Fear Bigger, God Smaller | #004 | Not A Perfect Christian

God opened a door.

Fear walked in right behind it.

This week we're talking about opportunities, control, marathon training, the Book of Numbers, and why God might be asking us to trust Him more than our fears.

Still figuring it out. 🎙️🙏📖

Transcript

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Hello everyone and welcome back to Not a Perfect Christian. I hope you're all doing well. This week was so interesting. I went to two church services. I spent most of my week running because my marathon is next month. I played some tennis. I had a consultation with UCI, University of California Irvine, about a master's in engineering. And somehow all of those things ended up connecting to the same lesson. Fear. Not the scary movie kind of fear. The kind that quietly shows up when God puts an opportunity in front of you. The kind that starts asking question, what if I fail? What if I make the wrong decision? What if I'm not ready? This week, Pastor Eric preached a message that really challenged me. And honestly, I think God used it to expose something in my heart that I didn't want to admit. So today I want to talk about fear, idols, opportunities, and why God might be asking us to trust him more than our fear. Let's get into it. This week I had a consultation with UCI about a master's in engineering. They told me I qualified for the program and should submit my application soon. Now, here's the funny part. My marathon is next month. I'm working, I'm running almost every day. I'm starting a podcast, and somehow I'm considering adding a master's degree to my life. Apparently, I look at my schedule and thought, you know what this needs? More homework. Or maybe less sleep for sure. I'm not sure yet, but honestly, I was excited. Then fear showed up. Can I do it? Can I handle it? Is this the right decision? One moment I was celebrating. The next moment I was overthinking everything. Funny how fast fear works. Now, don't get me wrong. Part of me wants to get a master's degree because I genuinely enjoy learning. But another part of me wants people to call me master. Oh my god, I'm sorry. Not my name, just master. Like some wise old Kong Fu teacher in a movie. Good morning, Master. Thank you, Master. Can you pass the salt, Master? I've already imagined it. I might have a problem. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay. But after all the jokes, I realized something. Maybe my fear wasn't really about the master's program. Maybe it was about control. And that's exactly why Pastor Eric's sermon hit me so hard. This week he preached from the book of numbers. Now, as a civil engineer, I should probably look a book called Numbers. I thought, finally, a book for engineers. Maybe Moses was about to teach us algebra. Turns out it wasn't really about numbers, it was about people. And honestly, people are way complicated than math. Oh, sorry. Pastor Eric's main verse was Proverbs 2925. The fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. Then he said something simple but powerful. Fear bigger, bigger, God smaller to smaller. Not because God changed, because our focus changed. In Numbers 13 1 to 2, God tells Moses to send spies in the land he promised to his people. Notice something important. God already promised the land before they ever saw it. The opportunity was already there. The question wasn't whether God was faithful, the question was whether the people would trust him. Later in Numbers 13, 29 to 28, the spies returned and reported that the land was exactly God described. It was good, it was fruitful, it was everything God said it would be, but they also saw challenges. And sometimes that exactly how opportunities look. We see the blessing, but we also see the obstacles. Then Pastor Eric started talking about idols. When I heard the word idols, I expected golden statues. You know, the obvious stuff. Instead, he started talking about comfort, approval, power and control. And honestly, I didn't like where the sermon was going because it started feeling personal. Comfort, approval, power, control. Pastor Eric explained that our fear often reveal what we're truly worshiping. If I fear discomfort, maybe comfort has become an idol. If I fear rejection, maybe approval has become an idol. If I fear failure, maybe power or success has become an idol. If I fear uncertainty, maybe control has become an idol. And the one that hit me the hardest was control. I like plans. I like knowing what's next. I like certainty. I like knowing how things will turn out. But life doesn't work like that. Faith definitely doesn't work like that. One thing Pastor Eric talked about that really made me think was the story of Israelites wanting to go back to Egypt. Think about that for a second. Israelites wanting to go back to Egypt. Oh God. God rescued them from slavery. He parted the Red Sea. And then at one point they basically said, you know what? Maybe Egypt wasn't that bad. I was sitting there thinking, What? You were a slave, you got rescued, and now you want to go back? As a Filipino, I can already imagine my parents looking at me and saying, After everything that happened, you want to go back? But then I realized something uncomfortable. I do the same thing. Maybe not Egypt, but old habits, old fears, old ways of thinking. Sometimes God is trying to move us forward and we're trying to go backwards because backwards feels familiar. That's the scary thing about fear. Fear doesn't always make us run away. Sometimes go bad. Then in Numbers 14 1 to 4, the people become afraid and started talking about returning to Egypt. That's the part that