Marriage With a Mission #4 / Lauri’s visit to Mexico

Today you’ll learn about Lauri’s visit to Mexico to meet Joel’s family and how both Joel and Lauri experienced the time getting to know one another face to face. They have fun remembering the past and the awe of how it all happened. You’ll hear how Joel asked Lauri to marry him and why she said yes, even though they really hadn’t known each other very long.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, happy 4th of July. I hope everyone's celebration went well yesterday. We had a good time. So welcome to Marriage with the Mission with Joel and Laura Espinosa. Today I am going to tell you about my visit to meet Joel's family in December of 1999 and how that went for me. Joel will also share his feelings about my visit. We have so much fun today reminiscing as we continue to be in awe of all the details and the ways that God worked things out to put us together. You'll also hear how Joel asked me to marry him and why I said yes, even though we hadn't known each other very long. Last time when we left off, we were talking about how we I had just bought the plane tickets to go to Mexico. And I was gonna leave December 26th and come back January 2nd or 3rd. I meant to look that up, but I forgot. We actually have all of our old plane tickets. We have every email we ever yeah, we print everything. We printed everything, kept everything. We have we have files of that somewhere. Um I don't know where, but um but I think uh yeah, it's just really special, really special memories. Um so Joel, how did you feel when you found out I bought the tickets?

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Well I was really excited because it was like, wow, this is happening for real. After all this time thinking and praying is gonna happen. It's coming. And uh I was so excited, really, really excited, really happy. And I remember uh my daddy was more cautious. He told me, like, okay, don't get too excited, that's too much. But uh he's like, there are just two ways this is gonna happen, or this this can this can uh uh finished. That is you have a really good time together or really bad time together that you wish she she never came. So it's like so because I was all over yeah, so excited, and my dad's like, oh think about maybe this is not gonna work a little bit, maybe like, oh no, this is uh come back down to come back down. Maybe she's not the girl that you think she is, yeah, or maybe you don't like frijoles.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

I don't know, but that I was I was really excited, I was planning. Uh I remember it was it was man, I could not count the days, finish that semester at college and then get ready for you to come. Uh I remember you came 26th, and the 24th we celebrate Christmas with my family and everybody, and I was I was like, I just want Christmas to be over. I love Christmas, that's one of my my favorite holiday, but it's like now I really want to go the 26th. I believe the 26th it was on Sunday. Because we went to church and then we went to pick you up. Something like that, if I can if I remember right.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Well, for me, um, after I got those after I bought the tickets, I was like, okay, I went to my boss and I said, Hey, I'm gonna be leaving. Um I don't remember if I had talked to her about it before. Um it was likely that I did, but um, I said, Okay, I'm gonna be leaving. I don't want to miss out on any work. I I really need the money, I don't need to be, I did not have um extra money or savings or anything, so um I really needed all my hours. So I started working late and then getting in extra hours at work so I didn't miss getting paid. I was working late in the evenings, um, early in the mornings, on the weekends. I was trying to get in my extra hours, so and I actually worked um enough so that I could miss all those days. I worked a lot.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

And you told me that, but I didn't understand that. I didn't understand why you didn't like that.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

So um I feel like a little uh so let's see. Um a few days before traveling, um you it was like two days before I was about to leave. Yes and you asked for my itinerary and so I pulled it out. I had to email me this thing. I had seen this thing, I had um put it on your calendar, and everything, yes. Everything. And when I looked at that thing, it said January 5th.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

It's a returning returning, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

And I could not believe it. My jaw dropped. I I could not believe it. I'm like, this can't be happening. I I only I think it was January 3rd that I was supposed to return.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Yeah, you got an extra day or two days, something like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

I think it was like two extra days. Yes, and I couldn't believe it because I needed the work, I didn't need to be missing out on any work, and um, and plus, I mean, I hadn't even been working a year at the church at this time, and I felt all to get all those days off. Like, this makes me look terrible. Now I got two extra days, and I'm gonna come to her last minute. So I went to her and I just I'm like, I'm so, so sorry. I feel so bad. She goes, Don't worry about it. Fine, you can make up the time when you get back, no problem.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Yes, well, that was really that.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

I was so thankful, but I was like, what happened? I know this said January 3rd. I know it's a January 3rd.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

And when you put the tickets, you know the dates, you know the dates you want to.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

