Survival Mode Isn't Living - Black & Muted (Audio Only)

This week on Black and Muted, Cee, Dillz, and Shanice get real in ‘Survival Mode Isn’t Living.’ They unpack the cost of always being in hustle or defence mode and ask what it really means to thrive, not just get by. It’s honest, raw, and full of those truths we don’t always say out loud.”

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Black and muted.

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Black and muted.

SPEAKER_03 0:02

Black and muted.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Black and muted.

SPEAKER_03 0:04

Black and muted.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Black and muted.

SPEAKER_03 0:06

Black and muted.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Black and muted. Black and muted black and muted.

SPEAKER_03 0:10

Black and muted. Black and muted muted black and muted. Hi and welcome back to Black and Muted. You know my co-host, Shenice and Deals. Um today we'll be talking about survival mode isn't living. Discussing how many people in the black community normalizes stress, trauma, overworking, and emotional suppression because that's just life. And what's the normalized around us. So yeah, it's just how deep it goes and obviously again how far back it goes and what we've been taught by our parents and those that care for Russian. I mean so it's a hard one to just shake off because sometimes you don't even know you're doing it.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Yeah, I think that's what I was gonna say, it's very subconscious. Yeah. Often and it and it's also dubbed as a living. Yeah. Because it's what's been done before and what's been said to be the right way.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

Yeah, you should just accept it sometimes with the older generation. Yeah, it's always worse on the other side. That's what we're always told, but it's actually not. Do you know what I mean? It's healing is good.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

I mean, it's just it's safe to acknowledge your own self and acknowledge your own capacity and not compare it to whatever someone else has experienced or is experiencing. Because I think that's another thing that gets people trapped to thinking oh, it can be worse. Yes, but it's just a worse for you. So acknowledge it.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Yeah, and some people like you know, little things can affect you. You know what I mean? Some people, a little thing is such a major thing as well, so you can't balance, you can't say, Oh, because that person's got through it, that that person should as well. It just doesn't work like that.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

I think that's I think with like the way that life is at the moment, like um everything's just sort of like high demand, isn't it? Um and time is of the essence. And like, I don't know about you lot, but for me, there's just not enough time of the day. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know where the day goes most of the time, but like I wake up, I blink, you know, it's morning, I blink again, it's lunchtime, I blink again, it's the end of work, or it's the evening, you know, I blink again, like it's time to go to sleep. It's like no, do you know what I'm saying? Um and I feel like as well, just like with society at the moment, and just with the way like the economy is, and how like just how expensive things are becoming, you know. Um, I don't know again about you lot, but for me, I just find myself constantly spending. Even if it's just like one pound at the shop, like it's just it's just constant, you know what I'm saying? Like the second I leave my house, it's like the meter just starts. You know, I feel like I'm just I'm like a I'm just walking around and like a black taxi meter just sort of the top of my head. It's just every step I've taken is just constantly, you know, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 3:28

Especially with the kids as well. When you've got kids, it's like if you're not spending your money, they are. So you know, it's constant. Yeah, yeah, I hear it. But I feel like every generation has their do you know what I mean? Like where we're fighting time, and we feel like we haven't got it, and we and we have got all this stuff around us technologies to make our lives easier. They didn't have that, but they still had to, do you know what I mean, work hard or whatever. So I feel like every generation has that, but yeah, again, you know, like being fed information from social media day in, day out, and having this in your face all the time, it cut it affects you differently to what they were just showing locally or in nationally, do you know what I mean? But I think we've all got our struggles. It's just seeing them and doing something about it.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

Slowing down slowing down and giving yourself permission. And I feel like until like for me personally, until COVID had happened, and then you know, there was the whole social distancing and stay in your house type of situation, I used to be in the same cycle of very much doing what felt the most necessary, and that was working full-time, being a very early young mum, because my son was literally a couple months old. And prior to that, even someone I used to have like three jobs back to back, do you know what I mean? So for me, when COVID happened, that was a huge eye-opener because I didn't even realize how much of myself I wasn't tending to, do you know what I mean? Because it really did feel like it, but then being made redundant is what actually helped because I had nothing else to do but to take care of my child, and that was a blessing. But from there I've learned to really honour just slowing down and being okay with like my journey, because I think also what we have amongst our community is silent competition or silent needing to be on top of something or someone being better, being better than the next person. And it's like maybe if you just focus on what you actually value, yeah, and what like success is for you, or what your needs are telling you you need right now, perhaps there wouldn't be as much being in survival mode. Yes, because then you will honor yourself enough to slow down and live. But I guess there comes a lot of fear, like you said, with not then being able to keep up with the expenditure of life. And I feel like even that, when we slow down enough, we give ourselves the grace to receive in the sense of receiving insight, receiving better clarity, receiving direction. And obviously, you know, for me, spirituality plays a huge role in how life is supposed to be. So I think being able to receive direction from the most high gives you the peace to move at your own pace and trust what comes along your path, and not to say we shouldn't move in our own way as well, but you give yourself a little bit more room, breathing room, you know, to actually pay attention to other things because we have a lot of disease in the black community. We have a lot of like people that just end up in hospital and shut down completely because they're in the survival mode and consistent motion. Yeah. And even at that, there's still no point of saying, hey, maybe it's just take a moment. Yeah, it's then even with that happening, trying to get back, we don't have enough voice to say, pay attention to your well-being. It's not a priority for us.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

No one teaches you to say, Oh, wait a minute, I need to take a like I'm you know what I mean. I'm not sure. I've done a lot, you know, I've taken on a lot of people. It's time for me to just sit down and be by myself. We're not taught that. No, you know, I mean, to rest is even really still something where you can be looked at as lazy. As late, it's actually a big one.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

I remember having a conversation recently with some family members about um women having a pause on their menstrual cycle. And it was male family members, and they were like confused as to why do you need that? Like you can do if you want to work like I'm working, then do it. Yeah, but it's like you don't even know like how tiring and exhausting that that those two, three, or however long your cycle might go on for. And as you know, even with that, a lot of the suppression causes diseases. So there's some women experience endemiators and other wound-related matters, where it's like it's just the worst time of the month to even be present, but then still having to force yourself. Do you know what I mean? The roller coaster, everything is is really a lot. Yeah. So I was saying, like, you know, it's something that I feel like should be honored. Because in some countries it's honored where women actually get to take a break when they're having a mental rejection.

