The Foundation of Our Relationships (Part 1)

Relationships are often viewed through the highlight reel, but what really creates a strong foundation?

In this special two-part series, Toni and Zaria share the stories behind their relationships—from how they met their partners to the lessons, challenges, communication, trust, and growth that helped shape the relationships they have today.

Part 1 focuses on the beginning: first impressions, dating experiences, and the moments that changed everything.

Part 2 dives deeper into the foundation: trust, communication, healing, conflict resolution, and the intentional work required to build healthy relationships.

Whether you're dating, married, healing, or simply learning more about yourself, this conversation offers honest perspectives on what it takes to build something meaningful.

Because healthy relationships aren't found—they're built.

The ZT Download Podcast — where it's always 2 girls with a lot 2 say.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the ZT Download Podcast. I'm Zarya. And I'm Tony. And we're just two girls with a lot to say. Hey girl.

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Hi.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Hey girl. Hey. Cheers to episode three.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Cheers to episode three.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

I love it.

SPEAKER_03 0:14

It's all over. I've been drinking.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

This coffee woke me up. House life. Fill me in. Life has been life in the most lifeable way. There's a whole lot of life going on.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

That should be a bumper sticker. Life has been life in the most lifeable way. We like that. Are you um still anxious?

SPEAKER_02 0:41

No, you you helped me. She helped me guys.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

She helped me an espresso martini.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Yes, she's calm.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Trust me.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Real quick.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

The anxiety, yeah. It takes you up. Yeah, it will.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

It definitely will. Like the jitters, the shaking, the like all over the place. Yeah. Yes, the rushing. That is like I hate rushing. Yeah. Rushing gives me anxiety. Yeah. So bad. Like being late gives me anxiety. Yeah, it's like that was me. I was like, oh my god, totally. Like, I was just like, oh my god, oh my god, in my mind. Yeah. Yeah. Calm down. I was like, I hate it. You're good. You made it. We're here.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

We're here.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

We're on air. We're here.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

So um, how has what's today? Thursday. How's your week been? Today's Thursday.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Gosh. Um, it's been it's it's gone by so fast. Like, honestly, like it's gone by so fast. Um it's already trash day. Yeah. Trash days are trash days.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Our trash days is Fridays. What? That's weird. It is, yeah. Y'all are like down the street. Yeah, our trash days are like Fridays. So not trash day for us. Trash day for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

That's a way to remember.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

I'm like, hey girl, did you? Trash day has always been Thursday for us. Yeah. Really? Like even when we lived in Grand Prairie.

unknown 1:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Yeah, it's always been. It's probably because I live in the Binnies.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Like y'all are going last. How about you? How how has your week been? How has life been treating you? Life has been good. How has life been treating you?

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Life has been life has been really good.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

My girl has a fiance. Your whole life. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Yeah. It is. It's lovely. It is. It still feels normal though.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Yeah, I feel like it feels normal until you go through the process and like you actually get married.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Yeah, I think it's it's gonna like renew us. But like, like I I told you, like, we me and Sean, we just we've done life, so it's like just something else that we're doing together. But I don't want to downplay it though, because that's important, but it's it's just like okay, we're engaged now, like we can calm down. Like I can calm down. So because really it's just me. He's like, You're my wife. I still call you my wife. I'm like, I'm not actually until you put a ring on my face. I am not actually gonna call you my husband. Sorry, I just can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

It's still, yeah, it's it's a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

I slip up sometimes, but I just like it still feels weird.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Yeah, until like it's official. Yeah, I feel the same way. Like, I just feel like that's a I feel fake saying that.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Like, yeah, that's so leading into what 75% trending topics, there's this thing called June theory. June theory. It's trending right now. Okay, I have I don't know. They come up with anything nowadays. I don't know. I'll be so lost, but it's apparently this like subject of like when June comes around, that's like when everything gets rocky. Like it's like the middle of the year, things are rocky, I have heard everything's going downhill, like it seems like you can't like have a break, or like it just it seems like everything is going wrong. Friendships are breaking, like you're having trouble in relationships. Is that why Geminis are like the most hated sign? Maybe because it's always like a tornado during our season.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Yeah, what it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Yeah, so I don't know, but like it's like a thing. Like, people are talking about it on TikTok. They're like, Yes, the June theory is June, so of course I'm having a hard time right now. Like wow. During Gemini season.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

Wow, wow, that's crazy. Um, yeah, so life life has been Juning.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

I mean, like I've been feeling good.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

I mean it's your season. It's your season.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

It's my season, so it's your season.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

I've I've been feeling good. I mean ain't nothing gonna break. I just turned 30. I can't nothing break me right now. Like, that's a if you're trying to come in and shake my world up, you can just hit the dough. I'm not gonna argue with you. Yes, you can go, you can actually go and like close the door on your way out. Yes, like I'm back. No, for real. Like, I'm not I'm not gonna go back and forth with nobody. Like, I don't I don't have the energy for it.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

That's how I feel, honestly. That's just where I'm at in life. Like, if it's not my kids, my family, and like my close friends and people that know have me, I'm not dealing with it. Yeah, I'm just not dealing with it. My protecting my energy at all costs, I'm not dealing with it.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

