Who Are You Without the Title? 🤔

We spend years building something—

a business, a reputation, a name.

But if you stripped away the title… who would you be?

In this episode of Robert the Realist, I dig into identity—how easy it is to tie our worth to performance, productivity, and success. As entrepreneurs, we can slowly become what we do instead of knowing who we are.

What happens when business slows down?

When success doesn’t satisfy?

When the applause fades?

This isn’t about stepping away from ambition. It’s about understanding that your identity has to be bigger than your title.

Because if who you are depends on what you build, you’ll never feel settled.

Real life. Real business. No pressure.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Oh my people. Robert the realist back with who are you without the title? You know, we like to wrap ourselves up in quote unquote business owner, provider, leader, successful, my favorite, busy. But what happens when a deal falls through? Business slows down, you step back, you fail. Some of you maybe retire. Who are you then? That's depth. So if you strip away the business, the title the wins, the reputation, who are you? In this episode, I dig into something most entrepreneurs avoid identity. It's easy to tie your words to performance, to productivity, to how much you're building, earning, or even achieving. But at some point you have to ask yourself, if all that disappeared tomorrow, would I still know who I am? This isn't about motivation, it's about reflection, because peace doesn't come from what you build, it comes from who you are when no one is watching. Real life, real business, no pressure. So as entrepreneurs, it is easy to let business define us. The pressure is always to be on the silent fear that sneaks up on us to slow down. Faith, identity. My case, being a husband before being a business owner, would actually last. Let's talk about those real quick. You know, I've been in business now going on 19 years, and most businesses, especially the most recent business I've started, I see people build their identity around their business. What do I mean by that? I mean that they're not the same person outside of their business as they are in real life. And I know that may hurt some feelings, but it's true. When you see me at church, or let's say Walmart, but you're not going to see me there, or out and about, or just talking to people in general, that's me. When you see me inside of any of my businesses, the exact same. And that's what this is about is that identity. When it's all gone, you don't have that business to prop you up. Who are you? To me, that takes away that pressure of always being quote unquote on. When I'm not on, I'm sitting on my couch or laying on my couch watching a movie with my wife. That's me not being on. When I'm outside of here, I talk to the neighbor the same way I talk to the newest person wanting me to, you know, be part of my business, whether it's insurance or real estate. Somebody new I meet at church, it's the same. None of it's fake. I don't fake it. Now, 19 years ago when I started in the business, I remember saying fake it till you make it, because let's let's all agree that in business we had to do that at some point or another. You know, talking about the silent fear of slowing down, I don't really think it's a fear of slowing down. The fear is I don't want to slow down necessarily, but I think we all need to at some point to start living life and let the businesses run. Same thing with faith. I go to church every Sunday. This is not preaching, it's just what I do. I go to church every Sunday. I do a bi-weekly Bible study. I lead a small group, I'm part of a small group. People in my circle are all faith. They all believe in the same Jesus, same God. I act the same with them as I act with anybody else. Nothing's changed. A tough one. That can get in the way, but I work really hard at being a husband and a and a good father for a business owner. But I know there's a good equal separation in those two. It's a good balance. And you learn that after you get in a business for a little while. And what actually lasts? Being you last forever. You know, my most recent business adventure that I'm currently in, that I'm thriving in. I've watched other entrepreneurs in that space. You know, to be honest, be something that they're not, or be something they haven't been. And now that I'm here and I'm doing things differently and changing the way the things are done, I see them changing the way that they're they're doing things. And it's real or fake, or it's not, or maybe it is. The one thing you gotta know about me is that my job on this planet is to help people thrive, whether you're in my circle, whether you're in my business, whether you're outside of my business. If I'm pushing other people in my business to get better, that's good. If I am firing people because I think they need to go and be something somewhere else, that's okay. If people quit my business or businesses to go somewhere else and to be something else, that's great. If we mutually agree that you parting us parting ways to go be something else, that's great. You gotta understand that everybody that wants to do what I do or maybe sees the successes of the things that I do, or they're not going to do them. They're going to fail. But when they fail, will their identity still be there? That's the question. Let's go a little deeper. What success didn't fix? Success didn't fix me. It didn't fix my faith. Money helped. Money makes life a little bit easier. But if you've watched me over the years, all I do with money is just invest it and be bigger and make more. So you gotta be prepared for that. When I look at my circle and I look at my friends, I can name on one hand the people that I would turn to to ask questions about business. Because if you haven't done it, you're not doing it, you're not gonna help me. So there's not a lot of people out there like that. And then God humbles you, which is always fun. He will, but you remember when you're in those valleys, how you got to those peaks. And probably my favorite thing about the way I do business, I think some of you could take a little bit of advice on this one personally. I don't chase applause. I don't chase awards. You know, in my most recent business adventure, let's just say real estate, you can buy votes for awards. So far, the awards that I've seen outside of your quote unquote business that you get in this business are you asking people for votes. To me, that seems backwards. I'm just honest with you. I'm just being a realist here. If I have to ask you or beg you or put on social media to vote for me, I don't need that award. If I have to be on a board, or if I have to be on a committee, if I have to do something like that to be to get an award, I'm not interested. That is Robert, the realist. Okay. My identity will be here. If I quit both of my businesses tomorrow, I'll still be the same person. Work on that. Look at that. Think about yourself. Is that you? Are you being real? When you lay your head down tonight, are you the same person? Are you exhausted from being somebody you're not? Just thoughts to think about. I appreciate you guys tuning in today. Robert the Realist.