SPEAKER_03 8:21

They're like, Yeah, yeah, just that time, it's just to you.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

Don't don't be engaged in the world, and rightfully so. But then we have a colonization, yeah, and a society that doesn't necessarily like we need women. Yeah, that's what it's come down to. Women can't even take a break because a lot of where you know where your children are kept in the daytime for you to work, yeah, it's run by women.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

But you but that's still not honoured in the real world either. Like women are not honored as much, and we all know that. There's not even the right proper compensation for that, yeah. And even you know, pay gap and the fact that like we have kids. Do you know what I'm saying? So somebody the whole life outside of it, yeah. You've got to have the balance, you know. But it's true what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

There's a there's a there's a lot to it, I feel. Yeah, and we don't do ourselves much justice in it, yeah, when we don't allow like just giving someone grace to be like, you know what, if you need to take a break, take a break, you know. But I guess for me, everything always comes back down to community because we need each other to do that. You know what I mean? If you're not able to be able to sustain yourself for a little while, maybe you need a friend that can come bring you a meal. Do you know what I mean? Like little things to keep you going, but yeah, I feel like we have a way to go.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

Yeah, 100.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

However, we can get there.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

You know what though, you know what I'd say, yeah? I'd say that I don't want to speak for everyone, it's my opinion, but I just feel like not everyone is sort of, or not everyone feels like they're where they want to be in life. So, because of that, you find yourself constantly on that path, on that path. And even you yourself, you don't allow yourself that time to kind of like take a breather, sort of have a like a little, maybe like a welfare check or something like that. But to be honest with you, there isn't really that time because okay, then look at it like this: like imagine if you're working full-time, you're a parent, so you have children, okay. So you do your job nine to five, just gonna just gonna put standard full-time hours, nine to five, you come home now, now you've got your second job, go look after the children. That's done in the evening. Like, children is is literally a constant thing, in it that doesn't switch off. That job doesn't switch off, even when you're working, it's still do you get what I'm saying? So it's like when do you actually get the chance to? And it's like the workplace doesn't give you a day for welfare, a day, even if it's one day in the year with welfare, you know, like little things like that can sometimes help. Yeah, and I just thought it's just things like that. Like, so we got a lot of pressures from society, which like doesn't even enable us to it's also in your home.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

Like, I've got one of my good, good friends, her husband. So she's got the kids during the day, and on the on the weekends, he's like, get out of here. He kicks out of the house, go find someone to go and chill with. Like, I've got the kids, do you know? And one of her kids has got autism as well, so it's just like a lot. Do you know what I mean? But he's it's a healthy thing that he's just like, cool, pretend to go, go in, have some time for yourself, let your hair down, and do you know what I mean? See you later. So it's also in the house as well.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

I was gonna say that as well, because I feel like it it comes down to making a conscious effort about it. It's not simple because, like you said, there's so much to then be striving for, but it can be easier when you have a voice that is able to support you and a presence that's able to support you as well. I guess, and sometimes being a bit audacious and taking those breaks for yourself, like if you're working, shit, if you need a day for your mental health, like don't say you're you got the runs, you can't go in for three days. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like, personally, you're paid for those sick days as well. So for me, it's just like you realize how much because when you're when you if something happens to you, your company wouldn't care to replace you two seconds. In fact, that's all they care about. You're just a number, a colleague number, you know what I mean? So once you're no longer capable, okay, where's the next person coming from? They're not even looking at them as a person a lot of the time, but literally someone to fill the gap.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Do you know what I mean? So it's quite nice when you do have companies that are mindful enough to care about your well-being because then there's a balance. But when they don't, I'm not gonna lie, I don't think you deserve that. Yeah, and I think this is what we have to do as a people is get to a place where we're comfortable being audacious enough to be like, I don't deserve what I'm living in, yeah, and create it for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

And it sounds probably a bit like woo, unrealistic, but but it isn't, it's not unrealistic, it's like the way you set boundaries for yourself, do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Because when life forces you to do it, you will find a way that requires discipline though, it does, and structure, it does, and love positions out, it does these people are struggling with, but before that place, but you know what is as well?

SPEAKER_02 13:09

For me, it's like, and this is why I guess in essence, for everything would come down to us being spiritual beings in a sense, because when you're empowered by source or life force, you're not concerned about worldly things as much as your spirit. Your spirit is what you need to thrive in this lifetime. The world can only have so much control of your physical body. Do you get what I mean? But when you can give in to the knowing of self enough, then you will find the strength and you'll find the space to be and to do what's necessary for you without feeling you're letting anyone down around you or you're you're not pro progressing in the world enough. Do you know what I mean? Like I think faith has a huge thing to do with it because also when it even does come down to faith, and then we look at the structure of faith that we have predominantly, which is religion, yeah, it is still not really honouring of these principles anyway, that we need for our natural well-being. Yes, not completely, yeah. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 14:17

I mean, if you play smart, maybe you can find that being selfless as well, a lot of it's yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

So to don't even be selfish and be like, oh, I need a day for myself. Yeah, you feel you feel guilty because oh, this person's gonna have to show up, and that's sometimes let that be the case. Yeah, you know, it's not gonna break apart, man.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

Just take the time.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Like when it happens by force, there's a way that's made. So before it gets to that point, I feel like it's healthy to just try even a little thing a day. It can even because a lot of the time, as well, what is suppressing us or what's causing things within us is not always external, like it's it's what we're putting into ourselves. So what we've been taught, that part is a huge thing.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

But when you come out of that environment of being taught and you become an adult and you then get to choose your environment, that's when that plays in. Because if you're being, do you know what I mean? If you're being it in places where they think the same and they probably you know I mean, you or you put it down, or they judge you if you do take time out for yourself, it's never gonna happen. So you've got also be, you know, you've got to take control of where you're who you're sitting with and the type of people that are feeling.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

I think maybe as women, I would say it's probably easier to say this because I think naturally we are a lot that we have in place to help us do this easier. Yeah, yeah. I think for men it's a lot harder because there's pressure more than there is on us. But this is like where I felt these conversations can be necessary because is it then not fair to say that men need a break? Like men do. Do you know what I mean? And I think as much as we do, we've had time to work on ourselves to heal. You know, we have so many spaces now that facilitate this for us and everything. Men still don't have that, but yet still men are becoming conscious of all these other aspects of themselves.

SPEAKER_03 16:12

That you know 20 years behind with this stuff, in essence, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 16:15

So then it's like it takes teamwork and it takes community and it takes people being like, you know what, we have to just go against what we're told and see what makes sense, literally, because that's a reality too.

SPEAKER_03 16:29

Yeah, that is a reality, and and the big one is the community thing because like I find even me and one of my really good friends again, we bounce off of each other, so it's like I can't I got to an age where I was just like everything, do you know? I mean, that I'm doing me, I don't care, you know, and she was still like, Oh no, no, I can't do it, and now she's at that point, and it's so refreshing to see. But you know, people take time, but it is literally you just absorb off of each other, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

So, and then the blessing is you can be grounding for each other as well, yeah, like because you know what that can lead to, you know what I mean? So if you're not treading lightly, you can end up really being f every and then everything collapses, yeah. So it is having a balance, but having the community, having being vulnerable is a huge thing. I think we don't like to be vulnerable with what our issues are as well, yeah, enough to actually even enable that's a big, big one to come in.

