KYS
Get into the mess that is the KYS pod (Kourtesan's Yap Sesh, not the other thing. Unless.....)
KYS
Top 3 Ways to KYS
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Cola, Karmella and Cristina yap then rank their top 3's in listener submitted categories.
See, this is a hot take, but I thought when Hillary said, Pokemon, go to the polls. I thought that was really funny. I thought that was a really fucking funny thing for her to say. I know what you did last week, Jerry Cherry. I went to Freaknick in Hotland and turned the mother up! So you didn't go to Freaknick. You may get another pathetic stab at me. Does the title booze cut the doodle to monster ring a bell?
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00You know, there's been a lot of talk lately about homosexuals, but how do you know what to believe? Well, here are a few tips that may help you tell when you've got a gay. So, uh, what's your favorite Madonna album? I like her early work. If his answer is anything but I've never bought one, you've got a gay.
SPEAKER_05Even Nair can't remove all that shit. Bitch, you look like fish. Oh wow.
SPEAKER_06Oh wow. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Maybe later. Um I was just gonna say that. Is this recording? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well well, whatever. Um, I just bought one of those things that you can put Nair on and put it on your back and like scrub your back so you can get everything off. Oh, I need that.
SPEAKER_05Are you gonna get Asada to do that for you?
SPEAKER_06No, you do it yourself. That's the point. So Asada doesn't have to shave her back anymore.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I mean, I can't afford that anymore. You know what I mean? He can shave my back anytime he wants.
unknownBitch.
SPEAKER_05I love that.
SPEAKER_04I need something because I don't have a hairy back, but there's enough hair for there for me to be concerned.
SPEAKER_06I hear.
SPEAKER_04It's not concerning to have to.
SPEAKER_06I hear that you can't grow hair. Your little twink told me that.
SPEAKER_04Uh yeah, because my thighs are pretty much hairless. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05It's because they rub together.
SPEAKER_04Like and they harmonize.
SPEAKER_05Do you know why is he going around talking about my body?
SPEAKER_06Because he was staring at he was staring at my legs, and I don't have hair on the bottom of my legs. But that is from years of being an emo kid and wearing skinny jeans for like 10 years.
SPEAKER_05Maybe that's maybe that's why mine's like that. Did you wear tight as fuck pants so you don't grow hair on your thighs anymore? For a very long time, yeah. Oh my goodness. That shot went a long way.
SPEAKER_06It's it should we do another one?
SPEAKER_05I'm feeling warm and toasty. Should we? Is that danger? Should we do a half? Let's do a howdy. Half one. Of what? Maybe we'll wait.
SPEAKER_03Shut the hell up.
SPEAKER_06Well, I'm feeling good.
SPEAKER_05How are y'all feeling? I feel great. I feel better now. I'm should we should we do an official intro?
SPEAKER_06Hello, hello, hello, everyone. If you haven't guessed it already, you're already listening to KYS Courteson's Yap Sesh. My name is Carmela. I'm sitting here with the hairless naked mole rat Christina Bang. Bitch, you look like fish. Oh wow. Oh wow.
SPEAKER_05Hi, baby. How are you? I'm doing so good, Lois. How are you? I am living. Are you having a fantastic weekend? I've had such a great time with you recently. And all the girls, even.
SPEAKER_06You know, I was going to say the same thing. I think that you coming back for hot mess has really reignited our little sisterhood that me, you, and cola have.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_06We're also sitting here with Cola Fizz.
SPEAKER_05Hey, Miss Girl. Hey. How are you feeling? I feel good. How's that shot? It was good. Is it shootin'? It it was shot and it was accepted. It's shootin' and bootin' and rootin' and tootin'. Is that what you needed? I think so. It's been a slow burn of an increase of energy today. Now I'm finally feeling like I've arrived. It's the drugs hitting. I love that.
SPEAKER_06I love that for us. Good for this family.
SPEAKER_05All the very various substances.
SPEAKER_06Cola, how do you feel? Do you feel the the same way that Christina's return sort of rekindled our lovely sisterhood friendship?
SPEAKER_05Well, yes, of course, because when you don't see someone for two years, there's not really much going on. But we've been seeing a lot of her for the last few months. And so of course it's like we are so back. And it's been it's been so fun, especially the last month. We are to a hundred. I love having the band back together. That's what it feels like.
SPEAKER_04Me too. And like actually hanging out and stuff makes the makes the pod more fun because we have things to talk about that we've experienced together.
SPEAKER_06It feels like the threesome. It it feels yeah. Well, we'll get into that. We won't go there. Um, but it does feel like the the very first era of IKTR when we when we first started that. Um, I don't know, it's just a really good time. And I think we're all different and better people now, so we can continue this, you know, way better than we used to.
