WEBVTT 00:00:00.479 --> 00:00:03.120 Now listen, take your phone, take your app. 00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:11.359 The outline is on the phone, on your iPad, on your computer, on your TV. 00:00:11.519 --> 00:00:13.759 I know a lot of people throw it up on the TV. 00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:19.920 And I want you to turn with me this morning to 1 Corinthians chapter 13. 00:00:20.320 --> 00:00:31.039 And also Galatians chapter 5 is going to be the home base of where we get the messages each and every Sunday. 00:00:31.359 --> 00:00:49.439 And in Galatians 5, 22 and 23 it says, but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, meekness, temperance, against such there's nothing to compare with. 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:53.840 I mean, we see nine characteristics of one fruit. 00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:57.039 Now, it's one fruit and nine characteristics. 00:00:57.200 --> 00:01:00.320 And notice the first fruit is love. 00:01:00.479 --> 00:01:02.880 And that's what we're going to be looking at this morning. 00:01:03.119 --> 00:01:08.560 In fact, we're going to be looking at in this new series that fruit remains. 00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:15.280 We're going to be looking at the, I think, the foundation of all the other characteristics, and that's love. 00:01:15.439 --> 00:01:19.040 If we get this one right, we get them all right. 00:01:19.359 --> 00:01:22.239 But we have to get love right first. 00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:32.640 You know, I was looking at a little kid's book this past week, and it was titled, Love is Like a Color Crayon, like a crayon. 00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:35.760 And it says, because it comes in all colors. 00:01:36.079 --> 00:01:40.959 And I brought up a couple of statements out of that little book that I thought you would enjoy. 00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:48.319 First of all, the statement was from Susan, age nine, and here's what she said. 00:01:48.959 --> 00:01:52.560 Susan was asked, how do you get someone to fall in love with you? 00:01:52.879 --> 00:01:57.120 And she said, Shake your hips and hope for the best. 00:01:57.920 --> 00:01:59.280 Oh, Lord help us. 00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:05.359 And then also Tammy, age 10, was asked. 00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:14.159 And Tammy was asked, and they asked Tammy about kissing, and she said, It's never okay to kiss a boy because they slobber all over you. 00:02:14.240 --> 00:02:17.759 And me raising two girls, I said, hallelujah on that. 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:36.000 And then there was a little boy named Bob, age nine, in this little book, and he must have been a Nashville boy or enjoyed country music because he was asked, the little nine-year-old Bob was asked, he says, Do you have any original love songs? 00:02:36.159 --> 00:02:38.240 He said, Oh, yes, I do. 00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:40.400 And he said, here's the title. 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:45.840 I'm in love with you most of the time, but don't bother me when I'm with my friends. 00:02:46.800 --> 00:02:51.039 So these are some quotes from children about love. 00:02:51.599 --> 00:03:01.759 But I've discovered that love really has many, many, many uh, should I say, true effects on our lives. 00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:06.639 In fact, what I've learned love brings broken hearts. 00:03:06.960 --> 00:03:17.199 I meant, I know in my first puppy love as a teenager in high school, I had my heart broken by a cheerleader. 00:03:17.280 --> 00:03:19.360 I'll never forget it as long as I live. 00:03:19.599 --> 00:03:21.439 I mean, she broke my heart. 00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:29.520 I also know love produces goosebumps, loss of appetite, starry eyes. 00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:35.919 It inspires some to die, for others, it, hey, kills. 00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:38.639 I mean, that's what love really is. 00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:46.639 There was a famous song when I was growing up that was called Love is What Makes the World Go Around. 00:03:46.800 --> 00:03:51.759 But I've got news for you, it also brings a lot of confusion during that process. 00:03:52.319 --> 00:03:57.919 So today, we want to look at what true biblical love is. 00:03:58.319 --> 00:04:02.560 In fact, there's really four definitions of love in the Bible. 00:04:02.639 --> 00:04:12.400 Now, I'm not going to get in this as another message, but really, first of all, there's the Eros love, and that's the physical romantic type of love. 00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:21.839 Then there's the storjay love, and that's the family love, that parent-child relationship, that brother and sister relationship. 00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:31.839 And then there's the phileo love, that's that brotherly love that we have with our church families, you know, and with our brotherhood kind of love. 00:04:32.079 --> 00:04:40.639 And then there's the agape love, and that is God's divine love, unconditional love, true biblical love. 00:04:40.720 --> 00:04:47.920 And that's the same love, that agape love that Jesus said in John 13, 34, 35, a new commandment I give unto you. 00:04:48.079 --> 00:04:55.920 A new commandment being from the Old Testament type of love, which was the brotherly love, the Storjay love, and the Eros love. 00:04:56.079 --> 00:04:57.120 But he added another one. 00:04:57.279 --> 00:05:03.279 And he said, Now I want to take you to the next level, and that's that agape love, that unconditional love. 00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:05.360 And he says, A new commandment I give unto you. 00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:12.480 Now watch, that you love one another as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:16.879 And by this shall all men know that you're my disciples. 