The NJ DAD Podcast
The NJ Dad Podcast is where fatherhood meets humor. Join Andrew Parise for honest conversations about parenting, marriage, work, friendships, and the everyday chaos of suburban family life. Some episodes are solo, some feature guests, but they’re all built around one idea: being a better dad doesn’t mean taking yourself too seriously. Whether you’re changing diapers, coaching Little League, navigating date night, or just trying to survive another trip to Costco, you’ll find relatable stories, practical perspective, and plenty of laughs along the way. New episodes every Thursday.
The NJ DAD Podcast
Learning From Our Past Mistakes
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SPEAKER_00Because it was such a goddamn brutal, miserable, mother-fing winter. I'm not gonna complain about anything else. I'm not gonna complain about the buzzing of the landscapers. It doesn't stop. I love how warm it is. I get it. There's grass growing, and that's a good thing. Hey, welcome to the fatherless cheat sheet. I'm your fatherless friend, Andrew. And today, I'm spilling my own tea, as the kids say. I'm talking about a couple different things. My mistakes, mistakes. I've made mistakes that I hope that one or two of you can learn from. Because at the end of the day, this show, the impetus of this show, my goal for this show, one of them at least, was to help people along who maybe didn't have someone to say, hey, don't do that. That's just stupid. That's moronic. Why are you doing that? Move on. And not that I didn't have that at all, but let's just say a lot of things skip through the cracks. I'm also half a stunad. I'm just being honest. I'm a flake. Certain things I consider myself a mildly intelligent person, but certain things often slip through the cracks for me. Things just don't occur to me sometimes. And I think you'll see that through these stories I'm about to tell you. We talk theoretically about a lot of different things on the show, and we talk about their applications in everyday life and advice and filling out the cheat sheet and stuff like that. But there is no greater teacher than life and experience. And if you would use me as your as your proxy here to learn a little bit from my mistakes, I think we can probably cover a little bit of ground. Now, am I gonna keep some things to myself? Yes. I'm not I'm not sharing the worst of the worst of the biggest of the biggest mistakes. I don't know you that well yet. And as we get to know each other, maybe I'll do that. But right now, I think some of these things that I'm about to share are applicable to everyday life, young, old, and wayward or not. So they're just a couple stories I want to talk to you about, and we're gonna do it right now on the fatherless cheat sheet. Check it out. Okay, we are back on the fatherless cheat sheet. Thank you for joining me. Those of you who listen to the long form show, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you. I really, really do. Friends, family, strangers, whoever, people I haven't met yet or know yet. Hate to call you a stranger. I feel like it's funny because a lot of times some of you listen to the show who are friends who I do sort of speak to on a daily basis, daily ish. And sometimes I don't even know that you're listening, but you'll say it and I'll hear it, and that's great. But and you're getting it, you're getting your fill of me. I am positive of that. But I don't know that you're listening to some degree, or when you're listening. So I just want to really genuinely say whoever's hanging in there, especially for the long form stuff for this show, thank you. Because I really do love doing it. And I hope that shows, and I hope you get something out of it. I really do. A smile, a little bit of insight, and I've just been really excited about some of the guests that w we've had on, we're having on, and we'll talk a little bit about the studio build-out, because that relates to one of the stories I'm gonna tell a little bit later. But but let's get into some of the learning from my mistakes. This episode is all about don't do that. Don't do this, don't do what I'm about to tell you. And it speaks to a lot of different things, it speaks to a lot of different techniques in life in terms of just being aware of your surroundings, being a little sensitive to those around you, knowing when to shut your fucking mouth, keep your mouth shut, and keep your opinion to yourself. And really just sort of buttoning things up when you have to, because each and every one of our decisions does have a consequence. And again, almost 45 years I've been on the planet. No one's no one's learned that the hard way more than I have. Um and again, this is not an episode of uh what's that show? Uh one that they go to the jail, the jail for the day. What the hell's that show called? Uh Hard Truth or shit I can't remember. I'll remember when I get out of here. Someone's yelling at the podcast right now. It's called. I'll remember it later, just like the the cookie crumble story. No cook, no cookie crumbles, no a la mode in my drink. Um, my perfect, my perfect ice cube is perfect