SPEAKER_05And I do and I do feel like um we picked up right where we left off. Honestly, yeah. I mean, Carmel and I didn't go anywhere. Right. Yeah. But like even towards the end of IKTR, I was already not going to the shows, dropping out of gigs, but I would still do the pod, so I would just like ask you, like, okay, girl, how was it? But now I know how it was for me, from my perspective. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Well, you're going through a lot of personal stuff too.
SPEAKER_05And now I am living. You've been out and about every Saturday night since. Are you living?
SPEAKER_06Are you living laughing, loving, like?
SPEAKER_05I love life. I have so many great things happening for me. Oh my gosh. KYS is just the title after all. I have an amazing job. I um Rich. That's pretty much it. You know, I love drag again. You know, that is that is that can really change a person. Money is the key to happiness. Hey. I'm telling you. And I'll share the wealth, honey. You're gonna save so many lives. She's looking for a sugar baby.
SPEAKER_04Can we talk about OpenStage? Yes.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Open Stage was really fun. And my new baby, Clinton, Clintina Bang.
SPEAKER_06Is it official? Are we are we aunties?
SPEAKER_05It is. I think we made that official at um at uh what's it fucking called? The chop Dumpling Master. Yeah. Okay. So Clinton has been helping me as my drag twink, and he's a dancer, so obviously he wants to do drag. Giggity. So I got him in guiche. He looked fine. I thought he looked cute, he looked like um passable woman aphasia. He looks better than he would have. Oh my gosh, yes. This is the mustache. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04He looks better than he would have had he done it on his own. Of course. Which, you know, I kind of toyed with Am I robbing him of an authentic first drag experience?
SPEAKER_05No, you were the drag mother experience.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Not everyone has that. We didn't have that. We don't have that. We don't have drag mothers.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. You know, the first time that I did a drag show, I w I went over to Delirious House and Oh, I left a good job.
SPEAKER_05So we roll it on the cellboard.
SPEAKER_06And she had been doing drag at that point for maybe three or four years, maybe not quite that long, but that bitch made me do everything by myself. Like start to finish. And I look like I have been sucking dick on the highway since 2 30 in the evening. Well, you were doing that. Well, that was that was, but yeah, you you giving him that drag mother experience.
SPEAKER_05Like, that's a lucky thing, I think. Like I sat there, I painted him. And then you did his makeup. And then I did his makeup. I it it's fun having a drag child because he's my second. Damien was my first drag child. Did you and Damien not start at the same time? Well, I started I was like a year in, and then I did his makeup and stuff. That's not really mother. It was it was babies having babies.
SPEAKER_06Right. Which we have talked about. Babies. I'm sure we have. Quit having babies.
SPEAKER_05But you know, he he did what he did. Because Carmela and I have had our lineage of several many, and now you have your baby, and we have a niece. Well, I've loved being an auntie for the longest. Yeah. Because I don't have any real responsibility. Yeah. But now I'm a mother. Now I have to take care of this little fucking twink. He had a great time. He made more money than I've ever made in a number. Well, he did a 720-degree jump split.
SPEAKER_04And he told all his friends to bring him 20s.
SPEAKER_05So that's oh, and all his friends said the show was flop except for you. Is that not fucking crazy? Yeah, let's talk about that. Fucking faggots? That was rude. I wanted to beat him up. That is rude. He he was like telling them, like, no, everyone's great. He was being that's fine. Clitney, I'm watching you. Like, it is is wonderful to support your friend, but I don't think you should put down any other part of the show. Because I didn't think the show was flop. I thought the show was fabulous. I didn't see it, but I know in my heart it wasn't a flop. Were you not there? I was there, but I was like getting him together pretty much. She was mothering. Oh yes, that's right. The entire time leading up to his number, I was getting him ready. Afterward, like he I carried him to the dressing room because his fucking feet were hurting and he had like his little meat.
SPEAKER_04Am I out of my mind? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05You carried him. Yeah. You carried that adult man on your on your on your back? In my arms. Oh my god. Like a princess?
SPEAKER_06Like a baby? Like you were swaddling a baby.
SPEAKER_05Christine, I need you to get a grip. No, she was great. Um, friend requests and some open stages. Yes, she did sign up for friend requests. And she's talking about hot mess, so she could do talking. She could do hot mess six in a year and a half. So if she keeps, then we'll Oh my god. I love it. It's one of my kinks on sniffies. Oh my god, is it really? No, I looked at it. It did not say that. It did not say that. I need to update it. I'm evolving as a person. Christina. It did say delivery guy. Do not like. Hey, look, of course I do. Shout out to Samage.
