Most mental health podcasts speak at you - offering clinical frameworks from a distance. This show speaks from experience. Katrin Aslani is a registered psychotherapist who spent 16 years inside the corporate pressure cooker before becoming the person who helps others survive it. She doesn’t just understand burnout, ADHD, and chronic stress academically - she navigated them personally, then trained to treat them professionally. Using integrative, somatic, and mind-body approaches, this podcast bridges the gap between what therapy teaches and what real working life demands - practical nervous system tools for Ottawa residents and professionals who are tired of being told to “just breath”
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Getting diagnosed with adult ADHD can feel like someone finally hands you the missing context for your entire life, but it can also bring a wave of grief for all the years you spent blaming yourself. We sit with that messy mix of relief and loss, and we talk honestly about the question we hear most: “Okay, so I have ADHD. Now what?” If you are newly diagnosed, considering an ADHD assessment, or supporting a partner, child, friend, or coworker, this conversation gives you a clearer next step than pure motivation or willpower.
We break down what adult ADHD actually is, why it so often goes undetected in women, and how masking can lead to years of being treated for anxiety, depression, burnout, PMDD, or hormone-related symptoms before anyone connects the dots. We also talk about perimenopause and why long-standing coping systems can suddenly stop working, leaving people feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Along the way, we clarify the differences between a psychiatrist, psychologist, and psychotherapist, so you know who can diagnose, who can prescribe, and who typically supports longer-term therapy.
Then we get practical. Medication can improve focus and executive functioning, but it does not teach skills, heal trauma, regulate a nervous system that is on fire, or create healthy boundaries. That is why we lean into nervous system regulation and somatic therapy, including “dashboard warning lights” and a simple body check-in you can start right away. We also share ADHD-friendly strategies like body doubling, habit stacking, movement before focus tasks, and the five-minute rule to break the paralysis of getting started.
If you take one thing from this, let it be this: ADHD is not a character flaw, and your goal is not to become neurotypical, it is to understand yourself well enough to thrive. Subscribe for more conversations like this, share the episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find support.
Medication can improve focus, reduce impulsivity, but medication doesn't teach skills. It doesn't heal trauma. It doesn't create boundaries. It doesn't improve self-worth. Medication can be part of the solution, but rarely the entire solution. Welcome back to the Clear Path Podcast. I'm Katrine, registered psychotherapist, clinic owner of Clear Path Psychotherapy, located in Stittsville, Maine. I'm an executive coach, former banking professional, ADHD woman, and burnout survivor, and someone who spent nearly four decades wondering why life seemed harder for me than it looked for everyone else. Today we're talking about something that has exploded in conversations over the last few years. Take a guess. Did it sound something like ADHD? Specifically, adult ADHD. And even more specifically, what happens after the diagnosis? Because here's what I hear all the time from my clients. Okay, so I have ADHD. Now what? Do I take medications? Do I tell people? Do I need therapy? Have I been misdiagnosed my whole life? Am I lazy? Am I broken? Why did nobody catch this earlier? And perhaps the biggest question of all, what could my life have looked like if I had known sooner? If you've recently been diagnosed, if you're wondering whether you should get assessed, or if you're listening because your partner, child, friend, or coworker has ADHD, this episode is for you. Because today we're going to talk about what ADHD actually is, what it looks like in men versus women, why so many people are only discovering it in adulthood, what treatment really looks like, and why at Clearpath we don't see ADHD as a life sentence. We see it as a powerful brain that simply hasn't been given the right instruction manual yet.
Have you ever watched one of those movies where there's a huge plot twist near the end? And then suddenly every weird thing that happened earlier starts making sense. Well, that's what ADHD diagnosis feels like for many adults. You start replaying your entire life, the rapport cards, the forgotten deadlines, the emotional overwhelm. Oh, and the procrastination and perfectionism. The constant feeling that everyone else got a handbook for life that somehow skipped you altogether. Then someone says, You have ADHD, and suddenly your whole history looks different. Not because you've changed, but because now you finally have context. And context changes everything. When I discovered I had ADHD, it wasn't relief right away. It was actually grief. Relief and grief at the same time. Relief because I finally had an answer. Grief because I realized how many years I spent criticizing myself for symptoms I didn't understand. I wasn't lazy. I wasn't irresponsible. I wasn't lacking motivation. I wasn't failing. My brain simply worked differently. And once I understood that, everything changed.
