Your Values

Your values are your True North—the internal compass that keeps you from drifting in the noise of the world. They aren’t just a list of polite words; they are the invisible architecture of your life, transforming every crossroads into a clear, decisive step toward your "True Self."

Your values are not just what you believe—they are what you do when no one is watching. They are revealed in the sacrifices you make, the paths you choose, and the habits you protect. When you stop chasing the world's expectations and start following your own needle, you aren't just living—you are crafting a life of radical authenticity.

How do your core values currently show up in the "Adventuremental Life" projects you are cultivating?

Transcript

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Aristotle said, we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit. Welcome to the path of authenticity. Today we're talking about our values and how they determine true north on the path of authenticity. I'm Piper Winifred and I want to welcome you to the authentic self. Previously, I've mentioned taking your path in a purposeful direction. The direction you want to go metaphorically is true north. True North is a way of saying that you are following a path consistent with your true self. You might be wondering how you can know what true north is. This is an easy answer. True North, like the compass, equals your values. Your values are your true north. Values determine which direction you will travel on your path. In philosophy, values are crucial for ethical decision making. In psychology, they're the core of what makes a life meaningful, moving away from short-term satisfaction to long-term fulfillment. Abraham Maslow, the groundbreaking psychologist responsible for the hierarchy of needs, also noted that values are an integral part of self-actualization or coming to understand and become your true self. Values have a drip-down effect. They inform your beliefs, your behavior, and your choices. The best way to align your path to your values is to use them as a North Star. That means take an inventory of your life. Review your words, your actions, and regular activities, the company you keep, how you spend your money, how you treat your family, friends, and strangers, how you allocate your time, and how you treat yourself, and assess whether or not you are living in alignment with your values. This requires both self-awareness and self-honesty. It probably takes more than a few minutes, and you might need to take notes. Did you already have an idea of your values before you started to write them down? Did any that you found surprise you? These values that you've chosen are the direction of your path. The seven steps of the path work towards that compass point. Ideas and values cannot be imposed on you. They are yours to decide based on similar values, your personal experience, data and facts, logic and critical thinking. I was a university professor for many years and frequently presented new ideas to my beloved students. Often those ideas challenged their values or belief systems, especially when we talked about history or religions. Even so, it was always up to each student to use their own critical thinking skills to decide how each of them would interpret the data and how it would affect their value system. This is what each of us grapples with as we go about the world and encounter a variety of cultural differences, values, and belief systems and weigh them against our own ideas. The ultimate end result of this is the influence this has on our chosen actions. Let me give you an example. I'll tell you a story from religious history about how values influence our daily path and ultimately affect our destination. This story comes from the Hebrew Bible, also known as the Old Testament. The hero is Rebecca, and the tale begins with Father Abraham sending his trusted servant Eleazar to travel far away to Abraham's homeland to find a wife for his son Isaac. This is an important story, for all of Israel will descend through this lineage. The woman Eliezer chooses will be crucial both to history and heaven's imperative. When Eliezer reaches Abraham's homeland, he prays to God that the woman he is seeking when asked, Woman, please let down your jar that I may have a drink, will respond, drink and I'll water your camels too. The story proceeds as beautiful Rebecca approaches the well with a jar on her shoulder, and when asked for a drink, she says, Drink, my lord. After giving Eliezar a drink, she says, I'll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking. Eleazar has found the treasure he sought. What's important to us about this story is Rebecca's heroic attributes. She didn't suddenly wake up that one day and decide to go to the well and water a stranger's camels. Hers wasn't random action. The reason Rebecca was the perfect choice for Abraham's search was because this was her normal practice. She regularly responded to requests for help with hospitality, and offering to water the camels was not an imposition. It aligned with her values. Becoming Isaac's wife and therefore a mother of Israel was a consequence of living a life of integrity. She walked a heroic path. Her value system carried her towards her destination. And Biblical history. When I was teaching at the university, I gathered together a dynamic group of honor students and graduate students to join my authenticity