SPEAKER_06Hey, Queen. Hey.
SPEAKER_05I've been I was a delivery driver for a month in college. When I was DoorDashing, all I wanted to do was suck some fucking dick. Oh, I would have loved to do that. But everyone just wants it dropped off at their door. I would have loved. Well, yes.
SPEAKER_04And anytime I tried to be, you know, ass up when they opened the door, I got a bad rating.
SPEAKER_05Well.
unknownGiggity.
SPEAKER_05But um. What were the who were the other divas of the open stage? Oh god. Um trying to think. Because there any debuts? Uh besides Clitney, I don't they're mmm.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_05Derangel? Derangel was was on a debut. I mean, they had never been at performed at church before, but church debut, right? Because I did see Clitney's friend um Anita Dickon. What's her name? I can't remember.
SPEAKER_04Sofonda Cox? No, that's one else.
SPEAKER_05Connor.
SPEAKER_04Connor, yeah. Something about. I know who you're talking about. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Oh. Are you serious? Arya Serious. Which. Formerly Arya Uncut. Aria Uncut, yeah. Aria Uncut. She was lovely. Oh, yeah. She was really sweet. She's very sweet. Um, because she was the one I went to see at the Showgirl show. Yeah. Where I just stood at the bar and talked to Lewis the whole time. Yeah. That was that was her church debut too. She messaged us after and was like, thank you so much. I had so much fun. You guys were so nice. And I was like, Yeah, take that, you fucking bitches. Yeah. Ha ha.
unknownHa ha.
SPEAKER_05What else has happened since because we recorded three weeks ago. It's been a minute. It's been a while.
SPEAKER_01I haven't put out a hit in a while.
SPEAKER_06Um so what's happened? Uh really with me, I've just been working and I'm up to my eyeballs in dick-shaped candy. So candy cock.
SPEAKER_05If you if you have a sweet tooth, come by Sexy Sue's and Oh, yeah. Please go buy these uh lollipops. She is swimming in them. How big are they?
SPEAKER_06They're they're pretty big.
SPEAKER_05I mean they're they're probably Christina Sniffy's big. Okay. Six inches all around. Yeah. Wow. Rock hard. Christina and I co-hosted the July 4th Big Sexy 250 extravaganza. That was really fun. We made out. So fun, yeah. We did a lip sync battle to untouched and we made out and I busted my lip. I saw that. You were like pummeling on each other. Yeah. I haven't felt the touch of a man in a while, so well and you didn't and you didn't that night either. No, I didn't. It was a beautiful woman.
SPEAKER_04Okay, you're when you leaned over to me and said, Your dick is poking me in the b no. When you leaned over to me and said, Let's do a lip sync battle, I thought, oh, what a great idea.
SPEAKER_05Cause it was so fucking fun. And I picked the song for us. Mm-hmm. Which was a great song. Untouched by the Veronicas. It's one of my go-to's anyway. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Fitting.
SPEAKER_05And then on the mic, because a lot of the Hot Mess babies were there, so I was like teasing, like, oh, we just finished Hot Mess. So in the spirit of Hot Mess, Kolar and I are gonna lip sync battle. And we did kind of plan the kiss before. Sort of, but everything else was not planned. It was in the moment that we found that in the moment. And I polled the audience. I lost. Cola did send me home. Wow. Yes. Which just invigorated my desire to train for an upcoming lip sync battle. Ooh, yes, a big secret lip sync battle. I thought it would be fun recently, not including that one, to have like a sort of reverse bloodbath night where it's us and Samaj and maybe four other of like our peers, and then the judge's panel is like Mary Jane Hayes, Siren, and Mona. I love that. Oh my gosh, that would be fun. Hosted by whoever, you know.
SPEAKER_04We should get uh Jacqueline. And that's it.
SPEAKER_06You guys call in. Do you want to see us battle?
SPEAKER_05Hmm. Sounds fun. Ooh, I would love to. I wish uh Jen Sparks would do it. Well, she doesn't acknowledge our existence. So yeah, it's fine. It's fine. We love love at KYS. So yeah, the July 4th show was really fun.
SPEAKER_04I was glad it wasn't like as hot as I thought it was going to be.
SPEAKER_05It wasn't until we smooshed our mouths together.
SPEAKER_04That picture of me with your lips all over my face. Mm-hmm. The makeup. Yeah, it looked insane. Yeah. I looked crazy. And I lived for it. And I did my first. No, because my first number was at IT. But my first number back at church.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you did a I guess we could call it a dip.
SPEAKER_04Well, it was supposed to be campy.