No, I looked at it. Yes, they had just changed, and I was like, I don't get it, but whatever. I maybe I was just too nervous and I didn't I know, but I know I saw January anyway. Um, so thankfully that my supervisor's understanding. Um, so I get on the plane and I am a mess. I am like about to have an anxiety attack. Um, I don't know, like I was just I was a mess. I was at the point of something not good. I because I was thinking, what am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Yeah, because the first time you were with all the group for the for the mission trip, and I was but you're by yourself.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

No, I'm by myself. Um, and I remember I sat next to this girl, her name was Natalia, and I always told you I wanted my our our first child to be Natalia just as a as a remembrance um of her uh because I was talking to her about I'm gonna meet this guy and yeah, really mean, you know, we just sent emails. So it was really fun. Her and I sat next to one another. It was nice to have her company. And but you always told me we cannot name our kid Natalia because that means Christmas that and our kids weren't worn close to Christmas, and I was so bummed, like, oh fine. So, but um, I don't think I ever told our daughters like you could have been Natalia.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

I we uh I remember my my clothes were so it was so hot because I was so nervous. Yeah, and um I wanted to take off my sweater, but I knew I was gonna I was all sweaty underneath, so I was like, I I was like, nope, I'm just gonna be burning up.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

I remember being really uncomfortable though when the way we got there, it was really cold, super cold and really windy.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

We went to the grocery store. Um, I remember we we went straight to the grocery store when we got there. We didn't go to your place. Yeah. Um, and so we went to the grocery store and your parents went in to get what they needed. You and I walked around, and that was not good for me because the wind was blowing really hard.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Really hard and really cold, yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Um and it was either that night or the next night I started to get sick. And I remember I got down on my face and I prayed hard because I could feel this was like a sinus affection coming on. When I would get this, when I would start feeling this in the past, like or whenever whenever I would be at home or and I would start feeling this, I was like, I'm gonna be out for a week. I know it. Um, I'm just gonna be in bed for a week because it wasn't good. Yes. And I started feeling that and I thought, I can't have my whole trip ruined by this. So I got down on my face and I prayed hard, and um I just God was the only one I could I could depend on right then, like to help me. And I blew I I it was like I had to be okay. Yes, and I woke up the next morning and I was totally fine, and I was like, that was a miracle. Like yes, yes, no, that was a true miracle, yes. You you healed me, like you healed, you did not like it's amazing. I was so thankful, and um yeah, my time there was more than special. My time in Mexico, more than special. I was treated like a princess the whole time. Um, your parents took good care of me, you took good care of me. Um I got to meet your family um on New Year's Eve. They came.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Yes, they came to my house. My my grandfather and my aunt and uncle and uh from both sides of the family, and uh we have a pinata outside, but we celebrate really late and you were really tired.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

I was like, what is going on? Well, yes, you all celebrate. You don't start celebrate, well, you celebrate midnight, and then you well it's it's New Year's, but we start right, but then you stay up, like you just keep. I was like, I'm used to going to bed now.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Yes, yes, yes. But we were it was really dark and cold outside when we hit the pinata. We have our big uh coats because uh he was yeah, well, I didn't take a coat, your mom gave me hers.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

One of hers, a big really big heavy coat, thankfully, because I had no idea it was gonna be that cold. You told me it was gonna be cold, and I was like, Yeah, he he doesn't know what cold is. Oh, you know what cold is. Yes, yeah. You knew. Um, yeah, because in the town where you live it's 8,000 feet above sea level, so it gets really cold. Really cold. Yes. Um, we each had our small little handheld dictionary because we could small, he was like big, thick.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

Yeah, it was it was thick. But we carry that all all the time for a long time. We had to.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

That was the only way we could con communicate. We're gonna give me a second, and then like uh yeah, yeah. Um, I didn't have the conjugations down, but I could give you a word here and there.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

We could get the yeah, word by word.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Yeah, we got the drift. If I said I needed to go to the bathroom, I'd look up the word bathroom, bathroom, bathroom. I'd say the word bano, bano. Oh, okay, okay. I didn't need to look up I need to go to Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Just give me what you okay. That's go, go, go. Yes, yes, yes, and thumbs up would I like it or not? And like, um, more or less.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Well, and one of the things that I noticed huge is your English had improved significantly since I since I had been there in April. Yeah. So from April to December, I mean you you you got on the ball.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

You were like, uh I need to communicate with you. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

You learned English really quick. You started paying attention in class.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

Yes. You got me, you got me. That's what you told me.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

