Dedicated Dads Defined

No perfect dads—just dedicated ones. The Dedicated Dad’s Podcast is a space for real conversations about fatherhood, parenting, leadership, and legacy. 

This episode explores the conversation of what a Dedicated Dad is. The host Mr. Bishop is has his Master's in Finance from Fordham University and is the father of 4 wonderful children. He has full custody of the children and describes how his story of being a Dedicated Dad came to be. today's episode. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

My mind be deep in the future while thinking about cards. And never the bullet stiff thou character floor. The moment I know my baby go slip in the fall. Pray first, right through it all. Begin above it's hard. Knowing the influence that I play from the star. Strip a down of identity deep in our heart. The gender wars are confusion to stop and nothing the motives they forget who they are.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Welcome to Dedicated Dads Podcast. I am your host and creator of the podcast, Mr. Bishop. Uh I created this podcast because there are a lot of dads like me who are dedicated. But we don't have a community to share experiences. We don't have a community to share thoughts, to ask questions, to get help. And so that really is what spearheaded the dedicated dads online movement, which is why I created the podcast to give us all a voice, to get lessons from other dads, to hear input, to make sure we're not just crazy because the things that we think or the things that we're going through with our kids. And dedicated dads, our slogan here is there are no perfect dads, just dedicated ones. The dedicated dad podcast is a space for real conversations about fatherhood, parenting, leadership, and legacy from the everyday wins and challenges of raising our kids to relationship, discipline, personal growth, and purpose. This podcast celebrates dads who show up, stay present, and lead with intention. And that is very important. Our kids today are sorely lacking leadership. It's a world where we're watching more and more of our kids become followers. Not many leaders. Kids see a trend on TikTok or Instagram, and before you know it, that dance, that move, that saying is caught on like wildfire to the point where kids are going viral for things like 6'7, where the kid is just talking to his mom, and because other kids lacking the leadership, lacking the discipline to be individuals, they copy it. And now it's all over social media. It's being said in school. I saw a challenge or a trend the other day. My daughter was watching on her phone where somebody screams out, That's my man. And it's a boy screaming out to another boy while he's shooting a free throw to break his concentration. But of course, because it's online, it sweeps the nation. Happens in every school, happens in every high school gym, AAU tournament. And it's because the kids today are learning more so how to follow than to lead. And it's sad. I'm not saying that when I grew up in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, that everyone was running for president. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is kids today need leadership. They need to be taught how to lead, how to stand apart from the crowd, not just to copy and emulate everything they see. And that's important. There's some statistics about dads being present in a home versus dads not being present in a home. So just to let you guys know, children raised in a household with both parents, whether biological or STEP, consistently demonstrate higher academic success and financial stability. In education alone, children with actively engaged fathers are 43% more likely to earn A's in school and 33% less likely to repeat a grade. Think about that. If 900 kids are in a grade, 33% of them are less likely to repeat the grade simply because dad's at home. Whether that's biodad, whether that's grandpa stepping in as dad, whether that's stepdad. Conversely, young men who do not grow up with their biological fathers are half as likely to graduate from college by their late 20s. Think about that, guys. Less likely to graduate from college in their late 20s. So we're talking 26 and beyond. Half as likely. Now think about it. Put it into context, most people graduate high school 17, 18, 19 on the on the far end, depending on birthdays and how school districts allow people with late birthdays to come in. But even so at 19, you should graduate college by 23. It's four years. We're not talking about doctors, we're not talking about masters, we're talking about bachelor's degrees. Less likely, half, half as likely to graduate by their late 20s, which is crazy. Also, poverty. Children without a father in the home are five times more likely to live in poverty. Now, what does that mean? Of course, to the naked eye, you'll say, Oh, well, that makes sense because of the lack of income. Yeah, that does make sense because of the lack of income. But as well, fathers who don't live in the household also do provide child support. Now, I'm not saying that child support makes up the whole gap, but a father that's in the home and working and present, the children have access to more of that father's finances, not the 14 to 18, 22, 29% that states would mandate, depending on the number of kids you have. And then even as the kids grow, the income follows them in this trend because adults who grow up in households without their biological father earn 26% less annually. Now, in the world we live in currently, I don't know many people in the middle class, lower