EPISODE 2: DATING HORROR STORIES

This weeks episode is all about Kait's Dating Horror stories!

Hopefully it doesn't get taken down

Definitely NOT for little ears!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

We really be out here do podcast would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we gather today, the Darug people of Darug Country. I pay my respects to elders past, present, and emerging. Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. Yo, welcome to We Really Be Out Here Doe Podcast. I'm your host, Kate. I'm gonna start off this podcast episode by talking about the week that I have had. And so this past week I had to cancel my trip to Thailand, which absolutely broke my heart. Um, but I think it was for the best. I had um all of the care arrangements uh for my children fall through. Um then I had uh a backup plan made and it was looking pretty solid. The person who I was gonna go with ended up being in a really bad situation um that she couldn't get out of, and it just the timing was just not lining up. So the the trip ended up having to be cancelled, uh uh which was a big hit to the pocket, uh a big hit to my um joy, I guess you could say. It was really sad. I definitely shed tears over it, I'm not gonna lie. I was just so looking forward to just having a week of like being able to sleep through the night. Um, you know, and um because I've been so sleep deprived, I really struggle with sleep. My my children wake up multiple times through the night. It's been like that for years. Um, with zero help. Uh so yeah, I I desperately needed that respite, I guess you could say. Um, and I was also looking forward to just like you know, having some chill time and you know, going and seeing you know, Thailand, the little monkeys and things like that. But yeah, things happen, there's nothing you can do about it. Um, so that was probably like a low point of this last week. Um but you know, I was able to book in some day sessions, I was able to um like I've got like a really decent support worker now who can watch my kids, so I haven't had to rely on my baby daddy or whatever, ex-baby daddy to watch my kids. So that's been really good being able to work and um get stuff done. And yeah, I was able to also like organize um for my son to get his um iron infusion wear on like a wait list thing to get it done, but like I got all of that organized, so that was really good as well. Um, so it's been productive, I guess you could say. And yeah, other than that, um I've had like a lot of friends reach out um to hang out and things like that, which has been really lovely. I got a lot of feedback from my my first podcast episode that I released last week, and some of the messages made me cry, bruh. Like the the things you guys were saying to me, like about me being an an inspiration, or you know, that you're rooting for me, or you think that um it's you know the podcast sounds professional even though it's in its you know early days, you know, baby era. So yeah, that really meant a lot to me. And like seeing where people were listening to the podcast too blew my mind. Um literally it's gone global. Um, yeah, it's just fucking crazy. Even seeing it like on Apple and um Spotify, like I'm like uh pinching myself. I'm like, I can't believe this is happening, because yeah, I really enjoy it and um yeah, it's incredible. So yeah, I suppose, you know, if you have a dream, go for it because you got nothing to lose, you know what I mean? But yeah, so that's basically my week summed up, and um, I hope you all had a great week and yeah, let's jump into this week's episode. It's going to be all about dating horror stories. I hope you guys enjoy it. Um, if I mentioned you, if you're listening to the podcast and you're like, hang on a minute, that's about me. I'm so fucking sorry. No hard feelings, guys. Please, no hard feelings. Um these dates also were before I came out of the closet as lesbian, so just keep that in mind. Alright. So this week's episode on the pod is about dating horror stories. Um, there are so many, but um I've tried to accumulate um I suppose the most horrifying. Um okay, so coming in hot fucking hell. Alright, we'll start off with um so I I had just come out of a really horrible two-year relationship with with a guy who was um an avoidant, and um yeah, it was just horrible. It was a one-sided relationship with me doing all the work and getting nothing back, basically. It's the way it was. But anyway, so after I got out of that relationship, and this was before I met my baby daddy, um, my ex-baby daddy, I um in my head, I was like, I'm dating to to find someone to have kids with, basically. That was the goal. Um, I was open to girls or guys, um, like I was happy to go down the IVF route, like with with women as well. Um so what I did was I was like, who's the who's the hottest chick or whatever that that I've ever met or whatever or ever known? Um and two girls came to mind, right? One was my ex's ex. She was like a a biker looking chick, like long black hair, you know, was wearing like was always like in the you know, the leather shorts with like the leather bikini top and boots and like just a bad bitch type of a thing. I was like, I've got nothing to lose. I'm