Friendships: The Good, The Bad & The Breakups

Friendships are some of the most meaningful relationships we'll ever have—but they're also some of the most challenging to navigate.

In this episode of The ZT Download Podcast, Toni and Zaria dive into the realities of friendship through every season of life. From childhood best friends and military friendships to motherhood, marriage, and friendship breakups, we're talking about the lessons we've learned, the people we've outgrown, and the women who've become family along the way.

We're discussing:
🤎 How friendships change as we grow
🤎 Navigating friendships through marriage and motherhood
🤎 Friendship breakups and outgrowing people
🤎 What true loyalty looks like
🤎 Making new friends as adults
🤎 The importance of having a village
🤎 Red flags, boundaries, and protecting your peace

Sometimes the hardest relationships to let go of aren't romantic—they're the friendships that helped shape who we are.

Whether you're holding on to lifelong friendships, grieving one that's ended, or learning to build new connections in adulthood, this conversation is for you.

Because every friendship teaches us something—even the ones that don't last forever.

Welcome to the group chat.

The ZT Download Podcast — where it's always two girls with a lot 2 say. 🤎🎙

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the ZT Download Podcast. I'm Zarya. And I'm Tony. And we're just two girls with a lot to say. Episode five. Episode five. Cheers, honey. Cheers. We ain't gave up yet. We still here. We're still here.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Update. Check in. We just check it in. My girl had a day, okay? She has had a day, guys. It's been a long day. It's been a long day.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

I'm just trying to come down from my anxiety, my rush of anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

I need some deep breaths. Yeah. You want to breathe?

SPEAKER_00 0:33

I have like I don't I don't think you know. I have really, really, really bad anxiety. Yeah. Like, like, truly, I should be on medication. They try to they put me on medication. They put me on Zolof. Yeah, I'm I'm not gonna do it. I can't. Yeah. I just create it for like I'm not gonna do the I am not gonna do the antidepressants. No, I just I can't.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

I can't do it. It made me worse. Like it made me feel worse. I've heard that.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

I had a friend that was um that was on them.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

And she said she didn't like them. I didn't like it. I didn't like how I felt. I felt sleepy, I felt drowsy, I felt like yeah, like I was just existing, just yeah. So how do you don't know?

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Yeah. I didn't like that at all. I didn't like that feeling. So yeah, I think that's makes me feel better talking through it.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Whatever we can do, we gotta do some jump injacks. I don't know if that would help, but you know, hey. Whatever we gotta do.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

I love that though. Suggestions. I love that. We can try it, maybe. We don't know. We don't know. Wall squats like okay. I'm excited to talk about Love Island.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

Are you?

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah, now that I'm like last episode, she was like, I haven't talked. No, bro, she's been putting in, she's been putting in work. I appreciate that. I appreciate that because yeah, she was on me, y'all. She was on me. Yes, okay. Couple for couple, we're gonna say two, three words, boom boom boom, push through. Okay, all right, and I and KC.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Uh comfortable. Um, that's good. Yeah, yeah. I think they're complacent and comfortable, and they're cute though. I really do like them there. I think they're really cute and low-key toxic. Okay. I see the toxicity. It's not like super out there, but it's it's I I can see it. Okay. Mainly on Casey's part.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

I like that. I like that. I would say Anaya's emotional. She is um, she says she's not like this, but I think she's a little possessive. Like she really doesn't want anybody talking to Casey, but you know, she'll say it to kind of like leave a little lee room for like people to, you know, not have their opinions on their relationship.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Um, I feel like Casey really, really likes soul. So I feel like he's gonna he's gonna try to hit it off of her because he he feels a vibe. I don't think she's gonna go, but I think he's gonna try. But that's not what everybody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

I'm sorry, I ain't gonna lie.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Okay, okay. Kinsey and her love triangle. No, what is the guy she's with? Now, yeah, Kenzie and Caleb. Caleb? Is that his name?

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Yep, the cowboy? Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Caleb. Kenzie and Caleb.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Um mainly on her, I feel like she is so indecisive. Oh, they look so cute together. I'm not gonna lie. Like they thought I feel like they are like perfect together. She just won't give this man a chance. A real chance. Like a real chance, a fighting chance. So stuck up Corbin's, but yeah, but um, I think they're super cute. I think Caleb seems like a really good guy. Like he really does seem like a genuine good guy. Um, and he really likes Kenzie. I think Kenzie's the only person that he likes, actually.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Yeah, yeah, and does, and the only one he has like compatibility with. Yeah, honestly. For sure. I think Kinzie, same, like she can't make a decision. She's not like trying to let Corbin go. Don't know why. There is no connection there. The boy has no personality. He don't, he is not her, he is as bland as he's very like plateau.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Like, you're a cute face, but I got it.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

But I do feel like Mel is bringing his personality out there. Like with the right person, I feel like. And I feel like Mel is really like and it's just not Kinsey. I think they have sexual tension, but I don't think they have like anything outside of that. They have the lust, the lust is there. Love, lust is definitely there, and it's not enough to take y'all far. Like, once you hit that spot, it's like what else you have.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Like, once they go to the hideaway and they do something, it's probably not gonna be there.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Not even. Okay, um, shoot. What's the next one? Soul and sincere. Soul and sincere. Don't get me started on sin. Don't get me started on sincerity. Don't don't get don't get me started on sincerity. Um he is the biggest fuckboy, the biggest red flag walking in the villa right now. Actually, get him the fuck out.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

He is bright red.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

No, bright red. Like get him, get him out. Because he saw Mel pulling away and he said, Nope. Let me reel her back in. Nope. Let me go check in. He told Sol, like, yeah, well, I didn't really have an opportunity to. Oh, you haven't seen the episode.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

To get to know her? Yeah. Yeah, I think that's so. What episode is that?

SPEAKER_00 5:27

That's the one, the recent one. That's the one we were just watching. Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. I have it. I still see.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

It's okay. I still see. I'm still finishing. I'm gonna finish this.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Man, so basically, he he's trying to get her back. I feel male? Yeah. No, it pissed me off. I was in the mail shop, like, this motherfucking bitch. Like, why would you do that? No, no, no, no, no, no. She's moving on. She's starting to really, really get into it. Like, he is that is so nasty. That is so nasty. She's finally over him, and now he's like, Oh no, I didn't have an opportunity to talk to her. So what? It's been like three, four days. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 6:08

You don't need the opportunity to talk to her.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

You don't need the opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

She made it very clear when she said she is glad that this is over and we can just move on from this, and she doesn't want to be in a love.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

But she's also coming back down from that like heightened, like, I'm so in love with Sincere. And now he's like, Oh well, let me chat with her real quick. Leave her alone.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

He's a narcissist and he's self-absorbed, and he wants all the attention on him, and he wants all these girls to want him, and he needs to feel wanted by all these girls. And because he has soul and Melanie, is like, oh my god, they both I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

I used to date someone like exactly like that. Like I will literally throw up attention seekers. That's so ugly. If the room is not talking about them, they get pissed off.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

And you know what? People like that are small, like they're so small, they think that they're so big, but you're so small because you're really miserable inside and you're looking for attention because you don't you never got that as a child, I guess. Like grow up sincere. Um, because like what is the giving? Or you were already all like, oh, the plaster boy, the plaster girl, and you're so pretty, and that's all you are.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

Who else is it? Let's we haven't talked about Melan Corbin.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Melan Corbin, Melatonin!