I know, I started paying attention in class like before. Yes. Goofed off.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Yes, and then I start um at the university, they have like a uh language lab and they have movies with English subtitles. So I instead of Spanish subtitles. So I I look at the movie, even if I already watched that movie, but I was trying to under t there were I didn't watch the people, I was listening and looking at the words.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

So I was like, and I don't know how many movies I watched like that, but uh it was like, oh, that's what it means.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

I didn't know all the words what they were saying, but I was trying to understand that and yeah, paying attention, tr translating our or or emails and letters, so yeah, that's and um during our during our time there, I know we went yeah, we went around a lot of places, your parents and they showed me uh and your sister showed me a lot of a lot of like uh touristy places around. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Yes, yes, that's really good.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Um okay, and then also when we were there we ate at a restaurant one day with the missionaries, the ones who had um helped us.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Yeah, I remember I remember really good. You were talking, and I was like, I can understand a little bit if she's talking good about me or bad about me, but they're like, Oh, tell them how you felt though about going to the restaurant. Oh, I felt really bad. Well, because I know it was a nice restaurant. I drove by so many times and I never went inside the restaurant, and the thing is, is like, oh, money. How am I gonna pay for my and her food? I I have a little bit of money, so I didn't enjoy that much because in the back of my mind it was like what I'm gonna do, how I'm gonna pay for this. I don't have the money. Oh no, but she's gonna think, oh, this poor guy is like, oh, oh, I was like, yes, mm-hmm, okay. And it was like, oh no.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

So you didn't even enjoy it.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Yeah, you didn't enjoy themselves. But thankfully, the missionaries pay for the offered that, they were really nice. They're they're really nice. They are really sweet. They're really sweet and really nice. But I was like, what's relief is like I don't have enough money. I didn't know how much the food costs in that restaurant. So uh I usually ate at home, that's why.

unknown 13:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Now, do you remember? Did I go to your English class during that? I don't think I didn't English class.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

No, no, because we were on on break. When you came with your mom, that's when you well it was the way down the road, but uh, we can talk more about that later. Okay, okay, yeah, went to the English class. That that's that's coming, that's coming, that's a good one. Yes. Um, what about the fish? You we went to to eat truchas. And you are yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

So well, I want fish, I like fish.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

And I asked for quesadillas. And you asked for I just quesadillas and what were they?

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Mushroom quesadillas. Yes, and I loved mushrooms, but anyway, they brought out this fish like with the head and everything, and I'd never seen that before. And the tail is like, okay, and it just like and I remember it grossed me out. And the thing is, I went fishing a lot when I was little. I even watched my stepdad like cleaning clean the fish and fillet the fish, and that was all fine with me. But when you get it on your plate, I don't want to see a head and eye.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

It wasn't clean, it has the scales and everything.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

I don't want to see all that. I want it to be cleaned and it wasn't clean, it was like a talk for me, and you were like, Yeah, enjoy your fish, and you're like enjoying those. And I was like, I wanted those mushroom quesadillas so bad, but I was too embarrassed to ask. Yeah, so I just put a napkin over top of the face of the fish, and I think you all laughed at me a little bit. Yes. Because I couldn't eat it unless I covered up its property.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

Or the face for like I know that was that was choking, that was different.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Well, and you had an aunt and uncle who spoke English, which I was so thankful for.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

So thankful for they spoke English really well, yeah, way better than me because they work at school since I remember.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Yes. Um, and so I remember when they came and they started speaking to me in English, I was like, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yes, yes, because it was a a private bilingual school that they work for many, many years. Yeah, I I went like maybe one year or two in kindergarten, so that that's a little bit, but uh I know it was a relief for you. Oh, but what about when we came uh home and we start playing cards? That was really funny.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

I don't remember that.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Okay, so we my mom was fixing fixing food in the kitchen with my dad, I think, and my my sister, I don't know what she was doing, and then we were in the living room playing cards, and I look at you and I say Te quiero.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

And you look at me like Well, I looked it up, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yeah, I was like, That says I want you, and I was like, Okay, he's either he's gotta be joking. Please let him be joking.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

It was the first or second day when we just start talking, it's like, oh, let's play cards together, just to And I was like, he's he's joking.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

So I was like uncomfortable going to the colour. Yeah, but yeah, but okay, well, you want me all you want, but it's not happening, like nothing's happening with us.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Like, yeah, I know. So it's like, oh, okay. So I keep playing, like, well, maybe she didn't understand we were complaining.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Uh it wasn't until my mom said to you the same word. Oh, is that when it was?

