The NJ DAD Podcast
The NJ Dad Podcast is where fatherhood meets humor. Join Andrew Parise for honest conversations about parenting, marriage, work, friendships, and the everyday chaos of suburban family life. Some episodes are solo, some feature guests, but they’re all built around one idea: being a better dad doesn’t mean taking yourself too seriously. Whether you’re changing diapers, coaching Little League, navigating date night, or just trying to survive another trip to Costco, you’ll find relatable stories, practical perspective, and plenty of laughs along the way. New episodes every Thursday.
The NJ DAD Podcast
How to Care For Your Parents as a Parent
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SPEAKER_01A note with the number on it. He's flying ladies in from Long Island and Queens and Oberst to come see him. Hey, welcome to the Fatherless Cheat Sheet. I'm your fatherless friend Andrew, your host. As usual, welcome to the second part, part two of our three-part parenting arc series. You could call it whatever you want, but here we are. And today, appropriately enough, this is the sandwich generation. They called the sandwich generation. I like sandwich because uh honestly, who doesn't like a sandwich? It's not that kind of sandwich. And or the bridge generation, generation I know quite a bit about, and a lot of you do as well. I am living in that generation right now where I have two very small children. I have uh my mom, thankfully, thank God, is still with us, and she is well, I'm not gonna give her age. I'll say she's still 36, as I remember her from when I was a kid or the age that she told me she was when I was a kid. Shout out, Linda. And her birthday is actually coming up pretty soon. So happy birthday, Linda. We're gonna have a nice dinner and some cake with the girls and the whole thing. It's a very, very complicated thing, generally speaking, to be a parent, small children, a child of older parents or parents that are getting on in years. You don't know how else to say it, because that's just what it is. And it could be taxing on all parties involved. We're gonna get into that today a little bit. And I just wanted to mention this episode will come out on what is opening day of my beloved New York Mets, my often disappointing New York Mets, but it will come out that day. And it is it is appropriate that it this will come out opening day because I shared so many great memories with both my grandpa over baseball, my uncle who wanted to talk about with baseball, my mom with with baseball and the Mets and my team teams and games. And now my girls, we have a great time. They went to their first Met game last year and they really enjoyed it, and it was really nice. And talk about a bridge. It really, well, you have to cross 17 bridges to get to City Fields from where I am. That's a different conversation, but it really is a bridge to a connection with all of us. And whatever that thing is, I hope you can find it and have as much enjoyment for it as we do with baseball, as I've spoken about many times and and will continue to do that. But anyway, let's get into it on the fatherless cheat sheet. Check it out. Okay, we're back on the fatherless cheat sheet talking about the sandwich generation, not the sandwich generation and Joey Tribiani of it all. Who doesn't love a good sandwich? I had a good sandwich today, actually. I don't really get too many sandwiches anymore. I my I don't know, I just can't can't eat as many of them and as as much as I used to. I guess that's part of getting a little, a little bit older. But it was a pretty good one. It was on a bagel. Does that count? You guys count that? Turkey cheese on a bagel's a sandwich. Yeah, right? It's a bagel sandwich, whatever. But I've had a some pretty deep experience with this being a caregiver. Uh in terms of my mom, there is a level of caregiving. I'm not gonna really get uh too deep into that, not gonna delve into that too much, give too much detail. It exists and it is what it is, and I would do anything for her forever. And so I'm not really gonna talk about that too much. But I will talk about my uncle. He he passed about a year ago. Talked about him on the Thanksgiving episode, I had a very short Thanksgiving episode, and I spoke about him. He was a great man, good man, he was a character in his own right. He was a quiet man, he was a bachelor. He he enjoyed the the simple things in life, and he he died just before his ninety-third birthday, and it was a good run for him, and he really he got the most out of the simple things in life, and that's the thing that sticks out most about him to me. And for about I would say about six years, probably about a decade, s gently, it wasn't as intense as uh the six years that I'm gonna sort of talk to you about. But I had a he had no other family, he never had kids, and geographically speaking, my cousins and my sister sort of live around the country, different places, and I was here and he and I always had a good relationship. So over time I sort of became the de facto guy, his guy, if you will. And the the role was suited for me, and and I was happy to do it. It was difficult at times, it was extremely inconvenient at times, if I'm being honest, but it obviously just what you do. It's family, and he needed somebody, and so that's what I did, and it coincided with my firstborn being born, and it was sort of uh thrown into the the fire with with this topic I'm talking about, where his health started to really diminish, and we started to have to come up with a plan uh a plan of care, a plan of sort of they call it estate planning. He didn't have an estate, he