SPEAKER_03 17:25

That is a big big one.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

It's difficult though, because like you say you be vulnerable, but that's not always a good thing, though.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

Why, darling?

SPEAKER_00 17:32

It's just not it's just not always a good thing to be vulnerable to your what with your feelings, do you say?

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Yeah, like with your well-being, your feelings, everything, your mental state of being. If you're having a crap day, you can say I'm having a crap day.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Yeah, that's all right. I wouldn't say that's being vulnerable though. You're allowed to express yourself, but it's vulnerable, yeah. Will you say that's vulnerable?

SPEAKER_03 17:53

Yeah, because that person's still giving you a safe space to be.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

It's saying what's what's what's in your innermost feelings and and thoughts, it is very, very vulnerable. Fair enough. Maybe you're not going deep enough to see it as vulnerable. Yeah, because I guess everyone has their level. That's how you see things, isn't it? Everyone has their level of again, it's what you know, innit?

SPEAKER_03 18:17

I think that's safe to talk about, but go in the next level and I can't do that because you haven't seen it, or you don't know how it's going to be received, so you won't do it.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Do you know what's funny? The other day I went to a retreat. Um, it was about radical self-forgiveness by Strictly Queens, really great. And in that moment, like one of the things the facilitator had mentioned is the fact that as a community, we just don't trust each other enough. And that lack of trust doesn't only impact us in business or in thriving as one, but it also impacts us in the sense of our well-being. Because if we can't trust each other to say, you know what, this is really where my issues lie and get to the real root of it, yeah. Like things that are maybe childhood related or you know, just like bumps in the road as you've grown from adolescence to adult. I think if you can't really communicate these things to the people closest to you, you won't relieve them from yourself enough to see beyond it. Yes. And it consumes you more than anything, and that's what suppression does. Like when you're suppressing things, it's it's it's then gonna harvest within you, and you don't realize that that thing is a block, but then it becomes the one thing that prevents you from moving forward.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

You mentioned COVID earlier, that's kind of what happened to me. I just felt like I didn't realise I was sweeping everything under the carpet. Do you know what I mean? And then when COVID hit, I think not the first time, the second time when we had the second lockdown. That's when I kind of went, Oh, I've got shit to deal with. Do you know what I was saying? Sam, where did that come from? I don't know, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

So, yeah, that was you're just so consistent in motion, you just don't all the the points of yeah, yeah, and I think go. That's been on our lives, like it's been what's been normal for so long, like generationally long. Do you know what I mean? So there's not only our own ish that we end up dealing with in the end, we're actually dealing with some things from our ancestors that was not dealt with in the now, and what we've been taught, and what we've been taught, and like it's heavy, it becomes normal, in it. But I would say, like, there is because obviously then it's like, okay, so how do you go about all of that then? When you've recognized it, because you need to still keep going in the world, how do you really then show up for yourself? Yeah, again, like I said, vulnerability helps because if you are vulnerable enough, you can receive help from the government, even whereby you can have things implemented where you can then get days off and be paid, or do you know what I mean? Like you can be given a bit of a grace and assistance as you work through whatever it is, because there's there's quite a bit of assistance out there, but also community is important with that because it's it's it's nice to be able to relate to to your own with whatever it is you might be struggling with and find a way through that together.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

You say that, yeah, but you see, one thing I will say, you see, one thing community equ community can't help, community can't help, employment rates increase in community. I don't agree with that. Yeah, it can't help, it can't help people getting um I would say black people even in a in a sense, getting sort of you know, jobs in in better positions. Um there's just certain things that's put in place to kind of like stifle us as a as a community, in it uh um and that also plays an effect as to why you know a lot of us are living in this survival mode. Do you get what I'm trying to say? Especially living in living in London when you look at a lot of these areas, do you know what I'm trying to say? Like these these Newishams, these Southwarks, Lambeths. Harangays, Hackney, like these areas like that, like it's not it's not good. It's run down. A lot of these areas are run down. Obviously, yeah, cool. Now they're gentrifying the place and whatnot, but they're gentrifying the place because they're kicking a lot of us out and sending a lot of us up north. Do you get what I'm saying? So that's also played a part, I would say, as well. Do you get what I'm trying to say? And and like even what we've seen, how we've seen our families come up, like sort of like Wind Rush generation and things like that. Literally, they've come into this country and it's literally been survival from the off. Do you get what I'm trying to say? So that also plays a part as well. Like our culture in it. It's kind of almost like our culture, like to survive. When you from your born, it's almost like you're trying to survive in this thing, in it. And for me, that's that's real as well, isn't it? That that definitely plays a part.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

I agree. I wouldn't deny that's a reality at all because for a very long time it was my reality too. But again, like I said, it does come down to wanting to even get to a place where there's another way. And as a community, if you view community in a way of you cannot receive help, you're not gonna receive help. If you view community in a sense of there is actually people out there that care to direct you and also help you to apply to certain things to help you elevate, then community will be the greatest asset that you can have. Do you know what I mean? So it's like a perspective, a mindset, and what you're willing to receive really does play a huge role because again, it comes down to that vulnerability though. If you're not comfortable saying I'm weak in this and I need to thr I want to thrive in something else, you're not gonna receive well, you would then receive the guidance somehow. And it can really be, it can really be one day you're sitting down at a bus stop and someone sits beside you and they might have something and you could peep on it, and it could be what you you can be an answered prayer in that sense. Or they could speak to you, and as they speak to you, you realize that as you're communicating, oh, this person has insight to what I had a question about. And this is not like just naysay or imaginary, this is fact, like it happens in every way, and I say it from a place of experience in the latter to moving through to the now. Do you get what I mean? So it's it's only come through that vulnerability and being willing to reach out as well, not just stand back and be like, oh well, nothing's there for me. If you have that mentality and that way of being, that's just that's all that's gonna be for you. Yeah, you know what I mean? So it's okay to say I don't know how and I don't see it yet, but I'm open. Yes, that sets another pathway for you to then receive that, and it's a whole different paradigm that's open to you through doing that. Do you know what I mean? So I completely hear you, and I know the weight of that as well, because the weight of it makes it feel like there's nothing to do or that can be done, but that's just not reality, and then that's a scary thing. There's many realities.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

That's that's a scary place to be in because you you don't know how to ask for help.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

And you the the fear of what's unnecessary.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

Yes, yeah, yeah, and and like the wind rush generation and stuff, and you know, coming here and like having to just keep away and keep their stuff, do you know what I'm saying to you? Like everybody else, and to da da da, like so we we're all taught that that next generation and generation after are taught to keep your business to yourself and don't, you know what I mean, don't step out of line and we're everywhere. So, yeah, it doesn't help. But when you come out of that mindset and you realize that there are other avenues, it doesn't and therapy is not the same for everybody. Do you know what I'm saying? So some people they need to talk, some people is art, it's practical, music, you know what I mean, dancing. There's different types of therapy that's out there for everyone. So we need to tap in. Yeah. Put ourselves first, yeah, love ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

That's interesting. All right, let me give you like a real scenario that's very real. Let's see how we go on this one. You owe council tax, you have rent arrays, service charge arrested You owe you owe money on your gas and your light, you owe money on your electric, yeah? TV license. You have children, they want this, they want the latest stuff. School uniform, clarity clear pay there, clarity, catalogue here, little woods there. Let me ask you a little question. Yeah? All that going on at this precise moment, how does the community help with that?

