Explosive Diarrhea Is Spreading Across the Country and There's Nothing We Can Do About It | Episode 4

In this week’s episode we delve into listener emails, depression, a fart sound effects app, and the #1 American trend everybody’s talking about: explosive diarrhea parasites and the lettuce they call home

00:00 - 3:41 Intro, Sleep Podcast & Sound Fx
3:41 - 15:54 Depression & Explosive Diarrhea
15:55 - 1:05:37 Emmys and Listener Emails
1:05:37 - END Patreon and Bitchery

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hey gang, welcome to Forehead Corner. It's um your girl side part Thursday. This will come out on a Wednesday though. Um, and I don't know the date, but you'll when you're watching and seeing this, you'll hopefully know what day it is. I hope for your sake, you know what day it is. Um on this week's episode of the main podcast, which is this one, um, I'm gonna answer several listener emails, and then next week I'll get to the ones that I didn't do today. And um, and then I'm also gonna talk about some other stuff. God knows what. We don't we I don't know. I do want to say, get this out at the beginning because I realize some people do use this to fall asleep too. So I I love sound effects stuff, but I was just thinking right before we started recording, like it's probably not good to do it in the middle of the podcast because if you're asleep, it'll wake you up. But this is one of my faves. Got him off TikTok, Mini Airhorn. Also got this guy off TikTok. My dog hates this for some reason. And then I also bought, as as per the request of the second email I ever got from a listener, um, I did buy a fart sound effect toy off of TikTok, and I got it, and it's absolute garbage. And so right before the podcast today, I downloaded a free app that makes fart noises, and I'm gonna be honest, some of it is a little too real sounding in a way that made me um a little nauseous. But the this here's just a couple samples. There's like there's a bunch of them, they're numbered, but here's number one, which is like your standard, and then number four. I find that really funny. Um, I think I I'm gonna hit number two, and I think it's one of the ones that's upsetting. Uh yeah, so I'm gonna I don't know again, unless it comes up in the beginning of the podcast, I don't know what I don't know what good these things are gonna do me, because I d honestly I don't want to startle anybody awake in the middle of the podcast if they're using it to relax, but we'll see how it goes. Maybe for the Patreon, I'll use more of the sound effects. Maybe that's what we'll do is we'll say the free main episode that comes out every Wednesday. That is for people who want to fall asleep to it. Um and and may and maybe not everybody does, but out of respect for those people, this doesn't make any sense. I'm abandoning that idea. All right, let me get to my printed out agenda for today. Um some of it is not super fun. Let me just fighting me with my water bottle. Um, I just I need to I'm gonna start, I'm gonna address something up top. Don't please don't panic and please don't abandon ship because I'm gonna get to the emails shortly. But I do want to say my GLP one that I'm on, um, on the highest dose I was on, which I'm one one dose lower now, the highest dose, it seems that it did interfere with my antidepressants effectiveness. And then the lower dose I'm on now is still not alleviating that. So I am experiencing a return of clinical depression. There's also circumstantial stuff that is adding to that. But um that I do get emails from people dealing with depression, and I I just want to share a little bit of my experience in the hope that it's helpful. I want to say as strongly as I can, do not take advice from any anybody on the internet, including me. Do not take advice. You can use my experience as something that you could relate to and hopefully um feel some uh hope from, but please don't use it as having any kind of advice for how you should deal if you're dealing with depression, don't take anything I say as advice because you it really is a uh it's something that requires intervention from professionals. So I'll I'll just say this the fact that it has recurred, um, is not I'm not happy about it. However, because I've had so much experience with it since I was 13 and I'm 58 now, I do recognize what it is, so I'm not being uh my mind is not um is not succeeding at tricking me into thinking everything's hopeless. Not tricking. That is a but I mean like depression clinical depression can um can your mind can convince you because of brain chemistry stuff can convince you that everything's bad and everything's hopeless and why keep trying. And medication can absolutely remedy that. Um, it is tricky business. Anyone who's on antidepressants knows it's hard to be a guinea pig when you're already depressed, but there is no other way to find the effective medication other than trial and error. Doctors, the best psychiatrists out there, they don't know what's gonna work for you because everyone reacts differently. So, like I'm on one called Cymbalta. When I was in my mid-20s, I tried one called Zoloft, which is great for a lot of people. I was on it for one day and I felt like I was having a bad acid trip and I couldn't tolerate it and stopped taking it after one day. Um, well, but helps a lot of people. The last time I tried it, it gave me huge anxiety and then paranoia. I was on one called Abilify that gave me, um, sorry, I just gurgled. And just a quick detour. There is some intestinal parasite going spreading around the country right now, in part because of cuts to the centers for disease control. The um the workforce that monitored this this particular parasite and also these types of things in general, foodborne illnesses, they were cut by doge. And now it's spreading. And I don't have it, but my stomach has been gurgling and a gurgle just came out of my throat. And as I've said before, I won't be, I will not be prosecuted for that. It is not illegal, it is a human function. However, I do think my body, because my eyes took in that information repeatedly on social media, people going, and I'm sorry, this is gross. There, it's like multiple people every day posting on social media