Let's talk about the elephant in the room. Women. Historically, ADHD research focused primarily on young boys. The kid bouncing off walls, interrupting class, climbing furniture. Oh, I know you know that kid. Getting detention? Well, girls? Girls often look very different. Girls internalized. Girls masked. Girls daydreamed. Girls worried. Girls overcompensated. Girls became perfectionists. They became people pleasers. The ones that are always anxious and the ones that are always feeling exhausted. Many women are diagnosed with anxiety, depression, burnout, PMDD, hormone dysregulation before anyone ever asks, could this actually be ADHD related? And then perimenopause shows up and suddenly all the systems you've used your entire life just all of the sudden stop working. Your brain fog, fatigue, forgetfulness, oh, and the emotional roller coaster. Does that sound familiar? We'll keep listening. Many women don't discover ADHD until their 40s or 50s, not because it suddenly appeared, but because their ability to compensate finally ran out. Here's a simple way to think about it. Men often externalize ADHD. Women often internalize ADHD. Men may appear impulsive, hyperactive, restless, more risk averse. Women, on the other hand, are more overwhelmed. They're the anxious type, the perfectionist, the emotionally exhausted one, the chronically stressed. The symptoms are different. The struggle is often the same. Okay, grab a notebook and ask yourself, what am I constantly criticizing myself for? Being late, being overwhelmed, forgetting things, starting projects, and not finishing. Difficulty regulating emotions. Now ask yourself, what if this isn't a character flaw? What if it's a symptom? That question alone can change your life.
Is it worth getting assessed? The short answer for many people, yes. Not because the diagnosis fixes everything, but because it provides more clarity and it provides more options. A diagnosis can provide validation, self-understanding, access to accommodations, treatment options, a reduced feeling of shame, and perhaps most importantly, permission to stop fighting yourself. You can't build effective strategies for a brain that you don't actually even understand. But this short answer may not always apply to everyone. When I get asked this question, I often refer it back to the client. What would you like to achieve out of a diagnosis? Often they will look at me and say, Well, so that I have clarity? I mean, isn't that why we all go and get checked? Or isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing? The first question about clarity is that when you get diagnosed through a psychologist, it may take a while to be first seen, as there are usually pretty long wait lists to even get one. Secondly, I think it should be noted that age plays a huge factor in here. A client who is still in school and would benefit from getting accommodations, to me, that is a clear path and will be beneficial. However, a client in their 40s and over may or may not benefit from accommodations at work. However, it should also be noted that a number of family doctors don't even feel comfortable with providing a prescription for ADHD meds or provide a formal diagnosis. However, sometimes there are other ways around that, and we can discuss that in another episode. What you will expect from getting assessed is validation that you do or you do not have ADHD or other mental health indicators. Furthermore, the report will usually provide some guidance on what areas and type of ADHD you may or may not have. The report will more than likely recommend seeking psychotherapy treatment. And this is where our clinic, my clinic here at ClearPath Psychotherapy, would then come in. Okay, so let's talk about the number one question I always get asked. What is the difference between a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and a psychotherapist? Okay, in short, a psychiatrist is an MD, which means they can prescribe meds and diagnose. There is a huge shortage of psychiatrists in Ottawa, and the wait list is extensive, unfortunately. In my experience, you may only see a psychiatrist once, maybe twice if you're lucky, at which point they will determine what medications may be necessary, and then they will send you back to your family doctor for continued follow-up. A psychologist is a PhD and is able to diagnose and provide extensive reporting on what type or what they deem to be your diagnosis, and some may or may not do some psychotherapy. Last but not least, a psychotherapist is a master's in psychology graduate that takes diagnosed and undiagnosed clients and then will provide a variety of different therapy modalities, like CBT or DBT. They are essentially the ones you will see for more treatments as they will be the one to support you in navigating the quote unquote how to cope and navigate with whatever mental health struggles you may have. I hope that this clarifies this myth bastard for you because I get asked this all the time. Let's
talk about medication. Okay, some people love it, some people fear it, most people are confused by it. I know I was. Many of my clients are too. Medication can be incredibly helpful, but medication isn't a magic wand. Medication can improve focus, reduce impulsivity, improve executive functioning, but medication doesn't teach skills. It doesn't heal trauma, it doesn't regulate your nervous system, which is on fire. It doesn't create boundaries, it doesn't improve self-worth. Medication can be part of the solution, but rarely the entire solution. Many clients arrive at our clinic feeling defeated. They've been prescribed medication after medication, symptom after symptom, and the onslaught of many different types of diagnoses. But nobody has helped them understand the why. Why their body is exhausted, why their nervous system is activated, why they are struggling. Our healthcare system is overloaded. Providers are doing their best, but many are surviving inside a system that wasn't built for deep healing. People need more than symptom management. They need understanding, they need collaboration, they need someone willing to look beneath the surface. That's where our philosophy differs. For example, I have a female client who comes in for depression or major anxiety, especially those in their late 30s and 40s saying they are burnt out and had to go on antidepressants or anxiety meds. Oftentimes, it has been my experience that a lot of these types of symptoms are just that. They are comorbid symptoms. In other words, they are the after-effects symptoms of something likely much more deeply rooted. Sometimes it could be that it's actually ADHD, or perhaps they are in perimenopause and have lower progesterone levels, so more hormonal. As a psychotherapist, we are not allowed to diagnose. However, we can try to open possibilities for you and get you to work with your physician on some other avenues. In the case of possible ADHD, we can treat you by helping you recognize your patterns that they could align with someone that has ADHD. In other words, whether you were diagnosed with it or there is a suspicion of it, we can treat on the basis of those symptoms. We could treat the dysregulation, the confidence issues, the ruminating thoughts, the nonstop negative thinking.