For sure, for sure. I agree. I just like I feel like people give people other people too much energy, like too much like power to make them like feel bad or sad or mad or angry or like I'm not gonna give you my power. No, I'm having a good day. You can go over there and have your bad day, yes. You're gonna feed off each other, no, yes.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

I I feel that I definitely feel that because yeah, it's just like people who are always down. That's my thing. Like, I understand people always have something negative to say, yes, always have something negative to say, or always like are having a day. I understand having bad days because we all have them. I think today was like not a great day for me, but you see like how we come in and like my energy is not hounded on what I went through. I'm like immediately we switched. Yes, like because I feel like that's just like the an adult, mature thing to do. Like, I don't wallow in my emotions and what I have going on. I'm just like, okay, this happened, the show goes on, yeah. What's next? How can I turn this around? But a lot of people just wallow in it and they sit in it, and that's the people that I I can't I can't be around or can't deal with.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

So do you believe that, aside from the June theory, do you believe that like there are certain seasons where like things like seasons can affect relationships or like I've heard like of like seasonal depression? Yeah, yeah. Like, do you believe in seasonal depression?

SPEAKER_02 6:30

I do believe in seasonal depression, and I definitely believe in different seasons and like relationships because it's like me and my husband were just talking about this too. It's like two different people colliding the world, and like for me, like around Christmas time, Christmas is like my favorite holiday, but I feel like as an adult and as getting older, it's not the same. And I feel like during that time you really do get seasonal depression and dealing with not having family around or you know, and stuff like that. And like for my husband, he really didn't celebrate Christmas and stuff like that. So, like it's like you know, like he and not having his family around, like, you really do deal with that, and it will affect the relationship. Like one person who's high on energy, like, oh my god, Christmas, yeah, oh my god, or like birthdays, or like birthdays, yeah, and then the other person's like completely opposite, so like it can affect it, but that's also like learning your partner, like yeah, like knowing, like, okay, this is not their favorite time of the year, yeah, but we're gonna push through, yeah, we're gonna push through, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

We're gonna push through, yeah, for sure. I didn't believe in seasonal depression until after I got seasonal depression. Yeah, what season? If you don't it was like when it was cold outside, I think that's me too. December of January, and I was like, why am I just not feeling motivated? And one of my close friends reached out and was like, I think you have seasonal depression, yeah. And like, um kind of gave me like some fun facts about how like hard it is for some people to like pull themselves out of that darkness. Yeah, all you want to do is lay in bed, you don't feel motivated, you can't get anything done, and you know, houses get dirty because you don't feel like cleaning.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

So I was like, wow, it's more yeah. I'm like, that's a real thing. It's truly honestly a real thing because I feel like it was me too. Um that that cold weather is something different. Yeah, it does something different. That's why like I used to live in Ohio, and I always say that like Ohio is like one of the most depressing places for me. Like, just because it's always cold, it's always cold, it's always gloomy, it's always like, I mean, during the summertime, of course, like you know, you do, but like my image of it is like their winter lasts so long, like the cold season lasts for so long, that it's like more depressing and more dark and more like gloomy. And I'm just I have to be somewhere tropical or at least somewhere like sunny and like you know, like radiant. And but yeah, that seasonal depression, it really does sneak up and like grab you because I'm I'm the same way with you. I I did deal with like seasonal depression, um, and then like seasonal depression and postpartum on top of that, it's just not it's not, it's not fun at all. Yeah, and you will sit in the in the house. You don't want to go outside because it's too cold, you don't want to go anywhere because it's too cold. It makes so much sense.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

But I love the cold though. I love the cold. I love winter wear.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

I feel like like the real fashionistas. Yes, now that I will agree. You can actually dress up. Me and my husband talk about the table. You can actually dress up, you can imagine. Like, I love like winter wear. You can actually put together outfits because in the summertime I'm less clothes. It's hot. Less clothing as possible. I don't care if it's a tube top and some shorts, like less clothes, but wintertime you really get to get to put the shit on.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

You get to put that shit on.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Okay, um, are you watching Love Island? Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god. I'm trying so hard. Talk to my this is the third time I'm asked. This is the third time.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

I have been trying so hard. My husband's been watching old Batman's on repeat.

unknown 10:15

What are we doing?

SPEAKER_00 10:16

We can't talk Love Island, guys. I'm sorry. Okay, next episode. Next episode. Oh my god, I got to watch it. I got the team tonight. I seen some little snippets of it though. Okay. Last 75% trending topics. Are you an Amazon? Um, not an Amazon, but are you a overbuyer, like over consumer? Like, do you see things like Amazon finds and you're like, ooh, I need that? Or are you like, nah, I can rock with what I gotta make do with what I have at home.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

So yes, I am definitely that person.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Over consumer.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

I am an over-consumer for sure. But having the husband that I have, he's like made me like chill out. Cause like I am like by now, not as a cart, by right now. Like we're buying this right now. Swipe, swipe, swipe. So we literally swipe it, swipe it, swipe. So definitely so. I definitely am. Um, but I have learned to calm down. I feel like I've been told to calm down. Not by choice. It's not my choice. I'm getting held hostage. That's okay against my Amazon card. That's like a thousand and something dollars. Yours, uh gym wear. I got a whole bunch of gym wearing.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Yeah. I think it's like a one I think it's a woman thing too. I I agree. Yeah, because I'm definitely an overconsumer. Like, I'm like, ooh, what? Amazon finds? Who came up with this? Let me go find commission and put it in my house. It's at the house next day, great.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

But you have so many like handy, like I've yes, at her house, I've seen like so many handy things. I'm like, oh, I need this. Oh, where did you guys see?