00:05:17.040 --> 00:05:25.519 Now that's a tremendous, tremendous exhortation and encouragement for us to love like Christ loves. 00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:29.040 So that's the love we're going to be talking about this morning. 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:32.480 Now, there's two misconceptions about this type of love. 00:05:32.639 --> 00:05:35.600 If you get ready to fill in your blanks. 00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:39.279 First of all, that love is only a feeling. 00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:42.079 That love is only a feeling. 00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:54.480 In fact, a lot of us think love is this romantic, emotional type of feeling that we get when we fall into love. 00:05:54.639 --> 00:05:59.519 It's that, I've had people say it's those butterflies in your stomach. 00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:02.399 It's those knots in your stomach. 00:06:02.560 --> 00:06:04.879 It's that physical feeling that you have. 00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:07.519 We're always searching for that feeling. 00:06:07.680 --> 00:06:13.600 In fact, a lot of people fall into love and they fall out of love because it's an emotional love. 00:06:14.639 --> 00:06:20.800 You can't, hey, listen, when it's an emotional love, you can fall into love and you can fall out of love. 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:25.040 But that's not the kind of love the Word of God teaches us. 00:06:25.519 --> 00:06:31.360 Because what we know is love is more than an emotional feeling. 00:06:31.600 --> 00:06:33.279 In fact, let me tell you what love is. 00:06:33.519 --> 00:06:36.319 Love is a fact, it's a choice. 00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:45.519 And then, second misconception, not only is love is only a feeling, is a misconception, but number two, love is uncontrollable. 00:06:46.079 --> 00:06:47.600 Love is uncontrollable. 00:06:47.839 --> 00:06:53.519 When people talk about being in love, they say, I feel giddy, or my head's spinning. 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:59.680 There used to be an old song, Steve, about my head spinning and the love is spinning. 00:06:59.839 --> 00:07:03.680 I can't remember who wrote that one, but I can remember it. 00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:06.639 And and uh I'm weak in my knees. 00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:12.879 I think about some of the songs back in my years of the 60s. 00:07:13.120 --> 00:07:21.360 One of my favorite songs, in fact, when I call my wife, this song comes up on her phone, My Girl by the Temptations. 00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:23.360 That was one of my favorites. 00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:27.360 I I danced at my wedding with Susan with my girl. 00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:30.639 I danced with my girls' weddings with my girl. 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:32.079 But there was another one. 00:07:32.240 --> 00:07:37.199 When you call my phone, I've loved the four tops. 00:07:37.439 --> 00:07:41.199 And the title of that song is Ain't No Woman Like the One I Got. 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:43.600 Amen, amen. 00:07:44.319 --> 00:07:46.639 Ain't no woman like the one I got. 00:07:47.439 --> 00:07:50.240 And then there was the Supremes. 00:07:50.639 --> 00:07:54.319 Ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from you, babe. 00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:56.240 So now let me say something. 00:07:56.399 --> 00:07:58.240 Those songs had content. 00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:00.319 Can I get an amen out there? 00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:02.959 I'm sure I got a lot of amens on that. 00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:15.199 But anyway, these were these romantic songs that we all would relate to immediately the relationship we had going on during those times. 00:08:15.360 --> 00:08:27.360 And and so what I'm trying to say is, and I really believe this, that love is certainly, hey, not uncontrollable. 00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:29.199 It is controllable. 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:33.200 It's more than a feeling, and it's important that we understand that. 00:08:33.360 --> 00:08:35.039 In fact, somebody made this statement. 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:40.399 They said, we need a higher quality of love in America today. 00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:41.840 Hallelujah. 00:08:42.080 --> 00:08:46.159 We need the real love in America today. 00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:48.960 Because uh Tim Lahaye made this statement. 00:08:49.039 --> 00:08:56.799 He says, puppy love does not last through the dog days of life, the growing up days of life. 00:08:56.879 --> 00:08:58.159 Is that not true? 00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:06.720 In fact, uh I want love that's going to last longer than a two-hour movie or a 250-page novel. 00:09:06.879 --> 00:09:08.080 Can I get an amen? 00:09:08.240 --> 00:09:08.799 Amen. 00:09:08.960 --> 00:09:10.559 Especially Hallmark Channel. 00:09:10.639 --> 00:09:14.399 Now, I hey, don't all the ladies are throwing stones at me now. 00:09:14.480 --> 00:09:17.600 No, I love the Hallmark Channel. 