One of the most important things I teach clients is this your body usually knows you're struggling before your brain even catches on. Think about that. Long before panic attacks, long before burnout, long before breakdowns, your body starts whispering. Tension, fatigue, pain, digestive issues, insomnia, brain fog. Sound familiar? I call these dashboard warning lights. Most of us ignore them until the engine catches fire. Think of it like the example of catching a ball. Imagine I were to throw a ball at you. Your first instinct is to either duck or swerve to the side, then nanoseconds later, your brain actually catches up and realizes, oh, there is danger coming. So in this example, your body is actually the one that's actually the first line of defense here, not your cognition. In other words, your body will always sense danger first, well before. And so it will send out an SOS alarm. But most of us don't correlate that tense shoulder that you have, for example, as your body is trying to tell you in the moment that you need to slow down or that something is weighing on you cognitively. Or for instance, you may feel nause or butterflies in your tummy, and that can actually indicate that something that is currently happening to you is making you feel anxious. So many of us don't actually cue into these body alarm signals and just push them aside and keep going about our day. However, just because you push it away once, twice, or three times, it doesn't mean that you have resolved it. You have only created a stronger hold for it to compress and then ignite more forcefully later, usually in the most inopportune times. So let me give you some tools. So the first tool that we're gonna talk about is the body check-in. Three times this week, ask yourself what is my body trying to tell me right now? Let's do it right now. Not my thoughts, my actual body. Where am I tense? Where am I exhausted? What feels heavy? What feels calm? Your body often provides information, your mind hasn't caught up yet. At ClearPath, we use a lot of somatic approaches because ADHD isn't just a thinking issue, it's a nervous system issue. Most therapy focuses on thoughts. Somatic therapy includes the body. Think of your mind and body as two coworkers. For years, they've been emailing each other in different languages. Well, of course, no wonder communication breaks down. Somatic therapy helps them to start speaking the same language again. The body and the mind become partners instead of adversaries. So now I'm going to teach you a new tool that maybe you wouldn't have been introduced to before. It's called the body check-in. So for those of you who are panicking right now, don't worry. I have actually added it to the comment section and the website for you to find. So three times this week, ask yourself, what is my body actually trying to tell me right now? As in right this moment. Not my thoughts, my body. Where am I feeling tension? Where am I feeling exhaustion? What feels heavy? What feels calm? Your body often provides information your mind hasn't even caught up yet. At Clear Path, we use a lot of somatic approaches because ADHD isn't just a thinking issue, it's a nervous system issue. Most therapy focuses on thoughts. Somatic therapy, however, includes the body in the journey. Think of your mind and body as two coworkers. So for years, they've been emailing each other in very different languages. So of course, no wonder communication will break down. Somatic therapy, however, helps them start speaking the same language again. The body and the mind become partners instead of adversaries.
Now let's talk about practical strategies because ADHD doesn't respond well to, well, you know, you should just try harder, think more positive. If trying harder worked, you would have fixed this years ago. Instead, we work with the brain, not against it. For example, body doubling, habit stacking, movement before focus tasks, visual reminders, external accountability, reward systems that really work. Nervous system regulation, compassion, so much compassion. We really lack that because shame has never improved executive functioning. Ever. Now I'm gonna give you uh another tool. It's called the five-minute rule. If a task feels overwhelming, tell yourself you'll do it for five minutes. That's it. Most ADHD brains struggle with starting, not necessarily the actual doing it. The five minutes often breaks the paralysis. Clear Path was built because I couldn't find what I needed when I was struggling. I didn't need another person telling me to meditate. Oh God, the meditating. I didn't need another motivational quote telling me. I needed a team, a roadmap, a holistic approach. Today, our clinic collaborates with psychotherapists, naturopaths, physiotherapists, osteopaths, nutrition professionals, traditional Chinese medicine practitioners, because healing isn't a one size fits all. Your system didn't happen in isolation. Why would healing happen in isolation? We don't ask what's wrong with you. We ask what happened to you? What does your nervous system actually need? What is your body actually trying to tell us? And from there, we build a plan together.
If you've recently been diagnosed with ADHD, I want you to hear this. ADHD is not proof that you're broken. It's proof that your brain processes information differently. Some of the most creative, most innovative, empathic, entrepreneurial, and passionate people I've ever met have ADHD, including many of my clients, maybe even including me. The goal isn't to become neurotypical, the goal is to understand yourself well enough to thrive. Your diagnosis isn't the end of your story. For many people, it's finally the beginning. If this episode resonated with you, please share it. Send it to someone who just got diagnosed. Someone who may suspect they have it. Send it to the woman who's convinced she's lazy. Send it to the man who spent years wondering why life feels harder than it should. And if you're in Ottawa, know that there is a community here that understands. At Clear Path, we believe healing happens when people stop fighting themselves and start understanding themselves. Until next time, be kind to your nervous system. Question your inner critic. And remember, ADHD isn't a character flaw. It's not a life sentence. And it's certainly not the end of your story. Sometimes what looks like a detour is actually the path you've been searching for all along. I'm Katrina Zlani, your local therapist. Thanks for listening.
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