The Truth About Intuition, Premonitions & Shadow Work

Could your higher self be communicating with you through dreams, déjà vu, gut feelings, and unexplained synchronicities? In this episode, we examine ancient spiritual beliefs, modern metaphysics, near-death experiences, and personal encounters that blur the line between consciousness and the unknown. Is your higher self a spiritual guide—or something even more mysterious?

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome everybody to The Vine and the Veil, the podcast where we dive between worlds to reveal the mysteries of the light and the dark, the wisdom of the spiritual, the wonder of the mystical, and the power of the supernatural. I'm your host, Carlos, and this is my co-host, Maria. And in today's episode, what are we going to talk about?

SPEAKER_00 0:19

We're going to talk about your higher self, intuition, a little bit of everything down that's dreams, because I think dreams and visions kind of tie in tie into all of that.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

So yeah, let's get started with as we see birds pass by. That's interesting. A bunch of them migrating around because we're on a vineyard. So yeah, let's start off with the idea of higher self. Have you looked into higher self? Have you have you thought about what higher self actually is?

SPEAKER_00 0:51

You know, our deepest insight to a little bit of everything, whether it's something that comes from, you know, 20 years down the line, speaking to us currently, or past life experiences that might be coming if you believe in that, coming to your current existence, a little bit of intuition, that inner voice that tells you whether or not you should jump on a plane when it might be crashing in the near future or during that trip. Things like that. That's my interpretation of what higher self is.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Yeah, so there's there's some fascinating theories about higher self. So there is this idea that your higher self sits at the level of the universe, and so it knows everything that's happening, and you are but a fragment of your higher self. So a part of you, your consciousness, has come down into this 3D space, into this, into this timeline. And basically that's what incarnates in a physical body. The body's a vessel, and so all of your experiences, everything that you do here on the 3D is relayed up into your higher self. Some people call it the inner self because it's you know, you hear all the time. If you want to know something, why are you looking externally? Ask yourself because you will know the answer to it if you just ask, which is kind of interesting.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

And you'll know the answer to it, but does it give you the answer to things?

SPEAKER_02 2:21

It can sometimes, but a lot of times it's more of just the feelings, or if you are, I don't know which way to go. Can I get some insight? What do you think? You ask yourself, and it'll point you in a in a direction. But I think a lot of it is kind of up to you to decide where ultimately you go, even though your higher self is just sitting and giving you insight. And that insight can take form of many, many things, right? Because I think people believe also in deities, extraterrestrial entities, ghosts, and things like that, spiritual advisors, spirit guides. And I think ultimately all of those are some form of your higher self that you as a human being that sits in this planet can identify with.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

So I think that's what I was gonna ask. Is it's your your higher self manifests, this thing that is familiar to you, right? That would resonate with you.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Yeah, so for some people it's ancestors, some people are really into ancestral veneration, and you know, that's that's a big thing for them. For other people, it's you know, spirit guides, which make up a bunch of different types of beings. Some people it's deities or you know, potentially extraterrestrial races that help guide them. Right. Some people it's angels. So I think all ultimately whatever, and we've talked about this before, whatever resonates in your reality, what you think, will will show for you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

So the question was posed in one of my posts that the post about the experience that I had where the gentleman handed me a rose, could that have been a manifestation of my higher self trying to reassure me that I was gonna be okay?

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Yeah, I never took it from that perspective until that question was asked.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

Because I think that you know everybody's always looking for the external sign.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Right.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

What basically happens, at least in my opinion, is that your higher self, because we see our brain interprets what it sees, right? See, feel, touch, smell, and it takes that, and there's a delay in what it takes in and what it ultimately processes for you. And so when it projects out, you project out your reality. I think that there's parts of how your higher self that can go and say, okay, based on what this person is feeling, my person, me, I'm feeling, I'm going to project this into reality to show you that everything's gonna be okay, or maybe to point you in this path, or maybe to open this door for you. And so a lot of people take that and they're like, oh, the external show. Right, right. The people, well, no, it's actually you showing yourself, yeah, but in a way that you can understand.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Yeah, you actually, in telling me the path, like I totally forgot about this dream until you're mentioning it right now. So I was freshman year in college. I had just gotten out of that, actually, it might now it was freshman year in college. I was trying to figure out like what life path I was gonna take. So we, as you've known, if you listen to our podcast, were very much raised in the Catholic faith catechism since preschool. We knew our priests by first name, had dinner with them. So Father Ayrsdad showed up in my dream. And I am on a park path, and he meets me at a bifurcation at the crossroads, and he's like, You need to figure out which route you want to take. If you go this way, it's gonna be boring. If you're gonna go this way, it's gonna be treacherous. I can't be the one to make that decision for you. Either way, you'll have a good outcome, but it's up to you which path you want to take.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