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Yes, yeah. My mom can wait a minute. Yeah. And she said, Lori, take care.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

And I think, yeah, I figured it out eventually, and I was like, oh, it's like a way to say I love you, but not as it's more like between like and love, yeah. Yes, yes. Yes, have an affection for you. Um, yeah, yes. So it's like, oh, okay, okay. So that's it.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Yeah, you're more than a friend. Yeah, but I remember that was that was really, really interesting. It's like, oh.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

So wonderful visit, amazing. I couldn't have hoped for better. I was so shocked, like, how well everything went. Well, the day that I was supposed to go back, January 3rd, I'm pretty sure that was the day because I'm pretty sure it's January.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Because you weren't gonna go 10 days and then do a stand up, like it may stand up 11 or 12, something like that.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Well, whatever, something like that. Yeah, I don't know the numbers, but um, so the day I was supposed to leave January 3rd, I woke up that morning and I felt such a heavy um heaviness on me that I needed to tell you about my past.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Yeah, I remember space.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

Uh-huh. Because I had things that I was embarrassed about my past that I felt like if you knew them, you wouldn't like me. Because by this point I was really liking you. And I could and I could see you really liked me, and I thought this could go somewhere, but then I didn't I hadn't given it a whole lot of thought. But that morning when I woke up, I thought, oh no, it's not gonna go anywhere because he's gonna find out about my past. If he really knew who I if he really knew who I was, he wouldn't like me. Um he would reject me. And then I realized I just kept feeling like you've gotta tell him, you've gotta tell him. And I knew it was something that God had put on my heart um to tell you. And so I just um I just kept going back and forth, like, no, I'm not telling him that. No, I'm not telling him. And I just kept feeling like I had to tell you, but it didn't make any sense because I hadn't known you very long. Yeah, you just was so weird, and like this doesn't make any sense at all. Why do I feel like I've got to do why do I have to do this now? And so I just kept trying to push it away and it would not even go away a little bit. Like it just kept feeling stronger and stronger on the day. Yeah, no, I remember I got up that morning and um you had been you so Joel was sleeping um in the like family room on the couch. That was the TV room.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

The TV room.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

He was supposed to go to a friend's house and be there the whole time. We weren't gonna stay in the same house, but then the friend of the family, something happened.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Something happened. I I couldn't, but the bitch.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Joel couldn't go, and I was pretty upset about that. Like I was pretty upset about that. And I thought, well, I'm gonna be like on guard and lock my door at night because I didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Yeah, you weren't in a stranger's home.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

I was in a stranger's home, and then I found out the boy I was going to see was actually staying in that home, so it felt really uncomfortable at first, but over the days I realized it's fine, it's okay, I'm safe. The there they want to take care of me. Um, but I do remember being very peeved by that. Yes, because I was kind of stuck. I didn't really have a whole lot of options.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

You cannot go to a hotel or go to other places.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

And I wanted to do things right, I didn't want to do things wrong. I wanted to do things right, and I felt like, man, this isn't this isn't right. Anyway, it all worked out. So Joel slept out in the family room.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

Oh, and my back hurt all the time.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

That was sort of well, that was not a very comfortable couch. Sofa bed.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Yeah, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

It was so I and I got to sleep in your room. Um, so I got up in the morning, and normally when I would get up in the morning, I'd open the door, and you'd be there, you'd be there in the family room usually, and you would say hi to me, and I'd say hi to you. Um, well, I couldn't even look at you that I know I remember that.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

I still remember you walk from my bedroom through the hall and then go into the bathroom, and it was like and I had my head down head down, and I know you were so serious. So serious, I was like, Oh, what happened? Well, I thought everything was going great. Yeah, I thought I had a great time, and then hi, and you didn't look at me, look down, it was like I was a completely different person.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Completely different person, yeah. I had this such this heaviness in my heart that I had to tell you, and I was like, I'm gonna push it away, I'm gonna push it away, and I'm gonna push it away, it's gotta go away, it's gotta go away because I'm not doing that. Yeah, um, but then I just it just wouldn't go away, and it just got worse and worse and worse. So I told you, look, and I couldn't even look at you in the face. I said, There's something I've got to tell you, but I can't tell you here. Yeah, you go, Okay, that's okay. Let's go eat pastus.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Yes, and then we talk later. Okay, we'll talk later.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