had a co-op in Queens. Uh and I, if anybody's listening, don't ever get involved in the co-op if you can help it. For the love of God, don't do it. Do anything else. Now, in New York City and Queens, place like that, you just you may not have a choice. And so tread lightly and make sure you're nice to those people on the co-op board because they won't help you. So it turned into this thing where it was a gradual. I started taking him to some appointments and this and that, and then he winds up in the hospital. I'm going back and forth to the hospital in Long Island from Jersey, and because he really had nobody else. He had a lady friend who was a friend of his, and won't get into the details of that. But it just kind of happens where you're you turn into the caregiver. Because what are you what are you supposed to do? You want to do it, of course you want to do it, but it's challenging. It's like I said, it can be inconvenient. But at the end of the day, you want to give care, dignity, resources to that person who you've known all your life and that you know needs help and is hard up. I'll sort of fast forward a little bit to when I got him, finally I got him to move to closer to me in Jersey to a living community, like a retirement community. Boy, do I want to do my Tony Soprano accent. I won't. And I remember I had a, I had a was devastated to do it to him, but I had to put him in an Uber. He was in and out of, he was in and out of rehab facilities in Queens. And when they finally were going to release him, I said, I can't, like you need, you need help, you need care. You can't live by yourself coming out of this facility, this rehab place coming out of the hospital. But I couldn't get there. I couldn't pick him up. So I put him in an Uber. And I'm tracking, I'm tracking this Uber. And then the Eagles landed. So I I met him. My sister actually happened to be in town. We met him at the place. And the second he stepped out of that Uber, it's almost as if like that movie Cocoon, or even better, Field of Dreams. You know, when Doc Graham steps over the well, that's backwards because he turns old. He stepped out of the car and you he might as well have done a jig, a dance, because this place, this great place in New Jersey, it took such great care of him. The socialization, he had friends and and good meals and care. It gave him, you know, four and a half more years of his life. And I was grateful to them for that. And he was close. And we sort of got into a pretty decent shorthand about his caretaking in terms of doctors and what he needed at the grocery store. He'd leave me these long, these long voicemails. I would just listen to the voicemails going up and down the aisles of Wegmans or Whole Foods or whatever, getting him groceries to drop it off because he had like a little kitchenette and a living situation. And the thing that made me happiest about the whole thing, although again, I'll say it over and over again, may he rest in peace, pal. I'd say it to your face. It was at times it was terribly inconvenient and really difficult. I had uh a newborn, and then she got a little bit older, then I had an my second daughter was born. So I had some stuff going on. And anyway, um, but you put that aside because you say, no, this person, you're trying to give this person quality of life and dignity and what they need in the you in the last stages. I d I mean, I thought it was the last stages for him, you know, every couple of years, but he just kept he was a strong guy. He just kept rallying, going, and really enjoying his life. You know, I remember when he passed, he passed in his, he was in hospice, but he was hospice care, but he was in his facility. I was with him the day before. And uh I left. I was shaving to go back there that that day. And then they told me that he passed. And, you know, this was not a put on. The folks there were so devastated, and someone came up to me, and one of his his old buddies at the place, he said, he was my best friend. He started crying. So he really made an impact at the place and made some deep connections over that fairly short time. When you look at his life of 93 years, and you look at he was there for about four, I mean it's a pretty short clip, but it was a meaningful clip, and he was able to you get so much out of that. And f the the thing that I that I know that I I feel good about is that I did everything I could for him. I did everything I could for him. I have no regrets about how any of that went down and any kind of frustration on my end or, you know, time spent, it was worth it because I know that he got a great, great quality of life and in the last great few years of his life to enjoy himself. And so, anyway, that was my pal. And uh I just want to tell one more quick, funny story without going too long. When I was when he got settled into the to the community, to the living community, what do they call it? Retirement community, assisted living, assisted living. He he kind of started asking me about the ins and outs of Uber because he took one. I said, Yeah, what do you need to know? I'm right here. I could take you where you need to go. You want to go to lunch for get you something to eat? Well, what do you want? He goes, No. He met a he met a lady friend at the rehab and he had a number. He pulls out this sticky pad, or what not sticky pad, you know, a note, a note with the number on it. He's flying ladies in from Long Island and Queens and Ubers to come see him. She actually came to see him with it with her daughter at some point, and he told me about it. I was just howling because that was just so him. He didn't lose, he didn't lose it for a second. 