saying, explosive diarrhea is spreading across the country, and there's nothing we can do about it. And um, I don't I'm not having those symptoms, but I think my stomach is gurgling because my body's saying, all right, let's get let me see if I can get some we can get some concern going without actually being sick. Concern from me, not from you. There was no point in me saying any of that, other than just to say explosive diarrhea is spreading across the country, and there's nothing we can do about it. And that seems to be um a popular thing to put out on the internet right now. Um, with depression, the abilify that I took, brain zaps, um, super unpleasant, felt like little electric shocks that would come out of nowhere, but especially happened when I was falling asleep. And then I started to have night terrors, and I had had them my whole life, but they were infrequent. On that medication, they became it got to a point where it was every night, and it was uh would happen over and over. So, again, not on that medication. If I got night terrors and woke up screaming, then it was it wouldn't happen again for months. On Abilify, I'd wake myself up screaming, fall back asleep, have another one, wake up screaming. It happened over and over, and I was having this sounds make me sound crazy. Please don't panic. I am I am under professional care, and I'm not clinically insane. This is just a scary thing that happened. Um, it gave me auditory and physical hallucinations when I was falling asleep. So I'd be dozing off. It was connected to the night terrors. I'd be dozing off at going to bed at night. I would feel something on my pillow or on my face, I would hear movement and there was nothing there. And this happened over and over. So I got off that shit. But no doubt there are people who are helped by abilify, or my doctor wouldn't have suggested it. So I forgot. Um, oh, when you're having depression, you have to go through trial and error. It's tough. But because I've been through it so many times, I'm not panicking, I'm not, I'm not in a um, I did cancel. We were gonna record on Tuesday, and I canceled because I was really um, really down, and um I'm still dealing with it, but it, but it's better today because I'm I know I'm addressing like I'm going I'm almost suddenly feeling like this is super self-indulgent, but my I'm going down yet another dose on my GLP1 in two weeks. And then if that doesn't help, then I'll address it with the antidepressant maybe going up. But I wanna, if this is helpful to anybody, and hopefully, especially any young people who've emailed me, my experience with depression when it happens is that it starts creeping in slowly in ways that I don't always recognize because it it could be something else. Like, for example, being tired um and not wanting to get up in the morning, it could just be because you're tired, or because I have to do something that day I don't want to do. Canceling plans, um, which I did twice this week, which is what partly what made me go, wait, this isn't this is looking like depression. Sometimes you cancel plans because you really do you don't want to do the thing, or you're really tired and you want to stay home, or you need to be alone. But coupled with other things, that is a sign for me. Um and the thing about the thing about depression is that it starts creeping in, little things don't always know is it depression or something else. Grief can there is depression as a part of grief, and there can be a thing of like, wait, am I grieving the person who's gone, or is this depression coming back? The the issue the dangerous thing about depression is that that period can go on. My experience is that period happens, and then the stepping in, if it'll feel like stepping into an empty elevator shaft, and all of a sudden it is a it is uh an emergency in a way. When I was younger, um I didn't understand that. So when it would go from is it happening or not, or little things struggling with to all of a sudden, you know, I don't want to be alive anymore level. Um by that time, my brain was completely successful at convincing me what it was saying was true. It wasn't clinical depression, it was just the truth of the world, it wasn't a distorted perspective, it was just the truth of being alive. And now I know that's not the case. I wanted to share it for any young people who have depression who have contacted me or might be listening, also any old people like myself, and not exclusive to young people, but I do worry more about the teenagers who listen because um you're too young to have had enough experience usually to know what's happening, and it it is a it can be scary. Um, but the reality is that it is something that is very effectively treated with medication. And when again, when I was younger, I was like, I know that medication could affect, maybe it could elevate a feeling of sadness, but it can't change my thoughts, just my brain chemistry. And I but I have found out from experience that that isn't true. So on the right medication, it's not like I never feel sad or never struggle, but my mind doesn't start telling me everything's terrible, and that that is the medication. So please, if you're struggling with depression, take what I've said as meant to help you understand that you're not alone and that there's hope. Do not take anything I ever say as advice or or um prescriptive of what's gonna help you, because you really do have to get individual help. And a lot of people said, Could you please go on the most boring rant of all time to start this week's podcast? And I said, You got it, and that's what I did. So you're welcome to the many people, the millions of people in my DMs who said, What about doing like an after-school special style? Uh just talk about depression. No, nobody wants to hear about that. And I said, I'm happy to do it. Um I will say, if this cheers you up at all, I am I think I'm gonna do a lot of shit talking. I just whistled with my with my S on that. I think I'm gonna do a lot of shit talking on the Patreon. Is that is that a good vibe? No, but is it more fun than talking about depression? Yes. Okay, so let's get into some emails, guys. Wait, before that. I do want to say um congratulations