So it was actually pointing in a direction of like kind of looping into Palm Springs and staying there, which I didn't want to do, or venturing north. So I took that as a sign that I needed to continue my path northward. And here I live in Northern California, but mind you, it was several years to get here. But I kept on progressing further north throughout my life as I became an adult. So it was really interesting. And I think that might have been my higher self telling me, like, do I want to stay where I am? It'd be easy, it'd be familiar, it'd be comfortable, or do I want to adventure into something that the obviously there'll be bumps in the road, but it could lead to something cool and beautiful, which it has.

SPEAKER_02 6:55

That's an interesting, an interesting way of looking at it. I look at the higher self as kind of like the higher self universe god. It's the same, it's all tied into the same thing, right? There's a there's an existence out there, whether it's consciousness that is that is aware of everything that's ever happened or that ever will happen, or that the the universe is constantly experiencing itself, and your higher self is part of that in a at a at a smaller level. And I do think that, at least in my opinion, that there are multiple fragments of a higher self that exist at any given time. And this ties into the idea of that there's different versions of you that are out there experiencing something at the exact same time, which is kind of neat. Maybe not, maybe not, and possibly sometimes in in this existence, in this time and space, there might be another person who you really like. It's just a huge resonance, and you feel like they're home, and that might be again a fragment of you that is there, or that there is a there's other parts of you or other fragments of consciousness that exist in different dimensions, different timelines, different spaces, and that everything rolls up into the higher self, which is why sometimes when you get deja vu, it might be that version of you has already experienced that. And so that information is passed over to your higher self and you get that. Right. And I think part of the idea of remembering who you are is remembering and tapping into all of the experiences that you have had and are having in all of these different places.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Anytime I have deja vu, I always think I hope I get it right this time every time.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

That's really funny.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Yeah, it happens often.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

And the signs that you give yourself can come from different ways. And I think some people, you know, look for an obvious sign, but it could be you hear something line in a movie, or you overhear a conversation, or you know, some people use tarot cards to get information, but it's all ultimately you giving yourself the insight that you need in this time and space to move forward. Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

I think one of my favorite quotes in a movie that I actually used in mom's eulogy um was from WandaVision, and it was that grief is love persevering. And I actually used it for one of my coworkers that died really, really young. He and his family, because his like half of his life was working with us all the time, that they came in and they just wanted to hear from the friends in the family, right? Or the friends that co-workers that were essentially his other family. So we brought him in, we kind of all met with the family, and the wife was was grieving. And for me, like that, I felt like that line again would would bring her some peace. That it's okay to grieve, it's okay to continue to remember and love somebody. And it's needed versus like, oh no, I don't want to remember.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

I think we do need to remember and honor the person that I think that is, I think that is something that is again, it depends on your belief system. I think that's something that's something that is ingrained in whatever culture you grew up in, whatever religion you believe in. Because you look at other cultures, it's like, okay, they moved on.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

They moved on, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

Cool. Uh the idea of ancestral veneration. You have to venerate your ancestors and you know, give them love and respect them and remember them. I think that is a you know something that is practiced in a lot of cultures. But you know, you have to ask yourself, is that is that's not for them, that's for you.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Well, and it she felt it. It w it was something that I think that she needed.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Sure, and because you need it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Well, there it's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

There it is for you, right? But I mean, like you take into consideration when mom passed, right? I was there when she passed, I helped her move on. And I was like, well, you know, if you moved on from this current time and space and you moved on to the next time and space, maybe you your consciousness shifted from where you are now into consciousness of of you doing some other thing, being some other person, and that's kind of the leap.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

I have not seen her since she's passed, but you seem to see her quite often.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

Yeah, yeah, in dreams. And I think that's the other interesting topic is dream state. And I think a lot of people they have these lucid dreams, or they feel like they're experiencing something in their dreams that feels so real, it's so vivid. And they wake up sometimes and they're exhausted from the dream that's happening.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

And some people believe that they're, you know, you when you are asleep, you're moving into a different dimension or a different timeline, and you exist there as well because you are an infinite being and you exist in many, many places at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

So lucid dreams are kind of cool. I don't have you ever met your like another version of you? Have you dreamt about another version of you? Have you encountered anybody that you were like, man, that that person is so much like you.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

I I always see myself from like the out like a POV. Like, I see myself in my dream, living out whatever it is, actions or every dream I have. I'm like, point of view, it's not me looking out into something, it's me watching myself living whatever it is that I'm taking the scenario in my dream. Yes. You're kind of hovering over your I'm hovering over whatever I am dreaming about.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

Do you ever go into first person? Like your actions?

