A Hard Nut to Crack - Episode 11

Today was a slow one — lingering headaches, a nothing day, stuffed peppers that hit different, and a whole lot of waiting. But tomorrow is Session 3 with Heather, plus a massage, and I’m ready.

Hashtags: #KarriKennedy #Katabasis #KetamineTherapy #WellnessRetreat #HealingJourney #MentalHealthMatters #BrainHealth #ChristianWellness #Neuroplasticity #TrustTheProcess #RealTalk #WellnessJourney #IntegrationWork

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Well, it's about 6 30. Um it's the next day, and uh what has really happened? Well, one of the things that's been going on since the very beginning, and I'm not sure if I've said it in here, is the fact that um I've had headaches and not done so well with headaches. Um they said it's your body and your neuroplasticity and all of that. Plus, you get depleted for minerals and stuff. I was supposed to have an IV on uh, you know, like afterwards, but I I guess I don't know, that kind of didn't happen. And so they ordered, I told them today, I have a headache still, it's kind of lingering, it comes and goes, but I've definitely had more headaches here than I normally do. Um, I had three BC powders when I got here, plus I've taken um a leave and I've taken um ibuprofen. I've eaten, I've drank, everything. And they're thinking that now I need to take binders like a charcoal just to get any toxins that are you know being released or whatever out. And then also um somebody's bringing minerals tomorrow, um, just like a vitamin mineral thing. So I'm really hopeful that that'll all be better. Um today has been kind of a I don't know, I had a meeting with a lady this morning. It was more business and thoughts and whatever. Um, and I talked to her for about an hour, and then nothing really has happened the rest of the day. I took a nap earlier thinking I could get rid of the headache that way. I did not. Um, I've eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner today. Like, for example, I had granola for breakfast because that's pretty much what there is. There's granola and uh bread, toast, avocado. If I wanted to cook something, I could have done that, but the the uh chef wasn't here yet. So had granola. And then for lunch, what did we have? Oh, I know we ate something, but I can't remember what it was. I can't remember. And then tonight was probably my favorite meal, actually, besides um grilled cheese and avocado toast uh with bacon and egg. That was really good. Um, but this was, I think she said it was her grandfather's recipe, and it was stuffed peppers, and it was such a good comfort food. We just um, in fact, the guys are in there still eating, and I I came outside so that I could record this. But oh, it was it was really, really good. So um at 7:30, we're supposed to do some kind of meditation thing. Um, so I told Preston we've missed the last three things. We really need to try to get up there and do that, either because he was asleep and the schedule was like, well, he's not here, we'll push it back, we'll push it back, whatever was happening. Um, lots of transition going on. Like I said, this is the first week back after the remodel. And so um still trying to figure out what that kind of looks like. Um, I'm hoping my headache is completely gone before I go up there at 7:30. And I wish it wasn't so late. I wish it was at 6:30 or 7 o'clock. I feel like 7:30 pushes me to 8:30, and then I've got only a little bit of chill time before bed. And I don't know, I just I wish it was earlier, but um, I don't make the schedule and they don't ask me. So, um, but hopefully I can get to bed. I'm hoping by like 10, 10:30, because at 10 o'clock tomorrow I have my next ketamine session, and this will be the third ketamine session. The first one did not go well, the second one went really well, but uh yeah, afterwards I had some issues, it didn't feel so good, the headaches, all of that, and uh integration with her talking about like my my life and the things I'm trying to process and the the way I'm trying to change and all of that. That went pretty good. I think tomorrow um I also have so the girl who's doing it, her name is Heather, and she's been in this business for like 15 years. Uh, she had an addiction problem back in the day, and she has done all kinds of things and really knows a lot about the brain and all kinds of treatments. She's a masseuse. She I don't know. She has so many credentials and just very informed and smart and capable. And I just am really impressed with her. Um, so I my plan is 10 o'clock with her, and then at four o'clock, I have a massage with her. She's a massage therapist too, and they're gonna get me a massage. So I'm super, super happy about that. So tomorrow, just the ketamine and then that, and then I guess the next day we'll do what they call integration, and it's just basically talking about your experience. I'm not sure like if you have to go to school to learn what that looks like, or if that's just you have to have a counseling degree, or if it's just talking through. I I really have no clue. I I think that'd be a thing that I would be curious to find out. Um, but yeah, so I'm excited about tomorrow because today has pretty much been a nothing day. I thought about going outside to get in the pool, but then somebody would be out here. Um, because one of the artists is getting ready for a show on Saturday, her stuff and her people have pretty much