gonna ask this chick on a date. So I asked her on a date. Um, we went out, we went like um bar hopping or whatever, and um we were playing pool, and she was really good at playing pool and everything, and um we were just having like a ball overnight, really. Um she ended up letting me know though that her occupation was she was a dominatrix, which for me was a shock to hear, I guess, but I was like interesting. Um I asked her to tell me about her line of work and and whatever, and she told me that she I don't know if I can even say this, but you guys are gonna hear it anyway. She told me like she pegs guys for a living, right? I was like, bruh. The thought of that makes me wanna vomit. Um, but I was trying to look past it and I was like, okay, like, you know, that's her occupation, like, whatever. Um, start talking to her about like whether or not she was open to having children. Um, she made it very clear that she was not. She said if anything, she would want to adopt a kid, um, and whatever, like who came from, like her hard home, and everything. So that that was fair and whatever, but like in my head, I was like, okay, like our goals aren't aligning, like, it's probably not gonna work. Um then she let a bombshell drop that she had done stuff to her stepsister growing up, and that's where I had to close the door. That's where I was like, okay, hanging up my coat now, and I'm gonna have to exit the building type of thing. So that was one. Then the other hottest chick I could think of that I had asked on a date, um, she she said yes to going on a date. I was like, oh my god, like okay, perfect. Went to take this chick on a date, and um, I really wanted to get her a big bunch of roses, like flowers, but then I was like, oh, we're going to like a bar. I think we're going bar hopping or something, I can't remember. Um, and I was like, you know, it's gonna be awkward for her to carry around these roses. So I ended up deciding against it because I didn't want to make the night like uncomfortable or whatever, like with her having to carry around flowers or whatever. So I was like, oh, save it for the second date, whatever. Let her know, you know, my goals, you know, like that. I was looking to, you know, have kids soon and whatever. She's she was ticking all the boxes, she seemed like she was like good mum material, good partner material, everything, everything was going really well. Um but uh her friends also came along with us, and um anyway, we were drinking and whatever, um, talking and having a really good time, but she ended up sitting on this person, like one of her friends' laps, facing them, holding their face and being like, I love you, I love you so much, and whatever. And because it was our first date, it kind of made me go like um yeah, like I don't think this is gonna be the mother of my children type of type of thing. So the date ended there, but I will say, um, you know, I've had my kids now. This girl was really beautiful and and whatever, and you know, we kept in touch and everything, and I've got nothing against her. It was just like funny at that stage in my life of like what I wanted and what what was happening type of thing. So that wasn't too bad, but yeah. Um, then um next on the list, oh god, this is a doozy. So I was in a band with with this guy briefly, and I always like when I used to date guys, which I don't anymore, I'm a lesbian, but when I used to date guys, um I only used to be attracted to basically um guys with long hair. And then bonus points if they had nice coloured eyes, like unusual coloured eyes, and bonus points if they were tanned, right? Anyway, um this guy that I was in the band with or whatever was the opposite of that. But um, and so yeah, he was just never on my radar, but he hit me up for a date, and he he said to me, you know, I've got my own place, I want to have four kids, which for me, I was like tick tick. At that point, my eyes were on the prize of having children, so that was music to my ears. He said to me, you know, uh it's kind of like a um a guy kind of a pad my place, and um, it really needs a woman's touch. And you know, he said like he worked for an airport airline type of thing, so he said like he gets like really cheap flights to go places. I think he even invited me to go on an overseas trip with him in a in a few weeks' time and whatever, and I was like, this is music to my ears, bruh. I was like, I'm gonna give this guy a chance because even though he wasn't my type, he was ticking a lot of the other boxes, and on top of that, he had like a nice accent, and he also um he wasn't bad looking, okay? I'll put that out there. Wasn't bad looking. Um, so I was like, okay, I think I think this could happen, whatever. I ended up having like an open day at a childcare center that I was running. I think I was um the assistant director at that point. Um and he came along to that and he brought me a coffee, which I thought that was really lovely, and that was like ticking boxes for me too, because I'm like, he's showing up, that's effort, that's respect. You know what I mean? Anyway, then he was like, Oh, you know, do you want to come and check out my place? Like, it's not too far from here, and I was like, all right, bet, let's