Who Told Us This Is Success? (Understanding the lie we've been sold)

In this episode of Black And Muted, Cee, Dillz, and Shanice unpack the idea of success, who defined it for us, and whether that definition still fits. From society's pressures to personal milestones, they share honest reflections on what success means to them now.Sometimes messy, often evolving, always personal.

Transcript

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Welcome to another episode of the Black and Muted podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

And today I'm joined with my lovely co-hosts, C and Shanice. And we are going to be talking about who told us that this is success, understanding the lie we've been sold. Blink blink blink blink. So who told us that this is success, guys? Who told us?

SPEAKER_06 0:48

There's so many layers too.

SPEAKER_05 0:49

Yeah, like really what kind of success are we talking about?

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 0:53

I think success is really what you make it. I feel successful in my life right now. Would someone else define it as success? I don't know, but I don't care.

SPEAKER_06 1:05

Exactly. But you mean by society standards.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Yeah, you know the money, the cars, the clothes.

SPEAKER_05 1:13

I mean success to an extent. Isn't it?

SPEAKER_07 1:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:18

But even at that, like if you listen to a lot of millionaires or billionaires, I I have a thing of tuning into these things on YouTube a lot of the time, just hearing their perspectives on life. And you find that even for them, it's not about the material gain. The gain is a blessing, but it's more so about what they can do with the amount that they have. And not just their own freedom, but they're feeding other families. They're helping other people gain success. And do you know what I mean? Like I feel like it depends on how your mind is set up. But yeah, because I guess the lie we were told is that everyone could generically go to school become a doctor or a lawyer or anything that would economically be of value and then work nine to five. Yeah. And that would be successful. But even those people then realize unless you're working from a place of passion or doing something where your heart is like feeling fulfilled in your spirit, you're not gonna feel like you're successful and you will have everything. Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 2:27

100%.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

I feel like it's fun. You know, it's actually interesting that this topic come up because I feel like the conversation we were having off air earlier, like I feel like it's a bit similar to that. What I'm saying, or let me just say that, you know, in a sense of like what's successful to another man or another woman might not be successful to you. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. So, you know, like for instance, someone, you know, Jane might go on to become a doctor, you know. But Jane might have not wanted to actually be a doctor, but her family may have just kind of just she might become in a family of doctors, and that's just kind of just you know what they just expected. That might have not been her thing. So to say what you said, in the eyes of someone else, she's a that doctor, she's but for her, she doesn't really see that as success because it's not what her heart wanted.

SPEAKER_05 3:15

It's it's not what her heart wanted.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

It's the whole family full of it, it's just kind of the norm. So it's again what is what is success, what is success. Do you get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05 3:26

And I guess we're breaking out of that paradigm, innit, of thinking that that like only those careers make you successful. We're realizing there's success in art, there's success in creativity, there's success in charity, there's success in just doing things that are within wellness, even. Do you know what I mean? So it's like I think we're definitely shifting as a collective towards how we then navigate where to point success, but then we do have the majority still that maybe have an eye on success being very linear. Yeah, absolutely. But that is them problem, you know.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Nowadays, to some people, once you've got a blue tick, you're successful. Do you get what I'm trying to say? Like, it's like it's but you can buy a bit. Yeah, yeah, but you know, but I hate you, but again, do you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05 4:10

Like, it's just and even that, you know what? Then even the fact that someone can achieve that could be success for them. Yeah, because it's it's something that they've accomplished, and I think taking success in small doses also is very important. Yeah, I feel successful today. I managed to get through my workout, you know. I mean, like that's a huge thing for me.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

Yeah, whereas like it's the little things that's the small gains, it's the small wins sometimes. Yeah, you have to you have to be grateful for the small wins, as much as the biggest.

SPEAKER_06 4:41

Yeah, this is like social media, that's how you get your high in it, the likes apparently. So it's exactly the same thing for your life. If you if you you may have a big bulk, but if you cut it down into pieces and then see it as a goal, do you know what I'm saying? It's so much easier to digest. And yeah, I feel like like talking about success as well with social media, there's lots of people out there that are not living their real life to look successful or to have these society goals but it's not real.

SPEAKER_05 5:16

So we have AI. Making up imagery now, you know. Yeah. I think um I will stick to the fact that you have to do what your heart, mind, and and soul have come here to do to really feel like success.