been everywhere, and that's fine, but it really didn't give me a place to go or to be. So I felt a little frustrated by that situation. If if I went into the living room, there was somebody. If I went into the kitchen, there was somebody. If I went in the front room or the back room, there was just people everywhere. So it was, I'm sure if I had looked hard enough, I could have found a place. Um, but they also were mowing and weed eating, and it just seemed with my headache, like it was just people and things everywhere, which made me think, you know, there is the idea that you could get a hotel or, you know, wherever a house, an Airbnb or something like that. And you could easily um, you know, come and just do the sessions. The thing is, you you can't drive afterwards. So somebody would have to take you, take you back. And or if you were here by yourself, like my friend was, you just take an Uber back and forth. Um, I don't know if I'm gonna stay this whole second week up here or if I'm gonna get a hotel or what. I decided not to make that decision until tomorrow and we see how things how things go. Um, I also think that there might be something else on the schedule, which I'm not sure of. I just I feel like I need to try to give it a little bit more chance um and just see how things go. I think it's also too. Um, somebody said some nuts are harder to crack, but once they're open to you know, the benefits and and what what happens, uh, it's it's really sweet inside, is is what they were saying. So maybe I'm one of those hard nuts and um I just gotta, you know, whatever. And I I'm not sure what exactly I'm supposed to be thinking about or processing. Everybody's like, journal, think about that, you know, what I don't really feel like I have a clear direction on that. I know how I feel, I know my grief, I know my heartache, I know my sadness, I know all these things, and I can process them and I have the head knowledge, but I think we have to move from that to the heart, soul, spirit, mind kind of thing where it's all in alignment with truth and you know, maybe some coping skills moving forward. Um, I I just I don't know. Will I be a different person after you know four or five treatments of this? Will I see things differently? Will I perceive you know different people different ways? I I don't know. I really I don't know. I mean, I'm I'm hopeful for tomorrow. Like I said, I I feel more comfortable with Heather because I feel like she's got such expertise. She's done this herself, she's done other things. Um, and she's just very knowledgeable. And I've I've learned a lot, a lot about all kinds of stuff that I never had a clue about, honestly. Um, just have really, really learned a lot. Um, you might be hearing guys in the background. There's a pickleball court up at high, and they I guess they have some kind of membership or something where you can, you know, come and use different facilities at different times or something like that. I thought they were gonna be up there playing pickleball, but instead it's a bunch of guys who are doing boxing. Um, and they're, you know, they've got the gloves on and everything, and then there's a bunch of guys around them. So it's uh, I don't know, maybe 12, 15 boxing guys up there. So um, there's always something going on today. I found out there's a chiropractor, uh Evans. Uh, he is here two days a week, and um, he has he rents out like a room, and his chiropractic clients come up here and and meet with him. And I thought that was really cool. I was like, I didn't know that there was a chiropractor on site. I would like to go see him, you know, maybe, or or have that option. Um, and they're still figuring out things and bringing new people in and trying new things like that. So um that's exciting. Um, so in the future, I I definitely see more of that kind of stuff coming through. Um, but anyways, we watched Jimmy Neutron at my at my request with the with the guys, because we had been kind of joking about just different people and comments here and there, and so we watched Jimmy Neutron, and um now I'm gonna go up and do that meditation thing in like an hour, so I'll probably read a book after the podcast here, and then hopefully my head feels better before I go up there because I still have this headache and I just it's very frustrating. I've just been feeling a lot of frustration. Um, I went online to just look it up and Googled it and everything, and it said um that it can be two or three weeks uh after all the stuff before you really um get back to your normal um because your brain is literally changing and it's a lot. And so um I just put Celtic sea salt on my food because they were like, you need minerals, you need minerals. So I've been drinking coconut water um and just trying trying to get better. So this is something I did not anticipate or think was even an issue or a situation. So yeah, and uh, so that that's kind of it. Looking to forward to going to sleep and everything that's planned out tomorrow, and uh maybe at some time, yeah, you know, Charles and I'll go into the stores or something. We had talked about going to home goods or uh central market, some just different things like that. So maybe there'll be that too. But once again, if my head doesn't feel good, I I'm just not gonna be able to do it. Um, all right, and that's it. So I'm gonna check out now and uh we'll see you guys next time. All right, bye bye.