Presley's Pod
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Presley's Pod
Second Dates & First Marriages
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This week Presley is back with a favorite guest of the Pod, Addie! They chat about Addie's future first wedding (yes that's correct, there will be multiple). Addie has a specific rock she'd like on her finger and Presley has no idea where she wants to get married, it just has to be around 5pm. There's a second date story time that they dissect, and not to spoil the ending... but it's disappointing. Presley also gives some advice on finding joy when everything is pissing you off! Enjoy!
Okay. Shall we cheers? Be shall. Cheers. Yay. Nothing like a crisp dicho. Nothing like a crisp energy drink. Okay, you guys. Welcome back to Presley's Pod. Happy, happy Sunday. I have Queen Addy back on the pod, and today we're just gonna chat. I love that. Like, I want to ask your opinions. Um, neither of us are married. We haven't been to a lot of weddings, none of our close friends have gotten married, but I want to ask your opinion on weddings. I love to talk about things that I know nothing about. And first things first, I just want to say I woke up this morning just like agitated. Why? Just like really angry at just everything. Well, also, I mean, one because like the men just unfortunately keep like disappointing us in this world. Yeah, and we like just a new thing every single day, and I'm like, well, one thing after the other. Yep. And so then there's that, and then I woke up and I had stomach pains. Last night I had stomach pains. This morning I had stomach pains. I think I can't eat beans. Okay, well, have you heard the bean song?
SPEAKER_00No, beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you chew, the more you toot, the better you feel.
SPEAKER_01So let's have beans for every meal. So there's a lot of fiber in beans. That being said, um, that's probably why.
SPEAKER_02I'm so obsessed with you. You just you've never heard the bean song. No, I haven't. And I think I have to, I think we're I think it it comes in waves. I'm like, okay, no more hummus. Chickpea's also fiber, yeah. Yeah. But I thought fiber was good. I'm so confused. It is, but just in like not a lot. So there was that. Okay. And then I also think if I wake up in the morning and I don't do something to like leave my house early on, then I'm like, It's like I also think I'm like, maybe I'm getting my period. Probably. Because it's been so off with like I got a new IUD. I'm like, is this a little bit of a few years?
SPEAKER_01Well, and like all of your stress and like what's happening.
SPEAKER_02And I think that's why I was telling Addy earlier, like, I'm feeling fluffy. And I can't like quite I mean, yes, and you can't like get rid of it.
SPEAKER_01Like there's sometimes right.
SPEAKER_02I love a cookie, I love an ice cream, I love a sweet treat, but I'm like, not none of that has like really changed, but I feel like I'm getting, and then I get stressed because I'm like, oh, or like new hormones, like ID, like gaining weight. Like, I don't know. So I'm just a little like on edge, but it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. I drank, I like cracked open an energy, whoa, energy drink, and I was like, okay, Presley, like, grow up, you're fine, you have nothing to do diet therapy, and then I had a telehealth appointment with my gastro. I didn't tell her about the beans.
SPEAKER_01Okay, like that's probably why your tummy hurts is the beans. I'm gonna be honest.
SPEAKER_02And I was like, but now I'm feeling like pain, so I'm like, I wonder if it's just like some gas or something. I'm thinking, and it's just like moving.
SPEAKER_01But it's like low. So after we do this, I have a little like colon trick for you if you want to like massage your belly. No, it's like just it's like a belly massage, like lymphatic drainage, like a little bit, but it's like for like to release like some depression and like release some tension.
SPEAKER_02You know what I was thinking too? I know that um a spray tan and getting my nails done would make me feel better, and I'm not I'm trying to find more things that are internal to make me feel better versus like materialistic things because a spray tan never killed no one. Because I'm like, how can we fix this problem now? And so this sounds really cheesy, but something that I've been like trying to do recently is I'm like, what's gonna bring me joy in this moment? Like, that's what I asked myself. I'm like, what's gonna bring me joy? And I'm like, I love that. Marie Kondo, your body. Oh, stunning. Do you know who Marie Kondo is? The the clutter.
SPEAKER_01She's the declutter, and she says, Does this bring you joy? You would really ask. Yeah. So you're decluttering your body.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm like, what I what can like bring me joy right now? And so then I like put on music and I put on superior carpenter and I was like, this is bringing me joy. And then this sounds really cheesy, but I was like, okay, you guys are hanging on my thread. I was like, okay, how can we like feel the joy? So I was like, okay, Presley, pretend. No, please go. No, I was doing it on the train the other day because everyone on the subway was pissing me off. And I was like, I cannot with any of these people right now.
SPEAKER_01I was like, the trains be pissing me off too. I was stuck for 40 minutes today.
SPEAKER_02You were, and I so I can't say anything. No, you can, you can. I was like, okay, feel the joy and feel like a smile like radiating like down through your body. Like, think about something that's gonna bring you joy right now, and just like feel it. It's not working right now, but just feel like it's working for me. I love it. I feel it's like my toes. Exactly. And then I was like, okay, Addy's come over, like it'll be okay. And then after I'm getting my lashes done, and then like I'm going on a day night with my boyfriend. So, like, so what a good day. Like, what's the issue? Did you not sleep well? Also, I have a really weird dream. No, I had like a really screen. No, I don't know. I'll tell you after. I had like a really weird dream. So maybe that was it, and maybe it just is like festering through. Yeah, and then the beans probably and then like a TBD period. Yeah, I'll keep everyone posted.
SPEAKER_01There's a lot going on in Presley's life. There's a lot going on.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, that's me.
SPEAKER_01How are you today? Uh, I'm good. I've just been running around. This is actually the first time I've sat, so it's nice to sit. Yeah. You know, I woke up late and then it took me way too long to get ready. That's my name. And then I had to go do laundry and like I had to lug my laundry in the Hulkin bag. Yeah. And that just is like so annoying. But I have to do it today because I'm out of socks. Yeah. So I had to do it, and then I'm gonna do it again on Monday because it's the first day before work. But I had to do it today. I thought we could finish, you know. Um, and then I went and I took a Pilates class. That was really nice for my soul. It felt really good. Um to move in like a different way, yeah. Um, and then what I do. Oh, and then I got stuck on the train for 40 minutes. But I finished my TikToks. So looking at the bright side, finished my TikToks, finished my laundry, finished one load. So the other one is in the dryer, which is like amazing. Perfect. Um, and then I came here feeling amazing, and then you go teach soul cycles, and then I'm gonna go teach soul cycles, and we're going to go see Verity on Saturday. Yes, we did book Verity. I'm so excited.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I was gonna go by myself at 11 a.m. And then I was like, wait, why would I do that? I mean, I really go into the movies by myself. No, me too.
SPEAKER_01I went to the movies by myself last night. Yeah, wait, what did you see? Avengers Endgame, the Encore. There's a bunch of like new ending credit scenes. I'm a nerd. Okay. Ending credit scenes for the new Avengers movie that's coming up. Yeah, you lost me there, but very happy for you. It was very good. Yeah, good, good. A good three hours of my life.
SPEAKER_02Good. Yeah, very happy. Um, okay, I want to ask Addy's like wedding hot take questions. Or no, they're not hot takes, it's just like, what do you want? Because I go back and forth. Some days I'm like, yes, would love to have a wedding, great. Yay! And then other days I'm like, that just seems like so much work.
SPEAKER_01Right. Well, that's what a wedding planner is for. Right. Also, though, have you ever talked to anyone that's planned a wedding or been to a wedding or been part of a wedding that has actually enjoyed like the planning process? Because I personally am not. Right. Like it is just stressful because it is like, it is not just the biggest event of like your year, probably, but it's like the event of your life if you're involved in it. So, like it, you want it to be as perfect as humanly possible, right? It because it's less than or it's more bigger than just like I'm gonna plan a birthday party. Right. You have a birthday party every year. Like in theory, yes, the divorce rate is 50%, right? But in theory, yeah, the wedding is one day. Like that one day. Yeah, that one day, that one weekend, whatever it is.
SPEAKER_02So that stresses me out. Yeah. I also think like hearing people talk about weddings over the summers and stuff. Like, it's like I was talking to our friend yesterday, and she was like, Oh, we have another wedding to go to this weekend. And like, I never want to be, she's like, I went to two weddings last week. Like, I've been up with all the weddings this summer, and I'm like, okay, so first things first, it has to be like a really weird time of the year so that people are excited about it. Uh-huh. Maybe it's like it has to be like a spring or something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It has to be like some random weird time where like no one's going to weddings and then they can be excited about it.
SPEAKER_01I I want to have uh like a December-January wedding. I know you do.
