WEBVTT 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:24.879 Dads in here. 00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:27.519 Who I am, I'm I'm Aaron Knight. 00:00:27.759 --> 00:00:30.960 Um Chelsea for about eight years. 00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:41.280 Uh we've been over at the camp, my wife and I and our family at Hargis down the street here for the last uh roughly about five years uh trying to rebuild and get everything back where it needs to go. 00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:46.480 I like to kind of start out if I go somewhere and speak uh to kind of share my family so you know a little bit about me. 00:00:46.560 --> 00:00:52.879 So I asked the media team if they could throw some pictures up there of my family. 00:00:55.359 --> 00:00:56.000 Yeah. 00:00:57.920 --> 00:01:05.120 So that's Peyton, Madeline, Drew, Lathan, Madison, Emily, and my lovely wife right there. 00:01:05.359 --> 00:01:13.840 A few years old on the pictures as you get up as you get older and your kids get grown and have kids and you have grandkids and all that, um, that it's hard to get them all together in one place. 00:01:13.920 --> 00:01:18.640 So that was probably the most recent with everybody there picture that we had uh right there. 00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:22.319 But um also their picture of the boys there. 00:01:23.200 --> 00:01:27.040 So these guys right here, uh actually one of them's here, Caleb's here. 00:01:27.200 --> 00:01:30.159 Caleb's hating that picture because that was a long time ago. 00:01:30.240 --> 00:01:32.880 Uh so that's Alex, Drew, Caleb, and Michael. 00:01:33.040 --> 00:01:34.799 Um, all those guys call me dad. 00:01:34.880 --> 00:01:36.400 They're like uh sons to me. 00:01:36.560 --> 00:01:43.760 And so uh I'm blessed to have really about five kids, five or six, I mean uh five five to ten kids between, you know, everybody there. 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:50.640 And then I have one recent one that really has my heart, and it's my that's my granddaughter, Miss Freya. 00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:51.200 She's right there. 00:01:51.359 --> 00:01:52.320 Raise your hand. 00:01:53.359 --> 00:02:02.960 Uh I haven't when spoken anywhere that she was there, that she didn't come to the stage with me at some point, so I'm really tempted to uh to hold her. 00:02:03.120 --> 00:02:05.280 But um, most amazing thing ever. 00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:11.120 I mean, being being a dad is is uh incredible and I love it, and uh it's definitely challenging. 00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:15.359 Uh I've had a lot of dad fails over the years, and that's what I'm gonna kind of speak from today. 00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:18.319 Uh, but being a granddad is just something totally different. 00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:23.359 People tell you that like your whole life, like it's just different, and I'm like, oh yeah, well, we'll see when I get there. 00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:28.560 But um I can tell you with with my kids, uh, when they were born, I didn't cry at the hospital. 00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:35.520 I guess they're just really busy and you know, young and just, you know, kind of working through things and just glad, you know, that uh everybody came out healthy. 00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:41.280 Uh but you know, with my with my granddaughter, I don't know what happened, but Madison can tell you, man, I was I was a mess. 00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:42.560 I mean, I was a wreck. 00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:48.719 I cried and then I dried up and I was good, and then they put her in my arms in the chair at Grandview by the window, and I started crying again. 00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:50.080 And Madison was like, What's wrong, Dad? 00:02:50.159 --> 00:02:51.039 And I was like, I don't know. 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:51.520 I don't know. 00:02:51.599 --> 00:02:56.640 It's just a it's just a lot of uh stress and praying for your baby having a baby. 00:02:56.719 --> 00:02:58.319 Uh, and then when she's there, you know. 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:01.680 So Freya is uh a papa's girl. 00:03:01.759 --> 00:03:02.960 Like I love her. 00:03:03.039 --> 00:03:06.159 And I've told them, like, whatever she wants the rest of her life, it's yes. 00:03:06.240 --> 00:03:07.439 You know, whatever it is. 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:11.360 16, and she wants that certain car, we're gonna figure it out somehow or another. 00:03:11.520 --> 00:03:14.240 If I have to sell the truck or something, I'm gonna do something. 00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:19.439 So um I really want to take this moment also to thank you guys for giving to Hargis. 00:03:19.599 --> 00:03:26.479 Um, this is actually the only church that gives to our camp monthly, and so you guys have been a huge blessing uh to us in that. 00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:27.360 Thank you. 00:03:31.200 --> 00:03:44.640 I was able to um uh hang out with Pastor Rick some, and he said it was kind of like you know, you you go into Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and all the world world as far as the book of Acts says, and so we're so blessed and honored to be part of y'all's Jerusalem that you give to here. 00:03:44.719 --> 00:03:50.000 And so God's worked in just amazing ways out there at Hargis just in the last month, month and a half. 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:54.400 Uh we've had about 27 salvations out there, about the same amount of baptisms. 00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:02.319 Over a thousand in five years there, and uh, we really wanted to reach the world. 00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:06.879 Uh so we have these missionary cabins out there we set up for missionaries to come in for free and stay. 00:04:07.039 --> 00:04:11.439 And uh, we've had 28 states and eight countries there in the last uh four years now. 00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:17.839 So God's been really faithful in just kind of walking out a vision that um that I really believe came from Him. 