Marriage With a Mission / How we met

In this episode, Joel and Lauri have a lot of fun remembering how they met and got to know one another. They will talk about how Joel asked Lauri to be his girlfriend and how everything lined up for Lauri to travel to Mexico. This episode has a video option.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, welcome to Marriage with a Mission with Lori and Joel Espinosa. In this episode, you will get to know us a little more and learn how we met and what each of us was thinking about entering into a relationship with someone from another country who speaks a different language. For Joel, it was love at first sight. For me, it took time to process and work out. We are going to share our lives with you. We've been married over 25 years, as we mentioned last time, and we hope our story will enhance your lives. Today we'll be continuing on with how we met. Last time we talked about our lives. Um, just give you a little snippet of our lives before we met. And so today we're going to talk about how we met. So, how did a boy in Mexico meet a girl from Kentucky who knew no Spanish? Um, so uh I was working in the children's ministry at my church, uh, but feeling like there was more for me. Um in high school, I had pursued in my senior year, I had pursued a little bit uh the army, um, just kind of uh testing the waters. Did I want to go? Um uh and and and then later decided not on that. Then later it was the Navy, and then um kind of looked into the Navy and started um exercising and trying to get fit.

SPEAKER_04 1:26

To train and get ready.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yeah. And then I don't think I'm gonna go to the Navy.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

That's a really tough call.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Yeah, and then it was then I thought, well, maybe the Peace Corps. Um the thing that the thing that I realized later in my life was that I felt like um I was getting prepared to move overseas. I just didn't know where it was coming from. I knew it was gonna happen. Like it, it just felt like I I had to go. It was gonna go somewhere. I was gonna go and and travel, but um I just wasn't sure how that was gonna happen. And so um anyway, um I finally sort of landed on full-time missions. Okay, I'm gonna be a full-time missionary. That's that's what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_04 2:16

It doesn't matter where, just full-time mission work.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

It didn't really matter where, just full-time mission work because I had this like burning in my heart, like that I had to I had to get out, I had to travel, I had to go somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Um and so I was I started uh working on that process, filling out the paperwork. Well, I um I went to talk with a pastor um of my church and told him my heart um to go do full-time missions. At least that's what I think, you know, I felt like I was supposed to go do. And he said, Well, you know, as you're pursuing that and thinking about that, um, he he gave me some tips. Um, and one really good one was maybe should try a short-term mission trip.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Just to try it before you dive in. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

I mean, I was a kid, you know, I didn't know what I was doing. I was like, yeah, let's just go do long-term mission trips. Never even been overseas, you know. I don't even think I'd been on a plane, if I remember right. I can't remember if I'd been on a plane before. Because you traveled by car with your parents for vocation, but yeah, I don't think I'd ever been on a plane. Um, so that was, yeah, that was kind of interesting. He's like, you should try a short-term mission trip, just maybe. I'm like, oh, okay, okay. Um, so I found there was a mission trip opportunity that was coming up at my church um that I almost missed. Um, I had no money to go on any kind of mission trip. Um, but um many people together um helped make it possible. Um, I was encouraged by uh a girl there um who was leading the trip, and she was just really encouraging, saying, Don't let money hold you back, don't let money stop you. And I was like, okay, and I'm just terrible. I really don't like asking for money, like still don't like asking for money.

SPEAKER_04 4:07

It's really hard, yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

I really don't like it. Um and so um I just I just felt like I needed to do that. So I wrote the this letter, I made a bunch of copies of it and sent it out to everybody I knew.

SPEAKER_07 4:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Um, and I was shocked because people actually gave me money.

SPEAKER_07 4:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

They gave so much money that they helped other people go on mission trips. Um, but also I think I sent it out to like 25 or 30 people.

SPEAKER_04 4:35

Uh so um you had leftover money.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Yeah. Yeah. You could went to other people. Other people, okay. Yeah. Uh to help them out on the mission trip. It's interesting too, because some people would send money, but then they'd send like a little letter, like, well, I mean, I don't really have much money, but here you can have some of this. Um, and that wasn't even the bad thing, but you could tell some people didn't even want to give and they just kind of felt like they had to, which obligated. Yeah, I'm like, I don't want anybody to give because they felt obligated. That was that's hard. That's that's just a hard it's hard to ask for money. Um I I just it's not it's hard for me, but for me too, don't worry.

SPEAKER_04 5:15

We're the same on that.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Okay, yeah. But people gave, and I'm like, wow, okay, people gave. Some people even put in there, this is just for you to use on the trip. I don't want this to go to your um to pay for your mission trip. I want this to go for your expenses. And I was like, well, that is really sweet, right?

SPEAKER_06 5:33

Yeah, that was really nice.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

They even sent like a check made out to me versus out to the church. Okay, yes. So that was really cool. You yeah. The funny thing too is I spoke French instead of Spanish. Um, I did not know like a Spanish.

SPEAKER_06 5:50

How many years?

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Um, three, two or three. Okay. Um, and I really like French. I had taken one year of Spanish and failed it, and it was the only class in all of my years of school that I failed. So that's pretty funny, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:04

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Pretty ironic. Um, there's a lesson there. Just because you fail at something doesn't mean you cannot do it. You cannot do it, and doesn't mean you should just give it up. Yeah, that is true. Um, so it was about a 10-day trip, and um I went on this trip. I went to Mexico, Pachuca, Hidalgo, Mexico, and um I met a bunch of youth there. I met 11 of them, and Joel was one of them. I could not speak Spanish, and nobody spoke English, none of them as far as I know. Some of them knew a few words from school, but nothing to carry on the conversation. And I just enjoyed myself with them. I really felt like I was blessing them. Um, I didn't want to feel like because it felt like we were all so separated from one another. You know, here are the Mexicans and here are the Americans. And um, and I was like, oh, I just don't want to feel like that. I don't like that feeling. So I went over and hung out with them, and I think they were teaching me bad words.