SPEAKER_02And then that's why we want to talk about it. And I have notes. Do I have anything else about me being agitated? No. Great. Oh, don't worry, I'll probably figure it. No, absolutely. Um, okay. Would you, with your future with my future husband, live together before you're engaged?
SPEAKER_01Yes, but it would also depend on the circumstances, because we do live in New York City. So, like leases and like when things start, when things end, this and that, and like, would it be smart for us to move in together, or should we wait until the wedding and then wait for like because ideally, and maybe this is getting ahead of myself in your questions, but like maybe instead of going on a honeymoon right away, or like instead of getting a bunch of wedding gifts, like can some people give us money to put a down payment on an apartment or a house, right? Like, that's what I would want instead of like some crazy like spoon, right? I don't need salad tossers. You know what I mean? I also don't need a salad tosser. Like, sorry, I don't like salad. So, like, why do I need a salad tosser? Go get give your hundred dollars on the expensive salad tosser and put it into an account that I can put on a down payment on an apartment in New York City. So that would it would just depend on that, but also then I I don't know.
SPEAKER_02So I think do you think you could gauge what it would be like to live with that person before living with them?
SPEAKER_01Yes, because I fear I would be obsessed with them and then I would be like I would be like a Velcro girlfriend.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00I would no longer actually live in my apartment. I'd be like this. Hi, I'm here all the time.
SPEAKER_02I've never heard Velcro girlfriend. I wouldn't. I don't think I ever heard him either. I just pulled it out of my ass. Wait, I actually was thinking today just about my boyfriend that just literally I text her and Lauren and I'm like, punch me in the face every time I bring him up because I'm I love him, though. I'm like, he did this, he did this. I love talking about him too. So I was like, is it weird that I'm like obsessed with him? But then you said that just now. So I'm like, okay, it's not weird. No, it's not weird. No, it's not weird. Like that's a good thing, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, like I'm obsessed with you and you're my friend.
SPEAKER_02So like and I'm obsessed with you and you're my friend.
SPEAKER_01So we should be obsessed with the people that we are. We are wise we are dating.
SPEAKER_02Okay, okay. So since you're gonna be attached to this man, your future, your future person. Oh, go, go for it. That living together is a TV D. I not this is not about me. Um, I think I think so. I think I'd want to. But I yeah, but it is hard in New York.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it would just be situational. I mean, ideally, the answer is yes, but also like you gotta make sure that you can exist together before.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think. But I don't you know what it is? I don't think it there should be like a rule where it's like, oh, you have to be engaged before you live together. I agree. No, okay. What would you like your ring to look like if you want to say?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so this is like a crazy question because I have a whole Pinterest board for my weddings. Okay. I don't weddings plural. Well, you you know my theory on on weddings and my marriages. I'm waiting on my first husband.
SPEAKER_02We're anticipating a few, like at least three. Not me like plotting my daughters. Am I gonna give a speech to all three? Yeah. Or or at least like um I'll be present at all three, obviously.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, there'll be something that will happen. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02The Presley's pod will be involved.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we'll have to be.
SPEAKER_02I have a vision of me and Lauren doing like a co-speech.
SPEAKER_01I would love that. Yeah, or yeah, yeah, yeah. Um what was the question? Oh, my ring. Okay, so the first ring. The well, like the big one. Yeah. So I want I want it to be square and I want it to be really sparkly. Like, okay, I I I just want a square. Yeah. And then aside from that, I want it to be really sparkly. Okay. So as whatever that means. Whatever that means, as you interpret that, but it should be big and it should be square and it should be as sparkly as you can find it. And then my wedding band, full diamonds, full diamond ring. Like at all the way, and it's a big one. It's a big one. Like, I want people to look at my ring and say, Oh, she married rich, honey. That's what I want people to say about my ring. Okay. Yeah, I want people to talk behind my back like, whoa, she must have married someone rich. And like, I will, so right. And a girl that knows what she wants. Which is also maybe why I don't have a single boyfriend and my phone is dry, but like No, that's okay.
SPEAKER_02I just know my standards and I know what I want.
SPEAKER_01And like, sorry, it's and that's okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, as you should. Right. I struggle with this a little bit because I really like, if you're listening, I wear this like massive oval on my left middle finger. So you're thinking, like, okay, what would look good next to it? And I have an idea, but I don't want to say it.
SPEAKER_01Okay, don't say it.
SPEAKER_02Because I like don't want the thing is I want this is how I also feel about the weddings and just about all the stuff. I want to do stuff that like no one's done or that like no one has, which is nearly impossible. So it's like I want my ring to not look like anybody else's, but it's like that's impossible. Yeah, you know what I mean? So yeah, but I'm like, what would look good on my hand? That's all I care about. Yeah, I have an idea. Okay, cutie. Anyway, your proposal. Do you want public? Do you care if it's in public or would you prefer a private situation?
SPEAKER_01Um oh, I I have this all planned out. So it's not gonna be disgusting and gross. It's not gonna say marry me. There's not gonna be that. Right, right, right. There's not there is gonna be a photographer hiding in the bushes. Absolutely. If that doesn't happen, I'm gonna send this episode to my future husband. Okay, perfect. That way they can hear this. There's gonna be a photographer in the bushes capturing the whole thing. It's like probably I'm gonna be annoyed about it because he's gonna be like, we're gonna go to dinner, we're gonna do this. Right. And then he's gonna take me to like the mountains or something.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01On an escape. And I don't know why it's the mountains, but I imagine this like beautiful, grand, like back mountain view. And maybe it's like in Italy or something. Okay. And like wearing you in like hiking boots. No, no hiking boots. I'm in a heel. Maybe it's like a restaurant on a cliff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you can go outside like something, something. But there is a cliff and there's a beautiful view in the back. A hotel on the cliff. Yeah, yeah. I would love a hotel on a cliff. And I have this beautiful white dress. My nails are perfectly done. My heels, my hair, the hair looks really good. Like, I have to be ready. Like, someone needs to prepare me. Glam is coming. I need to kind of know that this is happening. Yeah, I have to have an inkling. Yeah. And then we're gonna be on the cliff by ourselves. We we get engaged, obviously. Oh my god, I like have a moment. We have a whole photo shoot. Yeah, and then immediately there's an engagement party following that. Immediately, like everyone is there and it's a surprise, right? And it's a surprise, and I have no idea. Right. And maybe like if we are on like a European vacation, let's say it's 10 days, this is day nine. I'm like, oh, I can't believe we have to go home tomorrow. Yeah, and then suddenly everyone has flown to Italy and it's a 15-day trip and it's so exciting. So that's that's just my engagement.
SPEAKER_02I'm doing some math in my head. And well, remember the ring. Right, the ring, it says that she's marrying Rich. Right, right. No, this is good. This is okay. So that's my engagement. Do you have an idea of yours? Um, I know that no one needs to be around, right? Like if you do it in the middle of dinner at a restaurant, that's such an itch for me. That's such an itch. I do not want anyone else around. That's all I know. And I want it to be Do you want a photographer in the bushes? In the hypothetical bushes. I feel like, oh, this is another hot take of mine. Venue, I personally wouldn't connect with, oh, like, let's go rent this random space that we are just renting just for this. Like, it needs to be like, oh, we went there when we first started dating, or oh, we like went to dinner. I don't know, you get married in a restaurant. I don't know, like it needs to be.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it needs to feel like it's for your partner.
SPEAKER_02Some sort of thing.
SPEAKER_01Like I told you I loved you, like I told you I wanted kids here, like it was like an important moment, important, like a milestone in here, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So I would love for the proposal to be something like that. Okay, yeah where it's like not well, I guess it I don't know. It's specific to your couple, yeah. To your yeah, to your partner and you, so something like that, just not public, and I guess I would want a photographer because we should have pictures, right? Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, I could always say I didn't mean the I think it's gonna be you with your GX, whatever it's called.
SPEAKER_01G7X, G7X. And you're gonna be like, Addie, these are so good. I'm like point and shoot, but it's point shoot. Yeah. Okay. Um, where is your future wedding? Oh, it is in um probably well, it'd have to be like somewhere in the northeast because I want it to be in um like a not a cottage, but like in the woods, it's snowing um and everything is like super decorated. Lux Airbnb. Lux Airbnb. Think like like cabin. Lux, but like luxe. Like yeah, oh like super luxe. No, oh yeah. We don't camp. Yeah, we don't camp. We glamp and we glamp at the four seasons. Um I'm in a cabin in the middle, like there's it's really stunning. The whole back window, it's a triangle and it's open, and you can see the snow, you can see the snow covered trees, maybe a mountain in the back or something, but it's indoor. We are not outside. Yeah, good lord, we are not outside. We are inside, no one has to be outside one single bit. Right. Um, and then everything is like deep reds and blacks and whites, and it's like super chic, and like it feels like uh like red velvet luxurious. Okay. So, but it has to be like somewhere December, January where it's like snowing something, or like it has snowed, and then there's snow covered mountains. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay, look that.