SPEAKER_03 26:34

They can give you advice of where to go. Advice? Advice of advice of where to go. Is it advice?

SPEAKER_00 26:40

Advice of where to go. Do you know what? Conviction notice on your door.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

Darling, yeah, I'm saying what you're grounding your perception in, and even what you want to receive is coming from fair. Because I hear it completely, lived it completely.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

Can I just say something by the way? You see, you lot answering this question, yeah. This is gonna you lot answering this question right now is gonna solve an issue for a lot of people's reality right now. So please do explain how that helps. No pressure.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

There's no pressure, do you know why? Because again, there are people with the knowledge of how to go around debt. Yes, that there's a point of debt where if you genuinely can't clear it, there's a way it's cleared for you, you know. Even if you go, because I've had to do IVAs. Is it an IVA? I think it's an IVA, yeah, where you pay monthly to basically reset your credit. And even in doing that, right, I've found that life just powers things up. And for me, I'll be real, I'm gonna prioritize, especially now, especially after having received diagnoses and do you know what I mean? And knowing how much my self-care is necessary, I prioritize myself first and my children and what's necessary in the home. So therefore, outside of that, I have to seek the ways of which all the other finances can be dealt with because I otherwise you're gonna be burdened by things that you it will take a long time to reduce or whatnot, but there is help.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

Fair enough. Okay, so you say IVA, yeah, that's basically um insolvency. So that goes on the record for seven years.

SPEAKER_02 28:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

So that means technically it's like declaring yourself bankrupt. So that means you can't literally apply for any loan, um, forget it. If you want to get a house, forget it. No mortgage lender's gonna want to touch you.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

No, no, okay. Can I say no? Because again, yes, it's a timeline of where you then are not able to do those things, but that does a card. That does not mean there's not other ways. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

But that would you say that's like, but again, like I just said, that's seven years on your record where you can't do any of those things. So it's like, again, if you're someone that's aspiring to do that, is that like community, babe.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

Yeah, you not even I'm not even gonna have a conversation with somebody, they can be like, I've got a job for you that earns much more or double what you're doing. You can get cash in hand, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

You can put your own skills to the test.

SPEAKER_03 29:10

If you need someone who can never know, somebody family can bring you in if they got a space. It happens. Life was that simple. The thing is that it happens when you ask the universal things, it literally falls on your lap sometimes. You say that and I know where you're coming from. You say that.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

These things that you're talking about, like these organizations that have to accept you, they have to allow you to do these things. Do you know what I'm trying to say? And you have those battles as well. And then, you know, you've got a lot of people that are struggling and that haven't got nothing, and they're being looked past.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

Yeah, 100%. You know what I'm trying to say. Yeah, 100%. And you're stuck in there. Some people don't know that they don't know what their rights are or what they they're entitled to, too. But some people do, yeah. And those people have a conversation. I used to work in a community centre doing exactly this. People come and be like, I've got a dilemma with my housing or my benefits, or I need to find work, or I'm unhealthy. So I used to take them gym and stuff like that. And community centre, like literally, they all come in, and this is what we're giving them. So, again, talking to people opens doors for you, no matter what. Do you know what I'm saying? Be vulnerable.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

But just going back, there was would you um advice not to go down that lane? Is that what you were saying?

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna lie, in my head, I was thinking to myself, I was thinking to myself, like me, even like I'm not even trying to bait up my thing, but obviously, what I do on a day to day is uh like kind of in and around that. And I was thinking to myself, me personally, I would never even advise somebody that has sort of debt to go down that road. I would never advise someone. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Even someone's on the like on the phone and trying to suggesting that, obviously, I'm not an advisor, I'm not a financial advisor, so I can't actually tell you what to do who how to handle your finances. But the way I will kind of angle that conversation, in my opinion, my sort of experience in being this, it's not something I would yeah, because for me, for me, what I tend to find is that a lot of people in these situations that doesn't actually help. It maybe just puts a stop on certain things, but it's about your habit. If you can get a D for it, it is okay to have it for it.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

My thing is my thing is if someone's listening right now and you're oh and you're basically saying to them, go down that river, and so would you tell them just to hold out with their bad credit because it's gonna eventually declare them?

SPEAKER_03 31:32

So credit, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

I'm not a finance advisor, so I don't know what to say. What I would say, this is what I would say, this is what I would honestly say, yeah, seek financial advice because it is there. Go to your local um citizens' advice. Um yeah, law centre. There are you know the advice lines as well. There are things in place, do you get what I'm trying to say? Don't even write, I know there's things in place, but again, I'm just trying to ask that question. But I know this in it, do you get what I'm trying to say? But what I would say, and also what I'd say as well is be direct in your question, because what I tend to find is that people are not really direct in what they're saying, and we can only like like you can well not we, but you can only get advice what you ex what you express. Do you get what I'm trying to say? So if you really need help, just be honest with what's going on, and you can get the best help. But yeah, I would honestly, but to answer your question, to keep it short, I would just say obviously, you have to do what's best for your circumstances, in it. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

SPEAKER_03 32:23

So, what you're saying is be vulnerable, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

Me personally, I just heard that.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

But also, I also heard you say there is help, and also you said it's your habits. Again, it will come down to what are you willing to work on as a person. Obviously, not everything happens overnight. It's not easy to go from a mindset of scarcity to then a mindset of having abundance or even thinking that's possible if that's your situation. But bear in mind, I've experienced it. So it's not like it's it's the easiest thing, but it's it's a step if you're willing, and it will do so much. Because, like I said, even if that is what you are experiencing in the now, five years later, that's not going to be your reality, you're not going to be stopped forever. You have abilities within you that are far greater than whatever else is set up for you in just this worldly manner, that if you apply it to your life, you can achieve great things and you can do and receive for just being. That's not that's not myth, that's not not true or anything. It's possible if you're willing to learn and to still find a way to live through adversity. This is something that I personally am passionate about because I've experienced so much adversity in disease, in in trauma, in life circumstances, you know what I mean? And I'm still very young, so there's still so much that is being unlearned and learned simultaneously. But I do know for for as much as I have for as much as I've experienced now, nothing is impossible so long as you are willing. It's not about your circumstance of the now, it's what you really want, and it might take working on, be comfortable with doing things that are uncomfortable, work on it.