SPEAKER_04 7:09

I not remembered that. I was like, how can you do that?

SPEAKER_01 7:12

I didn't know I didn't know at the time until later, and I was like, oh, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 7:18

Yeah, that was really silly. It's like, oh my goodness. But what what did you do? So when you went to the mission trip, what you were doing?

SPEAKER_01 7:24

I was helping out with VBS, vacation Bible study.

SPEAKER_04 7:27

Yeah, but what what you were doing at the at the vacation Bible study? Like teaching the kids or giving okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah, just doing a lot of different things. I didn't really talk to the kids a whole lot. When I did, I s French came out and I didn't even realize it. Um there was a lady, there was a girl on the trip who told me, Lori, you are speaking French. And I was like, Oh, you even remember I didn't even know I remembered French.

SPEAKER_04 7:51

Like But just just your brain switch because there were other people doing other stuff like construction and like tennis clinics. Yeah, I don't know, it was a really big group.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

It was a big group, like we're 30 of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:02

It was a really big group.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Or missionaries who had to deal with us and host us.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

I think they said they weren't ever gonna have that many people again because it was a lot.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

Yeah. It was a big project.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Yeah, yeah. So um, like I said, the trip was about 10 days. I got back home, wrote out um eleven um of the youth that I'd met, including you and uh little postcard. One other guy in your band, and then yeah, little postcard, and just saying, I just encourage you. You know, we came and we because when we we came, we actually brought people into the church. Like we we invited people into the church, and people were coming, and I was like, Oh, I want to just encourage all those who were here to um to come come in the Lord to um not to come to church but to um just kind of take over where we where we left off, you know. It was just my heart. I just wanted to do that. So um, so I wrote 11 and then uh four wrote back. Um it was you and another guy and then two girls. And then I wrote all four back again, and you were the only one who continued to write back. To reply, yeah. We continued in communication. Um, so you can tell a little bit about what was going on in your life, the time we met, um in April of 1999.

SPEAKER_04 9:27

1999, I know. Wow. Yeah. Well, what was going on in my life? So I was in college. I remember um before I met you, I I I was a uh pursuing to to play soccer, but I was disappointed a little bit for all the politics. I need to know somebody to maybe do something else, but but it it's okay. Everything came out great. So I decided to pursue music more uh to move my focus to be on music and of course college. Uh so my it was my sister's boyfriend, now it's my brother-in-law, and then one of our friends and uh my sister helped a little bit, so we form a little band on the side from the church. I always was I was playing a lot uh at the worship team, but it's like, oh let's do something original or or or on songs. And um, I remember back then um in '98, we have a worship leader that he was teaching us music and being uh a worship pastor leader for I don't know if it was a couple of years, but his wife and my sister got really, really good friends. They were really good friends. So we developed relationship and I remember we um we invite them to uh our house, my well, my parents' house, to uh Posada. It was before Christmas. A party before Christmas, that's called Posada. So we were eating, we were talking, and he's like, Hey, uh, I know you have your little group uh well we were start starting. We're like, hey, there's gonna be uh a mission trip. Uh some missionaries that are gonna come and we need um we're thinking about we need something to gather more people. So if you play your music that it wasn't worship songs, it was just rock Spanish rock music, um maybe we can we can gather more people. So I remember he talked to the pastor and the missionaries, and they like the ideas. He's like, hey, come over here and then you can play. So I remember um we set up our gear and we start playing a little bit, and we stopped, and we uh people were talking, and I know people the more we play, more people were gathering. So it was getting kind of full. The area was like, Oh, that's good, you know. We we were doing what we're supposed to do, you know, they didn't pay us, you know. We was all free in there, like we're doing our work, but it was all free. So um this is the uh the craziest thing because uh we were playing music, I was enjoying it, having fun, and and all of that. And I remember uh that your group started coming into the to the house, or it was it was a house.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

We started going into the house.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

Yeah, going into the house.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

You weren't in the house, you were outside.

SPEAKER_04 12:33

Well, we were in the patio.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

It was a big, a big but you were outside of the house.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