SPEAKER_01So this would why this maybe is another question, but my wedding would have to be planned like five years in advance, maybe three. Right. Because we would have to go and check out the space on the weekends, on the days, like what are we? Are you wearing white? You know, I thought about that, and I think yes, but I also maybe want to wear black, like at some point, like a black feather, maybe a change or something, a feather, a sparkle.
SPEAKER_02By the time you get married, more people are gonna be doing like I've even seen um engagement rings that are different colors. I have seen that.
SPEAKER_01I don't I don't think I would want that because I want sparkles like diamonds, right?
SPEAKER_02But like that's pretty.
SPEAKER_01Would you get one?
SPEAKER_02That's depending on what it can't be a ring, like it needs to be some sort of like I don't know. Right. Yeah, I don't know. I thought about it like, oh, if it's like your person, but I'm not like that into like birthstones, you know what I mean? Like that would be the only way that I would get a color.
SPEAKER_01And ours is red, ours is a blue, which like I don't love. Yeah, I feel like I could do it because I always like I tend to have, I don't know, but I like to do fun nails.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, eventually by then, probably I don't want to have a red sweatshirt with a red phone case saying I don't love but not okay.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, this you can get rid of your phone case. You don't have to wear the red every day. That would be something you wear every day, right?
SPEAKER_02I was thinking like your partner's stone. Oh, or maybe the two stones together somehow or something. I don't know. But then I feel like that's more for people that are into like the signs. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, um, how big do you want said wedding?
SPEAKER_01Uh like I say probably a hundred people. Okay. Because I think that my actual group of people would probably be like 50. Okay. But I don't have like a gigantic family. Like my even like extended family caps at like 20. Yeah. So like aside from that, it would be friends and family. Yeah. The one thing I have to say is my mom is gonna want to invite so many random people, and that is gonna be like random teachers, and then she's like, you need to invite them. I'm gonna be like, mom, sorry. Yeah, that's gonna be a no for me. Like it's it's my wedding, and I haven't talked to these people in years. It's gonna have to be a no for me. Yeah, and I know there's gonna be a few people and we're gonna fight about it. Yeah, but ultimately it's gonna be like my close friends, it's not gonna be anyone that is like yeah, crazy outlandish. Yeah. Um, but then the extra 50 is probably just for hubby. But I like to be honest, probably I could cap it at 40 with my section of the room. Also, then I would not be opposed to like a bigger wedding and inviting a few little stragglers here and there. I don't know. It depends. But the stragglers come in. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I was thinking about it. I don't know like a specific number, but I know that I don't want to see anyone out there that I would feel like that I couldn't fully be myself around. Yes. Because I want to be like silly with my friends. I want to like maybe not like get drunk, but like maybe be tipsy. Yeah, like you know what I mean. I don't want to be on the dance stage and like having fun with my friends, acting silly. And so I don't want to anyone to be there that I like don't know well enough that like yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think that's fair. Bridesmaids? Um, I probably will have like six or seven. Okay. I think it'll be you, Lauren, Cameron, Brianne.
SPEAKER_02That's four.
SPEAKER_01That's four, and then I feel like by the time I get married, there will be people there that I will need to include, or at least of age. Like I was in my cousin's wedding when I was like 14. Yeah. And I was one of the bridesmaids, and she has a kid. She's like six, I think. Yeah. So to be honest, probably by the time I get married, at least my first wedding, she'll be old enough to be a bridesmaid.
SPEAKER_00So I probably should include her.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00Like it's absolutely.
SPEAKER_01So like it's just kind of like, yeah, we're kind of like feeling it out. But I think like six or seven, I just fear that the man that I marry will have so many groomsmen. Like, I think that it'll like knowing who I like foresee for myself and like what that looks like, then I worry how I am supposed to have Are they supposed to be equal? Yeah. So that way they can walk down the aisle together.
SPEAKER_02Right, right, right.
SPEAKER_01Because who I mean, I I don't expect the two guys to walk down the aisle together. Right? Like, maybe like you two. You're up. Maybe I would probably put Tai Zai in my um in my bridesmaid, in my bridal party.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he'd be a bridesmaid. Yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_02Um, Bachelorette.
SPEAKER_01Oh, we're having a big party, but I'm paying for it. Yeah. I do not want it to be a financial stressor on everyone. Yeah. Like if I'm putting on this party, I'm putting it on for you. Like, yeah, I'm sure when we get there there will be little expenses, but I'm gonna wanna have I don't want to necessarily have like theme nights or theme things, but I want to have outfit coordination for each day. Oh, so we're talking trip. Oh yeah. Trip. Oh yeah, like three days. Three days. Because I can't handle being away for that long. Party trip. Party trip. And it's at the beach of some sorts. Okay. Probably like somewhere in America. Okay. The United States. Yeah. Maybe like North America. Yeah. Something sort of. Yeah. Um, but it is like there, it's a trip. Okay. It's paid for by me. I just want outfit coordination, and there's like different outfits. Honestly, there will probably be like a wake night when we go out, and that would be the extent of like the party. Right. But like I don't want it to be like trashy bachelorette. Like, and I think that that's fun. But that's maybe for like the second or third marriage, not the first one. Right. Right. We're class. When you can like almost like make fun of that, you're like, yes, this is my third one.
SPEAKER_02Yay. I'm dead. I just like don't know. For me, that's where I get nervous because I'm like the planning. The planning, the planning, but well see, but then I would pay for it.
SPEAKER_01I would be rich, uh, but I would pay for it, and then I would have probably my friends plan it. That's true. But knowing the budget, I would ask them to plan it and then make it like a surprise for me and give them like different things. Yeah. Okay. So then it's still kind of I will lock in, I promise. Well, it can be a group project, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I see. Also, I don't know if I could have a maid of honor because I have like so many, like all my friends are very close. It's not like I have like casual friends. Right. Right. In in the sense of like a bridesmaid. So like I feel like everyone would be on the same level.
SPEAKER_02Well, I saw Hayden did a phenomenal job planning her sister's bachelorette, and I was like seeing everything that went into that the gift bags, the dinners, the house, the outfits, the like all the just stuff. All the little things. See, I'm sorry. I want a dinner in like a private dining room. That feels right. I love, which like this is giving that I want a bachelorette, but I don't. I love all of the restaurants in Vegas at the win have like private dining rooms that like I always wonder what's happening behind those doors. Let's go there. And I want dinner at one of those restaurants. And like that's it.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's fabulous. And then we'll go out, we'll have like a weekend in Vegas, like at like two nights in Vegas, and that'll be at the win, but like a luxurious Vegas, not like crazy. Yeah, no, and like we go out to say that we went out and take a picture and then come back. Right. Have one drink at like a place, right? We have a dinner, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like spa the next day and then go home. Yes, exactly. Okay, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm imagining too. No goodie bags, no, I don't sorry, no offense. I don't want to see night. No, no, no. Everyone like wear whatever you want. Yeah. We can just have like one giant sleepover. And by one giant sleepover, I mean you and Lauren. In the suite and in the wind.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Because they're giant.
SPEAKER_02And it's a massive.
SPEAKER_01Well, because also at the suites, there's three beds.
SPEAKER_02I hope so. Well, yeah. There's definitely you can get connecting rooms. Oh, we can do all of it. Oh my gosh. Let's do it. No, I see the vision. I see. Because you can get connecting rooms with one room is like a suite, uh-huh, and then the other room is just a I mean, the room is just a regular room, but then there's like a little living room in the all connect. Yeah, okay. We're going to Vegas. Okay, period. Done whenever I get married. Um, okay, we already talked about your dress. Okay. Walking down the aisle, people walking with you, no one walking with you, mom and dad, just dad. Oh, probably mom and dad. Me, okay.
SPEAKER_01Between give me away. Well, I am, so I do, I will have like a traditional service. Like, I know, I mean, hopefully I and this it seems morbid, but I know who I want to marry me, like to be the pastor. Okay. He's like, he was like my childhood history teacher, but I went to a Catholic school kind of like growing up. It's not Catholic, but it's it might as well have been. And he was my history teacher, and he really like poured into my life and like still reaches out sometimes. And yeah, like I just love him and his family. Um, so I would hope that he would marry me. Um, and God, God willing, he doesn't die before I get married. He is quite old. So how old is he? I think when he was teaching, he was like 82 or 83. Yeah. And like an old 82 or 83. Okay. Yeah. Uh-huh. So he would marry me. Yeah. What was the question?