SPEAKER_00 7:14

That's my girl. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 7:15

And did you call her Melatonin?

SPEAKER_00 7:19

Hey, look, Melatonin, she had her time. Melatonin. She didn't show her ass. But I feel like she's gonna make a comeback. I feel I really do. I really do. I'm really for her because she is very pretty and I feel like she has a good heart. She maybe look crazy, but I feel like she needs someone to kind of like settle that craziness. But like, she's good. She's good in my book.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Like, she's that's what I was like. I feel like if she rocks with you, she really rock with you. Like you find something solid, like whatever like bumps and like little emotional stuff that y'all can get through. Like, once y'all get past that, like she's like solid. Like she's for sure. She she rolling with you. So I like Mel. I like Mel a lot, actually. Yeah, I do. I I fuck with her heavy.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Uh Corbin. He's still bland. He's so like there is like just I really don't like how Kenzie is moving with Corbin, though. Like, I don't I don't like I don't like how she's like flopping, yeah. Like you, you want you talk about who did she say want their cake and eat it too. No, that was that was melatonin in this.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Yeah, sincere, but that's really her. Like, she's like the female version of the case. But she's a female version of it.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Sincere just not as bad, obviously. But she talks about how she's never had to like flip-flop between two people, but I think she kind of likes it though, like because she hasn't had it, she's experiencing it, and she's like, Oh, I think I kind of like this. These men are fighting over me.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

It's like the chase of like having two men, which you know what, by all means, girl, do your thing, do your thing. This is what the TV show is for. So I I completely get that, but like for sure, move with purpose. That's all I say. Like, move with purpose, like in class, in class, in class, because you're like hiked up all over freaking freaking Corbin while Caleb can see you is crazy. That's crazy. I'm not gonna lie. And that would push me by anyway, but nonetheless, um, yeah, Corbin doesn't really have he's not really, he's not doing it for me. He's a pretty face, and I feel like that's that's literally like and that's all he's ever had to be is a pretty face. Yeah, and I feel like uh, and he even said he's like he's used to getting girls, like he's not used to being rejected, so all the times he was asking all those girls for kisses, and they were just like, Yeah, and he's really young too, so I feel like yeah, he's just not.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

I feel like the other three couples are just kind of like eh. Um, who is it? Uh, what's her name? That's with um Jen? Bryce. Oh, Bryce. Oh, Trinity. Trinity, y'all. Trinity and Bryce. I feel like they're coasting. I feel like they're okay. I feel like they're bored and they're waiting for somebody to come in and they're coasting. That literally just like just nothing.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Bryce really pisses me off. Why? Bryce really pisses me off because I feel like he says these things to like Trinity, like, oh, we're good. Like, or like he'll like for like these like a little reassure. Yeah, for like these like little reassurance moments of like, cause he wants the reassurance, and then he's like trying to give her like the reassurance, but the way he says it, it just seems really non-genuine. Like, it doesn't seem like I don't know, like I can read between the lines, and I feel like I wish Trinity would too, because him trying to freaking go talk to Kato was like the biggest red flag for me. Cause what do you mean? Yeah, that's your best friend's girl, like they have a solid thing going, and you're like trying to get it. That was definitely fucked up, but that was so messed up, and as Trinity, I would be like, Okay, yeah, but in that little competition or challenge thing, he did say he he was the one who used the a front a girl to get to the front. Yeah, I mean, this is kind of like literally the same thing, honestly. Like, yeah, and you're too old to be acting like that. Like, I just don't he doesn't give trustworthy, like he doesn't give trustworthy at all. He he's cool, he seems like chill, but he doesn't give trustworthy. And Trinity, I don't know how I feel about her, honestly. Like, I feel like she's really like just she's kind of just just there. I feel like she has like hidden insecurities too. Like that she tries to mask, it's like she's okay, but she has some like real insecurities, which I feel like all of them do, but it's okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

It's okay to have insecurities, guys. Just don't uh be a bad person.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Zach and Kata. I love them. I do.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

I really I think they're like my favorite couple.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Yeah, like I really love Zach and Kata.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

I'm glad they got that oh the hideaway.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

All I see is when they started pulling out the toys.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Yeah, they got the sexual tension out the way. Oh, yeah, great. Because they've been like frisky, like the entire time they've been in the villa, they've just been like waiting for the opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

They're not really cute together. Like I think they are really, really cute together. Um, and they they they fit like they mesh really well. I love that. They mesh really, really well. So I love because I like Zach and I like Kata too. Like she's she's the inner me. Like I like her. So yeah, there's like second favorite couple.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

Who's the last one? Is that everybody?

SPEAKER_01 12:14

It's one more. Jen and Gabrielle. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

See, I forget about them.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

And then there was Bia and Sean. Bea.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yeah, it was Bea and Gabriel first. I just still hate that for Sean, but um I forget about Gabrielle and Gabrielle and Jin. Nothing. I have nothing to say. They're just Gabrielle.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

I he's annoying.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

He's a fuck boy.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

He irritates my soul.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

But I'm glad he found someone who can like settle like his like impulsiveness.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

I am glad that she humbled him. She humbled him, and I say that because he was these men, because I feel like since he was the same way, Corbin's the same way, like, oh, I'm fine. I know I'm fine, like, yeah. And Jim literally told him, You're not my type. You're not what I normally go for, but you have a great personality. And he couldn't handle that. He's like, I've never had anybody tell me that I'm not their type. Yeah, but like that was so humbling, and I was like, Yes, like put him in his place. Put him in his place. He just out here, like, I can get anybody that I want. I'm really good again. And the accent like you're annoying. Sit down. Yeah, you're not her type, but she's giving you a chance, so don't ruin it. Seriously. Like, honestly. Seriously.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Yes. She's she's um humbling him and grounding him too. Cause I feel like he's not as hyper as he was, like trying to jump in everybody's, like, oh, let me pull you, let me pull you, and let me pull you. He's like, Oh, I really like her. Yeah, she's almost like like calming him down, and she's a Gemini.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

She is a Gemini. She is a Gemini. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

He's a Virgo. I'm done. That's crazy. That's not gonna work. That's not gonna work. It's not gonna work at all. Because actually, Gemini's a hate burgo.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Yeah, it's like not gonna work. That's absolutely a no-go. So it's not gonna last, but it's it's not gonna last.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

We're gonna do a QA to start off this uh friendship style episode.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Alright, alright.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Alright, so pick one. Um, it's either or. So yeah. Alright, alright. Alright, um, always shows up or always tells the truth. A friend who always shows up or always tells the truth. Which one would you prefer?

SPEAKER_02 14:32

A friend who always tells the truth.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Really?