Yes, but it was in the patio or whatever. It was a big area um where they have uh yeah, let's say outside in the garage, where whatever, whatever part in the house, yeah. Uh because in Mexico all the houses have walls around. So you were coming in through the door. Um and then I remember I saw I I saw everybody coming, and then when I saw you, I felt something that I never felt before. And um I um yeah, that's that's really sweet just to think about it. Because uh I was just doing my own stuff, I didn't care about anything just about me and soccer and music and video games. But when I saw you, I felt like that's the one. And I was like, what's going on? Something flipped or switched, I don't know, turned on in my in my body, in my brain, and uh I was like, what is going on? There was a feeling that I never never felt before, and it was really special, but I was playing music and tried to enjoy what was going on, so I was I put that in the back of my head. It's like what was that? What was that? Okay, let's keep playing, let's keep playing. But then when we finish, I have that uh urgency to meet you, to know you. And it's like how how I'm gonna do that. I don't speak English, I just say hi, hello, and uh I am you are and I don't know all that stuff really basic from school. Uh the good thing it was a success that day that they invited us to play the next day, and I was so happy to go again so I can to play again, so uh I can see you at least. I didn't know your name, I didn't know anything. Uh and I didn't know if you have a boyfriend or not. You know, nothing, but it's like, oh my goodness, that's the one I need to do something. Uh yeah, something changed in inside of me. Um and I wasn't looking for anybody, I wasn't looking for uh like I said, I was playing music, video games and school, playing soccer, and um and everything changed, and so we played, we went the next day, and I remember I saw you again, but that's it. And I remember we finished playing, pack our gear, and other guys were talking to us, and it's like, Man, I really want to talk to this lady, but I cannot find her. And I was like, Oh man, okay. So during that talk, I asked the people, the uh the host of the of the event, of the youth, or I don't know who I asked, to be honest. I was like, What is going on? Tell me the next days, what are you gonna be doing? I was at school, but I didn't care if I missed classes just to try to know you. It's like, what is her name? What is what is going on? Um, and they told me, Oh, the last day is on Saturday, and then they're leaving Sunday. I'm like, what is going on? She's living that that fast. And I remember uh okay, where's gonna be on Saturday? And and I asked my friend, like, okay, you know more English, so um, please come with me. I pay you lunch, whatever it is, so you can come with me, and at least I need to know her name and find something. And I remember at night, I was like, God, what is going on in my heart? This is crazy. Why am I have I am desperate to know her when I don't know her? And like, okay, okay. So we went Saturday, we sneak in, we were not invited, but we just joined it like, hey, hello, how do you do? Just chill and yeah, try to talk to everybody. We talk here and there, and finally I saw you over there, but it took me a while to get my uh courage to talk to you. It was my friend to come with me and talk to you.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

But you couldn't talk with me, yeah. You had your friend had to translate. Yes, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_04 16:52

My friend has the trend to translate. So I remember uh I think we spoke maybe like I don't know, three minutes, five? We just exchanged names and you asked me for my address, but you asked me to write it on your shirt.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

Yes, and you didn't have anything any place to write it, so you're just writing it.

SPEAKER_04 17:12

So you can see how prepared I was, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:15

You had a pen, right?

SPEAKER_04 17:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Or a marker or something.

SPEAKER_04 17:18

I think or somebody, yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Or you asked somebody, and so I was like, okay. I think because I asked you for your address. Yes. I was like, oh, give me your address, because I was getting all the addresses together because I was gonna do that.

SPEAKER_04 17:29

Yeah, maybe you used it was your pen, not my pen.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Might have been. And you were like, Can you write your address on my shirt? And I was like, I guess it's weird, but okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:38

I remember like I have yeah, but it's better than a piece of paper. Yeah. And for a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

He also had a camera with him.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

And he was too afraid to ask for my picture. And so he just held the camera right next to his side and took a picture of me, hoping it would catch me.

SPEAKER_07 17:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

And we still have that picture. We were gonna have that to show, so I don't know, maybe we can look that up later. But um, we uh I remember where we married when I was looking through the pictures. We were married and I was looking through his pictures and I was like, you get this picture of me. Yes. And he goes, Oh yeah, you cannot believe what I did.

SPEAKER_03 18:17

Yeah, because I was so afraid just to take a picture of you that you look at me taking a picture.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Yeah, I would have let you, but it it would have been weird too.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

Yeah, yeah. So I was like that was Steve I can and then when I developed it's like, oh, I can see just that just her face. That one I was so happy.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

I was really happy like, yes, yeah, you're yeah, so funny.

SPEAKER_04 18:38

It was it was really, really funny. But then and then uh Sunday came and I went to my church, and you went to your church, and then you left.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Yeah, that was it, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:49

Um, yeah, yeah, that was that was hard for me because I knew something was going on with me. For you, you didn't didn't have a clue. You just have a good time and enjoy hopefully good music. But I know you enjoyed the good food.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Yeah, yeah. I enjoyed the whole trip. It was really special, really memorable, but especially since I met you.

SPEAKER_04 19:13

Like yeah, if we can say met, we we just exchange address and that's it.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

Um, but the I think the thing that's really important to say here is before or when we met, yeah, before we met, when we met, we were enjoying life. Both of us were.

SPEAKER_07 19:30

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

I was having a great time, like the time of my life. I was um loving my church, loving the ministry I was doing at church, loving my job, um, loving like my friends. I was a part of a singles group.

SPEAKER_04 19:46

And you were doing that level of TV too.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Oh, we did so many things, and it was so fun. Um I just we were enjoying life. We were happy in our lives. Neither of us was looking for a spouse. Um, and but I was hopeful I would marry one day. And I think you, I don't know if you would say you were hopeful, but you just assumed you're gonna marry someday.

SPEAKER_04 20:07

Yeah, I am I I I thought I was gonna get married one day. I didn't know when I wasn't looking. And for me, playing at church for a long time, I didn't want to marry somebody from my church for all because everybody knew me. Or the other churches that I was going there and play more often because I didn't like the pressure. Like, oh, now he's dating that. Because I know with the other musicians that they were with me, they were dating all the girls, and it's like, I don't like all that attention. I don't like that. I just want to one day find some bad someone.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:43

But it was it was it was in the back of my head.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Well, I had, I think it was that same month, or maybe it was the month before, a friend of mine had said, um, hey, some of us, you know, friends of mine, we've been writing down our list of things that we're hoping for in a husband and then praying for those. And um and I was like, Oh, that's cool. I think I'll do that too. Um, and so I remember um uh writing down the list, like praying and going, okay, God, you know, these are the things I want in a husband, and um and starting to pray for that list. And um and yeah, so I actually have the list upstairs, I still have it, and I meant to bring it down, but I didn't. So we have two things to bring in the picture. And the list. And the list. Yes. Um, so uh so we then we got to know one another. Um we were there was the postcard and then a letter and then a letter.