without confection. The first story I want to talk about about don't do this, learn from my mistakes, please. Because it's so easy to say here here's here's five things, don't do it. Here's this, don't do it. But I think it's much more accessible, much more real when you can actually put an event on it and consequences on it. So let's give it a shot. The first thing happened when I was a kid. I was about 13 years old. And if you've been listening to the show, that was the year I wore a flesh-colored back brace with matching love handles because I'd cracked two vertebrae in my back. So springtime hits, I'm out of the brace, I'm feeling great, spreading my wings and my love handles. And there was a schoolyard up the block from my house. I spent so much time there. I mean, it sounds so cliche, the Brooklyn kid playing baseball and hanging out in the schoolyard and all that good stuff. But it's true, right? Most things that are cliche have some foundation in reality. I like to say that for generiz generalizations as well, but we won't go into that conversation. I keep looking at my microphone, by the way, because I'll share just a quick aside before I get back to the story. I once recorded a bunch of episodes ago. I recorded a solo episode as I'm doing right now, and this mic, it was right when I got this great new mic, and I touched it and I muted the mic. And I didn't know that I recorded an episode, an entire episode, and I had to scrap it because I was on mute the whole goddamn time. And did I feel stupid? Yes, I felt really stupid. But you know what? The second time I did the episode was much better. It was much, much better. And sometimes those things happen and you just have to roll with it. So that was like a micro thing. Back to back to the schoolyard. I'd been going to the schoolyard since I was a very young, seven, eight years old, probably unaccompanied to some degree. Neighborhood kids, it was about a hundred, probably a hundred and fifty feet from my actual house, uh brownstone, whatever. 150 feet from my stoop, right? Another cliche, Brooklyn kid with a stoop. The stoop was like my best friend. I I swear to God, how sad is that? I used to throw a ball against this stoop hours and hours and hours on end, just stand out there just watching people go by and just so it's so funny. And it's not even sad. It's just kind of it's kind of sweet. And so if there's a kid out there who's listening and was that same kid or or has no idea what a stoop is, but you need a little guidance, listen up. 150 feet from my stoop is this schoolyard. I'm up there since I'm a little guy playing with neighborhood kids or whatever. They had the wrought iron fencing that was going to complete shit. They replace it with this monstrous fence. It's a public school in Brooklyn. And what they would do is, I'm not sure why they decided to do this, but they would lock it. They would lock this thing. You couldn't, you Guantanamo is less, is less complex than this gate and has less security. So they lock it. So you'd have to walk around to the other side of the street to get into the schoolyard, which still had the wrought iron. So go figure, an unfinished product at a public school in Brooklyn. Oh my God, I've never heard of that before. So I walk in the other side and I go in and I'm playing by myself. And wouldn't you know it, three kids come in there about 10 minutes later, and they have an issue with me. I've I've seen a couple of them before here and there. Let's just say that they were they were not great kids. And they let me know all about that because they wanted to they wanted to play. They wanted to play. And I just said, guys, I'm just playing on my own. And and right then my instinct sort of kicked in, like, hey man, this thing's not gonna go well for you. So you might want to get the hell out of here. So as I started to turn, because there's only one way of egress, I started to turn. One of the kids grabbed me, then the other grabbed me as well, and then the other kid grabbed the bat, and I kept my glove on my hand. So they took my bat from me and had a basketball as well, and they just started absolutely beating the shit out of me. Like bad, bad, bad. Like hitting me in the head with a bat. I finally got myself, I was sort of defending myself with the glove that was on my hand. Thank God. I as I'm I'm sitting here, my fist is like balled up just like it was then with the with the glove on. And uh really the flight just kicks in. I I mean the fight, I don't even know if it was there. The fight was just sort of keeping myself alive and off the ground, but they were just hitting me in the head with this bat and just pummeling me. It was bad. It was really bad. And the thing that I remember most clearly about the whole entire thing was that when I turned and started running, because I was never fleet of foot, let's call that what it is. I I ran and still run like a catcher does. And if you know baseball, you know what that means. As I turned to run, one of the kids he took the bat and the bat hit me over the head with it. And this thing, this thing bounced off my skull. I still remember how