More Than What Happen to Me | #012 | Part 2 | Not A Perfect Christian

Episode 12 — More Than What Happened to Me | Part 2 🎙️

Sometimes God uses the smallest moments to remind you that life is still moving forward.

A simple “God’s Plan” shirt started an unexpected conversation with a couple who shared their experiences doing missionary work around the world. Later that night, I joined a new pickleball group, met new people, laughed, and realized something:

My story didn’t end in San Francisco.

I’m not saying everything is completely healed. I’m still figuring things out. But I’m learning that moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting what happened—it means not allowing what happened to define what comes next.

God is still working. Life is still happening. And I’m still taking one step closer to Him. ❤️🙏

Not A Perfect Christian — Episode 12, Part 2

Transcript

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And before we s finish talking, he gave me something. This it's an emblem from the whole armor of God challenge. And around it it's uh put the whole armor of God. Pray always. He also gave me a little card, show this card, and he wrote on it take take the challenge, do again. And he puts the date 20 22 436-257. Now I'm not going to pretend I completely understood everything about it. In that moment, I was also running on very questionable amount of sleep. So let's remember that. But I appreciated it because it wasn't really about how much the object was worth, it was the meaning behind someone give it to me. Someone I had just met shared part of their story, shared something connected to their faith, and gave me something to remember that conversation. Before we left, we took a picture together. I don't have the picture because he uses his phone. Someone complimented my shirt. We talked, he gave me something, we took a picture, that's it. But when I put it in the context of everything else that happened that morning, it meant more to me. Because just a minute earlier, I was sitting inside a church hearing about being sent, and now I was standing outside of the message talking to people who actually made serving others a big part of their lives. It made me ask myself, what does being sent actually look like for me? And don't worry, I'm not announcing that next week I'm moving to another country. Episode 13. Guys, surprise. That's not what I'm saying. Because I think sometimes when Christians hear the word missionaries, we immediately imagine someone getting on an airplane, traveling a lot, traveling across the world and preaching somewhere far away. And yes, for some people that exactly what God calls them to do, and I have a lot of respect for people willing to do that. But what stood out to me from the message was something much simpler. Jesus said, I am sending you, and maybe being said doesn't always mean going far away. Maybe sometimes God is sending you exactly where you already are. Maybe I'm sent to my workplace, maybe I'm sent to my classroom, maybe I'm sent to church, maybe I'm sent to the people I play sports with, maybe I'm sent to the person who randomly starts talking to me. Maybe I'm being sent through this podcast. And that's something I've been thinking about a lot. Because when I started not a perfect Christian, I was I wasn't trying to be to become a preacher. I still don't want to pretend that I'm one. I wasn't trying to teach to teach everybody how to live. I was simply documenting my journey. Here's what happened this week. Here's what I learned. Here's where I struggle. Here's what I here's what I don't understand, and then hear what God is teaching me through it. But now, 12 episodes later, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe this podcast is one of the pieces God has sent me. Not because I know everything, but maybe because I don't. Maybe someone needs to see a Christian who is still figuring things out, someone who makes mistakes, someone who asks a question, someone who struggles, someone who can say I don't understand this either, but I'm still following Jesus. Maybe that's useful too. The first thing is with authority. Mark 3 talks about Jesus calling the twelve apostles so they could be with him and so he could send them out. Then Matthew 28, Jesus says, All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me, and then he tells his followers to go. When I first hear authority, I think of someone being in charge, someone powerful, someone important, but I don't think this is about Christian walking around acting like we're better than anybody. Actually, I think it should be it should do the opposite because the authorities doesn't come from us, it comes from Jesus. We're representing someone greater than ourselves, and if I say I represent Christ, then the way I treat people matters. The way I talk to people matters. How I handle disagreements matters. How I treat someone who can give me anything matters. How I behave when nobody from church is watching matters. And after San Francisco that challenged me because I had just gone through the situation where communication, patience, and understanding became difficult, and I saw things in myself that still need to grow, which is inconvenient. Because it's much easier when God shows me what everybody else needs to fix. I'm very good at that. And God's and God's like, great, let's start with you. That's usually the less exciting part. But maybe that's that part of following Jesus. Before asking, with what did they do wrong? Sometimes I need to ask, God, what are you trying to change in me? The second thing I wrote down with power. Act 1 8 says, You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witness. And then I hear the word power. My mind naturally thinks of something dramatic. Still waiting, no lighting, nothing. But maybe God, God's power isn't always dramatic. Sometimes power looks like forgiving someone. Sometimes it's having enough self-control to stay quiet when you really want to say something. Sometimes it's apologizing. Sometimes it's admitting I was wrong. Sometimes it's walking away from something unhealthy. Sometimes it's having the strength to start over. And sometimes maybe God's power looks like getting through a season you thought would break you. And that's made me think about the last few weeks. Because I haven't felt particularly strong. I felt disappointed, confused, sad, tired. But maybe feeling weak doesn't mean God can't accuse me. Maybe he can still send me while I'm still healing. And then the third thing was probably my favorite. To bring good news. Not to win arguments. Not to prove that we're better. Not to make people feel judged. Good news. Hope, grace, love, Jesus. And maybe that's something I want this podcast to become better at. Yes, I'll talk about pain. I'll talk about heartbreaks. I'll talk about disappointment. I'll talk about mistakes. Because that's real life. But I don't want the story to end there. I want there to still be whole because that's what I'm learning about following Jesus. The situation might still hurt, and the answer might still be unclear. The pain might still look