SPEAKER_04 21:44

And it took like four weeks to my mail got to you faster.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Yes. But your mail took about a month to get to me. And so in one of your letters or in one of my I think it was one of yours, you said, Why don't we get email? And I was like Like, yeah, and the funny thing is a friend at at our in our singles group, he was telling everybody, Hey, if you don't have email yet, this was when email was still kind of new. Yeah, it was it was if you don't have email yet, I can help you get set up with email. And I'm like, I don't want email. Who would want email? Yeah, uh but then meeting you, I'm like, Well, actually now I can see you for a reason why.

SPEAKER_04 22:21

And it'll be faster to communicate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Yeah. So so then I I said, Okay, yeah, I'm gonna get some I'm gonna get email. And then you got you went and you got email so that we could communicate better. So it was that was way better.

SPEAKER_05 22:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

Um, and it it was like uh not too far after that, you sent me a letter and you kept telling me I've I sent you a letter, I sent you a letter. Have you got it yet? Have you got it yet? And I said, No. And it seemed to be pretty important to you. Yeah. And when I finally got it, I opened it up and it said, Will you be my girlfriend?

SPEAKER_02 22:55

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

And I remember thinking, Oh my goodness. Yeah, like that's gonna go anywhere.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

I know, he's thousands of miles away in another country.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Oh my goodness, this is this is kind of funny.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Like, I was dead serious, and you're like, oh poor good.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

I know, I was like, sure, I can be his girlfriend, whatever. Like, yeah, and I was like, yeah, you because you were so nervous about it, and I just thought, this is so funny.

SPEAKER_04 23:27

He acts like he lives next door, and so um it was really really important to me. I meant it like it was really, really important, and like, oh man, this is because of the way that I was feeling. And I I don't know how many times I went to bed and I pray and I cry because it's like God, why do you put this feeling on me? She doesn't leave even the next day in a in a different state, the two, three, four hours that I can drive and I can see her, but I don't know if I'm gonna see her ever again. So I was it was it was hard for me. I was really sad. And I pray a lot because it was really important, but at the same time really emotional. Because I never I never care about I never care about anybody. It was just me and me and me and what I was doing. And suddenly it's like wow, I need to think about her. And I like her, but I don't know her, and I have a lot of love for her, and it it was it was hard. That's why it was really important for me. And um for you was the opposite. But that's good. Yeah, it's it's it's really funny, it's really interesting the way that it worked out.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Yeah, it's and I don't mean to laugh at you, but it was at the time. I know, I know, I completely understand. What in the world? Like oh, poor guy. Yeah, poor guy, whatever, fine. Yeah, he's gonna that way he can show off and tell his friends, you know, Mexico, I've got a girlfriend from the United States.

SPEAKER_04 25:11

Yeah, well, um at school, nobody believed me. Yeah, nobody believed me, and you yeah, I remember telling you that. Yeah, so you thought that was crazy. That was crazy, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

Yeah. Well, and and I didn't know Spanish, so I was asking a friend to translate, and then I found this translator on the computer, which was really pitiful. Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_04 25:30

I I had one.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

And I also had a dictionary, so I would use that a little bit. Um, but that got really you know, that's going through everywhere. Like, oh my goodness. And then some of the conjugations, you know, you're like, I'm like, I don't even know what that is. That's not in my dictionary because it's a conjugation of a different word. Yes, and how it was still a little complicated. Um, and then I met a guy at um my church who went out and was that before I went to Mexico? No, that was after. Um, because I was telling people I was trying to learn Spanish, and um, and they were like, Oh, we need to get in touch with this one guy who goes out and visits families around here who are from Mexico. And um, and they're they live on the horse farms and they work out there and they they don't know English.

SPEAKER_05 26:18

And I said, Oh, that sounds amazing!

SPEAKER_01 26:20

I love that. Yeah. So I met this guy, and um and he took me to see this one family, and um I became friends with them, and I started learning a little bit of Spanish because they did not speak English, and I did not speak Spanish. Yeah, so he was so I was teaching them English, they were teaching me Spanish, and they were lovely, they always fed me, and these people didn't have that much money, uh, but they always fed me and always welcomed me, and I would just show up randomly and they're like just welcome, like come on in. Um with that you have a a little bit better idea about my culture, even if they didn't live close where I was from, but just a little bit. I also got these tapes from the library um to start learning Spanish, um, because they were tapes where it would say like a sentence in English and then the sentence in Spanish, and then you repeat the sentence in Spanish. And so I would do that, and I started so from doing the tapes and going to visit the family that I met, um, I started to be able to distinguish words. So before when someone would say a sentence in Spanish, um uh venga, venga aquí para que te digo algo, I would hear that as just one word.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

And then what um but then I started um so from the the experience, you know, from the tapes and the friends, I started being able to distinguish words. Oh, that's a word, that's a word, that's a word, that's a word. So you know, I was doing something. I was that was good. I was doing something. Um and then um someone uh uh I put here someone from our mission group stayed in Mexico to help out the missionaries for a few months with teaching.

SPEAKER_05 28:16

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

They had actually stayed there after the mission trip, right?

SPEAKER_05 28:19

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

And then they met you and you hung out with them and you told them how you liked me. Yes. Um, and this girl, um she so she brought back some things from Mexico for me because she wanted me to have some of some things from you.

SPEAKER_07 28:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

And um, and I went to her house and got those. And uh, I know some of one of it was like a trophy and a tape. A tape.

