The Descent Begins - Episode 9

Today I experienced the journey for myself.

Guided by meditation, music, and ketamine, I moved through colors, textures, sensations, and images that were difficult to put into words. Time seemed to stretch, ordinary moments felt different, and the experience unfolded in ways I never expected.

This is a raw, real-time account recorded just hours after the session.

#Katabasis #PurposefulDescent #KetamineTherapy #MentalHealthJourney #HealingJourney #PersonalGrowth #SelfDiscovery #Transformation #EmotionalHealing #InnerWork #Mindfulness #PodcastJourney #HealingInProgress #Resilience #AuthenticLiving

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Okay, so uh this recording is coming after I did ketamine. It's at 410. At around 2.30 we did ketamine. I got the injection. I guess it lasted about 45 minutes or so. And then afterwards, our guide Heather, she brought us from the yurt into the house. Um, it was a group session this time. It was myself and uh a guy, and uh the two of us did it, and this time I felt it, and uh they gave me a higher dosage than last time, and that was good. Um I'm outside now in the backyard by the pool, and I'm feeling better. Um, it's a weird kind of feeling. Like I know I have drugs in me, I know that there's you know ketamine in me, my brain feels a little weird. Um, walking over to the house from there was definitely uh I felt like I I needed assistance. Uh Preston did better. Well, yeah, there's his name. Uh he walked ahead of me and uh he was actually doing really well. Um I was not as as safe walking by myself. Um I feel like there were some really cool elements in this. She had us um about five minutes, I would say, before we got the ketamine treatment. She told us that uh we needed to meditate, and she kind of talked about, you know, thinking about your toes, thinking about your feet, your ankles, and kind of just meditating and thinking and moving different parts of your body. And also she had us breathe in and breathe out and do some just meditative kind of calming nervous system things. And as we did that, um, then we got the shot, and then all of a sudden I was like, Am I doing it right? And then boom, I was in it, and I don't even know how to explain it, other than in my mind, I felt like I was in places, and it it really moved with the music, and she came along with like rose water and sprinkled it on us, and that affected it, and it that was really cool. Um, but it just felt like you were kind of um moving it if you if that makes sense. You're not moving, you're just laying there on the little uh pad um with pillows and everything. But uh yeah, I definitely feel like I was moving a lot, and I saw things that weren't really things, it was more like an organic type thing, kind of like when you um bite into an orange, you know, like all the little bubbles and the parts of an orange. Um, that's the best way I think I could describe it. Or I would see things like um kind of that were more earthy, kind of like the bark on a tree or the texture on a rock, that kind of thing, or or whatever. A lot of textures, colors, uh feelings, vibes, whatever. It lasted for about 45 minutes, I guess, and then at some point I felt like it was either the music that made me come out of it, or or just where I I don't know, but I I lifted my my little they give you a face mask, I guess, black face mask, and I lifted that up and I saw her, but it was like really bright because the sun's coming in through the top of the yurt, and I was just like, Oh, what is that? And uh so I put the put it back on, and then I she said, but it's best to let your take when you do come when you're coming out of it to just let your eyes open up um slowly to take that off and then let the sun penetrate through your eyelids, and then to do it. And I was like, Okay, I got this, I got this, and so I did that, and I feel a lot better. Um, she walked us over to the house, and then I guess she left. Um, I kind of feel like somebody should be with me right now, but I guess there's no need to be because I'm just sitting here, you know. Uh, I'm totally fine. Uh, but I do feel like I'm still on drugs uh of some sort. Um, and so she said you'd have this feeling for I think for up to like three to four hours, but then when I talked to him, he's like, it'll last maybe another hour or so. And I was like, okay, that's cool. I didn't know. Um, it seems when we got back over here, another thing that seemed like it was taking forever. Like, I was like, I need to go to the bathroom. So walking to the bathroom, walking back down the hall from the bathroom, those things seemed like they just took a really long time. Uh and now I'm out here talking, and I look down at the at the deal, and I've only been talking for five minutes, but it feels like I've been out here a lot longer than five minutes. Um, so time is a little warped, I think. Um earlier they said you definitely need to go to the bathroom before you have your experience because you know you don't want to have to get up in the middle of it. Um, so I went to the bathroom, he went to the bathroom, we talked to the guide for a while. She's had a lot of experience, she's done a lot of different things, and she's been a guide here for over a year. Um, and she was just really wonderful. I just really she did a bell in the very beginning as we were doing the meditation, and I just feel like she was wonderful. I was worried and a little nervous because um I liked the other girl that I had the first time, and I felt like I knew her and and that was gonna be a good experience. So I was this morning when I found out first of all that it wasn't at 10, it's at 2, and then that I was gonna be with Heather instead of Christina Joy. I was kind of upset, but now I'm okay with it. Like I think that that it worked out and it was wonderful and all of that. So I feel better about it. So um, I think the thing is now trying to figure out food. Um, I guess we thought there would be food provided when we got done, and there is. The chef isn't here today. Um, but she did make chili for us, but chili doesn't sound good to me. Um, Christina Joy is coming and she's setting out some snacks, if you will, and then we're ordering food out from somewhere. I'm not sure where we're getting food from. Um, and it's it's kind of weird because today is a Monday, and uh I've been here since last Wednesday at 