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:27.200 I just can't take a whole lot of it because it's the same plot, the same story, boy meets girl, girl meets boy. 00:09:27.440 --> 00:09:35.120 You know, when they just come out of bad relationships and they they they fall into love and they live happily ever after. 00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:42.240 Well, there is a happily ever after ending, but it's not done the hallmark way. 00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:47.679 It's done, hey, Jesus' way, the B-I-B-L-E way. 00:09:47.840 --> 00:09:55.600 I used to tell my college students all the time that there is a storybook ending done the storybook way, and the storybook is the B-I-B-L-E. 00:09:56.240 --> 00:10:13.279 So as we look at really today what that agape love is, we're going to look at the love that really makes a difference in our life, in our relationships, in our marriage, in our working relationships, and every relationship that you have. 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:18.799 Agape love will make a major, major, major difference. 00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:22.960 Now, two things we can do to keep love alive, if you notice in your outline. 00:10:23.279 --> 00:10:26.559 Number one, ask what love is. 00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:32.960 And then number two, act, act like love acts. 00:10:33.519 --> 00:10:35.039 So let's look at it. 00:10:35.360 --> 00:10:36.720 Ask what love is. 00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:38.320 Here it is, two things. 00:10:38.480 --> 00:10:42.879 Number one, love is a matter of choice. 00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:46.639 Notice what he says in Colossians 3.14. 00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:50.320 And over all virtues, now watch. 00:10:50.559 --> 00:10:51.360 Put on love. 00:10:51.519 --> 00:10:52.480 Underline that. 00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:58.080 Underline the phrase, put on love, which binds them all together. 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:04.240 See, it's not something that we are a victim of, it's something we choose. 00:11:04.559 --> 00:11:09.919 Because Paul would not have asked us to put on something that you can't control. 00:11:10.159 --> 00:11:11.200 Let me repeat that. 00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:18.240 Paul would not have asked us to put on something that we cannot control, that you can only feel. 00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:23.600 So we choose love, and Paul says, put it on. 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:26.799 So we choose to do something. 00:11:27.200 --> 00:11:31.200 Secondly, love is a matter of conduct. 00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:34.240 Notice what he says in 1 John 3.18. 00:11:34.399 --> 00:11:37.039 Let us not love in word, neither in tongue. 00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:41.360 But now watch, but in deed and in truth. 00:11:41.600 --> 00:11:47.279 It's more, hey, it's more than what we say, it's what we do. 00:11:47.679 --> 00:11:48.799 It's a behavior. 00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:49.919 Write that down. 00:11:50.080 --> 00:11:57.200 In the passage, John was telling us to back out, hey, to back up our love with our actions. 00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:02.240 And then you know, as I was extragenously going through 1 Corinthians 13, watch this. 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:03.120 Here it is. 00:12:03.279 --> 00:12:04.159 Love is pure. 00:12:04.320 --> 00:12:05.519 Look at verse 5. 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:12.320 It does not, in 1 Corinthians 13, it does not behave itself unseemly. 00:12:12.799 --> 00:12:13.360 Wow. 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:17.120 I mean, hey, it's pure in its manners. 00:12:17.360 --> 00:12:20.559 But notice secondly, verse 5, thanks no evil. 00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:24.159 It is pure in its mind thinking. 00:12:24.559 --> 00:12:26.799 And then, look at verse 6. 00:12:27.039 --> 00:12:31.919 It is pure in its motives, rejoicing in truth. 00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:40.000 So it's pure in its manners, it's pure in its minds, in its thinking, and it's pure in its actions. 00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:43.919 And the motives behind those actions. 00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:45.279 It was cute. 00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:55.279 I was reading a lot this past week, and I found this little story where a guy was always telling his girlfriend, Oh, honey, I would die for you. 00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:56.559 I love you so much. 00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:57.840 I would die for you. 00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:04.240 And all of a sudden the sweet girlfriend said, Oh, you're always telling me that, but you never do it. 00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:07.039 Oh my gosh. 00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:12.559 But anyway, it reminds me of the other little cute saying I saw. 00:13:12.799 --> 00:13:20.960 The guy's sitting there watching the collegiate football playoffs, and the wife comes in and she's trying to talk, and he says, Honey, not now, not now. 00:13:21.120 --> 00:13:25.440 And she just stopped, got upset, and said, Honey, you just love me. 00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:29.279 You don't love me as much as you love football. 00:13:29.519 --> 00:13:30.799 And he paused for a minute. 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:34.399 He said, Well, that's right, but I love you more than basketball. 