SPEAKER_04 28:48

Yeah, a VHS tape. VHS tape, that's right. In a mixtape. Mixtapes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

That's the best. Old school.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

Old school, and look at that. My favorite music just for you.

unknown 29:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Um, so she yeah, she knew that you liked me, and um the funny thing is she didn't want to give me the things at first. Um and then finally she she she she gave in. I went to go pick them up at her house and she reluctantly gave them to me. Um and then let's see, after that was when I got the letter asking me to be your girlfriend. Yeah. And then what happened? You asked me to come to Mexico. No, no, no, you asked me if you could come to the United States to visit me.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

That's right. And I said, what? What? Well, maybe. So I started, I had a friend who spoke Spanish really well, and he was a single guy, lived on his own. And I said, Hey, what do you think about someone I know that I met in Mexico coming and staying with you? I'll come and pick him up every day and take them around places, but how would you feel about him staying the nights with you and um and and just you know hanging out with you sometimes uh while he's here? And you and he was all for it. Like he was excited about it.

SPEAKER_07 30:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Um, I don't even remember his name, uh, but he was looking forward to it. And I'm like, okay, I found a place for you to stay. Um and then you went, you could tell your story, you went to the embassy.

SPEAKER_04 30:31

So, okay, after uh you said, okay, that's good. We have we have a little plan. I was so excited more more to see you again than go, but I never left. I always live in Mexico, so I my goalie wasn't to come to the US. But my goalie was to come and see you. That was that was the whole thing. So I remember I I applied to get my passport and then I applied to and it was over the phone to make your your appointment at the embassy. There was internet, but no, that it wasn't that sophisticated. So I made my appointment, drive all the way to Mexico City really early in the morning, you know, save my money to pay for the appointment, the pictures, everything, be in line over there. And and I was so nervous. I remember I was so nervous at the embassy. Just wait for your turn until they called your name, and then you go on the front, and then they'd interview you a little bit. And I remember they said, uh, what do you want to do? Oh, I want to go over there to to Kentucky to visit uh this this lady and this person, and and uh and like so okay, uh, what do you have? What what what is going on? He's like, uh I just have my car, I'm a student, I'm in college. And he's like, What is the reason? Uh I think is what they say. What uh do you have a big reason to come back? He's like, Yeah, my parents, my family. He's like, Yeah, no. And then then I right away like you're gonna see a girl that you will like, and you don't have a really good reason to stay in Mexico. They're like, no, benign. I was so disappointed, and it's like, okay. And I remembered I have a chance to apply again because I was saving my money for the for the plane ticket. I've never been on a plane too, but so then I a few uh it was like two months or three when I apply again to get the um to get the visa. So I did the whole thing again because uh on a passport, I think I even got one year passport because I remember they told me if they deny it twice and you have a 10-year passport, it's gonna look bad. So it's better if you have a new passport.

SPEAKER_07 32:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:41

For the following years, like, okay, I just got a one-year passport, and that's it. All the tricks I can and I remember um I talked to my parents, like, yeah, I'm gonna try it again and everything. And I remember even um my dad uh put some of uh the business or put his business or something like that in my name, even that I was in college, to help me to come over here. So that was that was really nice. Um so I went back to um to the embassy and then the whole process and I remember at that time uh you sent me a letter from the church asking me if I can go play because of the music. And at that time I already recorded and I took the tape that I recorded with this artist. So it's like, look, I'm a musician, they invite me to from this church. I have the letter, I have the CD, but tape. I have the tape right here.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

Here is my name. I'm a musician, and look, uh I have this business over here.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

Like if I like now I know better, but you know, if they have me in the system, it's like you didn't have anything three months ago now, yeah. Yeah, right. So I was still like, yeah, I have all everything. Now they cannot deny it visa. And the same thing, they deny, and I was so so disappointed. I was really heartbroken. And I remember uh walking uh from the embassy all the way down to downtown Mexico City to just thinking about it, and I was upset, so I was thinking, well, I'm gonna walk, I'm just gonna start walking. So I went to a music store just because I was so heartbroken, and I found a snare drum that I still have a little bit more for decoration now, but I bought that one with some of that money. It's like, man, I cannot go over there. At least I'm gonna get something that I like or something. So and then I went back back home.

SPEAKER_05 34:41

What about the guy?

SPEAKER_04 34:42

Oh my goodness, thank you. So when I yeah, I was really heartbroken. So I walk uh to the to downtown uh El Centro, yeah, and then I was going from music store to music store, and I was just thinking my mind is it was all over the place, and then I saw a guy, a guy at the corner. He was like talking out loud to people. You don't see that often in Mexico City. So I was walking over there and he looked at me and he was all dressed in white. That's what it caught my attention. But he wasn't talking about politics, I don't know what he was talking, but he looked at me and I remember he's like don't leave your country, your country needs you. Like, tell me something like like like like don't go just like like maybe don't be crazy, don't do something like I don't know. Yeah, like you you need to stay here and all that, and it's like okay, and I keep walking, it's like that was so weird.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

That was I mean he didn't see you leave the the leave the uh oh no no he was in downtown uh Mexico City.