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:22.800 Um I'm gonna talk a little bit about your pastors real quick and what they have meant to my life. 00:04:22.959 --> 00:04:24.800 And and I'll start with Pastor Danny. 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:27.039 Uh who was all here when Pastor Danny was here? 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:28.639 A lot of you? 00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:29.360 Awesome. 00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:32.079 He was amazing, amazing, still is amazing. 00:04:32.240 --> 00:04:35.120 Um, very persistent in inviting people to church. 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:40.239 Pickleball king. 00:04:40.479 --> 00:04:46.719 Um we worked out at the Greystone YMCA together for an I think sometimes he'd forget I was pastoring a church because he'd invite me to church. 00:04:46.879 --> 00:04:56.959 I'm like, man, I'm I'm busy on Sundays, but but as time went on, uh I was able to come up here and do a lot with uh CCW and you are in the other building over here. 00:04:57.039 --> 00:05:02.079 And uh that was one thing that uh Pastor Rick and I, you know, connected early on uh with that. 00:05:02.239 --> 00:05:05.839 And um, you know, he was a great, amazing uh youth pastor. 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:09.679 And the thing I loved about him was he was just he was all the always out in the community. 00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:15.919 Uh whether it was CEO at the poll, whether it was FCA or whatever, like uh Pastor Rick was gonna be out there, and you know, he would always invite us. 00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:20.799 If y'all had a a great speaker over here for like youth night on Wednesday, he would invite us over there. 00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:24.639 And I think we were the only, he said we were the only church that would take him up on it and bring our students over. 00:05:24.719 --> 00:05:33.759 And um, y'all have guys out here in BMX's and and motorcycles, and they had Pastor Danny and I laying on the pavement and they'd bring the motorcycle like right up to our to the side of our head. 00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:36.000 And so um spent a lot of good times up here. 00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:40.399 Uh y'all got an amazing, amazing pastor, uh, and Pastor Benji as well. 00:05:40.479 --> 00:05:42.239 Um meant a lot to our life. 00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:49.039 And uh you guys, just when we were getting uh close to the end of the payoff or whatever, you you text me, encouraged me, called me. 00:05:49.119 --> 00:05:53.119 And so you guys are a huge blessing and uh all the encouragement we can get there. 00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:55.599 Uh also we have some amazing neighbors in here. 00:05:55.679 --> 00:05:57.119 If y'all know uh uh Mr. 00:05:57.199 --> 00:05:59.759 Larry Grimes and Miss Iris, if y'all know them. 00:06:00.639 --> 00:06:08.000 So those just happen to be our next door neighbors, and so we uh we if you didn't know who Mr. 00:06:08.079 --> 00:06:09.519 Larry is, he's in the overalls. 00:06:09.599 --> 00:06:11.359 He's always in overalls. 00:06:11.679 --> 00:06:13.439 He probably sleeps in overalls. 00:06:13.519 --> 00:06:18.560 I've I've never I've never seen him in the yard without overalls, not one single time. 00:06:18.719 --> 00:06:21.119 Mate change the shirt underneath it, but it's always overalls. 00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:25.359 You know, we we prayed that we would have um neighbors who were believers. 00:06:25.439 --> 00:06:34.319 That's what we were trying to find is a place on the lake, but neighbors who are believers, and so uh as we're you know looking at the house for the first time, I'm going around the right side of the house, and uh Mr. 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:38.799 Larry kind of comes out from behind a building over there, and uh I said, How you doing? 00:06:38.879 --> 00:06:40.639 And he said, Blessed and highly favored. 00:06:40.719 --> 00:06:43.279 And I was like, Well, I'm pretty sure he's a believer. 00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:48.399 So that point on, we really wanted to um um you know get that house. 00:06:48.479 --> 00:06:53.759 That was part of our just our really our our big selling point was we had amazing neighbors and they turned out to be great. 00:06:53.839 --> 00:07:02.159 And Miss Iris and my wife swap brownies and cakes, and you know, we got probably got their type of wear over there right now, and they probably got some of ours over there. 00:07:02.239 --> 00:07:04.959 Uh but the most amazing neighbors that you could ever have. 00:07:05.119 --> 00:07:10.319 Um, a huge footprint of people here at CCW that have meant something to my life and meant something to the camp. 00:07:10.479 --> 00:07:12.319 Uh we got Ian McDowell right here. 00:07:12.479 --> 00:07:13.919 He is the pool whisperer. 00:07:14.159 --> 00:07:17.039 Like, I mean, if you think a pool's dead, it's not. 00:07:17.119 --> 00:07:19.759 That guy right there can breathe on it and it'll come to life. 00:07:19.919 --> 00:07:22.000 Um our pool sat there for two or three years. 00:07:22.079 --> 00:07:30.159 We had we got 55-gallon drum of sludge out of it, uh, five live turtles, and uh people were telling us to fill it in with dirt and turn it to a volleyball court. 00:07:30.239 --> 00:07:32.719 And he looked at it and he said, Hey, I this was like February. 00:07:32.799 --> 00:07:34.719 He said, I can get it crystal clear by June. 00:07:34.799 --> 00:07:37.199 And I was like, if you can, it's America when it's meant to be. 00:07:37.359 --> 00:07:39.919 So lo and behold, man, he's been our pool guy ever since. 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:42.639 We have never strayed from him at our house and at the camp. 00:07:42.719 --> 00:07:45.359 So um Ty is in here from Wildcat. 00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:46.959 He's been doing our dirt work. 00:07:47.119 --> 00:07:49.919 Um I finally got to learn how to pronounce Brandon's name. 