middle class, upper middle class that right now could take a 26% pay cut. I just don't. With everything being as expensive as it is, regardless of who's in the White House, gas is still expensive. Eggs, bread, milk, bacon, still expensive. Rent, car insurance, car notes, still expensive. And that has nothing to do with who's in the White House. So on this episode, I wanted to talk about a couple things and define what a dedicated dad is. So the first thing I would like to say about being a dedicated dad is it's love and sacrifice to be a dedicated dad. At its heart, fatherly dedication is about just putting the child's needs before your own. This means making sacrifices of time, resources, comfort so your child can grow in safety, confidence, and well-being. Now, what does that mean? That means as a dad, a dedicated one, you're willing to put yourself secondary to your child's needs. Whether that be for their necessities, obviously, food, clothing, shelter, but also some of their wants that are within reason. Now, I'm not talking about the kids who ask for the moon and stars. I'm not asking for that. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about being a dad who sacrifices his time. I know you have a long day at work, but when you come home, your child also needs time. I'm not saying that you have to run into their room as soon as you get there, but you have time to decompress yourself, depending on what time you come in from work. Speak to your children, see how their day was, invest some time into them. Resources. Resources are not just money. It's not. Resources can be a ton of things. Kids that are into woodworking, it could be tools that you have. That's a resource. Your knowledge to your kids is a resource. Hey dad, how do I do this? To be in a posture where your kids can approach you and gain access to your knowledge, to your experience, to your expertise, perhaps in something. To sacrifice yourself for your kids' comfort. And this is a big one. Because I know as a kid, there are a lot of things that I wanted to be comfortable. But I grew up in a single parent household with my mom, and my mom didn't have the resources to always make things comfortable. Now, what do I mean by comfort? I mean stuff like the sneakers that the kids asked for. When I was a kid, I wanted Jordans just like everyone else, but I couldn't afford Jordans. My mom could not afford Jordans. I wore payless sneakers until I was in the fifth grade. My first pair of name brand sneakers were the Deion Sanders in 1994-95, the 49er colors, the black, gold, and red that are just now being re-released in 2026. I remember those days. The sacrifice of comfort. So I'm not saying to do it if you don't have the means to, but there are parents out here who walk around with the sneakers, who walk around with the iPhone 27s and the newest Apple Watch and the newest Samsung this and the 100-inch TVs, and your child doesn't have a dresser in your room. Comfort items, the extra blanket, those stuffed animals that the young ladies like to have on their beds, those kinds of things, sacrificing for the comfort of your children. And then love. Providing love is not only putting a roof over a child's head, but not only saying the words, I love you, but they're action items, showing your child that you love them. Whether that be a hug or a kiss, whether that be words of affirmation in the morning before they go to school, whether that being picking the child up when they're down because they weren't successful at something that they were trying. That's love. That's love in action. That's sacrifice. Next topic I want to talk about is guidance and discipline. Now, this is a big one in today's world because a lot of kids are lacking guidance, like I said in the beginning, the leadership qualities, but also lacking discipline. You can see that by tuning into the news. We see kids acting crazy everywhere. And I'm not just talking about the unfortunate events where they go to school and they bring something that they shouldn't bring and they cause mass casualty or injury. I'm not just talking about that. I'm talking about kids doing things like these challenges, jumping out of a moving car in neutral and twerking on the side of a road. I'm talking about the videos we see online with young boys punching old people in the face to try to get a thrill. Now, I'm not saying that none of these things existed when I was a kid. I'm not oblivious to the fact that there were bad people doing bad things or good people doing bad things when I grew up. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is it's on the rise. Now, sure, the internet gives us more visibility into these things because when we were growing up, we didn't have the internet. We had the dialogue when it first started in its infancy. So I'm not saying that it wasn't prevalent, but we certainly didn't see about it on the news every night. The news didn't contain stories about teenage kids acting crazy, running into Apple stores, snatching the demo phones off the table, going into jewelry stores with hammers and masks and backpacks and just smashing all the glass and stealing stuff. So it's important for us to show guidance and love and discipline to our kids, to bring it to a spiritual place. Fathers are called to bring the kids up in training and admonition of the Lord. That's Ephesians 6 and 4. It's a personal belief of mine. Meaning they should teach moral and spiritual principles, set boundaries and discipline with love and patience. Now we all know our kids are going to make mistakes. It's not about the mistakes our kids make because we're all prone to make mistakes. My grandpa used to always tell me something. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying. There's no way to do everything successfully every single time. Mistakes will happen, but it's okay to discipline with love and patience. Hey, listen, man. Listen, sweetheart, that wasn't right. Now I understand or I don't understand why you did or didn't do that thing, but I'm here to help. In situations where you feel lost or you need guidance, come reach out to me or your mom or your community, whether that's a pastor or a teacher or a therapist or whoever it is, a coach. There are plenty of positions in society that are there to help guide our kids. There are a lot of trusted individuals that our kids can lean on, not just us, to get guidance. And in situations where your kids come to you and you don't know the answer, that's what the Dedicated Dads Podcast is here for. You can jump in one of the chat rooms, send an email, hey, this is a topic that came up in my household. I would really love some advice or information about it. And here, Dedicated Dads will do everything we can to bring a panelist on who has that expertise, who may be able to speak to some of the things that you are going through as a father. Fatherhood is difficult. I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, but it would be a lot easier if you had other people help lift that load. How many fewer mistakes could we make? How many improvements could we make by hearing something that may have worked for someone else? And it's okay as men to get together and speak about those things, to help lift each other up, to help encourage one another because men get down too. It's not just women, it's not just kids. We need help too. Which leads me to my next point, which is role modeling. Very important. Children learn by example, not just what we say, they learn by example. A dedicated father lives out of integrity, kindness, and faith, showing them how to believe and how to think. Now, when I say believe, I'm not just speaking from a spiritual or religious standpoint, but how to believe in oneself, how to depend and lean on yourself when times get tough. That's what a dedicated dad does. They show their children how to think and have belief in themselves. There are a lot of people who fail today because they're scared to try. They're scared to try because there was no one in their early years to tell them, hey, it's okay to try and fail. Again, if you don't make a mistake, if you don't fail, you aren't trying. Dads being present, teaching their kids how to live out of integrity and kindness is a big thing. Kindness is huge. Not just manners, being kind to people, helping less fortunate people, lending a helping hand without having being asked to do so. And that's one of the things I can say proudly. I feel like my son is one of the most stand-up young men I have ever met. My son will offer help regardless of the situation, whether it's trash, whether it's bringing groceries out of the car, whether it's cooking dinner. So it's not just the things that require physical strength. Sometimes it's emotional. My son comes and checks on me at least three or four times a week. Hey dad, how's your day going? Everything going good? Did you have a good work meeting? How do you feel today? That's kindness. That's emotional wherewithal to be able to see his dad, knowing that this is his leader, the person he's looking to for guidance and strength, but to also be able to come up with kindness and speak to me and say, hey dad, how are you feeling? And dads, it's okay to teach our sons to do that. It's okay to teach our daughters to do that. Ultimately, one day we want our kids to be married, we want them to have families, we want them to be successful in work. And having kindness not only toward co-workers or the person that they're in a romantic relationship with, excuse me, is a huge thing. Teaching young ladies to be kind toward their husbands, teaching these young men to be kind toward their wives and kids, their bosses, their co-workers, their subordinates. It's not just a respect level for the people who live in our house, but the people who live in our community. Our neighbors, our police officers, our firefighters, our military. Doesn't matter. Teaching kids simple kindness goes a long way. And along with kindness comes the emotional support that kids need from us as fathers. Fatherly dedication includes being a safe haven for your kids. A lot of people don't know what that means. Safe haven doesn't mean the kid gets in trouble and they run inside and all of a sudden all the problems disappear. A safe haven is, hey, dad, I made a mistake. I need that advice that only can come from you. Whether that's a kick in the pants for making the mistake, whether that's a okay, you'll get them next time message, but a safe haven, somewhere where they can run with that secret, somewhere they can run with that problem, that issue that maybe they've caused for themselves. And as a dedicated dad, you sit, you listen, you sit in a posture of listening. Allow your kids to express their emotions. Don't get upset with them if it comes out the wrong way, because that happens from time to time. We've been there, I know I have as a young man. I'm speaking and I'm frustrated and I'm huffing and I'm puffing, and I don't mean to raise my voice. And I'm a New Yorker, we're naturally loud. But I sat and I watched how my mom responded in those situations. My mom didn't, who do you think you're talking to? My mom