The Open Door | Gina & Paul Halladay | Legacy Talks EP. 05

Most people walk past the young person sitting alone on the street. Gina and Paul Halladay open the door. In this episode of Legacy Talks, Katarzyna Krawiecka sits down with Gina and Paul Halladay, co-founders of Bright Futures Foundation, a Community Interest Company dedicated to supporting young adults aged 18 to 25 facing homelessness, low self-esteem, and emotional vulnerability.

But this is not just a story about what they built. It is a story about why they built it. Gina and Paul know this world from the inside.

They have lived through bullying, trauma, and family instability themselves. And instead of moving on and leaving it all behind, they chose to go back. To open the door for the young people who needed someone to open it for them

In this conversation we talk about what it truly means to turn personal pain into purpose. About the young people who walked through their door with nothing and left with hope. About the personal cost of showing up every day for people the world has forgotten. And about why Gina and Paul will never stop.

This is one of the most moving conversations Legacy Talks has ever recorded.

If you know a young adult aged 18 to 25 who is struggling, please share this episode. It could change their life.

Do you have a story that deserves to be heard? Complete the form and join us:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FA...

Find out more about Katarzyna Krawiecka and her work:https://linktr.ee/kasiakrawieckaIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure you check out the other conversations on this channel. Every single guest has a story that will stay with you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Ladies and gents, there's a question most of us never stop to ask. What can I give back? And to whom? I met Gina and Paul Halliday on the stage in Manchester a few months ago, and I remembered they were very, very real, and they were opposite to the noise that was on the stage. And at that point I thought these are the people I would like to talk to at some point in the future. And I'm really, really glad that they're here with me today. Uh, Gina Paul has taken young people to their homes, young people with nowhere to go. They are not a charity. We're going to hear the story because I feel that the story is going to inspire a lot of you. I've been looking forward to this conversation for a long time. Welcome to Legacy Talks. Um, so honored to be here.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

Thank you very much. Well, honored to be here. Thank you for giving your time and and and this space for us.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

It's the second time when we start recording this uh um episode. Uh but there's always always a reason behind it. When I saw you on stage, I saw two people who are very clear about who they are and why they are on the stage. And I wanted to understand how someone becomes that clear. So take me back before before the young people, before the open door, before anyone looked at you and saw the people who help. Who are you both then?

SPEAKER_03 1:42

This is a this is a very recent thing for us, just to just to kind of say this have this hasn't been a life path that's been in place for all this time, but it's been a life path that's been building, I feel. Um, and I think that's one of the things that we really reflected on in the last kind of six, six or eight months, or kind of when we when we kind of started thinking about this more, about the you know, experiences in your life, they're there to teach you something, they're there to show you a way. Do you know what I mean? And that's kind of where we're at at the moment. So I had a very unsettled childhood, very, very unsettled. It was pretty broken home, um, mental illness in the family, a relationship, parental relationships that weren't really working from a from a kind of a step-parent kind of point of view, if that makes sense. I think because of all these things that have happened to me, I've always been very, I've got to rely on myself a lot. I don't, I've never kind of opened up very much, I've never kind of put my trust in a lot of people because people don't, people change. There needs to be a constant, I think, in my life. You know, that's kind of what I've always thought of. Um so growing up, I was incredibly shy, incredibly insurer, incredibly happy. I've always been happy, always been had a positive outlook on life, even in the worst situations. And I think that's been a big, a big kind of help to me. When we got together, I was in my early 20s, and Paul's that constant. Basically, we are we're yin and yang, we can we kind of just go together so well. So Paul's just been that absolute steady steadiness that I need in my life, because I'm kind of turned a lot at the time. But yeah, yourself, Paul.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

It's a very different story, like similar.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

I mean, I I already always had a stable, worried family around me, but um I did have challenges when I was a child in school um for a long time. That still happens in schools. And I think that really, although I was happy in life, I wasn't happy in school. I d I I did not like going to school because of that. Way up until my early twenties, uh very, very shy person. Um Dina doesn't believe it now that I was sort of shy, you know, show me up. But but I was um and I think a lot of that was is true, not because I wasn't supported in loving family, that helped. But probably because I didn't open up and speak out and what did you do as a young age. You kinda just you get on with it, and and I think it was only as I say till early twenties that I really started to cry my shell. I was lucky enough that my passion is is is sport, I was into athletics, from a very, very young age. That that was my love, that was what I didn't. And I think that was a big, big thing that helped me get through and my family as well as having that was my get out, that was my kind of stress relief and still is just somewhere to go. And I I think that was that was a big, big, big plus in my life, and it it it got me around people, it got me around people, and and I think that's where my confidence grew. Um as Gina said, this this hasn't been real, it hasn't been that thing this this is this has just been over the the years. Think through what we've been through and then our kids so the same patterns occurring, and it's like this isn't right.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

This is this is this is not good. It's not right, it's not it's not right for these things to continue to to kind of happen, to go on, you know, for for young people it's just not a good place to be. You have to excuse us, we get very emotional about this because it's all very new and real and you know, pulling off things as well.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

And uh what what you said that you know what what really matters is that as you said, it's important to you. Things could be scripted, and we could all have uh fantastic makeup, uh, and we could talk about things that don't matter. I would like to ask you something a little more personal. Was there ever a moment in your life when you felt what young people who are abandoned feel now? That sense of not knowing where to turn, wondering if anyone actually saw you, feeling like the doors was closed and you didn't know how to ask for help?