completely different than what I wanted. But somehow there can still be good news. And maybe that's why the title conversation after church stayed with me. Two people notice a shirt, they said something, we talked, they start, they shared their story, he gave me an emblem, we took a picture, and then we continue with our lives. Small moment, but maybe that's how a lot of meaning, meaningful things begin. Someone simply being willing to start a conversation, and that's made and that made me think. A new peakable group, new people, new conversation. And after everything I just heard at church, I started looking at that night a little different. Maybe I wasn't only going there to distract myself anymore. Maybe God was reminding me that even after everything that happened, there are still people to meet, still friends to build, still life waiting outside the pain. Although I probably could have learned that lesson after eight hours of sleep. But apparently Sunday wasn't finished with me yet. So after church, after the message, after meeting the couple, after talking about missionary works, after getting this emblem, you would think I would finally go home and sleep. Remember, I had just finished a night shift that morning. I had worked Monday through Saturday. Sunday was my only day off. My body was basically saying please go to bed. And apparently I said pickle. Yeah, very responsible. That Sunday night I decided to I decided to play pickleball with new group. And honestly, I think I needed it. Not necessarily the pickleball itself, but I needed something new. New environment, new people, new conversation. Because for the last couple of weeks, my mind had been living in the past. San Francisco, the marathon, the relationship, things I said, things she said, things I wish I had happened differently, and when you're hurting, it's very easy to keep replaying the same chapter over and over and over again. Even when the chapter is already finished, your brain becomes the worst Netflix account ever. One episode, no new season, and somehow it keeps auto playing. No, absolutely not playing next episode in five seconds. Like wait, but seriously, that's what it can feel like. You know, something happened, you know, you can't change it, but your mind keeps returning to it, trying to find an answer that maybe isn't there. So I went to play pickleball, and this was a new group of me. I didn't really know everybody, and if you know me anything about me, I'm not usually the person who walks into a room full of strangers and immediately becomes the loudest person there. That's not me. I'm I'm more like let me observe everyone first. Like who are those people? Who are these people? I'm naturally pretty quiet, especially when some were new. But I well, and slowly I started talking to people. We stayed, we laughed, I met someone new, someone new friends, and for a couple hours I wasn't thinking about San Francisco. I wasn't thinking about what went wrong, I wasn't thinking about what I lost, I was simply there, and that felt good, but here's what was different. Earlier in the week, I was keeping myself busy because I was trying not to feel that Sunday night felt different. I wasn't trying to run away something, I was allowing myself to experience something new, and I think there's a difference. Distraction says I don't want to deal with my pain. Healing says my pain is real, but it doesn't have to control even part of my life. That was something I needed to learn because healing doesn't mean you sit alone until one day you magically feel nothing. Sometimes healing also means you start living again slowly, carefully, one conversation, one friendship, one normal night at a time. And I started thinking again about the message from church. Live sin. If God is sending us, then maybe we have to be willing to go. And again, I'm not talking about getting on an airplane and became a missionary tomorrow. Sometimes go means walk into a new room. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, thank you for meeting us exactly where we are. Thank you that our identity doesn't come from our accomplishment, our failures, our relationship, or our circumstances. Thank you for reminding us that we created in your image. Lord, forgive us for the things we sometimes use to feel, the empty space inside of us. For me, sometimes that's busyness. Sometimes I keep moving because I'm afraid of being of what I'll feel when I stop. Teach me not to run from you when life becomes quiet. Teach me to bring my pain to you. Thank you for the people you allow us to meet. Thank you for unexpected conversation, for encouragement from people we didn't know when the day started. Thank you for the couple I met after church, for their stories of serving others around the world, for their encouragement, and for this small emblem that will now remind me of what conversation. Bless them as they continue serving you and serving others. Lord, thank you for new friendship too. Thank you for reminding me that even when one chapter doesn't end the way I wanted, there is Still a life ahead. Keep my heart from becoming bitter. Help me stay open. Help me stay humble. Help me keep growing. And wherever you are sending me, give me car uh courage to go. Whether God across the world, across the room, into a new group to someone who needs encouragement or simply in front of the cat this camera. Use me even while you're still working on me. And anyone watching or listening who feel this if who feel lost because their plans change. Remind them that what happened to them is not the end of who they are. Help us anchor our identity in you in Jesus' name. Amen. You know, when I think about Sunday, it's kind of funny. I walk into church after working all night. I was tired, still healing, still trying to understand everything that happened recently. And I walked into and wearing a shirt that said God's plan. Then I heard a message about identity, about being sad, about bringing good news. Then the people sitting behind me complimented this shirt and told me about their missionary works. One of them gave me this. Give me this. And then later that night I walk into a completely new group and meet new friends. Maybe none of those moments were huge by themselves. But together they reminded me of something my life is still moving. God is still working, and maybe I don't need to know exactly where He's taking me next. I just need to be willing to take the next step. And apparently I also need to keep wearing this shirt because this shirt has better skills social skills than I do. Thank you for spending another week with me. If you're watching this and you're going through a season where your plans look completely different than what you imagine, I hope this episode reminds you that you're more than what happened to you. You can still heal, you can still grow, you can still met new people, you can still find purpose in God, can still use you while you're figuring everything out. I'm still not a perfect Christian. I'm still learning, I'm still healing, I'm still growing, and I'm still taking one step closer to God. I'll see you next week. God bless.