SPEAKER_02Who's walking you down the aisle?
SPEAKER_01Oh, who's walking you down the aisle? So I I would want it to be like the giving away, but it would have to be mom and dad. Yeah. Because my mom is like, it's not your dad. My mom is the main character. Dad is there. Dad will be sobbing. He won't be well. He's always crying. My mom will try to be holding it together and she'll do a better job. But my dad, I know he will be sobbing, and we can't leave him out. He doesn't see that. He has crazy FOMO.
SPEAKER_00He has crazy FOMO.
SPEAKER_02Are you crying? I'm just, I'm like, wait. It's so funny that I can like see this. The man, who knows? Oh, I have no idea. But mom and dad are like here, and they're like, wait, this is so exciting. I know. Oh, okay. Confirm my imaginary wedding.
SPEAKER_01Abby's getting married.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01I gotta look. I am taking applications though. Send me DMs on Instagram.
SPEAKER_02Abby Taryn on the planning. Um, okay. Um, DJ or banned.
SPEAKER_01Banned into DJ. Smart. Agreed.
SPEAKER_02Um, are you doing like an after-party situation? Absolutely. Is the sky blue? Have you met me? We're gonna be out until 4 a.m. Well, you don't have to be out until 4 a.m. So I will that'll be the one night. That'd be the one night. Oh my god, Presley's going out. I'm gonna start sleeping now. I'm gonna start. No, you guys actually like I shouldn't like ask somebody if this is okay. I think I've come like made myself it get into the habit of I get like eight and a half hours every single night.
SPEAKER_01That's so good for you. No, is it yes, yes, because if there is one thing that you should do in life, it is sleep. Okay. And like whatever works best for you. Like, I need a solid seven hours and 15 minutes to be functioning and like be high functioning. Yeah. Um, but like I've noticed that when I get less than that, like I am fighting demons and you have to do more. Sleep, though, like one bad night of sleep can push your week back so far. Like in the terms of wellness, and I've listened to a lot of like wellness and like science-y podcasts in terms of like your body, sleep is the number one thing you can do to fix anything in your life. So, like, if you feel like you need a nap, take the nap. If you feel like you need to get more sleep, stay in bed and sleep. Like don't go and push it because ultimately it'll hurt your body more if you push it than if you were to stay in bed for an extra hour or two. Yeah. Okay. So I think it's good. Don't just stress about it. No, it's a it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_02Um, honeymoon.
SPEAKER_01I don't want it, I mean, like like it depends. Yeah. It depends. Because I there will be a big trip that will happen that will be the honeymoon. Does it have to be following right after? Yeah. Not necessarily because life goes on like knowing that.
SPEAKER_00Two days to recover.
SPEAKER_01You need two days. If the honeymoon, let's say hypothetically, follows the wedding. Let's say the wedding is on a Saturday. We recover on Sunday, everyone has a big pool day, I think, or like a spa day to relax after the wedding party at least Sunday. And then maybe we fly out that Sunday night and take a red eye to wherever we're going. That would be for me. Or, or you take the early Monday morning flight. Right. That, but it would have to be late Sunday, early Monday. That would be my ideal. I wouldn't want to wait until like Tuesday.
SPEAKER_02Got it.
SPEAKER_01I I would just want to like relax, hang out, like recover, chat with everyone.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then like immediately go if the honeymoon was happening close to the wedding.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01If it was not, then we're still having the spa day, and then we're just gonna like live our lives.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Probably have like a nice dinner on that Sunday night.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I just realized that I hate any sort of situation where I'm in charge of making sure that everyone has fun.
SPEAKER_01So I think that's that's your biggest That's gonna be hard. Also, you would have a wedding planner.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01So they would be in charge of having fun and they would manage all of your stress for you. If anyone has anything, they would know who the wedding planner is. Right. So then if something were to go awry or something is crazy, honestly, probably they would come to me or Lauren and be like, hey, this is happening, and then we go to the wedding planner type of thing. Okay. So it wouldn't be, it wouldn't fall on you. Everyone would just be having fun because we've planned it so that way no one can have zero fun.
SPEAKER_02Fair. Yeah. Plus ones. Who do you need to be dating? Do you care if people bring randos? It just depends. Okay. It just depends. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like my friend Brienne, who will be my bridal party. Um, I've never met her boyfriend. Yeah. Obviously, he's coming. Yeah. Uh it would depend on who you were in my life. Right. And then your relationship to them. Right. Also, then when in the time that I send out the wedding invite versus when the wedding is. Right. Like, like if someone were to send me a wedding invite right now and offer me a plus one, yeah. I would be like, why did you do that? Right. Like genuinely. Like there, there is no one, there is no prospect whatsoever. So if let's say you send me an invite, it's September. Yeah. You send me an invite to a wedding in January, you should I I'm declining the plus one immediately.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because there's no opportunity for me to do that.
SPEAKER_02And I also think, well, one, is it rude to ask for a plus one?
SPEAKER_01I don't think so. Not if you if you know someone well enough and it I think it's rude to if you It depends on how well you know them, I think.
SPEAKER_02I never would ask for I don't know. Because I'm like, I don't want any, no one is bringing like a random date to my wedding.
SPEAKER_01Right, but also let's think like how many people do we know that and like let's say we do have kind of a bigger wedding, yeah, that I would maybe invite because I've been invited to other things. We kind of like see each other socially, type of thing, and like I would want you to be there because I like you, right? I like your presence, I like your presence within the group. We may not be best friends, but I like your presence here and I would love to like see you. Let's say they have a secret boyfriend that they've been hiding from me on Instagram because that's how I keep up with everyone, but they I send them one invite and then like, hey, by the way, like I have a boyfriend. Yeah, it's been like six months, I just didn't know about it. Yeah. Um, I would say, yeah, take that. Got it. Got it. I think it would, I think that's a respectful thing to do.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think so.
SPEAKER_01Because also there is space for people to not show up, for people to add, like, especially if you give me like ample time, I would be fine with it. Right. Yeah, yeah. I'm having insane cramps right now.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, it's okay.
SPEAKER_00So maybe period is it's okay. Um, uh, changing your name. Uh it would be Addy Terran Dash.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, probably eventually, once I'm done living my dreams, maybe it would change. But for the most part, it'd be Addie Terran Dash.
SPEAKER_02No, it's like we've worked so hard to make names for ourselves. Yeah. So the idea of like changing it is hard to think about. Yeah. Yeah. Um, would you do like a first look in the morning? Or do you want the first look to be when you're walking down the aisle? There's a first look first year. Oh yeah, would you?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I think that I want to because I also just want that like time to be together. Like that's the first time. I don't want it to be walking down the aisle with everyone watching. Right. Like that's a performance that you have to put on, and I don't want to put on a performance.
SPEAKER_02I want, I just know that I want my wedding to be like me and whoever the man is locked in on each other. Everyone else is a blur in the background. Yeah, like besides you and Lauren. No, but like my family. But honestly, like I don't want like I want it to be so about us. So I don't care if we like spend the night together the the night before. Like, I think I think that would be fun. But then I also see like a sleepover with you and Lauren would be fun to do.
SPEAKER_01I I would have a sleepover with all my girls before I wouldn't.
SPEAKER_02But I like the idea of seeing each other in the morning. Like I having breakfast together, doing something together in the morning would be cute. Like breakfast and then go your separate ways. And then like do you come back for a first look? I don't know. So yeah. I think just so cute. Um, okay, that was my next question. Spending the morning together. Vows. Are you reading vows out loud? Or do you want to be a message? I'm private that is giving me a microphone.
SPEAKER_01I do want to have like a moment. I don't know. Because I've seen it done a few ways at different weddings, and like I don't want a microphone, I don't want to say them in front of everyone. But I do want to have vows. So maybe privately.
SPEAKER_02Privately, but people do do it privately. But then that's like kind of.
SPEAKER_01But I want it to be part of the ceremony. So like maybe it's uh like a we go somewhere and like I don't I don't want to say like meditate on it, but like I've seen because I've been to a lot of like very, very religious weddings where they like pray over it and they like open the Bible and then they kind of like write it in the Bible type of thing. And I know that's like super religious, and that's not what I would want to do, but something along those lines and almost like it's been written, we've said it, we've had a moment together. Yeah, it's like almost like signing it, like okay, like something along those lines, like I sign into this. I don't know. I don't know. That's a thought that would come like later as it as it goes down the lane. But there are vows. I don't I do think it should happen at the altar. I want it to be like in the wedding video type of thing. Got it, but I don't know what that looks like yet. I don't like the idea of holding a mic. And like, granted, maybe like the preacher has like a little mic here and it would pick up on it, but yeah, I've just seen too many times someone holds a mic, and I don't like that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think you put the little mic here on your dress somewhere, and I think I I know that I like I would want to do vows with however like we do them. Wow, that didn't make any sense. Um, but I think I feel like someone has to like double check them in a way. Yes, it's make sure they're okay. What if like someone what if one person writes a page and the other person writes paragraph?