SPEAKER_06 5:34

For me personally, but would you guys say that for you your idea of success is actually individually being happy and and that means not hearing the things not hearing what people expect of me or do you know what I mean? Or and having expectations of other people as well. Do you know what I'm saying? Because it goes both ways. But um but yeah, I think um just being happy whatever on my however on my journey, wherever it turns, because life changes all the time for me. Do you know what I was saying to you? Um my happiness doesn't always stay in one place, you know. So once I achieve something, I can yeah. Yeah. So um yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:21

I love that for you.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

Um it's it's mad, you know, because you see for me, it's a like my my mind is mad. I would think mad in it. You see, for me, like when I'm looking when I'm thinking of success, I'm more looking at the actual meaning in it. So what is success? Like success is when you start something and you finish something. For me, that's simple as that is successful. If I start something and I finish it, that's successful because I aimed to finish whatever it was and I got it done.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

How it got done the journey, you know what I'm trying to say?

SPEAKER_02 7:01

But I got done that to be a success, and again, like for that with my life at the moment, with things that are going on. Again, like I said before, I have to look at the small wins, and then it's like well, man was in just in a weird space where I was just thinking to myself, things just ain't going right, like one thing just happened after another, it's mad. Like, do you get what I say? It's like it's just bare badness is going on right now. I'm just thinking to myself, it's going off. Like, do you get what I try to say? Like, like it got to a point where I was thinking to myself, you know what, I actually I understand because before I was very ignorant, like when it comes to like mental health and things like that, I was very like a bit like where I'm kind of more from an area where that stuff's kind of taboo, so I'm a little bit more like but I'm not gonna lie, you see now, I understand like how people lose their mind. That I understand like you see if you're not see this life that we're living right now, if you're not mentally strong, yeah, you're done. You're actually done. And it's not even your it's not even like it's not even your fault, it's out of your hands. Do you get what I'm trying to say? You have to be strong-minded in this this world. And I say that to say, like, but we got to a point where I just think to myself, bro, like nothing's happening, like, nothing's just like bare, bad things are just happening one after the other. It was mad. Like, and I'm a I'm not a person that I don't really believe in that, because in my life, I don't I've I haven't really, I'm not really the lucky type. Do you know what I'm trying to say? I'll be the one that everything will be going smooth, and the one day that I get involved, it messes up. That's me. So I've never counted on that. But when things are happening to you consistently, consecutively, you've got to think to yourself, nah man, I'm in a weird space. But then I had to say to myself, you know what? With all this madness that's going on, I have to be grateful for certain things, you know. I have to be grateful for life, number one. Number one. The fact I've even woken up and I'm even I even have issues, there's people that are dead or not here. And I'm pretty sure if they're looking over us, I'm pretty sure they would love to be in our position, having problems on in real life, but they're wherever they are in it, whether it be a better blaze or not. But the point I'm making is that I had to kind of look at the things that I do have. Okay, cool. Whatever I'm going through, I've still managed to have my career. So I've still got my job working full-time. So a lot of people like there's people out there that aren't working, struggling to find jobs right now. They would love to be in a position where they could be working and they're not. So I had to kind of start looking at the things that I have got going for myself and just say, you know what? In everything mad that's going on right now, let me focus on the things that are working well, let me try and focus on them, and let me try and get back into a positive space. So I had to start looking at the small W's, let me focus on the small wins. So even if I'm only chopping chomping away and it's 2% here, 2% there, 2% here, it all adds up. Do you get what I'm saying? And just switch the mindset.

SPEAKER_05 9:46

Yeah, I respect that. Switch the mindset. Yeah, it's just like. Because I think for a lot of people, there's not an example a lot of the time of how it looks be mentally strong. Yeah. And for me, sometimes I would say it's it is still being vulnerable. You know what I mean? It's acknowledging everything, but still overstanding, like, like you said, there's even like I should be grateful for even the small thing. One small thing grows into a huge thing, you know? So um, yeah, no, I respect that a lot for real. Yeah, positive mindset.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Yeah, definitely, man. You just gotta just, yeah, you just for me, the main thing, my main thing, whenever I'm speaking to people at the moment, especially where I'm at at the moment, and there's always whenever we're having a conversation, they're always gonna talk about this is going on, that's going on. The way I see it is the politics politics is politics, you know, and everything that you do, there's gotta be politics. Everything every day. If you don't like it, you're not gonna like it. Do you get what I'm saying? But if we sit down and just focus on all the bad and concentrate on just all the bad that's happening, all the things that's not happening, we're gonna go bored. We're gonna get it. We're gonna become part of it, we're gonna become ill, we're gonna become run down, we're gonna be mentally exhausted because we're just focusing on what's what about what is happening for us? We're neglecting the good because we're worrying too much on what's not happening. How about we neglect what's not happening? Maybe put that on the back burner for a little bit because it's not happening right now.