SPEAKER_03 6:30

So I suppose for myself, so I I was asked to leave. So my my parents split, if you like, when I was just coming up to 18, and um I was kind of left in. So my my dad moved out, I was left with my and my stepmom. We didn't really get on very well, we never did. Um, she just kind of, you know, basically it was not really any any need for you to be here now. So you need to kind of go, and that's that that's quite hard as a as an 18-year-old, obviously. Lucky for me, um, I listened to my dad, I got a safe, secure job, so I was okay, I was secure, I was fine. But what do you do? You know, what do you do? As I said before, I I'm a kind of person that will sort myself out. I struggle sometimes to ask for help, to ask for support. So for me, staying at people's houses was never a thing. It was never, it was never something that I would have done. You know, some but a lot of a lot of young people, and I'm saying this generalizing, I suppose, but when when you're in that situation, what do you do? You have to call out for help, you have to go and stay at somebody's house. It's very, it's an uncomfortable feeling, a really uncomfortable feeling. And I'm absolutely sure to go and live in somebody else's space is not a great way to be. Although it's there, you know, that it's it it has to be right. I didn't feel like that at the time. So I I kind of rigged up, we had a we had a garage with two floors. I rigged up a little space in the garage, rigged up a mattress, got myself some plastic tubs, made myself some sandwiches, and I I basically lived there for a couple of weeks in the garage until I could so just just to give me time to kind of get myself out there and find where I could go, you know. I came from Blackpool, I lived in Blackpool, so there are so many spaces you can go and stay and live, you know, in in Blackpool. It's one of the it's one of these places where there are there are places there. So I I got myself a little bedsit, a little kind of one room thing in a in a shared accommodation. I stayed there for for six or so months, I think it was. And then um a friend of mine knew somebody that an uncle who had a place and I and I went and I and I actually moved out and I got independent very quickly. So although it wasn't a great situation, I think I was lucky that I had some resilience, some um determination, I suppose, because it, you know, when you're 18, it's a scary place, it's a scary thing to have to go and try and find yourself and you know, find accommodation, move out, live there and and and kind of fend for yourself a little bit, especially in a shared accommodation where you don't know who else is living there. It was a shared bathroom, it was a it was an unusual situation. So I think for me, I think because I was quite resilient and I and I kind of have that not confidence, not outward confidence, but I suppose inner confidence that I'm I'll be okay because I'm I'm here for me. That helped me an awful lot. And I think that's the yeah, I don't know if you you kind of reflect on anything similar, but I I think for me is it it's it's kind of the other way.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

So I've always had that support around me from the family. It may not have been game what I'm going through because I hadn't expressed that. I was very shy of very low self-esteem. You know, was I good enough to get a job? Um and it took me a long time, you know. Why can't I get a job like that? And I was lost. I was lost the times I I felt that alone. I had a good friend when I was growing up, I had a a good a good mate, but and he moved away. And then I was just in this lost space. It was like there was nobody else. It was you could say like a put all my eggs in one basket, he was my true mate growing up, and then all of a sudden he wasn't there. And I was lost for a long time. Yeah, I had friends when I went to the track and around, but I didn't really have a true link with somebody, and I think having a stable home helped me get through what I was going through. So I think a bit different to Gina. I think that's kind of where we're at with helping young people. It's you've got to find your own way, but when you know somebody's there and somebody's believing in you and gets what you're trying to do, yeah, then I think that's that's such a massive thing. And that certainly for me is is having that stability for a family that I had, I think helped me a lot, and I found my own way through it. But I don't think I would have been in that situation had I not had that. I think that that's that's the key for me.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Um how did you both meet?

SPEAKER_01 11:17

I like Jean to tell you that one.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

Tell the official version. So we so we met in work, basically, we met in work. So I being from Blackpool, I was in a um not a very good relationship with with somebody. I I I'm a runner. I don't know if anyone can relate to this. I'm a runner. If something's not right, I I go, I move, I I change. I had a lot of change in my life. So I moved to Preston. So I I kind of like made a switch, gone, I'm going. That's it, I'm going on my own, sort myself out again. And then um worked in Preston. Yeah, found found a kind of uh yeah, a a decent place to work. It was a nice place, wasn't it? A nice office. And Paul was on my team. So um, yeah, the my my version of events is I'd spend the whole week chatting. Quite like that at the time, and then Paul would do all my work at weekend. So for me it was a brilliant match.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

No, that that is that is pretty much the way pretty much the way.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

Do you know no, we we just we just we were friends, we were friends for a long, long time. Um yeah, it just kind of you know, it just went from there, didn't it? It's just uh I think sometimes you just you just bond with somebody and you don't necessarily expect something to happen or or you know will it to happen. Yeah, it's just one of those things and we just never look out cleverly. It's been just been easy. Everything's just been easy, you know, from then on. So it's a nice feeling.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

Yeah, it was nice because I mean Gina, as she said, she, you know, obviously had a terrible difficult relationship, and and I was in one at the time, and then obviously when I came out of that relationship, that's when myself and Gina got together. But you do kind of doubt yourself and think, you know, and I I just think that's where I kind of had grown up a bit in life and thought, you know what? Not invention, not in game, what's the worst that she can say to me? Even though it did take me a long time to ask her out, it was well worth it.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

He kept it that he left it that long, his car bottomed. That's what happened. He left it that long that somebody stole his car off the car park.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

But but to add to that, we were going on a day that night. I I thought, I am not got not going on this day. So I asked my dad, could he use his car? Um and I I so we went to my dad. And maybe if that hadn't happened, I don't know where we would have been, you know. Um so yeah, it was kind of yeah, I'm not gonna let my car get inch to feed me going on a one day before yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:58

So how long you've been together? Oh my goodness. Thirteen years.

unknown 14:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Thirty years.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

What you said was is really precious because choosing to be with someone as a friend, and then you start building your life together because you can see the person from completely different angles. Can you tell me about your project? What who do you help?