SPEAKER_01Well, I also get nervous because like when I'm speaking in public and I have something I have to read, I sometimes skip sections. So I don't want to skip it. Like if I am like performing in front of people, yeah, I don't want that to be missed. So I would want to probably have like a private moment so I can be like just like very relaxed and very comfortable so I could get it all out.
SPEAKER_00Totally. That makes sense.
SPEAKER_02Um, last thing, one thing you definitely don't want.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I probably should have looked at this a little bit more. Because I know.
SPEAKER_02Uh wait, let me think about mine. Oh, I definitely I don't think I don't like multiple locations. No, I want it to all be together. I don't want speeches at the wedding.
SPEAKER_01No speeches? No. Why does someone need to like at the rehearsal dinner? Oh at the rehearsal dinner, yes. Maybe at the end of the night, just like as a thank you from me, but I want it to be like we, it's like a party, right? Like it's the biggest event of the year. I don't need to be I don't, I don't want, I don't like speeches. I sit there and I'm like, aw, and then I'm like, wow, I'm bored. Like, when can we get up and dance on the dance floor? Too long.
SPEAKER_02I think it's I I like like I think it's cute. I went to some where like the dad gave a speech. That's cute. It's like it's like brief, like wrap it up. Um, we don't need to chat for forever. And I went to one where the couple like made their rant, they had dinner privately, which I love. Yes, that I'm definitely having dinner privately. I thought about that. They had dinner privately while everyone like mingled and like whether it was like a happy hour type of thing. Exactly, which like I already know my stomach's gonna be a knot, so I probably won't be hungry. I'm just gonna be like, where's the wine and the cake? Yeah. Um, but they had dinner privately, loved. Then they came back into the dining room, went around each table and just said a quick hello, like just a quick hi, bye, whatever. Thanks for being here. It was a smaller-ish wedding. Then they went and sat at the table with their people, like bridesmaids and grooms, whatever they're called, groomsmen, and then they did a thank you speech before everyone went and danced. Yeah. A quick little like thank you guys for coming. Yeah, like appreciate you being here to celebrate. I mean, her dad spoke, and then well, it actually was. I like when the like groom what's uh the wedding party, the groomsman and the bridesmaid? What's the oh best man? Oh, the best man and the maid of honor.
SPEAKER_01Like, I always think that those are cute. I think those are cute too. I just fear I would have too many maids of honor and too many, like Maid of Honor is just the main one. No, I know, but I want to have like I'm gonna have a lot. So I think like that would have to happen at the rehearsal dinner, I think. Yeah, and then maybe there's a speech from like a mom and a dad. Yeah. Also, this is annoying. I want to have a big entry dance performance. Okay, right? Yeah. And then the first dance, the dance with the mom, the dance with the dad, everyone, I want it to be all together. Like, so there's a big entry performance. Performance of you and yeah, like we're celebration, but then also everyone else is dancing. Okay, okay. And it's it's like small, it's like grapevines and like ball changes and like pivot turns, like easy peasy. Okay. Um, someone fun will choreograph it. Yeah, yeah. Um, and then for like the first dance, I want I guess you and your man. Yeah, me and my man. That happens, but then also there's the dance with your mom, dance with the dad. Yeah, I want those to happen together. Like, I don't want it to be dances with his yeah, I don't want everyone to be sitting and just watching us. Like, I want you to be up and moving with us. Like, I think that that is so cringy. I'm so sorry. I like it. Like, if that's happening, I the first dance is happening, but everyone else is on the floor. Yeah. The dance with mom and dad, we start and then we invite everyone up to the floor via the band that's announcing that it's now time for everyone to come to the floor, and it's maybe 10 seconds. Right, right. Like maybe. I don't know. I I still need to work on that, but that would be something that like would have to be different from other weddings. I don't want it to be like cringy and weird. Right.
SPEAKER_02I have thoughts on this, and luckily my father agrees with me. We're at a wedding and he was like, We're not doing that.
SPEAKER_01And I was like, Yeah. My dad actually, maybe me and my dad's first dance is within the opening number.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So, like if there because opening number, I'm obsessed with it. No, it's opening number. You have a you have a moment. I have a moment. We have a moment. We do a boogie.
SPEAKER_01He used to do like a dad's dance every year at my recital. So he would do a little boogie, we would do this, yeah, we would do this, we would hug, we would have a cool, funny moment. Exactly. Then my brothers are probably involved. Like, I think that would be hilarious. And then I think that's it for the first dance with my dad. Yeah, and then maybe the mom can come in with my husband, and like that would be a moment out also out of the opening number. They go off, we finish the opening number, right? Then it's like boom set, hey, finale. And then it's like, and now we're gonna go into the first dance, right? And no time, like it's immediate, immediate, immediate. Everyone has a moment, they get a sip of their drink, and then we have the first dance, it's like, uh, then we have a moment, we say thank you so much for coming, then party central. Let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That that's exactly what I wanted.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I like that. Yeah, I agree. Um, something you would you'd refuse to compromise on. This is like kind of the same question. But if you're like, I'm definitely not doing that, ooh, no compromises.
SPEAKER_01Um, it has to be in the winter. Has to be in the winter, yeah. And well, it's it's basically everything that I want. Like it's my way or the highway. So there are no compromises. Um, right. The answer is yes and right. Yes, and yes, and I love you. Yeah, yes, and here's more money. Yes, and the budget just got increased. Yes, and right, I don't have any say in this, and that's perfect. Yeah, yeah. Although I don't want him to be completely like out of the loop, right? But like he should just go along with my plans. Right.
SPEAKER_02And yeah.
SPEAKER_01And actually, he should add into them on top of them what he wants, but it just can't be cringy, it can't be outlandish. Yeah, yeah. Like, if he is like, we got I no, I don't even know. Yeah, I don't even know. It just I can't get the ick from him. Yeah, like if something is fake.
SPEAKER_02Like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, no, I know, and I'm like, that's disgusting. Oh, which I went to a beautiful barn wedding. I love a beautiful barn. That's just not our vibe. No, I and I think they're beautiful, but I don't want because I don't want like something that other people have done.
SPEAKER_01I want chic elegant, yeah, not chic country.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there's a difference. Yes, yes, because you can do a beautiful country barn wedding.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I want chic elegant.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I see yours with like more candles and flowers, so many candles. I'm not a big flower.
SPEAKER_01Are you throwing a bouquet? Yeah, because I think it's fun. Okay, but then I want the bouquet back. You're like, you don't get to keep it.
SPEAKER_02Um I went to a wedding and the girl that caught it was like running around with it. It was like making it her her entire personality that she caught it, and I was like, whoa there. Which I feel like I'm just being judgmental because I'm having cramps right now, but I just don't I wouldn't make it my personality. Does the groomsman, does the what's his name?
SPEAKER_01The oh, he you're supposed to the girl is supposed to wear a garter. He literally is supposed to take your garter off and throw it. I don't know that I would want that to happen.
SPEAKER_02That's his throw, yeah. Yeah, so I wouldn't want that to happen. No, I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_01No, but I wouldn't want to also my wedding is about me, right? Like, he is an accessory to my life, he is an expensive handbag, and like it is about me. So sorry.
SPEAKER_02Don't worry, we will make sure that it stays about you, Addy Girl. Um, I'm so annoyed. No, I'm very excited for this future wedding. It's gonna be the party of the year. No, it really is.
SPEAKER_01Also, like the reception is indoors. I don't want it to be outside. Yeah, but also because it's in winter, it has to be inside, but I want it to not feel like it's inside.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, where the F am I gonna get married?
SPEAKER_01That's why you that's why we figure it out. That's why we talk about it. That's why we talk about it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm like, it's fine. I'll figure it out when we get to that day. There's no stress.
SPEAKER_00No stress.
SPEAKER_02No stress. It's fine. Everything's fine.
SPEAKER_00Wait, what are yours?
SPEAKER_02What's your answer?
SPEAKER_01Something you refuse to compromise on.
SPEAKER_02Oh, the only thing is if he was like, it starts at eight.
SPEAKER_01I'd be like, Oh, I it's bedtime for you.