it felt and how it sounded. And I said, I gotta get the hell out of here. So that bounced off my skull. I ran and I just started yelling, bloody murder. You know, I have some blood coming off of me and things like that. And so, because the other side was locked, I had to run out the same way I came, and I made a left, and I think someone heard me. Honestly, I it's not exactly clear. Someone sort of intercepted me. The three kids dispersed. They were probably like four, fourteen, fifteen, maybe sixteen. But they gave me the beating of a lifetime. And that's what's not funny. It is kind of funny, I guess. You have to laugh at it. I was fine. Well, not fine. I actually had to go to the hospital. But the story in my household, my mom calls it the beating. And it's like, it's just, if you say the beating, I know we know exactly what you're talking about. Because they sent me to the hospital. So I wound up going home. I, you know, I was I was all banged up. My mom took me to the hospital. She's obvious so upset and so sad about the whole thing. And meanwhile, I get to the hospital, and the two things that I remember are completely, because I call we we called the police and they just said, Do you want us to pick you up with an ambulance? No. And so we just went to the hospital. But the thing I remember the most about the whole thing getting there was the total reflection of my vanity, which exists to this day, as my hair looks like I'm auditioning for you know the Greece reunion uh in a town in a town production right now. I'm getting the haircut tomorrow. But shout out, BA. Sup, girl. See you tomorrow. But um the nurse said two things. One, when I got completely undressed, again, coming off the flesh-colored corset that looked that had my, you know, my my bust and my uh love handles in my belly, she goes, right when I take my clothes off. Oh, you have such a cute body. No, I'm 13 at this point. So you're starting to, you know, think about uh eventually having a girl or a woman enjoy what you look like with your clothes off. And that was the I was met after this sort of uh traumatic incident with, oh, you have such a cute body. Oh, thank you. It wasn't like, you know, uh a penthouse forum moment either. And and the other thing was, again, to reflection reflection of my vanity, was the doctor said my hair was so thick that it actually helped me. It padded the the blows from the bat and it sort of helped me protect me, which was uh a little surreal and sobering. And um I'm gonna get to the point of don't do that. Now, not a big victim shaming guy. However, I have accountability in this scenario. The place was totally empty, nobody was there, not one, not a soul. That big door was locked, I had no way of egress out of the other way, and you know, I just wasn't prepared at all for these three guys to come in there and sort of impose their will upon me and and matter of factly beat the ever-loving shit out of me. And so that was sort of a really hard and violent and painful way to learn a lesson, but I did learn a lesson going forward that you have to know what your surroundings are. You have to know to trust that instinct in your belly if something's not right. Now, the instinct did kick in, but it w just came a little bit later than than I'd wished. And um, and truthfully, that that incident, not that it was a good thing in any way, shape, or form, but definitely got mom's wheels turning about getting the hell out of there. And now, it wasn't a bad, it wasn't a bad neighborhood. I hate to I hate to say it was like a bad neighborhood. There was certainly worse, but there was stuff going on. It wasn't awesome. I remember freshman year of high school taking the train after this, after this. Now, I was terrified for like a year and a half just walking around. And I was still by myself. I was walking around, coming home to and from school, terrified. And freshman year getting out of the subway, getting out of the F train station, and these guys who get whatever moniker gang, gang name they had, a bunch of assholes, you know, were just hanging out, flicking cigarettes at whoever was walking by. What was I gonna do in my, you know, Catholic high school necktie and the whole thing? So I was ha I was sort of, to be honest with you, sort of relieved at a certain point to get out of there. Now, as as I got a little bit older, um the fear subsided and I realized that how how to handle situations like that, obviously. But I guess the moral of that story is that you know your surroundings. Obviously, I wasn't completely at fault on this one, but I did, I think I did share some blame for sure on that that situation. And that was a that was a tough one. And honestly, that was a tough one for mom. You know, um because she probably felt a little helpless and all that, and and you know, more than anything else, and uh but you know, bruises heal, but that was a that was a rough one. But anyway, let's move on to a different a different type of thing. After college, I worked at a a company, a big, big company. I'm not gonna name the company, but they sell cameras that in Japan, let's let's just say that. And