Marriage With a Mission
Marriage with a Mission is a Podcast by Joel and Lauri Espinosa. The podcast is about their lives. Joel was born and raised in Mexico while Lauri was born and raised in the USA. They met while Lauri was on a mission trip to Mexico. They have lived in both countries during their married life. They have been married 25 years. They have four children.
Marriage With a Mission
Marriage with a Mission / Joel
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Today you’ll hear mostly from Joel about his life growing up in Mexico. The goal of this podcast is to help you understand a little bit about where he came from and who he is.
Welcome. You're here with Lori Espinosa and Joel Espinosa, my husband. We are starting this podcast called Married with a Mission. We um looked at a lot of different options, but it was I was so surprised how many people had everything we wanted. It was actually not that easy. There are a lot of marriage podcasts out there. Um people trying to start start up something. So hosting. Yeah, yeah. So hopefully this one sticks. Married with a mission. So today we're gonna start with Joel. We're gonna start by letting you know a little get to know us a little bit more and really why are we starting this podcast? What is our purpose? It's because we were called by God to start it. We felt led by him to do this. We've been married 25 years, we're still together, we still love one another, we have four kids. And um I'm trying so hard not to say um. It's okay. It's okay. This is the third time we recorded this. The last time I thought it was great, and then it wasn't. I said um like 200 times. So I'm gonna try not to say that. And every time I do, now you're gonna catch it because I brought it up.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah, but we're gonna keep it real and try to be as authentic as we can.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So we're gonna start. Here's how we're gonna do it. We're gonna start by Joel telling a little bit about his life before we met. And then I'll take a little bit of time on the next podcast to tell about my life before we met. And then the third podcast will get uh fun, at least it's fun for us. We get excited talking about it. How we met, and then we'll just go on from there. We'll talk about our marriage and having kids and um yeah, well, in and our lives because we grew up in two different countries, two different cultures.
SPEAKER_00So um so we're so different, and we try to we work really hard in all the differences to work together, to stay together.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yeah, I think that's important too to say I'm an American, you're Mexican, you're also an American.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, um, but yeah, I I I was born in Mexico City, a really big city, and um some areas are really pretty, some areas not that much, but like in every city. But I like it. It's really um it's really good. Um the few things that I remember uh that are really significant for me in Mexico City, of course, is um busy with family and the weekends. Um my parents were working a lot in at that time and I barely see them. Mainly it was just Saturdays and Sundays, and that's it. I I did not see them too much growing up. My grandmother, my dad's mom helped us to you know, she helped my parents to take care of us, me and my sister. Um the thing is they like something better for us, and I'm really thankful. So the first change that it was big on their lives is when they start going, you know, we grew up Catholic, but they start going to a Christian church and it was different. I didn't like too much the Catholic Church, but it I was like in between. It's not that I didn't like it or I like it. It was it was okay, I guess, but um I did the communion and all the things to when you are a little boy, a lot of memorization of scripture, but it was fine for me, but it was a little bit boring. I didn't like going to to mass or to the to the church. Then um my parents start going to a Christian church, they invite them, and so we start going to a Christian church. It was really different, it was more alive, if if I can put it in that perspective. Since we believe in the same God and in Jesus and everything, uh, but it was more alive. I like that, and the big thing that he was that did change my life, I believe, is uh when I went to the Sunday school class, and the teacher she was talking about the Holy Spirit, and she said, Hey, Jesus said the Holy Spirit is all helper and he can be with us who command to receive the Holy Spirit. And it's like, oh, that sounds fun. I was between eight and nine years old. So um I was praying over there with them, nobody touched me. Just a simple prayer, and I remember I was baptized by the Holy Spirit, I was feeling like moving back and forth, rocking a little bit, and then I was speaking in tongues, not a lot, but I was speaking a little bit, and I was like, What is going on? I was I'm solid, but it's something that I still remember that actually changed my life. It's like, man, God is real. This this is for real, not just what we read in a story or in a book, and that's it. Uh so that that really changed my life. Then afterwards, uh, we moved to another city, smaller city. My parents want to spend more time with us, so they can raise me and my sister in a different way instead of big city, and almost we never see my parents. So we moved to another city, way smaller, way smaller city, and um it was so interesting when we moved there because they have um a lot of uh different traditions, even if it was less than an hour, an hour away. But the first thing that it was so interesting is after work, my dad came to our house, like we ate dinner, it's like, oh, let's walk around to see what it what we can do over here. And it was like around 7 p.m. or 7:30, and we walk out, and a lot of the business already closed. So it was like a really small town at that time that oh wow, businesses are closing that early. Interesting. So if we want to go uh see the stores and see