project. Among other details, we studied the heroic path, which outlined the contributions and similarities of heroes throughout time. We compiled a list of characteristics of the universal hero in history. We asked each civilization in the world of different time periods what attributes a hero must embody to be called a hero. We were amazed to discover that the list remained the same throughout time and place. We labeled our hero the hero prince because that's what the wonderful societies we studied called him. After a while, we also studied the hero princess. Again, throughout time, the list of characteristics remained the same. In a couple minutes, I'm going to give you a list called heroic attributes and alternately touchstones to humanity. We formulated this list based on the characteristics of the universal hero. When you hear the list, you will notice that the list of heroic attributes is the same in the past as it is today. Isn't that interesting? In medieval times, which lasted about a thousand years, Knights started training pages when the boys were seven years old. The boy not only trained in fighting techniques and horseback riding, but thoroughly learned a code of conduct. The amazing discovery we found is the code of conduct matched the heroic attributes. Even more amazing is Japanese tradition was similar in its longtime tradition of training young men from the time they were seven years old. The Japanese way of the warrior was called Bushido and matched the heroic attributes. A hero is a hero? In ancient Sparta, a society completely geared toward defense, young boys also started their warrior training at age seven. Not only did they learn to fight and survive deprivation, but they learned the way of the warrior, which included a code of conduct just like the heroic attributes list, which they also called a code of conduct. Today it is the same, even though it is not so blatant. In modernity, unfortunately, we tend not to talk about heroes, even though we can find them if we think about it. Every person lives according to a code of conduct. That code is fashioned by the seven steps and the destination of the path that forms according to our values. Does that sound difficult? Let me make this clear. The seven steps of the path form your daily path. It is individual and unique because it's all about you. The direction of your path is aimed according to your values. What this means is it's important for you to know and understand your core values. Values begin to form when we are very young, then they moor for change as we learn and grow throughout our lives. Some values are a bit subconscious, even unconscious, and others we choose consciously. That's where Socrates' idea of the unexamined life comes in. What if you're walking a narrow or isolated path with very few other people or no one else involved in your life? Maybe there are no activities to be involved in, or the activities you're involved in aren't hero-worthy, so the values you embrace are perhaps antisocial or without value. That actually describes many people's lives, and they may not even realize it due to the nature of their path. Core values are an important part of the true self. Core values are the guiding principles that shape our decisions, behaviors, and interactions with the world. Just like Rebecca showed in the story above, and as I stated before, values are the navigation aspect of the path, directing us towards our goal in life. They serve as an internal compass, helping us determine what truly matters, not just as an end goal, but throughout our life. When we align with our core values, we experience a deep sense of fulfillment and integrity because our actions reflect our authentic selves. When we stray from them, whether due to external pressures or societal expectations, we often feel disconnected, lost, or dissatisfied, even if we appear successful on the surface. Recognizing and honoring our core values helps us stay on the path, living with authenticity. Since authenticity is the practice of being true to who we are at our core, rather than conforming to external influences that don't align with our truth, recognizing and understanding our core values keeps us on track. When we understand our core values, we gain clarity about what feels right and what does not. This lucidity allows us to make choices that honor our true selves, whether in relationships, career paths, or personal growth. The more we embrace these values, the more we cultivate a life that resonates with our innermost identity rather than the one built on super expectations or fear of judgment. When we understand our core values, we gain clarity about what feels right and what does not. Core values are an important part of the true self. Core values are the guiding principles that shape our decisions, behaviors, and interactions with the world. Just like Rebecca showed in the story, values are the navigation aspect of the path, directing us towards our goal in life. They serve as an internal compass, helping us determine what truly matters, not just as an end goal, but throughout our life. When we feel a deep sense of fulfillment and integrity because our actions reflect our authentic selves, when we stray from them, whether due to external pressures or societal expectations, we often feel disconnected, lost, or dissatisfied, even if we appear successful on the surface. Recognizing and honoring our core values helps us stay on the