here, they sell cameras all the world, but from Japan. And I worked here, I had a sort of a dual, sort of a dual role. I worked in the warehouse. It's very very me, very nuanced, very me role. I worked in the warehouse two or three days a week, and then I would move up like George and Wheezy to the to the east side. There was a hotel that had an office, a beautiful hotel up by me. It's gone now, and they imploded it. Um not because of the terrible job I did that was unrelated, but I would split time between the warehouse and this this nice hotel that had they had office space up there. So um I did a whole I did a whole bunch of different things there with them. Like uh what was my role? Events logistics coordinator was my role, as I remember. Because you always remember your first job out of your first job out of college. And going back to the networking of it all, I got the job because I worked with someone at a hula hands who was the HR person there. And it was, believe me, no frills job to pay, oof, but it was good. It was a good start, and I appreciated that she got me the job. Long story short, one of the the the warehouse crew, close quarters, there's only six of us, and you get to know people when it's that sort of scenario. There was a guy, and he was probably ironically enough, probably just about my age now, then, and he had a couple kids, and I don't know I don't really remember his story more than that, but he had some some health issues, not overt health issues. He was a he was a bigger guy. He he was a a sort of a bigger lumbering guy, but he was a sweetheart of a guy, and we got along, we got along pretty well. And to to that end, I remember jumping in the car with him at lunchtime once and and driving like a half hour to go get sandwiches, just spending the whole time. You know you're with a a a healthy eater when he spends a half hour each way to go get a real good sandwich. So I I heard about these health issues because the place was was sort of pretty tight-knit. You can't, you couldn't not hear something unless I had my uh, you know, a fuel album on or something in my earbuds. And so he was having these issues, and I I don't know why I did it, and it was so stupid. I said, I said, you know, you should really, you should really try to, you know, keep yourself healthy and lose some weight. And I know I'm cringing as well, thinking about it. For me, and I didn't go on this big diatribe, but it whatever little I did say in a in a fairly judgmental, arrogant, 22-year-old way, I think to give myself a little bit of a pass, not a pass, but some explanation of why I would say or do this. I think I was thinking of it from my point of view, were I didn't I never had a dad, so why should why should your kids lose their father because you're driving a half hour to get a big sandwich both ways that you shouldn't eat? You know, and as I probably sounded judgmental right there. My point is this is that I should have just shut the fuck up. I should have kept my mouth shut. This guy lost his shit on me, and deservedly so. Probably top five I've been screamed at before. Well, it's usually a mutual scream. At that point, I I kept my mouth shut because I knew I did something wrong. I knew I said something. I I overstepped. I just it just went from my from my head, my brain to my mouth to him. And I shouldn't have done that. I just should have shut the hell up. Because nothing I said to him then, judgmental or helpful, would have put him on the correction course. You don't know what puts people on the correction course, and sometimes it does. Sometimes things like that do put him put people on the correction course. But it wasn't going to come from some little shit, arrogant 22-year-old who was who was opening boxes in the warehouse. And from that moment, I kind of really I thought about that. I think of I still think about that conversation when when to intervene and when not to intervene. And so as I have a podcast about sort of interventionism to some degree. So much of what our regrets are have everything to do with with what we didn't do. If I had to stack up my my lines of regrets from not doing and doing, I have, you know, a handful of things that I've done, you know. But I would say the other the other side is stuff I didn't do. This one I did, and I regret it. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what I said to him so much so I just remember this. That's funny. The things that you you bring back. Because I don't I don't think about it a lot, but it comes up. I left that job. I left pretty quickly after I got it. And that's another topic of conversation. But it was right before I went to go start acting and bartending and the whole thing. But he was out, he was off. I I I don't know. He was extended, he might have been something might have been going on, he might have been sick. And I remember writing him a note because there was no text at the time. I wasn't gonna call him. He didn't want to hear from me anyway. It was a pretty big blowout. Again, one-sided, I just I just shut up. The manager kind of intervened and said, Hey dude, you gotta chill now.