SPEAKER_03 34:16

That's a big one.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

You know what I mean? If you have to change your habits for a while, you can't shop at the big shop, you can't follow your friend them. Don't find another way. You can still be you. Do you know what I mean? But learn learn ways to go in and in and around it. It's not hard. It's it's challenging. It's not a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

You say it's not hard, it's it's it's not easy either. I mean, I've done it while having two kids. Yeah, but that's you though, innit? That's that's good on you. Do you that's your character, in it? But a lot of people are set in their ways.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

I mean, I'm also someone that's very have I have an addictive personality. Yeah, if if I like something, I like it a lot. Yeah, and that doesn't make it easy to form a habit where you need to have moderation and balance.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

But you're okay, but you're good at breaking your habits.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Yeah, but it took time to learn. I still have habits that I need to break. Look at every time I come out, I want sugar.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

Cool, whatever it was, you were able to break that habit. I would like to say I've got an addictive personality, and there's a lot of things that I'm addicted to that I'm still addicted to that I would love to stop, but I can't stop because I'm addicted to it so that you can testify that it's possible. But the point I'm trying to make is that everyone has different so you're you was able to find a way to and everyone can find a way, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

I will solely believe that. You think or swim life? This is the thing. Do you want me to tell people that you're that failure is the only option?

SPEAKER_00 35:36

I'm not even saying failure, but what I'm saying is that it's it's it's in theory, this sounds good, but in real time, like when you're actually living this life that we're living, like it's just not as simple as it's not.

SPEAKER_03 35:46

We're living a place like that, babe. If it's that badge, yeah, then you're gonna just have to sort out your you know, I mean the credit thing where you're talking about ah, it's gonna be six years, da da da. This is what I'm saying, there's ways about it.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

Okay, you do that because fair enough, you do that, fine base, all that does is just it's a cutoff point, it doesn't actually stop the bills or the debts coming in. So if you still have that same, maybe you might start from zero, but you still have that same covered in, yeah, and at the same time, um if you've got children and stuff like that, and everything's high demand, if you are not earning a certain amount, if we're talking about single, like we're talking about single mothers and things like that that are just literally on benefits or just earning normal job, the thing is.

SPEAKER_03 36:24

Knowledge is power like going out there and understanding what there is, again, like, and you're gonna have to talk to people, innit? Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, even if it is going to sit and survive, but knowledge is power to know what there is out there for you. There's charities, there's food banks, there's yeah, it you know what I mean. And children go to school sometimes, schools offering. And some people don't want to change things because they want to keep up with their appearances. But the fact of the matter is, is that if that's what how you've got to live for that time being until things get better, then that's what it is.

SPEAKER_06 36:53

That's what it is. Do you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 36:55

Especially when you've got kids, you've got no choice. Do you know what I mean? You literally haven't, because again, it is sink or swim. Like, it's either I have to change and my kids still eat and we survive and we still get to do certain things, or it's do you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm gonna just get myself in more debt, I'm gonna get more depressed. It just leads to other bugs.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

Some people do take that option though, because what if you're not confident enough to express yourself? Not everybody is a lot of people bury their heads in the sand, they're not confident enough to speak. And it's easy to say, it's easy to say it, it's easy to say, oh, you know, you just gotta get up and do it. No, some people can't get up and do it.

SPEAKER_03 37:31

So you're right.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

Some people don't like to have conversations.

SPEAKER_03 37:35

It's quite nice to have know who your neighbours are, like who your people are around you. Do you know what I'm saying? Because even if it's not that can't talk, maybe the neighbor that's dull to your own.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Your neighbor will smile in your face, and then they'll be writing letters about you about making noise after flipping nine o'clock. And noise that's malevolence. Do you get what I'm saying? That same neighbor that's key here with you will be trying to get me get you out of your house, right?

SPEAKER_02 37:58

Listen, I would always say the safest space you have is yourself, period. From time you let information go from you to another soul, it's out there, right? You can't control how they handle it, you can't control what they do with it. At the end of the day, it's not your business. Let me tell you that. What are you gonna do? You can't you can't harm me, right? There's a world out here that knows I have herpes. Do I give a fuck? No, but but I'm being real with you. Like, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm radical in these things. I mean, period, but at the end of the day, I'm radical in these things because it's the same things that we suppress. What you're talking about is all the things we suppress that stop us from progressing are the same things we need to be able to comfortably sit with and address, and if need be, speak with others about the safest place you have is yourself. Yeah, so what other people do with that, they're punch that that's with their alignment with the most high. You understand? It's not your business. But don't suffer because you want to uphold an image or you feel like it's not gonna get you nowhere.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Period. Wow, like who's gonna beat you? Who are these people? Who is everybody scared of? If somebody asked your business, maybe it's about being vulnerable.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

Maybe that expression just makes you become vulnerable. Everyone's scared to be vulnerable in this world that we're living right now. What's the worst? But what it can you be vulnerable, then it's like when people use words against where you open up your heart.

SPEAKER_02 39:32

The thing about judging another person is the only person that's harmed in doing that is yourself. You sit down and you want to judge someone for what they're going through, what their life experience is, you're only judging and stifling yourself. Whilst they continue to move because you know why? They've let the burden go. So you're gonna look confused when you see that person is actually progressing from what you feel they would be simply because they've actually allowed themselves to be full. Some people five. While that is you've decided, well, because because of so and so, I'm gonna go talk to this one, and also your own behavior is what's gonna be mirrored back to you. I don't have people that come to me to gossip. I don't gossip. So I don't know about it. And I don't, it doesn't bother me because I don't know about it. Yeah, I've lived it once, yes, but in my reality today, it doesn't impact me, and therefore, I it's proof that who you are is what you become and what you receive. You feel me? Yeah, period.

SPEAKER_00 40:32

I just feel like everyone's different, enjoy things differently, and you, you're very strong, you're a very strong character, and you've done well, you know. You're a survivor, you're adding it. I'm a very sensitive person. Don't give me strong dub. Well, that's obviously what you just basically just said to me. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

SPEAKER_02 40:50

What I said to you is what I said to you is from point A to point B, there's a way. Yeah, but the way requires your participation, yeah. The way requires you to have enough faith in yourself, yeah, yeah. Right? And the most has that faith.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

This is what I'm trying to say. That is not everybody has that faith in themselves, though.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

It's but at the time, it's not necessarily faith that you need at the time. At the time, it's literally survival. It's literally it is surviving until you can live.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

Yeah, it's literally like it's also a willingness to want to get to here, to get to here.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

And that's what that's the topic that we're on, though, isn't it? And again, look, this is what we go through naturally, survival. Like naturally, you have to at some point.