SPEAKER_02 14:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Dang. I would I would pick the one who always shows up, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can see definitely having somebody who shows up, but I think for me, telling the truth builds loyalty. Like it has that loyalty and that trustworthiness. Yeah. And for having a friend, like, I need to be able to trust what you say. Yeah. And stuff like that. Um, as far as like showing up too, they're like, yeah, show up for me, but I don't know. I think in my adulthood, I'm just like, I expect people to show up less. Because life.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Yeah. And I think that's kind of why I'm I went towards the always shows up for me because I have that friend group that it's hard for us to do that. So the moments where it's important, I expect you to be there. Yeah. So I I get that that's kind of cool. I like that. I like that. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Okay. A friend who makes you laugh or gives great advice. Gives great advice.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Locking it in.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Yeah, it gives great advice. Because I feel like we need that in a friends or at our big ages, we need people to talk to.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Like laughing will come. Yeah. But I feel like the advice is like I need you to be more open. Or maybe I have to lean on you um a couple times, or you know, I expect you to have more experience in the situation than me, or you know.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

But if you give bad advice, like I would not look at you as a friend.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Yeah, no, seriously. Like, I need some solid grounding advice. Seriously. Oh, don't go shoot somebody. Like, don't go beat up somebody. I need that advice because Tony, where were you? Where were you? Why didn't you tell me that too?

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Shooting someone is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Yay. You never know, man. People spaz these days.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

A friend who knows everything about you or supports every dream you have. Ooh. Supports every dream I have.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah, definitely supports every dream.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Knowing everything about me is easy.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

I mean, yeah. That's easy.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

That's too easy. I'm very, I'm pretty sure. Support me. Yeah. Definitely agree with that one.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Support me. Okay. What is your or what has been your longest friendship?

SPEAKER_01 17:12

My longest friendship. Um one of them was with a Gemini, actually. Yeah. We're not friends anymore. We're not friends anymore. Um, she was one of my longest friendships. It ended in college. She started in like middle school. Bel Air. Is Bel Air Middle School? I don't know. Started in like middle school um and then it ended in college. Um, so that's that's a long time.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

That is a long time to be friends with somebody. Um, and then my other friend, we've been friends for like 12 years. So whoa.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

My longest friendship has been seven years thus far. Thus far, yeah. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

That's actually that's like oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

12 years is a long time. It is.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

And that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. You because I don't know, it's like so crazy because you have these long-term friendships and see how like different you guys become. Cause I think we're both like in different paths right now. Yeah. Like um just navigating life and what we're going through. But it's so crazy of how like y'all can still stay so connected.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Like, or even if we're not like connected, like I don't talk to her every day, but like that's my best. Like, at the end of the day, that's like my sister. Like, that's my best friend. Like, she calls me, I'm coming. Like, you need anything, I'm on my way. Like, yeah, what it like at the end of the day. But the I'm such a uh a loyalty person. Like, once we're locked in and we actually say like we're friends, and like in my mind, I have like this proving, like, proving like you prove to me like we can yeah, we can be be that, then I'm like my loyalty is there. Like, you won't ever have to like question the loyalty. So I take friendships very seriously, like relationships, like me too.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Yeah, same. But seven years, seven years, yeah, yeah. Um, most of my friends, I my like hard friendships I established when I was at Twin Peaks when I moved here, yeah. And I lost a friend, like a best friend when I moved here. And we'll get to that, but I just it's just it was hard.

SPEAKER_02 19:25

Yeah, it was hard, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Yeah, um, are you the planner friend or do you or are you the tell me when to show up friend? Tell me when to show up. I'm the planner friend.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Yeah, that's I I didn't realize I love how we we are like that.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

No, seriously. I love to host. Yes, like I'm not like bring yourself. Don't bring any, like, don't bring anything. I got everything. Yes, like and it's gonna be all set up, it's gonna be all cute. I just want you to bring yourself in the vibes.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Yes, I've literally noticed that about this. One of the first things like, oh my gosh, she has everything. I get anxiety planning things, like I get overwhelmed by planning things. I love it. Yes, because like I'm just like, I don't, I'm so I'll critique myself of every little thing, and I'm like, okay, this has to be like perfect, and I'll get overwhelmed like, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah, I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. Like, my husband plans all the trips because I'm like, uh, yeah, we're just gonna stay here. Like, I don't know what to do, we're gonna go here. I don't know. Like, I just it's an override for my body, like trying to process and plan everything because my mind just wanders and goes off.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

So that's perfect. I love how that mesh. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

I didn't know that about you, but I love how that mesh. That's crazy. How many friends do you think a person really needs?

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Ooh. On average, um, I guess I ooh. That's a good question. Can you go first?

SPEAKER_01 20:43

I had to think about that. I'm going to say four to five. Okay. Four to five, for me personally, I think like three is for me personally. Um, I'm just very time. It's it's not perfect at night. It's time for you to watch melatonin and go night. Um I'm just a very close-knit person. Like, I don't, I don't like having so many people. Yeah, I hate. Yeah, like in my in my lives or like in my business, or like I feel like I have to spread my because I feel like having a lot of friends say that things like a lot of empathy. And I'm a very empathetic person, and like a lot of myself, and I don't have, I have life is enough. And I don't have a lot of that's a word. Yeah, like life is enough, and then I feel like dealing with more people brings more drama and more, you know, whatever they have going on, because you really do accept that person into your life and accept everything that they are and how they are. So three honestly for me is my max, but I would say like average person, four to five. Like, I don't outside of that. Why do you need yeah? I'm questioning why you need so many people outside of the line. No, seriously. Outside of that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

I agree. Yeah, I would say four to five, too. I'm gonna I'm gonna take.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

that yeah four to five I feel like that's good that's good that's an that's an average adult number of friends okay we're we're we we're rolling through it all right 50 we are motherhood versus friendships this is gonna be interesting interesting and and hardcore too because it's some hard questions in here okay some it's some real hard questions I think I'm gonna have to like I don't know we're just gonna roll it we're just gonna go with it you get what you get and you don't gonna fit maybe you get what you get you don't fit okay so um balancing husband kids friendships oh yeah yeah we're there I'm surprised my husband isn't calling me right now no seriously like I'm surprised his buddy's not calling me right now let me make sure actually oh yeah it is to call me I'm keeping her it's cool it's cool it's cool it's cool it's cool it's cool it's cool your mother explained to him tell me he was no what what what is it like for you nowadays balancing the kids balancing home balancing husband balancing friends balancing you or is there anything left for you after balancing it all honestly I think I'm I'm in this place of like still trying to figure that out yeah and I say that because like we have so much going on in our lives that a lot of times I like I'm just going with the flow of things like okay this week this this this is me this week we need to do this this and this like I literally just take it day by day and week by week because I really do feel like if I like we will plan things out and we will sit down and we will like plan blah blah blah and then by next week everything has changed like oh my god we gotta readjust this we gotta readjust to this we can't do like and it's like always like a constant readjusting yeah so I just feel like for me I just take it day by day yeah I'll have my expectations for like long term goals and like what we're trying to do but then with that like day by day week by week I'm just like okay whatever whatever you got for me as far as time management goes of balancing like my husband and kids and friends it's exhausting it is exhausting and it is a lot and I think that's why I give people grace I give people so much grace because if you cancel on me I'm not gonna be mad at you because I understand like I get it like if you like I can't make it today or weekend I'm like cool yeah great cool and I I don't hold that against people I know some people do like I will never hold that against anybody because trying to balance life in general even if you aren't married just balancing life in general is is it can be exhausting it can be a lot and it can take a lot from you um so for me I just I try to find a balance in that um also having a supportive husband um is so important like it's so important like oh my gosh to have somebody that's like okay like I you know like and an understanding because I feel like that goes both ways too because my husband working I don't like it I don't like him working because why are you not with me all day every day why why do you have to go to work you know you don't have to go to work why you have to go to work you can quit this is me telling you can quit um but yeah like we just do we support each other in in in every way um and and your kids will take the most I they're so selfish they are so selfish the cutest things ever but those babies like me me me give me all of you right now you're my mommy give it here and it doesn't care so kids they are they will take it all and a lot of times you feel like you don't have anything left um yeah I think for me I I have to have my recharge days I have to have my go on a cocoon go on a show and go and just recharge and sometimes that can even like take take a lot for me like I just want to sit here all day and do nothing. Sometimes I don't even turn the TV on sometimes I literally will sit in my living room silence.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