to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. I it would have meant more to me to get to go to her wedding than if I had gotten nominated for an Emmy, which I didn't, and they can't the nominations came out yesterday. And this is a gross thing to say, but I'm gonna say it. Um, I was nominated for an Emmy in 2022, did not feel I deserved it, don't feel like I deserve it now. Still was checking the nominations as they came out moment to moment yesterday morning, hoping I was on it while also knowing if I was, I wouldn't enjoy it. I did not enjoy the um process of being an Emmy nominee because I was in a category with people who were much better at acting. And also I don't I don't think you should I'm not gonna go on. I'll just say this. The fun part was that my niece went with me to the ceremony. I sat with a bunch of really nice actors um at a table with a bunch of really sweet actors. It was super fun that they were they were um more accomplished than me, and their attitude swept the table, which is we're all in this together and we're rooting for each other, even though I had just met them. So that was super fun. I will say that as they announced the awards that night, and this was the um like the daytime Emmy Awards, so it wasn't the broadcast one. Um as they got around the table announcing each person's category and each of us lost, that by the time I got to my category and I lost, and I was filled with dread at the thought of them saying my name when they opened the envelope and was let down when they didn't. When that spread around the table, it was like it is actually more fun to win. I had thought, um, it doesn't matter, who cares? This is I would be mortified if I won because I'm not better than the other people. And then when it the the feeling, the vibes that went around the table of oh shit, we all lost, except for Coleman Domingo from Euphoria. He won, he gave a beautiful speech, he was a lovely person to have at the table, and uh a lovely seems like uh an incredibly lovely person in real life. Anyway, I didn't like being a nominee. I also don't like not being nominated, so Hollywood, you need to figure it out. Um okay. So let's get to some emails. I pr I um copied and pasted eight into these pages of award document, which is a lot of effort, a lot more effort than I have put into previous episodes, and you deserve it. If you're listening to this or sleeping through it, or you hit play and left the house, as I have openly encouraged people to do, you still deserve a lot more effort than I've been giving. So this is the first rung on a ladder of me climbing up to a rooftop of a high effort podcast. I will not be jumping off the rooftop. However, I will say one other thing about euphoria. This is a spoiler for the finale of season three. Do not listen if you haven't seen it and are planning to see it. I'm gonna say what happened with my character. My character jumps off a roof and um, you know, uh well, she hangs herself. Um which is not funny at all. But I got to be on a wire where they put you put this vest on that has like leg holes, so it's actually more of a jumpsuit. Your legs go in it, your arms go through it, it's like super tight belts around it to fully secure it, and it's has wires attached to the back. Those wires go up to a crane that then can move you around like a puppet. So fun. I didn't do the jump, the stunt. Uh Lisa Dempsey, my stunt double, did that. She did the running across the roof and the jump over the roof. But then for close-ups of Lori's face, they slowly lowered me down. And that when I say for this podcast, I'm climbing rungs of a ladder to get up to the roof. I would love it if once I'm on the roof, I could be on a wire and just fly around like a witch. And that also reminds me, I am gonna talk a little bit about AA and how when I left my home group of 20 years, for months I fantasized about finding somebody who had built a flying broomstick. Like, you know, Red Bull has those kind of like festivals where people build build weird go kart slash flying machines, and um mostly they don't work. I thought surely someone must have tried if we have jetpack. And they also have those things that go in the water, which are fun if you look them up on TikTok. It's like a little platform. There's a professional standing on it. You step onto it, and then it just they so they control it and it just goes up into the air. Anyway, get me a flying broomstick so I can go put it on a witch's costume and fly over the the building that my old group used to meet in, still meets him. And for this podcast, anyway, I've this is uh I'm done with that tangent. I didn't conclude it, I didn't put a button on it. I can't. Okay, the first um email is from Casey. So I'm not giving any identifying, no last names. And it's um in Louis's Louis Anderson's book, he um Louis Anderson for Baskets, he mentioned wanting and even pitching a spinoff where Martha and Christine go on a road trip, would you have done this? Absolutely, I would have done that. Excuse me, I would um my first preference would never be to have done that show without Zach Galifanakis. Um he uh partly it's like if the ratings when Zach was on it were not good enough to give it a fifth season, why would removing him, how would that result in a more successful show? But of course I would if it was an option, of course I would have done it. Louis was so funny, um, and I would have definitely done it. I also loved to work and I loved working uh for FX. They were really um, they were great to me. And um, but I would have uh I was I'm skeptical that a show without Zach and just the other characters would have done well. I think my skepticism is warranted because he pitched it and it did not get greenlit. I also just would have missed working with Zach because he uh I just um one time during the last season we were shooting a scene at a at a Chinese restaurant and sitting around a table, all the characters and my characters sitting next to Chi Z Zach Chip's character. I mean Zach's character, Chip. And then a couple of days later I was in therapy talking about how fun it was and just said, and still believe there is no place in the world more fun than sitting next to Zach Galifinakis