building with offices and businesses below and then high-rise living up top. And I guess we could think of it in New York where it's really busy outside, hustle and bustle, homeless people outside, it's dirty, it's loud, a lot of traffic. Once you go inside, it's a little quieter, but it could be a lobby, it could still be very busy. And then as you go up, it gets quieter and more peaceful. Um, it gets more peaceful as you go up the building. And sorry, that's a long setup to say. Um, sometimes we can't take our friends with us on every level, every floor. And sometimes we are on this growth process or spiritual journey or whatever we're going through. Like our journey is our own. And oftentimes we want to bring our friends and our loved ones with us um to the top where it's peaceful and you can see out, and you can see everything that's beautiful, and you're above the clouds, and all you see is blue sky and maybe ocean, um, just the most beautiful view, and that's the goal. You're like trying to climb there. And some days you will take the elevator and go up many floors, and maybe you'll get stuck on a floor, and your friends that were left um on the ground floor in that time may have taken the stairs and they're taking a lot longer, but they may pass you and they may get to your floor and maybe give you some encouragement, and then you can go a couple floors together. Um, or maybe you go all the way to the top and you leave little notes on the way and they'll find their way up. Yeah. But I think I think sometimes we think that we have to leave people behind for good, and maybe we do. Oftentimes they're just a part of a chapter. But I do think that if we love them, we can leave notes, and maybe they'll find them, they'll find their way back to us.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

I have a problem leaving people behind, or not leave, or letting people go. That's something that like I have a trouble with. So running from dealing with like certain, I think like traumas in my life. I I have a hard time like being like, okay, I need to let this person go. Even if it's temporarily, so they can catch up to me. Or not even catch up to me, but just maybe we could find each other again when the time is right.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

I understand that, but I feel like I also have such a fear of letting myself down.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

And losing my way that at some point I have to cut my losses and I'm going to find my way. Um I want to love so bad and find a love, but honestly, this is fucked. I've never seen love work out except for in movies. I don't know any relationship that's like a wonderful example of what love could be. So I will do my best. I will love till I have nothing left to give, and then at some point I just cut my losses.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

That made me a little sad. Not because that's the reality of it, because I don't know anybody that is in like a successful, happy relationship, and it's something that I would want.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Um And I feel like the way I love, like, I can't be the only one. Like there has to be somebody out there that's loyal who wants to be in a serious, committed relationship and build. Yeah. Like I cannot be the only one. Like that's just what keeps me going. But yeah, I've never seen it work out. I just know that it could work out with me because I believe in magic. Yeah. I'm gonna keep trying. And I have to keep telling myself, like, I don't want to keep trying with somebody that has hurt me and there's no trust. I don't want to try to rebuild trust. I would rather just you're not it and keep moving on. I'm not there yet, but that's that's the goal. That's the goal.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

Rebuilding trust for me is like the hardest thing to possibly do. Like once I get to a like I the the the insecure person the the thoughts in every single thing like the doubt it it really eats me up inside.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

I don't know if trust can really be rebuilt. I think once somebody fucks you over, you're always gonna have a little bit of that worry in the back of your head. And if you do say eliminate all of the thought or memory of them fucking you over, and you're just la-di-da-da-da-di-da, and they do it again, you feel stupid.

SPEAKER_02 22:41

Yeah, I agree. So this is like my um my final question that I have for you. Um what is something that a part of yourself that you feel like you're gonna have to kill off in order for you to be where you want to be in life or be the woman that you desire to be?

SPEAKER_00 23:12

I was thinking about murder today.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

Are you? I was like murdering like a particular person or just think are you okay?

SPEAKER_00 23:25

I think so. Okay. I do think that there's a part of me or the current me needs to know croak for a future me to blossom. Yeah. I love the lover girl in me.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

I think that part of you should always remain. I feel like that's who Shelby is.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

I just I feel like she gets so distracted. She's like, squirrel, squirrel, love, love, oh squirrel. Um Shelby distracted. Always locked in, I'm always focused.