didn't go upside my head, my mom didn't ground me, my mom allowed me to speak. Then she gave me the advice I was looking for, or gave me a resource or a way to find the information or help that I was looking for. And then after that moment passed, my mom came and said, Listen, I know that last situation was tough. What I need you to do is work on how you're presenting that information to me. Present it in a respectful manner. And that's all she had to say. I got it. Okay, mom, I get it. Maybe I won't come to her as soon as the thing happens unless it's a life or death or an emergent situation. It allowed me to learn how to speak to my mom and how for my mom to be a safe haven. And dads, that's all we're talking about here. Be a safe haven for your kids. Somewhere that kids can run to and rely on speaking to you without fear of judging them. Now, kids make mistakes now, but everyone makes mistakes. Their mistakes may be different than ours, they may be a little more foolish to us, but still mistakes, nonetheless. So just be there for them. It helps them to build trust not only in you, but the information that you give them. And also gives them self-worth because nothing is worse as a kid than making a mistake and not having anyone say it's okay. Now I'm not talking about repeat mistakes of the same sort, but kids should be able to come here and say, hey dad, I made this mistake, and I know it was stupid, I know it was foolhearted, but I need your advice. You're the one person that I run to I can trust and that I know will listen to me without judgment and tell me how you feel. That's important, fathers. The last thing I'm gonna say to you, dads, is be encouraged. Work hard for your kids, work hard for yourself, be the man that you want your sons to be, be the man that you want your daughters to marry. Allow her to see a man who works hard, who is compassionate, who's caring, who's kind, who's loving, not only to them, but to their mothers. Now I understand not in every situation that dads and moms are still together. However, in those situations, you can always show kindness. Your opinion of that person as it relates to being in a relationship, way different than what it needs to be if you are not in a relationship. I always say, I don't give my opinion of my kids' mom to them because the relationship I had with her was as a spouse, not a mom. So regardless of my personal feelings, that's her as a mom, has nothing to do with anything. Those kids are her kids. I don't have that relationship with her. I never have, I never will. I will never wake up in the morning and call her mom. I will never rely on her for comfort or peace or love or affection. So I can't speak to them as to her ability to be a mom. Not have my opinions about her mothering, sure. But those are my opinions to be kept to myself. My kids' relationship with their mom is just that they need to figure out what that is. They need to know this is what I can rely on based on the input. Is she giving me the love, the sacrifice, the guidance, the discipline, the role modeling, the emotional support? And allow them to make their own decisions about her ability to fulfill that role. It's not my place. And dads, it's not your place. You can do that at the barbershop. You can do that with your friends and family, but not around your kids. I'm imploring you, please allow the kids' relationship with their parent, their other parent, to be. Important and sacred to them. It's not your place to give your opinions on that person, even when asked. Because again, your perspective is coming from one of a partner, a romantic interest, a love interest. There's never been one day where you walk through that door and she was your mom, unless y'all entered some freaky stuff. But even then, it was short-lived. It was for a moment. So, dads, please continue to be present. I understand there's situations where people have to fight for the rights to see their kids. Be encouraged. Never give up. I was in that situation. I went through it. I have full custody of the three of mine. I went through it. I went through the allegations of abuse for a while. I didn't get a chance to see my kids because the court mandated that we had to have a third neutral party present. And of course, the person I was dealing with didn't agree to anyone in my family. Not my mom, not my pastor, who was a police officer, not my uncles, not my aunts. So the judge ordered that this person had to pay for a third party to sit in and watch me spend time with my kids. There was a point in time where I didn't see my kids for six or seven months. And it broke my heart. It hurt. But you know what I didn't do? I didn't give up. I didn't use the excuse of, well, if your mom didn't make it so hard, it has nothing to do with them. My job as their father was to show up. My job as their father was to fight for them. Because I know not only the statistics, but I know how it feels personally growing up without one. And so to that, to my own father, I say thank you. I thank you for not being present. I thank you because it showed me how to do the exact opposite. I remember times hearing my dad said he was going to come through. I had those moments where on a Saturday my mom told me, Oh, yeah, your dad's coming to pick you up at nine o'clock in the morning. And I would wake up early, I'd do my chores, I eat my breakfast, I'd iron my clothes. And I'm talking about young, eight, nine, ten, eleven, and sit on the couch all day through the summer waiting for this person to show up who wasn't going to show up. And he never did. Never. And