We'll go to get past us and we'll talk there when we get there. And I was like, Okay, that sounds fine. So um, I don't even know if I even looked you in the face like the whole time.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

It was really awkward. Because I'm like, oh at least she likes me.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

You know, we had a great time all those ten days, and now it's like we have a huge fight, but we never no I couldn't say anything to you, I couldn't talk to you because of that. Yeah. So we went there, we ate together. Yeah. I was like, I still can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

Um you were really serious the whole time.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Okay, that's fine.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

And I know there was something in your mind, you were thinking and thinking and thinking, but it's like I was in suspense. Like, what's she gonna say? I honestly I was thinking too, is like, is she gonna say, Oh, it's not work, and bye, I'm done and I'm leaving, and I'm not gonna see you again.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Well, I had led you to believe, which I was a good Christian girl. But you, I and that it wasn't like I was trying to be false with you or anything, because I was a good Christian girl, but I wasn't always a good Christian girl. Um, I had made some mistakes in my life and and made some bad choices, poor choices when I was younger, and I was young at the time, but um, but when I was younger, and and I just thought you were you were gonna reject me because of that, because I saw you were a good guy, and I was like, this is a good guy. Like, he's not going to accept the my the bad choices that I made, or he he's potentially not going to. And um, and why would I even tell him? This doesn't even make any sense at all, you know. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. I was such a mess.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

And um, so we made it back to your your house after we went to go get blasted. We made it back, and I said, okay, you know, I gotta get this over with. Just whatever, just tell them. So I got my dictionary out. Yes. And I'm like trying to translate these things, and I'm telling you, I had these boyfriends, um, this is how I lived my life before, and I'm trying to translate this stuff. And um, and I thought, I don't know how this is gonna go. He's either gonna hate me or he's gonna, he's gonna be disgusted. I don't know. I don't know how, or is he just gonna be like, oh, okay, thanks, and you know, I I don't know what he's gonna do. I don't know what he's gonna do. So I tell you all this, and I look at you, what'd you do?

SPEAKER_02 24:18

I know that's such a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

In my heart for you. I just thought I knew I have no doubt in my heart.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

And you told me who you were before. Is it who you are now? Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

His blood is so powerful.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

And I said, Oh my goodness, yes, and yes, someone who could hear my deepest sins and and mistakes, and um someone who could hear that and still accept me and love me and see what God sees, sees me, the way God sees me, and and recognize that I'm not who I was, and um, oh my goodness, of course I'll marry you. Um, so that so the interesting part of all that is that's the day I was gonna leave. That's the day I was gonna get on the plane, yeah. Fly off. And I would have been gone by then, I would have been on the plane, yeah, and maybe even back home by then, I don't know, maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

Yeah, because he was in the afternoon.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

I took me all day to tell you.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Yes, I know.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Um, because I was like, well, this is this is definitely not leaving me, so it's gonna have to happen.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

And for me, I the day before, I remember I was talking to my brother-in-law, and uh I took him to his home. We spent the day together, and it's like this weird feeling.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

Uh like I never had this feeling before, and I I'm afraid of losing her. But how can he marry me?

SPEAKER_01 26:22

I had a lot of doubt, and it's like, but if I don't do it now, when so it is like this is my only chance, but I I already have all that, and I thought about it, and it was like, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 26:42

It's good, and then we talk, and then I felt so the interesting thing is, had you already been thinking about asking me to marry you?

SPEAKER_01 26:50

The day before.

SPEAKER_00 26:51

You thought about the day before.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

Yeah, because it's like I'm having a such a fun time. This is amazing, this is great. And it's like, oh sleeping.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

But did you give me a ring then when you asked me? No, you went one later. No, you gave me a ring before I left to go back, right?

SPEAKER_01 27:08

No.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

I thought you gave me that's when you gave me the little green ring. Oh, yeah, not the good one, but just the the little uh so I I brought it and we we can I mean I don't know how well you can see this shell.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Um well that's the shell that I gave you the engagement ring. I gave you the engagement ring.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

So that was uh the we bought this in a little mercado, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

So this is a little ring. Um oh that's right. I don't know if you actually gave this to me. I just put it on my finger. Like when I went back, I put it on my finger like an engagement ring. That's that's that's right. Yeah, you hadn't given me any engagement ring, and I was like, he asked me to marry him. I said yum and the song. Yes, yeah, and it's just a cute little ring, like yeah, yes, a cute little ring.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

It has no like value to it, but the value that oh the value it was in our hearts, and and and the promise that we we made to that.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