path, living with authenticity. As we deepen our connection with our core values, we naturally attract relationships and opportunities that support our authenticity. People who share or respect our values are drawn to our energy, leading to more meaningful and fulfilling connections. In contrast, when we compromise our values, we may find ourselves in relationships or environments that drain us or feel misaligned. By honoring our values, we create a life that is not only authentic, but also rich with purpose and joy. Living in alignment with our core values requires courage and self-awareness. Society often imposes ideals that may conflict with our authentic nature, pressuring us to prioritize success, appearance, or approval over personal truth. When we remain steadfast in our values, however, we develop resilience and confidence, making decisions that nourish our well-being rather than seeking external validation. This path fosters inner peace as we no longer feel the need to pretend or perform for the world. Instead, we stand firm in the knowledge that we are living in alignment with what truly matters to us. The journey towards our true self is a process of continual self-discovery, reflection, and realignment. Our values serve as touchstones, helping us navigate life's complexities while staying true to who we are. When we live in accordance with them, we experience a profound sense of harmony and self-respect, knowing that our choices reflect our deepest truths. This path may not always be the easiest, but it is the most rewarding as it leads to a life of genuine fulfillment and purpose. What are your core values? Here is a short list of examples: integrity, compassion, authenticity, growth, courage, freedom, creativity, resilience, gratitude, respect, balance, connection, and generosity, and wisdom. For additional examples, check out the internet for a fun session with yourself. It might be tempting to choose all the values you find simply because they are desirable. You might give yourself a limit. It doesn't matter what that number is, like 20, 30, or 50, simply to force yourself to choose those values that are most important to you personally. Try to choose values from different categories. Here are some ideas of categories: personal growth and self-development. In that, the values would be learning, wisdom, curiosity, growth, and resilience. Integrity and ethics. The values there would be honesty, fairness, accountability, justice, and transparency. Relationships and connection. We would choose values like love, compassion, trust, loyalty, and empathy. Freedom and independence. Values there would be autonomy, creativity, adventure, self-expression, and flexibility. How about health and well-being? Values would be balance, self-care, vitality, longevity, and inner peace, or achievement and ambition. Choose from success, excellence, leadership, determination, mastery. Next would be contribution and service, and the values would be generosity, kindness, altruism, philanthropy, and making a difference. Spirituality and meaning. You could choose faith, purpose, inner harmony, mindfulness, or gratitude, stability and security. You could choose safety, financial responsibility, preparedness, order, responsibility. And lastly, joy and enjoyment. Choose from fun, humor, creativity, playfulness, and passion. A true self is on the right path, headed towards their true purpose. Every step will bring you closer. What's also important to mention is that this is a chosen happiness versus societal expectations. A true self chooses what is meaningful and right for him or her. Both self-awareness and self-acceptance are significant aspects of the true self. The hero accepts who they are. Keep that in mind as you research your core values. It's also part of what's called the liminal moment, meaning when you choose your values or designate your values. Liminal comes from its meaning, which is threshold. The hero steps over the threshold onto the path. Before this moment, the hero was living a regular non-journey life. Let's say this hero is you. So you were going about your regular life, going to work each day, raising kids, taking care of paying the bills, spending time with friends, doing errands, listening to music, grocery shopping. But you felt like something was coming. It's been rumbling inside you. You've known deep inside that you are called to adventure. Understanding the categories that I listed before can help you reflect on what truly resonates with you and guide you towards living a life that aligns with your most important values. There are no right or wrong value choices except those that resonate with you. The transformation is similar to what you will experience as you encounter yourself on this segment of the path, doing the difficult work of looking in the mirror of true seeing, testing yourself as the hero that you are, and owning up to your strengths, of course. Sometimes even that is hard, as we are often mistakenly taught to be so humble that we don't recognize our own talents and superpowers. Then also facing our weaknesses and having the humility and courage to practice the transformation of our daily path to live a hero's life. I want to give you a tool to use on your journey. Keep it with you throughout your life. It's called the lamp of authenticity. You can envision this lamp or light however you want. When I say envision, you will use your marvelous imagination. Picture