Pastoral Care in the Middle East — A Conversation with Gavin Taylor

In this episode of The Common Room, Joshua sits down with Gavin Taylor — Assistant Head of High School Pastoral at Emirates International School Jumeirah in Dubai, where he leads student wellbeing, behaviour, student leadership and the broader student experience across the secondary school. With over 16 years in education and eight years living and working in the Middle East, Gavin brings a rare combination of pastoral expertise and genuine lived experience of international life.

Together, they explore what it actually means to build a school community where every student feels they belong — and why that question looks very different when your classroom contains 30 nationalities, multiple faiths, and families who have rebuilt their lives thousands of miles from home.

In this conversation, we cover:

• Why the core principles of pastoral care stay the same — but almost everything else changes
• The biggest mistake new staff make when arriving in the Middle East
• How to build genuine trust with parents from vastly different cultural backgrounds
• The "customers not students" mindset shift that changed how Gavin approaches his work
• What living in the UAE taught him about pastoral care that no training ever could
• Why positive communication matters more than any system or policy
• What it really means to create a school where students feel they belong

Whether you're a teacher considering a move to the Middle East, a pastoral leader looking to sharpen your practice, or a school leader thinking about student experience and culture, this episode is full of honest, practical insight from someone who has genuinely built something worth belonging to.

A huge thank you to Gavin for his time, his warmth, and his reminder that if years after leaving school a student can say — that school believed in me — then you've done a good job.

The Common Room is hosted by Joshua Sussex — Deputy Head of Secondary and EdD candidate: researching leadership in international schools.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

International education. The classrooms, the staff rooms, the lives built far from home. This is the Common Room. I'm Joshua Sussex. Let's talk.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Welcome to episode 5 of the Common Room. My guest today is Gavin Taylor, Assistant Head of High School Pastoral at Emirates International School in Dubai, where he leads student well-being, behavior, and student leadership across the secondary school. With over 16 years in education across the UK, China, and the Middle East, Gavin has made it his mission to build school cultures where every student feels known, valued, and like they genuinely belong. Today we're asking, what does that actually look like in practice? And how do you build it in one of the most culturally diverse school environments in the world? From your perspective and your experiences, how does pastoral care in a Middle Eastern international school actually differ from the model most educators are trained on?

SPEAKER_02 1:04

In one classroom, you might have 20 or 30 different nationalities, multiple faiths, families from different cultural expectations and different upbringings. There isn't really one pastoral model that works for everyone. So certainly in the Middle East, that diversity is a unique experience as a teacher or as a leader. The core principles of pastoral care remain the same. Every child wants to feel safe, respected, valued, and like where they belong, listened to and respected. But what changes the most in the UAE is how you build those relationships and communicate with those families and students. Effective teacher-student relationships are always important, but I would say certainly in the Middle East, this is absolutely paramount, both with the student but also their families as well. In the UK, sometimes we assume everyone shares that same understanding of behaviour, independence, or well-being. You know, if you take a school in the UK, the catchment era is going to be within 20, 30 miles of that school as a maximum. In international schools, you might have students that have travelled thousands and thousands of miles to live in the Middle East as an expatriate city. And obviously, with that becomes a variety of different cultures and beliefs. Rather than assuming we need to listen first, we need to understand the family's perspective and then work together with them on what's best for their child. It can be a fine balance between the school's policies and expectations and processes and protocols, as well as trying to understand a rationale behind why a student feels the way that they feel, or reason as to why they have an opinion on certain things and trying to dig a little bit deeper of why that is. I've worked in both British and IB curriculum. Of course, the curriculum changes and there's different varieties of delivery, but good pastoral care is the same. Pastoral care isn't just about behaviour management or responding to negative things, it's about intentionally design and a positive student experience. I've really emphasised a bit of time over the last three or four years on that phrase student experience. Things like strong house system, meaningful assembly, student leadership, extracurricular activities, international trips, local trips, giving students opportunities outside the classroom. That's vital. And when it comes to building that foundation for strong pastoral care, I think living in the Middle East gives you a real opportunity to do that. These experiences they do really create a sense of belonging. When students generally feel connected to their school and community, their attendance improves, their behaviour improves, their well-being improves, and of course the academic success often follows.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Would you say are the biggest challenges you face in the Middle East of trying to convey that message that you've just shared with the parents to ensure buy-in?