SPEAKER_04 35:49

Uh the embassy in downtown. No, he didn't no I was just it took me maybe half an hour or more walking uh from the embassy to Mexi to the center, and then I went to the music stores and bought the snare, and then when I went back, it's like that was really interesting. So I went back and I saw him again, but that was kind of far away, and the other side was like, Yeah, this guy is real. But that was that was really profound because I was really sad. Yeah, and maybe that that really brought some kind of peace. Like, okay, I don't need to go, I don't need to go and try really hard to go and see you. That's what I that's what I got from from that encounter.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

But it was really, really like, oh wow, that was when I and I was thinking, you know, I came on this trip uh nine April '99, I think it was uh April the 2nd to the 11th or something like that. That was a really quick trip. Yeah. That's not even 10 days, um, if that's the dates. Um and so I came and there, and then you fast forward, I think August was when you asked me to be your girlfriend. And then you you were asking maybe even before that to come or after that, I don't remember. Yeah, everything just kind of went, I feel like it was really fast. May June, July, August, September, October, November, December. So I'm gonna pick up from there and say when he got back, he said from from the embassy, yes, he said, Look, I've got some money saved.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

Um they denied my visa again.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

They deny my visa again. Why don't you come here? And um I send you some money. You said I will send you some money if you come here, um, since I have this money saved, and that'll help you um buy the plane ticket. Well. Ha ha. Hilarious. Are you crazy? Like, that's what I thought. I thought there is no way in the world ever that I will ever do this. No, who does he think he is?

SPEAKER_03 37:50

We we didn't know each other. Just in email. Just you, but you're saying no mana, don't tell you.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

I'm like, oh my goodness, yeah, right. Like, that's never gonna happen. But yeah, I kept like, you know, like thinking on that, and I was like, that is the craziest thing, man. He first asked me to be his girlfriend, then he asked me to come visit, like he invites himself over here, and now he's now he's asking me to come to Mexico.

SPEAKER_04 38:23

Yeah, that that that that was it. I I was that bold.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

You were, and it it was it here we are 25 years later.

SPEAKER_04 38:30

I know, yeah, but but it's like now that the you're saying it, and I'm thinking it's like, oh my goodness. What I was thinking, I was thinking about you, but but I I think if God didn't put that in my heart, I wasn't gonna be that bold.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

Well, no, no, I don't think he would either. And um, you know, I just remember when you told me that, I just thought, this is this is ridiculous. There's no way I would ever do that. So then I'm like getting around with my friends, and they know that we're writing back and forth, and some of them Somebody was helping you translate too, right? And a couple of them were, you know, so I'd I'd be like hanging out with my friends and oh, how's that, how's Joel doing, or you know, how's the guy doing in Mexico that you're writing, you know, how's that going? And um, and I said, Oh my goodness, you would not believe it. You would not believe it. He asked me to come to Mexico. He he can't make it here, sadly, but he asked me to come there. And then the craziest thing, and they were like, You should do that, you should go. What are you ridiculous? Like, do you do you have a brain?

SPEAKER_03 39:33

Are you really my friend? Yeah, but you want to stay with all my stuff. I know you want to keep that.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Yeah, so I'm like, oh my goodness, these people are ridiculous. So then I I go and I, you know, I'm hanging out with other friends, and um, and we're talking, conversing, and we're getting the same conversation, and I'm like, oh yeah, he can't come visit. Um, but he asked me to come to Mexico. And they were like, oh, that sounds fun. What? What? Oh, no, it doesn't. It doesn't sound fun at all. It sounds like dangerous, crazy, like a bad movie. And bad meaning somebody dies in the movie. Yes, yes, yes. Oh man, that's and so this keeps happening, and I'm like, what is going on, God? What I don't understand this, and I I have a really good relationship with God. I like we I just talk to him a lot. I'm a single girl, yeah. You know, I spend I I'm with friends a lot in the church life, but also have a lot of alone time, and in my alone time, I'm talking with God. I mean, I have a really good relationship with him at this time in my life, and um, and I'm just talking with God going, I don't understand. And then I remembered one of the other clues, one of the other night tips that my pastor had given me. And he said, if you ever are thinking about making a decision, ask people around you for counsel. Ask friends who you know, um, who also believe in God, who also believe the way you do, ask them what they think about decisions. Well, he didn't say that, he just said ask. He said, get counsel. And um he said, just ask people who you trust. And and I was like, huh. This is weird. There's no way I would ever want to go, but I am kind of curious. Like, I don't understand why people keep saying, I think that's a good idea. So I just kept I so I started going around a little more serious and like, hey, what do you think about um this? Well, I don't even think I was serious, honestly. I think I was still just kind of having conversations with friends, and they were like, Yeah, you should do that. Yeah, so nobody, not anybody, and I had a lot of friends. Yeah, nobody said, Oh, you shouldn't do that, that's really weird. Oh, who does he think he is? Oh, don't do that, that's unsafe. Everybody said that sounds fun, you should do that. Yeah, oh, when are you going? What do you mean when I'm about to do that?

SPEAKER_04 42:06

They were encouraging you instead of Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 42:09

Yeah, that that was that is really interesting and wild.

SPEAKER_01 42:15

Because Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 42:17

Yeah, got to know the country to a guy that you don't know. You just say hi to him in five minutes and be writing emails and that's it.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Yeah. So um, so I'm I'm not serious about this. I'm not feeling good about it. I think you you sent me the money.

SPEAKER_04 42:35

Yeah, I sent I sent you some money. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:37

Just in case or something. See, that doesn't make sense to me because I don't remember wanting to go. Um, maybe you sent it to me, you had to have sent it to me or you sent it to me later. But I remember uh I was sitting at a table with friends, three other friends, me and three friends, and we were all hanging out talking together, and one of them looked at me and said, Hey, so whatever happened with that guy who invited you to Mexico? And I said, Oh yeah, I called, I checked on the tickets. The tickets are way too expensive. I do not have that, I don't have that kind of money. Yeah, I have this much money. Um, I think you had sent me the money because I was like, Well, I mean, everybody's saying I should go. Maybe I should at least look into it. Um, and then when I saw the price, ticket prices were were up, I was like, Yep, can't go, can't you? Can't go.

SPEAKER_04 43:23

Can't go.

SPEAKER_01 43:24

It's my excuse, I can't go.