SPEAKER_00 11:55

I follow so many Amazon finds accounts, like it's actually ridiculous. Like, I really need to chill out. I'm like, I probably need to be put on a restrained too because I'm always buying something, and I'm now I'm on TikTok shop heavy. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

I've seen so many things on TikTok.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

No, TikTok shop got me in a chokehold. Like to this day.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

I need you to send me over with you fine.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Dang, we're flying through this. We already on 50%. I love it. Relationship check-in. Let's go. Hmm. How are you? And hubby.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

We're good. We're we're good. We're great, actually. I do. I love I love our relationship. I love, I'm definitely the overthinker in the relationship. Um, so like when I think things are not going good, and he's like, oh, everything's fine. I'm just like, oh my god, does he love me today? Am I like, am I doing too much? Does he hate me? Does he seem irritated? And so even like in the moments where I think like things are like not going good, he's like so reassuring.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Like, baby, we're fine, like, you know, just normalizing, just relax, we're good.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

There's nothing going on. I love you to the moon and back, like, you know, just all those reassuring things. Um, so yeah, we're we're doing good. I feel like we have gone through so much already in our relationship, just outside noise more so than than inside noise, just dealing with what we've been dealing with. Um, but we're so strong and so steadfast that it's like even when we go through those moments, we know, like, okay, like we're we're good, we're we're great, we can talk through it, talk about anything. So I do, I I love where we're at right now, and I can't wait to see us like grow. Yeah, that's the exciting part. How about you? How are you and Mr. Sean doing? How's it?

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Um everything's just kind of been like normal.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

Autopilot?

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Yeah, like yeah, like we we've been on autopilot for like a year now. Yeah, yeah, like we have this routine and it's not like a bad thing.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Like it's like I like our routine because we still just like we can still come back together, like at the end of the at the end of the day. And it provides stability.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

That's how I feel too.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

Yeah, like um, but it it does feel like like you know, we're together, but we have like like we just do the same thing every day. Like we literally just do the same thing every day.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

So I think that's the thing for me too. Like we are very routine. Like, I know he goes to work, like, and then I have like my life as a stay-at-home mom, or just doing what I do at home. So we have like a routine, but I think that's the part of me that is like the young person still, because I'm like, I need something, like I need exciting, I need exciting, yeah, toxic. I mean, I don't want any toxicity, but like I want like the excitement and you're like woo and the yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

I think that's like I don't think that's a bad thing. Um, I think still having that like like like we agreed to do like a trip, one trip a month. Like we just go without the kids, me and him, and like regroup and like come back together. And that I felt like still kind of brings that excitement. It it's like a a high. And then like that week where I'm like, oh, I need a I need a vacation. It's like the week before we're like trying to go on vacation. So it's like I don't know, like we're we're in routine, but it's like I like I still like being with him, like in this routine. In the routine with him, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

And that's what matters.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Yeah, I don't see I don't see this routine with anybody else. So like even though I'm on autopilot, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

I feel like though that's like that's like a part of adulthood though.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

Yeah, I like I feel like especially when you're not always gonna be exciting, yeah. You're not always gonna have the like the date nights, like it's important, but it's not always gonna happen. See, sometimes it has to happen at home in my fairy tale world.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

I'm like, I need a date every every week.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Like it's a good thing, it's just you know we still have the the boys. I mean, they're still just little, yeah. Like it's not like leaving, we can't leave them at home yet.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Yeah, so that's how I feel too. Like, we have kids, so we can't just up and and take you know, leave them or you know, and I'm really like finding like babysitters or something. I'm like, oh my god, like I can't. So when we have the kids, it's like even harder for us to to to find that time. Yeah, find that time. But we do, we find it in like the most random ways, like watching a show together or we all work out together, yeah. Like us working out together or like training for this hierarchy. That was free. Yeah, I should say a little shade. Um, training for the hierarchs or just like yeah, working out, doing things. Um, we we'll read together, we'll like do like stuff like that. So like small intimacy, but yeah, I feel like I'm just still chasing that that like thrill. I'm such a thrill seeker though. Like I am like a real you're an adrenaline junkie. I'm an adrenaline junkie. Like, I want to go jump out of a freaking airplane together. That's crazy. I want to go ride motorcycles down the highway going 100 miles per hour.

unknown 17:17

Don't try that.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Don't do that, guys. Okay, don't listen to me. What's something your husband did this week that made you laugh? Have you had like a like a belly laugh this week?