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:50.959 It's Vinyell. 00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:53.199 Uh so I said it totally wrong. 00:07:53.359 --> 00:07:56.560 Uh but he and Nathan Hell have been coming out and doing some tech work for us. 00:07:56.719 --> 00:08:00.479 And um Niva and Big Shot, uh the Duras back there. 00:08:00.560 --> 00:08:04.799 They picked me up when I was a kid and took me to um Mount Signal Baptist Church down here. 00:08:04.879 --> 00:08:06.799 So I've known so many people in this room. 00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:10.879 And if I missed you, so many people in this room that have meant something to my life since I was a little kid. 00:08:11.039 --> 00:08:13.279 So an incredible honor to be here. 00:08:13.359 --> 00:08:23.039 I want to speak about one dad that's not here but is here in this room today, and that's David Wilson, and uh what he meant to um the community, what he meant to this church. 00:08:23.119 --> 00:08:35.039 And you know, sometimes people cannot be here but be here uh in their spirit, and so we get to stand in the shadow of some great fathers and people that uh were visionaries, and for what he and um and Pastor Danny um envisioned together. 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:44.320 Um I tell you, talk about first impressions, and uh when we're praying out this morning, Benji was talking about first impressions and for I think the first seven seconds or whatever, the first time I ever met David Wilson. 00:08:44.399 --> 00:08:49.279 I say this every time you post something, but it just meant something to me was um I just began pastoring. 00:08:49.360 --> 00:08:52.240 I was a pretty young pastor at the time, I'd say 43 years old. 00:08:52.399 --> 00:09:03.440 And uh so Brother Danny and uh brother David were over at Hartley's restaurant when we had Hartley's here, the meeting three, and uh they recognized who I was, and so he came over there and said, Hey, come over and sit and eat with us. 00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:19.440 So I went over and sat and ate lunch with them, and they paid for lunch, and we just talked about the Lord and life, and um, so just about my first impression was he bought me a meal and encouraged me as a young pastor, and so I really uh appreciate everything that that uh he did for this community and this church, and I think it's a big reason why everybody's here today. 00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:20.960 So uh can't leave that off. 00:09:21.120 --> 00:09:29.680 Fathers of my life, obviously, my heavenly father is gonna be always first and foremost uh for loving me through absolute craziness in my life, uh not doing right. 00:09:29.759 --> 00:09:33.360 I was a crazy kid, and so uh my heavenly fathers just loved me like that. 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:38.240 My dad, Joe Knight, uh, who had to put up a lot, put up with a lot with me growing up. 00:09:38.399 --> 00:09:44.960 Um my father-in-law is passed away, Marks Nicholson, uh, one of the best men I've ever met in my life, just an incredible man of God. 00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:52.639 Um, you know, really gave me some great advice uh in pastoring a church and trying to love his daughter and do the things I need to do right. 00:09:52.800 --> 00:09:55.200 He gave me some of the best advice that I've ever had in my life. 00:09:55.360 --> 00:09:58.560 Um Braxton Day, my stepdad, an amazing man. 00:09:58.639 --> 00:10:00.080 Uh, and then Jeremiah Castile. 00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:02.160 Uh, he's like my spiritual father to me. 00:10:02.320 --> 00:10:08.399 And uh when I was young into pastoring, I needed somebody to come and breathe life into me and hold me accountable and things like that. 00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:11.680 And Jeremiah was uh willing to do that for free and just love me. 00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:14.879 So uh those are um the people I just would love to. 00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:18.639 And then also I got a friend in here that's about to be a father, brother George Thomas. 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:21.440 I'm just gonna say Happy Father's Day right here. 00:10:24.720 --> 00:10:26.879 I almost left this off, but I wanted to be an encouragement. 00:10:27.040 --> 00:10:33.600 Benji said something about it in the prayer, praying out this morning was you know, if if you're believing to have a child, they've been believing forever. 00:10:33.680 --> 00:10:40.000 And so, man, I was so so honored and blessed to be able to get up and send you that text this morning and say happy Father's Day. 00:10:40.160 --> 00:10:46.480 Uh there was a group, there was, I think there were three families back in the day at redemption that were really believing and trying for years to have a kid. 00:10:46.560 --> 00:10:54.720 Uh and I remember, you know, feeling like I was, you know, like I needed to do something, so I would bring them a gift on Father's Day or Mother's Day and just kind of slide it back there where they were sitting at and whatever. 00:10:54.800 --> 00:10:58.080 But, you know, looking back now, I think everybody has kids that was in that group. 00:10:58.160 --> 00:11:01.440 So, man, what a huge blessing, and God is so faithful. 00:11:01.680 --> 00:11:08.399 Okay, so I've been charged today to um talk about biblical uh fatherhood, biblical fatherhood. 00:11:08.560 --> 00:11:14.000 I'm gonna speak from um a place of failure at times, uh, and I want to be encouraging. 00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:19.600 I don't want this to be one of those messages where you uh feel like the dads are beat down or whatever, because being a father is a tough job. 00:11:19.680 --> 00:11:20.160 It really is. 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:22.080 I mean, there's so many challenges in it. 00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:27.600 And so um I want to start out with this, you know, why does fatherhood matter? 00:11:27.759 --> 00:11:39.519 And and before I read this out or these statistics or anything like that, I want you to understand if you're in a home and you don't have a dad there, God can God can make you the most successful person ever. 00:11:39.680 --> 00:11:48.720 Some of my best friends, uh the crafts here, actually, John Kraft and Mike Kraft and Justin Kraft, some of the most successful people I know, um, grew up without a dad. 00:11:48.879 --> 00:11:49.840 Turned out great. 