shooting his TV show because he improvs during takes and it's always funny. He's totally relaxed and easy to be around, and um no ego and really fun making you laugh between takes and anyway. So I would be I would be sad to do something without him, but of course I would have done it. Um, and then uh what was Louis like? Was he as fan as fantastic as he seemed? Um he was unbelievably funny, he made um more he made everybody break and have to cut, including the director. Like Louis constantly improved, and um if he just did his lines as written, it was brilliantly funny. He made every every line that he had super funny, but he also constantly threw in extra jokes, and and luckily for me, Zach and our director John Chrysler would break out laughing. Um so that then I if I did, I wasn't the one causing them to have to cut cut and restart the scene because I was constantly laughing. Louis was super funny, um also really great at being vulnerable on camera, and um also had a vulnerability off camera that was um my heart went out to him. I think I also think he was in an enormous amount of physical pain most of the time. Um and so um I think that it that um the long hours on like for me working on a TV show or a movie, even if it's not ideal conditions, like you're outside and it's hot or whatever, it's millions of miles better than any real job I've ever had and easy compared to any other kind of job I've ever had. But if I was in physical pain, I could see how like a 12 to 14 hour day where you're either standing or sitting in a folding chair um could be very difficult. Also, if when you're in pain, um that is exhausting. That by itself makes you tired all the time because your body's having to deal with the stress of feeling pain. So um it is um I wish that he hadn't been, and I wish that he had had good health and felt good um and not passed away uh when he did. Um that was uh I was very surprised when I found out he that he was in the hospital. Um so um, and I think someone else asked um on a similar note, what was my favorite memory of Louie on set and were we friendly outside of work? And that's from Tom. So um one of my favorite memories of Louis is from The Pilot. There's a scene where he's talking, um, Chip and Martha, my character, Zach and my characters, have gone to his mom's house to ask for money, and we're all in the kitchen, and Louis, as Christine Baskets, Chip's mom, is just talking about Chip and being funny and a little mean to Chip. And then just, I think spontaneously, Louie decided to take a big drink of a Costco um not mineral water, like vitamin water. I think he was just improving and like, well, I'm gonna say my line and then take a drink. And he took a big drink and then he um it went down the wrong pipe and he spit it out and started coughing, and they kept it in, but um um he spit it out coughing and then they got enough of it to keep it in before everybody started laughing. Um also my another favorite is when um it's the end of season one, and um Christine has been in the hospital, has diabetes, has to take insulin. There's a bit all the family has gathered the day she comes home from the hospital, and um, and then the one of the granddaughters gives Christine her insulin shot. And this scene, there was like 10 people in it, and um I was everybody was staged like on the couch or around it, except for me, maybe one other person behind the couch, but still within the camera, the shot. And um when when he got the shot, obviously didn't really get a shot, but had to make a noise like it, he let out this loud sound that was almost like a like a goat yelling or a lamb yelling. And it startled me and made me laugh. So I'd had to, I turned my back to the camera and I doubled over. I was laughing so hard. Um, and they eventually they they caught, but there you there's a the way they edited it. I've watched it. You can tell you have to watch it and hear the noise Louie makes because it will make you laugh, but you can also tell that I'm in the background of the shot instantly turn away because I couldn't stop laughing. I don't know if that was interesting to anybody. And we were friendly outside of work. Um, and he one time he said I was like a feral cat. And I I don't think he was wrong. He said, You are uh but this was years ago. This was like 2016, 10 years ago, and he is coming to do a show in Austin and had asked me to open for him, which was fun. And we were talking on the phone, and he said, um, I'm the I was like a feral cat because I would be friendly and then pull back. Um and he was right. Anyway, I don't know if that's interesting either. Tom, sorry if that wasn't okay. The second email, okay, I'm just checking the time. Um is um can we get an official subreddit for after discussions? They look like R slash topic, and that is from Sarah. And Sarah, I will create a Reddit account. Is that a good idea though for me to I guess I should just write. Why am I looking looking into the light instead of the camera? Okay, I promise we're only on the bottom rung of the ladder, guys. It's gonna keep, we're gonna build. Um I guess I should write back to you individually, Sarah, because I would love it if you all had a subreddit to discuss this podcast. I also knowing what I know about Reddit, I know that people love to shit talk on there. I love shit talking and I love reading shit talk with one exception, which is I don't want to hear it about myself. I don't want to read it. And I think if I I don't have an account, I always just look at Reddit on um, you know, if it's like you can continue, continue in your browser or open the app. I don't have the app. Um, but I I think if I created an account and the subreddit, then I would maybe people wouldn't be honest because I they'd be like, well, this is the person we're talking about is reading this. And also then I would be prone to read it. And that is an imitation to get your feelings hurt. One thing I've learned from everybody I've heard talk about Reddit is if you do anything like stand-up or podcasts or social media influencers or actors, you don't want you do not want to know what people are saying about you on Reddit. Um, but I'll message you back and like can anybody create a sub subreddit? I