Getting to the Retreat - Episode 3

I pulled into Austin, hit up Jack’s Kitchen right across the road — fried pork chop, fried green tomatoes, a sangria — go, trust me. Then I made my way up a winding back road through the most beautiful trees to Within Center at AWKN Ranch.

The property is tucked away, earthy, and peaceful. Think big shade trees, Mexican clay tile floors, and a vibe that just tells you to slow down. It’s not flashy. It’s intentional.

Everybody I met my first few hours was very kind and helpful. 

My ketamine session is tomorrow at 10. Tonight is Sound Garden in the temple. 

#KarriKennedy #Katabasis #WithinCenter #AWKNRanch #KetamineTherapy #WellnessRetreat #MindfulnessJourney #IntentionalLiving #SlowDown #HealingJourney #MentalHealthMatters #SoundHealing #AustinTexas #PersonalGrowth #SelfDiscovery #WellnessJourney #TraumaHealing #MindBodySoul #IntentionalDescend #Podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

All right, let me catch you up to where we are. Um, I'm doing a lot of episodes just so that you guys can really go on the journey with me. Um, it's only been two days, and this is episode three. So um I think I'll even do an episode four in a little bit. I'll explain why. Um, so I got into town around, I don't know, 12 45, 12 30, something like that. And instead of coming straight to the retreat center, I decided to go to this restaurant that was um in the reviews, really, really amazing restaurant. It's called Jack's Kitchen. It's literally across the road from here, basically. And um, I had the best food. I'm just gonna tell you, if you get to go to Jack's Kitchen in Austin, Texas, it is uh yummy, yummy. I got um fried green tomatoes, uh sangria, and then I had a fried pork chop with mashed potatoes and vegetables. It was so yummy. I usually get dessert when I go out to eat, but I was so full and it was just really wonderful. So I highly suggest that. After that, I got here and I was concerned with the directions when I took my right into the place because it said turn right, and so I did. I looked at the address, it was the right address, but it was this um really pothole-filled uh road up, and there was a lot of turns and twists, and I wasn't sure which way to go. There wasn't a lot of arrows pointing. I think that's an area they could fix and work on. Um, once I got up here, I didn't know where to park, where to go, any of that. Um, I did meet somebody along the way, and they said go up the hill kind of thing. So I knew I was at the right place. Um, but it's not like front and center, and it's very easy to find. It's very hilly and up in the mountains kind of uh hills, I should say. And uh once I got up here, I did find out that I went in the back entrance. So I actually haven't seen the front entrance, but it's it's just a different back road to get here. It's not some huge, you know, hey, here we are. Um, it's very tucked away. And uh when I got here, some girl, I can't remember her name, I think I've met like 20 people already. Um, I just kept meeting person after person after person, and um everybody's very nice. I ended up meeting one of the counselors, and I'll figure out her name later. Um, but everybody was very welcoming, smiling, hi, hugs, how are you doing, that whole kind of thing. Um, so I felt very welcomed, definitely very welcomed. And uh the building itself that I'm staying in is like it's like an old ranch house. They've maybe did some fixing up to it, but in my mind, from hearing different people, I thought they were adding like this whole, you know, fancy, schmancy whatever, and it's not. It's very earthy, it's very um modest. There's no bells and whistles here. I mean, uh all the walls are white, which I guess could give it a zen kind of feel, but to me, I I'm not a big fan of all the white. The the walls are white, the ceilings are white, the curtains are white, the shutters are white, the everything is white in the room I'm in right now, except for the blue uh bedspread. And so it's a little too white for me, but that's maybe just a preference thing. Um in the rest of the house is very nice. And I'm just speaking about my bedroom, and I'm not saying it's bad. I mean, it's a nice room. I just not a big fan of such a vanilla flavor here. Um, the floors are Mexican clay tiles, which are very cool, and it's got a ranch feel to it. The kitchen's very nice. I met the chef. She actually said to me, I'm going to H E B. Is there anything you want? And I I ordered a uh Snickers with almonds because that sounded good to me. Um, dinner's gonna be served at six o'clock, and then at 7:30, which I think I'm gonna take you guys to, um, is the uh Sound Garden thing, which I've never done sound garden. They say it lasts about an hour, and I figure I could just record during that. So that will be the next upcoming episode. Um, I am in a room right outside of the room. There's a pool, an actual swimming pool. Um, there's a temple, which I have not gone into that's up the hill a little bit. That's where that, you know, sound garden thing is gonna be. I can maybe describe it sometime throughout. Um, there's also a cold plunge, a hot plunge. There's uh rooms down in different, I'm not sure what all the names of the buildings are, but um it's not super expansive. I feel like this is all within like two acres, maybe three acres. Uh, I think they have 12 acres and they're planning on expanding. Um, there was uh some guy here that's a tech guy that's staying in an RV down the way that I met. Uh, there's another guy who does uh landscape and groundskeeping things. Uh, there's another guy that does maintenance and fixes things. There's just a lot of people kind of roaming around and hanging out. Um, and I talked a little bit to different people here and there, but then after that, I went outside and I laid down on the most comfortable outdoor lounge couch thing. And I fell asleep for, I don't know, all of you know, five, 10 minutes. But it was just very nice and tranquil. When I got here, they didn't have music playing, and I said that I kind of thought that there would be music, and they quickly, you know, got my music and turned it on, and it's just this nice, peaceful, tranquil. Um, I think it would be cool if they had some water features somewhere. That's my only other thought is water features um with the sound of water would be nice. But other than that, everything is, you know, just really great so far. I thought, well, I don't have anything to do until tomorrow at 10, which is when my ketamine session is. And so I thought, well, maybe I should go, I don't