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Yeah, I have. I've had a belly, a few belly laughs with him. Um, our our conversations, man, like our conversations Is it is it dark dark humor? It's a mix between dark humor, it's a mix between sarcasm, it's a mix between like you get on my nerves, but I love you so much. But I'm like, stop playing with me. Like it's a mix between all of that, and there's just moments where he'll say something or I'll say something, and we'll just laugh at each other because we're just like what the heck, dude.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Like, what the heck?

SPEAKER_02 18:04

I love that. Yeah, so definitely like almost I cannot almost every day, almost every day we're having. Yeah, yeah. Cause and even when he annoys me, like today, all he's been talking about is this thing on high rocks. I'm just like, like literally in the car, we got the high rocks, we got the high rocks, we got the high rocks. I'm just like, please, we're good, please.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

We're good on the high rocks, yes, we got it, babe. Yes, we got the high rocks. I think um, I was just talking about this uh I think like two days ago. Sean is a clown, so he's gonna make me laugh, but I think I haven't had one of those like belly laughs. Like, I can't breathe. Like I've had when I hang out with my cousins, oh my god. I'm like on the floor about to pee on myself, like tears rolling down my face, like crying, laughing. Like those type of laughs, yeah. We don't we don't have until like we go on vacation.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

Yeah, and so you either like that and to my I mean I get that, like but he's just a clown on a daily basis, yeah. And and I cut it.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

He's he's a jokester. Yeah, we've yeah, Sean is definitely he does not have a serious bone in his body. I I I kid you not, like that's awesome though.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

I love that. You're kids, your sons are gonna be the same way.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

Ayson is already well on his way of being a fucking class clown. Asen, yes, like dude, you need to chew, and then he knows it. He'll look at you like, yeah, I made you laugh, huh? Like, get out of my face, actually.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

I love that though. I love his little energy, it's so cute.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

Yeah, who do you think is the better communicator between you and your husband? Okay, answer. Answer. Answered.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Oh, honestly, it depends on what department. Okay. Like, I feel like there's departments for that. Like, he's a better communicator with financials. I ain't saying nothing. Um, I'm a better communication communicator with like feelings and emotions and and stuff like that, and like what I'm feeling. He's a better communicator with like logistics and like what we need to do and how we need to do it. So I feel like it's like department, like we have our our areas. Like we have our areas for communication.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

So both of us.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Maybe me more.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Maybe me more, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

What about you? Um, I think as it refers to like a debate. I think I don't know. I think we go tit for tat. Yeah. I think we go tit for tat because I can be a good communicator, but I'm still like the emotional part of the communication. Like he is, you know, he's the more level-headed one. So like he'll help me like work through those, but I still like I'm like, no, this is what happened, this is what happened. He's like, oh, I see now, but like I'm good at like examples, like giving like like really good um examples. So that he understands, so that he understands. Like I I'd flip it on him. Like, I'm good at like pulling like something random. I and I don't even know how I'll be thinking of this shit. But it just it just comes. But like if we just had a debate and like you know, he's like, no, no, and he's real like firm on it. I'm like, no, you gotta think about it like this. Like, you know, let's just say it's with your business. If I make it more business related, then he's like, Okay, okay. You got me okay, you got me. I get it, I get it now. So I think we're like we're like 50 50.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

So do you think that you're more of the like I know naturally women are more like emotional, yeah. But do you think that he understands like the emotional? Side because some men are really emotionally in tune, and like it has to take a lot to get them to understand like the emotional viewpoints, emotional sides, and some men are more logical thinkers, and it's a lot harder for them to understand the emotional side, like they think logistics, they think what makes sense, like in their mind versus it being like an emotional thing.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Yeah, I mean I think it still depends because I can be too emotional. So I don't think it I don't think it takes him. I think he still like validates my feelings. Like he's like, like, I get where you're coming from, but let me explain it to you like this. And he'll put a little logic in there. He won't like try to overpower. Like dismiss your feelings, but he'll put a little logic in there, and I can flip too and be like, okay, I get how that can like be logical. Like it doesn't make sense now. My emotional, now the logic is overpowering the emotional part because he's broke it down logically.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Yeah. I don't know, it's weird, but like the same way because I don't know, I feel like I I'm such an emotional person. Like when I feel what I feel emotionally, I need you to understand my emotions first before we move into logistics. Like, I need you to understand, like, hey, this is the emotional side of it. Yeah. Now when you talk to me logically, you already understand where I'm coming from emotionally. So you can talk to me logically, but make sure you understand like I'm the emotions behind it. Like, I need I need that to be understood. And then we can see, yeah, first. Because I feel like if you don't recognize the emotional side of things, not saying it has to always be first, but if you don't recognize like the emotional side of things, then the rest of the conversation to me, a turn emotional person won't really make sense. Yeah, if that makes sense. But like I'm like, but my emotions, but I feel, but I feel button. I'll just tune them out.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Yeah. I'll just tune out anything you have to say if you don't validate my feelings. Like, I'm not hearing you. I I don't hear nothing you just said, actually, logically or emotionally, I don't really care.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

I don't care because you made me feel like this.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

Now I'm mad.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

No, now I'm at. Now you made me feel mad.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

Okay. Um, what's something that people assume about your relationship that's just wrong?