don't know. Okay. Um the next question is from uh Danica. Um, and it's uh was it hard to portray a character so heavily involved in the drug world on Euphoria? And if so, were there resources available for that sort of thing? Um so um it wasn't it it that part of it wasn't hard. Um and in season three, the last season, none of it was hard. Season two, what was hard is that uh was playing someone who was harmful to kids and creepy and predatory with Rue Zendea's character. And the set for Lori on season two um was on the I think we were on the Warner Brothers lot. And it was um, no, we weren't. We were on somewhere else. Um another gurgle. It's like it's like my my some part of my body is separate from me and has decided to try and break into show business by making as many gurgles as possible. Um but the wherever we were, the sound stage we were on, that house that was supposed to be Lori's house was really dark and creepy and like uh reminded me kind of of a house that um like a middle school friend of mine had where her parents were alcoholics, heavy smokers, the vibes were awful, and um and it wasn't clean and uh and so uh that Lori's house reminded me of that in season two, and so that was hard. But the the substance abuse stuff, the drug world stuff, I've been sober for um 22 years coming up on 23 in December, and I don't take it for granted. Um, like I don't I don't assume I will never feel an urge to drink or get high again. Um it's still something I take really seriously, but I don't have any desire to get drunk or high, and and uh being on that show didn't definitely didn't stir any of that up. I think if I were around drinking, if I were doing stand-up and in bars and being around drinking a lot, that might be hard. Not hard in the sense that I would be afraid that I would drink, but it would make me uncomfortable. Um, and I don't know as far as were their resources, like if anyone else was having a hard time. Um I don't know because I didn't ask because I wasn't having a hard time, but I will say um Sam Levinson is very public about being sober, and um I think that um there are uh you know, there there were many people involved in the production in the cast and the crew who are sober and care about other people's sobriety. And I d I know that Sam definitely um did a lot as much as he could to help Angus um get sober and stay sober. So it it was not an environment that to me seemed like it would make anyone feel like, oh my god, we're talking about drugs so much and uh that and pretending to handle drugs and all that, um, that that's gonna make me want to get high. I my guess for someone like Angus, who I didn't personally know, um, is that instant the instant fame that he experienced was probably a huge amount of pressure and stress. And it isn't like you can it isn't like you can say, well, you shouldn't he shouldn't be in that position because he he's an addict. Like you can't you can't know that kind of thing until you have you also like there are pe it could have just as easily gone an another way. There are people who have addiction problems who when they get a really good job, which is what acting is, and they have some financial stability, it helps them stay sober. And so um it is really a heartbreaking loss. And I know that's not what you asked about, but of course that's who I think about because of um losing losing him. Um but anyway, um yeah, I didn't there wasn't any vibes on the set at all of people doing drugs or um any anything like that. Um okay, on to the next question. I feel like um starting with my after school special speech about depression and the way I'm answering all these questions, none of which are intended to be sad. I'll say this other thing though, just to to try and be again be helpful, honestly to myself and anyone paying attention. On another podcast that I was listening to this morning called Good Noticings, they were talking about the lady who by herself paddle boated from California, Montere, the Monterey Bay area to Hawaii. It was really recent. It was in the news, took her like less than 40, 44 and a half days by herself, no motor, no sail, just a little boat, and all of her getting there was paddling. Um, and someone asked her, like, how do you take care of your mental health when you're out by yourself for that long? And she said, um, the truth is I don't always take care of it. Sometimes I do get into a bad place, but you can't live your life trying to avoid the risk of getting into a bad place. And that I found very helpful because it you really can't live life trying to avoid the worst case scenario of every decision if it's not a likelihood, um, and if the potential gain from a decision is much greater than the risk of the worst case scenario. So, for example, the potential gain of having financial security and a um career in acting and you know, being lifted out of poverty and having there's a this blanket loves to spit out fuzz. Um lifted out of poverty and to have this fun career and to have your life now full of people who are not all using drugs, that benefit of that is worth the risk of well, what what if I can't handle it and I relapse, you know? Um the uh I don't think that you can say, well, he shouldn't have you shouldn't do that, you shouldn't make that choice. Or like for that lady, it's like um setting a record by uh solo boating from California to Hawaii is worth the having some hard days in there where she her mental health was difficult. And I will say I always um I keep bringing it back to myself and the echoes of the way 12-step programs constantly tell you you're selfish and self-centered. It does get in my head when I this podcast is a lot of me talking about myself. But I will say starting this podcast did in some ways um set make me make me want to die. Listen, I'm not saying it's right, and I'm and I'm not saying I currently want to die. I'm just saying this is a common thing with people who have long-term trauma, like starting from when you're young, is that when you do move forward and do something that you want really want to do, try something you really want to try, or something good happens to you. There's another part of your brain that learn to adapt to um difficult things