I gave myself a promise ring, that's funny.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

I didn't have any money, I was in school, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Um, so let's see.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Um and we found the picture, we're gonna put the picture and the list.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Oh, yeah, we found the picture from last time that we talked about. And I do have my list here. I'm not gonna put that on there because it felt a little vulnerable, but um, I will say that I wrote out a list of what I want and a husband. I had written that out February 3rd, 1999.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Oh wow, we made in April.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

And I went on the mission trip in April of 1999.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

And then to Mexico in December, 26th of 1999, the second trip. Okay, my second trip. Yeah, and um and the funny thing is, this is really interesting. I wrote February 3rd, 1999. I did that, and then I put, please bring my husband by the year 2000.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Really?

SPEAKER_00 29:03

I had forgotten about today.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

And so Wow.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

Okay, that's so I looked at that and I was like, Well, I guess I was very bold, God. All right, this is what I want, and give it to me by the year. I wasn't like rude about it, but I was like, God, I would this is what I would like. And that's what my friend had encouraged me to do. She said, write out a list and you know, just just be honest with God, be like totally honest, and um so I'm not gonna share everything on here, but one thing I put was someone who can relate to me, um, kind-hearted, understanding, full of holiness, has virtue. Um, let his name be like purified oil. Encourage, and then the one I put uh a star on was encourages me to follow my dreams. And you definitely encourage me to follow my dreams. So um, so that's that's pretty cool that I still have that same list that I wrote out all those years ago. Um, that I saved that.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

That's really beautiful. Really beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

So on the was it the third that you asked me to marry you, was it that evening that your dad had a talk with us?

SPEAKER_01 30:11

No, that wasn't the second basic day.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

The next basic when your mom no, he talked with us before he talked with us, Joel, before I I remember this before I went back. Okay, because I remember him saying, Look, you two, I know you want to be together. Um and so because your dad's very practical, and so he he was like, Um, you can make this happen, this can be possible, but he didn't know at the time that you would ask me to marry you already. But he he knew something, yeah, he knew something he knew my intentions in the way that because when I was telling them how I was feeling how what how well we got along and how wonderful, like and I told my parents how I was feeling about you before you Yeah, so I think they I think he just knew that because I was like, he doesn't know that Joel asked me to marry him. That's really interesting, and I couldn't understand everything that he said, but I understood a little bit. I could tell he was like being he was like, Yep, you know, this can be possible, and um and don't worry, or something like that. I didn't understand what he said, but I know what he was talking about. Yeah, he was just trying to be like, This can work out. Um, if this is God's plan, you know, it'll work out. Um, I'm surprised you didn't remember that.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

I think no, I remember that but when your mom came.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

No, because when my mom came, you you you asked me to marry you, like you were like you with the ring and everything. This time I remember it was away, we don't know. It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

Well the the it was the conversation happened, so let's keep talking about the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

Um all right, so yeah, you're so dad um is an elder at a church, and he's been an elder since I've known him, but he was at another you were at a different church than he is right now. Um, and so he was an elder at the church, and on occasion he would preach sermons.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

What were what was now I know where you're going. That is so good. That is so good. And and they they gave marriage counsel uh counsels and marriage marriage classes, yep, yep, yep. Uh like teaching with marriage and everything.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

Your dad had two main sermons he could always focus on every time that he would get up there.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

Well, the six sermons, but it was like uh guidelines, guidelines, guidelines, all right, and so one of them one of them was long relationships. Don't date for a long, long time. He's against that because many things can happen, things can happen, and blah blah blah. And the second one, long distance relationships.

SPEAKER_00 32:52

Yeah, don't do it. He said, Don't do not do it, yeah. I had never heard these sermon titles, I just heard the story after after.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

Yeah, that was his guidelines. Yes, yeah, no, don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Yeah, Joel's sister dated a long time before she got married.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

Yeah. And um And we have a long distance from that was kind of funny.

SPEAKER_00 33:16

That's funny before that. He would try and he's thought that was that just made sense. And so we're gonna, yeah, and then it turned out that both of his kids did. Yeah, it worked.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

What's your girlfriend staff? You thousand miles away in a different country. You know, take two planes to get there, it's a whole day, too. But it's my girlfriend.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

So I returned on the 5th early in the morning. Um, I was I was flying back and yeah, it was really sad.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

Let me go.