SPEAKER_03 41:28

Yeah, but then then it's the survival, and then there's goals.

SPEAKER_02 41:32

We're not aristocrats, we're not there's a thin line, there's layers, there's there's layers to how it happens because even as you choose to live, then there could be moments that would look like survival because you're trying to achieve another state or do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 41:45

Like your comfort zone. Right.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

You're you're in a whole different paradigm of being. But at the end of the day, I'm not gonna say that life never comes with its discomfort. That's not gonna be real. In fact, you should want to have more problems along the way, problems where you can become better, problems where you can learn more of a skill set, problems where you can become more agile in navigating life. Because at the end of the day, life is we're here to live an experience, we're not here to be comfy. Yeah, do you know what I mean? So, again, faith does play a huge thing. And if you don't have faith, this is why I preach about faith or I teach about faith or I stand in faith because ultimately you don't know what you don't know, and no one's gonna wrong you for that. But when you're introduced to it, it's your duty to either be curious and lean in or to reject.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

So, when you say faith, what do you mean by that? What what what faith in this day and age that we're living right now? What would you say? What was faith? Have faith in what?

SPEAKER_02 42:40

My faith is personally in the most high. I'm someone that's very knowledgeable with all things that are esoteric, and so that also gives me some guidance, some some type of insight to what happens within and around life, and that's my personal way of navigating that that helps me, and it can help many because you know, astrology or numerology, these things give you insight to yourself enough to know what you're meant to be doing here, but having faith is beyond that because you shouldn't lean upon these things, and these things are tools that help you to navigate, but you are meant to learn you. Yeah, you are meant to develop a personal relationship with the most high, ultimately.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

Okay, but what about someone who's not into that stuff? Like, okay, cool, right now. Then if you're if you're just okay, so people wait a second, wait a second. For people that listening right now, yeah, and they're going through what what we're gonna they're going through what we're talking about right now, yeah, cool. So you're saying you've got to have faith. And I'm saying, well, not everyone has faith. There's I'm saying in this life that we're living right now, where most of us are coming from, there's not enough to what are we being what there's not enough to be faithful about. So I'm saying right now what when you say faith, what do you mean? Listen, and and remember, there's not every not everyone's spiritual. So how do you appeal to it? Everyone is spiritual. Not everyone believes in that stuff. Let's talk about let's how do we get something that everyone can do that? Everyone navigates things differently, and

SPEAKER_02 44:00

This this part, but also I trust that everyone's born in this lifetime with guidance of some kind.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

Okay, let me just read because for instance, I don't really in all that so when you say most high and like have faith in the most high, I hear that, but I don't live my life as spirit.

SPEAKER_02 44:15

I don't really Did you ever grow up knowing any type of spiritual base?

SPEAKER_00 44:20

I grew up in the church. Right. So that's through my my because of my upfront bringing, my Caribbean upbringing, naturally, I was my nanny. And that's a lot of black people. A lot of us are Christianity or Islam. When I got to a certain age when I started to kind of whatever, I then kind of took a step back from faith on a whole because I'm not really too sure about all of that. So again, without getting too much into that, someone like me, when I'm hearing you say, Well, you know, in order you gotta have faith in the most high, I'll be honest with you, that would go right over my head. So if I'm someone that's going through that right now, that bit of advice right there would literally not do nothing for me. So that's why I'm saying, how would you apply that to everybody?

SPEAKER_03 45:01

Why do you get up every day and go to work?

SPEAKER_00 45:04

Because I, in order for me, the lifestyle that I want to live, you need to have for my lifestyle, you need to have money to be able to sustain the lifestyle that I'm living. So that means, unless I win the lottery, unfortunately for me, I wasn't born into royalty, I'm not an aristocrat. Unfortunately for me, no rich woman's come along and taking me up. So I've not put none of that. So yeah, do you get it? So I've had to live a modest life.

SPEAKER_03 45:28

Do you think you're you're in survival mode every day?

SPEAKER_00 45:31

100%, 100%.

SPEAKER_03 45:33

See, this is what I'm saying. Your survival mode looks different to somebody in the streets of Brazil. Yeah. Do you get what I'm saying to you?

SPEAKER_00 45:40

So it's economy as well, though, in it. Like UK's economy is more like built than Brazil. So we have to translate it. Do you get me?

SPEAKER_03 45:48

Not necessarily.

SPEAKER_00 45:49

We have to translate it.

SPEAKER_03 45:50

Not necessarily. There's like here, there's rich and there's poor living. I live in growth, yeah. They live on each other. Do you know what I'm saying? They're on each other's laps. Like we live in the same ends, but one's rich and one's poor. So their daily struggles are different. Do you know what I'm saying? And I feel like that's the whole world. Like, you go to certain places and it's the same thing. So just because you feel like this is your struggle, to some people, like struggling is just getting food on their plate in a day. Do you know what I'm saying to you?

SPEAKER_00 46:20

So But we again we have to look at it to like again, when you're saying Brazil, and when you're talking about the UK, we again Brazil's not as as built up as UK number one, and number two, Brazil's bigger than the UK. So when we're talking about poverty, there is gonna definitely be larger scales. Do you get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 46:40

I'm just using Brazil as a lot of my point was is that a man that from Brazil that had a life where it was hard to get food every day, to him, you're living on the other side. Like I said, there's a thin line. So one survival where you're just going because you have to eat and you know what I mean, and function, and then the other side is it of it is goals. So they will look at you as you've got goals, but you're in your living.

SPEAKER_00 47:07

Let me give you an example. Yeah, okay, cool. So that's that's interesting that you say that. So you see, when I go to the Caribbean, I see my family in the Caribbean and Jamaica, it's funny because obviously, you know, they're not as you know, they're not as obviously well off as us, whatnot, and obviously, you know, whatever we can kind of give, they appreciate. But it's funny because for me, the one thing I always try to explain is that listen, I get how I look, and I understand how to you guys, how it comes across. What you need to understand is that if you come over to the UK and you see how I'm living, yeah, yeah, I'm pretty much living how you're living in Jamaica over in the UK. It's just it looks because UK is more of an established, you know, because we're such consumers as well. So naturally, it's gonna look the scale is gonna look different. But when you actually come to I'm not actually, do you know what I'm trying to say? This holiday for me was when I come back from this holiday, I do manipulate the next pretty much. Like, yeah, I can only do this once a year. Do you get that even then? It's a lot. So again, like it's about the skills, but I understand what you're saying, which is why, even in them moments, I will still give. Yeah, you know, they're asking for whatever I will still give because I understand that even in that in itself, that's for you. Do you know what I'm trying to say? But again, it's this it's this for me, it's the skills, in it. I wouldn't say I would still still say I'm in survival mode. For me, living in the UK, I'm definitely in survival mode for living in the UK. Do you get what I'm trying to say?