what is going on over here, we need to go a little bit earlier, or maybe in the weekend. So that was that was good. The other thing is we didn't have a telephone for a long time. Uh, so it was interesting. I remember going to the pay fonts to talk to uh my uh my mom wants to talk to her mom, my grandmother and grandparent, and we were just going over there, pay for the phone call, and then make a phone call. So it was so interesting how we were uh living over there. That was that was good. And uh I start my dad started a business over there. Well, he bought a business and I started working with him. It was really well, he was changing, fixing tires, changing the oil. So that's good. That is good, and I started working with him, learning the business. That's how I was earning money to buy cassettes or yeah, cassette stapes. They were not CDs yet. Almost. But um, that's how I earned money. I was little, I was around 10. I was checking the pressure on the tires, and um that's how I was earning tip money and and and and working. And one day I remember my hands were so dry, and my mom put Vaseline on them and they were hurting a lot, but I was feeling the pain, but I was feeling proud that I was helping my parents and I was working. So that was a different feeling that is like, oh wow. You know, it it stick in my head until now, you know, work and earn money, and sometimes work is not easy, sometimes it is. But um, that is that is really good. And um we we start going to the church over there in the city, and um I love riding my bicycle through the city. It was fine, they were the traffic it wasn't that bad, so I went to buy bread, I went to get tortillas, I went to visit my friends with my bicycle, and I went to went and rent video games for the Nintendo the weekend so I can play. So I I rode my bicycle a lot. It was really good, really good. I I really enjoy it. And um then around 13 I was in middle school and I I was getting interest, interested, have the interest with music. I always loved music, but like, oh, maybe I can play something. And I was learning the guitar, I didn't like the teacher, and I didn't I like guitar, but uh maybe wasn't the right approach, I don't know. But then around 12, 13, that I was looking at drums and it's like, wow, those they look really nice, they they are really good. So um, okay, I'm going to uh learn how to play the drums. And I asked the music teacher at um at the middle school, but the the school band was full, so I didn't have a chance. And uh I don't know if it was me or my parents that started asking around at the church, and there were two guys that they said, oh yeah, we can teach you how to play the drums, Ruben and Roberto, and they they were brothers, so I started going to learn how to play the drums. I remember I was going once a week, and then um my uh my parents were taking the taking me, or sometimes I um I was um going on the public transportation, and then I started playing more and more and more and getting a little bit better and playing with other people playing at church a lot and um then uh yeah, my sister was singing too and my mom, so it was really nice. It was really nice going to and learning that an instrument that is really that that was that was really special for me, and then um learning how to drive. That was I always loved driving, so I was driving when I was really little, my dad was teaching me. I think I was 12 when I started driving with my parents, there were no rules in Mexico, so that's good. So I was able to drive learn how to drive and drive a little bit on the streets or taking my mom someplaces. And then uh when I was in uh middle school, no high school, that well, middle school, that's when my mom started opening a business. And then when I was more in high school, I was helping more, and the business grew a little bit, that it was a small restaurant. Uh I started helping my mom uh buying all the groceries every Saturday. So we went to the Mercado and then we went to uh Aurera to buy everything. Um that was my chore.
SPEAKER_01You were still doing that whenever I met you.
SPEAKER_00That's true.
SPEAKER_01I know after we got married, you did it a few times until I got sick that once, but yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I remember you calling me.
SPEAKER_01Your parents were like, Yeah, maybe you should probably not do that anymore. I forgot. Did you help with it after that or not?
SPEAKER_00I think we help a little bit, but maybe my mom started buying things more nearby or closer than going all the way to the market and getting away.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because that was a lot to bring all that food for the week for her restaurant.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yeah, once a week. Yeah, that was I I man, I remember that that morning. I was getting ready and you called me. It was really feeling really bad, but we can leave that. We could put a pin on it and we can go back into that one. Yes, but uh yeah, I helped my mom every Saturday. We went to the Mercado first and then we went to Aurera. And at the end of the um the shopping, uh, we have everything ready into the car. My mom bought me a cheeseburger and some fries. So that was that was good. I really enjoyed that hamburger, it was so tasty. Uh, after working and carrying all that stuff, it was really good. I I enjoyed that that hamburger a lot. The other thing that I remember um me growing up before I I met you that I love doing it, it was playing soccer, of course, playing with all my friends in the neighborhood. We have a good team, the neighborhood team. That was good. And um I really enjoyed playing with them. We we end up having a good run and playing a lot, even in college. We keep playing until we moved here to the US. So that was I that was a really good, good friendship with them. Um and that hamburger that I was telling you, I remember I took you when we met.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, it was delicious.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that was a really good hamburger.