happening by just believing there's always I'm just gonna be braced for something bad to always happen. And it's actually dangerous to feel good because that's going to trigger a corresponding bad thing. So that is a distorted perception of how the world works that a lot of people with long-term trauma have. Therapy has helped me a lot to deal with that. But I'm I was like, maybe I I was like, maybe I shouldn't have started the podcast, but then like maybe I should have waited till I wouldn't be affected this way. But then it's like I probably would be affected by it this way by uh no matter when I started it. And and Jason is another re and I'm sorry to talk about you like you're not like we're not the only two people in the room. But it has been really fun working with Jason. By the way, Jason Crow, casting director, loves working with creatives. I record my podcast. At his studio Sides and Sounds in Burbank, and it's great. Um, and they all he also does uh helps people with self-tape auditions and other creative endeavors. Um also the email for the podcast is um forehead cornerpod at gmail.com. I but I'm not sorry I started the podcast, and I'm not sorry, I'm not sorry I went on the GLP one because I didn't I had no way of knowing if it would interfere with my antidepressant, and there has been good that has come out of being on it. Um there's other examples I could give, but let's get back to the mail. Um do this is a tough one. And it's from Lauren. There's two Lauren's, but the first Lauren, do you have any advice for young women trying to start a new life or career without any support from family or older people? So this is tough because on the one hand, excuse me, um, again, I don't I don't think I'm not qualified to give anybody advice of any kind. I also don't believe you should take it literally take advice from anybody, especially not life coaches, um, self-help gurus, people online books don't. Um, but I can I can share, try to share helpful experience about that. Cause I've I've been in in some ways been in that position, in some ways not. So I always, when my parents were alive, I always had the financial safety nut of knowing that they would never let me end up on the street. I wasn't a trust fund kid. They did not have that kind of money. They were both public school educators. Um, and they were not the kind of parents who were like, I'll pay your rent while you try to become a stand-up comic. Um, but they were the kind of parents who, when I called and said, can you loan me money for rent? Yes, they would there would be a heavy amount of criticism and uh blame and uh some shame about me needing to ask them for help. They would always help me, though. They would never let me end up on the street, they let me move back in with them. It is a huge thing in life when you're a young person to have a safety net of a family who you know will step in and keep you from living outside. Um, but when it comes to emotional support, which is super important when especially when you're young, it's always important, but it's especially when you're young. Um not having that, I do have experience with. Um, and I will say finding a really good therapist was a huge help. There's a uh financial barrier to that for a lot of people. So let me try and think if there's another thing that could be helpful. I mean, finding peers, you know, if there's something that you really, a career that you're really wanting to do, um trying it and then meeting other people who are trying it can, and then having that peer group can be a huge source of oops, a huge source of emotional support, which is which really makes a difference. Like I when the first few times I did stand-up, I did it at the laugh factory, and there was no real community there at that time. This was in the mid-90s. It was like I made a couple friends, but it wasn't like close friends. I only saw them that one night a week, the open mic night. Um, it was there was no real support, and they weren't mean either, but it just was kind of like you were on your own, and there were people you'd say, Oh, I saw you last week, and people would tell each other, good set. But then when I started doing an open mic at a coffee shop a few years later, that community of stand-up comics were really enmeshed with each other socially, and that was a huge help because I all of a sudden, within a few weeks, I had a whole bunch of new friends. It was super fun, and everyone was encouraging each other to write new material all the time, which is so good for you when you're a new comic. It's really easy if you're going to a club open mic to develop a three-minute chunk, because that's all they give you, a three-minute chunk that kills, and no matter how hacky it is, and I that's throwing unnecessary shade, but you could get a three minutes that killed at a club open mic and then do that every week and keep showing up and then eventually get a guest spot from the club booker. Um, and that's and that could be all the material that you have. But going to a non-club open mic where there's a community of comics that are friends that are encouraging each other to write, mainly just by watching each other's sets and laughing at it, laughing at new material, wanting new material from each other, um, that is a huge benefit. But so again, made it about me. That's probably never gonna stop happening. Let's get real. You're free, you got, you've gotta give yourself the freedom to walk away from this podcast if that bothers you. I've I support you in that, in running, literally putting your phone down and running out your front door. Don't look back. Um and I guess I think like I guess practically speaking, if you're looking to change a career, um, looking into like financial aid in the form of grants and um that type of thing, student loans are I think treacherous. Um but there's sometimes there are a lot of grants out there that are there's a whole world of grant money that most people don't know about. And I think part of why it's such a well-kept secret is because the process to obtain a grant is very tedious. You have to do a ton of paperwork, you have to write a lot, and I personally would rather die ignorant without ever having graduated