SPEAKER_03 48:30

I think there's different types of survival mode as well. Because, like, even for me, I feel like I'm in survival mode still, but I'm healing. Do you know what I mean? And like, there's been many different levels of healing, and it looks very different at different times of my life. But I had when I had my youngest kids, he was like, as soon as I had him, he would had to go to intensive care. We were in there for uh uh six weeks, and then he came, he was still on oxygen when he came out for two weeks. So I feel like I was do I was just on auto mode from then. I was doing dealing with him and then going home having to deal with the other kids. Do you know what I'm saying? So I still like feel that I'm in that bubble and I'm trying to come out of it. So again, I feel like everyone's survival mode looks different. Do you know what I'm saying? So and then there's different spectrums of the survival mode, do you know what I mean? You could be literally at the start where you're like there's no help, like there's not even a question of what do I do, it's just I'm stuck, do you know what I mean? And then there's the other side where you're trying to heal yourself or find your journey or whatever it is, you know what I mean? It's too so and then there's the part where you actually do find it, and you still have to keep thriving.

SPEAKER_02 49:40

Honestly. I'm gonna come back to what you said.

SPEAKER_00 49:42

I want to say one thing about you quickly, Jean. Because even the one thing I would say is that even in knowing you throughout the years, seeing you, and whatnot, half the stuff that you talk about, I would never know you've gone through half this stuff. Like the way that you carry this, the way that you're kind of just like, even when I see you, just in general, like you've always kind of been very like, I would never know that there's things that I would never know that you're in survival mode. If you want to call it that. I don't know if you want to call it that. Don't let me put something on, do you get me? But like, I would never know that you go through the things that you go through. And and for me, it's everyone in it. And like it's I'm just basically trying to reiterate what you're saying, that everyone's survival mode looks different. So I would look at Shanna and I'd be thinking to myself, oh you know, she's getting on with it. She seems like every time I see her, she's bubbling up. I would never know that she's got where she's gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 50:31

You don't think about like what is a person going through when you look at it, and there's that thing where people go, How are you? And you're like, Do you want the real answer? Or do you know what I'm saying to you? So red here or green or blue or something. Yeah, like so I get it. I do get it.

SPEAKER_00 50:46

So, Shannon, what was your point?

SPEAKER_02 50:47

You're gonna Yeah, I was gonna come back to what you mentioned in regards to faith because I feel like it is a very important thing, and like I said, with us being spiritual beings having this experience, it's it's it almost for me essential that we acknowledge our spirit within the experience, and you're not wrong to say that many people then have a disconnect with faith. I've had disconnect with faith at points, and so I can only share with you from how I found uh how I've come to this point because I was grown up Christian at some points because my family is just so diverse in belief systems, there's Islam, Islamic faith followers, there are Christians, there are uh atheists, there are, you know, there's just everything. So growing up, I've always had insight to different belief systems, and seeing that, I've always then been able to question what it is I was taught and told in church. And eventually, when I had gone through like my own set of traumas and things, and I was in a place of complete disarray, I disowned any part of that knowing and chose to then pursue life on my own path without acknowledging any higher being or any God of any kind, you know, not not thinking there's never a God, but not acknowledging because what's that gonna do for me now? Yeah, and then it was at a point of being in complete despair where it was like, you know what, I need direction, I I need something more than myself. And I didn't resonate at first with you know just the Bible and what it was saying. So I tried, I really did try, and I tried to like consistently show up in meetings and learn more. And for me, that wasn't fulfilling me because what I needed was to really start engaging with myself and getting to the root of my problems, and that's only through knowing self. So after that point, it was first obviously because one thing about religion is there's a beautiful way of which it will guide you with discipline, and it will guide you with wisdom that is always and possibly never not going to be valid to your experience of life. You can apply certain things and it will always help you find your center. But when you get to a certain point, you're gonna want something else. But even in that, there's there there's needs to be a base, you know what I mean? So the spiritual journey that I've it that I've embarked on isn't for everyone because I have seen people do it and get lost, seen people do it revert completely back.

SPEAKER_03 53:25

I was gonna say, when you were talking, it actually sounded like my story as well. Do you know what I mean? So I did the same thing, but I became Muslim. Yeah. So I but I had to search as well.

SPEAKER_02 53:35

Even at that, when you do, when you do have some type of a base, it helps so much. Yeah. So given that you said you grew up Catholic or Christian. Christian. Okay, sorry. But given that you said you grew up Christian, I would say if that's what your base was, go back. Because you can learn way of then grounding within yourself, you know, ground with the scripture, really listen. But then if you feel like you need more, keep to the discipline and seek more. Please listen to me, Claire. Because I'm not telling you to disregard.

SPEAKER_00 54:07

Yeah, let me sorry, because what I was saying before, I was obviously trying to make a point, but let me be clear. Obviously, to be honest with you, again, because of my upbringing, yeah, I would say my if there was a faith I was to follow for me, it would be church bringing. Because I would say my core values is pretty very much church, the church. I still, Christmas, I still consider that birth of Christ, family time, whatnot, Easter. I still celebrate that. Um, you know, all the all the kind of anything that's kind of biblical, I still very much kind of follow that. And do you get what I'm trying to say? For me, those those periods for me is time black, yes, or family, times when you kind of it just becomes it's that time when you kind of you know things just become a little bit more enlightening in your life, I feel. Do you get me? So that's what I would say, but then I like but what I'm basically trying to say is that I wouldn't say I live my life basically god-fearing.