SPEAKER_01 14:25

And uh I think I think it's all stemmed really from as we go back to we've already told about what our childhood has been like. And then bringing, you know, two beautiful, brilliant kids, or it has challenges and we saw the same patterns happening to them. Um and it was hard. It's it is hard because you want to do as much as you can because you kind of get where they are at, not all the time, because you can't get inside their heads. But it's you it's hard because they can only get through through them things themselves and and I think seeing what they went through and then you know one of the big things for for our two kids is they've always been, you know, um vocal of us. You know, if anybody's ever challenged who we are, they they've they've challenged. So I'll give you an example, you know, you know, we we we worked we worked hard to get where we're at. You know, we we didn't have we didn't have a lot of money when we were growing up. Um in in when we got married, the house but we lived within our means and we made sure we enjoyed ourselves and it was just you know, that's what our I think that held us bond a lot better. We didn't go within our our means, we didn't want to we have to compete with this person, that one. We've got this amount of money and this is what we can do, and I think the we've instilled that into our kids. So I think people have challenged and said, Oh, it's okay for your mum and dad, you've got a nice house, and and and for them then to say, Whoa, just take that step aback a bit. My mum and dad have worked really, really hard to get where they have been and to support us. They haven't had it given on a plate. Yeah. And I think when you hear it that from your own kids, you think, do you know what we we're obviously done something right bringing them up? And then we just think from there they felt open enough to say to us, Mum, Dad, who've got a friend, they know where to go, they've been thrown out. Can they come and start with us? And um I mean that's for your kids to do that to ask you that they obviously feel other people can be safe in our environment. And that's what we've done. I mean, we've always been helpers, we've always been givers. We're not into fancy things. That's that's that's not us, you know. We don't want a flash car, we don't really want a flash house. We've got a nice house to live in, we've got a a decent car to drive. But when that happened, I think kind of I don't really made us realise. I said, not right away, but you know, to to see somebody come into your house and then just even give them that little bit of a a live.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

I can't explain how you how how you feel when Yeah, it's almost like it's like um and you know, anyone anyone from from our and and like you've only got that link with our children and how they kind of bring people it sounds weird to kind of bring people to us, it's not that way, but the way we feel is once you come into our world, you've been our world, and therefore you're in our you're in our space and we'll we'll absolutely do anything that we can possibly physically do to help and and and support and and and help people to kind of move up, you know. Any anyone that we want to come into our space, we want to leave elevated, that that's just the way we've always been. That's just the way we kind of we kind of live. And so like I said before, it's it's not right. It's not right that there are young people out there that I think the thing with us, and I'm gonna just gonna I'll I'll probably go on tangents here, but the thing for us is that there are gaps, there's a system and there's gaps in it. And although everybody is doing the right thing, everyone's trying the right, right things, everyone's everyone's all organizations, charities, everybody is putting things in place that need to fill a gap, need to fill a need, but there's not the join up, there's not that join up there. And I think with our with our children dealing with kind of, you know, um you know, mental health and and their their confidence, their self-esteem, their personas, and their kind of, you know, and and they've been in a world that's not been accepted to them, you know, and we're always everyone needs to be an individual, and their and their individual individuality hasn't been accepted by some people, and that's that's um again is another and a whole other story, but that's not right as well. And for us, we want anything, anything goes, we want people to be them, we want people to be their their real selves, and and that's the thing, and we will accept, you know, there's never any judgment from us or anything like that, you know, we'll accept people. And when our two were going through that journey, they there was gaps in the system, there was a lot of navigating, you know, there was a lot of and and we had someone who was exceptionally supportive, certainly for our for our youngest son, he was exceptionally supportive, and and if we hadn't had him in place, we wouldn't have been able to navigate it ourselves as parents, certainly going from that childhood kind of service to that adult service as well. So, and that's what we want to do with this programme. We we don't want to just we don't want to just want to come come with all the answers, we don't want to come with the program and it'd be a oh, we're gonna fix everybody, we're gonna help everybody, we're gonna do it ourselves. It's not, it's a join up with all the services that are out there, and we just want to be able to sign those where needed, support when needed, link up where needed, and and just to help them to kind of navigate through that that period with you as a teenager had the strength to build things yourself and get independent, but not everyone has it.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

So I think because you understand how hard it was for you, this made your purpose. And as you mentioned, you you open, you are opening your house, your life, your heart, someone becomes part of your tribe. Um what is the cost of that? How what does it cost you emotionally doing what you're doing? Because it not everyone can do it.

SPEAKER_03 21:14

No, uh that's one of the things that stuck out for us because people thought it was it was uh an amazing thing to do, and no, I couldn't do that. I can't understand how you you know how why are you doing it, how are you doing it. There was never any thought behind it for us, there was never any question.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

I don't think we ever saw it as a cost. No, it was it was just something that we wanted to do. Um and it was the right thing to do for us. And that's not for everyone. Some people get it and some people don't, but I think and I I get I get why, because you know, until you've been in the position, you know, in that position yourself, or you've seen your kids in that position, it's hard I get it's hard to get. But because we've been through that. We get it. And you know, as we said, is our kids being through it and then some of the friends and supporting that. Yeah. It was just it was just yeah, it was just the right thing to do.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

You mentioned that people can be blind about what is going on around them because it didn't happen to them. Uh it that they didn't experience it as you did. What do you wish people could see that they cannot? What should be what should others be mindful of others? Because they can there might be some struggles, but they don't see it because they they they don't have this on the radar, and not because they necessarily they're not they're not kind, but because they haven't thought of that yet.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