SPEAKER_01The funniest thing is we got fries with it, and you don't like ketchup on your fries, but whenever I met you, you like to ketchup on everything else.
SPEAKER_00Everything. I put ketchup on my black beans.
SPEAKER_01And you were like, I don't I don't like ketchup on my fries. I was shocked. Yes, are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_00You I mean, you like ketchup on pizza, you like ketchup on eggs, yes, and rice, and black beans, and quesadillas. Uh I yeah, I put ketchup in a lot of stuff. Yes, that was a lot.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so that was funny.
SPEAKER_00But now you like ketchup on your ketchup, yes, on your fries on my fries.
SPEAKER_01But you don't put it on your eggs anymore. No, I don't, or your beans, or your rice.
SPEAKER_00No, still sometimes on quesadillas when I don't have salsa, but uh I don't eat as much ketchup before man. I was going maybe a bottle a week on ketchup.
SPEAKER_01That was remember the time you made fun of me because you said you were like, When was it making fun of me? But you mentioned, hey, you're eating an ice cream again.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, like I think that's a lot of sweets.
SPEAKER_01A lot of sweets, and you drink coke every day for almost every meal and you put ketchup on everything. Yes, it was like years later that I said, wait a minute, do you know much ketchup? How many know how much sugar is in ketchup? Yes, do you know how much sugar is in Coke?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I was like, oh man.
SPEAKER_01I thought, oh, maybe I do eat too much sugar.
SPEAKER_00Yes, but I was eating it in a different presentation. Yeah, yes, yeah, but that's that was that was so so good. I I like it. Um, I enjoy um you know playing the the Nintendo, the Atari. I remember asking my dad for an Atari. I was, I don't know, I was little too, eight, seven-year-old. And I was asking the dad, hey, I want an Atari, I want an Atari. I want I like to go. Uh when growing up, every store, you know, there are so many stores everywhere. You just walk a block and there's a little store to buy chips or or bread, or that's the advantage of living in the country or in the city. In the city, yes. Um, but also the stores they have the little arcade machine, just maybe one when I was growing up. Or the how what's the they play soccer? What is that? The food football food. That one, that was so good. Footbolito. That was I love that. So I went so many times to play any of those.
SPEAKER_01Did you play by yourself?
SPEAKER_00Uh the arcade by myself. The football I went with friends because you need two players.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I was thinking, how would I mean I guess you could play by yourself. I've seen people do that.
SPEAKER_00But I know they were tall and big because they look like uh pool tables, they're kind of big and tall, so it was hard for me to see. And sometimes you get poked on your chest when somebody was pulling there was like, oh, be careful. Yeah. And uh, and later I remember uh my parents buying a baby one for me so I can play with my friends. Uh and I carry it outside, and we I play with a little ball. If if if I lose the ball, I use marbles to to play. It was it was so good. And I remember putting the um the name, I put the number on the on the on the back of each um player, and I put the name a little bit for the for the soccer team. It's like, okay, yeah, the names, and just just imagine they were real and and everything. Then um I think uh for the Atari, I told my dad, I want an Atari. My dad didn't know what it was. So funny story is that so one of my dad's customers went to the business that he was working. He's like, Hey, do you know who who wants to buy an Atari? And I was like, Oh my goodness, my son was just talking about that. So tell me about it. So he bought me a new Atari and gave that to me for Christmas, I believe. And and I was I was so happy to be able to play at home and uh invite a couple of friends. But at that time, you need to uh there were no places for you to rent games, you need to buy some. So I remember one Christmas that my dad bought Pac-Man for me. I was I was as happy as can be, and I think that was the best score that I did that that Christmas. I was playing, I was so excited, I was doing perfect on Pac-Man. That was that was so good. Uh, so I I I enjoyed that. Enjoyed uh later when I was working, saving my money to buy music. I remember buying my first boom box, and it has like two for two tapes, and I was mixing my own tapes, and I was recording that. It's like, oh, I'm gonna make my tape. I like the song, and I like the other song. And and I remember that uh telling my dad, hey, I want, I want, I want the tape player. Yeah, I want a little boom box on my on my bedroom. And he's like, Okay, save your money, buy okay, buy it. And we went to see at the market or at the store how much it was, and it's like, okay, now and I was saving my money and doing the countdown. Okay, I almost have the money. And after I bought that one, it's like, oh, that's a good way to do it. So then I started saving. I like Transformers a lot, the cartoon. And they were selling Transformers, and then I would start buying in middle school my my Transformers collection, and that's the way that I did it. I worked with my dad. No, the Transformer people, the toys, the toys, yeah. And I remember there was in a store, they have the the showcase right there, and there was a big transformer that was with the bad guys, uh, they were green construction. So there were six, and out of the six, you can build one huge robot together. And I remember because I was able to buy one of the little ones easy, you know. I work maybe a month and then I can get the money. But that one, I don't know how long it took. I remember I got a piggy bank, my parents gave me a piggy bank, and I was putting my money in there because that was expensive.