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:53.280 But fathers matter in a home statistically for a reason. 00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:57.200 I'll give you a few of other people that grew up in homes without dads. 00:11:57.280 --> 00:12:02.800 Uh Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs, Lance Armstrong, Alex Rodriguez, Larry Byrd, I didn't even know that. 00:12:02.960 --> 00:12:05.120 Um Jackie Robinson and four U.S. 00:12:05.280 --> 00:12:05.680 presidents. 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:07.920 So you can be very successful without a dad in a home. 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:09.680 So don't take this that way. 00:12:09.920 --> 00:12:23.200 But statistically speaking, um, research demonstrates that children with active, positive fathers, father figures display greater emotional security, better problem-solving skills, and higher likelihood of long-term success. 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:24.399 I'm gonna read you some stats. 00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:26.480 I'm reading these off-rod, copy and paste them. 00:12:26.560 --> 00:12:36.320 Uh, educational achievement children with s with strongly engaged fathers are 43 percent more likely to earn mostly A's and 33 percent less likely to repeat a grade. 00:12:36.560 --> 00:12:42.800 In higher education, uh, involved fathers doubles a child's likelihood of going to college. 00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:47.600 Now notice these they said involved fathers, not just fathers in the home, but involved fathers. 00:12:47.759 --> 00:12:49.360 Uh emotional regulation. 00:12:49.600 --> 00:13:00.879 Fathers often engage in unique rough and tumble play, uh, which psychologists note helps children develop problem solving skills and better manage frustration. 00:13:01.040 --> 00:13:02.480 I thought that was a pretty neat one. 00:13:02.639 --> 00:13:11.200 Like if you're kind of wrestling around with your kid, Drew, you should have all kinds of great problem-solving skills, because I wrestled him like crazy watching UFC fights when he was a little kid. 00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:19.840 Uh the justice system, conversely speaking, uh, youth who grow up without a father are disproportionately represented in the justice system. 00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:24.240 Children with engaged fathers are up to 80% less likely to spend time in jail. 00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:31.360 And then teen pregnancy, father involvement is linked to 75% reduction in likelihood of experiencing teen pregnancy there. 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:34.399 And this is not a problem that's like an inner city problem. 00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:35.040 That's not it. 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:35.759 Like it's everywhere. 00:13:35.840 --> 00:13:37.680 It's in Chelsea, Alabama, it's everywhere. 00:13:37.920 --> 00:13:45.519 There's a we have a thing out the camp called Grand Camp, uh, where grandmothers and grandfathers bring their grandchildren out there and they spend a day with them. 00:13:45.600 --> 00:13:46.480 Uh, and it's grand camp. 00:13:46.560 --> 00:13:53.600 We let them come out for free, and the majority of these people actually have custody of their grandkids, you know, because there's not a parent in their life. 00:13:53.759 --> 00:13:56.800 And so we see this, you know, across the board everywhere. 00:13:56.960 --> 00:14:04.960 Another reason why it's important, fatherhood, is the family is God's design, and that design has been under more and more attack as time has passed. 00:14:05.280 --> 00:14:10.879 Whether it's the patriarchy or masculinity in general, these things have been under attack in our world for a while now. 00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:16.639 And God, God put these things in there uh where they would function together, and God's a God of order. 00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:19.759 Um, that's why you need to have a mom and you need to have a dad in the home. 00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:23.680 Because there's some things that um that dads can't do that moms can do, and vice versa. 00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:29.920 And so there's so much that um God had in his design of the family uh in that design. 00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:38.080 Uh nearly one in four children in the U.S., 18.5 million live without a biological step or adoptive father in their home. 00:14:38.399 --> 00:14:41.200 A rate that has more than doubled since 1970. 00:14:41.280 --> 00:14:48.160 Uh this increase is driven uh by rates of unmarried births, non-marital cohabitation breakups, and high divorce rates. 00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:55.360 So if you wanted to call something an epidemic, we do have an epidemic, so to speak, of fatherlessness in our nation. 00:14:55.680 --> 00:14:58.960 And it's something I think that we can do something about, obviously. 00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:03.920 So we understand that like motherhood, fatherhood is essential for success. 00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:08.879 So, what is biblical fatherhood according to the one who created it? 00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:11.040 What is biblical fatherhood? 00:15:11.280 --> 00:15:16.560 And I think I'll take two things kind of off the board that we always talk about, and that's providing and protecting. 00:15:16.639 --> 00:15:18.720 I think those things are non-negotiables. 00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:22.800 Everybody understands that a father provides, everybody understands that a father protects. 00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:26.480 I want to speak more to kind of culture inside the home today, if I can. 00:15:27.440 --> 00:15:30.240 So, what is biblical fatherhood according to one? 00:15:31.040 --> 00:15:36.240 A father is going to lead regardless, either positively or negatively. 