SPEAKER_07 11:20

May never happen.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

So it's just it's just dragging me down, it's just wasting energy. Let me focus on what is happening. Let me build, let me sustain, let me maintain, let me elevate here, and maybe that elevation will give me the motivation, will give me the energy, will build charisma, whatever it is to now face. That's just what it is. That's that's the that that's where I'm at at the moment, man. Do you get me? So, like, yeah, because I'm not gonna lie, there was a period like from COVID. I'm not gonna lie, it was a period I was thinking to myself, it's going off for me right now. Like, just like do you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_06 11:54

I think COVID time for so many people to know.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

But I actually felt like for me, I'm not gonna lie, it sounds mad, but I think I could do with another lockdown, you know. Yeah, now when I came out a lot of things, it's checking a lot of things because you couldn't do because a lot of things just couldn't happen just because it just couldn't happen. I could only really focus on what a lot is achieved in solitude, a lot is achieved in solitude, yeah. Even the shops not being open, even if you wanted to, you couldn't spend I I like your take because I felt the same way of lockdown.

SPEAKER_05 12:31

Lockdown for me was uh the b biggest blessing. Like I put down so many things and I didn't feel bad. I got made redundant, but still I was able to have time with my son, who was he was still like I think it was under one. You know what I mean? So it was like really nice to then actually have that time with him. And before that, he was in nursery, and I used to, it was like two sessions he went, and I remember feeling like very displaced both times, but not really knowing how to then navigate a way out of that cycle because I felt like I needed to work. So then when lockdown happened and I was made redundant, I was like, oh, a whole shift happened. Yeah, I was like, this is a huge blessing. I love that, it was a huge blessing. I loved that, yeah. Yeah, I feel you.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

I have to say, like for a lot of people, it may have whatever, but for me, it just gave me some grounding because there was just certain things I couldn't do, even the all the outside stopping and all of that stuff, and uh, it just limited certain things. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Things like that, enjoying your own space, enjoying your own little bubble, and that like just even getting to be with yourself. Like, I got to understand myself so much during that time. Do you know what I'm saying? And you don't really get time because when you're busy, yeah, yeah, out there doing too much time spent, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you know. Um, so but you know what?

SPEAKER_06 13:50

I think go on, sister. No, I was gonna say the important stuff become real then, do you know what I mean? It's true.

SPEAKER_05 13:56

But I was gonna say, you can always make your own lockdown. Now for real. You can you can always take yourself into it, like the last couple of weeks, I've literally been like very strict on where I'm putting my time and energy, as if it was a lockdown, you know what I mean? If I want to go, I'm going. If I don't want to go, I'm not going. Yeah, and that alone has helped to regain so much inner strength. Yeah. Whereas beforehand, when you're just scattered and you're doing so much, trying to be everywhere, doing everything, you're not aligned in. Been there as well. I've been there as well. I mean, naturally, as mothers as well. Yeah, we are always called beyond ourselves.

SPEAKER_06 14:31

That person that be like, if you need help, oh my god, you know, Celia to the rescue, do you know what I'm saying? But I've learned probably like the age of 38, the word no.

SPEAKER_05 14:42

My life has changed. I'm learning. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 14:45

Listen, girl, you better say no. Because when you say it once the same, there's no going back.

SPEAKER_05 14:50

Yeah, yeah, and it doesn't have to have an explanation a lot of time. But I'm learning self-care, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 14:55

Literally, that's what it that's where it came from because it was like, no, actually, I'm exhausted. But you know, let me just say no this time. Like, and it's valid, and it's valid, yeah. And it doesn't matter who you piss off because you have to pour into yourself first, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:11

Yeah, 100, 100%.

SPEAKER_06 15:13

But it's again, it's that mentality of half full, you know, like having the glass half full, or you know, what did it say? Half full, half empty. How do you see it? Do you know how perspective?

SPEAKER_05 15:24

We need to be in overflow now. The world's enough, yeah. Life is enough. Yes, yeah. I wanted to ask, yeah, because do you guys watch Rich House, Poor House? No. It's on Netflix. It's an old school series, though. Like it's been out for a long time.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

No, I think I've seen the title, but yeah, that wouldn't really be.