SPEAKER_03 24:18

I honestly don't know.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Um I really I don't I couldn't say because I don't really pay attention to like and honestly, nobody has said anything like bad about my relationship or like anything. I can't say it doesn't have to be bad. I will say this people think that we are perfect or like we have this picture perfect, like people don't know the groundwork that we have had to put in for our relationship. Like people think like, oh, we just got married, and like, oh, we're just like in fairy tale and like we're always doing something and we're always blah blah blah. Because mainly of social media, and that's the power of social media, but people don't know like the behind the scenes and like the efforts and the work and like the conversations and the sacrifices that we've really had to make to be where we are. Because boy, still making sacrifices to this day, but yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

Um, I've gotten that we don't argue. Yeah, like people are like, y'all look like y'all never argue. I'm like, we don't. We don't, we don't argue, we communicate. We we have we have different we have differences. That's what I call it. Or call I call it debates because we do go back and forth. Have we argued before? Like, like I'm yelling, he's yelling, yes. Yeah, but it's very, very minimal. Yeah, like very, very minimal. I think like nowadays, I don't have the energy for it.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

I think that's where you I mean, but you guys have been together for a while, and I feel like at some point in time in a relationship, it hits that mark where you're just like either we learn how to communicate better and we become better, and we like you know, we find a way to talk and communicate without all the extra, yeah, or we don't, and it's just gonna be a toxic relationship. Like it's really depends on like how y'all want that to go.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

But it could come off as us being like perfect too, but really it's just you know, it gets to a point where it's just like it like aren't you tired of arguing?

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Why do you want to?

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Why do you want to disagree with me? Why why do you want to pick a fight? Like, it's been a long day. I know you've had a long day.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

Like, especially with your partner. Like, that's I think that's how I think of it too. Especially with your partner, like I just want to give love. Like, I want to receive love, I want to give love. I don't want to be mad at you all the time.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

I don't want to be angry and some women wait until their man walks to the door to like pop off. Yeah, no, that's like I'm gonna let him have it because I've had a long day.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

Like, if anything, I'll be quiet and distant. Like, and I can't even say distant, but I will be quiet. Like, I'll still lay in the like lay in the bed and still be there with you, but I'll be quiet, but I'm not on like Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

All right, let's go back to the beginning. We're always going back to the beginning. I was going back to the beginning. Yeah, let's talk about how you and your husband met all the good stuff, don't leave out no details.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

Uh my husband was a stalker.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

I'm just joking. I'm just joking. Um, no, we were both from um Arkansas. Well, not from Arkansas, we were living in Arkansas. He's from Arkansas, so both there. Um, we actually met on Instagram. Like he shot his shot through Instagram, but it started like years ago, you know, like the heart in the pictures, like the sending like little mess comment on stuff, stuff like that. Trying to see if you gonna bite. Yeah, and I didn't think anything of it because I normally don't fold to stuff like that. Like, you gotta like really like come with some pressure for me to do. So he tried to message me at the time my dad owned a trucking company, and he knew about it, and he was had his own trucking company. So he tried to message me in regards to my dad, like, oh, like reach out, tell me about that. But he I didn't know it. I was like, okay, like, yeah, here's my dad's like contact information, blah blah blah, and like putting them in touch with each other. And come to find out, he was trying to like talk to me, he was trying to use that as a way, like a gateway, but I wasn't thinking anything of it. So yeah, time went on, like some years went on, um, even after that, still kind of commenting on things and stuff like that. And then he finally like slid into my DMs on Instagram and sent me a voice memo, like telling me like how beautiful, like of a black woman I was, and just like he really he came like he came with it. I was like, that was bold, that was bold. So I gave him a shot, and literally ever since then we have been inseparable. So yeah, it was a cute instant, cute social media, cute social media, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Okay, come through social media, yes, yeah, making making great things happen. Literally. So what was your like first impression of him? Like when y'all first um like met in person or like seen each other in person. I know that's right.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

I was like, ooh, he is he got a beard, like and it was like a full, like luscious beard. I was like, Oh, he got tattoos, like he was like, I was like, you're my type.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

You're my type. And then he was like such a gentleman, like opening doors and just like the whole nine.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

I was like, take me now. Is that what drew you to him?

SPEAKER_02 29:45

How fine he was?

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Yeah, no, actually. Was it like his his mannerisms like opening the doors and courtships?

SPEAKER_02 29:52

And like honestly, like how clingy he was. Like, I'm not used to a man being clingy. Like, I normally like the clingy one, and like the man's like, oh, you're clingy, like they like it, or like they'll be like, or they don't like I'm normally the cling clingy one, so I've like over the years learned to like not be as clingy, but he was like clingy, and I loved it. Like he was like on the phone all day and all night, like falling asleep, like we were talking, like, yeah, and I was just like, Oh, I like this. Like, yeah, like what did you eat? Did you eat anything having like food delivered? Like, yes, the whole thing, like he was really in in a hot pursuit for me, and I was just like, Okay, like you really like me, like you really like the girls, uh like deep conversations, like the whole nine, and I think that was like what like really drew me into me. It was like, you like me for real, for real. Like, I don't have to like think about it on second guess, like you're every day you're you're pursuing, like every day, like you're on it and you're consistent with it. So I was like, Oh yeah, yeah, you're mine, you're mine. Drop those draws, you're back, you know.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

I'm sorry, she keeps saying drop these draws in the second time, you guys. I'm curious. Hey, y'all seen the first episode, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:08

Anytime of the day, I'm sorry, yeah, day and night.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

That's what she said. That's what she said. Day and night. Okay, so far. Um, what was high what is what has been the highlight of your relationship? Y'all been together for a year. A year, like like relationship a year or married a year?