00:15:36.480 --> 00:15:40.240 A father is going to lead in one direction, like they're going to follow your example. 00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:44.720 So whether you think you're leading or not, they're watching every single thing you do. 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:53.680 You are leading them into who they will be in their adult years, in their marriages, and who uh they will be as parents. 00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:57.759 Proverbs 20 and 7 says, the righteous lead blameless lives. 00:15:57.920 --> 00:16:01.360 Blessed are their children after them because they're seeing this. 00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:08.960 You know, they're gonna see how you treat your wife, how you treat uh your coworkers, how you treat the rest of your family. 00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:22.160 Um Madeline's not with us uh today, but you know, with Madeline, we made sure, you know, later on that we said, hey, if if you're going out on a date with a boy and he doesn't open the corridor, like just stand at the corridor until he opens it. 00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:23.680 Do not open that door. 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:25.519 So um, and she does it. 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:32.960 Like if somebody comes and picks her up for a date and they go off, she'll stand at that corridor for a half hour until he figures out you know what what he's missing there. 00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:36.720 But they have to see that, they have to see that bottle to what they see they catch. 00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:41.440 A father is going to train his children. 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:44.480 A father is going to train his children. 00:16:44.800 --> 00:16:48.639 And we don't think about, you know, children as training. 00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:53.120 We don't think about, we think about them as family, and we don't think that there's this training process. 00:16:53.280 --> 00:17:03.519 Uh Proverbs 22, 6 uh says training takes consistent uh see and commitment to train up your child as they should go, and they won't depart from when they get older. 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:14.799 It says in Ephesians 6.4, and you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admission, admonition of the Lord. 00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:16.639 That's Ephesians 6.4. 00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:25.039 I had a um a pastor years ago, he was talking about the phases of raising a child into adulthood and what those phases look like. 00:17:25.119 --> 00:17:37.039 And, you know, on the back side of us having a grandkid now, I understand more than the accuracy that this man was speaking with as far as the the years and what these years meant uh to our lives, because we only get one shot at it. 00:17:37.199 --> 00:17:40.959 Uh the training stages is a part of the stages of parenting. 00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:44.240 You know, the the years one through four, they're mainly the nurturing years. 00:17:44.399 --> 00:17:48.000 So Frey will be one year old, uh, July 10th, my granddaughter. 00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:55.759 And she's in these nurturing years where she just needs to feel love, she needs to feel a connection, she needs to feel closeness, she needs to feel security through that. 00:17:55.919 --> 00:17:57.119 The nurturing years. 00:17:57.359 --> 00:18:01.679 Then you have the the years five through ten-year-old, and those are the discipline years. 00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:07.279 If you've got a five-year-old, a six-year-old, a seven-year-old, it's a lot of discipline going on. 00:18:07.439 --> 00:18:09.439 They're doing a lot of crazy stuff. 00:18:09.599 --> 00:18:11.439 And so you got the discipline years there. 00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:15.759 And then the the training years really, he said were 11 through 15. 00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:22.959 I think that's pretty accurate as far as training uh your kid and what they should do, how they should react, what your expectations are. 00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:37.599 Uh, and then you get into the coaching years uh that are 16, basically through 20, uh, where you've trained them, you've nurtured them, you've disciplined them, you've trained them, um, and now you're you're you're coaching them up on what they already know and what you've already laid out there for them. 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:41.519 Uh then you get into the friend years, which is basically 20 years old and up. 00:18:41.679 --> 00:18:46.399 In the friend years, we get to be a friend uh to your to your kids and get to watch them grow up. 00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:48.879 And so Drew just gave me a little fist there. 00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:50.079 We're friends now. 00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:53.839 Because um it can be messy. 00:18:54.559 --> 00:19:03.839 Fatherhood can be messy, and uh and we're gonna make mistakes as dads, and our kids are gonna make mistakes, and we've got to have grace and compassion when it comes to how we lead our homes. 00:19:04.639 --> 00:19:08.879 A father is going to love his children with a godly love. 00:19:09.439 --> 00:19:12.240 A father's gonna love his children with the godly love. 00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:14.159 Uh, we always gotta remember that. 00:19:14.399 --> 00:19:23.519 You know, just like our Heavenly Father loves us from a position uh of that agape love, we've got to love our children from the same thing, from the same angle. 00:19:23.599 --> 00:19:24.720 Uh love does so much. 00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:30.639 I've spoken on love before about love being a weapon and being probably the uh the greatest weapon in the Bible. 