SPEAKER_05 15:44

Alright, well, one of the key points in this show is basically um seeing if money makes a difference. Because obviously for the families who are quote unquote poor, yeah, it's it's a lot tighter for them to just do certain things and you know I mean, so and so on and forth, so on and so forth. And for those who are more within like the 1% or 10% of the wealth divide, they're more fortunate enough in able to being able to spread out. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then it comes to the question of I feel like a lot of the time depending on your upbringing, you could have been blocked from wanting to accumulate. You know what I mean? Like seeing wealth as something that's negative, or seeing anything in regards to money as evil or bad, and then therefore not growing up with the will to even want to be successful, or being afraid of success. Yeah. Do you get what I mean? So I feel like I don't know, I feel like this is a conversation to have in this discussion because do you guys find that that you have any type of limitation or fears when it comes to your own personal success and what you'd want to achieve?

SPEAKER_06 17:18

I think when I was younger it meant more to be, but again, I feel like that was just more pressure from other people, like what they expected me to be. Do you know what I mean? Um but now I found out that that success doesn't mean what everybody else thinks it is. I'm quite content. Do you know what I mean? I'm content at the moment, but I feel like yeah, later on when I switch it back on, it's gonna be different. Just switch it back on. Switch it back on.

SPEAKER_05 17:51

Okay, I hear you, I hear you. But I guess also understandably, you're a mother, and I think as mothers we always want to be stable in every stage, so we have to take the time to carve out that stability and so on and so forth. Yeah, you know what I mean? So it's not it's not always about just to the next height, it's sometimes it's about actually I'm here, yeah, let me balance and then grow then. About yourself or even like do you feel like the environment maybe plays part in any limitation?

SPEAKER_02 18:29

The only limitation I have um I would probably say and it wouldn't have been back in the day it would be more so now. I would just say the only limitation I have is that little bit of fear of like time. I feel like there's certain things that the time isn't there, the time to make mistakes isn't there. I feel like I'm running out of time to make mistakes. Do you get what I'm saying? I'm curious. Like see when you're when you're younger, you like you can kind of you can be a bit more maverick, you can kind of be a little bit more kind of just like go through it. Just kind of just go through it, just get up and go. Like there gets to a point when you have like responsibility, you have things that like you have to like that that needs to be patterned, and you can't not really afford to just kind of take that risk because if things like mess up, it's gonna have a catastrophic domino effect. And that can sometimes, I feel like that sometimes puts a limitation on certain things because it's that kind of wanting to get it right and get it right first time, which I understand that in a lot of success stories you actually hear that right, it's never getting it right the first time, but that's what it's about. But you know, it's a lot of them people they were willing to take the risk and they were not they didn't have that fear factor there. Do you get what I'm trying to say? And that's the no, no, no, that's not always true. You get what I'm saying? Sometimes they they have fear, but they do it, even that, but even just the ability to you see me. I'm not I I'm too calculated, unfortunately. Yeah, and it might be a detriment to me, but for me, um whenever I'm doing something, I'm always calculating the risk factor. Is it even worth me even engaging in this? Is it even worth me? Where's the end game? Where does this lead to? How does this how does this benefit me? How does this benefit us?

SPEAKER_06 20:25

I don't have that fear.

SPEAKER_05 20:28

It's just not in me. Did you not say a no? And then after think about it, like, oh, I'm not mad about that. I don't I know it's no problem saying it. But at the same time, sometimes if I did calculate in that also mention you have a Capricorn sun and a Sagittarius rising, you're gonna have to learn to take the risk and be adventurous.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

That's not in my that is not in my nature. It's not me, is there? I'm too fine.

SPEAKER_05 20:56

It's your descendant, it's your ascendant, so you'll grow into embracing taking chances.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Listen, everything I do, I calculate it. For now, it's just I just I don't know. Like I'm I'm always looking at and it's not a bad thing either, to be honest. It's just gotta be where do I see this? I'm always looking at where what's the end game for this? And if it's not really a positive one, it doesn't really make no sense to me.

SPEAKER_05 21:19

But sometimes you can't see like that's only so far our human eye can see, you know what I mean, or even our spiritual mind. Yeah, it's only so far that we can see until we take a step, and then the journey starts to unravel, and then we start to see, oh, that's connected to this part, and that's connected to this part, and then that is true. You keep going and building, and then you learn you're gonna have to just let some wings, you know what I mean? Let let the let the let the wings fly.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

That's it, that's it though. Yeah, that's it. You gotta kind of have that. And I think it's not gonna lie to you. Obviously, again, that's what you've asked the limitation. That's one that I know I can identify in it that because I have that kind of that not fear like. not I don't want to like fail.