SPEAKER_02 3:36

I would say language is a big one. British expats take that for granted a little bit, where we assume everybody speaks English or that they can understand what we're saying. I've seen there's certainly an influx over the last two, three years of Chat GPT style email responses from parents. And sometimes they can be misunderstood from either the communication that you're sending to them from an email perspective as well as their responses. Um I think that relationship burden is paramount. Jumping on a call, which might take five minutes, ten minutes of your day, is going to come back to you tenfold in terms of that respect and relationship that you build. I've had some very challenging meetings with parents, as you can understand some of the things I have to deal with, but actually, nine times out of ten, I would say, even if those those meetings aren't positive, they start to build that real positive meaning and belonging with the parents. Ultimately, parents, certainly in the Middle East, but across the world, they just want to know that you care about their child and they want to know that you know who their child is. Even if I'm delivering something to you that isn't a positive outcome or response, you know that I'm doing it for the positive reason or the right reason because I care about your son or daughter. I think that goes a long way. And certainly, with that transient nature of international teaching, teachers do come and go quite regularly. That happens in the Middle East as well as other countries in the world. So I think there's also that potential of parents. How much do you actually care? Are you here because you care, or are you are you going to leave after a year or two years? And of course, teachers have every right to move on, but I feel like that's a un under undersold this idea of no, I really am here for your son or daughter, and however long I am here, I will do everything in my power to support you and what's best for your son or daughter.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

What's the the one thing news staff arriving in the region consistently get wrong about pastoral care before they've had time to adjust?

SPEAKER_02 5:34

I think the biggest mistake that news staff make, and and from a reflective practitioner perspective, I'd certainly say I put myself in this category as well. When I first moved to the UE, is they're assuming that they're teaching in a British school that's just based overseas. And they're not, you know, it's very much a truly international community where students, parents, and colleagues all bring different cultures, faiths, values, expectations into the school every day. And one thing we've not mentioned so far is colleagues as well. Often you have 30 or 40 different cultures of teachers who have been trained differently, who have been trained with a different philosophy, who may have a different focus of priority, as well as 30, 40, 50 different cultures of students and parents. So sometimes new staff arrive with the mindset of this is how we did it before, this is how it worked in the UK or Ireland or wherever, this should work here. And in reality, yeah, the principles of great pastoral care doesn't change, but the way you build those relationships and communicate them and the way that you lead to success absolutely does. You have to take time to understand the community that you're in. Even in three different schools that have worked in the UE, they've all been very different in terms of the community that you serve in. Some families expect a very close partnership with the school, some don't. Some feel that school's role is completely different. Some students they might have lived in five different countries before they've even joined the school, whereas others may have grown up in the UAE their whole lives. Um you can't assume everyone shares the same perspective or life experiences that we're expecting them to have, like we would have done in the UK. And the UAE specifically is built on an expat model. This brings loads of positives, but the challenges are that people have different views and beliefs, religions on how things should be handled and dealt with. Learning your school's policies and protocols can can really help with that. It gives you a bit of a tool to not argue for, but say, Well, I appreciate that and respect that. But as a school, this is what we're focusing on. I'm a big Ted Lasso fan, so I'm sure a lot of people are out there, but I think one of the big phrases of him is be curious, not judgmental, is a great piece of advice for any new staff member joining the UAE. Um, ask questions, observe, learn from colleagues. Um, the best new teachers don't arrive with all the answers, they arrive with all the questions, be a piece of advice there.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

You you talk about trust with families and staff as well. How do you proactively think in your role and act and behave to build genuine trust from all stakeholders involved?

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Treating the parents as partners in success is vital. Um, I often talk a lot about the pastoral care triangle, parents, teachers in the school community with this with the student in the centre of that triangle. And without that link with the parents, and obviously that triangle is not complete and it breaks down. Um the bottom line is no one knows the child better than their parents or their family or their guardians. Um, and the schools also often see a child in a completely different environment, and sometimes that can lead to completely different behaviours. I've had conversations with parents where angels at home and not quite so much in the school, and sometimes the same. Sometimes you'll have communications with parents and they'll go, Oh, they don't they don't behave like this at home, and you go, Well, no, they're credit to you and your family beliefs in school. You know, having that partnership and success with them is vital. And trust isn't built just because you you solve every problem perfectly, either. It's built because parents know you'll always be honest with them. Whether that's telling them something that they don't necessarily want to hear that isn't always positive, even when the conversation is difficult, parents will often respect you and accept that that challenging message if they know that the relationship we're trying to build with them and their student is built from trust and care. I think that the answer to that really is communication is absolutely key. I'd rather have 10 small communications throughout the year than one difficult communication at the end of the year where that parent is challenging the outcome or something without where was the communication with me? Because ultimately we could have resolved this issue weeks before, months before. So um often in pastoral care we talk a lot about communication, and and often we talk about negative communication. Oh, we need to call home if they've been naughty. Well, actually, those positive phone calls, emails, or just a quick just to let you know, Josh has been brilliant today, he did this today. That is, yes, it's great for the student to be told that and reinforced positive outcomes, but that goes a long way to build trust as well with parents. They feel like you actually are looking at my son or daughter and you you care about how they're doing, both from an outcomes and accountability perspective, but also from a positive concern perspective. You know, I can't emphasize enough really the effort you put in to build those relationships with parents, you will get back in return tenfold, absolutely 100%.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Is there a moment that changed how you personally approach pastoral care in the Middle East?