SPEAKER_01Did you end up getting it?
SPEAKER_00I got it. I was I was so happy. I don't know how many months I saved for that toy, but it was the best. When I bought it, it was box huge, and you get all the six toys, and then you transform them one way to play, and then you transform it another way to put them together to make the huge construction robot. And it was green and purple, I remember. I was like, Oh wow, that is so cool! So that for that toy, I saved, yeah. So that that's how I end up uh saving my money for the things that I want. And then um my dad helped me to he gave me the first car, my first car, and then I keep working because I want to fix it, I want to do some things on the car, you know, a little bit more, and then oh, another car is available. So I was, of course, working now more with my dad and earning real money. Uh, and then I moved to another car, and then um I was eating in Mexico City with our family, my mom's family, and my uncle said, Oh, I want to sell my car, I want to do this and that. And I love that car. I remember when he had that car, he's like, That car is amazing. So I remember telling my uncle, it's like, are you for real selling your car? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I want to buy it. You tell me how much it's going to be. I really want to buy it because I really like his car, it was really nice. And he had it since he was new, so I know it was really well taken care of. The car, it has just one hit on the side, and it's like, I don't, I don't care about that. I think he hit a post or something like that. It's like, that's that's nothing. And then I was so excited. I asked our family friend that he likes selling and buying cars, Manolo. Hey, I want to sell my car, so I I we cleaned the car, detailed really good. You know, I cleaned it really good. And then we went to the to sell the car on Sunday, and then I sold the car. So I asked my mom, hey, let's go to Mexico City. I want to give the money to my uncle. And I remember his face when I gave him all that money. And if I remember right, it was at that time, it was like 11,000 pesos. You know, it was a lot of money for me. And and I gave him the envelope. He's like, okay, this is the money that I have right now. When you are ready to sell your card, you know, of course, tell me how much it is, but I'm gonna keep working a lot. So when you're ready to sell your card, I give you the difference, but I don't want you to sell it to anybody else. That's why I'm giving you the money right now. So it was all on me, not not that that, oh yeah. No, no, no, it's like moving forward. Like, I want to buy it.
SPEAKER_01This is the first time I'm hearing this story. I didn't hear that. I've never heard this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, since we're talking about working, it was like, oh, I remember that. That was so cool. And I and then I worked really hard. All the summers, I I don't know, I don't know how long it took for me to get the car, six months or more. I don't remember, but that summer I was working every day with my dad after school, when there was no school in the weekends, I was working with my dad and saving my money to buy that car to pay for the difference.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then we would when we took the money and paid the difference. Um I remember my grandfather and my well, we went, we went, gave the money, my mom and I, and then my grandfather was there. He's like, What? How are you gonna go back? Oh, I'm gonna drive back. And he was like, Wow, you're gonna drive back from Mexico City all the way? I was like, Okay. And he said, Okay, let's go uh and take drive me around. I re and and then I I never drove that car either. And uh, so I drove the car, we went a couple blocks, he told me where, and then I remember I thought about it. Like, he wanted to know that I was able to drive back home safely. Yeah, he he was always so thoughtful about us and being safe and being good, and he was so kind, my grandfather. He we learned a lot from him.