I think it's quite easy, Jonah. I don't want to kind of say anything that's kind, I don't want to put words in people's mouths, but but it's almost as if if it's if it's it's like anything, isn't it? If it's not happening to yourself, you don't necessarily see it. It's not it's not there, it's it's kind of almost it's filtered out.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

Yeah, yeah. I mean I'm just trying to so I I I've maybe I can give an example, it's not young adults, but so dementia's a big thing out there, isn't it? Dementia's an awful disease. Now, and we we've seen that, we've seen it is, and you hear it on the news, but I only really lived it when my dad got dementia, and so I was that person, it's yeah, it's awful, but until it actually happens and comes into your space, you don't really ever feel what that is, and it may be using that as an analogy. So Gina said, totally get people out there, you know, you just don't get it until you're in that environment.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

Yeah, and yeah, it's it's like with anything, isn't it? With it's with anything. You can you look and you see it and you think, oh gosh, that must be really hard to deal with. It must it must be awful to deal with. You you can't really feel it, you can't experience it until you are in that space. It's simple as that. And I'm not saying that we want people to come into that space and certain to experience it because that's not that's not the right thing. And you know, but I suppose just just just hear what's happening, I suppose, and just like you say, just be kind and uh um you know, uh words, words, looks, phrases, whatever can have a big impact on people, and and and if those things don't go away, the impact that it gets more and more and more. And I think it's just a case of just just for people to just realize that you know it's not always perfect for everybody, even though it it might look it. And and I I think there's a lot of messages out there anyway, like that already. You know, you don't know you don't know what's happening on the inside when things are showing on the outside.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

Absolutely, especially um we all have our internal worlds and we've got reality, and very often we don't know what happens inside of other persons because sometimes we don't have tools to translate our internal world. Come we are unable to communicate uh our needs, and I think that sometimes we can meet someone and we don't even know that someone struggles just because someone doesn't have tools to translate their struggles, because sometimes it's enough if we say if someone says I need help. And I think these are just so difficult words to say. Um I need support. So if someone listened to us and if someone says I struggle, I know someone who struggles, what would you advise? Is is there anything we can how we can support young people?

SPEAKER_03 25:47

I think it's just that that that reaching out. I think sometimes it's having the confidence and having the strength to say I need support. Um and then I suppose it's just knowing where to go. So I think this is what we're working at at the moment. This is what we're kind of doing at the moment. We're creating, we're going seeing people, we're creating relationships, and we're we're kind of getting out into the organizations that we have we've been directed to. So this is we are very, very early stages at the moment, and and what we want to do is we want to get those links in place. So we've had a we've had a lot of support so far, and we're so utterly grateful for that. But what else is out there? What else is available? And that's what we're kind of looking at at the moment and trying to build that kind of rich picture, I suppose, of of actually what this world looks like, you know, and it and it's it's only by us digging in and trying to get to get into you know, into meetings, into conversations that we're finding things that's out there. It's not always clear straight away where to go. It isn't always clear. One of the things when I did when I was when when I was um in my it was um gosh, I must have been in my early 20s, it was before ours, but I went on a Princess Trust 12-week program. It changed me, it absolutely changed me. It's even people in work have said that I came back a different person. That was a 12-week programme, that's all it was. But I think that's been a big thing for me around this, you know, and the impact that I know it had on my life at the time and actually how we can incorporate some of those things because it's not available to everybody. I was looking at it to some of my young people the other week, and and it's it's not available in their area. So it's like things like that, but we'd link up with things we we'd link up with with organizations like that, you know, as the King's Trust now as it is. So there's there's loads of things out there, but there's just not a front door, and I think that's the kind of the thing we're looking at is that kind of how can we be that conduit to help people find where they need and what they need at the time when they really need it.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

It's just taking them on a journey, they have to they have to come out the other end by doing it themselves, and that's I think the key to ours is that journey. And I think I said earlier, it might be just that little step that somebody needs. So one of one of the the people that we took in didn't have a job, didn't didn't have any sort of very, very low on confidence, but then with our support, she got a job that she wanted to do, yeah. And now she's got her own place, she's got her a boyfriend, and she's really settled. Um and you know that's she took a little step, yeah, and she got got on the the pro she got on the ladder to to to work, and now I think she's looking at maybe taking a step further and going getting some qualifications and better at herself again. You know, uh from our perspective is we gave her that jump up, but she's had to do she's had to do the rest herself, but she's done it when she felt it was right, but she just needed that bit of a help up onto the ladder, and that's what we're trying to do. You know, we're not saying we can you're gonna go from A to B and B, you know, it's it's sometimes it's baby steps for people, and others they'll embrace it and they may go, and that's fine as well, but I think there's no one size fits all, and that's the important thing, and that's what we kind of want to instill with people, forget about what other people doing, think about yourself and where you want to be and what you want to achieve.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Sometimes we don't know what we want and who we are, and as you mentioned, baby steps and reality check, because I think that especially young people, but I think we fall for this more and more as well. When you see Instagram, when we see TikTok, and people are you have to be someone, you have to be, you have to be successful, you need to be in certain places, do things. And I think when life happens, I'm not sure if uh if you agree with me, but I remember when I did something stupid, only few people knew about it, and now that constant pressure on the teenagers and on young people that actually, this is what I see in my phone, and actually my life doesn't fit. Um, maybe there's the that's the reason why people feel that even though we're surrounded by people, by by ideas, by things, but people feel more and more alienated. So, knowing that, what do you feel? What kind what piece of skill should every young per person have in order to be able to ask for little steps? Because sometimes they don't know they need them.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Yeah, I I think I don't think there's any one answer to that, to be honest. I I think people ask for help when they feel comfortable, they can ask for help. So, for example, us taking somebody into our house, we didn't immediately say, right, you should do this, this, and this. It was, you know, how can we support you? What what is it you need? And in time, you you've kind of drawn bonds as a you know, as and and to get to know you. And I think that's the important thing. It's not it wasn't coming to our house and we'll fix you, because it it was coming to our house because you need somewhere, because you've nowhere else to go. And the first thing right away is and just don't worry about when you have to go anywhere. You're here in a safe place, and you can stay here until you are where you need to be. And I think that's how how we because that's how we are, then when they that help to me, that helps people relax because they know that they're in a safe environment, and actually they're not gonna get put on the street in two weeks' time.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