SPEAKER_02 10:09

I remember when I when I first moved, it was a second principal I'd worked with, uh, who I had massive respect for and still really, really good friends with. And I remember him sitting down with us all and saying they're not students and parents, they're customers. And let that sink in a little bit, that they're customers. And that was a phrase I'd not heard before coming from the UK. We're not used to that mindset as educators, offering that customer-based service model. And a lot of staff, including myself at the start, struggled with that and turned that into a kind of a negative mindset. It doesn't have to be a negative at all. And I'll often use that as a positive in conversations with both parents and teachers. We have a standard that we need to meet, a service that we need to provide, a target that we need to achieve. Um, and those high standards are driven by our customers or parents, or you know, just the same as the retail sector, for example.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

How is that living in the region, not just teaching there, shape the way you practice pastoral care?

SPEAKER_02 11:08

When you first arrive, now I I moved to the Middle East as a as a single man. So when you first arrive, you're just like that student on the first day of school. You're nervous, you're worried, you're thinking, Am I going to make friends, or is there people around that's gonna have the same interests as me? And you know, I'm what if I miss my family, or what if obviously they're anxious questions and they're anxious moments, but actually what it helps you do is it helps you understand every year that students have those same questions and concerns, and living in the UAE was a very transient city, so there isn't that natural transition from year six to seven. They're always going to be nervous for the first day, it's their first day in big goal, etc. etc. But actually, you'd be surprised how many students and teachers have that feeling on the first day of school in any year group. You know, one of the things I enjoy about being a senior leader now is two weeks' time I'll be at the airport meeting our new teachers as they come off the plane, and remembering how I felt that feeling was, and and that first time you go into your apartment and you're thinking, Wow, and where do I live and where where's the nearest shop? And those those types of experiences that you then you want to help others go through that that that that you went through. You know, as you mentioned, uh this is my tenth year international teaching, this is my eighth year in the UAE. I've built a life here now, I've made friends, I've settled in the community, I understand the culture. Uh, and of course, when you're relatively living away from home, you begin to see things very differently. Being in a such a transient city with a variety of different religions and cultures, it's great to understand why some of these families or cultures behave the way that they do, even if that's not something that you necessarily want to practice yourself. You know, obviously the UAE is a is an Islamic Muslim country, and when you look at some of the values that religion carries or follows, you know, you have to respect it because it's a professional thing to do, but actually, from a personal perspective, you look and you go, that's actually really nice. You know, the five pillars of Islam, if you actually look at them, uh they're positive, they're they're meant to be there to you know to give charity, to give those that are in need, and to spend time doing you know iftars and zahors with family and building those connections of so I think it's kind of opened my eyes a little bit to the to the world and fortunate enough to live abroad and be able to travel quite a lot. And then you take the best bits, the bits that you believe in, and you go, I like that bit, I don't I don't quite like that bit, but I like this and I like that, and and then that helps you shape yourself if you move to the Middle East or anywhere else in the in the world. It's be open-minded, get get get involved in as much as as you can from a local perspective and and learn and listen to people, and then take the bits that you think you values you the most. And I think that certainly helped me from a personal perspective, it certainly helped me with my pastor experience, speaking to families and understanding where they're coming from. I might not be a practising Muslim, but I understand, I get I get what you mean by that, because I've seen that in action.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

I think from what you're saying is you've kind of really actively immersed yourself in the local culture and religion, and then that's benefited your understanding, which has then subsequently benefited you professionally. Absolutely. Brilliant. For an educator considering specialising in pastoral care in Dubai, what would you want them to know before they committed?

