Guard Your Heart | #008 | Not A Perfect Christian

A trip to Disneyland. Honest conversations. A road trip podcast. One question that changed my entire week.

I thought God was teaching me about dating. Instead, He showed me He was teaching me about surrender.

Join me as I share what I learned about guarding my heart, keeping Jesus first, and why the greatest relationship we'll ever have is the one that shapes every other relationship.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." — Proverbs 4:23

Because when Jesus has your whole heart, everything else finds its proper place.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everyone, welcome back to Not a Perfect Christian. I hope you're all doing well. If you're new here, I'm not a pastor, I'm not a Bible scholar, and I'm definitely not a perfect Christian. I'm just a regular guy trying to follow Jesus one week at a time. Every week I ask God one simple question. Lord, what are you trying to teach me this week? So this week I thought I was just going to Disneyland. Turns out God had other plans. A good friend of mine came to Orange County from Arizona. She's a teacher. She was here for a few days on vacation. So naturally, we went to Disneyland. And for the first time, she met the girl I've been talking to. Funny enough, my friend was actually more excited than I was. I was like, relax. We're not getting married today. But honestly, I like seeing them get along. One thing I've always believed is this if the people I trust don't like the person I'm dating, that's probably something I should pay attention to. Thankfully, they got along really well. So Disneyland was off to a good start. Well, sort of. We had plans to explore the whole part. Reality had other plans. We basically made it to it's a small world. And somehow, every minute, someone was asking, where's the nearest breast room? I can't even make fun of her because I'm exactly the same. I have the bladder of a five-year-old. So every time she asked, I was thinking, honestly, me too. Maybe that's why we got along so well. Some couples have the same love language. Apparently, ours is knowing where every bathroom is in Disneyland. At one point, I started wondering, are we exploring Disneyland or reviewing every restroom in Orange County? So by the end of the day, I think we knew the restroom location better than the rides. But somewhere between walking, laughing, and trying to find another restroom, our conversation changed. It went from Disney to faith. And honestly, only Christian can do that. One minute you're talking about that room, the next minute you're talking about God. My friend shared something really interesting. She asked the girl, How did you come to know Jesus? Her answer surprised me. She talked about dreams, how God had spoken to her through dreams. I remember sitting there thinking, Wow, because that's not my story at all. Then they look at me. What about you? I just smiled because my testimony isn't dramatic. Nobody chased me. Nobody knocked me off a horse like Paul. I didn't have some incredible su supernatural moment. Mine was actually pretty simple. I was lonely. Growing up in the Philippines, I was always surrounded by family, friends, church, people. Then I moved to California. Everything changed. Suddenly I was by myself. And honestly, I didn't know how much I needed community until I didn't have it anymore. That's when I found church. Not because I was looking for a religion, but because I was looking for a family. And somehow God gave me both. Looking back now, I don't think I found church. I think God found me. And I had no idea that conversation at Disneyland was preparing my heart for what I was about to hear the next day. The next day, my friend and I decided to visit a museum. We spent the afternoon walking around, looking at different exhibits, talking about life, talking about faith, and honestly, just getting to know each other a little more. Looking back, I think God was already preparing my heart. I just didn't know it yet. When we got in the car to drive home, my friend asked, Have you ever listened to John Beaver? I smiled and said, Honestly no. She said, You should listen to this message. So I grabbed my phone, opened my Sfatify, searched for John Beaver, connected my phone to the car and pressed play. Now, if you know me, you know I always have music playing when I drive. So replacing my usual playlist with a sermon wasn't exactly what I expected that afternoon. I honestly will probably listen to this for a few minutes. A few minutes turned into almost the entire drive. I couldn't stop listening. The title immediately caught my attention. The most dangerous relationship a Christian can have. I remember thinking that's a pretty bold title. Then, through John Beaver message, I felt like God asked me a question. Not John, God who has your heart. At first, I thought the message was going to be about dating, marriage, relationships, but the longer I listened, the more I realized it wasn't just about who I loved. It was about what I loved most. Then James chapter 4 came up. It talks about how our desires can slowly pull our hearts away from God. That verse made me uncomfortable. Not because I thought I was doing something terrible, but because it made me ask myself, what has been occupying my heart lately? School, work, tennis, running, the podcast, my future, relationships. Here's the thing, none of those are bad. In fact, most of them are blessing from God. But even good things can slowly become the center of our lives if we're not careful. That's when one sentence came into my mind. Before God asked for our hands, he asked for our hearts. That sentence stayed with me because sometimes I get so busy doing things for God that I forgot to simply be with God. Then John Beaver started talking about covenant, not just marriage, but in our relationship with Jesus. A covenant isn't based on convenience, it's based on commitment. That word commitment really changed me because commitment isn't tested when life is easy. It's tested when something else starts competing for our hearts. Then he read from Revelation about keeping our garments white, remaining faithful, remaining close to Jesus. I remember driving, holding the steering wheel, thinking, Lord, I don't want my relationship with you to become a routine. I don't want you to become another part of my schedule. I want you to remain the center of my life. Then another thought came into my heart. Maybe the biggest danger isn't waking up one day and deciding to walk away from Jesus. Maybe it happens much more quietly than that. One distraction at a time, one compromise at a time, one misplaced priority at a time, until one day Jesus isn't first anymore. That thought honestly shook me because I realized this message wasn't really about dating. It wasn't really about marriage. It was about my heart. And almost immediately I remembered a conversation I had just the day before. A conversation with the girl I'm getting to know. A conversation that suddenly made a lot more sense. As soon as John Beaver's message ended, my mind went back to conversation I had just the day before. A conversation with the girl I'm getting to know. To be honest, I really like her. There are so many things I admire about her. She loves Jesus, she's kind, she's humble, she's thoughtful, and honestly, she checks almost everything I've been praying for. But there was one conversation that stayed with me. We started talking about dating, and I told her something that's important to me. I said, if you ever decided to go on a date with someone else, just let me know. I'll quietly step away. Not because I was angry, not because I wanted to control her. Not because I thought she was doing something wrong. I simply didn't want to build something meaningful while someone else was still deciding whether they wanted to build it with me. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, I don't know, but that's how God was wired in my heart. I even gave her an example. I said, Imagine I'm talking to five different girls. Okay, okay. First of all, let's be realistic, that would already be a miracle. I don't even have enough social battery for that. But yeah, but imagine you're number three, then I choose number one. Wouldn't that hurt? Or imagine, you're number one, but there are still four other people hoping I'll choose them. How would they feel? For me, dating has never been about collecting options, it's about intentionally getting to know one person. She listened, smiled, and said, but we're not exclusive. And she was right. We weren't. I understand what she meant. I also realized dating culture here is different from what I grew up with. So I didn't argue, I didn't try to convince her, I simply said, if you ever decide to date someone else, just let me know. I'll quietly walk away. Then we move on. At that time, I thought that was the end of the conversation. But after listening to John Beaver, God brought it back to my heart. Not because he wanted to tell me who was right or who was wrong. He asked me a different question. Why does this matter so much to you? I sat with a question for a while, and then I realized something. I wasn't afraid of losing a relationship. I was afraid of giving my heart away only to find out I was never the only one holding on. Those aren't the same thing. The more I prayed about it, the more I realized I wasn't trying to protect my pride. I was trying to protect my heart. There's a difference. Then another thought came into my mind. Maybe before I ask, who will have my heart? I should first ask, does Jesus already have all of it? Because if he doesn't, I'll eventually expect another person to give me an identity that only Christ can give, to fill an emptiness that only Jesus can fill, to carry expectation that no human being was ever created to carry. And that's not fair. Not to them, not to me. That's when I understand something beautiful. Jesus has never loved me halfway. He never kept his option open. He never said, I'll wait and see if someone better comes along. No. He gave everything completely, fully, sacrificially. That's the kind of love I've received. Maybe that's why I value commitment so much. Not because I think I'm perfect, not because I think everyone has to date the way I do, but because I've experienced a savior who never gave me a half of his heart. He gave me all of it. And maybe that's what he's asking from me too. Not a perfect heart, not a heart that never struggles, but a heart that belongs completely to him. Because a heart that's divided will never experience the peace of a heart that fully surrendered. I don't know what the future holds. I don't know where this relation is going. Maybe it grows, maybe it doesn't. But one thing became very clear to me this week. More than finding the right person, I want to become the kind of man whose heart belongs to Jesus first. Because when Christ is at center, every other relationship finds its proper place. Then I remembered Proverbs 4.23. For a long time I thought that verse was mostly about dating. This week I realized it's really about Jesus. Because when He has my whole heart, everything else begins to fall into its proper place. After everything that happened this week, Disneyland, the conversation, the drive home, John Beaver's message, the conversation with a girl I'm getting to know. I realize God wasn't trying to teach me about dating. He was teaching me about surrender. Because it's possible to say Jesus is first while quietly allowing something else to take his place. Not because we stop loving him, but because life gets busy, dreams get bigger, goals become more important, relationship becomes more exciting, and without realizing it, our hearts slowly drift. Not all at once, little by little. This week, God reminded me that he doesn't just want part of my heart. Not because he's trying to take something away from me, but because he knows nothing else can satisfy my heart that way he can. That doesn't mean I stopped dreaming, it doesn't mean I stopped pursuing a relationship, it doesn't mean I stopped working hard. God gave me those desires. But he also reminded me those things make terrible gods. Only Jesus can carry the weight of being first. Everything else eventually disappoint us. He never will. So this week I've been asking myself one question. Not who will have my heart, but Jesus, do you have it all? And honestly, I don't think that's a question we answer once. I think it's a question we answer every single day. Every decision, every relationship, every dream, every season of life, who has my heart today? Because whatever has my heart will eventually shape my life. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for loving me even when my heart gets distracted. Thank you for gently reminding me this week that you don't want to be part of my life. You want to be a center of it. Lord, forgive me for the times I've allowed other things, even good things, to become more important than you. Help me keep your first, not only with my words, but with my heart. Teach me to love people without making them my identity. Teach me to chase dreams without letting them replace you. Teach me to work hard while remembering that my word has never been found in my achievements. And if someone listening today feels like their hearts has slowly drifted, remind them that you're not waiting to condemn them. You're inviting them back. Thank you for never giving up on us. Thank you for loving us completely. We love you in Jesus' name. Amen. Before we end today's episode, I want to leave you with one question, not one that John Beaver asked, not one that I asked, one that I believe God asks all of us. Who has your heart? Because whatever has your heart will eventually shape your life. Thank you for spending this time with me. If this episode encourages you or challenges you, I hope you'll share it with someone who needs it. You never know how God might use one conversation, one drive home, or one podcast episode to bring someone a little closer to him. Remember, I'm not a perfect Christian. I'm just someone who's learning one week at a time. I'll see you next Monday. God bless.