SPEAKER_02Like, that couldn't happen. I go to bed at 10, so like, how are we gonna do that? Like, I think we have to start at three.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay, that's early though. Are you gonna do it outside? Because that's like hot.
SPEAKER_02No, it can't be outside. I'm gonna be nervous about if I'm sweating. Right. Right. Oh, I he wouldn't really have a say in this, hopefully. And if he does have a say in this, like punch me in the face and tell me not to get married. My hair has to be up. My hair has to be some sort of like up pulled back. Because it doesn't hold. I don't want to be stressed about what my hair looks like. I want that to be sprayed and gelled to the gods so that whatever look it is, even if it is a ponytail with extensions, even if it's an up, some sort of twist. It's there, it's but it's there and it stays there. And if he were to have an opinion on that, that would be absolutely bananas.
SPEAKER_01Wait, should I tell the world about my hair's my hair journey with my wedding? Do you know about this?
SPEAKER_02Yes, you want extensions. No, I want to get engaged. I know.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna grow my hair all the way out because I have stunning, beautiful long hair. Like super thick, wouldn't have to get extensions, and I want to have this like full like moment with my hair. Yeah, must be nice.
SPEAKER_02It's okay. I have actual broken hairs in the back. Like I got my hair done, and she was like, You have a lot of broken hairs back here. And I was like, uh and she was like, No, and she held it up and it was just like a piece that was actually broken, but that's okay. We're working on it. Sorry, yeah, we're working on it.
SPEAKER_01No, so when I get engaged, I have to have enough time to get my hair long and like blonde enough long. Um, so I probably need like a year and a half to get it down here.
SPEAKER_02No, no, like my hair goes like a weed. A year before okay.
SPEAKER_01A year after I get engaged, I have to have at least a year and a half. Okay, after you get engaged, okay. A year and a half at least, probably like ideally two or three years. Okay. To get to get the wedding planned, to get my hair long. Get everybody right in. To get everyone, yeah, like everyone needs to be like I mean, there's events and there's outfits and things that we have to plan on. So, like, we have to work on this. But I'm gonna grow my hair out. I'm gonna have this big, like beautiful, like stunning, long, gorgeous, like mermaid locks. Okay. And then before the reception, I'm gonna change my outfit and I'm gonna cut my hair back to a bob. My hairstylist is coming. So she's part of my yeah, she's definitely gonna be there and she's gonna cut my hair into a bob. She's not gonna be probably my hairstylist for like my curls, but she's gonna be there to cut it. With the scissors with the scissors. I'm obsessed. Yeah. I'm obsessed with all of this. Even if I have to like wash my head if I'm like like taking a wet or anything. Yeah. Yeah. But it'll probably, I mean, ideally, it's probably just like a dry chop.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then uh we'll fix it like that.
SPEAKER_02Wait, do you want a um I definitely want some sort of outfit change?
SPEAKER_01Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So at least at least two.
SPEAKER_01Like you have your classic wedding dress. There's a full change. I don't want to like rip the skirt off. Yeah, no, no. I want a whole new look. Yeah. New outfit change, and then another outfit to the after party.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And maybe it's a little more casual, but probably not knowing me, because I like to be the center of attention. Right. And it's my wedding.
SPEAKER_02Sparkles, feathers, sparkles, feathers. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01There's there's this um like I think it's like an atelier in Tribeca that I walk by on Broadway, and it has this beautiful white, like mini dress. Yeah. And it it slowly drips down. It's a strapless. Yeah. Slowly drips down with sparkles, and then the sparkles go into feathers at the bottom. Yeah, perfect. Stunning. Like my dream dress. Every time I walk by there, I take a moment, I like take a deep breath with it, and I go, That's my dress. Yeah, totally. So that's my reception.
SPEAKER_02About your dress.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I don't know about my dress either. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh, wait, we talked about that.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah, but I don't know like what I want it to look like. Yeah, couldn't tell you. Right. I just know I I think it probably will be white, but if it wasn't, like, I wouldn't be angry at it.
SPEAKER_02Like, I know what looks good on me, but I don't know what I would want, like wedding dress. Yeah, I don't know. Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because it it is there forever.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And that's a crazy thought.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, crazy. And then you just like keep it in your closet forever.
SPEAKER_01Mine, my mom's sell it.
SPEAKER_02What do you do with it?
SPEAKER_01My mom's was always lived in my closet upstairs at home. Because I had a like I had a bunch of like my prom dresses and stuff. So it's just like wrapped up and just sitting in my closet. It's not even sitting in hers.
SPEAKER_02Huh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I've never thought about that. Like it just sits in your closet, I guess.
SPEAKER_01I guess.
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_01But because it's your dress, like you don't want to sell it.
SPEAKER_02Right, right, right, right. But then that's why I'm like, okay, well, do we want to spend so much money?
SPEAKER_01Well, but then also my mom still has hers. So, like, could I do a play on her dress for some party, like get it altered and get it to fit me? Because she was pregnant with me whenever she got married. Yeah. So it would not fit me. But um, like just to see. Yeah. That would be cool. Like, for maybe not for my wedding. I mean, maybe. Yeah. Maybe if I liked it.
SPEAKER_02But some event that weekend or something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and like get it altered so that we have like all this in my mom's dress and like yeah, have like a moment with it.
SPEAKER_02Pretty speaking of weddings and dating and things, um, you wanted to fill us in on a friend of yours. Oh, yes, has some sort of date situation going on. To be honest, I love talking about other people.
SPEAKER_01I do too. Also, because I have nothing to offer in the dating realm, like in the talking world of the anything like this. So whenever I can talk to other people about it, I'm like, I love this.
SPEAKER_02But also, just in general, like, I don't surround myself with people that caused the drama. I just love when other people tell me about the drama. And then I can there's never any drama between like us. I'm like, no, what's your crazy friend doing? Yeah, tell me about her. Like, that's all like I went to dinner with my friend, our friend Hather last night, who like there's not much going on with her relationship, with her, like, we're they're good. There's not no drama, but I'm like, oh, where is the drama at my crazy exactly?
SPEAKER_01Okay, uh so Miss Girl has these two men, one of them she met on a dating app. Okay, and then the other one she met via her friend, okay, and he works for her friend, and they went on a few dates a year ago. Okay, and things fizzled because she was just like kind of like, eh, I think they went on two dates a year ago. Things fizzled, she ended it with him very respectfully. He came back and he twisted around and kind of made it feel like he ended it. So then the floor, no classic, right? No, she's like this man. Yeah. So then they were out one night in like a group setting, uh-huh, and he was like, Oh my gosh, Alexa, long time no see. And she was like, Mr. Lawyer, this is his nickname. Yeah, Mr. Lawyer, so good to see you. Like, this is nice. They had good chat, good banter, and she was like, hmm, maybe we should rekindle. Yes. So, first date is with other man, uh app man, but his name is Mr. Guatemala because he went to Guatemala for three weeks. Okay, they went on their first date, it's been three weeks, he's now back. So he was in Guatemala for three weeks for work. Um, they had a really great first date, they were like in a lounge, they were hanging out for like four hours. Perfect. She sent me a six-minute voice memo. I said, Okay, so this was good. Yeah, things went well. Yeah, and then he went to Guatemala for work, but in Guatemala, he was partying the whole time. Like, okay, he was out and about, so he was like drunk texting her, right? He was like sending her weird text messages that like after one date maybe you shouldn't be sending. Right, right. Um, and it just was kind of weird. And she like would he would wake up and be like, Oh my god, I was so drunk last night, or oh my god, didn't mean to send you that. Yeah. So there's this man, then there's number two, Mr. Lawyer, who she went on a date with like this last like last Tuesday. Okay. And also similar vibe. They went to a lounge, things got like a little heated. She was like, I'm totally into this. Yeah. And this was first date in a year. So, like the last two dates were very like casual, like it wasn't like we're dating. Now she's trying to be more intentional of like, we're not, we're we're gonna date, nothing is gonna happen outside of this date until I'm like absolutely ready. Got it. So she's looking for a boyfriend. She's looking for a boyfriend. So after these two dates, they're both finally back. They have both reached out and offered her the same second date. Yeah, yeah. This is why I wanted to get this to you. So they've offered the same second date. They said, and it was this weekend, they said, Hey, you want to hang out on your couch and get hi. And she was like, um, no. Yeah. And like, she's a bit of a stoner, like she likes to, but also like not all the time, not every day. And she this couldn't have been a main topic of conversation because girl can talk about like the white wall in front of us and make it seem interesting. So I and that is like shout out to Miss Girl. We love her, but um I've yeah, they offered this and she said no. So when she told both of them no, she said what she said was, hey, it's just our second date. I'm not really sure that we're like at that point in our relationship to do that. Um, I'd really love to get to know you on a different level and maybe have drinks, maybe have dinner. Right. So Mr. Lawyer comes back and says, Oh my gosh, that's great. Like, um, I have tickets to this DJ set. Okay. Do you want to go? And she goes, Yeah. Okay. So the DJ set then gets canceled because of the rain. Good. So then instead of him making new plans with her, he cancels their plans and goes out with the boys and leaves her at home. Mr. Guatemala is still like, okay, well then I'll text you whenever I'm ready to hang out. So Mr. Guatemala is kind of in in like our back pocket. We're like, eh, whatever. We're kind of focused on Mr. Lawyer. We're kind of angry at Mr. Lawyer for sorry, for yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I he he canceled and then went out with his boys and then offered another date and said, we should hang out on your couch again. He said, We don't have to get high, but let's hang out on your couch. So clearly, he really is in it for one thing. Right. While she also they've never that nothing has ever happened. So he's really just in it for one thing. What's wrong with his couch? Exactly. I also feel like So many questions, so many questions here.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Let's just take a breath. I've really lost faith in like truly almost everyone. Like, also, can I say both of these boys are 30? Right. That part. Um, okay. First things first. Let's say she had a great first date with Guatemala. Guatemala man goes on vacation. Great. I immediately would be like, okay, whatever. He's there for work, like, do what you want. Yeah. Party, party, party, whatever you want to do. Yes. If I was having that experience, I would be like, oh, actually, I don't think we're gonna be a good fit because I don't party like that. Right. And I don't want to be with someone that like doesn't remember what he did the night before. And which like, go live your life if that's what you want to do. Yeah, great. But I would be like, okay, immediately clock it, like we're done. Like that's fine. The whole like let's go to her couch situation, like you're not even trying to hide what you're actually asking. Right, exactly. You're not even trying to play the second date. It's a second date. Crazy, crazy.