SPEAKER_02 14:29

Don't arrive believing you've got all the answers because you've been successful somewhere else. Um, and I think that's good advice for anyone. And again, I look at my own experiences and and and think I probably made that mistake myself. I was in the UAE for four years, really enjoyed it, had an opportunity to move to China. I moved during COVID, so it was a bit of a challenging time, but I went over there, I wouldn't say arrogantly, but maybe overly confident, by thinking, okay, I enjoyed my experiences in the UAE, I'm going to be okay, and actually having a bit of a shock because the culture's completely different and the the food is different and the language is different, and the the things that you know, but actually when you live it and breathe it, unless you actually go, I need to just see how the first few weeks go and lean on other people, that can become difficult. And I think if I had my time again, and I would probably do that a little bit a little bit more. So that would be a good piece of advice. International schools are incredibly diverse, every community, school, and country is different. So spend your first few months just listening. Learn from your colleagues, learn from your students, and learn from your parents. I think the more you understand the community you're in, and so talking more from a school perspective, but also the region, the better your decisions are, both from a personal perspective and also the pastoral outcomes that you want to go through. I suppose my final piece of advice there would be that as senior leaders, of course, data has it has a place, and we can often use data to drive success and drive change, drive impact. Of course, we can, and we should do that. But sometimes getting some qualitative data and qualitative feedback and opinions from parents is vital too, and that can often show success. You know, if you've created a culture where students feel safe, valued, challenged, and connected, then you've built the foundation of something that can then be built upon, and that can lead to high quality teachers and learning, more academic outcomes. You know, great pastoral care is about having isn't about having the best systems, it's about creating a school where every child feels like they belong.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

So the the final question I want to I want to ask you is hypothetically, you're leaving this job in August and someone's coming in to replace you. What would be your advice to that person to be successful in your role as a pastoral leader in Dubai?

SPEAKER_02 16:38

First off, you're in a privileged position because you're being asked to look after the students. And I think a lot of teachers that I know of, aspiring leaders, often will say to me, I really want to step up the ladder, but I don't want to lose that connection with the students. Often as you progress into leadership, whether that's military or senior, it often leads to less interaction with students. But I think as a pastoral leader, you still get best of both. So I think you're in a privileged position. Um, so don't take that for granted. We don't just support students when they're struggling, we have the opportunity to create an environment that they can thrive upon. And I think that's one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about pastoral care and student experience. Um, when all these things come together, you really can create powerful powerful things. You know, students don't just attend school to be in classes, they feel like they belong there, they feel like it's one of the most protective factors. I want to go to school because I feel like this is my home and this is fit where I belong. And we talked a bit earlier about that feeling of coming off the plane, whether you're a teacher for the first time or a student for the first time, it's exactly the same. And your opportunity as a pastoral leader is to create that sense of home, that sense of belonging, that sense of community. And I think that that needs to be something that you constantly remember and not forget. If you were coming into that opportunity, relationship building is absolutely paramount, both with students, family, and relationships with teachers as well. The variations of their backgrounds and their thoughts, of course, they matter, but ultimately they don't matter if you are there for the same reason that the parents want you to be there for, which is to enjoy the positives and successes together. As SLT in my school, we run school tours for prospective parents. One of my favourite parts of the tour that we run is um we've got a big poster of where all of the students have gone after they leave Formex and the different countries that they go to. And I'm always looking at that and go, it's incredible that some of those students have been there since pre-K and they've stayed with the school all the way through to the end, and they've now gone to Japan or Korea or the USA or the UK, and knowing that you were a part of that student's journey, small or big, it it's the most rewarding feeling you can imagine. And certainly from a pastoral perspective, and I I talk a lot about from a personal philosophy of that student experience, they're gonna remember that trip that you took them on, or that rewards trip that you you created an opportunity for them, or that student losing experience when they became head boy or head girl or they ran a project, whatever it may be. And even though sometimes you might not be the person that does it with them, as a pastoral leader, if you're the person that's organized it, created a link with an external provider or another school or another person, you're a part of that, even if they might not quite see it. A final part in quote for you is if years after they've left the school, a student can say, that school believed in me, I belonged there, and it helped shape who I became, then you've done a good job.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

I think that's a perfect way to finish. So thank you very much, Kevin, for your time. Really excellent insight and uh interesting to hear about pastoral care in Dubai. Thanks so much, Josh.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

Thanks for having me. It was a pleasure speaking to you. Thank you very much.