SPEAKER_01He was really kind, he was really kind and really passed.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes. So I was so happy driving that car, and that's the car that you know uh that I had when when we when we met. That car. And I don't know how many times I told my dad, I want a motorcycle, let me sell that car, even if it was my car. Let me sell my car so I can get a motorcycle. And it's like, oh no, no, no. And my dad told me, How are you gonna go to school when it's raining? Or I always took my friends to school or from church, or I was the driver all the time, and I love driving, so I was fine. And um, yeah. Now the other story that uh you know this story, but I like to say is uh the way that I got my drums because they were they were loud. My parents are like, no, don't get drums, don't buy the drums, they're so loud, and I understand. I understand how loud, loud they are.
SPEAKER_01You understood so much you got them. Yes! You're like, I can only understand for so long. Sorry.
SPEAKER_00Yes, sorry. So um I was in college at the ISTAR college, one of my friends that we went to high school together, we went to pharmacy pharmacy school together. Um, I went I went to his house, and um his brother was uh sorry, he is a guitar player. And um and we were talking, chatting, and he's like, Hey, what do you do? Oh, I got to school with your brother, and we were talking. What do you do? Oh, I'm a guitar player, I'm playing this bar, this area. Okay, good, good. And then um a few months before ago, or maybe a year before that, one of my friends from church he bought a new guitar, so I bought his old guitar because I have the money. He's like, Oh, I want to have the guitar, at least I can learn a little bit. It was a Yamaha, a black Yamaha Yamaha guitar. And then when we were talking to my friend's uh brother, he said, uh, yeah, I play guitar, but right now I don't have any because I sold it for whatever reason. But I have a drum set in the at this bar, at this place. I was like, no way, I have a guitar and I like to play drums. So he said, Why don't we trade? I didn't know, I didn't, he didn't look at my guitar. He I didn't look at the drums, I didn't know. He didn't care. I didn't care. I was so happy. It's like, okay, let's do this, let's do this. So we said, we shake hands, we're good. And then one day I gave him uh he said, Oh, let's we need to finish the gig that we are playing, then you can take the drums. It's like, okay, no problem. So I I wait two, three weeks, and then I it like meet me at this place, I gave him my guitar, and then he gave me the drum sets, the drum set. I was so happy. The symbols were really cheap, and maybe the drums too, but I was so happy. I never told my parents until I got home and they're like, Ta-da! Look at this, I have a drum set, and I move my things in my bedroom and put the drum set over there, clean it a little bit.
SPEAKER_01And you're still playing drums today?
SPEAKER_00Yes, after all these years, man.
SPEAKER_01Still drumming. Your drums have their own room in our house.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, that's that's uh that's what it is. Yeah, wherever we move, we need to have a little spare room for the drums. Yeah, so that's uh yeah, I love playing the drums, and I'll play more percussion too. Um and um a little bit before we met uh my sister, my now brother-in-law, and another friend. We st we we were doing our own songs and uh playing music, and um that's why we got invited to the place that I met you, but we can leave that later. But yeah, I love playing the drums. Um yeah, it it's uh a big part of my my life for all these years. Um I play soccer a lot, but not as many as years as playing playing music. There are a lot of good experiences, good exercise, and um and I so I grew up like that, so different than the way that you grew up. That is that is so uh interesting how we are so different.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Uh in older customs and everything. At least we had blockbuster.
SPEAKER_01We both had blockbusters. Yes, yes, that's true. We both had roads, we both had cars.
SPEAKER_00Yes. No, you have cable TV.
SPEAKER_01I didn't have cable TV until Hey, I didn't get cable TV until I was teenager.
SPEAKER_00Me too. Me too. We didn't we didn't have cable. We're yeah, we're the city where we were well the street across the street, they have cable. The street that we were living, no.
SPEAKER_01Um like really well you lived in the city, I lived in the country. I mean, a lot of people I knew had cable, but um nobody did out where we lived until they finally brought it out there. I know my stepdad would have gotten it earlier if he could have. It just didn't, it just wasn't available. So we had three stations that definitely came in all the time, and then two more that um sometimes maybe maybe four that came in.
SPEAKER_00It depends the wind, how it was blowing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it did.
SPEAKER_00Yes, but man, blockbuster it was so good, so fun trying to get the movie and when it came out, and if you were not there early enough, you miss until somebody was gonna return it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And be kind and rewind.
SPEAKER_01All right, so we're we're at the end of our time. We're trying to stick with uh 30-minute episodes here, yeah, more or less. And next time I'm gonna share my story of how I grew up a little bit, just a little bit, just kind of like Joel did, some little stories here and there. Um, so you can get to know me a little bit before we met, and then how we work everything out. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So well, thank you for listening.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_00I hope you like it and keep listening to rest.
SPEAKER_01Yes.