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SPEAKER_00But I wrote him a note and I left it at his desk, and I just said, you know, I'm sorry. And uh I I did apologize. I just, I'm sorry, and I just I wish you all the best. And anyway, so I don't know what happened to him, but I hope, I don't know, whatever happened, I hope it was okay. Uh just as a as a non sequitur, I hope you're the Mike is not picking up the landscapers. Now, here's the thing. Because it was such a goddamn brutal, miserable, mother-fing winter, I'm not gonna complain about anything else. I'm not gonna complain about the buzzing of the landscapers that doesn't stop. I love how warm it is. I get it. There's grass growing, and that's a good thing. So I'm not gonna complain about it. I just hope it doesn't impact your listening pleasure. My last story is a recent story, and it has everything to do with this show and this studio that I'm making available to have guests back here. And I can't wait to do that. I'm really excited. I think, I think it's gonna bring a different element to the show. I think I'm probably best suited for in-person conversations, although I've had great conversations uh virtually. I still communicate with Adam Tendler, the pianist. He's awesome. We talk on uh on Instagram and he's doing great. We had a great conversation. Um I can't wait for you guys to hear my conversation with with uh with Anna Goldfarb about friendship. That was virtual. So you can have some great conversations, but once you can sit down and and break bread and have a whiskey with someone, look them in the eye in person, I think it brings a different element to things. So I am extremely excited to do that. And to that end, I've put a lot of work into this 10 by 12 space I'm in. It's a shed. I put this shed in in 20, in 2020, October of 2020, with one of my, with a guy, he's a great guy. His name is Ray. And Ray, we call him all day Ray because he was one of my bar regulars when I was bartending up here at uh Charlie's bar. And we call him all day Ray because he'd be in the bar all day. I mean, it was pretty accurate. But when he was, when he was furloughed from work or something like that, he'd be around. He never got out of hand. This guy, he's just sitting there having conversations, drinking coarse lights like seltzer's, you know, for five, six hours, whatever. Good guy, great guy, and he's a carpenter, he's a master carpenter. And so he was off of work, he didn't have a job, and I said, Hey, I'm gonna buy a shed, I'm gonna buy a kit. Can you help me with it? Can you help me do it? You know, I'll pay your day rate, whatever, we'll have some fun. And boy, we had such a great time putting this goddamn thing together. It was such, it was such a labor of love. It was really hard. Boy, he knows what he's doing, and I'm just, I was somewhat, not say useless, but I was handing him stuff and this and that, and doing some things here. Make us lunch every day. It was it was fun. I my my older daughter was a still blowing the goddamn leaves. Jesus Christ. Holy cow. Unbelievable. I'm just gonna, we're gonna gut through it. So my older daughter was just a newborn at the time, height of COVID, and we put the shed together with a kit. Long story short, we had a great week. Shed. Years later, I'm doing this podcast. Where am I gonna do it? In the shed. Now I'm building a thing out. What you see behind me was the only thing that was covered with those panels. I did insulation and I did the drywall. And so I said, okay, it's time to go. We're gonna make this thing readily available for guests. I go to depot for two more panels. Two more panels. I get there, it's a layup. I I put them on top of the car. I strap them to the top of the car. Now, this is this is uh about two weeks ago, less, less than two weeks ago. And it is one of the windiest days in a very long time. I'm surprised my my grease toupee didn't blow off. I strap these things to the top of the car and I have actual straps. I have legitimate straps. I I was doing everything, and one of the straps just wasn't as secure as as maybe it should have been. It was loose. I get on the highway, almost immediately wind gets under the front of this thing, snaps it in half, and it blows straight back, both both of them. This blow in half and blow off the top of my car. Now, I I I was the first thing I thought of was, oh my god, did I hurt somebody? Now, when you leave this particular Home Depot, you do not get on this big highway, you