know, antiquing or go to a mall or drive around somewhere. And then I was like, no, because what I'm supposed to be doing is stopping, reflecting, chilling, not go, go, go. And I think that in itself is going to be a big transition for me. Like, I'm gonna work on it, we'll see how ketamine goes tomorrow, but just disconnecting. Um, I do that at home when I read. You know, I'll go sit out by our pool and we'll have the fountains on and I'll just read out there, and that's a good disconnect. But the second I walk back in, it's like, oh, I got a vacuum or I got a pack or I should list stuff or I should take care of the laundry or, you know, get the boys to get their dishes done or whatever the chores and tasks are. And uh one of the kind of things that happened is they said, when you when you make a dish, you know, if you if you get food out or whatever they showed me, there's a kitchen and there's a fridge and there's all this stuff. And I brought them some Bucky nuggets and uh, I don't know, different some taffy and some cherry sours from Bucky's, and they were very thankful for that. And they put it in this little candy area. They have all these little sections and cabinets that you can go to. But they said, if you eat, you know, just wash your dish and put it over there. And I was like, whoa ho. Was like, I'm on vacation. If you're gonna tell me that I have to do my own dish, I might not eat. I was just kind of joking, but kind of not, because I'm paying a lot of money for this, and I did not think dishes were on that. And uh, I really don't want to do any housework or chores whatsoever. Like, I just am like, nope, done, checking out of that. I just feel like that has been such a everyday grind on me right now. One of those monotonous things that I know we all have to do, but like I've just been really perturbed with it. Um, I live with two teenage boys, and everything from when they cook, they're not wiping down the kitchen countertops just drives me nuts. The table, my kid eats cereal, he leaves a spoon. I mean, just the things that happen when you have kids have just been grading on me a lot lately. And so I don't want to come and do tours or cleaning or work. Not that just doing a dish here and there would kill me, but um, I'm I'm really wanting to disconnect, not do a lot, and and really force myself to think and reflect and not just go into books. Um, I think books are uh, I don't know. It's always books have always been a retreat. Even when I had six kids and life was busy, if things got really stressful and I was feeling overwhelmed, I'd be like, okay, kids, let's come and let's read books, you know. And while books are wonderful and great and, you know, all of that, just sitting with myself instead of feeling like I have to do, I have to do, a go, go, go, go. I think that is something I'm going to try to be intentional about and really think. Okay, what am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing? What are my intentions? Um, you're supposed to bring a journal with you. And honestly, I've got my journal that I left out in my car. Um, oh, Heather is the girl who helped me up. That's her name. Very sweet girl, um, woman, I should say. She's 51. Um, but she helped me with my bags up and she gave me a tour of everything, and she introduced me to other people, and it was it was really nice. And so I think I'm I'm going to definitely enjoy the experience and the relaxation aspect of it. Um I think that if you're thinking about coming here or to any of these, you should definitely see, you know, how talk to somebody who who lives here, does this, has gone through it kind of deal. Um, I think it's it's they have a chef and she puts out the food, like a continental kind of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I think breakfast is served around eight or so, lunch around 12 to 1, and then dinner six to seven type thing. And uh, you can bring your own food, your own drinks, whatever. Um, but I'm assuming that at six o'clock when I go in there, there's gonna be a bunch of different people, and I will get to meet new people and talk to different people. And I I really love the idea of the community and meeting and talking to new people. Um they asked if I had any allergies. I just said I hate cilantro. Other than that, there was nothing major. Um, yeah, that's basically it. Everybody's just like, we're glad you're here. We're excited for you. You know, welcome, welcome, welcome. And um, that in itself is very nice because a lot of the time, just personally, I feel like in my own house, um, I don't feel a lot of safety. I feel like if I say something to my husband, he's gonna get triggered and get defensive and we're gonna have an argument and there's gonna be a fight and what all that. Um, and then with my kit, teenage boys, it's like I don't even want to say anything or do anything because sometimes, well, they're teenagers, number one. And number two, um, you know, they might be doing something and they, yeah, yeah, mom, we'll get to it. Or I don't want it. I feel very dismissed. Um, I think that's been a feeling I've had for quite some time now, being just dismissed. Um, my four kids have dismissed me. I feel like my husband, you know, he'll sit on his phone, not even look up to me when I ask him a question. Just very dismissed in life. So to be seen and to be heard and to be cared about, I think those things are huge to me right now. And not that I don't have friends, but really in my life right now, I I feel like this is something I need, not just a want. I I need to feel loved and cared for. And um, maybe I don't, as a mom and a wife, really get that at home. Um, and I know some people's families are better at that than others. Mine has been up and down throughout the years, but we are definitely on a low point right now. Uh, the boys play a lot of video games, they've got their phones, they're in their rooms, they're doing their own thing, and mom asking for help isn't really what they want to deal with, you know? And um, while they'll help me here and there, it's not like it's their whole purpose in life to help mom. And I get that, I get that. Um, but I just feel like a lot of the time I'm, you know, whatever, whatever, you know. And so um, yeah, it's very nice. Um, what else should I say? I think that's probably it for episode three. I am going to um I'm probably gonna go up there. I don't know when I'll record next. Maybe even at some at dinner. We'll see. But I'm gonna record the sound music for episode four. And uh yeah, we'll go from there. All right, see you next time.