I think I think it's and from there is yeah, I and I think people make their own, and look, some people will and some people won't. People some people want to be out, and some some people don't, and you know, you just have to kind of let them go on that journey until they're willing to open up to you. And then when they open up, is that's when you can you can take them steps with them, but it's certainly not something that were this is what you should do, and and for that's not what they want, that's not what they want. They have to make their own choices in life, but knowing that they've got the support around them to do that, and I think that's the the key thing at the very beginning. So for us, is you know, our whole program is built on four pillars, yeah, so a safe space for where they can be, that immediate support, yeah, and then that confidence and self-esteem that they haven't got, and then it's talking about things like their life skills and their independence, and then to bring into that then the community, so they feel the there's a belonging in the community, they feel that you know they're recognized, and I think there are there are four key pillars that that we're looking to to form part of the program, and as Gina said, there'll be a lot this of there's lots of stuff going on out there. People are working really, really hard. There's so much organizations, we're not there to replace things, we're there to bring things together and to see where them gaps are missing, and how can we work together as a community to help these young adults? Yeah, it's not all about us. You know, we can't do this on our own. We can run a program, yes, but we need the support of the other people around. I think Gina mentioned one of the guys we're working closely with, he supported uh one of our lads at a young age, you know, and he's seen the program, he he sees its vision, he's on board with it, and they're the type of people that we want because they're in that community, so we get it, and they probably get it even more than we do because they they're in it now, but doing it maybe not as a whole, but a part of what we're trying to do. And I think that's you speak to anybody uh who's in that community environment that we've done, it's they all get it because they're all trying to do something for the community, and that's that's what you need. That's that's what we need. We need that that kind of support as well to help us get this off the ground.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

Okay, so I think that's the way I understand it, we need to be part of community and we know that we can rely on each other and we can support each other by providing different set of skills to each other whenever we need. Um what kind of support do you need at the moment when you build your program? What kind of uh relationships, professional practical ones? Where are you based, by the way? So if someone wants to reach out, how what yes, what do you need at the moment to build that community based on on the on purpose?

SPEAKER_03 35:50

Yeah, um, so this is a massive help, obviously. Thank you so so much. And I think anybody, anybody for us that can kind of spread the word a little bit is is just absolutely invaluable because um we at the moment, so we're in Wigan, we live in Wigan. Wigan has challenges with, you know, certainly from a a a young person from the homelessness point of view, there are there are things that we're not the only place that has those challenges. At the moment, we are working with our local community organizations and volunteer organizations where we're kind of getting those links in place, aren't we? To to start to, like I say, to find out what those services are, find out what everybody's trying to do, where those pockets of of information are, and to to bring those into our world so that we can then signposts for sponsorship, communication, anything like that is absolutely invaluable. We are we we would love to take this wider, ultimately, we would love to take this wider eventually because it is such a valuable thing. It's not just it's just challenging one particular place in the world, you know, it's a challenge in a lot of different places, and there's a lot of young people out there that that really do need something. So from a community aspect, you know, it's easy to bring things into an online world, but actually you've you've got to be in the room, you know, you've got to be there, you've got to create that space as well, you know, as well.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Yeah, and I think I think one of the key things um to our team is is through the community, we we want to get around some young adults, and you know, we we've got program is set out, we we know we know what it is, we know the four pillars, but we also and I know people say everything else they don't know or they don't know, but for us is what would you what type of things would you want to see? What are missing what have you missed when you were having them challenges or you're having what is missing? What would you would you need more of? What do you need something of? And then we can build that into the program, or we can direct them to the right areas to get that help because you know there's already lots of things out there, and so I think that's key to us is is at the minute we're looking to get around some young adults as well, but that's through that's through our leads. So that's another thing if people can bring us around young adults. I think it's so important when you you have a link in somewhere because you know you can tell your story, but you know, we can't just go on the street and say to young adults, come and we want to have a chat with you, and this is what it, you know, this we want that we want that avenue into. So we've got some contacts that will at the minute within Wigan College that we're trying to get somewhere else from young else that way, but that's another thing the more we more we get around in the community, yeah. And it won't be read right for everyone, no, but their input is so so important.

SPEAKER_03 38:58

So what we we can only draw off our experience, and if our experience isn't the experienced of others, then it's not gonna it's not gonna hit. So we just we want to shape this, we want the community to shape it, we want the young people to shape it. So we're kind of looking at kind of the ages 18 to 25 because I think that's just the that link between how you how you are a child and an a child in the Lucy's term, you know, you know, teenagers now, they're you know, they're growing up so fast, you know. Um but from that kind of that age where you are from this to another service, it's just where's that gap? Well, how can we bridge it? What can we do?