from college than apply for a single grant. However, that is a route. Um, and you also you can go online and look at look up grant applications and figure out look up grant applications, you can find them online if grants people have won and find like their application online as a sample and use that as a not copy it like plagiarize it, but as a um model for how to um if you're gonna move somewhere new and start over, I've been a big fan of that. Save money and get a job before you move there, if you can, because the first time I moved to Austin, Texas in the year 2000, I moved with like $500 and no job. And I went through a kind of a lot of panic, as you would imagine, for a little bit. Um, so I advise against doing that. Um, but but it can be really fun to move to a city you really like, and uh one of the things that made it easy was stand-up. That's how I met a bunch of people there. So if you're looking to start a life somewhere else, it helps to give yourself a little bit of a financial safety knot before you move. Don't just move there with um $500. And then also a way to uh particip, find a community that you are interested in being a part of to participate in, whether it is something creative or a hobby or something else. When I was in my 20s, I started volunteering at this place called the Wildlife Waste Station, which doesn't exist anymore for very valid reasons. But um because I was really lonely in in my mid-20s, I went through a couple years where I didn't have any social life at all. I did have a great relationship with many Reese's peanut butter cups, and great in the sense that um they were always in the drawer of my desk at work. And um, anytime I needed a little boost in the way that some people will go into the bathroom and do a little line of cocaine. And why am I so obsessed with cocaine? I talked about it last time too. I've never even gotten high off it, and it's the least appealing drug to me. Expensive, doesn't last very long, a lot of bad effects. But I imagine people who are addicted to it and love it go and take a bump in the bathroom. For me, I could just open my drawer and there's many Reese's peanut butter cups. Anyway, this place, the wildlife waste station, um, they had tigers, lions, they had some bears, they had a jaguar, they had mountain lions, they had wolves, they had some primates, which were the scariest. As scared as I am of big cats, and I am very scared, even more scared of um orangutans and chimpanzees at the wildlife waste station because they were rescued from places where they were being experimented on, so they were disturbed and they are extremely strong and smart. And when when we went to the training, when you sign up as a volunteer, they take you through all the safety stuff, and they were like, and just you know, be very careful with the chimpanzee enclosure because do not get anywhere near the enclosure because they will beckon you over by acting friendly, and then when you get close, they will uh reach through and rip part of your face off. And that had happened to someone there. Um, a tiger is not going to try and convince you it wants to be friends, it is simply going to go from I'm just a uh tiger in captivity who's well fed and not looking to bother anyone to just eating you. They want, but they're not trying to trick you. Um, but because of the way that place was run, uh, they were shut down because it was not safe. They would walk this one tiger named Drifter, they would walk him around the the compound um with a chain leash, and like there were, you know. Was there a high likelihood that he was going to kill somebody? No, because he was he had been raised in captivity and um he was being treated well and he was well fed. There is never a 0% chance, and you're not gonna hold him. That chain's not gonna hold him if he sees someone and decides to anyway. I don't know why I'm mad about it. This was 30 years ago. Um, but anyway, I just went there because I'd heard volunteering was a great pl great way to make friends, and um, I didn't make a single friend at that fucking place. And in fact, was remembering last night because I was watching Succession, and there's a scene where they eat an illegal delicacy, which is a deep fried entire little songbird at this fancy restaurant. And it made me remember when I was going to the wildlife waste station working in the baby animal trailers, they would always the animals would always be dying. You know why? Because in nature, baby animals like birds and rodents, they die when they're babies all the time. They're fragile. Life is fragile. Every time an animal would die, and the last time I went, a little bird I was about to feed died in my hands, and I started crying, and I just stood there crying. Everyone else is like feeding animals, cleaning cages, doing dishes, and I'm standing there incapacitated with grief for this. I'm sorry to say, but fuck ass bird. I didn't know this bird. And also, you know how many birds, baby birds die in the water? There's birds dying right now as I'm talking. And every moment of every day, somebody's dying. And I just stood there crying, feeling like, well, nobody should die alone, and it's whatever. And then it just came into my head like, what are you doing here? Who is this helping? You're not this is this is dumb. And I stopped going, okay. Um, Lauren, and I'm sorry I don't, but you know what? I'll write back to your email individually. And if you want to ask me, if you want to tell me any more specifics about what you're hoping to do, I can I can try to be more helpful. But you also don't have to tell me again. I'm not I'm not a therapist, I'm not a trained professional. I am a borderline dipshit. Um next question. Oh, oh, okay. I'm gonna skip that one for now. Um, next question from the other Lauren. Have you gone on the storm chasing trip yet? And if not, have you ever been in a really bad storm before? Um, have didn't go on the storm chasing trip, might go next year. They let me defer the trip because I was having a ton of anxiety. Um I have been in some bad storms. I've never been in one where I was legit thought I was about to see a tornado, which is really what I want to experience. Um, I have dreams about tornadoes, about