Love Build This House | Father's Day Special | Not A Perfect Christian

My parents weren't perfect, but they loved us the best they knew how.

This week, I share the story of how two poor church choir members built a family, raised two college graduates, and taught me lessons I'm only now beginning to understand.

Through the struggles, sacrifices, and imperfections, God never stopped working.

🎙️ Still learning. Still growing. Still figuring it out. 🙏

Transcript

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Hello everyone and welcome back to Not a Perfect Christian. I hope you're all doing well. Since Father's Day is coming up, I've been thinking a lot about my parents. And honestly, the older I get, the more I realize something. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. There is no such thing as a perfect family. And if there is, they must be very lucky. Because every family I know has struggles. Every marriage has challenges. Every parent makes mistakes. My family was no different. But when I look back now, I don't see perfection. I see love, I see sacrifice, I see a lot of mistakes, and somehow I still see God working through all of it. So today I want to tell you about my parents. Let's get into it. My parents met at church. They were both part of the choir. So technically, my love story started with worship music. My dad came from a poor family. My mom came from a poor family too. And to make things even more interesting, my grandmother on my mom's side absolutely did not like my dad. In fact, she disliked him so much that he would throw a bucket of pee at him whenever he came to visit. Yeah, a bucket of pee. Most people bring flowers when they're dating. My dad needed an umbrella to protect himself. Honestly, if somebody threw a bucket of pea at me, I would probably think God was telling me no. My dad looked at the situation and said, challenge accepted. And somehow he kept showing up. That's how much he loved my mom. My dad finished college and became a teacher. But he never really practiced teaching. Instead, he worked at the municipal office. If you're from the Philippines, you know getting a government job is a big deal. Once you're in, people think you're set for life. My mom also worked at the municipal office. She graduated with a degree in commerce. They got married with almost nothing. No wealth, no fancy house, no perfect plan, just faith, hard work and hope. Eventually they bought a piece of land. There wasn't a house yet, just land. Then little by little they started building one wall, one room, one roof, one paycheck at a time. And honestly, we're still renovating that house today. That house has been under construction longer than the some TV shows. But looking back now, I think that house is a perfect picture of our family. Not finished, not perfect, but still standing. When I was born, my mom made a huge sacrifice. She stopped working so she could focus on raising me. Later, my sister came along. Looking back now, I realized how big that sacrifice really was. As a kid, I didn't understand it. As an adult, I too. My mom gave up a lot so she could raise us. Meanwhile, my dad carried the responsibility of providing for the family. And it wasn't easy. There were seasons when he got suspended from work. There were seasons when money was tight. There were moments when I honestly don't know how we made it. But somehow my dad always found a way. He started a business. He worked extra jobs. He found opportunities. He kept food on the table. He kept a roof over our heads. And somehow he helped pay for my education. Because of those sacrifices, I became a civil engineer. My sister graduated cum laude and became a teacher. A few years ago, I told my parents something. I said, It's my turn now. They sacrificed for us. Now it's my turn to give back. That's one reason I helped support my sister while she was in college. Because family takes care of family. That's what I learned growing up. Now, before you start thinking this sounds like a Hallmark movie, let's be honest. My family wasn't perfect. Not even close. My parents argued a lot. Growing up, I thought arguing was just part of marriage. If they went three days without arguing, I would think, wow, revival is happening. My dad drunk, he smoked, sometimes he came home late, sometimes very late. There were things I saw as a child that children shouldn't have to see. There were times when my dad hurt my mom. I remember trying to protect her. I remember telling my mom we should leave and never come back. But she always told me she loved him. As a child, I couldn't understand that. Honestly, there are still part of the story I don't fully understand. My dad was stubborn. He had a huge ego. If stubbornness was an Olympic sport, my dad would brought home the gold medal. And yet, he loved us. That's what confused me for years. How can someone make so many mistakes and still love his family? The older I get, the more I realize something. People are complicated. We all carry strength and weaknesses, good qualities and bad habits. Moments we're proud of and moments we regret. In Roman three twenty three says, For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. All means all. My dad, my mom, me, you, everyone. But here's the part that amazed me. Despite everything my sister and I experienced growing up, we didn't become what our pain could have made us become. We respect other people, we love our family. We value education. We put God first. We don't spend our weekends getting drunk at clubs and making bad decisions. Honestly, looking back, I'm a little confused. With all the drama in our house, me and my sister should probably be much worse than we are. Yet, somehow she graduated cum lade. I became an engineer. We still love our family. We still love God. The math doesn't make sense. And that's when I realized something. Trauma wasn't the only thing shaping us. Love shaped us too. Sacrifice shape us too. Faith shaped us too. My parents weren't perfect, but they taught us respect. They taught us responsibilities. They taught us hard work. And most important, they introduce us to God. In Proverbs 22, six says, Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. My parents weren't perfect teachers, but they planted seeds, and God keep watering them. That's why Roman 8 28 means so much to me. And we know that in all things God works for good of those who love him. Notice it doesn't say some things, it says all things. The good memories, the painful memories, the victories, the struggles, the mistakes, the lessons. God can use all of it. And honestly, when I read that verse this week, I feel like God was showing me something. For years, I focused on the painful part of my childhood. The arguments, drinking, the fear, the moment that hurts. But as I was reflecting on Father's Day, I felt like God was helping me to see the bigger picture. He reminded me that those painful moments weren't the whole story. There was sacrifice too. There was provision. There was love. There was a father who kept finding ways to feed his family. There was a mother who gave up her career to raise her children. There was a family that somehow stayed together through difficult season. And there was a God who never stopped working behind the scenes. I don't think I understand that when I was younger, but the older I get, the deeper my relationship with God becomes. And more I can see his fingerprints all over my story. Not because everything was good, but because God was good through all of it. In Genesis 50, 20 says, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good. I love that verse because it reminds me that God can bring good out of broken situation. I'm not saying everything that happened was good. Some things were painful, some things were wrong, but I believe God can redeem what is broken. And I believe God can rewrite a better ending than we can imagine. If I could talk to my younger self, the little boy who wanted to leave and never come back, I think I would tell him this. Hold on, God isn't finished writing your story yet. Because he wasn't, and he still isn't. Ephesians 6 2 says, honor your father and mother. It doesn't say honor perfect parents, because perfect parents don't exist. It simply tells us to honor them. Today I honor my father. Not because he was perfect, but because he kept fighting for our family. Papa, if you're listening, thank you. Thank you for the sacrifices. Thank you for finding a way when there seems to be no way. Thank you for introducing me to sport. By the way, he introduced me to basketball first. I hated it. Then he introduced me to tennis. And now I'm still spending money on tennis racket years later. So technically, that's his fault. And for my mama, thank you for loving us. Thank you for raising us. Thank you for your sacrifice that nobody saw. Thank you for always putting family first. I wouldn't be who I am today without both of you. And most of all, I thank God. Because through all that imperfection, He never stopped working. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, thank you for our families. Thank you for the sacrifice made by our parents. Thank you for the lesson they taught us through both their success and their failures. Help us honor those who raised us. Help us extend grace when grace is needed. Help us heal from wounds that still hurt. And remind us that you are the perfect Father when earthly father falls short. Thank you for your faithfulness throughout every chapter of our lives. We love you, we trust you, and we give you all the glory in Jesus' name. Amen. Remember, we're not trying to become a perfect Christian. We're simply taking one step closer to God every day. Thank you for listening. God bless y'all and happy Father's Day.