SPEAKER_00 39:40

And I think you mentioned that you support uh that you would like to concentrate on 18 to 25, but also there's a stage in life when people when their children leave and they have a gap, they have to empty room, they have they missing, and maybe they start getting poorly. And sometimes young people have the need to support others because they feel emptiness. So I think there are so many different ways people can connect. And I think it's I think it's really what you do is really, really meaningful. And I would like to ask you about um what this work has done to you, not just to young people you support, but to you, because I think when you give someone this peak, this change you, and sometimes in the ways you you you don't expect. Um, what has this work revealed about each other that surprised you? And what does Paul see in Gina that Gina can see in herself, and what does Gina see in Paul that Paul can't uh see in himself?

SPEAKER_01 40:48

I think because it made me feel I don't think I truly knew how I really, really felt until probably November and I went on a I went on a a business retreat, but it was very much getting deep inside who you are and what you want in life. And I'll be honest, that that that changed me completely. I think when I talked about what I wanted to do, so I talked about two businesses. One business we're doing that, we're wanting to obviously we're doing because we want to be able to build that so we've got more time to do what our purpose in life is, you know, help young people believe they can be successful in life. And when I picked the two businesses, when they asked me why I was doing that business and started to tell them the story, that's when I knew I had to do it. Because I got emotional like this, and people really, really got it. And he said, Paul, this is what you've got to do, this is your purpose in life. Yeah, nothing else. This is what you've told us there. We can see the passion that's coming out in you, we can see it's in your heart. And I think then I think that was this is what we've got to do. You know, we've got to move forward with this. And I think that for me was yeah, was um the turning point, yeah, most definitely. And I I think I think Gina is she's a loving, caring person. We are yin and yang. Um, she's very creative, and not very creative. I think that's why we work so well together. Um has all them creative, caring things about her, will do anything for anyone, yeah. She puts people first before herself. Um, and that's a good trait to have. It's a really good trait to have.

SPEAKER_03 43:02

Ah dear, so yeah, and I think going going back a couple of years, I I lost my parents a couple of years ago separately, obviously, you you know, the um just just to happen to get ill at this pretty much the same time. But I I think because we've never been, we've because we've never been flashy people, we've we've done things and we've wanted to do stuff, but we've not known why. We've not had the why. And and you can say, you know, I people say to me that your why needs to make you cry. And it's like, yeah, okay, a nice this this doesn't make me cry. That doesn't, you know, these things don't make you cry. We've had a lovely big house. We've we've we've left it, we've felt nothing, you know what I mean? It was a house, it didn't mean anything, but it's and and and so after that, I kind of I was at the gym just going back in story. I was at the gym and I was doing some some thingy on the gym, and I just thought, I don't want to be here. Why am I doing this? What on earth am I doing this for? I don't like this exercise. I don't want to be here. I don't even know why I'm spending an hour of my night doing this when I could be doing something massively different. Do you know what I mean? So that was a big realization for me. And then I kind of started doing a lot of personal development stuff again, you know, because I'd I'd kind of come away from it. I started doing it again. And I started um on a whole kind of two-year journey that's just been massive. I've been in that journey, and Paul wasn't necessarily in that journey at the time with me. We were lucky enough to to get on a journey, which I know you're on yourselves as well, you know, with the um with a with a company that we're working with. And we went on an event together and and something clicked in Paul, which was just amazing because you know he is an amazing person. The thing is with Paul is Paul just it it there's no effort behind it. Paul just does it. If Paul wants to do something, he'll just do it. And I think that's potentially a sport thing. Do you know what I mean? If he needs to run 100 meters in a certain amount of seconds, he knows what he needs to do to get there and he'll do it. Whereas I'm like a I'm like a pinball, I'm all over the place, you know what's me. And I I kind of, yes, I have creative ideas, but they're they're all in the air, you know, and I have to kind of grasp them. I think that's the that's the way we work so well together is Paul kind of either pulls me down when I need to be pulled down, or takes what comes out of my mouth and builds it into something amazing, you know. So so this is why we work so so well. And yeah, I think the thing with Paul is when he came back from that retreat, it was like, wow, gosh, because we knew this was a thing, we knew this was something that we wanted to do eventually. We we had all of a sudden it's become the forefront of our mind, basically. And and I think, yeah, because um, you know, as you can see, Paul's got an absolutely massive heart, and he's got a lot of a lot of love and a lot of care to give. And he he shows it in a very different way to to me, you know, I'm a I'm a practical, I'll I'll solve problems, and and Paul will just just give wholeheartedly. So it just works. It just works, and we just we we just at the moment we're on like an edge and we're like we just we want it to work so badly because it it's we must give everything to this and we just want it to work.

SPEAKER_00 46:26

If we can if we can influence one person that can create a ripple, that's that's the absolute for us. That's enough. Thank you. Thank you very much for saying this. I would like to ask you about uh the voice because I think most of people uh who want to help has have the voice inside of them that says, Who am I to do this? What uh what skill do I have to give? I'm not qualified, I'm not enough. What did you have this voice? And uh if you did, what did it sound like? And if you did, how did you silence it? And how did uh how did you start doing the work anyway, despite having that nagging voice? I think um I agree.