00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:35.759 You know, it talks about faith, hope, and love, you know, or some great things that he's given us and says the greatest is love. 00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:38.879 And I always hear that and I'm like, well, man, it looks like faith or hope. 00:19:38.959 --> 00:19:42.720 You know, faith helps you overcome things, hope helps you have a confident expectation. 00:19:42.879 --> 00:19:46.879 So to me, love just never fit as like the greatest weapon that you could have. 00:19:46.959 --> 00:19:54.000 Uh but as you read on love and what love does to a person and in a person, uh you realize that love could be the greatest weapon of all. 00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:56.159 The Bible says the love of God compels us. 00:19:56.240 --> 00:19:58.079 It's actually what compels us to go out. 00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:01.279 The Bible says the love of God cast out fear. 00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:12.799 Um love can just it can it can take a person that's broken, uh, that has gone through some of the worst hardships ever, and love can take all of that out of them if applied the right way. 00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:15.119 And we get a shot to do that as parents. 00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:23.599 A father is going to discipline his children, to discipline his children. 00:20:26.959 --> 00:20:31.679 And discipline I think looks different as they get older. 00:20:32.559 --> 00:20:34.079 How you discipline them. 00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:38.079 Uh, you want them to learn like correction, like, why are we not doing this? 00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:41.599 Uh what did you do wrong, and why is this not a good thing? 00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:47.119 Uh not just you know straight discipline for no reason, um not explaining things out to them. 00:20:47.359 --> 00:21:02.639 It says in Proverbs 3, 11 through 12, My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves as a father, the son he delights in. 00:21:02.879 --> 00:21:04.639 So God's saying, hey, it's it's right. 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:07.599 What you should be doing is discipline uh your kids. 00:21:07.679 --> 00:21:10.399 And I'm gonna get into some uh some reasons for that. 00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:19.359 Uh but one thing I learned um later on was that, and I wish I would have had it, I have it now that Freya's born, but I wish I had it earlier in life. 00:21:19.439 --> 00:21:25.599 But a friend of mine was talking to me about discipline, and he was talking about the difference between rules and expectations. 00:21:25.839 --> 00:21:40.959 Uh and he said once he was able to sit down with his kids and they were in the training years and the coaching years, uh and you had sat down with them, when you take it away from, hey, these are the rules that you've got to live by, and you say, these are the expectations that we have. 00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:45.279 Um, and these expectations, if not met, have consequences. 00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:54.399 Uh and what that did was that put the whole uh onus on the kid to say, okay, I know the expectation, I know the consequence of it, and this is what I'm gonna sit in. 00:21:54.480 --> 00:22:00.879 And so I wish I would have had that when I was younger, a younger dad, uh, been able to use it, but it's something that's kind of stuck with me since then. 00:22:00.959 --> 00:22:12.720 Um I had another photo, I'm not gonna pull it up there yet, uh, but uh if you got it, I was uh I was pastoring a church here in Chelsea, and um I'm gonna pick on Drew because he's up front right here. 00:22:12.879 --> 00:22:16.879 And uh he was by far my craziest kid when it came to trouble. 00:22:16.959 --> 00:22:18.399 Well, there it is actually. 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:22.079 So this was definitely a Drew episode. 00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:23.439 Caleb might have been there. 00:22:23.919 --> 00:22:24.559 Were you not there? 00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:27.919 Oh, come on now. 00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:30.720 Well, I'll tell you some things he was in. 00:22:30.879 --> 00:22:34.319 Um, I get a call one night that um it's like three o'clock in the morning. 00:22:34.480 --> 00:22:36.879 Shelby County Sheriff, um, hey Mr. 00:22:37.039 --> 00:22:41.119 Knight, your your son's not in trouble, neither are his friends. 00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:43.519 I just want to tell you, nobody's hurt, nobody's in trouble. 00:22:43.679 --> 00:22:44.799 They're good kids. 00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.199 Um I have them pulled over down here. 00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:48.639 It's like three o'clock in the morning. 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:49.519 I didn't know where they were at. 00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:50.480 I didn't know they were gone. 00:22:50.639 --> 00:22:58.240 They snuck out, and Drew used to like go into the creeks with lights on his on his head and machetes and go snake hunting. 00:22:58.480 --> 00:23:00.799 And so it's three o'clock in the morning. 00:23:00.879 --> 00:23:07.599 They're walking down the side of 39 with no shirt on, shorts, mud all the way up to here with lights on their head and machetes. 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:12.319 You know, just, I mean, right on right on the white line, you know. 00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:17.439 And he said, they have done nothing illegal, but it just doesn't look good at 3 o'clock in the morning. 00:23:17.679 --> 00:23:19.599 So you were in that one, weren't you? 00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:20.559 I knew it. 00:23:20.799 --> 00:23:23.359 So there were several things they did totally crazy. 00:23:23.439 --> 00:23:25.759 I'm not going to tell the Walmart story right here. 00:23:26.399 --> 00:23:28.480 I will tell the Walmart story while we're here. 00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:30.959 So I just pick on Drew, he's up front. 