amazed me. God had already rescued them. God had already provided for them. God had already proven Himself faithful. Yet fear made them forget. And honestly, I think we all do that sometimes. We pray for an opportunity. God give it to us. Then we get scared when it finally arrives. Sometimes we spend more times worrying about the obstacle than remembering the God who brought us there. The interesting thing is that not everyone responded with fear. There are two men named Joshua and Caleb. They saw the same land, the same problems, the same obstacles, the same situation, but they had a different perspective. Everyone else saw reason why they couldn't. Joshua and Caleb saw reason why God could. That's a powerful reminder. Faith doesn't ignore reality. Faith simply believed God is bigger than reality. The circumstances were the same. The difference was where they placed their focus. The more I thought about it, the more I realized this isn't the first opportunity God has put in front of me. People sometimes ask me why I decided to pursue nursing. The answer is simple. I saw an opportunity. I believe God places opportunities in front of us for a reason. Not every opportunity is from God, but every opportunity deserves a prayer. When nursing appeared, I paid attention. Now a master's degree has appeared, and I'm paying attention again. The funny thing is that every opportunity comes with fear. Moving to California came with fear. Changing career came with fear. Starting this podcast came with fear. Running a marathon comes with fear. The master's degree comes with fear. Maybe the goal isn't to eliminate fear. Maybe the goal is to trust God more than I trust my fear. That thought stayed me all week. Especially while I was running. I've been running almost every day lately because my marathon is next month. And let me tell you something. Running is a lot more fun when you're done. People ask me, do you enjoy running? The answer is yes. After I stop. But while I was running this week, I realized something. You don't run 26.2 miles all at once. You take the next step, then another, then another. You don't focus on the finish line the whole time. You focus on the next step. Faith is a lot like that. God usually doesn't show us mile 26. He shows us the next step. Then I attended the second service and it felt like God wasn't finished teaching me yet. Pastor Jason's message was called Don't Lose the Gospel. And it connected perfectly with everything Pastor Eric had been talking about. Because if fear reveals our idols, the gospel reminds us where our focus should be. Pastor Jason shared four powerful truths. The Gospel magnifies the glory of God. The Gospel confronts the reality of our condition without Christ. The Gospel declares who we are in Christ. And the Gospel transforms us through Christ. In other words, the Gospel reminds us who God is. The Gospel reminds us who we are without Him. The Gospel reminds us who we are because of Him, and the Gospel shape who we are becoming. That's why the Gospel is so important because fear constantly tells us to focus on ourselves. The Gospel tells us to focus on Jesus. Fear says, What if I fail? The Gospel says God is still faithful. Fear says, What if I don't have enough? The Gospel says God will provide. Fear says, What if I can't do it? The Gospel says you don't have to do it alone. One of my favorite verses is 2 Timothy 1 7. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind. And Isaiah 41 10 say, Fear not, for I am with you. Not fear not because life is easy. Not fear not because everything will go according to plan. Fear not because God is with you. And that's enough. Maybe that's the lesson God was teaching me this week. The master's degree isn't the real issue. The marathon isn't the real issue. The future isn't the real issue. The question is, will I trust God with the next step? Because faith isn't having the entire math. Faith is taking the next step when God says move. And honestly, that's how most of my life has happened. Moving from the Philippines, starting over in California, pursuing nursing, starting this podcast, every major step started with uncertainty. But God has been faithful every single time. Not because I've been perfect, not because I've had all the answers, but because God has been faithful. And if he's been faithful before, I have every reason to trust him again. Maybe you're facing a decision right now. Maybe God has placed an opportunity in front of you. Maybe you're waiting for certainty before you move. I understand. I've been there. Actually, I'm there right now. But maybe God isn't asking us to have all the answers. Maybe he's asking us to trust him with the next step. Fear gets louder when we focus on ourselves, but God gets bigger when we focus on him. And that's what I'm trying to learn. One step at a time. Woo! Alright. Oh my god. Before we end this episode, let's pray. Heavenly Father, thank you for speaking to us through your words. Thank you for reminding us that fear does not have to control our lives. Help us identify the idols that compete for our hearts. Teach us to trust you more than our fears. Give us courage to take the next step, even when we don't know exactly where the path leads. Thank you for every opportunity you place before us. Help us seek your will in every decision and remind us that no matter what happens, you are always with us. We love you, we trust you, and we give you all the glory in Jesus' name. Amen. Remember, we're not trying to become a perfect Christian. We're simply taking one step closer to God every day. Thank you for listening. God bless you all, and I'll see you next Monday.