SPEAKER_03 47:16

Yeah, it'd be different for both of us. Obviously, you know, we do get that voice. You can't you can't avoid it, you can't avoid that that thing to say, you know, but you say, Oh, you know, who are you? You've not been through that much. It's you know, it's not that bad, you know. What what makes you feel as though you can make a difference to somebody? And that I went on through this through this program that we're on, I went on something last year, and it and it the basically the the whole ethos ethos of it was you go through these things in life, you go through them in life to to experience something, to go through it, to get to get through it and to learn how to do that internally. If then you go through that and you don't then help others get through that, then what was the point? You know, there's no point to it. You may as well just not have you know not have happened. And sometimes people can can go through something and say, oh, you know, it's all happening to me, it's all about me, it's all about me. And actually, it isn't, it's about how that how you can turn that around. And I think that's the big thing for us is yeah, we've been through some rubbish, you know what I mean? We know our kids have been through some rubbish, their friends are going through some rubbish, and okay, we've not solved people's problems, but we can help them to understand how they can get through that themselves. But also, one of the one of the big things that we want with this, certainly one of the big things for me is I would like to the community that we forge in this in this whole kind of program, I would like them to keep those relationships and to bring some of those young people in to this world, to this purpose, if you like, to and and to to help them to develop to also give back, if that makes sense. So that's the that's a big thing for me. And I and I just think sometimes you've got to let that little voice go and think, no, this this is too important, you know, you need to shut up now. This is too important. I'm not listening. I'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna go with my heart, go with my butt, and and get it done.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

Yeah. We'll all have we all have moments in mind, but if you keep thinking back to what your purpose is in life, then that is a massive mass because it never wavers. When it's here and your purpose is here when it's bigger than myself, bigger than yourself, yeah, you'll you'll do anything. Yeah, I and I just as Gina said, you know, we've already we've already mapped out what our our our vision is in three years' time where where this business will be and as it as if it wasn't well. Um because that's that's where that's we that's where our vision is, that's that's that's what it's gonna do. Um it is having that lived experience, as Gina said, is people have been through the program to offer that for them to come back because you there's nothing better than lived experience. Somebody tell it telling it from there what they've been through is so so powerful. Couldn't me and Gina do what we're doing if we hadn't been through that journey? We could, but there's nothing we can tap into. Yeah. For a thing that is people relate when they hear your story and they know what journey you've been on through life. And you know, everybody has, you know, whether they everybody has difficulties throughout life, you know, is it's it's how you come out the other end with it.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

The thing with purpose is we a lot of difficult things ha need to happen to us so we can find this purpose. But and I think the biggest maybe difficulty and the same opportunity happens with transforming these experiences into something meaningful because when we're 20 and if when things happen to us, we can't see way out. But when we are 40, 50, when we look back, oh this is why it happened in our 40s, it's this is where we discover our purpose, not from our head, but when we start feeling it.

SPEAKER_03 51:36

Just just gauge it. Massive, massive thing for us is just to save space. And I and I think if um if you if you if somebody is out there and they're they're they're noticing that things are happening and they feel a little bit powerless and uh and a bit um or they're they're feeling, you know, like it's a powerless, or they're feeling like they they they shouldn't intervene, or they they to know this is a tough question that it's it's like you you almost don't want to encroach on somebody's world, but if if somebody's got children that that don't feel comfortable speaking from a parental point of view, sometimes it's handy having an auntie, uh a grandparent, you know, somebody that they can speak to. And I think the thing for us is be that person, be that safe space, that non-judgmental safe space. And then if there is support that's required, it it'll come out, it'll come out in conversations, and then it's not a case of seeing a problem and forcing yourself onto that problem or or you know, kind of I want to solve this, I want to help this. It's just a case of just being being that safe constant, I think.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

For me, it's if if somebody's doubting themselves whether they can go and support some well, for me it's well why not? We're all all equally as you know, we're all on this planet, you know, we're all equally as you know, as close as each other to do what we need to do. You know, why am I better than Gina's? What you know, why am I better than so, you know, I just think and and it is hard, but you know, sometimes you're just like, well, why are you not good? But you've got to have that kind of belief, haven't you? And that's what's sometimes missing. So for me is if such somebody needs to, is just reach out. You don't have to be an expert. Sometimes somebody just needs that shoulder to lean on. You don't have to have all the right answers. You know, we brought two kids up, you know.

SPEAKER_02 53:41

You don't get a bug for it.

SPEAKER_01 53:42

You don't get a bug for it, you have to go on a journey and you find solutions, you know. And sometimes they don't work at what you've got to be on that journey to come out the other side, but what you do think, I don't know what to do. You you've got you've got to just throw yourself into it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:02

Thank you. Um, there is someone listening to us right now and feels completely alone. They don't know if anyone sees them, they don't know where to turn, they are sitting somewhere right now wondering if it gets better. What do you say directly to that person? I mean, not advice, uh, just what you want them to feel. And there's a and there's a parent listening to uh to us who suspects that children, uh, a child's friend is not okay. They want to help, but they're afraid to to do anything in case they get it wrong. Uh, they don't want to overstep and make things worse. What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_03 54:50

So um they can they can they can reach us through. We're we're working at the moment to to kind of get online and get our presence out there. We've just been working on our website last night, haven't we? And and and putting that out there and and creating a place for, you know, I I think someone needs help, whatever. You know what I mean? So like it like you said, it's it's really hard to say because it's not a one-size-fits-all, it's just a case of, you know, we we can have a conversation, maybe. But if if somebody is feeling a little bit hopeless, a little bit like they're they're kind of in a situation that they can't see their way out of, um, for me, it's just have have the faith, have the belief that what you're going through isn't forever. And it and it's a case of just try and start to look at the little glimmers in in the day and um the little things that are going right, you know, concentrate on the good, be grateful for the good. Sometimes when you concentrate on things in the negative space, whatever you concentrate on grows, you know. So you concentrate on things in the negative space, you're almost allowing those things to happen, and therefore they you know, they they start to increase. Whereas if you kind of turn that around and actually start looking at, okay, so let's just have a little think about this now. What's actually going right? What's going right and what can I capitalize on? You know, what can I concentrate on? What can I build on? And it shifts, it shifts in your mind, you know, it turns the darkness to light again, and it and it's just a case of just trying to kind of do that. And it's not easy, it's not easy because everyone's very reactive of their situation, but just by I think just concentrating on a few little things, and and that's what we want to try and build up, you know. We don't want to concentrate on what's happened, what's gone wrong, what's what's not going right. We want to say, right, where are we going? Where are we moving forward? And how can we help and how can we do? And from from the point of view, as you said, if somebody does see something in somebody, just reach out. Either ask that, you know, are you okay? Is there any is there anything that you need? Is there anything I can help with? You know, don't ask the person, ask your children, is there anything? You know, I've noticed that such and such a person is just seemed a little bit down, a little bit, is there something going on? Can I help in any way? Can I be that support? You know, they might never even think of asking the parents because they don't know how old the parents are, you know, and that's the thing. It's you're having a family unit, but for us, our family unit is is is an extension. Like I said, anyone that comes into our family and said that's it, then you're in. You're in and you're taken care of, and we'll do everything we can. That's the way we are. There's a lot of people out there that are the same, but do people know of that? Do you wear it on your sleeve? Is that an absolute, or is it not maybe not quite clear? So I think sometimes it's just offering that help, offering that support will then open that door. And that's all you need is a is an open door.