that's okay. That was his choice. But because of the choices he made, that allowed me to see that kind of role model. Okay. I remember that hurt. I remember that disappointment of sitting there waiting, of the stuff that I wanted to ask him to learn from him that I couldn't learn because he wasn't available to me. A lot of things in life were delayed because of that. I didn't learn how to ride a bike until I was 13. I ran for most of the fights that I should have been in as a kid, simply because I was scared, because no one told me how to keep my hands up or bob and weave or what to do if somebody grabs me. A lot of lessons I didn't learn. So when my dad reintroduced himself in my late 20s, I was already a father. And the day before he was scheduled to come see me, I broke down because I started to think about things. Not the things from my childhood. That's fine. That's water under the bridge. I'm 27 now. I broke down because I couldn't tell you who my father was. Yeah, I know what he looked like. I had pictures of him. Him and my mom were married when I was a kid. They divorced when I was two. I saw my father again when I was 12. He whooped me for getting suspended from school and then told me, in the most laughable comment I think I've ever heard from a parent, don't make me come back over here. In my head, I wanted to get suspended again because it was the only time I saw him. But at 27, I broke down in my car, sobbing, snot coming out of my nose, eyes red, headache, because I didn't know who my father was. I didn't know my father's birthday. I didn't know my father's favorite color. I didn't know what his laugh smelled like. I didn't know what his neck smelt like. As a kid, hugging your dad. Your dad has a certain smell, whether that's his axe body spray, whether that's old spice, whether that's his favorite cologne. I didn't know what that sounded like or smelt like. I didn't know what his favorite food was, his favorite color, his favorite sport. I didn't know any of that. And that's me as a 27-year-old coming to that realization of how much that hurt. And I vowed from that moment that this would never be my kids. Hopefully I'm on this earth a good long while, but if I'm not, my kids right now would know who I am. They know my favorite color, my favorite snacks, my favorite football team. They know what my laugh sounds like. They know what my voice sounds like when I'm disappointed in them. They know what my voice sounds like when they're in trouble. They know what I sound like snoring because I do that a lot. They know my personality, they know me. And fathers, I'm imploring you. Know your kids. There's nothing wrong with speaking to your kids. There's nothing wrong with you being present for your kids. Show up for those kids. Lead them intentionally. Guide them. Don't give them the answers, but guide them. Show them that it's okay to make mistakes. Show them that errors are human. But always show them that the mistakes they make, the errors they make, the successes they have, the triumphs they have, you'll be there for all of it. There's no perfect dad, just a dedicated one who shows up every time, who leads, who loves, who encourages, who guides, who disciplines, who emotionally supports, who financially supports, and most of all, who sacrifices. Whether that's time, whether that's effort, whether that's resources, money, whether that's sleep, do that for your kids because not only do they deserve that, but that's what you deserve. You deserve that love and respect. Father's Day is important. It's coming up this week. There are a lot of fathers out there who are just fathers biologically. Step your games up. Be present for your kids. Don't take no for an answer. The court system, although does not seem fair most of the time, can be. But you know what? Don't be afraid to try. Because in my situation, I tried and I succeeded. And I made sure that judge heard me. These are my kids too. Not just hers, mine. I'm working hard for these kids just like her. I deserve every parenting right that that other person deserves as well. Don't be afraid to be there for your kids, fathers, to fight for your kids, and to fight for yourself. Because you have rights as a parent to see your kids just like everyone else does. I understand the moms get glorified in court. I understand the moms get glorified in public. It's always, I'm gonna thank my mom and my dad, and that's fine. But you as a father have every right that that other person has. Exercise your rights fully to be present in your kids' lives. Don't take no for an answer, and always fight to put them first. So for me to you, dads, keep going, keep pushing, keep up the good work. As always, you can follow this podcast on all the streaming channels, whether that be Spotify, Apple Podcasts, if you want the video podcast, we also are on YouTube. So tune in there. Like, share, subscribe. Not only the shorts, but the full episodes. They're available for free. There are dads that need to hear these messages. Maybe you, maybe a friend, maybe a church group, maybe a community member, maybe another soccer dad, or a basketball AAU dad, or football dad, or a coach. Don't be afraid to share information. Fathers from me to you, keep going. Happy Father's Day.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Outside the boards of my own. My artist promotion driven by ego alone. The broken bowl that I hold on, stone that I throne. Prepare themselves in the moment. I smile in the light, learning to hell on my own. Like in my body is drawn.

unknown 30:32

The way to be a bit of a.