SPEAKER_00 12:36

I not that I recollect, those aren't the dreams that I remember. I always remember it from a third person.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

That's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Yeah, I'm either third person or first person. It just depends on whatever the dream is going to be. Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Yeah, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

But it's they're super real and super vive.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

And I always make sure to write them down. So I think that's a that's another big thing. If you have a dream and you remember it when you wake up, take the time to go to your phone, go into notes, and write something about that dream because there's probably some message in that dream for you or something that you need to kind of sit with and and and unpack that's really, really good. So keep a dream journal. I think that's something that's extremely valuable for people as they're going on the journey.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Yeah, I had a tsunami dream again. When we always talk about tsunami dreams because it's something that we both dream about. This tuna was weird because it was in Oracle Stadium where the Giants, San Francisco Giants, play. And my sister and I were there. I don't remember you being there, but we were on the higher level in the concession place. And then all of a sudden we noticed that the tide in the bay had gone out and the water line was low. And I was like, oh shit, we need to go higher. So we run to a higher level, and on that side, there was a concession stand too. And next thing we know, the wave comes in and it just lapsed like three stairs below where we were. So we were able to escape that that whole tsunami. Everybody else perished, of course. But on that upper level, where we weren't the only ones, there were several other people there. We ended up being stuck there for two weeks. And in those two weeks, we ended up having to create a government. We ended up having to create rules. We had to ration the food that was there. We ate a lot of hot dogs because there was a surplus of hot dogs, but it was just one of those things, like in this, like it I felt like the dream was maybe five minutes, but it felt like it was like a lifetime of a dream. It was really fascinating. But yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Have you tried to have you tried to unpack it?

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Like, no, not really. I mean, Veronica had just visited, so there was a little bit of that connection where she had just come and visited us. But um, normally tsunami means like there's gonna be turmoil or turbulence that's coming, change coming into your life. But if you avoid it, that means it's not necessarily gonna impact you.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Um, you didn't necessarily avoid it in your dream.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

I mean, I didn't avoid it. You experienced I experienced the aftermath.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

And the aftermath was what you kind of rebuilt. So you're at least in my interpretation, whatever it is is gonna happen to you is just gonna just wreck shit to the foundation, and then you're gonna build it back up again.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

I mean, I'm gonna eat a lot of glizzies while I'm and I think that's and I think that's good.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

That happens in people's lives, right? They go into situations where you you mentioned it before, you you hit a crossroads, you have to make choices. Sometimes the choice that you make is the choice where you actually have to give up control and go. It's interesting. We just watched the movie The Odyssey. Yes, and Calypso tells what's his name?

SPEAKER_00 15:54

Odysseus.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Was it Odysseus? She tells Odysseus, in order to really find your way, you have to give up control and go into the unknown. And that is pretty much what happens with a lot of people, is they get to that point where it's like, I can continue down this path that I know and it's the devil I do, basically. Right. Or I can go down this path and it's completely unknown and completely scary. But I believe that this could be the right way for me to go. And I don't know what's gonna happen, but I believe in myself enough to be able to take that and go all in.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

Which is wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Yeah, and you're kind of living that right, and you're taking a leap into the unknown, and we all believe in you.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Yep. So that's that's the that's the interesting part about the the idea of your higher self and trying to find a lot of people seek answers externally, they seek answers from what do you call those people, like either tarot readers or mediums or people that want that tell you information. And I think that those people can see possibilities, but that's not the the fully formed outcome yet, right? And I think that with visiting sometimes those people, they can give you or plant seeds that can help that can push you in a certain push you in a certain direction when that might not be the right direction for you.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