stay on the shoulder, but you're still on the highway. So I was just, first of all, the panic that set in that I m might have hurt somebody was very concerning. I sort of pulled over, safe distance to look, nothing. There was really nobody behind me. It was sort of a weird time to go, sort of middle of the day-ish, and uh luckily, thank God, nobody got hurt, is the point of the story. Not one person got hurt. So I pulled over and I was gonna try to collect these things. I go, all right, I'm gonna get myself killed playing Frogger to get these panels off the highway. I had no shot at that, so I left them. Now, why do I bring this up? I bring this up because I I knew that I had to take a little more time securing this thing. I knew that there was a possibility of anything that this might have been not as secure as it should have been. And thank God I did not hurt anybody. But sometimes you have to take that extra beat. You have to make that extra effort to completely, completely ensure that that thing is safe, especially when other people are around. Now, you can take this as a metaphor for a million different things, and that's why I'm talking about it. I'm also talking about it because it applies to the show, and it happened last week. So at 44 and a half years old at this point, I'm still doing dumb shit. And I'm still doing stuff negligent things because I'm a human and we fuck up. And I'm a pretty thoughtful person, but this one just kind of got away from me. And I was just so relieved that nothing happened to anybody. I couldn't pull these damn things off the damn highway. And uh, it was just one of those things where I pulled over and and believe me, the the emotional fallout was not great. There were more F-bombs and and self self-loathing from this one because it was so avoidable. It was so avoidable. I was also at the at the the goal line of finishing these walls, and and the missing pieces I needed blew off the top of the goddamn cart because of my negligence. Because I just said, eh, I think it's it's good enough. And with certain things, it's not good enough. You have to you have to figure that thing out. And so yeah, maybe I'm being a little bit hard on myself, especially that nobody got hurt. Again, that's the biggest thing to to uh point out. But someone could have gotten hurt, someone's kids could have been in the car, someone could have covered someone's windshield. Now I'm going like final destination. It wasn't that big a deal. I really was off to the sort of the shoulder. But it was one of those things where it it was this small thing. I reacted in a big way. You just asked my wife about that one. And I just, it just felt like you just went, I went just rock bottom in that moment because it was just so avoidable. And sometimes when you take your eye off the ball for two seconds, some really dumb, avoidable shit can happen. But that's why I wanted to talk about this stuff today, because it's so important to learn from mistakes. And and I swear, if if there's one person out there, there's a young person out there, or or older person, whatever, that you could you could extrapolate some of this and just say, all right, maybe I'll take a just a little extra time with this thing. Um, just to make sure it's it's solvent and it doesn't fly off the goddamn roof. You should have seen this thing. I I mean, I didn't even know it was possible. It was secured in the front. The wind just got under it enough. But Mother Nature, don't mess with her, boy. I guess physics too, for that matter. So that's it. Those are those are just three things that you could absolutely learn from. I wanted to share those. Like I said, I've got plenty more, and I hope that this isn't the uh last time we talk about some of those scruples. But I believe that this is the I think this is the 30th episode when it does come out. And that's and that's pretty great. That's pretty great. And so why not? Let's keep it rolling. Check me out on YouTube. Why do I say YouTube like that? I don't know. I was talking to my wife, like, why do I say YouTube? Like, I don't know. This is how I can't not say it like that. Check me out on YouTube, subscribe, it helps. Instagram, see the New Jersey dad buffoonery that I'm doing on there with some silly little comedic clips I'm having a blast doing. And I hope it all gives you a little bit of a smile. But for now, I'll see you soon. And this has been The Fatherless Teach.
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