SPEAKER_00 33:49

It was really sad, yeah. So um, so I went back and I remember um you know, I got back and talked to friends, told people you asked me to marry you, and I said yes. I remember telling my mom, and um, and she said, I knew it, I knew you were gonna get married, I knew you were gonna come back engaged, and I was like, What? How did you know? Yes, I didn't know I was gonna come back engaged. Why didn't you tell me that?

SPEAKER_01 34:15

At least give me some hint. Hey, be careful, be ready. Maybe this is gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

They're like, No, no, no, so I was kind of I was shocked. I was like, What? You knew what? Yeah, because I didn't. I was like, I'm gonna tell her she's gonna say this is ridiculous, but no, no, she didn't.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

Your dad, too. Well, my dad was more reserved, but he was okay with it, I think.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

He wasn't that great with it, but he made up for it the rest of his like so far. Like he, I don't know, he apologized like a thousand times, probably too, yeah, yeah. Over and over and over and over. I I didn't know, but now I know, and he wasn't awful about it.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

Well, he didn't know, he just didn't know me at all.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

It was it was kind of scary for him. He was like, I won't last, don't worry. Yeah, and I was like, What? This is not gonna happen, you won't get married. Um, but then he came for the wedding and he loves you, he just loves you. He tells me all the time, I love Joel. He's a great man for you. You couldn't have chosen better. He is such a wonderful man, so he just doesn't have enough nice things to say about you. But um, yeah, it was it was kind of scary for him um at first. Um, so um, I do remember this. I remember having many doubts when I got back and thinking, is this really gonna happen? Should I marry this guy? Oh my goodness, what happened? This is weird. That was so weird. All that weird, yes, I don't get it.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

Um this was for real or no?

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Is this for real? Like, and and knowing it was real, but then going, Am I really gonna get married to someone in Mexico? How is that gonna work out?

SPEAKER_01 35:50

How that's gonna work. And I just thought about this. I don't know if you thought about it, but it's like maybe he did he trick me, he did all that sh as a show to get me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

I didn't I knew it wasn't a show, it felt real.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

Like it felt yeah, no, no, no, it was real, and my parents love you, my sister welcomed you too.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Yeah, it was it was legitimate. I I didn't doubt that, but I just I thought, how will this ever work out? I don't know. I know that all the things that I had loans, I had school loans I had to pay off. Yeah, I knew you couldn't get here. Oh, I did try to do the fiance visa. We tried to do that, that did not work out.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

No, no, I I didn't have I was in school. Yeah, I have I own my car.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

It was just gonna be way too complicated. But that it was too complicated. I didn't have money. You didn't have any, I didn't have money, I didn't have I would I rented a room in someone's house. Yeah, I had no savings, I had I had I leased my car, like I didn't even own my car.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

Okay, those two things that I didn't not know, did not understand student loans. I didn't know that existed. Yeah, and you were uh leasing a car, you're like I didn't I didn't know that now. Well remember, you sent me a picture that you have a Honda Civic, yeah, and I felt like a tiny ant. I'm like, oh, she has a really nice car. My car, it was I remember it was a Dutch 1986. Um and we were 99, so it was an older car. I take care of care of the car, I like it, but it's like, oh, I think she has like a 90 something.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

I think I got a 98.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

98 or 97, something like that. No, but it's like, oh, how can I not impress you, but how can I compare it's like look what can I give her? Yes, she has thank you, thank you. That's the work. What can I give her?

SPEAKER_00 37:53

It's like you didn't know I didn't know anything of it.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

No, and then the student loans is like, what? Okay, well, yeah, they compare between the US and Mexico, the schools are different, prices are different, but uh you pay when you go to school. Yeah, but yeah, so that was interesting. It's like, oh, now I get it.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

Yeah, so I mean, we we were both. Um, I remember you saying you also doubted and you would you would go and pray with your mom.

SPEAKER_01 38:22

Yeah, I pray a lot because it was honestly it was like a dream.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

This is real is this real?