SPEAKER_02 24:11

She's a she's a fun, she's zoned in.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Um, I don't know. I feel like lately I've been doing really good with um controlling my substance abuse.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

Congratulations on that. I'm proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Um I've been doing good with staying off of social media, which I don't know if that's a good thing because we're trying to build something here.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

Uh I feel like there has to be like a healthy balance. I think that um if it becomes like work, then I I think that it's it's something that could be let's let's like you know get rid of the doom scrolling.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

You know, I think that's the the worst part of social media is that it's something it's just it should be a distraction and capture you exactly. But I do believe that there is um it's a blessing in disguise for this generation, and I think that it's something that it's a tool to be used, it's yeah, it's to be utilized, and if you could figure it out exactly how to use it for your benefit, I think. Use it, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

Yeah, yeah. I feel like with this content, you know, all the things that we've been doing here, I'll be using it eventually.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Yeah, I yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

Um I feel like there's just some thoughts and beliefs that I could kill off as well. I think we are what we think we are, and somewhere along the way your girl forgot some things. And I think sometimes we have to lose ourselves in order to find ourselves. Yeah. I think I've was saying mush the other day. I've been feeling a little like mush, the butterfly or the caterpillar goes in the cocoon, and I guess turns to mush, just dissolves before it turns back into a body, and that body is a butterfly.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

So you feel like you're in that space.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Yeah, I feel like I could be anything I want to be right now, and I I have to step into the version of me that I want to be, and I think kind of like you were saying the other day, a girl that's like committed to her health and her beauty routines and getting her money and just not distracted, focused, and I guess even if that is focused on my lover, I just I don't want to just be focused on a situation shit or I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Yeah, I once I I'm I'm seeing some I'm at a point where I I really want something, but I've always wanted something solid. I love like a real I love relationship. Like I genuinely love relationship. Um I find myself like you're if I like it, it's mine.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

If I liked it, it's mine.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

Yeah, so um that's that's that it used to be my motto, and I've been trying to not get myself in that place, but um, because I feel like that has gotten me stuck in some relationships that I wasn't like the happiest in. So sometimes now if I feel like I just lick it, I just got a taste, and maybe I didn't like it. I could try another flavor out.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Do you though? I feel like you try to force yourself to like it sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Sometimes I gag and I don't like the taste, and I'll I'll try it again and again, and then I'll get sick and I'll try it again, and then I'll get diarrhea and then I'll try it again. Girl! It's just an ongoing thing. So that's that's where I'm at with the if I look it, it's mine.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

I'm trying to look things that are good for me.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

See, that's that's what I want to do too. And I I would like to think that sometimes if we pour the right ingredients into the thing that we're looking, it'll turn to good. But I think I need to just stop like hopeful thinking, I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

I don't know. I am delusional, so don't talk to me about any of that.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

Okay, well, um, I I I feel like I um I got some questions out of you that I like. I next time I feel like I would like to go a little bit like dive in a little bit deeper. But I feel like I I scraped the surface of things and I'm I'm happy with what I the information I've gathered.

SPEAKER_00 30:11

Yeah. You remember the fun facts that I shared with you today?

SPEAKER_02 30:16

I believe, I would like to think so.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

You do?

SPEAKER_02 30:19

I would like to think I I remember the the the the fun facts, the the the details, the the minuscule things that are there. So um I think it's time to wrap it on up. I am starving. My stomach is beating itself. Girl, girl, not girl, we don't have time for girl dinner, do we?

SPEAKER_00 30:47

Do we have time? I feel like we might have time for some girl dinner. Okay, okay. Well, that's that's today's programming. Thanks for joining us on today's episode of What Would Sister Say?

SPEAKER_02 31:01

What Would Sisters Say? Please go ahead and like, subscribe, and share, do all the things, and then follow us on Instagram. Um at What Would Sister Say. And TikTok and Yeah, and then YouTube. Yeah, all of them. Um, we appreciate you guys for tuning in and watching. Um we have one more episode. Oh, wow. That's wild, no.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

We're doing this thing.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

We are. It's it's it's been a time, but anyways, thank you guys for watching smooches.