this lamp as a lantern, a flashlight, or a torch you hold high. Imagine walking on the path as a metaphor for living your life. Each step you take is like a day in your life. As you live, the light that you hold in your hand through the way that you live shines forth not only for others to see, but more importantly, for you to guide yourself. As you hold your light aloft, you will see the path illuminated just ahead of you. You can feel comfortable stepping into that light. You can see the path. As you step forward, your light comes with you naturally and helps you take the next step and the next. The light I shine on the path through the way that I live reveals the details of my personal path. I can forge ahead with confidence. This is an important concept. The light is the way I reveal myself to the world through the way that I live. How do I know what kind of light I'm reflecting and how it's different from other lights and other people? Now it's time to give you another tool, one that I've already mentioned, a valuable tool that has been used for many centuries, the mirror of true seeing. Time out of mind, the classic hero's journey has included a crucial moment in the adventure that is life, when the hero must look deep into an important, even life-altering mirror. This mirror requires the hero to truly see him or herself. An important consideration about the hero's journey is that the classic tales that are written for the reader to place themselves in the role of the hero. You and I are supposed to imagine that we are the hero setting forth on the adventure, encountering the different allies and foes, the various obstacles and battles presented by the author of the classic tales. The mirror of true scene is part of the process of determining whether or not the hero is ready for the journey. In the tradition of the hero's journey, this is officially called accepting the call. Typically, the hero comes to a point in their life when they realize that it's time to begin the journey. He or she wants to embrace the path. There is a tremendous amount of power involved in the liminal moment. You need to know who you are and what you are called to be. It's like opening a door and stepping across the threshold of that doorway so you can know how to be deep inside. You actually know how to be deep inside. You've known it since you were born. The open door beckons to you. Will you step through? Will you venture forth? Will you answer the call to adventure? You are a hero, so of course you do. Once you do, you engage the path. The seven steps of the path are now focused on the authenticity journey. Obviously, before you crossed the threshold, before the liminal moment, before you answered the call, you were thinking, believing, feeling, imagining, acting, connecting, and reflecting. Now those seven steps are focused on authenticity by focusing on your core values, your true north. At this point, the hero encounters the mirror of true scene because you need more direction than this. Harry Potter encounters the mirror of Erasid. Do you remember the scene? His mirror reveals his deepest desire. What does it say about him and can he handle it? Does he pass the test? In the never-ending story, the hero Atreyu confronts his true self in the magic mirror gate. He has to be able to stand up to himself in order to pass through the mirror, which is also a gate to the next step in his quest. The mirror requires him to face his true self and confront his fears. It reflects his inner thoughts and feelings, forcing him to confront his insecurities, finding strength within himself. In Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, the hero Frodo must look in Galadriel's Mirror of Tuscene to face the dangers ahead and accept himself as the hero. These examples and hundreds more from the hero's journey throughout the actual stories and history and in literature, scriptures, barge tales, sagas, and more reveal a human truth. In order to succeed in your journey to self-actualization and complete your true purpose, you must face the truth about yourself. In some stories, the mirror operates as a vehicle for discovery and the beginning of the journey, like in Alice through the looking glass. As Alice steps through the mirror to find everything reflected in mirrors, she must discover her true self and find her place in the world. In others, as with the myth of narcissists, the hero gazes into the mirror but goes no further, so he remains stuck forever, bent over the water mirror, and is turned into the flower we call narcissus. The key to being a hero is to be your true self, to endeavor to be your best self as you venture forth on the authenticity journey. On your authenticity journey, you need to be able to face the truth about yourself and to get to the next step in your life journey. Right now, you're probably asking, where is my mirror of true scene? Fortunately, I have an answer for you. The answer is another time-honored element from stories throughout time, and that's to go to the woods. In our next episode, we will deal with going to the woods. In the meantime, you will be establishing your values and your core values so that you're ready for the woods. Please check on following so that you don't miss that episode and others, so that you can enter your woods with care and pay special attention to the path you took to get there. I'm Piper Winifred, and I'll look to see you in our next episode.