SPEAKER_02 31:34

Relationship a year, married since February. Okay. Yeah. We're still newlyweds.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

Y'all are still like like newly newlyweds.

SPEAKER_02 31:44

Yeah, we're still newly newlyweds.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

That is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

I thought it seems like y'all have been together for a long time.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

I I say that too. Like, I feel like I've known him forever and like we've been. Girl, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

This is a reality check for me. I seriously thought y'all have been like like together like years and then y'all are like getting married. Oh, we're that's crazy. Y'all didn't waste no time.

SPEAKER_01 32:04

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

I like that.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

Yeah, that's what's up.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

He knew we knew. We was like, we that's what's up.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

That's like one of the first conversations we had, though. Like, do you want marriage? Yeah. Like, is that like what we were both? I mean, because don't waste my time. Literally, and neither one of us wanted our time wasted. We knew we wanted to get married, and I can honestly say, like, within the first couple of months, we knew we wanted to marry each other. Like, I was like, Okay, you're it. He was like, You're it. We put some things in in line, put some things in orders, and we was like, let's just let's let's get married. Like, I want to marry you.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

That's what's up. Yeah, it was beautiful. It was beautiful. No, that is that is beautiful, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

Yeah, it was really beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Dang, that's a reality check, though. Like, I'm still just like in shock.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

Yeah, no, we haven't. Uh, we say that we've we've been married in in lifetimes, like we've known each other in other lifetimes. It's what it literally feels like we've known each other forever. Like, yeah, it's like, oh, I she was my wife in the past. Yeah, but like I think that was my husband in another life. Like, yeah, when we were like Vikings or something.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

Dragons in love.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:10

Um, okay, good, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

So what about you and Sean?

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Little, little um damn. Yes. I gotta go way back.

SPEAKER_02 33:18

We gotta go back to the beginning. Back to the beginning.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Okay, let me see. Okay, so I met Sean in 2019. Okay, we have known each other seven years, been together like six and a half. Okay. Give or take six and a half, almost seven. We're almost at that seven. It's like October is like that seven-year mark. Love it. Okay, I was working at Twin Peaks and he was a regular. And Sean's never. I was a little I was a little skeptical about him because I was like, why is he up here so much? And it's just good things never come out of men who just linger around Twin Peaks. Like to me, it's just like good things never come from that. And I was just like, why is he here so much? And then the girls were like, Tony, Sean's, you know, he's checking for you. Like, he wants your number, he wants to hang out, da-da-da. And I was just like, I'm not really fucked up out a Sean, let alone a guy. Like nobody. Yeah, for you. And I um I was like down bad when I first moved to Dallas. So I was trying to get a car, I was trying to get my place, like my own place, and I just wasn't trying to like hang out. But when I did get my car, fun fact, I got into an accident like a week after I got in my car. And he was at my accident, and I didn't know until like after. Really? Yeah, he was like, I was like, there's there's this random guy in my accident, but like I didn't know it was him until like after he told me he was like, I was there.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

That's so coincidental, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

Yeah, it is. And I was like, he was like, Yeah, like I just wish I could have done more. Like, but I didn't know you like that, and I didn't I didn't want you to think I was weird, but like you were like in shock. And I was like, Yeah, like, and I had I had nobody to lean on. Oh wow, yeah, it was crazy. Anyway, moving forward, um, he kind of like helped me like pull myself out of that like funk a little bit because like he whined and dying. I was still kind of like dating around, but I was like, I'm trying to see who's gonna put more pressure on me. So she was be told that man was running me baths every night. He cooked for me. He didn't want anything. Like, I stayed at his house, didn't want he gave me a garage door opener like day two. It's like park your car in my garage. He was like, I don't want nothing, you can just come here. I know you had a long day at work. I want you to eat, take a bath, and go to sleep. And like I went to his house like day three. I dropped them draws, like night three. I was like, okay, this is yeah, you're much stronger. And then I cut everybody else off.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

You're my stronger baby. It was the first day we met. The first day we got has been met.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

Ooh, yeah, it was it. I it was done for. I was like, Oh, yeah, this is consistent. He's actually showing me, like, yeah, he doesn't want anything from me but my conversation, but like just being around me. Obviously, if I would have gave it up, he would have taken it. But he didn't pressure me. Like, he was just like, I want you to relax. Like, yeah, and it was just like the conversations that we had. He it was an it was eye-opening and it was refreshing.