1.30. So I've been here, let's see, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. So I've been today is my fifth day. Um, and five days and three hours is how long I've been here now. And um, I feel like I know the place really, really well. I know the people really well. I've I've got a sense of it all and the vibe. Uh before this today, I went down to Goodwill and went shopping. I just got some books, but uh it was as one of the ladies says, it was picked over uh during the weekend. So you gotta go like on a Thursday or Friday instead of a Monday, and I I get that. Um give them time to stock. So um, and then last night there was a a festival, or it's not a festival, it was like a I don't know what it was, honestly. But it was up at the sacred temple, and there was a lot of people here, and uh Preston went and he there was fire and he took a video of some girl. I went up there for a short period of time and videoed Preston getting, he met some guy. Well, we both were we were together. Um he got on uh nails, he had these actual copper nails, I think they were, and you stand on them and you know, whatever. I think you lasted like 12 seconds, but uh that was going on, and then they were doing something, it was it was called a fire ceremony, I think, and and they were you know saying prayers and there was food, and I I think later on there was dancing, and there was the girl who played with fire and all kinds of stuff. And then uh I I stayed down here at the house, and uh somebody came and said, Come on, come, you gotta see this. And uh I walked outside and they showed me the moon, and it was like this amazing, beautiful, beautiful moon. And uh later on we tried to take a picture of it, but I think overexposure it didn't look like it did when we saw it in real life. So, but um yeah, so just kind of been hanging out over this weekend. Um, I don't even know when the last episode was Thursday. Yeah, my last no Friday. I did an episode on Friday, and today's Monday, so all weekend I didn't do a podcast, but we went um, Charles, one of the maintenance guys who works here, and I went to uh a garage sale, we went to farmers market, we went to a grocery store, and we went to some resale stores in this like little strip center, and uh one was called the room vintage. So if you get come down here and get a chance to check it out, the room vintage was really cool. Um, and so we had a lot of fun just doing that kind of thing. I I got um some magnesium for the bottoms of my feet, and um we got some specialty teas, and we had um I got some blueberry ginger ale. Uh it just it was a it was a fun time. There's uh we drove like 22 minutes to this festival. I can't remember the name of it, but that was uh I not festival. Why do I keep saying festival? It was a farmer's market. Um, so that was good, and I I appreciated that. Um, right now we're supposed to be either eating or they said we could go swimming, they said we could take a nap, we could do whatever. I think Pris Preston went to take a nap. And uh there's just people moving here and there around the facilities, and I'm just sitting here out by the pool. But um yeah, I mean, and then yesterday, I don't even know what happened yesterday. I'm like, what did we do yesterday? Honestly, I I mean that's it. I I think we just kind of hung out, we didn't do anything major, or actually that was the festival day and the the fire ceremony. So yesterday was the festival and the fire ceremony. So then I'm like back to Saturday. Oh yeah, Saturday I got way too much sun at the pool, and uh I got a lot of sunburn. And so if I sit out at the pool today, I've gotta be on my stomach because I definitely got too much sun the other day. And today um I didn't eat because they want you not to have any uh any food three days, I mean three days, three hours before you go in. And um so I had a few berries this morning, and that's it. I had a little bit of pomegranate Italian soda, nothing else, and so I'm I'm really getting hungry and tired, I guess. I don't know. I'm not tired, but I'm not wide awake. I'm just kind of in this weird, weird vibe. Um but they've got music funneled out from the house, and it's just like this cool, calming, kind of spa-like music. It's pretty cool, and I appreciate that. And I see butterflies right now floating around. I mean, actual real butterflies, not visions or anything. Oh my gosh. Um there's a lot of butterfly uh plants that they love, and they just float around over here by the pool, and so it's pretty cool. Um, but yeah, on Saturday morning, I guess it was, or Friday night, Saturday morning, I got uh some new pool uh floaties, and that's where I kind of hang hung out and just really enjoyed the pool all day Saturday and just didn't do a whole lot of anything. Um, so it's it's been a nice relaxing time. I I said I wish that my journey was meeting God and Him like giving me a memo with what to do, but it wasn't like that at all. And uh somebody said, I I I pray that that's what you get next time. I said, Okay, me too. I would really like that next time. Um but I I wonder how long the effects of this will last because I'm thinking about it, it's almost well, it's 423. So it was about two hours ago that we got injected, um roughly almost, and uh with the ketamine. And I I definitely don't have answers, but they said that there's gonna be clarity and that you should journal and think about things, uh stay away from social media, they said, take naps. Uh yeah. So we'll see if anything comes to mind or if I have a dream, or they say that's possible too, that you go to sleep and then you wake up with this, you know, realization or you know, imagery or dream or thoughts or clarity on something that you might not have had before. So um I'm I'm looking forward to that. I think uh that kind of gets you up to to place. We're gonna order some food tonight. I'll probably last night I watched uh the rest of the movie from the night before called The Swan Song. Um yeah, it's uh it's a movie on either Netflix or Prime or something. Um but yeah, that's about it. I I don't know. Maybe I'll go swimming, maybe I'll eat and then watch a movie and then go to bed. And tomorrow we'll meet with Heather again, and she's the one who does the integration to talk about like what we saw, what we think, how we're feeling, all of that. So that's kind of where we're at. All right, that's it. We'll see you next time.