00:13:35.039 --> 00:13:43.600 So, this love we're talking about, folks, is so, should I say real, but so practical. 00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:45.039 And that's the key. 00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:47.519 It's so practical. 00:13:47.919 --> 00:13:49.679 So let's look at this love. 00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:52.480 Let's look at this love in your outline. 00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:54.480 Act like love acts. 00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:55.440 How does it act? 00:13:55.519 --> 00:13:58.480 Let me give you five unbelievable, awesome principles. 00:13:58.639 --> 00:13:59.919 Here's number one. 00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:06.879 Love, now watch, is alive when it is patient. 00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:09.919 Look at 1 Corinthians 13 4. 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:12.399 Patient suffers long. 00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:13.600 It's patient. 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:21.120 See, love is dying when it's in a hurry, and it's dead when it cannot wait. 00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:23.679 That's very important you understand that. 00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:26.240 Listen to what Ephesians 4 2 says. 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:35.440 Be humble and gentle, be patient with each other, making allowances for each other's faults because of your love. 00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:37.840 Wow, that's powerful, folks. 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:44.320 In fact, when we go back and we see, we see this patience, look at verse 5. 00:14:44.480 --> 00:14:46.399 It bears all things. 00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:51.279 Look at verse 7, it endures all things. 00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:52.240 Wow. 00:14:52.720 --> 00:14:54.320 What are you saying? 00:14:54.799 --> 00:14:57.200 Patience does not retaliate. 00:14:57.679 --> 00:15:01.279 It is patient during uh what? 00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:02.639 Adversity. 00:15:03.039 --> 00:15:07.600 When things are going the wrong way for you, it doesn't explode. 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:09.600 It doesn't retaliate. 00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:12.879 It doesn't, verse five, become angry. 00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:14.720 Hey, it's not angry. 00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:18.159 And verse seven, it hopes in all things. 00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:20.639 In other words, it stays the course. 00:15:20.879 --> 00:15:21.840 It doesn't quit. 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:23.519 It doesn't give up. 00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:26.639 Now that is agape love. 00:15:27.200 --> 00:15:28.799 And that is patience. 00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:31.440 In fact, you know in verse 4 right there, let me show you. 00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:32.320 This is powerful. 00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:34.559 Let me tell you what God taught me this week. 00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:37.279 He says, love is patient and kind. 00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:40.080 Love is not jealous or boastful or proud. 00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:41.919 That's the New Living Testament. 00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:46.159 New King James Version says, love suffers long and is kind. 00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:47.440 Loves do not envy. 00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:49.360 Love does not parade itself. 00:15:49.519 --> 00:15:50.399 It's not puffed up. 00:15:50.559 --> 00:15:51.919 So I'm convinced. 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:54.320 Love is twofold. 00:15:54.639 --> 00:16:00.559 If true love is exhibited, a God paid love, it's patient. 00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:05.519 But if you're walking in the flesh, guess what? 00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:07.039 It's proud. 00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:08.559 It's boastful. 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:10.799 It's thinking about itself. 00:16:11.279 --> 00:16:11.919 You know? 00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:18.559 When all you do is think about what you want instead of what somebody else wants, you're prideful. 00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:20.240 It's all about you. 00:16:20.480 --> 00:16:22.080 It's not about the other person. 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:27.279 And see, that's not the kind of love Jesus gave to me and you. 00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:37.120 Aren't you excited and glad to know that he loved you when you were not lovable, when you were self-centered, when you were prideful, when you were boastful? 00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:42.000 Thank God he loved me when I was not lovable. 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:47.039 Thank God he forgave me when I was not forgivable. 00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:52.240 That's the kind of love that we're talking about right here. 00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:59.440 Love is alive when it's patient, but it's dying when it's in a hurry, and it's dead when it cannot wait. 00:16:59.759 --> 00:17:04.400 In fact, uh, this love turns the other cheek, it goes the second mile. 00:17:04.559 --> 00:17:05.759 It's patient. 