SPEAKER_04 43:25

And and it was gonna be after Christmas, so all the tickets in December.

SPEAKER_01 43:29

Yeah, it was December 26th that I was gonna travel because that's when I was on vacation from work. Um at that, um, yeah, I was on vacation, or I that's I don't know because I was working somewhere else at the time. I was working at the church, yeah. So I could take my vacation and whenever. But I think that was just a good time, and it was like we just decided December 26th would work for whatever reason. And um, and so I was sitting around with friends and I said, Um, yeah, I can't do it. The ticket prices are too Much so I'm not going. Well, my friend said, Well, what's what's what's your ticket? What's your price? Um, what's your max price? And so I told her, and she said, Okay, so she calls an airline right there while we're sitting there. She goes, I'm just gonna ask 'em. And I'm like, You can ask them all you want. I already checked them.

SPEAKER_03 44:17

Yeah, it's checking. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

She checked. She gave okay, yeah. I'm looking for these days, these days, yeah, okay. Okay, and what's the day you want to come back? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and what's the price? And she holds the phone out to me like she didn't say, like, just like here it is. Because they gave the price that I could pay. Yeah, the money that you have in the account. That I have that's yeah, that's how much the price was the ticket was gonna be. So she hands it to me and I know it. And I was like, Yeah, and so I take the phone and they're all going, yeah, yeah, do it, do it, do it. And and I take the phone and I'm like, yeah, and I check the dates, yeah, and the price, yeah, okay. All right, and then I give my credit card um number or my debit card number. Yeah. Um, I went and grabbed it and gave them my number and I paid for those tickets. And I got off the phone and about had a heart attack.

SPEAKER_04 45:08

Like, I know, and no, but but but you know what? Go back a little bit because I give you the money, and how did you come up with the difference?

SPEAKER_01 45:16

I didn't have any money, that's true. No, because all my money went to all my expenses. Yes, yeah. My friend Patty, um, she uh she's a realtor, and she had told me if you um recommend me to people, refer me to people, I'll give you um a hundred dollars for each referral. Well, I'd been telling my friends who were looking to buy a house, I said, Oh yeah, my friend Patty, she's a realtor. Um, you can you can talk to her, and they were like, Oh, sure, give me your number. Well, they ended up buying houses. I pff I didn't care. Like, I would have told them anyway. Anyway, um, I didn't expect any money, and then um she just gives me $200 one day, and then I don't remember I got fifty dollars from something else, like out of the blue, and I and so my half and your half came together, and I ended up having perfect exactly what I needed, and I was like, You've got to be kidding me. And so I got tickets to go to Mexico, and that's when I came to see you was December 26th.

SPEAKER_04 46:19

Yeah, did you email me your your dates and everything? And uh I remember um you called the missionaries too before you you came.

SPEAKER_01 46:31

That was another thing, because I was not gonna come because some random guy asked me to come visit him.

SPEAKER_03 46:39

I'm not a random guy.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

What you were at the time.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

Um, and so that was another thing too before I made that. You're right. I actually called the missionaries who lived in the same city, and I said, Look, this guy's asking me to come and visit. Would you and meet him? Do you mind if he comes to your house and gets and you get to know him and you tell me what you think? And they're like, sure, no problem. You know, that's the thing. Like, they should have said, well, no, that should have, because if this was meant to be. Yes, but a normal, normal people. Normal situation.

SPEAKER_02 47:13

Normal situation.

SPEAKER_01 47:14

They are normal people. A normal situation, they would have said, Lori, what are you thinking? I don't think that's a good idea. You are a single girl, you don't need to be coming here.

SPEAKER_04 47:24

Yeah. Um you don't speak the language.

SPEAKER_01 47:26

You don't speak the language. You don't, you don't need to be coming here. And I was just like, and I didn't want to. I was waiting and just for anybody to tell me this was a ridiculous idea.

SPEAKER_00 47:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:42

And everybody everybody said yeah. And when I asked this missionary couple, they're like, sure, yeah, have them come over. And you sure enough, you showed up at random times, you'd eat supper with them. They'd be eating supper, they'd invite you in. Yeah, they talk about how funny it was, and and I remember you went over. You kept going, started teaching like drum lessons to somebody in their church or something.

SPEAKER_04 48:07

Yeah, because it's like, oh, we need drummer. So I I think I started teaching like two or three guys. So I went before rehearsal or after. Yeah, so I was going.

SPEAKER_01 48:19

You got to know them, and then I called them, I don't know how much later, and this was before I even got the tickets, I believe. Yeah, this was whenever I was still trying to make the decision. So I called them and I'm like, hey, what do you think? And they're like, Lori seems like a great guy. I think you're totally safe coming here. I don't see, I just don't think there's a problem with it. And I'm like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, why is everybody doing this? Everyone's telling me, go I'm trying to be smart here. Yeah. Everybody else is telling me.

SPEAKER_04 48:53

Am I the only am I the only adult in these days? And no, the risk.

SPEAKER_01 48:59

So they were like, I think he's fine. Like, he seems like a really great guy. I think you're gonna be fine. So, but you know what? Just in case, here's our cell phone numbers, here's our home number, here's our address, here's what you do. You just give this, you get in a taxi and you hand this to somebody, the address. If ever, you know, anything happens, you give us a call if you can get to a phone, and we will we will be there.

SPEAKER_04 49:22

And also we make a point to eat with them.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

We made a plan to eat with them lunch one day, just in case you you killed me, you know, and I didn't show up. They would have my mom's number.

SPEAKER_02 49:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:33

Um they would have my mom's number because I think I gave home information, my parents' information.