being inside a building and looking at the windows and just seeing tornadoes forming and coming up to the building. Um, and they're exciting dreams. Um I love thunderstorms. I can't think of a notable one that I've been in. I will say though, when I was a road comic in 2002 and 2003, there was a bad thunderstorm on my way to get to this club in Wisconsin that I was supposed to work at. However, this is in my heavy drinking days. I had drank way too much the night before, slept into, slept till like noon, was supposed to do a show that night, was driving to the club from Oklahoma. No way was I gonna make it. And then hit a thunderstorm, and then I just I called the club owner and I said, There's a tornado warning. Um, I can't make it. I'm stuck in a I'm stuck two hours away, having to shelter in place because of a tornado warning. Now that wasn't true. Um, it was raining hard and it was a little scary to drive on the highway. Um, my dog was with me. I was so broke, and I sat, I I didn't have enough money to buy uh dinner. So I just pulled into a Burger King or a Wendy's parking lot and sat in my car and sobbed with how awful my life was. At that time, not being able to make the connection between how much I was drinking and how broke I was and how much my life sucked. Um sitting in my car sobbing, seeing my dog's face in the rear view mirror, feeling bad for him, then looking up and seeing there were people sitting in a booth right by the mostly window. Uh the wall of this fast food place was mostly window, and there was a booth right on it, and there were people sitting there who could see me sitting in my car crying dramatically. Um, this is from my friend Jimmy Jam. Uh Martha, over the years you have mentioned artists here and there that you like, and I recently heard that you like Taylor Swift music. I would love to get the full picture of what gets your toes tapping. And are Alvin and the Chipmunks still a fave? Yes, I still love Alvin and the Chipmunks. I don't listen to the songs, the albums as much as I used to. Um and I'm sorry I keep having to burp. I swear to God, I've not I've not eaten in the past two hours, and I haven't I'm haven't had any carbonated drinks. Um again, I think it's my body saying, I heard there's a parasite going around. Let me see if I can drum up a little attention by pretending I'm coming down with something. That's my body talking, not me. Um I have no I have as little to do with my body as I possibly can. It's not my business. You guys take care of it, is how I feel about the different organs and systems in my body. Um I do love Taylor Swift. I also love Somber. And then I've gotten little glimpses of people, I think Gen Z, um, who think it's corny to love Somber. I'm sure because of my age they think it is, but I fucking love him. Um when I asked my niece, do you know who Somber is? The way that she said yeah, I know who that is. I was like, oh you don't think that's cool. Um Jamie, I need to think about this more because mo like uh most of the songs that I listen to, um I do still listen to a ton of Taylor Swift, but I like a lot of other stuff. I also love One Direction. Um I also love a lot of 90s RB and hip hop. I love some country. Um much of it has been spoiled by finding out how many country artists are MAGA, but there's still a lot that aren't. Um sorry about that. Let me think about it. Um, okay. I don't, I think it's been like 45 minutes, right?

unknown 1:03:50

Oh, it's been over an hour.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:51

What? Oh my god. Okay, let me okay, let me say this. Uh, and then I'm gonna um we're gonna wrap it up and then I'm gonna re- record the Patreon. Um so uh a young guy named Jaden sent me an email asking about grief. And so, Jayden, I'm actually gonna write you back rather than talk about it because I've already talked about a lot of heavy stuff, and I actually don't think that it would be great to also go into the topic of grief. So I'm gonna write back to you about my experiences with it. I will just say um that grief is something that everyone will eventually experience. I'm sorry about your experience with it. You're awfully young to have gone through what you've gone through. Um, it is very normal to have it. Uh grief is not something that ever is just gone. It's not something you get over, but it does get you're you you do get back to a point where you're able to feel like you're fully living again, experiencing joy and fun. In the early time stages of grief, it will be like it feels like you're in a different world. Um, and your question about is it normal that it sometimes, even if it's been years, if it comes up, all of a sudden it overtakes you again, that is very normal. But I'm gonna write back to you personally. Um just because I'm not wanting to go into it into detail right now. Because I yapped too much about a bunch of other shit. Um, I will say for the Patreon this week, I am I am going to talk about um, I mean, I I am gonna talk some real shit about uh 12-step programs and my old group in particular, and I know that um they're not gonna listen and uh because they're none of them would pay money. Well, let me no no, I don't want to end on that butchery. Let me end on this butchery. There are lots of people who are still in my old home group that I love dearly and have no beef with. There are people in other 12-step programs I was in that I love and wish them well. It's the system that I don't like. And then there's a small handful of treacherous hoes that I'm gonna talk about. Anyway, I wish I had thought of a um and I didn't realize it was over an hour. I guess um that's one way to end, and that's okay. Why are so many of them gross? Let's number four is the best one, which is this one. Wait, what are you doing? What is oh my god, there's an ad playing for Calchi. Well, because it's a free app. Let me get back to the this is a terrible way to end. Oh, let me let me okay. I'm not all right, let me just I'm sorry guys, this isn't a great way to this is not a I really this is yet another Alright, well we're just on the bottom rung of the ladder. It's gonna get better. I'm gonna start reading books and talking about them. Okay, thanks for listening, everybody.