SPEAKER_02 36:25

And I was like, okay, this is I can do this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Right after that, COVID hit, and we just I was staying at his house. COVID, I mean, like, you had to stay in the house anyway. So I was like, I might as well stay where I'm like, I'm comfortable, I'm having a good time. He feed me. I ain't going nowhere, sir. I'm gonna be here. This is my house now.

SPEAKER_01 36:47

This is my house.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

And really, it was. He was like, put your clothes in this closet and stop playing.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

Like, I was like, Move in already.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

He was like, You've been maneuvering with your foot out the door for about like three months now. Put your clothes in them closet in that closet and stop playing with me. And we just, you know, next thing you know, I'm pregnant.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

She said, Oh shit.

unknown 37:13

That went so fast.

SPEAKER_00 37:14

Yeah, yeah, it went fast.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

Boom, boom, boom, put your closet, closet, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

Oh yeah, yeah. But my first impression of him was like, I thought he was like weird.

unknown 37:28

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 37:29

Yeah, because like like I said, like the Twin Peaks, like being a regular at Twin Peaks, like I just assume every man is not like weird in like like a like a creepy way, but like weird, like why is he checking for me? Like you're up here every day around these beautiful women. Why are you checking for me? Yeah, so that's where I was like, what is wrong with him? There's something wrong with him. But I also thought he was African.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

I thought was African.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

Everybody everybody thinks he's African, but he was he he talked in English. I was like, you so like nothing.

SPEAKER_01 38:02

The first time I met Chad, the first time asked him on your uh TikTok. I was like, Oh, he's African.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

Yeah, no, no, no accent, no African, he's full Dallas Texan, actually. Full Dallas, full blood. Full blood, okay. Oh shit, diehard. Yeah. Um, I think what drew me to him was uh his he was a little standoffish towards the other girls. It's like he wasn't checking. Like he wasn't like I I never had to guess whether he was messing with one of them. Yeah, like he never showed any signs, and he was very straightforward about his feelings. So I was I love that transparency. Like, be real with me, be honest with me, let me know what's up. Like, I told him I was messing with another guy, he told me he was messing with another girl. Like, I was like, Cool.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

Y'all are strong individuals, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

Yeah, because I was like, You're messing with it. Like it was a girl that was supposed to come to his house. I'm putting his business all the way out there, but he was it was a girl that was supposed to come to his house the night that I was there, and he told her not to come. And I was like, Why did you do that? I could have just left. He was like, Why would I tell you to leave? I was like, Well, he chose you, boo. It was you or that wasn't like the beginning, beginning. Like, yeah, that was like first week, first month. I was like, I'm not gonna like just drop everybody because you're saying you want to be with me. No, no, and I need you to understand that I have options too, yes.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

That is so crazy because I think at the time that me and my husband like actually started dating, I was so fed up with men that I like cut everybody off. Like, I was like, I don't want to deal with anybody, and then long and behold, he came. So, like, I mean, there was of course guys that were trying to talk to me and stuff like that, but I wasn't, I was just so over men, and then he came, so I was just like, Okay, all right, I guess I guess, I guess. So, yeah, that's that's actually crazy though. Yeah, that's that's actually that's pretty dope.

SPEAKER_00 39:58

You said we're strong individuals, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Yeah, y'all are. Y'all are some strong individuals, baby. I need them. I the first hour we start talking, they need to be gone.

SPEAKER_00 40:08

Not hour, the first hour of the block every damn.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

The moment that you say I want to talk to her, everybody needs to be gone. Because I'm not that I'm not that strong.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

Okay, last highlight of our relationship. Uh, I would probably have to say Catalina, Catalina Island for my 23rd birthday. Ooh, yeah, that's the highlight I feel. That was like you got pregnant with that was when I got pregnant with Aiden. That was why. Like it was such a high. Yeah. And it was during, it was like kind of not during COVID, but like a little bit after. So like it wasn't a lot of people on the island either. It was very peaceful. Like it was very peaceful. And I think that was like my first trip, like taking a boat to an island. Yeah, I just didn't know it was like that like pure.

SPEAKER_02 40:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:00

The experience was pure and I zipline. Yeah. Oh my god, I love zipline for the first time, and that was an experience. So I think that was that's I always go back to that place because that was where I felt like free.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Yeah, I can honestly say the same for us when we went to Costa Rica for our honeymoon.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Like it was so Costa Rica and your pictures are like beautiful. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

It was Costa Rica was so it was so amazing. It was so dope. I see why people like move there and like it's it's gorgeous, and like the experience kind of like you. Like, we were out in the jungle in the Airbnb, and it was like so healing and so peaceful and like organic. Yes, and organic and relaxing, and like I just feel like you can you can be free. So yeah, those traveling experiences are everything, especially with your significant other. That is like a a different that's a different experience.

SPEAKER_03 41:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

I have to I have to define that now. When I burp, I blow it the opposite way instead of like burping like I don't know if I'll blow it this way and I smell it came back. I smell barbecue. I was like, this does not taste good at all.

SPEAKER_03 42:33

Oh my god. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

Your face, that face stuck for a minute. So your dating phases.