SPEAKER_06 22:02

I don't want to I don't wanna if it if I'm doing whatever I'm doing it's got a kind of yeah I want to complete that or if not what's the point of engaging that's why I don't feel away and say a no you know because when things get put in my way I'm always looking at like what's the what's the bit what's the risk for here you know if I'm gonna if I feel like I might take it off from this I'm not gonna lie to you I don't think I can I just don't think it's for me you know like I'm don't feel no way and sometimes it upsets people makes people feel away but for me it's like well what do I mean to do take the leap of faith really passionate about or like when your heart is yeah like when your spirit is ignited I think it's even like for me a leaf in yourself yeah when your faith is ignited when your your spirit knows you want to do something you will do it and you will answer the questions along the way and you'll figure it out along the way you know what I mean I feel like something's going to get you there.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

This podcast right now is me taking a leap of faith you know what I'm trying to say this is me coming outside of my box you get me like just it's just doing things that I don't really I wouldn't really do in the day to day so even this is me trying to do something different like you get what I'm saying so that's this I'm trying to say I'm trying to sometimes I don't have to do it something I've calculated though I've calculated the calculated but as long as you give them a date sometimes you can calculate the risk but you will never know or be able to estimate the possibilities that's also something to always take into your mind like possibilities are endless you know I mean so you just don't know how far one path will set you off and then what that would ignite for another path or another part of you you know I mean so I think like I said I know it's in you because you're here right now and it's your Sagittarius right but even like to bring back into the top yeah like I would just say like raw like again it's everyone's success is different what's successful to you see will be different to you Shan will be different to me will be different to he she they them you know whatever and I just feel like that's just what it is I feel like you have to just kind of for what you've got going on just kind of just be grateful for what you've got and just worry about you get me find your happiness yeah yeah do you get everything your own yeah don't look at someone else's deal of joy yeah do you get it because you would then you'll always be ungrateful you will not let me not say that but you will never be able to appreciate what you actually have because you'll always find yourself wanting do you know what I'm saying even that okay even that this podcast that we've got it started like for me the fact that we've even got this rolling is success.

SPEAKER_05 24:56

There's some that might be maybe other people that I've got established podcasts or whatever they might kind of feel like oh it's not successful yet because you haven't but for us like for we've started something we had a you know whatever and we've got it rolling and you won't believe how many alignments there were in place before this for me it was like there were so many it was crazy yeah it's how you just see it like you said half full half empty innit so yeah yeah but again who even tells us what successful is who tells us what successful is who actually says it's TV environments and according to who successful according to who like when you ask according to who like do you get it like you know like because even like okay then even if you think about like rap stars and movie stars and stuff like that but what if you're somebody who's not into those kind of things what if not someone that's just not you know if you're quite secluded or if you're not you if that you that stuff don't really interest you you wouldn't really see success in that do you get what I'm saying that's not you get what I'm saying it's not your success yeah do you get what I'm saying like it's an individual thing yeah like you said it's the literal starting and finishing yeah you started to learn something new you finished it tomorrow yes tomorrow the day after that success you know for some people some people it is a big organization and then seeing that through that success to them as well success is whatever you determine it to be I agree with that we didn't ask you what your success was like what do you oh invest in last year um now for real you know what yeah as I've grown I've come to redefine success time and time again yeah initially I found success in simply being able to be whole within myself and being able to really see my own self yeah because for a long time I wasn't able to just see me so I was lost in the illusion of everyone else yeah you know I mean but then when I became more self-conscious in that sense that was huge success but then as I've evolved in that I find success is also being able to now share my voice share me with the world you know unfiltered and unsensitized to whatever anyone else would want to see or whatever not that's success for me now. And then as life has expanded again like I said I keep watching all these things of millionaires, billionaires and I really do, I really indulge and I love to learn about material success because I guess it's something where I never really once prioritized so much. Yeah. Whereas now it's like well if I want stability and I want to create and evolve and make certain things happen I would love then to reap fruits of that and I would love then to be able to share that and I would love then to be able to hold space in ways that is like you know it's like infinite and abundant and and beautiful in so many ways. So I feel like for me success has definitely shifted but it's all within my own personal vision of just how I I guess my my little utopic life it really is and I think now also success is living it. Yeah you know I mean like the things that I've dreamt of from a kid I'm now able to really live yeah you know I mean I'm I'm comfortable in all facets of myself and I find that that's a huge success for me because beforehand I would be so confused like oh I can't be like that because I'm just like fuck it I'm just gonna be me. Yeah and being me has been the greatest success yet you know and there's so much that has rolled in through that. Yeah that's why I said to you like never limit yourself to what one path can ignite because for me when I started to awaken to my own self and express that I never expected that to become anything but then I started to get into modeling and then that turned into being you know paid things and whatnot and it's like I didn't think that would come through but it happened because there was that one leap. Yeah that's why I'm like be kind of crazy about it.