93 years old. He's bringing women in from rehabs he met. God bless him. And and, you know, we should all enjoy our lives that much and to till the very end. And anyway, so that was a little bit about that. But with all that, I learned, you know, I learned a lot as well. I learned about even the medical care. And and although the system is really at times really screwed up, there are really wonderful, caring people in the medical community who really deeply care about our older generation. And I learned a lot about sort of uh the logistics of these things, and and as you get older, what you need to do. And as as you're when you're young, what you need to set up for yourself moving forward. So a lot of this stuff doesn't slip through the cracks, if you will. And but that's, you know, that's another episode. And I think Nick, our great guest on money, Nick talked about a little bit about that. Maybe we'll have him on for sort of estate planning down the road. He does some of that stuff. But it also gives you, with all this stuff, heaping, heaping loads and tablespoons of perspective and patience and more empathy, bolsters the empathy, and it teaches you about yourself and it teaches you how to manage those selfish feelings that we may have around this. And again, I'm not perfect. There were times I'm just being honest with you, I was pissed off that I had to deal with this myself. I was really pissed off and at times desperate, at times sleep deprived, and I just wanted to be with my kids and put everything into them, but I just couldn't do that. So that's a great theme of this is that there's such juxta juxtaposition that you want to give everybody the attention they need. Frustration comes from that. And believe me, for this older generation, this is no picnic for them. They don't want, they don't want this. They don't want to have help. You know, um, I I I'm one of the most stubborn people ever, ever. I I don't even want to think about it if my girls ever have to help me with anything. I don't want that for for them or their lives. I mean, I want to stick around long enough that I need it, but I don't I don't want that to happen. So it's all very, it's a tough, it's a tough spot for everybody. And um, I just want to do a a quick, real quick, a quick top five. A top five again. A quick top five about the things I sort of appreciate most about the older generation. And we'll do that first. I I feel like our older generation at times is taken for granted as as older things are, as, as things with seasoning often are, and that's a real shame. But I just want to give this to the older generation real quick. Number five, their authenticity, their grouchiness, and their gratitude. That's all that's all number five, because you know, I hedge, I can't make up my mind. What I mean by that is they're they're grouchy because they see how life from for what it is and they're uncomfortable, they're oftentimes in pain or sick, worse, and the authenticity is there, they are who they are, and and sometimes even and the gratitude is there as well. That's why it's that cluster. It just made sense to me. But even if they don't tell you that they appreciate what you're doing, they do. I I believe they do. Number four, their willingness to deal with your ass all these years. I I you know, I I saw my my firstborn it was the first person to see her. And and hopefully I'll be around for a very long time that I can see for the both of my girls all of it, and I can know all the crumbs and all the great and all the bad and everything, and I will still love them desperately, no matter what. So, so this older generation, if there's still a great relationship, a good relationship, they're sticking around despite your bullshit, and they know all of it, and then some. So that's number four. Um, I'm gonna bring this computer closer. Their experience and willingness to share their knowledge. Life's greatest teacher is experience, and and they have it in spades. And if if you're willing to speak to them and listen, oftentimes they will tell you all about it. And I really I love that about older folks. Number two, they don't give a shit. You know why? Because they don't have to. It's over. Not it's over, it sounds terrible. I don't mean that. They don't give a shit because all the all the the stupid things, the masks we put on, that's over for them. They don't have to do that anymore. All of the the facades and and and the games and the bullshit, it's done. They're done with it. So they don't give a shit. I love that. I love that. There's nothing better than that. I think we could all we could all learn to do that uh a a little bit sooner in life, maybe. And number one, they made it this far. Have you looked outside? Have you read the news? All the the shit show that goes on. How the hell, how do you make it through? But they have, they've done it, and they just keep they've gone on and they've dealt with with loss, heartache, jobs, careers that span new jobs, firings, kids, raising kids, putting kids through college. So that's number one. They made it, they made it this far, and they should be lauded for that because uh this shit ain't easy. Well, we try to have fun doing it, and here we are, hence, hence this show that I have so much fun doing it. I hope you like watching it and listening to my kibbles and bits and bullshit. Because I really do enjoy it. Um now the the part of the biggest theme here is that Americans, you know, we're having children older. My wife and I had children a little bit older in life, not that much older, but a little bit older. People are living older. So there