SPEAKER_00 42:41

Yeah. So when y'all were dating, what did you did you see any red flags, any green flags, any when I first like when we first started dating, I honestly think I just I seen all green and maybe I was just like in love and I had like love lenses on.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

Cause I if there was red flags, I ain't seen them. Maybe I ignored them. Maybe they was there and I just didn't. Um, but I don't I don't think that he had red flags. I feel like I made red flags, if that makes sense. Like I was so traumatized from like past experiences that it's almost like self-sabotage. Like, yeah, okay. You created the chaos, yeah. Like I created the chaos in my head, like, or if I seen like little things that could have possibly been like past experiences, or could have possibly been something that I dealt with in the past, and I just like, oh nope, nope, nope. But it was never enough to make me like, I don't want this, if that makes sense. Because I was so hyper vigilant because of past traumas and because of past experiences. So the fact that and I was ready to walk away. Like previously from dating him, I was dropping them like, nope, I don't like the way you do this, I don't like the way that you chew, I don't like the way you look, I don't like the way you sleep in. But I don't like this. Like any little very picky. I was being very picky, but for a reason. Because I didn't want to go through X, Y, and Z. So for him, nothing, even if there was red flags, but there was like to me, I don't think that there was, but nothing that he could have done, like pushed me away. Like it was nothing like I was like, I I want this, like full blown.

SPEAKER_04 44:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Want this. So I don't think that there was any red flags, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 44:26

I don't think I don't think there were any red flags either. I think I don't want to call it a red flag, but it was like uh like my antennas did go up when I first met him, and I found out he had like kids, not like kids, but like he was also um he had a daughter that wasn't that he was that was his daughter, but he it she wasn't biologically his. And it was from his last relationship, which is not a bad thing. It's just like your intuition, like what is this? Like what's the depths of this? How does this work? How is this going? How am I how do I fit in this picture? Like, is this going to be okay? Is the night dynamic gonna change? Like, I didn't want my presence to make his situation rocky, yeah. So when he told me that he was like, I have two kids, and I was like, Oh, cool. And then he specified, and I was like, hmm, let me think on that. Yeah, I'll come back to you, I'll come back to you, but ultimately, um, like green flags across the board, across the board, like he matured me more, like, and I developed uh calmness because I was like super hyper. Like, how did you know, or when was the moment that you felt like okay, this is it, he's the one? Or was there a moment or was it like all like together?

SPEAKER_02 45:56

Um when he was willing to stick around after like all of the BS from my past relationship kind of sealed over into this one into our relationship. And I let me specify, not like dealing with anybody else or like cheating or anything like that. It was just kids, like that when my child's father and stuff was like finally seeing I had somebody new in my life and was like that's what it sounded like to me.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

Sound like he was drowning.

SPEAKER_02 46:40

Good luck when he stuck around for all that and was like on protector mode and like smart woman, like da-da-da. I was like, you're you're it, like that that's that's it for me. Cause there's not too many men that would stick around in the amount of like BS, like I didn't even want to deal with it. Like, I was like, oh my god, please leave me alone. So the fact that he stuck around after that, that was like my I know you're like you're the one. Honestly, since like the first time we met, it was that, but like, you know, I feel like once again, from past traumas, you have those questions, you like need to see certain things play out first to see if this is actually it, or and then you'll create another scenario, like, okay, that played out good. Let me see if this plays out good. Let me see if this plays out good. So, and he just kept checking like the boxes. Um, I think with you, like how you were saying like your antennas went up. I think that was kind of my thing with um his child's mother at first, because I had I have a daughter, an older daughter, and me and her dad were not close, but like respectful relationship, can talk about anything, no issues. Yeah, and him and his child's mother was close, but it was like my antennas went up.

SPEAKER_00 47:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:46

Cause I was like, I don't know about this. Like, okay, close, cool, but like the amount, like certain things that was like said and done on her behalf. I was like, nah, this ain't the type of closeness that your your closeness, the way you are with her, like co-parenting is is is one thing, but the way she's co-parenting with you is feelings that are still attached. Like y'all are co-parenting in two different ways.

SPEAKER_00 48:08

So yeah, I think that was there needs to be some solid like he needs to solidify that across the board too.

SPEAKER_02 48:13

Right. And I think that was my only red flag, but that was more towards her. Cause like once I stated that, he was like, Oh, okay, like cool boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 48:19

Let me yeah, let me figure it out. Got it. Like, yeah. For sure, for sure. Yeah. I think it was like seeing him in dad mode. Like, um, when I actually got to experience being in the house with the kids, because for a long time, I didn't cross paths with the kids. Like, I would come super late at night and I would leave like after they went to school. And like I would stay in the room until after they got on the beach and they went to school. Or I would leave like early before they got up, or like we just they didn't see me for a while. And then he introduced me to them, and he was like, just you know, if y'all see another woman in the house, this is who this is. Her name is so and so, you know, this is dad, this is daddy's friend, and that's and that's daddy's friend, or when it was like family game nights, and like we started to get serious, and I made these like movie cards, like I would make what they made in the movies or like what they're eating then. We had like family like movie nights, and I seen him like be present. I was like, I like this. This seems stable, it seems comfortable, and it looks like something yeah, it looks like something out of a movie, and I like it here. So I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna stay.