SPEAKER_06 29:15

The door opens you have to go through it sometimes.

SPEAKER_05 29:17

But open it your damn self yeah open the door yourself some people are going to keep that door shut yeah right in front of your face. Trust right and it can be people that you really love and that you would hope would open the door but there sometimes the people that will shut the door in your face and say you cannot go through that door. Open it for yourself kick kick that door down. Do you get what I mean? Like kick it down and run. Because you just don't know us on the other side and sometimes that's I feel I feel like for the most part that's what we we have to see. Yeah we have to go through the programming of what we've been taught success to be through what we've been taught we can be to what we've been taught we're meant to be and then see who we are and then let that part of us thrive you know and I have full faith because I've lived it and I can only imagine what more will come and that's why my vision is bigger because it's like I know the most high does not play with listen Kamal said just a piece of the most high a minuscule piece of the most high is more than high enough because it's it's it's just knowing that we are one with that source energy it's an infinite energy. So who are we to think small?

SPEAKER_02 30:33

I'm done now like yeah no like see me like again I don't know I don't know what we'll call it what you want to call it but for me it's I'm simple I'm a simple lad you know like you see for me success is just as simple as you see if my brethren calls me and asks me for 20 pounds and I can send him with her a little 20 pounds that's successful you know because I've helped him or she whatever it was do you get me and I'm just saying it's a ballpoint figure. Do you do 150 trainers night whatever it is for me that something as simple as that is successful. Something as simple as our you know deals I'm stressed you know I need can I just come and can I just come and just chew at yours for a little bit and I need to get out of my house and just all right yeah cool at my own yeah cool forward I agree to me something as simple as that I've I was able to kind of help someone in need for me that's successful that is you needed someone to speak to I happened to be available we ended up having a two hour conversation from the end of the convo I think dude I'm not gonna lie I needed that you know that to me is successful imagine how big your heart is and imagine how many others will benefit from being able to be in your presence yeah that's well there you go that's a success story in itself in it but for me it's just again it's just mindset in it it's just it's just mindset those sometimes it's for me it's the small gains I can only do what I can do.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Do you get me so I can't give the I can't give the big things or the yeah I'm not there at the moment do you get me but I I've been my means in it how I can help how I can be a benefit how I can be like a positive light that's for me that's successful do you get what I'm saying and yeah man that's just I think it changed I resonate with you but like I said it's just you evolve in time yeah that's what I'm saying we always we always evolve and we have to and when once we get to that goal and we've done it we've achieved it then there's always going to be new ones so we will like these things change yeah man and those things will stay I think that that becomes your value for even why you then choose more you know I mean like I want to give more I want to hold space more like I want to do what I mean like you want to facilitate your bros more yeah that can be the the motivation to what builds more success in other films or other forms you know yeah man do you feel like do you feel like you're successful like within your yeah man yes I do I feel like I'm successful and there's much more to come yeah that's uh yeah it just changes up like I said my success right now is just me being mum and being happy and healthy and everybody's good do you know I mean but I know as alongside that may I add yeah getting this started as well yeah yeah true the small wins and the same the small one are we are we highlighting our successes yeah but I was gonna ask I was gonna ask you I was gonna say um someone like myself has to be reminded of the success it's not something that I wake up and remember that I'm successful it's a reminder whether that might be pictures or memories that pop up on stories or whatever it's a reminder um you know I'm not gonna go into details but yeah there's certain times I don't remember certain things until certain people even remind me and said oh yeah but you did this and I'm like oh oh yeah oh yeah so again like sometimes I feel that sometimes I feel like it's a reminder sometimes we can forget because we're sometimes caught up in the moment or not in the moment if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_05 34:22