go check out your place. Like, nothing was gonna happen, but I was like, Yeah, I'm keen to see your place. Walk in, it's definitely a a you know, what do you call it? Like a boys' den type of a thing. It was like there was a punching bag hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the lounge room, um, zero home decor stuff, like it was just no, yeah. I get I couldn't understand what he meant by like this place needed a female touch. Then I look at his fridge, and there are punch marks on the fridge. So alarm bells are going off in my head, and I'm like, get me the fuck out of here, ASAP. Um, and I say to him, Oh, and I point to the fridge and he goes, Oh yeah, you know, but um I've got a bit of anger issues, but that's why I've got the punching bag there. Now I don't have to punch my fridge. I was like, oh cool. Oh, I'm I really gotta go, like, you know, whatever, made an excuse and I left. I was gonna block him, but then I was like, No, you know, he deserves like an explanation. So I sent him a message and I said, Look, just letting you know, um the the fridge has put me off. And then he goes, Oh, I'm getting a new fridge. I'm like, that's not the point, Brads. The point is I don't want to be that fridge one day when you're angry. So I had to close the chapter on on that situation. Um, another one, let's go down the list. Fucking hell. Um, okay, this guy. Um, this was like so many years ago, um, way before even that two-year relationship that was not good. Anyway, this guy I really looked up to. He was um a guy that I had on a pedestal. He was a bit of a bit of a celebrity, I guess you could say. And um, I had a big crush on him, and and um I asked him on a date, I think. Yeah, I did. I asked him on a date. I've always been a pursuer. Anyway, he said yes. I'm like, okay, sweet. I meet up with him straight off the bat, and this is no fault of his own. He looked like my cousin. So I was like, nothing's gonna come of this. He looks exactly like my fucking cousin, and it's putting me the fuck off. So I was like, this date needs to end immediately. Um, we were gonna go and sit at a cafe, I think, was the plan. And he ended up saying he wanted to quickly pop into his place to brush his teeth. And I was like, okay, you know, whatever. Go go to his place, he's gone to brush his teeth, whatever. And then he asked me if I want a coffee, and I was like, Yes, please, like, that'd be nice. He goes to make me a coffee, like, um, on the stove, and um he he says, I I think I said to him, like, I have soy milk, and straight away he's like, You shouldn't have soy milk, that's not good for women, like whatever. So I'm like, okay. So on top of him looking like my cousin is also controlling. So I was like, Okay, anyway. While he's boiling this coffee, I could not get out of there fast enough. I literally was like, I think I was messaging my sister, and I'm like, help a sister out, like, I need you to like make up an excuse so I can get the fuck out of here. I think she ended up calling me and saying like it was an emergency or something, and then I was like, I gotta go, like whatever. The the date never never happened. Um, which that that one didn't go too bad, and really it wasn't the guy's fault, but I mean it was a horror story in my in my mind at the time. I was in final flight mode to say the least. Next, um, so I had a family member who was on a um a cruise for a holiday, um, and they met a group of people on the cruise. In this group was um this guy, and he had long hair and had tanned skin, and at the time that was my type in guys. So this family member was like, Hey, this this guy is here and he's your type. I think you'd really like him, and he's really lovely. He's here with his family, he's a good person, whatever. Um, you know, I'm I'm talking you up to him and whatever, and I hope you know something happens or whatever. Anyway, then they're telling me that they're saying to this guy, you know, oh, like Kate, she's like so lovely and and kind and gentle, and like she's really good with animals and children, and she's got a really good paying job, and like blah blah blah, just talking me up, talking me up, right? And um, this guy's like, Oh, she sounds like an angel sent from heaven. Can I see a photo? Sends shows Tim the photo, and he's like, She's exactly my type, like whatever. Apparently, he was in love, right? So then I get a love letter from him, and it's literally like I think it was three or four pages long, and it was the most detailed thing, and it was the most beautiful letter I had ever, ever read. And I had just gotten out of that really bad two-year relationship uh where I was doing all the work. So to receive this detailed love letter, like my heart was like, I was swept off of my feet. I was like, bruh, like romance is like a big thing to me. So it meant a lot, and um, one of my love languages is words of affirmation, so it was just music to my ears. I was like, I'm gonna give this guy a chance, right? He flies over to see me, and we hit it off, we like the same music, we're having a great time, whatever. Anyway, fast forward, um, he ends up finding out at the time I was identifying as bisexual. And if I could have shown you the look on his face when he