And silence I do the same thing really yeah I I like when the TV is not on yeah like Sean will come home and the TV will be off and the boys will just be playing and I'm just like okay I can handle one thing. Yeah and he'll come in and turn the TV on like why don't you have the TV on like turn it off that's literally oh my God that's literally my husband turn it off why I it was all for a reason he will come and turn the TV on and then he'll go on in the other room and he'll turn the TV on I'm like dude enough turn it all off everything to lash out crazy I'm you can't but I do I will sit there and I will literally just be in my thoughts or like I don't know like I think it's a good time to like be in your thoughts and just get it like all out like overthink as much as you want and just get it like yes all out because like when Asen's down for a nap and Aiden and is at Aiden is at school got a tongue tied um I will just sit yeah I'll sit at the the lunch the breakfast table and I'll just be like in your thoughts like just being there this is nice and I don't think it's so crazy because I feel like only women either only women get that or only like you get like my husband doesn't get like he doesn't get like oh my god just sitting there noise no sound yes no sound like no sound quiet peace and quiet like yes it's so relaxing it is so I'm glad I'm so glad that they'll be well I can relate for sure yes okay what about you what about you how do you um what do you gosh I almost forgot about me that's like it's it's wild that it it says what's left for you because I don't feel like at the end of the day anything's left for me after I've I've done the kids and I've done the the cleaning the cooking the you know making sure everything's in place and then Sean comes home and I have to now be available to him and talking things through with him and at the end of the day I'm ex I'm literally exhausted. I have no time for my friends but I did say that this year I was going to start making time for my friend like literally putting it in my calendar to hang out with this friend and hang out with this friend all week I need to make a day for every friend a bracket for every friend okay we hung out this week I can go next week without hanging out with them the next week after that I need to start it back up like and I'm like I don't know how I do it yeah I just I just don't know like and I I don't I hate for my friends to feel like I abandon them but I literally like it's so much throughout the day I don't see a a space for that for friends.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

I don't see a space for socializing I don't see but you really really need that especially when you're at home with kids and toddlers and all you're doing is talking to kids I think that's another thing like men don't get and I can't say just men because some women don't get it too because they don't have that. Yeah but just people don't get sometimes like you're just at home literally talking to toddlers all day saying one word saying one word or or two words or two words or like it's just you're talking to a kid and I honestly got to a point where I was almost like you know I think I prefer talking to my kids than I do adults like she understands me. Like she gets me oh my gosh she gets me I'm like okay I'm going I'm going to Lulu I'm going to Lulu guys but yeah so how do you feel like you prioritize um like how do you think your the balance is that gonna be like as far as you like doing every every other week like trying to find that balance I I have to sometimes force it.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Yeah like I literally have to like put everything else aside and I've told myself too that like because I felt guilty about like taking that time for myself hanging out with my friends going out girls night this girls night that I felt guilty for leaving my kids behind but I saw this quote online that I said fuck them kids because my husband tells me all the time you know what I say that all the time like that's my my cousins know that I'm heavy on that like I stand on business when I go fuck the kids but I saw this quote that was more like it was light it was lighter. It was your kids are not gonna remember this they're not gonna remember when you weren't there. Yeah they're gonna remember when you were there and things were fun and things were happy and you know they're gonna remember the great memories so you having a girl's night out taking time for yourself is okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

Especially when majority of your time is spent with them yeah they're not going to for sure yeah heck yeah do you think wait um I'm sorry do your friendship did your friendships change after you had kids like do you feel like you like lost maybe a friend um after you have kids yes and no like my friend that I've been friends with for like 12 years we kind of went through like the same things around the same times like both of us we actually literally were pregnant she had a kid she s sneezed on me and she said I'm gonna sneeze on you and get you pregnant I went to go visit her she sneezed on me and jokingly it was like I'm gonna sneeze on you I'm gonna get you pregnant ha ha ha ha how you sniff me and I was pregnant so it wasn't a joke Kylie that's some weird witchcraft type shit it was such like a joke but like oddly I was like oh my god I actually ended up pregnant so we kind of went through the same things around the same time that is crazy is actually insane so with her no I never I never like feel like I lost a friend other people like I can't really say that they were my friends I feel like they were just like seasonal seasonal friends like my job that I worked at and different people that I met in different places they were like seasonal friends um and I expect them to come and go because I was moving around a lot military and stuff like that so I had in my mindset that these are not like long term friends. Um and I'm I was okay with that but all in all no like my best friend was that was Rotterdie been here at the river thing.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