I believe that's true.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

So listen to your higher self, yeah. Listen to yourself. And the other the other thing about higher self that I find very helpful for you guys out there is the idea that you know visualization is important. I think what a lot of people say they want to go into meditation and they want to increase their awareness and they want to sit silent. It's important to sit with your thoughts and to visualize visualization and imagination are the key to unlocking the the other the other dimensions or the other realms or whatever you want to call it. And one of the biggest things is I think has been very helpful for me and this whole process of getting in touch with higher self or the universe or God, hug higher self, universe, God, is the idea that as you go and look at back at your life and you hit all the different places that where you experience a lot of heartache, trauma, something major in your life. Imagine you at that point and talk to you at that point and ask yourself questions because that part of you will definitely give you answers. And I think a lot of people don't want to do that because it's scary, because they're afraid of what they're going to hear when they're listening to their five-year-old self tell them about something, or their teenage self, or their high school self, or their college self telling them about what they're worried about, what their challenges are, or what they feel like they've been holding on to that they need to let go of. So, you know, when you think about the connection with your higher self, those are different aspects of you that you need to not be afraid of and listen to, because those are the keys to unlocking all of those conversations with your higher self.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

So yeah, that's cool. And I mean, there's so many different modalities, I guess you could call them. When you know, dream walking, people talk about the in-between, and sit, you know, you're in between sleep and awakeness, and your consciousness is awake, and that's when you can actually experience things with beings and deities and other stuff, or you can get more information. Some people call it downloads. I think all of those are valid. It it depends on what resonates the most with you and what you can find that you can get the most out of. What works for you, it might not work for that next person. And I think the goal of our podcast when we talk about these things is just to give you our perspective. And if it resonates with you, great. Try it and see what works. And keep trying until you find the thing that resonates the most with you or that fills your cup at that given point in time.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

Right. Have you there's a little belief that intuition is a part of your higher self giving you messages. Have you ever had an instance where you've experienced something that was similar to that? A moment of intuition that like you were floored, like I can't believe I felt this, whether it was a premonition or something that you took action on, and you're like, whoa, that was validated.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

That's a tough one.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

That's a tough one because for me, I guess at this point where I'm at now, I listen all the time. I'm very aware of what what's insights that are coming. So it's not I listen to my intuition and it tells me, oh my god, don't go there or stop that or don't do that. I haven't had an experience like that where it's like, oh my God, I I didn't go there, and because I didn't go there, I avoided this tragedy from actually happening.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

I had an experience, and I do think that there was a connection between mom and I only because this happened. So this was I was 17, I was working in retail, and mom was on a trip to Vegas with Laughlin. No, she you guys were in Laughlin. She was in Vegas coming back from Vegas with grandma and I thought she was going to Laughlin. No, because you guys were in Laughlin. You dad and Claudia were in Laughlin. So they were in Laughlin, and my mom and my aunts were in Vegas and they were coming back from Vegas. They were in a rollover accident. I would had no clue at the time that this had taken place, but I felt something enough where I decided, I would told one of my coworkers, I'm like, something happened to my mom. Like, I I just know. I decided to pick up the phone, and this was before HIPAA was a thing. I looked it up. 1996 is when HIPAA took effect. I call Desert Hospital and I'm like, hey, just wondering if you by chance have had any of these people come through your emergency room. So they're like, well, actually, your grandmother is in the process of being airlifted here from the accident site, but your mom is at the high desert hospital. And I was like, oh my God, I can't believe like I actually felt something and can actually validate that this happened. So that was like I called Bronica because you guys were in Laughlin. I don't know how I got to tell you guys because this was before cell phones. When this took place, I think you guys called, or maybe I called the hotel you were staying at, but was able to get a hold of them to let them know that had happened as well. But my sister and I drove up to the high desert to see my mom and pick up my other ants. Thankfully, everyone was okay. Concussions. My grandmother did amazing work. She was a midwife, so she ended up creating tourniquets for people and and was able to make sure everyone was safe. But it was a crazy car accident, and like they were very lucky to all have survived. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

So you felt it.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

I felt it.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

I felt that's more, I think that's more connection. It could be connected. Energetic connection. And I guess you could t you could tie it to intuition, but I mean it's just based on the connection that you have with somebody, how strong that connection is. Because there are there are people that can feel like twins. Twins or with your kids. Like I used to know when my kids were going to come into the room before they came in. I would wake up right before they came in. So it's it's that kind of a strong connection that you can have that you can you're so in tune energetically and vibrationally with that person that you can feel what they feel.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

I had that connection with a surgeon. I would know whenever he was in our department before he actually even came in. I was like, looks like he showed up. You're like, somebody's here.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

I felt the disturbance in the force.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

There was definitely a disturbance in the force anytime he walked through the door, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

But I think I think the higher self is the idea of the higher self is fascinating. Whether it is or it isn't, it's the universe. I think a lot of people call it different things, and across cultures, they believe in different ideas of what it actually is: enlightenment, consciousness, God as a being. I think it's all the same ultimately.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

I agree.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

And why are we here? I think we're here to have experiences.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

Good or bad. Just have experiences and and to learn and continue to grow from them. So that when we do shift into the next version of us, we are a lot smarter and we have different experiences. Yeah. Maybe on a different planet. Who knows?