found out I was bisexual, it was like I had just told him I was a child predator, and he was completely off me at that point, and he had also mentioned that he didn't like my laugh, which I'm like, you don't like my laugh? Like, I've had people in the past make comments about my laugh sounding like Elmo and stuff like that, or the Joker, but fucking hell. My ex-baby daddy used to say that if he ever got the role of a like the Joker in a movie, that he would do my laugh. So I don't know if that means I have an evil laugh or a baby laugh. If it's some people say it's like Elmo. I've got no idea. I've got it, I've got a complex about it now. Anyway, um, yeah, he said he didn't like my laugh, bruh. So that relationship was also done. Um those are probably the top horror stories. Um, the other ones I ended up dating, um, which were horror stories in themselves sometimes, but I mean one of them started off really bad, but then ended up being the best relationship of my life for seven years. So I might actually get into that as well. So I was 17 years old, and I snuck into a club called Trash in Sydney. And to do that, you had to like uh basically go to the McDonald's that was close to trash and sit there, wait for people who were leaving, and then copy the stamp off of their wrist onto your wrist with a textile, and then get in. That's how I that's how I snuck in, right? So I got into this club, I think it was the first time I'd ever done it as well. I get into the club, you know, just walk in with a group of people, flash my wrist to them, they think, oh yeah, yeah, she's come through, whatever. Got into the club, straight away noticed this guy, and I'm like, holy shit, pointed him out, and I'm like, that's gonna be my boyfriend. I was so attracted to him. He looked like Dean Geyer. Um, yeah, I just thought he was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I was like, yep, I'm going for him. Anyway, I think I approached him and you know, we hit it off, whatever, and you know, we had a fun night and everything, like just at the club, like dancing and like whatever. Um he I ended up finding out he gave me a fake name, and he also gave me a fake name, so he would call me Chris, and he ended up calling me Chris for like years. I don't know why. Then um afterwards, um I ended up finding him on MySpace. That's how long ago it was, right? And in his display picture, he was with a girl, it was like a clubbing photo, and um, which that should have been like a red flag or whatever, but anyway, then we organized like um dates, and uh um I ended up finding out that he was a player and he basically was open to me about um that he liked me, but that he he also was um seeing someone else and that he wanted variety in his basket, and he ended up turning his phone off one night um for the whole night, and I knew he was with this other girl, and my heart was shattered, bruh, and I was like, I'm so done, like whatever, like I can't believe he did that to me, whatever. Me and that girl are like friends now, by the way. But anyway, um so then we ended up having like I guess you could say like an off and on situationship for a year where he was just playing with my heart and not taking me seriously and leading me on, and then you know, it was it was a nightmare, but then one day he just ended up completely changing and um oh yeah, that's right, because I cut it off with him to date this other guy, and I dated this other guy for two years, and then I ended up getting an email from him one day, and um he'd said to me that he had tried dating other girls that looked like me, and that he missed me, and he saw that I had moved on, and that I looked really happy, and you know, basically said that like if I ever wanted to reach out to him, he's got feelings for me. When I got that email, because the relationship I was in was not good, I was like, this relationship is done. I dumped that guy and I dated him. He took me on the most romantic first date ever. He got like um, yeah, it was just such a romantic first date. Um, I won't go into the details though, because I'm gonna steal his idea and use it on a girl. Um, but anyway, and we ended up dating for seven years, and it was the best relationship of my life. He never yelled at me once the whole time. He had me on a pedestal, he treated me like a queen. Um, and the only reason that relationship ended was because I wanted to get married and have kids, and he said, I'll be with you forever, but I don't want to get married and I don't want to have kids. So the relationship ended, which was really sad. Um, but I'm a lesbian now anyway, so you know, bygones. But you know, so I guess it's weird because that was like dating horrors from hell, but then it ended up turning out good, I guess you could say. Uh, I don't know what my point of that was, and I feel like I'm like Abraham Simpson talking about the clouds at the moment. But that's this week's episode. I hope you guys liked it. Um send me a DM if you had a listen to this and give me any feedback you have. Like, I really appreciated last week getting your guys' DMs and that. And if you want to give it a five star rating on Apple, I would so appreciate that as well. Um, I'll catch you guys next week. Bye.