I think um now that I think about it I did lose some friends I lost a great deal of friends I did I I had to like actually think about it but after I had Aiden I had a really big group of friends like I think it was like six of us and I don't talk to any of them anymore none of them like and I don't know if it was because I don't want to blame it on postpartum or like just me having kids in general but I don't that's kind of crazy now that I think I don't I don't talk to any of them anymore like none of it. I I will put it as yeah I think maybe we just you know we grew out of that friendship and it just like none of us talked anymore and it just happened that's crazy though yeah that's kind of weird too I d I almost forgot it's weird that's weird and that's uh it's kind of scary yeah I guess kind of scary to know who will stick to you I mean and and it's very telling yeah like you just know like I mean I feel like having kids is like the biggest change in a woman's life one of the biggest changes in a woman's life in a person and anybody who sticks by you is like wow like we're locked in locked in I don't think I I've I have one friend no one friend yes I have one friend that I know of that has been friends with me both before baby and after baby like still friends with me to this day yeah okay there um do you think only moms understand moms yeah yeah yeah yeah I think that yeah yeah for sure I'm gonna give an example because and this as as it relates to me and Sean and his ex-wife I didn't really and not even just his ex-wife my mother too I didn't I don't I didn't see what they were feeling until after I had kids and now I can like literally live through that like how like um possessive yeah you can be over your kids. Yeah and how much you're just like you don't play about them like with anybody with any like nobody can have that like um nobody can have that access okay nobody can have the access to your kid like you can and so like moms will like fight you fight I was over your over your kids like and I didn't I didn't get that no seriously I didn't get that until after I had my own okay how much you know like like don't play with me. This is like literally like don't play with me. Yeah like please I can get scary if you know it's good for you if you know seriously something safe to do yeah um what about you yeah I I think so I think only moms understand moms because of the lived experiences like you don't truly know something you can think you know you can feel you can empathize you can sympathize you can feel feels through other people but until you actually go through something like that and actually have that connection you will never understand because I think it's kind of like it can be kind of um god damn what is up with me today I don't know it can be it can be um this needs to be a clip this needs to be a short needs to be a short guess what I can't do this I'm not gonna do this today it can you can be passive I'm laughing I'm sorry let me get passive aggressive you can be passive about like kids like children yeah if you don't have kids you can be really passive about the conversation because you don't know what that feels like yeah birthing a child bringing a child into life and like actually having to like care for them and feeling them and being connected with them you don't really know what that feels like so when people talk about their children you can be like ah just talking about her kid again but it's like that's a real deal like deep connection that a mother has yeah that you really don't want to cross but like I've I've been that person that's like been very passive about children like I don't get it I don't get why people are so like I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this until I had kids and I'm like girl you have no idea I understand completely yeah you have no idea yeah is it harder to maintain friendships with friends who don't have children yes you think so yeah my my experience personally yes I feel like people who don't have kids especially like women and maybe like even younger maybe older women yeah but like they just don't understand the depth of like what it is you you you need to do or how you have to move or scheduling or you know like like I said life be life and like hey like I can't hang out or I can't make it to you know your girl's trip or I can't da da da because you know life happens um I mean I've had that with women who even had kids like I had to cancel a trip because of an emergency like that that happened within my family and it was like a bachelor a bachelorette trip and like she stopped being my friend over it which I understand like the depths of like hey like that was really important to you but like I let you know like this is like a legit family emergency.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

I'm not gonna put my family's business out there but it was like a legit like family emergency and things happen and I would never like just personally for me like it might I might be mad about it I might need a few days I might need like a week or something to get over it. Yeah but I'm never gonna cut somebody cutting somebody off just because of that and um I think just like moments like that it just makes me like realize and see that people who don't have like kids or don't understand not even just kids like just depths of of life I guess I don't even know what that would be called like what is that like lack of empathy like like situation scenarios I don't know what that would be called but um yeah just like not being able I'm you right now because I don't know what words I'm trying to find now I'm acting like you girl I will literally go blank it's like a like what the fuck did you think literally oh my gosh the Bible's like going faster than what I was like can't think straight.

SPEAKER_00 40:02

I couldn't think straight but yes I do think it's hard to maintain those words because they don't they don't completely and fully understand your life um and it is like so I feel like those kind of friends want to hang out all the time want to do this all the time and when you're like I can't I don't I got kids like I got kids like hey let's wake up tomorrow let's just you know go to Africa I got kids Africa is crazy I got kids I'm gonna have to disagree I'm gonna have to disagree I have disagree I have two friends to this day who have been friends with me for years who don't have kids and one of those friends is the friend that I've been friends with for seven years. Wow yeah that's actually beautiful though no it is like she is the dopest girl I've ever met in life and she completely gets it like completely sympathizes with the fact that like I can't make it I'm sorry I can't make it let's reschedule she's like girl you're good like I get it like you're good yeah and um like I I just love them to death like I think they are one of my favorite friends outside of my mom friends both of them are my favorite friends and they really do sympathize and like one of them has even offered like I will come keep your kids for you that's beautiful yeah like that's beautiful love love him down love you Devin literally what the hell like and I'm like what like I I like you're we're locked in for like you don't understand you're never going anywhere actually I will find you no but yeah yeah I don't I don't I think it can be hard for people who don't know what it's like and I see that that can be like a friendship like that goes down the drain because they're like oh well girl she always has her kids or she's always talking about her kids and but there are the ones that are like actually do get it they actually do get it and they they're not gonna give you a hard time and that's refreshing because I guess I just got the experience of the ones who didn't get it um and that's cool though yeah that's cool though but that's we can talk about both experiences that's refreshing to know that there are like people out there's hope. Yeah there's hope that you can find a friend that doesn't have kids doesn't want kids but can also sympathize with you having kids. Yes. Who showed up for you oh a postpartum during postpartum like what can you like put a a finger on a friend who showed up for you or just anybody like a family member no I'm the same way like literally I mean like I feel like I had like I don't know I'm gonna say like I had support like I had people like you know bring me things and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

Yeah and come over and like see my kids I mean with my first with my oldest maybe I had a little bit more because her father's mom was very very much involved still to this day like that's when I was saying it was like my second mom. So she was very heavily involved like pretty much that was her child honestly I just birthed I just birthed the baby um so she was heavily involved for my my baby but like me I didn't have like really anybody there for me my best friend was there but she also lived miles and miles away like hundreds of miles away so she couldn't really like physically be there the way I needed to be but mentally yes um emotionally yes crazy the second my second my youngest no I that was the hardest that was the hardest time mine too of my life was my second um I didn't have anybody and I felt like I was literally like drowning. I felt like I was going insane and I've never felt that way like I isn't it I don't even know how to fully describe it because it's like such an I'm about to cry it's such a like a girl like that was like the weirdest that was the hardest time and it sucks because Like a lot of people, you don't have you really don't have no tissues either. It is okay. Like, you really don't have when you don't have that support, like during postpartum or like you feel like nobody gets you, and you like nobody understands, and then on top of that, I was in the worst relationship of my life, and the most toxic. So like I just felt like it's somebody was just like bow, bow, just keep hitting you right now, keep hitting you right now. And it was horrible. It was horrible. So no, I didn't I didn't have I didn't, I literally had nobody. And I was in San Antonio by myself, away from family, like away from everybody. Like it was just me, my baby, and yeah, the devil himself. Uh the devil himself. So it was like it was really that was probably like the hardest time of my life, honestly. Like I would take that as like the hardest time over my childhood trauma, over everything. That was the hardest time. Because like you have a whole other human being, yeah, that's like depending on you.

SPEAKER_00 44:57

Oh girl.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

And it sucks. It really does suck. So what about you? I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm sorry. I've grown from it. I'm just I'm here. Yeah. Yeah. That's all that I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

Um, have you ever become that friend that has disappeared on your friends? Or do you disappear? Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

And I say this because not like remember earlier, I was saying like I friends who weren't like I can't really say friends, like more like associates or people who I felt like were seasonal. A lot of times things would happen. I'm such a loyal friend, so like ride or die through a lot of stuff, but I uh do not like drama. I don't like unnecessary conflict, I don't like you know like those people that just always have some type of something going on and like likes to drag their friends into it. Like I mean, like I could I have stories, but and even through that I'm trying to like be their friend. Um I my meter, like I would I will get tired of it and I'll just be like, okay, like this is not working for me. Like I can't be your friend, or something would happen, and I'm just like, all right, we're done. Like, and I'll just stop talking to you. I'm okay with that. Like, I'm energy, yeah. That that energy. And I'm totally okay with like if I do not serve you a purpose anymore in your life, I may be hurt by it, but I'm so resilient that it's like, okay, like I I really genuinely don't like there's probably only my best friend. No, she could never cut me off. We we've tried. We've tried in seasons. We've tried, we tried to cut, and we ain't try, I ain't gonna lie. It was more so of her, like, eh, you made me mad. And it was like two days, three days went by. I love you so much, you're my best friend in the whole world.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

So I mean, that's a real friend though. Yeah, like y'all can go through seasons of like being mad with each other and like like having like conversations that just didn't hit right, and you're just like feeling this type of way, and y'all still come back together. That means that like y'all aren't going anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 46:48

Literally, that's why I said, like, we're we could never like grow. Yeah, I will find you. Yeah, I think I will.