SPEAKER_02 49:38

We watched so many movies, but I know. I understand, I understand. I understand. It's like, whoa, what is that? Well, this is too much.

SPEAKER_00 49:46

Yeah, goodness. So goodness, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:51

I I think man, that's a lot, that's a lot.

SPEAKER_01 49:55

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

Yeah, they gave me the okay. They were like, come on, and that that's I think when you sent the money was after that. I was like, okay, I'm gonna look for tickets.

SPEAKER_02 50:05

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

And you're like, okay, well, and you sent the money, you put it in my bank, and yeah, um, and then I was like, and then I was like, Well, I don't have money, and then later I got the money, or I think I got the money before, and I was like, well No, it was after.

SPEAKER_04 50:18

I give you the money before you have the rest.

SPEAKER_01 50:20

Okay, and because you were really you were pushy. You were like, hey, you just take the money, take the money, and I'm like, okay, fine.

SPEAKER_04 50:26

Um at least I can keep the money. Well, I wouldn't have kept it. I wasn't that kind of person, but I I don't remember to be honest, I don't remember. I know I was praying for you a lot. But I don't remember if I was like, Oh, that you can find a ticket, because you I I I don't remember, but I'm assuming I did. I I I I was I was praying a lot. If it wasn't every n I don't know, it was it was a lot.

SPEAKER_01 50:49

So the funny thing here, we just said it went back a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 50:52

Okay, yeah, just go back, go back.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

Um no, it was probably around that time. So after this trip, yeah, it was after we met. It was after we met and got married, I believe. Um that or while we were dating at some point, that the missions director missions pastor after we got married. Yeah, he was the same one who I talked to about all the stuff that I mentioned before. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, he actually made new rules that people couldn't share at email addresses and phone numbers.

SPEAKER_02 51:27

Or emails.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

Our emails. Um and even the even the missionaries there said well, I don't want to say his name, but they they said, Hey Pastor.

SPEAKER_07 51:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:42

They said, um, I this is not your normal thing. Like this feels like this is of God, and I, you know, you can't stop God.

SPEAKER_04 51:51

Yeah. Because um you went to a church that it wasn't my church, they invite us.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

So well, I don't know if they thought maybe I was flirting with all the kids because with all the youth. Because I wrote back 11, but I had no intentions of getting married in Mexico or no, no, no, but but but they always and maybe maybe I was flirtatious. I was a kid. I I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 52:16

Maybe you were really shy of the well, I was I was really shy just to talk to you. I was intimidated. I was like, Okay, bold.

SPEAKER_01 52:24

I was just bold, and I had fun with them. Like they were joking, and it was they were fun. I had fun. Um, and so maybe maybe the pastor thought, oh, she's flirting, she's looking for a husband, and I was not. Um, but I can see where it could look where it cut could have looked like.

SPEAKER_04 52:42

Well, to protect, hey, we're protecting the kids that we're taking to another country. Yeah, but but the thing is, I was in one church, you were another country another church, you went to this church for the mission trip, and they invite me to play over there. So it it it was, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:57

It was crazy.

SPEAKER_04 52:59

I didn't orchestrate any of this.

SPEAKER_03 53:01

I wasn't playing um.

SPEAKER_01 53:02

If anything, I was going against it, and everybody else was going, do it, do it.

SPEAKER_04 53:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

So then December 26th rolls around. I'm on this flight. I am hyperventilating, I feel like I don't know having a panic attack or something. I was having a panic attack. Um, well, almost. I was like a borderline panic anxiety attack because I am like, what the heck am I doing? Um this is absolutely crazy. What am I doing? Um, but the whole time I I just kept praying to God. I mean, I was just being led by him and trusting him and really feeling like I was going how he was leading. And yeah, you know, you and I have talked like if this was our daughters, if our daughters are doing this, we'd be like, what the heck are you doing? Yes, yes, no, no, stop it.

SPEAKER_04 53:58

I'm going with you. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 54:01

Exactly. Yes, that that's um, but no, it just it didn't happen like that. Um, and so we just have I mean, just we just look back and know like God had plans for us to be together. And I always have said like he's got big plans for us, he's got big plans for us, and um, we're still waiting to see what those big plans are. I mean, we we've so far life has been pretty normal, sort of. If you call our life normal.

SPEAKER_02 54:29

I'm laughing at that. I don't know. Um I don't know, kind of normal.

SPEAKER_01 54:32

But we haven't we haven't made a big dent in the earth yet, so yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:37

That's true. That is true. But uh, oh man. Yeah, I l I love going back to memory lane and think about us.

SPEAKER_01 54:45

Yeah. So let's go a little bit more. We got we're gonna stop.

SPEAKER_04 54:50

I think we can stop here because then we can start. Well, bring the picture, maybe your list, yeah, yeah, yeah. And and we can start when we met again at the airport.

SPEAKER_05 55:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 55:03

Because uh because that's when we actually start talking for real and spending time together for real. I remember you called me one time before you you came to no, it was after. You called me after. Never mind. You called me after. I was so excited when you called me.

SPEAKER_05 55:19

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:20

But yeah, I think it's a good idea. It was actually before.

SPEAKER_05 55:22

It was actually.

SPEAKER_04 55:24

It was amazing when it was like, but yeah, I think it is a good a good uh stopping point. That's really good. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 55:33

Alright, so yeah, so that's the end uh for today, and we'll we'll pick up next time um with when we December 26th. December 26th, 1999. 1999. Yeah, when we spent we spend our first uh years new years together, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:54

10, 11 days, something like that. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 55:57

Alright.

SPEAKER_04 55:58

Perfect, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 55:59

Thank you, see you next time.