00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:10.559 Patience is not always easy for us, it's very difficult. 00:17:10.799 --> 00:17:14.319 Probably the best thing for me when I'm impatient. 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:16.720 And I have a tendency to be impatient. 00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:21.119 And I know my wife's watching, and I know she's saying amen. 00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:23.519 I am. 00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:25.680 I'm not a patient person. 00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:28.240 But you know when I really am patient? 00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:34.160 It's when I think about how patient God was with me. 00:17:35.599 --> 00:17:40.319 How he gave me chances more than I deserved. 00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:42.960 He loved me to the end. 00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:46.720 He endured, as 1 Corinthians 13 here says. 00:17:52.240 --> 00:18:04.400 And so when you start becoming impatient, just stop and pause for a minute and think about how patient God was with you. 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:09.440 And how he loves you, and how Jesus died for you. 00:18:09.839 --> 00:18:15.359 Now that'll that'll get you thinking in the right way when we think of the patience of God. 00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:21.039 So the first thing we understand biblically is that love is patient. 00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:22.799 Say that with me, church. 00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:25.359 Love is patient. 00:18:26.079 --> 00:18:30.160 Secondly, love is alive when it cares. 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:36.960 Yes, it's dying when it forgets, and it's dead when it ignores. 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:40.319 In fact, he says love is kind. 00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:44.640 And then Ephesians 4 32, be kind one to another. 00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:50.799 Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you. 00:18:51.200 --> 00:18:51.839 Wow. 00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:54.640 In other words, look at what he says. 00:18:54.799 --> 00:18:55.920 What is kindness? 00:18:56.079 --> 00:19:01.920 Kindness in action is saying please, saying we're sorry. 00:19:02.960 --> 00:19:05.279 Verse 4, it envies not. 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:06.880 That's our attitude. 00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:12.319 In other words, we don't put ourselves before other uh before other people. 00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:14.960 We think of other people before ourselves. 00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:18.720 And then it seeks not her own good. 00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:20.960 It's unselfish. 00:19:21.440 --> 00:19:25.039 And then look at the accusation, believes all things. 00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:27.759 It doesn't accuse people of things. 00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:34.799 It doesn't go around talking about people and trying to find the worst in people, the bad in the people, the negative in the people. 00:19:34.880 --> 00:19:36.720 No, it looks for the good. 00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:38.559 It's easy to find the negative. 00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:40.720 It's easy to find the bad. 00:19:41.519 --> 00:19:44.480 But you have to work at finding the good sometimes. 00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:46.240 But that's what it does. 00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:47.920 Man, that's good. 00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:48.880 Kindness. 00:19:49.039 --> 00:19:51.279 Let me tell you, let me give you the definition of kindness. 00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:52.720 You want to write this down. 00:19:53.119 --> 00:20:00.480 Kindness is the ability to care for each other in the practical details of life. 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:02.079 That's what kindness is. 00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:09.039 It's the ability to care for each other in the practical details of life. 00:20:09.759 --> 00:20:20.720 I think kindness fleshes itself out in a relationship by just practical, day-in, day out living, doing the little things. 00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:21.759 I really do. 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:22.720 I really do. 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:24.880 And that eats my lunch. 00:20:24.960 --> 00:20:25.680 I'm guilty. 00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:27.920 I don't think that way. 00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:32.160 Because it's all about me and still about Susan or other people. 00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:38.000 Have you ever thought about how easier it is to be kind to other people than the people that you love the most? 00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:39.119 Why is that? 00:20:39.359 --> 00:20:40.880 Have you ever thought about that? 00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:45.759 It's easier to be kind to other people's children than yours sometimes. 00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:47.279 Have you ever thought about that? 00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:53.839 It's easier to be kind to your neighbor than your mate or some of your closer friends. 00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:58.079 It's very difficult for some people to express kindness. 