00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:32.000 So I get another call. 00:23:32.079 --> 00:23:33.599 I'm pastoring a church now this time. 00:23:33.679 --> 00:23:35.919 So it just really looks bad in the community, you know. 00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:41.759 So I get a call that Drew's supposed to be, he and Michael are supposed to be um behind the church playing basketball. 00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:42.559 So I'm over at the house. 00:23:42.639 --> 00:23:43.519 They can't have a ride. 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:44.959 They're in eighth grade. 00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:50.639 And so I get a call from Walmart's Inventory Control, uh, and they say, and that's not a good sign either. 00:23:50.720 --> 00:23:52.159 This is not a good thing, you know. 00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:55.519 And they say, hey, I've got your uh I've got your sons down here. 00:23:55.599 --> 00:23:57.919 Uh and and it they've been caught shoplifting. 00:23:58.000 --> 00:23:58.879 And I said, There's no way. 00:23:58.959 --> 00:24:01.119 I said, they're they're across the street playing basketball. 00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:02.959 They can even drive, you know. 00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:04.079 And I said, What do they look like? 00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:05.679 And she said, Well, one's white, one's black. 00:24:05.759 --> 00:24:07.759 And I was like, But dad gum, that sounds like them. 00:24:08.079 --> 00:24:14.399 So I drive down to Walmart, and sure enough, they're in the little inventory control. 00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:17.679 The doors on the right, there's a little inventory control room, and they got them in there. 00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:22.000 And and what they what they what they stole, I was like, that's the dumbest things ever. 00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:28.000 Like, they stole two knockoff Crocs shoes, two squirt guns, and a rotisserie chicken. 00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:34.799 And I would have bought any of those for them, like I would have bought all that, you know? 00:24:34.959 --> 00:24:37.519 The pluses of Walmart brands, they'd be really cheap. 00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:41.599 This was another one that the the photo that was up there. 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:47.199 Um, I was really hoping I got that call right there, and like one of them um was driving. 00:24:47.359 --> 00:24:59.279 They weren't old enough to drive yet, and Michael was just 15 years old, and so Michael was driving, and so I get that that call on that one, and I realize where they're at, and where they're at basically the snow cone place right there by the uh fireworks. 00:24:59.359 --> 00:25:01.279 So it's really middle of Chelsea. 00:25:01.679 --> 00:25:02.720 Couldn't be a worse time. 00:25:02.879 --> 00:25:06.159 Five o'clock in the afternoon, everybody's getting off work, traffic's backed up. 00:25:06.399 --> 00:25:14.559 And so I'm hoping, like heck, that when I get there, it's just one officer pulled to the side and he's sitting down with them at a table, whatever. 00:25:14.639 --> 00:25:16.480 They were just driving a car at 15, you know. 00:25:16.639 --> 00:25:25.839 And I get down there and I top the tracks, and it's like a bank robbery, like all those, all of those trucks were pulled in like with lights on, those SUVs and whatnot. 00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:32.559 But, you know, when those things happen, it's it's you know, how do we deal with that expectation and the consequence of that expectation? 00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:41.359 And I think God has uh laid out a good way for us to discipline our children uh in a way that causes them to bear fruit in their life and them to be uh great people. 00:25:41.439 --> 00:25:43.359 Drew's turned into the most amazing young man. 00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:47.439 He'd be 23 in August, and uh a lot of crazy stuff happen. 00:25:47.919 --> 00:25:53.839 But I think, you know, through discipline and through uh just maturity, you know, God's grown you into who you are. 00:25:54.399 --> 00:25:56.959 A father is going to encourage his children. 00:25:57.119 --> 00:25:58.159 He's gonna encourage his children. 00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:04.879 This is huge right here, because a father's words mean so much to a kid as far as whether they believe in themselves or not. 00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:07.039 Like encouragement has to come from dad. 00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:09.919 You've got to make that something you do intentionally. 00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:18.079 It says in Colossians 3.21, fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. 00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:21.919 Like there's a link to fatherhood and encouragement and discouragement. 00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:35.199 And there's a way that you can push your kid to a place of discouragement, and that'll come out in every other relationship in his life, in his friendships, and how he handles teachers at school and how he handles marriage, all that stuff comes all from encouragement or discouragement. 00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:44.559 So even if we get great wisdom from the scriptures about being a dad, we will still fail at times as a dad. 00:26:44.799 --> 00:27:01.519 And I I've started to look back and try to go through some of the dads in scripture, and um, you know, hopefully we could look at dads in scripture and see that they were just amazing heroes that did everything right, and you know, they didn't have any, didn't have any failures or anything like that. 00:27:01.679 --> 00:27:14.480 And the more I looked at the dads, whether it was, you know, Adam just had, you know, two kids and there ended up being murdered there, you know, you don't blame that him as a father, but you do look at it as you know what was not said or conveyed well. 00:27:14.559 --> 00:27:18.159 Uh you got Noah who wasn't much further after that, you know. 00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:19.679 He sees the goodness of God. 00:27:19.919 --> 00:27:28.399 God has him building an ark for a hundred years, um floating for 40 days in rain that he's never seen in his life. 00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:40.799 You'd think that, you know, you would probably be the most amazing person in a not fell and have all the faith in the world of the Lord, and he ends up in his tent naked and drunk uh as soon as he's done. 00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:45.279 Probably not the thing you would expect from somebody who just saw the goodness of God in the most amazing way. 00:27:45.439 --> 00:27:48.079 Um, you had David and Absalom. 