Yeah I get that completely and I agree I guess sometimes it's just holding space for yourself enough though to remember isn't it yeah because I feel like I've made it a very deliberate and intentional practice of recent to be like remembering my light my light. Do you know what I mean? And not even just my life for example but the things my heart does that that my my heart is called to and that I have achieved and that I want to do remembering that consistently and holding the spirit of it to to remind myself of actually you are very successful. You're very necessary. You're very like you know I mean you're what you want to attain you should attain. Do you know what I mean? Like it's almost like setting declarations for what can come because of what's been but like you said sometimes we do forget because we get caught up in life but that's also something and yeah that you keep using the key word intentional that's very important.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

And if we as humans can set daily intentions as a daily reminder I feel like us as human beings would be a lot. It would be so great so much better.

SPEAKER_05 35:34

Yeah intentions are important so I struggle with that so badly intentions yeah like long term intentions you know I mean you know what helps putting reminders everywhere on sticky notes I just can't get myself to get that sticky note.

SPEAKER_06 35:55

Like I'm I'll I'll be like yeah I'm gonna set this date aside and do this or whatever or even like get my sister involved but when it comes to it it's blank that's what I struggle with but yeah I'm sure there's very deep meaning to it I want to ask you to elaborate more but I think is that time would you be comfortable elaborating more?

SPEAKER_05 36:19

Um I don't know I haven't figured that out fully yet myself do you know what I mean but yeah I don't mind um because I guess the question would be is it is it tasks that you that you more so push doing or is it just remembering the intention for for what should be um I don't know I feel like it's I think it's like just asking a universal thing do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 36:51

I feel like sometimes I'm not allowed to ask because I feel like I have enough does that make sense yeah so sometimes I feel bad that I have like I I'm asking because it possibly take from someone else do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 37:05

But you have to remember nothing takes from nobody.

SPEAKER_06 37:08

Yeah I know that but it's just yeah I've got that barrier there. Could did that could come from a past religion no it's always been with me I think before I became conscious of religion like you have you have enough and you can't have more yeah but why do you want more I don't the thing is I'm really content do you know what I'm saying to you but you're content but why do you want more I don't want more I feel like I've just been told that I should have more okay I think that's what it is it's true because that's probably why I don't ask for see that's a different thing.

SPEAKER_05 37:56

Yeah that is true but if you genuinely in your heart feel like actually I'm content yeah then what is there to ask for but maybe there is stuff to answer for but it's just what are you asking for? Yeah you know maybe it's a different type of layer there.

SPEAKER_02 38:11

I don't think there's anything wrong with that though I think that's good. Like if you feel more yeah if you feel content within your own that just means that you're happy and for me that's actually the ultimate goal you know forget anything the ultimate goal is about like happiness in it because if you're not like you're for your own personal development you need to be in a good space and that means you need to be happy it's very difficult to to develop when you're not in that right space so for me I I honestly believe the main thing I think is just like to just honestly just be happy in it to because that's how that's where you're gonna avoid stress that's when you're gonna avoid all these little silent killers that you know um negative energies and you know powers or whatever brings so that's why I just feel like if you're content with your life and especially in this day and age where it's just kind of just just completely just you know social media just kind of just dictates whatever to be content is wicked. Wicked you know what I'm trying to say it's wicked a lot more people need to kind of be content more with what they have and just kind of with what they've got look at where they can elevate and look at where they can progress there. Do you get what I'm saying? If a lot of people was like that I think there'd be a lot more like less there'll be a lot less sorry mental health and things like that because there'll be a lot less people not knowing.

SPEAKER_06 39:39

A lot of people don't know how to sit with themselves.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

Exactly that yeah exactly that you look for someone else or for something else for answers to describe how you're going for what you're going through instead of just sitting down taking the time out the answers are there.

SPEAKER_06 39:50

Yeah you just need to actually take that time out I just had a realization because the questions you're asking I have been like I have people that make me feel bad because I don't want to use my skills or like do you know what I mean um my work ethic as well and they're always like oh why don't you just start your own business and do you know what I mean like you could be doing this and you could be doing that and and you don't want to I don't want to do what I mean but I don't think I realize for a very long time that I don't actually want to do that again I'm quite happy. I mean it it could be something that I want to do later on in life again but you're where you're at now you're happy.