SPEAKER_00 46:54

I'm definitely the friend that disappears. Yeah, and my friends know it. Like, I'm not like I will not text back.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

I'm the same way. I am I will not text you.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

No, no, for you won't hear from me for a couple days. But I'm when I pop back up, I'm like, girl, I will act like nothing even happened.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

I've been here the whole time. I'm so understanding. When you mean I disappeared, I was here. Am I here? Like, I'd be so understanding. I'm so glad we had this because like I we've had those moments. Like, you'll text me, I will respond for a few days, or I'll text you and be that.

SPEAKER_00 47:27

And I'm like, she'll get back to me. Yes, like I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_01 47:29

Like I'd be a person. She'll get back to me.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

It's fine.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

We are not. I am I honestly, but I can't speak for you. I know for me, but I feel like you're the same way. Not high maintenance friends. I am not a high maintenance friend.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I'm at the bottom of the barrel. Like, we could see each literally like we could see each other once a year, and I'm like, girl, we're like this. We're locked in. We're like this. I promise. I'm I promise you uh so much grace. Yes, so much so much grace. So you don't have to worry about a thing.

SPEAKER_01 48:04

I am definitely a good one.

SPEAKER_00 48:05

No, but I'm I'm that friend that's gonna disappear on you. And you won't hear from me. And so if you are a high maintenance friend, we're not gonna deal with it.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

Honestly, I can't do it.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

I can't do high maintenance.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

Like yeah, I'm gonna irritate it.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

Girl, I can't hang out with you, I can't talk to you, I can't be on the phone with you, I can't teach you back on time. Like, I can't. I'm sorry, I can't. I'm sorry, you're gonna have to go find somebody else who can't.

SPEAKER_01 48:25

Don't FaceTime me every single day.

SPEAKER_00 48:27

Oh, don't FaceTime me at all.

SPEAKER_01 48:28

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 48:29

Oh, and my family know not to FaceTime me.

SPEAKER_01 48:32

They do.

SPEAKER_00 48:33

They do. I'm not gonna answer the phone. Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_01 48:36

Why are you?

SPEAKER_00 48:36

I'm not my auntie just FaceTime me like like a week ago. She was like, I know you don't like this. Okay, so can we get off?

SPEAKER_01 48:42

Good day.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

I love you though. Have you ever ended a friendship? Let's go there.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

Yeah? Yeah, you have you go, me go.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 48:53

Yeah, mine's mine's a little spicy, so.

SPEAKER_01 48:56

I have. I mean, I feel like mine's in.

SPEAKER_00 48:58

I've ended a lot of friendships, but I've ended a lot of friendship.

SPEAKER_01 49:00

No, I haven't like just ended like, oh my gosh, we're not gonna be friends anymore. Like I was saying, something always happened, whether it was me or just they had too much drama or what I had going on. My friend from college, it ended because we fought. Yeah, we got to fight. And it was the stupidest thing. I mean, honestly, I think it was a stupid thing. I think it might have been like a buildup, animosity, um, I would say jealousy to just I mean, I don't know. I feel like it was like a really weird situation. Uh I feel like she had found other friends and like like pushed.

SPEAKER_00 49:33

You got as far as fighting?

SPEAKER_01 49:34

Oh, yeah, I got as far as fighting, and like, you know what the last straw was? What? Me mixing up Chipotle bowls. Like we ordered merely the same thing, and there was like two Chipotle. We stayed together, and it was like two, like the two Chipotle bowls in the refrigerator, and I ate hers, and she got mad because I ate her Chipotle bull, and like we were just like going back and forth, and I was like, girl, where are you at?

SPEAKER_00 49:55

Yeah, she didn't like you.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

Yeah, because Chipotle, I'm like, girl, where are you at? I'm pulling up. Damn. Literally pulled up. Okay. Because what are we doing?

SPEAKER_00 50:07

I like that action.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

I'm pulling up, and I literally pulled up and on the stairs, and then they low-key try to jump me. Y'all got that ass handed to y'all. But, anyways, like, be so for real. What? Be so for real. Yeah, in college. So nonetheless, we're no longer friends. I mean, she still watches my Instagram stories, and she's still following you on IG, yeah. And then her and my freaking cousin ended up becoming roommates in Atlanta, and then they got into it because of her.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

You pressed. I'ma tell you right now. You pressed. You still follow on on socials? Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. We're gonna talk about it though. We're gonna let you live.

SPEAKER_01 50:52

We're gonna let you live, girl. We're gonna let you live. But just remember that Chipotle bow.

SPEAKER_00 50:56

Um, I got two situations. One was my best friend, like bestie, bestie. The one that you lost when you moved here? Yeah, ride or die. Yeah, ride or die. Or I thought she was. Yeah, she was she was a fake, nasty, like fake, nasty, talking behind my back. It was we were all working at Twin Peaks. You know how messy that can get. Oh. So, yeah. It was, it started with like, I don't know, the managers liked me. I came down here, I had tunnel vision, I was working, I was picking up shifts, they liked my work ethic, they liked my attitude. I came to work, I had the best attitude, I had smile on my face, I was working, and I gained like really good, stable relationships with the managers, and they loved putting me on the shift. They loved that I was always the highest rank, and I got pushed to be a bartender, and that started some drama because she was working there before I was, and so she wanted to run her mouth and oh, I should be behind the bar, and da da da. And I'm like, girl, I I bust my ass to be here, you know, and I didn't even I didn't even ask him, they asked me, so you know it's not a problem. It started there, and then we're both bartenders, stuff gets gets talked back and forth. I started dating Sean, and then I'm on the expo line, and some of the girls is slow. It's like a Monday night or something. It's slow. They're like, So, like, Tony, like you know, what's going on? Like, you know, we just wanna like da-da. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, well, you know, so and so is saying this and saying that, like back in Little Rock, like you she had to like shelter you and she had to like give you money, and she had to now we're throwing low balls. I was like, wait, wait a minute, what? And like like pulling out like real, like vulnerable information, real, real truth information, because the whole sheltering me, giving me money stuff was like, I don't know, it's just a lot being said, and they gave me like word for word, verbatim, what she said about me. But like when she would get in my face, it would be a different story. She's bestie, she's oh, let's hang out, let's go here, let's have drinks, let's take shots, da da da. And I'm like, two-faced bitch. I'm like, wait a minute, huh? So I don't know how like it just ended. I think we got into an argument or something. Um, this is where it like it took a turn for me. I got in my accident. I'm I remember. Um, I told you about my accident. Got in my accident, and that night was the tornado. The tornado, I don't know if anybody in Dallas remembers the tornado in in 2019, where it just it was really bad. We were at work, they had to like shut down early, everybody got, you know, everybody had to go home. And I that's when I got in my car accident that night because it was like crazy. It was crazy. And I didn't make any money because we had to leave early. She loaned me $300, not even $300 because the tow truck to tow my car because it was totaled because the airbags deployed. She loaned me the $200 that I needed for the tow truck, but she gave me $300. Well, I don't know, but she loaned me $200 the $200 that I needed to tow my tow my car. And the next day, she's asking for the money back. Not next day, it was like the same week. I hadn't even worked. I was off for like two days because I let my manager know that I was like, my body was sore. I just got an accident, like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I was like, I can't come to work. I hadn't worked for two days. And the first day I got back to work, she's asking for the money back. I was like, girl, you're supposed to be my friend. Like, like, yeah, that's not a real friend, bro. I was like, what is this beef that we got? So then after that was just tit for tat, like, I don't know. She started talking about like just just random shit. And I was just like, girl, I gotta let you go. Okay, so do you what's the quickest way for you to cut off someone? Like the quickest way for you to lose a friendship, like something that they do? Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