SPEAKER_01 57:43

It is you're right. It's it's focusing on the good things. It's just well, you know, for me, my my my getaway was my my sport. You know, that was it's still this. It's my big if I'm stressed out, if I'm feeling not right, then I'm gonna go and go to the gym for an hour or I'm gonna go to the board or go on my back. Whatever it is, that's what that's what helps me, and it still does from being young through that is my kind of stress relief, my go-to to just clear my head and get back on track. And what I would say to people is just doesn't matter, everybody's got something that to put out. Find it, and that can be your your go-to. But think things happen, it's like you say, you go and you go and join a gym and it then all of a sudden you you get to know the people and then you start to build confidence, stuff. It it's just little things, you just don't know where they will go. You know, go to a very good and creative, you know, so you go creative works or whatever, it's finding that thing, but when you do it, then you just don't know where that's gonna lead and what connections you'll make with other people who may be on the same journey as you.

SPEAKER_02 59:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:07

Yeah. And and then you made that connection, it's like all of a sudden, I'm not on my own, you know, I can relate. And it's just it's just them little things. And it's easier us talking about it, it's easy, but it's they're the little steps we want people to try and make. That's that's where we're trying to get at.

SPEAKER_00 59:30

Find that common ground.

SPEAKER_01 59:31

Find that common ground, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:33

Yes, it always starts with uh with a one small step, sometimes smile, sometimes just looking at someone. Um I've got one last question, and I would like you to both answer it. I want you to think of one young person, someone whose life has touched yours through work you're doing. I would like you to hold them in your mind right now, and I want you to think not about what you gave them, but about what they gave you. What do you want to say to that person today?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:09

Thank you for trusting us.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:11

Yeah, thank you. It takes a lot to trust somebody, it takes a lot to put um your situation almost in their hands and in their space. So to have um to have that trust in us means the world.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:30

Yeah, I think it is that trust, but it's thank you for reaching out and having the courage to reach out and ask for that support because that's the key. Yeah, we can be there, yeah. We can be there for you, but we there's got to be that step on their side. So, you know, thank you for trusting us there, and we we will support you all the way.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:57

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:58

Thank you for this. Um anyone watching this, anything that you feel anything that you you want to uh share, anything that you want to reach out to us, this is this is creating for us another community of individuals that since going on stage have been overwhelmed by the support that we've had. Um actually you're not, and and I go back to the ripple. If we can if we can inspire other people to do something um similar, to to to work with us, to work alongside us, to to to to shape this, you know, then yeah, just just just say hi. Give us a way, give us a smile and and and give us that support because that'll keep us going, for sure. And it'll and it'll help these two grounds, which is ultimately you know what would you like to add?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:02

What would I like to add?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:04

I think Ross as a couple is I think you said earlier, is we want as many people to come on this journey with us as we can. We can't do it on our own. We can't, you know, with I think um it's gonna be our programme, it's gonna be you know, us priming everything. But it's not just about us. It's about the people supporting around us, the community, the people who are willing to be helped. And and that's the key for me is this is our purpose, this is why we're doing it, but it's not about us, it's about every person we can help. Yeah, just take a tiny step, even and that that's that's that's the importance. People can just trust, trust us, Gina said, is such a good thing. Just open out to us. Anything little, big, whatever size it is, just reach out and ask a question. No question is a silly question. We we want uh people to know about what we're trying to do. Can't say thank you enough is is to to how much this will will help us moving forward because you know we can it can be shared and people can see what we're truly trying to do. And the more people that hear about it, the more we it will grow, the quicker it will grow, and that's the most important thing for us is we don't want to be in this situation, we want to have a pilot in operation at the the end of this year. That is our goal. A year or two years is is too too long for me. If it took that long, we need something now, but we have to get that word out as people understand our journey and what we're trying to achieve.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

Uh Gina and Paul, thank you very, very much. Um thank you for for Open Door, the one you keeps every single day for people who need it. And I would like to thank you, thank you very much for uh for you open today for this conversation and for for your trust uh and for all the people who are going to hear it and feel something shift. Um this will reach out to someone who needs it, and I'm certain of this. Thank you very, very much.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:28

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:29

Most people, past the young person sitting alone. Ina and Paul opened the door. Not because it's easy, not because anyone asked them to, not because they had everything figured out before they started, but because they remember what it feels like to need someone to open that door for them. And they decided that if they could be that person for someone else, they would be. That is not extraordinary in the way we usually mean it. It is not a charity campaign, it's not a story that ends with an award. It is a choice made quietly every single day. That is a legacy. Take care of your story. This is the most important one you'll ever tell.