SPEAKER_01They've not even been to dinner together. Crazy. You have not even shared a meal. Crazy. And like both of them, they they planned this and like set up this kind of relationship in a form and in a way that they want to date. Yeah, not just hang around. You know what I mean? And like make it a situation ship.
SPEAKER_02That was my follow-up. I was like, was the first date giving situationship vibes?
SPEAKER_01Like or relationship vibes, both of them, right?
SPEAKER_02So that's where things get a little messy, which is why we're so frustrated with these boys. And I feel like they probably just put on some sort of front to like they were on their best behavior first date, which she's never gonna see that behavior ever again. Ever again. And then now they've shown their cards that they just want a situation ship, which like do if you want a situation ship, like go for it. Yeah, but it sounds like she doesn't. So I feel that these men like he didn't even try to be like, I'll cook you dinner.
SPEAKER_01No, no, never even thought about that.
SPEAKER_02Like, that's crazy to me. Or I'll take you to dinner. Yeah, or but if you want to get at home, right? Yeah, you should have offered, like, can I make you dinner? Like, put a little white lie over it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, don't just say I want to sit on your couch and get high and do other things. Yeah, like that is so blatant. And then they both said that. So Mr. Guatemala has kind of been put away just because like we're kind of done. But Mr. Lawyer Man came back, right? We should both put we should put them both down like dogs. Yeah. Um that's morbid.
SPEAKER_02No, I'm in my I am and then okay, well, don't don't even and then they they're like, Why do you hate men? This is why. This is why I hate men. I get it. Please don't get angry at me.
SPEAKER_01This shit happens to a beautiful girl who is so normal and so nice, and just like like like just a girl, and she's not doing anything crazy. Yeah, not doing anything crazy. Um, so Mr. Lawyer came back, yeah, and he's taking her to a wine bar near her apartment tonight because she wants to be home in time for dancing with the stars. So he planned the date, but still they're not eating yet, which I said I think that at least on the second date you should have an appetizer. I looked at the menu, there are no appetizers. Um, or like no appetizers that she would eat. Right. Um, because she's vegetarian. Okay. Vescatarian, something I think vegetarian. Yeah. Um, so there's not food for her. It's like a charcuterie board. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Um, so that's really frustrating. Yeah. Um, and I fear that because it's near her apartment, he's gonna be like, well, can we go back? Yeah. And she's gonna be absolutely not. Yeah. But I think that that's a text message that I'm gonna receive later. Yeah. She's gonna be like, this man tried to come home with me.
SPEAKER_02Which, like, being there is if you're in the mood and you're at a stage in your life where you're like, let's say, like, work is like solid, work's going well, like you don't have like any like crazy social events or things happening, and you're just like, I'm bored and I want to see what's out there, like, go for it. Yes, like go for it. But if you're like feeling that your life is already very overwhelming, plus you're adding on this man that's like being wishy-washy, and like we don't know if we want to be in a situation, like, I feel like any time that I was exploring a situation ship and I was dating a lot, my life was like solid. Yeah, I had all of my stuff handled, organized, whatever. And then I could be like, okay, let's add this chaos to my life because I'm in a space right now where I can handle this. So I feel like that's if you're looking for a situation chip or if you're looking for something casual, then like ask yourself if you're actually okay with that. And if that's like actually what you want, because her and this man can have a great time just like hanging out. Well, that's right.
SPEAKER_01And she did tell me, she yes, and she did tell me that like probably he would just be a situation chip if things continued, but she doesn't want to give them that impression because then it's like, hey, can you do you just want to hang out on the couch? But you just want to do it.
SPEAKER_02That was that if she thinks that he's gonna be her boyfriend, he's already messed up. Like he's already already out of boyfriend category.
SPEAKER_01That he was originally in boyfriend category and after the first date and after his actions over the weekend, he's now moved into situationship category. But we're not gonna tell him that we're not gonna give him that impression. We're still gonna give him the impression that he wants to be boyfriend, but he's already been moved into situationship. He just hasn't proved himself that he can even be in the situationship yet, right?
SPEAKER_02But even if it turns into her boy, like I feel like even if it turns into her being like, okay, wait, maybe this could be a boyfriend, like you have to go back. We have to go back, right? Which is hard because it's like if you're approaching it casually, like, uh, but like I what's what do people say? Like, let people show you who they are. Yeah, like he's already shown us who he is in a way, and yes, you're still figuring out if you like said person, whatever, but like honestly, ever since I like I've talked to my boyfriend and guys from the past that were like, no, like if you're taking a girl on the date, like you're like all in, and you're like, I'm here to take you on a date, like I'm best foot forward, I'm exactly something, like I'm trying to connect with you. I'm not no eyes are elsewhere, like we're here locked in. So now I'm just like I'm like over the like the men, just with the excuses and there should be zero excuses, it should just be yes or no, no gray area, yeah. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay. Wait, so I have more to do with this. So I think we've decided he is a situation shift. Yeah, no, this is no future potential. So my question, no, I think there's no future potential in like a real aspect, but she's gonna go date him. She even prefaced the date with, I'm probably not gonna like him, I'm probably gonna end it after tonight, but I have a free tomorrow, so I'm gonna go. I said what she said, I have too many friends, yeah, I have too many activities, I have too many jobs. If he's not adding to my life, he's taking away, so I don't need it. And that is very healthy of her, but also like yeah, go be a little crazy, go have some free wine and like then go watch Dancing with the Stars and have a good time and sending me voicemail. Yeah, so my question is when is proper second date timing? Because he went out with her last like Tuesday, and now it's Tuesday again. Should he have made plans a little sooner, in your opinion?
SPEAKER_02Great question. I feel like nowadays everyone's schedules are always insane. Yes, I agree. I do remember that there is some sort of rule about like I think we can like ditch the rules on like the weekend dates, like Saturday night dates. Like, I never if the guy asked me out on a Saturday night, I never thought that that was a big deal. I was like, okay, yeah, that makes sense. It's the weekend. Yeah, you know what I mean. Whereas some people are like, no, I'm saving my Saturday night. I'm like, okay, let's like a little bit. It's Saturday night. There's one next weekend, too. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01I was like, you're gonna be fine, you're a 40-year-old man. Well, also then also then we don't have normal jobs, so like the weekend, yeah, right. Like it's what is it, a Tuesday? And like this could be the weekend. This is my weekend.