00:27:48.159 --> 00:27:49.919 Um, let's see, I had some more written down here. 00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:57.759 You had David and Absalon, uh, you had Solomon, Eli, Samuel, and then you had Jacob with Joseph as his favorite. 00:27:57.919 --> 00:28:04.319 Probably didn't do everything exactly right with Joseph as his favorite, and how that pertains to the relationships that Joseph had. 00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:07.359 So here's my advice on all these things we just talked about. 00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:13.199 As a dad who's been blessed with an extravagant amount of kids, but has failed many times in my life. 00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:18.559 This would be my best advice and advice from a place of failure at times. 00:28:18.959 --> 00:28:20.799 Dads, give yourself some grace. 00:28:20.879 --> 00:28:22.079 You are human. 00:28:23.199 --> 00:28:29.039 Live out your life in front of your kids in a way that's not just words alone. 00:28:29.199 --> 00:28:32.559 Let them like see your life, live it out in front of them. 00:28:33.359 --> 00:28:40.799 Put more effort and importance into how you live out your life in front of your kids than you do just your words alone. 00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:47.759 Um I wrote here, how you treat them, how you treat others, how you treat their mom, your time with the Lord, that's something they see. 00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:49.519 And I saw my granny with that. 00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:53.359 She was amazing with having her Bible out, her time with the Lord, she wasn't going to miss it. 00:28:53.439 --> 00:28:59.359 And it it just translated into her life being amazing, an amazing person that followed the Lord. 00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:03.599 Um, one of my favorite quotes here is uh from John Kroll. 00:29:03.679 --> 00:29:12.799 If you'll know John Kroll from the Big Oaks Ranch, uh John Kroll said this: He said, Your example will always outlive your words when it comes to your children. 00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:23.279 Like you can tell them over and over and over again advice over and over again, but your example, what they're gonna see in you and through you, is always gonna outlive any words that you can speak to them. 00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:27.039 Discipline from a motivation of love. 00:29:27.439 --> 00:29:29.439 Try to discipline from a motivation of love. 00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:39.039 Somebody helped me with this one time, uh, and and I love um the way they put it because you get some encouragement with it, but you also get to rebuke your children and discipline like you should. 00:29:39.119 --> 00:29:41.119 Uh but it was the two-in-one method. 00:29:41.199 --> 00:29:49.919 Uh find two things that they're doing good when you sit down to discipline them and tell their man, you're doing this so well, and you're doing this other thing, you pick this up so good. 00:29:50.079 --> 00:29:51.759 So there's some encouragement there. 00:29:51.919 --> 00:29:56.240 But I'm really disappointed with where we are right here and this decision that was made right here. 00:29:56.399 --> 00:30:03.839 And so when kids see that, you know, they're doing some things well, you know, it's a lot of them just take off and they say, Well, I'm just doing this one thing wrong. 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:05.439 Uh, I can pick that up, you know. 00:30:05.519 --> 00:30:06.959 So you get some encouragement with it. 00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:08.879 It's the two-in-one philosophy. 00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:13.039 Don't just be present at home, actually be present in their lives. 00:30:13.119 --> 00:30:14.879 Uh, because as dads, we can get busy. 00:30:14.959 --> 00:30:17.519 I am probably the world's worst, even to this day. 00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:23.119 I get over the camp and I'm 14 hours, and by the time I look up, it's eight or nine o'clock. 00:30:23.359 --> 00:30:24.799 I'm coming in late. 00:30:24.959 --> 00:30:27.599 I got to see my granddaughter, you know, all day long. 00:30:27.679 --> 00:30:30.000 I should take a minute to do that. 00:30:30.159 --> 00:30:30.959 But we get busy. 00:30:31.039 --> 00:30:34.559 We have hobbies, we have things we work on, we have honeydew lists, all that. 00:30:34.720 --> 00:30:36.720 Uh, but you're only going to get one shot with your kids. 00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:38.079 You've got to take it. 00:30:38.720 --> 00:30:40.959 Uh be a father to the fatherless. 00:30:41.199 --> 00:30:48.399 You know, some people in here have someone fatherless, a next-door neighbor, somebody in their life that doesn't have a father figure. 00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:49.679 You can pick that up. 00:30:49.919 --> 00:30:57.279 Like, as the Bible says in Psalms that God sets the lonely in families, I believe that God puts together people where they have father figures in their life. 00:30:57.519 --> 00:30:59.199 Like a Paul and Timothy. 00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:06.879 I mean, you're just gonna have those things that you have, you have one shot with your arrow. 00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:09.839 Don't take that opportunity for granted. 00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:10.959