SPEAKER_02 55:04

Well, I wouldn't say I live my life like by the church, and you shouldn't, and I still stand by that because then, like I said, grounding with yourself is a whole different spectrum of being because you don't have a congregation behind you to tell you when you're doing right and when you're doing wrong. This is now where you have to trust your own internal compass, and it's when it's going to be necessary that you keep to discipline so you don't feel dis like you're going astray, and you ground frequently so you can hear clearly what's coming into you. You know what I mean? Especially as spiritual beings, we're always going to be given guidance. This is what this is what I'm trying to point at. Once you was ordained to be on this earth, you was ordained with a mission. You was ordained with everything around you that you need. It's not easy to believe when your life's not in the right place. Yeah, but even the not in the right place is a part of the journey because in that path, in that place you're in, you're still receiving what can then help the next person. Like now I speak and I help people that are going through herpes, that are experiencing adversity. Do you know what I mean? I speak of these things to help others because the the the experience is necessary, but it's not it's not going against you in any way. So then it's it's really grounding again, like I said, so you can hear and you can follow. And you're not following, like like I addressed the most high God, right? This is this is what all spiritual teachers before us had connected with and taught others to connect to. It wasn't a Quran and it wasn't a Bible, and it wasn't a Torah, and it wasn't anything that was written, it was intuitive knowing, it was insight from within to your direct source. And you have the ability to connect to that source. Fasting is the quickest way for you to realize how much of yourself you need to reconnect to and find yourself again. Cut out everything 24 hours, just 24 hours, and I promise you, from that point on, you will start to see things differently. Do that for seven days, and it's a 360. And as you're doing it, take care of your temple, go for a walk, go for a workout. You ain't got a membership, that's cool. Go to the park. My favorite gym is the park. I don't have a gym. Do you get what I'm trying to say? Like, it's not it's not impossible and it's not even pricey. If you really want to eat well, cut out the shit. Basically, all the things that you're buying to feed your body ain't feeding you. And the things that you do need to buy don't cost half as much. Go eat watermelon for one week.

SPEAKER_00 57:40

I'm drinking a bigger as you say that.

SPEAKER_02 57:42

Respectfully, I ate sweets earlier. It's it's it's it's it's time and space, and it again, it's just the foundation. It's the foundation that's necessary to then be bestowed within the wisdom. Like it's it's it's not something that's that's that's foreign to you. It's you. You understand? But if you're distracted because of all the things you're consuming, take yourself away from your problems, and then you will hear clearer how to deal with them. That's that's that's where I stand with faith because I've experienced the faith. You said you've experienced me my whole life, never thinking I've gone through things. My whole life, I've gone through things. You know, it's never been easy stepping. But at the end of the day, I don't walk alone. So when you see me, you're not just seeing me, but you're seeing my spirit because that's my armor, that's the thing at the front of me. I don't look tired. Why? I've been given gifts of makeup. I'm very tired, but I can do my makeup. You know what I'm saying? I can do my face, I can beat it down to the point where you never see a single mark of tiredness, but that keeps me going. You understand? Like, there's there's we're not here without tools. We didn't, we wasn't thrown from an abyss. It's intentional that you're here. This this this part of knowing takes time to really learn. But as you do this and as you trust in in the guidance that's being given to you, and you follow it, you will see why. So for me, it's like I can trust unknown because I've seen myself receive from the unknown. Do you get what I mean? I haven't gone from point A to point B without having to go through the complete darkness with a blindfold. But even with the blindfold, what I do have is myself. I have a connection of my body. So I will take care of me, I will do yoga, I will meditate, I will, I will journal, I will get up at the 5 a.m. when the world is asleep and I will hair clear. This is not just for women, it's for men. Anyone can do it. It's it's it's it's what would you call it? It's fell-proof. If life is heavy, take a step back and you will find the faith you need because it's in you, it's not really in anything else. But go to your base. I had to go back to Christianity to get hit. Do you get what I mean? Yeah, and so I value Christianity.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:18

Take the lesson, but keep growing. And then you can let the dots as well. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:24

I wouldn't even say your base is like your faith. I would say your base is like you, like if you're telling me to go back to revert to my base, I would then revert that to myself. So I would then look at the things that I don't know what I what I'm what makes me happy, or what I would like to see change, what I'd like to see different. I would just kind of just literally just take a step back and think about what the things that are maybe keeping me stuck, and then look at the things that I would want in my life that would maybe stop me from thinking that way, or even feeding that energy, and then how I can do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:03

So you know the way out.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:06

Yeah, I again it's not exactly for it's for everybody though, in it. Like, do you get what I'm saying? Like, for everybody, it's the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enough stillness. Do you know what is with me? You see, with me, when I get into moments and I get in myself, I reset in it. But I don't mind that though. I don't feel no way. Like I would just kind of just lock myself off from everyone. I would just kind of just there'll be the moments where I just kind of just I'm on my own thing to get me. Like, I just won't really even holler at no one. I'll just maybe just work home, work home. Maybe whoever's just in and around me personally, like, or if you come and check me on a random thing, yeah. But if it is not that, then you're not seeing me, you're not hearing me. Because right now, I'm not even you need to get right. I'm just saying, that's that's what I do.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:50

I have to sit with myself sometimes and understand what I'm actually feeling, not even what is going on on the outside. Like, cool, why am I feeling this way in this situation? Do you know what I mean? So I think this is healthy.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:01

And before I used to kind of feel guilt, I used to feel like no, man, I need to keep holding at the mandum or keep holding at my friends because like when I do go grow, it's like where are you doing, man? Like, I mean, hear from you and dah da da da. But you know, you see, in this life, sometimes you just need a break, you know, because you know what, you know what I you know what happens, you know what happens? Cool. It's like you know, you know what it's happens, yeah. What I've noticed. You see, sometimes when you just kind of just settle and you just get comfortable, what you will see is just everyone will be around you, but everyone will just be around you and getting on, and just getting on with it and moving on, and then before you know it, when you look around, you just look left and right, and you just look like everyone's gone and left you, and you've just been that same place that you was. So you see, sometimes when everyone's just kind of getting on with it and doing their own thing, you can't see that that at that moment there, whatever they're doing, it doesn't involve you, they're doing whatever they need to do to improve their life. So at some point, you need to stop giving yourself to that, and you need to also take your step back. Yeah, and that's what for me improve your life. Do you get me?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:00

Because you don't want to you don't want to see your people progressing, you ain't going to where you want to get to.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:05

And not even in a in like a way of hating, but just in a way of like, cool, if this is what that it's everyone, it's all of us, isn't it? Like all of us need to be putting our weights at the end of the day. No one doesn't want to be slapping, or no one doesn't want to be the one being carried, you get me. So at the end of the day, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:20

I agree with you. And how I see us, like as as I feel like we are all part of one body, you know, and we're all like individual cells within this body. Every cell has to operate at its highest of frequency to be able to do its job properly. Yeah, and if one is falling, we are due, we are, we we should want to pull that person along. Yeah, do you get what I mean? But at the same time, you can't even do that if you're not overflowing.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:46

So we have to fill our cup, and you've got to be in an environment where they also do know what I mean. You feel like if that happens to me, someone else will come. Someone else, yes, pick me up when I need it as well. So healthy balanced. Yeah, so to wrap it up with today, our conclusion, you know, be with people and get help if you need it. There's so much help, there's so much help that you're not alone. Come to my mirror workshop. Yeah, come to my mirror workshop. But um, yeah, we'll see you next time. And if you've got any comments and stuff that you would like us to bring up or you know, discuss at a later date, we'd love to hear what you have to say, especially on the topics that we throw out every week. But yeah, peace and love, guys. Peace and love.