I'm gonna honestly have to say, like, drama. Like, I don't like when women are girls and women like have drama with a whole bunch of females. To me, that's like a huge red flag because why why is everybody else always like the problem? And when I say drama, like drama, like I understand like certain like little small things, but like genuine like drama, this bitch, like all I don't I don't do well with that. That's not my vibe. Um, and people like who have a lot of chaos in their life. I can't deal with that either. Women who have a lot of chaos in their life, and then also like women who man issues too can't deal with that. That goes along with the chaos. Um, I can't deal with women who talk about other women in the sense of like in a demeaning manner. Like, I understand venting, getting off. That's like one thing, but like actually like downing, especially like people that you call your friends and stuff. I because I can't trust you. Now it's like a loyalty thing, and I'm seeing how you're talking like you're probably doing the same thing about me behind my back. I can't trust you, yeah. And I just have to move a certain way with you, yeah. For sure. Um, yeah, so like yeah, and honestly, anyone who just doesn't take care of their their home, take care of their their their self too, and how big, yeah. And honestly, how they act around men. Like, I'm so observant when they I'm so picky when it comes to my female my female friends because like I will observe you and observe you, and I will like in certain situations, like how you act around men, like are you a pick me? I can't deal with that. Yeah, like I can't deal with my pick knees, yeah. The pick me's like I can't deal with that. I actually would prefer to go out and not get any male attention. I don't me to really care for male attention like that. It's not like a oh my god, yay! It's more of like a ugly please leave me alone. Leave me alone. I'm trying to enjoy myself. These girls knife for a reason, yes. So like I don't like when going out with like females and they like want that male attention or like they're trying to get that male attention because craving, yes, like that's giving desperate, and yeah, I guess a high value women, we don't we don't we don't care for that.

SPEAKER_00 57:02

That's yeah, that's not how they think um I'm gonna take everything you just said literally like like word for word, I pay attention to the T and I go based off of vibes. If I immediately don't and and it can be immediately like you open your mouth one time, I'm like, no, I'm not gonna like her.

SPEAKER_01 57:22

Yep, I'm literally the same way. Or how are you gonna open your mouth?

SPEAKER_00 57:25

I can sit there and just watch how you act, and I'm like I can literally tell, and I can give you months, even years of just being an acquaintance, just literally teetering the line, yes, and I can be like, Yeah, she's gonna fuck up soon. Like she's going to fuck it up for herself soon, and not just saying I'm you know, like Queen B or shit, but like, you know, you can't have the friend status, and some people do really, really hang around you like that because they want that friend status, and that's they do, they want to be super close to you. That is they're gonna do whatever it takes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:00

And I think that's another another thing for me is a a female who has or needs a lot of attention and a lot of a lot of friends. Yeah, I think that that, and I know some people like social media stuff will say, like, oh my gosh, that's like if you don't have any friends, or if you're a female, you don't have a lot of friends, or have friends, you're the problem. I think the complete opposite. I think a a girl who needs a lot of and needs to surround herself with a lot of females, yeah, is honestly the problem. Yeah. Because what like and I feel like they those are the females who have like the most drama and the most chaos and the most like they live in that drama field, and I can't like I can't do with that. Like so I am, I'm I'm just like you. I have super observed.

SPEAKER_00 58:41

I saw your your comment about the baddies thing.

SPEAKER_01 58:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:45

So annoying. Yes, the I the most hated show to me. I online never got in.

SPEAKER_01 58:52

I never got into baddies.

SPEAKER_00 58:53

Anybody who watches baddies, I can't be my friend. You can't be my friend, can't be my friend off rip though, because it's so chaotic, so much going on, so much fighting.

SPEAKER_01 59:02

So miserable. Like, there's a so miserable women, like I mean, and I know they're on a TV show, so like they're forced to do these things, and I feel like they're but I at the same time to even sign up for something like that, knowing what it is and knowing how degrading it is to other women. No, thank you. Like, y'all are literally getting mad because people are eating freaking potato chips on that shit. Like, be so for real, or because this person's personality is not like yours. That's so ugly, that's so nasty. Baddies, if you watch baddies, you're low vibration.

SPEAKER_00 59:31

Low vibrations. Do you think a friendship breakup is worse than a relationship breakup? For me, no. I think it is. Really? Yeah, yeah. I mourned.

SPEAKER_02 59:44

Really?

SPEAKER_00 59:44

I mourned, yeah, like cried real tears. Yeah, like, because now I can't ever have a another best friend. Yeah. Like ever. Like, I'm I'm so terrified. It's almost like I've never been this terrified to get in another relationship, but I've like this right now getting into another best friendship. I could never. I'm taking it to the grave. I'm I'm never ever ever having a best friend. Cause I feel like she she she did so much. She like truly stabbed me in the back. I trusted her with like everything, everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:21

Yeah, damn.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:22

And like she ruined it for anybody else. She ruined it for anybody else to come along.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:27

Damn.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:27

Anybody. Like, I have I have friends now that should be on best friend status that I will not ever let them cross that line.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:35

Damn.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:36

I'm so traumatized.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:37

We gotta heal.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:39

We gotta heal from that. We gotta heal. But I mean, I understand too though, because I mean I feel like I feel like that with the relationship things, because I went through such a traumatizing relationship and such a toxic relationship. I honestly like I'm I'd be so thankful that I'm married because I was like, I'm good, like I don't want a relationship, I don't want to deal with like I was it was my turn to like just flick you guys to the side, like pick you up and drop you off whenever I want you. So I feel the same way. Like I I honestly did not think I was going to get into another relationship because of how traumatizing my last one was. So you know, I be so that's why I be so infatuated with the fact that I married.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:23

Okay, 25%.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:25

Oh, that's where we're at.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:26

Yeah, almost done. This is a game called Stay, Talk or Walk.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:31

So this is just scenarios on if you scenario My bang is not bang and these bangings. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:44

This is just scenarios on if uh different scenarios, friend related, on if you would keep the friend, talk to the friend or okay, or walk away.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:53

Walk from from the friend.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:55