you go. There's the bridge. Um let's see. Yeah, life expectancy has increased, extending that care. You know, when when there's a when there's a role reversal, it could be emotionally taxing. You know, a lot of people can't deal with a hangnail these days. So then all of a sudden they have a child and then now they have a sick parent. That's a lot to deal with. So it can really be quite destabilizing. And, you know, in many ways, a lot of times this is not all bad. I mean, I know people, I know very, very active, um, vital older folks and and grandparents who are really leaning in and helping raising their grandchildren, and that's wonderful. And it's also there's not nothing better for grandparents than time spent with their grandchildren. I know my my girls love their G, forget it. And so, and I know how much that gives my mom and how much vitality it gives her, and and just it ups her spirit. She's just happier. Of course, the the great kids, they're hysterical. Um time scarcity creates resentment. Marriage strain often increases in this phase. That can happen as well. Look, there's there are only only so many hours in the day, and you know, you have to whack that pie up somehow. And if you're you wouldn't believe how long certain things take. Just takes a while to do certain things. Uh doctor's appointment, uh preparing pills or meals or this or that, all of these things, it's quite difficult. And, you know, the stage, this phase tests emotional maturity. Again, going back to the thing about not being able to handle certain things, as a young parent or or just a parent in general. If you're sort of a you know, a self-directed person, let's just call it that, and maybe immature and maybe all you've thought about was was your own stuff, which is fine. It could be a wake up call with all of these things. So there's a lot that goes into it. Um you know, and it's also it's also hard to see your parent suffering or sick or fragile. In any kind of way, and I speak I speak broadly.
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SPEAKER_01And where do where do the boundaries lie? You know, you have to you have to lean in certain ways. And again, I harp on this all the time, especially with my mom, just just uh making she's a she's a human being, and and I I like to show her dignity and respect and make sure she has both of those things and take care of whatever she needs. But at the same time, you know, you don't want to infantilize uh uh a grandparent. You don't want to just treat them like a a baby or a child. And so there's some definite line towing there that can be difficult at times. And the financial toll that that's there as well. I want to talk about real quick. I found an article I thought it was sort of interesting, and I'm gonna hit that real quick. And the article is an AP article by someone named Kathy Busowitz. Thanks, Kath. Um sixty-three million Americans give care to an adult family member. Well, I that was staggering to me. 63 million. That's a lot of damn people. Uh there's this is about employee caregiving benefits. And I'm not going to get too much in the weeds here, but many people have to quit their job in order to care for somebody. And that only affects, not only affects their income, but retirement benefits, loss of productivity for the employer who may have lost a great person. And, you know, finding ways to support family caregivers is a huge employment issue right now. And so, and to meet the demand, companies or organizations have started offering a variety of caregiving benefits, flexible schedule, helping them find resources, and you know, determining how they can support them in the workplace. You know, it's it's sort of weird because with this reading about this a little bit, it's things go back to where they start. There's a they talk about a woman who cares for her mom who has Alzheimer's, and she has a monitor on her all day from work, and she works remotely as well. So when she's home, she's keeping an eye on her, she's keeping an eye on her asleep. It's like I have a I have a monitor on the girls, and it's it's just like the you know, that revolution is not is not lost on me. That I the irony that you just kind of go back to where you started. Um the the wheelchair of it all and the baby stroller of it all. And it's sort of a sobering, sad thought to a degree. And then when you're sort of in the middle of those two things, I guess the metaphor could be you can't wheel a stroller and a and a wheelchair at the same time. So anyway. But I thought that was sort of interesting. There's some employees offer access to care concierges uh who specialize in helping employees find healthcare providers, which is just at more astronomical costs. I remember trying to find my uncle some nurses at the time, and and you couldn't, first of all, you couldn't find any. Um, and he gets a little grabby sometimes. So I had to, you know, I had to put oven mitts on him when the lady was there. But, you know, it's just, it's, it's this complicated. I think at the end of the day, what I'm sort of seeing in all of these different pieces of information I'm reading about, it's this, it's this thing where, you know, there's frustration, there's some resentment. You know, the the older person doesn't want to be cared for, but they need it. The child doesn't know what the hell's going on, and they're they're, you know, kids, they're they're their own world. All they think about is themselves, and that because that's just how they're wired. They don't understand why your attention is divided.
SPEAKER_00Um but I will say though, and we're gonna get to this in a second.