00:20:58.319 --> 00:21:13.039 In the last 10 to 15 years, I was reading this new survey, has been a major increase in greeting cards like Christmas cards, birthday cards, friendship cards. 00:21:13.359 --> 00:21:25.599 And I really believe one of the reasons is it's easier for us to send a card expressing what we think and feel than it is to verbally, 101 express that. 00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:27.599 And you, I like cards. 00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:28.559 I like cards. 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:32.079 In fact, I saw this card the other day that fit this message. 00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:33.359 And it says this. 00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:41.279 He said, if I had an ice cream comb, I'd give you half, honey. 00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:45.200 If I had six candies, you'd get three. 00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:49.920 And then he went on to say, if I had two apples, one would definitely be yours. 00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:54.400 And if I won the lottery, I'd send you a postcard from Hawaii. 00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:59.680 But but but true love and kindness needs to. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:00.559 Be expressed. 00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:02.880 In verse 32, notice what he said. 00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:09.279 Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you now. 00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:18.799 The only way that I can have a relationship with anyone, whether it's my wife, my friends, my church members, is to have a forgiving spirit. 00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:20.720 Notice what he says. 00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:25.759 The forgiving spirit is the core of any relationship. 00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:29.680 If you can't forgive, you'll never be able to love. 00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:31.680 I really believe that. 00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:33.359 I do with all my heart. 00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:37.279 Paul said, forgive others as you have been forgiven by God. 00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:40.799 When I see how God forgave me, I can forgive others. 00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:41.759 Yes. 00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:44.880 Mother Teresa made this statement. 00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:58.640 She said, the biggest, and I really believe this, the disease today and during her ministry was not leprosy, it was not to uh to b the lung disease. 00:22:59.359 --> 00:23:00.640 Thank you, Dave. 00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:04.400 But hey, it's not the coronavirus. 00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:13.920 Here's what it is: it's the feeling of being unwanted, uncared for, and lonely and unloved. 00:23:14.960 --> 00:23:16.720 Man, that's that's it. 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:18.559 So, love is kind. 00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:23.039 Love is patient, love cares. 00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:27.119 But number three, love is alive when it is secure. 00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:32.960 It's dying when it starts doubting, and it's dead when it stops trusting. 00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:35.839 I love what 1 Corinthians 13 4 says. 00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:39.119 It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:44.799 Envy plus boasting plus pride equals insecurity. 00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:46.240 Let me repeat that. 00:23:46.480 --> 00:23:50.880 Envy plus boasting plus pride is insecurity. 00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:54.799 Security is truly the key to all relationships. 00:23:55.039 --> 00:23:55.920 It really is. 00:23:56.640 --> 00:24:01.920 If someone can't trust you, they cannot be secure in your love. 00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:11.279 In fact, I'm convinced that that is probably the greatest characteristic or character trait we can have is security. 00:24:11.519 --> 00:24:15.279 I'm telling you, I'm excited because I'm secure in God's love. 00:24:15.519 --> 00:24:26.880 I know that if I, hey, hey, God loves me, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life, regardless of who I am, what I do. 00:24:27.119 --> 00:24:27.759 God loved me. 00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:31.200 He loved me so much that he sent his son to die for me. 00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:34.720 Ladies and gentlemen, I am secure in his love. 00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:39.839 And he's made me a promise in John 10 that no one can pluck me out of his hand. 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:45.759 He's made me a promise in Romans 8 that nothing can separate me from the love of God. 00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:52.640 And that's the way your love ought to be to your mate, to your children, to your friends. 00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:57.119 It ought to be self-sacrificing, self-giving. 00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:12.960 Show me people in a relationship who can't talk about the real issues, who can't sit down and work through the problems, and I'll show you a prideful, insecure person. 