Yeah, okay. Would you stay, talk, or walk if none of your friends ever celebrated other wins? I'd walk.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:10

I'd walk. Yeah, I think that's a sign you truly don't like me.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:17

I would die.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:21

I'm so like in between on whether I would like stay or walk because I don't I'm so like, I don't know, maybe it's like hyper independence or something, but like I'm so like I I celebrate myself. Like in the sense of not saying like I I would want I would want my friends to say that I probably would feel some type of way, but I don't I don't know for sure if it would hit me. It depends on what it is. Like it would hit me that deep. Like if it I would be like, oh my god, you didn't like you know, I don't I don't know. I don't know. That's good. Cause I I I am very much so like I'm so isolated at times. Like I'm in my own little bubble that a lot of things I feel like my friends don't even know about what's going on, like that's happening.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:05

I mean like it's just like stuff that like maybe they have seen online or something. Like, like if I don't get a congratulations from you, I don't mean like a whole full-blown like we gotta go out for drinks and pop bottles and shit. Like, just say, Oh, I'm so proud of you. Congratulations. Silence, silence is like crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:25

Like, would you uh stay talk or walk if your man was in her DMs and she said nothing? I'd walk. Yeah, definitely walking.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:34

Girl, that's weird. Girl, I'm not gonna lie. Not that I would ever have that issue. Let me just say that. But don't ever not tell like not you.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:47

Like, girl, are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:50

The way that I would call you so quick, the way that is this who I think it is in my D. Like, uh girl, I'd call you so fast. What is this? What is this? Yep. Yeah, no, I'd walk. That's crazy. Like, you don't say nothing, I think I'd walk.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:09

Now I'm questioning you because you know, we gotta go. Actually, I wouldn't even walk, I would beat your ass. We gotta fight. I'm crashing out. Both of y'all. Are you okay? That's crazy. I need to knock some sense into y'all guys. No, seriously, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:28

Okay, in closing, we both had our fair share of good friendships, bad friendships.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:35

Yes, good experience is bad.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:37

Yeah, and um the ones who didn't make it. Sometimes that's just gonna happen, and sometimes, you know, life it just gets to a point where you just can't handle those or hold those friendships up anymore, and that's okay. You get older, and I feel like honestly, the older I get, no, the older I get, the less friends I need. The less friends I need, actually.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:02

The less stress, the less stress, yeah, just too old, just trying to enjoy life.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:06

Literally, so yeah. We had one question from our um thing em a jig, the story. Really quick, really quick, really quick.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:19

I'm excited. Also, like um my husband's aunt called me yesterday or called him yesterday, and said she's been watching every episode full through.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:33

She watches like when they come out, she's like watching this. That is amazing! I was so geeked, and she's like, I just wanted to call, give you kudos, and like y'all are really doing it. She like shares with me. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:46

No, literally, literally, everybody that like watched liter family, friends, like everybody that's watching and supporting. I promise you, like, y'all, we're seeing it. Yes, and we get so amped about it. So, like, continue to show love because.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:02

Like it makes me love doing this. It makes me like love, really love doing this to know that like everybody enjoys it, and we're actually getting really positive feedback. So I love that. I love that. I love that. I love you guys so much. That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:16

Okay, so the question was is there any scenarios or any QA's that we should address on the show? Someone said thoughts on living in Texas with the climate and climate of politics. The climate of politics. Yes. I kind of felt like where they were coming from because it is like a I hate to say it, but like a racial thing going on in Texas. And I think that's kind of what they were referring to. Like it's it's hardcore. Um right or left. And then I think it was the the situation with the high school the high school boy that just recently went to prison.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:57

Oh, uh Carmel Carmelo?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:59

Yeah, Carmelo. I think that's what it I think that was what it was about. I don't know, but like I'm gonna kind of like read between the lines and say that that's what it was about. Well I haven't experienced anything and I have yet to run into a Karen. So I'm just waiting on the day that I'm into a Karen.

unknown 1:07:16

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:17

I'm waiting on the day because I'm literally like I get so when the ones who are like addressed by Karen's, they handle it so effortlessly like effortless, effort effortlessly fix me. Effortlessly, and they shut it down, and it's just like you can't touch me. Like, I'm I'm literally like I love it. Yeah I love it. I literally love it. Um, but I haven't I haven't had any experiences, so I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:50

I haven't had any experiences in Texas. A little background story that I guess we will dig into later. In Arkansas, you know, I was a part of the whole protesting that whole time. You I'm gonna add a picture.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:00

Oh my god, right here. So she was parkour in a protest. My girl was out there in the streets, okay? She was in them streets, yes, protesting like with the earrings. I love the side pro it was just it was girl.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:17

That's a whole story that we can definitely dig into. Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:20

But so thank you for the question because that's that's just another that's an energy for another episode.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:25

Yeah, that's definitely a lineup for another episode. I love that. Thank you. But here, no, actually, I think I experienced more in Arkansas than here. Yeah, for sure. Uh Texas, I mean, I know it's there, I know it's out there, but I think the difference is with Texas is that everybody's probably strapped. So a little people are a little bit more hesitant to just pop up off because probably not gonna interact. And I think that's like a oh yeah, it's a it's a give and take, honestly, yeah, with gun laws and everything. But knowing that the next person is probably strapped and may not be wrapped all the way right will make you think twice before. Don't make me pop my chunk. Stupid, honestly. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, no, definitely um more in Arkansas than here in Texas.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

Yeah, so I don't think either of us have had an experience thus far since the the trial or the um Yeah, no, the sentencing. Not at all. Yeah, I mean I I get I hate that though. I hate that. I hate that that even exists, and I think that's that was mind-blowing. Yeah, that whole situation honestly was like heartbreaking too, like heartbreaking.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:32

Similar situations with different races, and it ruled in the opposite way, so and there's so much, like there's so much that goes into it and like behind the scenes because I mean, I know for me, like empathy is there. Empathy is there no matter what race, and I say that in the sense of like nobody deserves to die. Like I just hardcore like just don't think anybody deserves to die. Absolutely. Um in that sense, but they're I mean I can't say nobody deserved to die. I think pedophiles definitely rapist pedophiles, people like that. Y'all need to yeah, y'all deserve to die. I agree, but um also like just in that sense, like they're so young, and I just don't think that you know he deserved to die, but at the same time, I don't think that he deserved what he got. Yeah, like I just I don't, I mean I don't know. It's such a it's such a touch, touching subject too. It's very sensitive. People have their opinions, and I feel like a lot of stuff is based off of politics, based off of race, of how they feel strongly about that situation, and I'm like so open-minded and so like biased on that, and so like in the middle, like so I don't know, it it is it's really hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:39

Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you for that question though.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:41

And please more like I like that opens like excited, yes, it opens like it really does open us up to other things that we probably don't think about because or that we might be scared to talk about on here, to be honest, because like politics, religions that's like a really touchy subject for us for that's everybody. Good way to get canceled, yes, a real good way, but we just started so we don't want to get canceled, yeah. But it definitely opens us up to those questions because we'll answer them for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:15

I love that. Yes, well, cheers to episode five. Thank you guys for tuning in, and we'll see you guys next time.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:22

See you next time, bye.