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Yeah. Or even, you know, our next experience. Hopefully, we've learned from the you know, 20 times we've done something before and do it right the next time. Some people don't. Some don't. That's why the deja vu gets me every time. I'm like, I hope I'll make the right choice this time around.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Yeah, well, I mean, the the the universe is the world bases itself on patterns. Patterns happen all the time. You can see it in nature. Replicate, replicate, replicate. And I think that when it comes to you learning what you're sub what you should learn, it will come back again. The pattern will repeat itself, and it may not repeat itself the same exact way. But you'll know whether it's a person that a type of an archetype of a person that you keep bringing into your life that you just haven't learned to set boundaries for, or even said, Hey, this person's not good for me. Come back in because you haven't worked on yourself enough to be able to do that, or a place, yeah, because you keep ending up in the same places over again, or the same kind of jobs that you dislike. A lot of that is stuff that you should be aware of, and you need to figure out, okay, is this something that I want to actually learn and move on from? Or am I content just living my life in this pattern that will continue to live? And it it can happen for generations too.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

I think people are afraid to take the leap because they're comfortable or there's a financial responsibility, right? So they they put up with the status quo because it's they feel like they're trapped in that moment in that space. And I think that's why people stay longer than they should.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

Well, I mean, look at look at where this area. This area is it's a beautiful area. There's there's so much land, the vineyards are fantastic, but a lot of times the people here have been here for generations, yes, and this is all they know. And you talk to a lot of them, and they've never left this area, yeah, which is wild because we have a massive city. Well, two big cities that are two hours and three hours away.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

And they've never been.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

They've never been.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

It's just it's mind-boggling.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

It was interesting actually during the leadership meeting that I had today during lunch. Uh, two of the women that I work with, their daughters, decided that they were gonna go to college in Southern California. And in retrospect, they're like, we wish we would have done that, but they stayed local and made their career locally, but they never had that experience of knowing more than just their little their little window. Sure, they've been on trips to different places, Europe, you know, tropical islands, but they've never really experienced living life outside of this county, which is it's a the world itself is so fascinating. I there are like a thousand places I still want to live in my life because I would love to have those experiences.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Yeah, yeah. But they never do.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

And it and it's and it they're repeating the same pattern. And so for generations, the pattern repeats itself until somebody decides to break it. Right. But in that in breaking that, it's very difficult because the the energy that's there will try to pull you back.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 28:15

Try to pull you back in. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

We we talked about that with dad, like the sabotage that the un and I do feel it was unintentional, but unintentional sabotage when he knew we were gonna do something to better our lives or go down a better path, he would do things that necessarily didn't support that. And you're like, where is this coming from? You want you want something better for me, so where is this coming from? And I think there's like this generational pool that wants to keep things as they are.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

Yep, and that manifests itself in those ways.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

What do you think that energy is? What's that stagnant energy?

SPEAKER_02 28:51

I don't know. I I think that it was how they they were raised, and nobody thought, I don't think people they the the family was awake enough to make a decision and realize, hey, this is a pattern that needs to dissipate. Right. Because it's not it's not helping us in any way. They just kind of went with it and kept kept and all of them did. And the moment that anybody try showed that they were gonna try to, it was immediate pullback.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

It was immediate pullback, yes. And we like, oh, we heard it all the time, the different condescending remarks because we were studying or going to college or whatever it was because we weren't gonna have a family and do things the traditional way, and it was it was a weird comparison to a lot of our cousins of the path that we took versus the path that everybody else took.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

And so it's it's I don't know. I I think that sometimes you wonder why what was happening in in you know, taking this back around to the higher self discussion. What were their higher selves doing? Were they looking and trying to give them information that they just couldn't take or didn't listen to?