00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:30.240 But you show me people that can sit down face to face, Matthew 18, Matthew 5, if you have all with your brother or sister, starting with your mate, and be able to sit down lovingly and talk through those issues. 00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:43.839 Not that you have to agree on the issues, but you have to be civil in the issues, and you've got to work through the issues, and you've got to see the foundation and the root problem of those issues. 00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:57.920 And if you can take the word of God and be kind, regardless if you agree, then you are becoming a mature, secure person. 00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:04.319 But if you can't, listen to me, now this is gonna hurt all of us. 00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:17.279 If you can't sit down with your mate or with your friends or with your church member brothers and sisters, when you have alt or disagreement with them, you have an immature love. 00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:21.920 And really, it's prideful. 00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:23.440 It's pride. 00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:24.799 I'm convinced. 00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:29.359 I know, because I know that's what it is in me when I can't do that. 00:26:29.920 --> 00:26:37.359 When I can't sit down face to face with Susan and work out our problems, it's because I don't want to. 00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:39.680 And that's immaturity. 00:26:39.839 --> 00:26:41.599 No, it's more than immaturity. 00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:42.640 Well, it is immaturity. 00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:43.279 You know why? 00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:44.160 It's prideful. 00:26:44.240 --> 00:26:46.640 And prideful breeds immaturity. 00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:52.480 Whereas patience breeds maturity. 00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:55.440 It suffers long, it bears all things. 00:26:55.759 --> 00:26:57.039 It never gives up. 00:26:57.279 --> 00:26:58.480 It forgives. 00:26:59.119 --> 00:27:00.400 Man, that's good. 00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:01.680 That's good. 00:27:02.240 --> 00:27:03.039 Brings me to. 00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:10.240 In fact, let me, I I read this article on uh Carlos Ortez. 00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:14.960 He was talking to a circus trapeze artist. 00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:19.039 And you know what he this trapeze artist said? 00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:22.480 I love the net that's under me. 00:27:23.039 --> 00:27:24.240 And you know what he said? 00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:35.279 You know, when I have a net under me, it causes me to do try harder tricks, more tricks, different tricks. 00:27:35.599 --> 00:27:46.400 It it causes me to give everything I got, to give my best, because I know if something does happen underneath me, I'm gonna be caught by that net. 00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:48.559 I thought about that. 00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:50.480 That's what security is. 00:27:50.640 --> 00:27:51.599 Listen to me. 00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:53.119 That's what security is. 00:27:53.279 --> 00:28:10.319 When I am secure in Susan's love, or Susan's secure in my love, or I'm secure in your brotherly love, I it makes me want to go out of my way to do more, to do stuff that I wouldn't think about doing because I'm scared, or but why? 00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:14.720 Because I know I'm secure and I know I'm not gonna be judged. 00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:17.039 Now, folks, that's good. 00:28:17.359 --> 00:28:20.160 You've got a net in security. 00:28:21.119 --> 00:28:24.720 You can go all out to give your very best. 00:28:26.079 --> 00:28:27.599 You can go all out. 00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:33.039 Love is alive when it's giving. 00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:40.480 Number four, dying when it begins to exchange, and dead when it's taken. 00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:42.640 And what I mean, exchange. 00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:48.480 If love is anything, it is a given relationship, not you do this, I do that. 00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:50.000 That's an exchange. 00:28:50.319 --> 00:28:54.160 God models it better than anyone else because he gave first. 00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:56.480 And it's not that tough. 00:28:56.799 --> 00:28:59.680 See, I this is all about me. 00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:03.759 To give first means I have to be vulnerable. 00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:06.640 Can I ask you something? 00:29:06.960 --> 00:29:12.720 How many of you that have been a giver and you give and you understand what I've been talking about? 00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:14.640 How many of you have been hurt? 00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:17.359 Every one of us. 00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:22.799 I'll never forget in ministry, first time I was hurt so deeply. 00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:29.920 Not even gonna call names, not even gonna call the position, but it was a staff person that I had mentored. 00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:31.920 And he turned on me. 00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:35.279