SPEAKER_05 40:36

Yeah I mean you said that before to be fair engaged that you're steady now and even if you do aspire to grow you have skills. Yeah like and it's okay to grow at a pace that's you're comfortable with and not I guess what other people would want for you. Because I feel like I've experienced that as well. Yeah where people be like oh but you can do that and you can do that to do that. Now I'm having a whole pivot and I'm like well actually I see something else and sometimes it is even honing in on those skills a bit but I'm choosing to do it in my own time because I can't live at people's pace. You know and I think that's healthy too. Yeah definitely but also some people be projecting because what are they doing? Exactly that is yeah you know and uh yeah I feel like one thing I would say is like I don't know because it's it's a kind of a catch 22 a little bit. Because when it's like you you have skills to create find and use your skills to create but then if you genuinely don't want to that's okay too but why don't you want to and I think if the why comes down to I don't think I'm good enough or do you think this then I feel like okay well you should do it. Yeah because then you can know that you are good enough. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 41:49

But then if it comes down to well actually I just I like life as it is yeah then let life live and let live you know I mean like love and enjoy the life that you have for me it was just like I went through a lot of trauma like my youngest he's got a disability and he was bought when he was born he had to go straight into Niku with oxygen and stuff like that. So like since he was born we've do you know I mean like uh the first maybe two three years of his life we was in and out of hospital. So I think trauma has made me go do you know what's self-care. Self-care self-care self-care do you know what I mean and I'm loving it like I'm in a place where but what if the thing that you even choose to do then is more so around all of that because it's easy for you.

SPEAKER_05 42:39

Yeah and maybe the things that were before that people see before it's not easy for me.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

I'm not I'm not there yet like but I mean I've learned it you've been doing it for years I've I've learned it.

SPEAKER_06 42:52

You've been doing it for years no yeah I was talking about like this to my friend on Saturday actually because she's got autistics on as well it's just like there's no support but anyway we're going off topic but I think no but it's also valid because I think that's something to consider.

SPEAKER_05 43:10

Yeah when the world's putting pressure on people to be successful and to show up yeah it's consider that there's life happening that needs tending to yeah children need tending to and not just if they're autistic but even just nurturing children like that's that's that's valuable enough to take a step back from career from business and to do it.

SPEAKER_06 43:31

Do you know I mean not everyone can do the two but again people don't see that as success do you know what I'm saying it's success.

SPEAKER_02 43:38

I take it as success 100% I definitely to be an intentional mother yeah big up you thank you for but yeah no 100% I think yeah yeah and it's not easy you're giving me a good idea even just having children and just raising children and raising them the right way like for me that's just successful you're being a parent you know you're uh like it's that's the successful dude that's what you want in it do you get what I'm trying to say like even for me like I find myself like you see how you're saying you're content that for me I'm kind of similar like I feel like in my life right now I'm quite content if you get what I'm saying like I'm alright with how the way my life's going together obviously it could be better but and it could be worse whatever but I'm quite content I'm happy with what I've got going on my routine's good it works for me yeah the people in my life and that do you get me like it's I'm kind of alright obviously don't get me wrong of course there's room to elevate yeah like anything that you do and of course there's things that I would want or like or want to do or things like that but it's not like it doesn't because of those things it doesn't make you think oh you know how I'm living right now is so bad and no it just means that okay then cool well you don't stop here yeah it's actually there is there is you can that there is actually a next level if you want to go to that next level well to achieve these to achieve these things that you're gonna have to elevate to do that and then I can just that's where I could that's where the motivation then comes in. Okay then what if I really if I want to move from this content stage and this well then I'm gonna have to put the work into yeah and yeah but I think right now way my life is right now yeah I'm pretty pretty content you know you get me like pretty content for now for now but it's healthy because as humans I feel like we're here to evolve as we yeah but sometimes your life is evolution enough yeah sometimes your life isn't evolution enough shout out to evolution successful so that's good to keep the success going to make more successes as well but yeah what we'll round it up on that note that's another successful episode yeah I hope you enjoyed make sure you like share comment subscribe catch us on the socials get involved in some of the like topics and some of the clips that you see as well feel free to comment you know like chime in we'd love to hear your thoughts like you know love to hear some of the stuff that you're saying maybe we can you know address it or you know maybe we can kind of we'll grow and expect yeah yeah you know maybe there's things we may have missed out of things we may have not mentioned that you know you know you guys can kind of add in and we we welcome that do you get me is learning's earning do you get me so yeah man so peace love black and muted black and muted black and muted black and muted black and muted black and muted black and muted black and muted black and muted black and muted