SPEAKER_01It's so important and special, I guess you can say. A couple different things uh I can highlight that are really special. And one is a a child's ability and the privilege and opportunity to spend that time with their grandparents. Grandparents in a child's life, I talked to my wife about her grandma, who was as special to her as my grandpa was to me, and her whole face lights up. She revered her grandma, and uh many, many, many people have that experience, especially if they had the opportunity to be around them very long. And my grandma passed when I was five years old, so I didn't have uh much time with her. But again, luckily I was with my grandpa for a long time, 20 years. But that time is so invaluable. So it's like it's that trade-off almost, if especially if they're even closer where you're giving constant care or they live with you or whatever. But uh the other thing is when your child sees that care given, when that my girls see me helping out my mom and you know, my wife helping out my whatever we're doing for her, they want to lean in and they want to help. They can't. They're sweet about it. Sometimes it's like, guys, get out of the way, I gotta do this thing. But they really they mean it and they it teaches them that empathy, that sensitivity, that nurturing thing, where it really it hu it humanizes the parent. It's just this this innate, intrinsic thing that they feel that they see happening. So I think that's a huge, huge net positive, both of those things, obviously time spent.
SPEAKER_00Um okay.
SPEAKER_01So we're gonna go, we're just gonna talk a little bit about we're getting well, we're gonna get long on the tooth in this episode. We're gonna talk about sort of positive and negative effects across the board um for the child and for the older relative.
SPEAKER_00I I just mentioned it.
SPEAKER_01Exposure to family responsibility, children's positive. Children see that family members take care of each other across generations. Negative, they may feel they may associate family responsibility with stress or pressure. Number two, empathy and compassion. Watching a parent care for a grandparent can deepen empathy. Uh, negative, a heavy emotional environment can create anxiety around illness. Well, that's life. Uh, early maturity, positive, children may develop awareness and maturity beyond their years. Negative, they may feel they had to grow up too fast. Again, that's life. Buckle up, buttercup, that's life. Stronger grandparent relationships. Kids gain wisdom, stories, and family history. Negative decline or illness may be confusing or upsetting. Again, that is just, yeah, of course it's upsetting. But again, that's part of this whole thing. Appreciation for sacrifice, positive. They learn generosity and service. Negative, they may feel their own needs are sometimes secondary. I think, yeah, I can see that. But you know, we might could use a heaping tablespoon of that these days. And I don't mean to sound ancient. I'm not. I get it. But sometimes I think some of the we are self-driven society, boy. Uh awareness of life cycles. Children understand aging and family continuity. Negative. It may introduce fears about mortality early. I'm gonna give you sort of uh a different angle on that. There are I don't know who they are. I'm not gonna footnote it. You know, I'm not an expert, but I've heard about societies of people who talk about death with regularity, and they are the happiest, most well-adjusted people because they have perspective. And I think that's important. I think you can't you can't run from something like that. I think it's important to have those conversations and be absolutely sort of upfront about that. Household cooperation. Kids help more and develop responsibility, negative expectations may become burdensome. Well, I don't know. Emotional resilience. They learned coping skills through real experiences. I think going back to episode one of parenting, how do you make strong kids? Just living real life, trying not to shield kids from from real stuff when it happens. Negative of that household stress may create emotional fatigue. Understanding aging. Children develop respect for older generations. Great. Without uh negative, without explanation, illness or dementia may feel frightening. 10. Sense of family legacy. Kids see themselves as part of a multi-generational story. Negative, they feel pressure to carry the same responsibilities later. You know, I gotta tell you, for the kids, a lot of the stuff is pretty thin. I don't really, I don't know. A lot of the negatives are a little a little thin for me. You know, so what? Aurora feels a little put out and she doesn't have all the attention that day. It's okay. It's okay. You know, me, me, Marjorie needed to go to the doctor. I had a run or the CVS, Aurora. It's gonna be just fine. We're gonna take care of you. You'll go see Taylor Swift. Calm down. I think the goods, I think that for kids, unless it's a really tough, detrimental situation, I always leave that in there. I think for the kids, it's probably okay. It's not look, uh much of this isn't ideal, even for the older person involved. Let's get to that right now. How the situation affects the older parent. Sense of being cared for, positive. Older parents feel supported and valued by their adult children. Lovely, returning all the solids from all the years spent. Negative. They feel guilt about being a burden. Yeah, that's a big one. I can, I can see that. I can definitely see that. And again, go back to the dignity thing. Nobody wants to feel