SPEAKER_02My boyfriend was like, Oh, we're he's like, I'm gonna try to keep you out until 11. So, like, take a nap, and I was like, like, this is my Saturday night. I was like, And it's Tuesday, yeah. I mean, happy Sunday, but today it's Tuesday. Yeah, so okay, so when is proper second date timing? I feel like if you're eager to, I don't think you should try to play some sort of game of like waiting a week or anything. I think if you both have a free night and it's close, do it. Yeah, like if you go out on a Tuesday and then said person is also free on Saturday, I think that's great. I would I don't think it should be the next day because I think you'll have time to process people get into problems, a lot of problems when they meet and then they can't let go of each other. Yes, 100. And the next day they get coffee, the next night they go out to dinner. Oh my god. Then it just keeps rolling into this like week-long date, and then he's coming over and then he's doing like and then suddenly he goes away for three days and you're like, he ghosted me. Yeah, exactly. So I think people fall like that's not a fun trap to fall into. Slow burn, but not too slow. Yeah, and not too fast. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I don't think you could ever go too slow.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02Um, but I yeah, I think if say you go out on a Tuesday, Saturday's perfect.
SPEAKER_01So And then what's an ideal second date? Let's say the first date is drinks, because I think first day should always be drinks, no coffee, always a drink involved, so that way inhibitions can be like a little lower, so you're not so nervous.
SPEAKER_02If you go out on a Friday, I think it's fine to go on a second date for like a Wednesday or a Thursday or even the next Friday. Yeah, because people are busy during the week, like everyone's scheduled the same. Yeah. Um, okay, first date, yeah, never during daytime. No, absolutely it has to be at night. So that way you have a you have an escape way, an escape route. Eat on the first date, then a second date should be dinner.
SPEAKER_01I would agree. Yeah. I would agree. Or at least like, let's go get a snack and then let's go to this next place. Like plan something. Also, it needs to be planned. Yeah. Like there is no like I think we should do this, I think we should meet here. There should be a reservation. Yeah, there should be a plan. If they don't take reservations, you have called, they know that we're coming, there's a table, there's something set aside, like it's New York City, it's busy. Yeah, there should be a plan in place for a second day, and there should be some type of food involved. Yeah, I agree with that. I totally agree. I think it should be dinner, honestly. Uh well, I would agree with that. But if dinner, if it's like a random, if it's at like 5 p.m., and I know maybe that's dinner for you, but for me, that would be like a midday snack. Um, that would be like that would be like my third meal of the day at 5 p.m. Because I have like four or five every day. So like speaking of, I'm hungry. I'm hungry too. So we can finish this. Um my last question is why do you think that we get hung up on things that bother us about these men? And like, so for example, like he has to come over and a couch hang. Yeah. Do you think that is reason to be like, uh, X, if he's made it up? Let's say this date goes really well. Maybe he is like, oh my gosh, I want to take you to dinner. Let's do this, let's do that. Maybe those things kind of get put to the back. Do you keep those things at the forefront, or are they enough for you to put them aside and just live with it?
SPEAKER_02Like the fact that he originally wanted to count.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like could he make up for it in this date and in coming maybe dates? Like, this is a hypothetical. For you, he wouldn't, but in general, do you think do you think some men could make up for it? And then you just kind of live with that and know that maybe that could happen again. But if he really is interested and he's decided that like he is for you, do you think that like he could make up for it?
SPEAKER_02Okay, I see a couple sides to this. One, I definitely can see that like attraction can grow, right? Uh-huh. So what if he's like, oh yeah, this girl's like cool or whatever, like sure, I'll just hang out on her couch. Yeah. Say they go to wine tonight and they connect on some like crazy deep level and they like low-key fall in love and they're like, wait a second, is this my person? Yes. Then if he's like, Oh shit, like I am like really into this girl, like, let's go to dinner, let's like plan, let's do all this stuff. So, yes, there is like that sign, like attraction does grow. Okay. Right? So, on the side, I'm I'm always on the side of like if he's showing you his actions in the beginning, then like that's probably what you're gonna get. Like, keep that in your backpack.
SPEAKER_01Well, because in the beginning is your best self, always. So it's only gonna get worse from here. And he's showing this is what it is.
SPEAKER_02If he okay, they also met a while ago. Yeah. So if he was like, wait, I think this could be like my person, I'm gonna take her to dinner. Like, I'm gonna plan a date and I'm gonna make it nice. Right. So I think that's like a little bit of like a red flag for me of like he knows her, you know what I mean? It's not like new. Because I've also talked to girls that are like, if the second date is like way too extravagant, they're like, ah, it's like too much, like your love bombing. Yeah. And so I'm like, interesting. I've never felt Yeah, I never have either, but we are we are a different thing. But it is kind of like yeah, I I understood what they were saying. Like if it's way too extravagant and you're like, I have not like I don't connect to any of this. Yeah. Then like why are you? You're just trying to show off for me. I could be anyone right now. Yeah. Anyway. So um I think circling back to your first question, I don't even know if I've answered the question entirely, but why do we get so hung up on these things? It's hard to let it go when it's like such an easy it's like I know this and you don't know this. Like for the men, it's so easy. And I love like people make TikToks and posts about this where they're like, when the man says something that I discovered like alone in my bedroom when I was seven years old. Yeah. And it's like we've thought about like we're we're like always like love you guys, but we're always 10 steps ahead. 100%.
SPEAKER_01I've already planned our whole wedding, I've planned our whole life, and I know your I don't even know your last name yet.
SPEAKER_02I feel I think it's like when something is so easy that they mess up or that they or like not that they what's the word? When something's so easy, like it's so easy to ask a girl to dinner.
SPEAKER_01So easy.
SPEAKER_02And you're not doing that. Why are you not doing that? So then when when they don't do that, I'm like, oh cool, like you don't like me that much. Like that's fine. Great. Like what going one? I know exactly the do I know what you want now. Yeah, with Mr. CK, like the date slowly started becoming like day of, or like I was like waiting around for him to finish. And I was like, cool, like we have fun when we're together, but like I don't think I want another situation ship.
SPEAKER_01Well, because then you're not a priority in his life, you just happen to be available when he's available instead of both making time for each other.
SPEAKER_02And I was like, We're not connecting on that, and I don't really want to like wait around anymore. So like I have to end this. Yeah, he was like, Cool. So I think it's like I don't even know what I was saying with that, but um but it should be easy and it should continue to be easy, yeah. Yeah, it should and I think that's why we get frustrated because it's like I don't understand why it's so hard sometimes.
SPEAKER_01I just think they don't put themselves in our shoes, and we often put ourselves in their shoes. Like, what do you have to do? Put on an outfit and brush our teeth, yeah, and then go and hit up Resi and make a resource. Like, that is all you have to do. I have to find an outfit, I have to find shoes, I have to find a purse that matches, I have to get ready. Yeah, I have to make sure that I had ample time to go from here to then get ready to do this, to do that. Like, there's a lot of people. I have to share my location with all my friends.
SPEAKER_02I have to make sure you don't kidnap me, I have to make sure you don't stab me, I have to make sure you don't I have to make sure that I have an easy hour in case I need it.
SPEAKER_01There's an emergency that could happen, you know, like and then they have to make a reservation on their phone that they're always on that then they don't text us back, but that they're always on, right? And then they can't seem to do that. That's just like very telling for me. Yes, yeah, I totally agree. Right, yes.
SPEAKER_02So I think like it's the effort, right? Like and I think it should feel like it doesn't take that much, yeah. Yeah, it really on your phone. It's like actually so easy. Um yeah, and I think as girls, like it's nice when someone does it for you. Like I was thinking about this the other day. Like, I love to be the planner for the friend group. Like I love if I have plans with friends, I'll text them day off. And I'm like, I'm so excited for tonight, can't wait. Like, just to confirm. Not not usually with like you guys, because I always know that like you do sometimes with me though, because I'm bad about putting things in my calendar and I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01But I did text you yesterday and I said I'm I'm coming over. I said I got it.
SPEAKER_02That was that's really good. Um, but I was like texting my friend last night and I was like, Oh, like just confirming for today, like, can't wait to see you. And I was like, It's so nice to receive this from a man because I'm the one that always and I'm like, yay, and so I don't know, maybe they're like nervous, but I'm like grow up, grow up, like grow up, like grow up, grow up, truly. Boys, grow up. Well, the men need to well, the men. Well, you can't be a man if you haven't grown up, so don't be yeah. Anyway, I really need to eat something. I do too, and then I need to go get my lashes done and then get ready for a date night with my boyfriend, and then you need to get ready to go teach SoulCycle. Yes, and I'll see you on Saturday for Verity. And I also cannot wait to attend your future wedding because it is gonna be iconic.
SPEAKER_01I can't wait. I'm really excited for your bachelorette party in Las Vegas. Yeah, just the three of us. The three of us.
SPEAKER_02Just the three of us, just the three of us. Love you guys. Happy Sunday, have a great week, and me and someone, or maybe just me, we'll see you next time. Bye.