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Or they just, you know, they didn't take the time to get to listen to their higher self and went the route of the tarot readers or the people that were intuitives that were like, you know, maybe you should go this path. I won't say the things that I really want to say, even though I really want to say them, but just not choosing the wiser choice in life.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

Or I think that they were so it was a matriarchy. Grandmother was very strong and she was very strong. So I think that probably had a lot to do with it. But yeah, none of them. None of them ever broke it.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

Except for the cousins that didn't live here in California.

SPEAKER_02 30:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

They they had a different path.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

Right. Choosing a different path. They were far enough away.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Maybe, or that was their life path. That was what they were going to experience. Yep. Yeah, and and you know, when you think about the pattern repeating itself, you know, our father basically repeated the pattern again, right? My mom passed away. She was a certain type of person, and he was working on himself for a little while. He was doing the work, he was, you know, trying to increase his awareness, find his spirituality, you know, get in touch with his higher self. Like all of these things he was trying to do. And then he got to the point where I think it was too much for him and too hard for him. So he reverted back to his old pattern and found somebody who was exactly like my mom.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

2.0 version of my mom.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

2.0, but also like 40 years younger.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

Yeah, 40 years younger. But that's because that's what he was comfortable with, and that's the pattern that he chose to repeat. But it was wild to see him not wanting to put because it takes effort. Like I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna sugarcoat that it takes effort and it's painful. It's a painful path to learn about yourself, your inner self, your higher self, and getting in touch with all of the challenges that you've had, the traumas that you've had, and letting all of that go. It's not easy. And I think as my dad started going through that process, he didn't like what he saw in himself. Yeah, and so he stopped. And then he just reverted back to the because the pattern's always there, and it's always gonna want to pull you back. And so it pulled him back, and sure enough, there he is.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Yeah, that work is otherwise known as shadow work, which I don't like that term because it gives it a false narrative. Like it's automatically shadow, everyone thinks it's dark magic or dark work. It's not, it's essentially dealing with your traumas, just like in Odyssey when he started unraveling everything. He was doing the shadow work. That's exactly what it was. It was a thousand percent. He was doing the shadow work. It takes a lot of effort, whether it's you going to a therapist, you doing your path exploration on your own, reading books, however, it happens, it's necessary for enlightenment and healing and getting in tune with your higher self and changing your outcome.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

And ultimately finding your path, because if you can, if you can do that, which is very difficult and very painful, and you come out of that. You come out of that smarter, you come out of that more confident, and you come out of that ready to move down that journey, not being afraid of what'll happen, because you're like, hey, whatever happens, it's totally fine. I I can handle this. I've handled myself and I can I dealt with all the darkest sides of myself, and I made it through that. I can make it through any of this stuff. Yeah. So, but and and this is why not a lot of people do it because they don't like to face themselves. And that's an intricate part of all of this. It's critical that that happens. But once you do, you can see everything in a much clearer way, and that's the direction that starts you on the path to be able to communicate with your higher self, the universe, God, whatever it is that you subscribe to and that you believe in. So don't be afraid.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

Don't be afraid. I may or may not be afraid. So I've done the therapy, I've done the therapy work. I like to make excuses that I'm too tired to do the spiritual work, but it is something that I do need to start transitioning to because I haven't done that piece. There's a lot of trauma that I still never shared with the therapist that I probably could explore in the shadow work or in connecting with my higher self and the traumas of my past. But I need to make the time to do it and not make excuses.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

I mean, yeah, because I mean there's always time. Whenever I would do it, it was basically, you know, before I went to bed. And I would go all the way back and start with, I started with my youngest self, like the the person that I can remember the youngest when I was like five years old. That was the youngest version of myself that I started with. And I had a conversation with myself.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

And I apologized to myself, and I did all of those things, and I cried, and I just kept moving forward, moving forward. And you realize that as you start going forward, you're like, damn, I forgot about that. All right, I need to explore that. And it just keeps going and it unlocks a lot of different things. But eventually you make it to the point where you're yourself now.

SPEAKER_00 35:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

At this point.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

When I went to the I'm not sure if he was a Gurandeto or a shaman or witch or whatever he was, but he was, he did hypnotherapy, right? Or hypnotic regression kind of thing. So I did that in Mexico, and it was literally like all he was doing was like drum work, right? And it got me into the trance that I needed to go into. And it took me back to a dark, I was in darkness, right? Complete darkness. And then all I saw was a hole, a circular hole, and light shining through it, and then a crease on the end. And then I was like, oh my God. He's like, What? And I was like, I'm in my closet.