like they're putting somebody out or they feel like a burden. Nobody wants to feel that way. And unfortunately, a lot of times they don't have a choice. They don't have a choice. And it's it's just a difficult, it's a difficult situation. Continued family connection. They remain closely connected to children and grandchildren. Of course. Time well spent. Negative. They worry they are disrupting their child's family's life. Number three, emotional security. No positive. Knowing family is present and can bring comfort and stability. Negative. Loss of independence may lead to frustration. For sure. For sure. Of course. You take, you know, you take your car keys away. How are you going to feel about that? So you have to, you have to try to put yourself in that person's shoes and maybe, you know, Grandpa Charles is driving on the wrong side of the road and it's time, but it's still not easy to take his keys away. You know, he's been doing that thing for a very long time, sometimes with a roadie. So let's see. Opportunity to pass down wisdom. Positive. Grandparents could share stories, traditions, lessons, negative. They feel their advice is ignored or outdated. Well, I won't worry so much about the outdated. Sometimes I guess. I don't know. Feeling needed. Being part of the household can give purpose and dignity. Yep. Uh if illness limits them, negative, they feel useless or helpless. Yeah, it's all kind of around the same. Close relationship with grandchildren, daily interaction deepens bonds. Uh negative, they may feel sad if their health prevents full engagement. Eh, that's a little thin. Of course, they're going to feel sad if they can't do do everything, but you know, you do what you can in the time given. Seven, witnessing family continuity. Seeing grandchildren grow reinforces legacy and meaning. Negative, they may feel sadness about aging nearing the end of life. Again, kind of thin. Uh emotion, not thin, I know. I'm not saying there's not sadness about age nearing the end of life. I'm just saying the negatives are kind of broad, and I think the positives at times outweigh it. Emotional gratitude. Many experience deep gratitude towards uh toward their caregiving children. Oh, that's yeah, that's great. Negative, they worry their child is sacrificing too much. That's true. That could be true too. Uh shared household life, positive. Being around family reduces loneliness. Big, big thing for older people. Loneliness, it's it's a plague, and it way too many older folks. I mean, uh even probably younger people at this point. Everybody's in a silo, many people are, and it really affects your mental health, and then your physical health diminishes. But the negative of that one is lack of privacy or autonomy can be difficult. Yeah, absolutely. And then 10, legacy reflection. Positive. They see values, they pass down, lived out in the family. Negative, they may reflect on regrets or unfinished aspects of life. I think that I think when we're all in the, in the whenever our last quarter is, I think we're all going to feel a little bit like maybe we didn't do something right here or there. But I will say when, you know, every one of my favorite days of the year, which I've spoken about, is when we put the Christmas tree up. And, you know, my mom's sitting here with the girls and she's unwrapping, she's unwrapping the Christmas ornaments and she unwraps it, and every single one. Oh, I love this. This is my favorite. This is so pretty. Oh my God. I'm like, yeah, you say it every year. But you love it. It's like this whole thing we do every single year, and that's nice, and she's passing that along. Now, to me, you know, my wife, and to the girls, and it's it's a lovely tradition. And I think a lot of this stuff, when you weigh it out on the scales of justice, a lot of the a lot of this stuff, it's better to have than to have not. And so it's a real it's a real conundrum at times, and I think uh it's a positive that people are living later and older. People are having children later, and it just, you know, like everything else, it has to be dealt with head on, with nuance, with sensitivity, with empathy, and you know, sometimes with a nice cold martini, because it can it can weigh on you as the person in the middle of the the sandwich. And there were times where I felt like a a double decker, you know, triple stacked club sandwich uh with well done bacon. That's what my wife gets. But um just a little perspective here, and and again, I've said it before, and not to be precious, and never try to be precious. There's there's precious is covered out there. There's uh experts are covered out there and precious. This ain't the show for that. But if you have that old person in your life and and you know, you owe them a phone call or or you know, let them talk for a little bit longer. I don't know. I just I I do believe in that. And I don't always, I don't always live by what I say on the show. I try to, I try to do that. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode of the fatherless cheat sheet. Please, please, please tell your friends, tell them to subscribe, tell them to like, check out my Instagram page, reach out, say hey, fatherlesscheat sheet at gmail.com. Reach out, go to YouTube, go smash that subscribe button. How about these guys just smashing subscribe buttons? Jesus Christ. This all this stuff is so counterintuitive, but really go smash that subscribe button. Thank you for watching and listening. This has been the fatherless cheat.
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