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Because if you ask anybody else, it's like, yeah, that's crazy, that's not gonna happen. Because what are the odds for this to happen? What are the odds? You know, and we need to do the math, yeah. But uh, my friends at uh church, my friends at college or school, they told me, like, come on, really, are you that yeah, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

No, and you got made fun of a lot too. Oh yeah, people were like, There's not they he's ridiculous, like he is not gonna marry some girl from the United States.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

No, no, no, no. And uh, I remember when you left and my in January my next semester start. Uh, before when I went to since high school, I like you know, heavy metal rock bands, Christian, okay. Uh, and I make big uh copies in color photocopies for the albums, and I put on all my notebooks since since high school. So I have all this cool, I know, okay, this is gonna be White Cross is gonna be for chemistry, and Petra is gonna be for math. So I know all my notebooks with all the really cool uh uh albums. Guardian is gonna be for for uh physics, whatever it is, but I have all the really cool uh notebooks. That was my uh I was the only one doing all that stuff. And then in January, what do I have in on my notebooks? Pictures of you and me and it's like if I don't do that, I I need to remember what what we did and how special and keep dreaming. And people were making fun of me, they're looking at my notebooks and notebooks, and it's like keep dreaming, keep dreaming, but that's not gonna, she's not coming back. How can you go over there? Like, huh?

unknown 40:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

Well, and we we you know, you you were yeah, anyway, we didn't do we doing anything illegal was just not okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

No, it wasn't in my in my life.

SPEAKER_00 40:28

We wanted to do things if we were gonna do it, we're gonna do it right. Um, I do know some people do cross many people cross the border illegally. Um, and maybe it's for a better life, but you had a good life. You had a good life in Mexico.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

Yeah, I love my parents. I was happy at course. No.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

Um I do understand though there are some people who are really desperate. So I don't I don't um want anybody to feel bad or make anybody feel less than. But for us, it did that didn't make sense. We loved each other, but we're not gonna that that wasn't yeah, that didn't make any sense. We we were we were gonna do it, we're gonna do it right.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

Um and we did it right.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

And we did it right. Um we uh not easy. No, no. So I think um yeah, I I mean maybe we should finish, we should kind of end there.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

Um I I think um with regarding the doubt, because several people told me that's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen. Uh like I said, a church and uh um what to call that at school and my friends because that was that wasn't something normal. Yeah. What we were what I was aiming, it was for the stars, not the moon, go way back to a different galaxy. But um I yeah, I remember other in other places when we went and play because remember we recorded a little city and we were different churches playing all over all over central Mexico. And uh and I remember people for other bands because a lot of people they came to us and talked, and it's like, you're not gonna last, you're gonna find another girl that you're gonna like and then you're gonna forget about her. It's like oh, I don't think that's that's the I don't know. And there was a lot of doubt and not pressure, but nobody encouraged me. No, and uh and and and that is something that uh it was just between us and God to see possible.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

Well, and I didn't say anything to a lot of people either. I didn't even tell on some people that I wasn't that close to, but I knew like I knew them, like I we did things together because I was in the singles group, and um I know some people didn't even know I got married um until we moved back. Um got engaged while I mean, no, got married. Oh some people didn't even know, like some people would be asking Oh, where is Lori?

SPEAKER_01 43:08

Where's Lori?

SPEAKER_00 43:09

Have you heard where Lori is? I haven't I haven't seen her for a while. Oh, yeah, she's living in Mexico now, married, and they're like, What?

SPEAKER_01 43:17

Oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:20

Because it just seems so unreal. Like, is this really gonna happen? I told the closest people who were closest to me, but I didn't broadcast it because it seemed so yeah awkward and like, is this really gonna happen? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:36

But yeah, so next time.

SPEAKER_01 43:37

Oh, did you have no no no I was I was gonna say the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

We're gonna discuss and talk about um planning our wedding and getting married. And your when your mom came to visit when my mom came to visit, um and uh well went to visit, and um so well, that's where we're gonna pick up next time.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Okay, we want to show you some pictures. This is the picture that I took of Lori. She didn't know I took that picture until she saw it on my photo album. And I said, Ah, funny story. I put my camera on my side and tried to aim at you, and I took a picture, and this is what I got. That was the only picture that I have of her for a long time. Now, the other picture that's when she came and visited us, my family, that's my uh parents' house, and we were eating breakfast together, so that was really special for us. Now, the other picture is when we went to the eat the fish and the trout farm. That's that's where they raise all the fish, and it's a really pretty place. It's kind of tourist. A lot of people go over there, fish, and they pick their own fish and they cook it right there on the spot. Now the next picture is the lake that is next to the farm. So we are over there on the lake, and I remember we were in a boat and we were on that area for a long time. We spent all afternoon over there. And the last picture is when we're uh we're eating the fish. You don't see the fish in that picture, but that's the restaurant that we were eating and enjoying the fish. I don't know if it was enjoying too much, but I was enjoying the quesadillas. Thank you.