SPEAKER_02 36:09

You're in the closet.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

I'm in the closet because the closet had like a little metal thing that was circular and it popped, it popped out all the time. So it was popped out. And it and I was in the closet, and I remember my mom always saying, Stop hiding in the closet. I remember her specifically telling me that all the time. I was hiding in the closet for protection. That's not the narrative that was out there. I was hiding in the closet for protection. So in this regression, I was like, oh my God, I'm in the closet. And it took me through that trauma that happened at that time. Me considering myself spoiled, unlovable, all the things, like to the point where like I see lace and it's crumpled up and dirty, and that I don't think I'm worthy of love or I'm unpure. And it was all this thing, you know, Catholic guilt and all the things combined together in life to give me that narrative of like you're damaged. And I I was personifying it, like that was my existence up to that point in time. So that was like an unbelievable experience that he attributed it to be being like similar to ayahuasca, but it was a hypnotherapy thing. And then the lace, like it crumpled up, it went in the air, and then it disintegrated and it turned into feathers that started falling on the ground, like really pretty white feathers. And then next thing I know, I see an Aztec or Zapotecan or whatever it was, an indigenous warrior with a full like head, headpiece, headpiece, and he was just like so strong. And I was like, whoa, where is this coming from? And I don't remember where it went from there, but it was just the like a fluid transition of all the things. It was really cool. I'd love to do it again.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

Yeah, I think there's something to be said for altered states, altering your state of consciousness to be able to experience these things. I think it's I think it's valuable and helpful into getting insights into something that you may or may not be able to do on a regular basis. But I think that there is something that's very deep and emotional about going in yourself when you're completely sober and you confront yourself and you confront all of those pieces of you. There's nothing like it, and it is hard, and you'll cry a lot.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

Oh, well yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:44

But but when you let go of the you'll let go of the energies, you'll let go of all those things, and you'll find, at least I found that a lot of it was, you know, trauma that was mother and father wound trauma. The the feelings that you said of unworthiness, of never never being good enough, of being tainted, of being a sinner, of all of these things that were put down on us, just being able to actually go to each version of you at that age where those things happen and listen to that person. And you're gonna find that, at least for me, I apologize to myself for letting all of those things happen, the things that happened to us. And I wish I would have been there to protect myself, right? Myself now.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

Right.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

But it's good to be able to let that be said and to listen to what they will say because they is you. Yeah, you will say a lot of things, and you'll need to hear those things to let go eventually, right? Because you'll find that you're still carrying a lot of energy for no reason. You're still holding on to it, and it just needs to be brought to light and let go.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

Right, right. One of the things that I thought was really cool, two things. One, I was crying, didn't even realize I was crying until I felt the tear trickle down onto my hand. The second thing that was really cool is the neighbor of this person, when this was happening, was playing the Beatles, and it was coming through the time, it was coming through the wall, like I could hear some of the music. And after the cloth turned into, or the the handkerchief or whatever it was, lace turned into feathers, all you need is love started to play. And he was like, That all you need is love, and he kept on like saying it over and over again as the music played, and I was like, That what a coincidence.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Yeah, and maybe this will be for another podcast, but I think love and figuring out what love actually is is part of the journey.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

I think it was self-love for me. That was my message at that time, is I needed to love myself.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

You can't love yourself, you can't love other somebody else if you don't love yourself. Correct. And then the other part is you some people just don't know how to love because they've never known it.

SPEAKER_00 41:01

Yes, yes, and I think that might be our debt.

SPEAKER_02 41:06

And our mom. And our mom.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Yeah, but that'll be another podcast because like when you talk about mother wounds, father wounds, like all of those things are a critical part of doing the work to help you connect with your with your inner self, your higher self to be able to help you fully on your journey. Because the journey is it's incredible, but there are there are things that you need to do in order to prepare yourself for that journey and to be able to handle the energies that come in from you opening yourself up more to what is out there in this vast universe. So cool. Yeah, and on that note, we'll leave you with that. So thank you guys for tuning in. I hope this was helpful for you guys, and we stay tuned for our next episode. At some point soon, we'll get to the vampire party.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Yes, and start doing your shadow work. It's worth it.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

Yeah, do the work, it's worth it. Do the work.

SPEAKER_00 41:59

All right, have a good night.

SPEAKER_02 42:01

Peace.