SPEAKER_05Oh, okay. Well, there you go.
SPEAKER_04It was supposed to look bad. What dip bro? Your blood shovel. I did, um, because I recently binged Hax. Hax is so fucking good.
SPEAKER_05Who wants another martini? Who wants another martini? It's martini hour at KYS. Carm, have you seen? Have you seen Hacks? No. It's so fucking good. It's got Gene Smart. No. I haven't seen that. Well, so I've been obsessed with Next Alter, so obviously I did. Prettiest girl in America. Yes. Yes. I've heard you talk about that before. And I did indeed slay, in my opinion. She did slay. I love that. I'm so sad that I missed it. I was celebrating um that's fine.
SPEAKER_06Um, Night of the Living Dead, Fourth of July. With your dad. With my dad.
SPEAKER_05Which is fine. I love I love my dad and everything, and it's cool, but it was just boring. We were like we're like, oh we're having so fun, so much fun at the 4th of July show, and Carmelo just sends a picture of her dad sleeping on the couch. No, I literally did, but you know, when are we gonna get these moments again? So and when do you want those moments again? Who wants another martini? He needs to do a number. Where's your dad live? Virginia? He lives in South Carolina. It's a little bit outside of Charlotte, very close to the Borda.
SPEAKER_04But I I fucking lived for that show. I lived for Transcendence as well. Like this. I think Tina is great, and I can't wait for her to be a permanent Athens resident.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I cannot believe she did a 12 or 11, she did an 11-week run at church.
SPEAKER_04And it would have been 12 had she not gotten sick.
SPEAKER_05That is crazy.
SPEAKER_06I don't think I can't remember the last time I did 12 in a row.
SPEAKER_04I was about to say, have any of us done 12 in a row? Well, I have. Oh well, not me.
SPEAKER_06Not you. Have you have you done two in a row?
SPEAKER_04Yes, I can't take it. Well, I guess technically hot mess.
SPEAKER_05I meant shows, not cocks. I mean, you did all eight weeks of hot mess. Yeah. Well, that's not true. You and Samaj alternated, but you were there every time. I attended every week.
SPEAKER_06She did. And that was it the last week? Or no, it was the pageant week that I passed away. But you it was five-day five-day hangover part two for Miss Christina the book.
SPEAKER_05Honestly, this time it was just weed.
SPEAKER_04It was literally just a joint that I hit too many times. But she greened out.
SPEAKER_05You said I have to drive home.
SPEAKER_04Well, I hopped in an Uber. Oh, good. And I felt so bad because the contestants were lining up outside the door for like the I think it was the runway, and I was just passing by. Christina.
SPEAKER_06Christina that night was like, Carm, like, since Cola's not here, I'm gonna help you with the addition and like adding up the scores. I was just like, okay, work. And then I'm like, okay, it's time to add up the scores. And I get a text from Christina right at that moment that's just like, hey girl, I'm in an Uber. I can't I can't do this. And I was like, what the fuck? So I get everyone from the um the table. I'm like, y'all bitches are adding up y'all's scores, and then you're telling them to me because I'm not doing this. And we ended that night at 140.
SPEAKER_05That's fierce.
SPEAKER_06The whole night.
SPEAKER_05You couldn't even last that long. You made English teacher Hazel Moon do math.
SPEAKER_06I did. And we would have ended at 1.35 if I had done it myself.
SPEAKER_04I just I felt so bad that I offered that, but honestly, at that point, I couldn't do addition. I couldn't even like control my bowels at that point.
SPEAKER_05You were on an You were in an Uber to Jupiter.
SPEAKER_04I was so fucking drunk. And usually when I'm because I don't Are you crossed because you smoke that joint too? Yeah, and I don't smoke weed. I don't do that.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that's right, I remember.
SPEAKER_04But I do when I'm drunk because I can take it. But it sounds like maybe you can't. No, I can't. I think I was just I was r really drunk and really high. Because usually I'll get really drunk and a little high.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_05Well, you know, everything in moderation.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I I'm just done. I'm I'm I'm good never smoking weed again in my life.
SPEAKER_05Ugh, bite your tongue.
SPEAKER_04I I like so.
SPEAKER_05Well, what are we doing today?
SPEAKER_04Okay, so last night at the pregame for the show we went to last night, I posted a prompt on the KYS pod. I wanted categories for us to rank our top threes of certain things and such as.
SPEAKER_05And and such as and su where did this idea come from? Um who suggested it? Was it you? Yeah, I said it would be cute because and this is probably coming later, but we are doing an episode that is ranking some hot mess attributes, and I thought it would be cute for the mailbag to do top three of whatever. So here we are. And you were right. So we're just gonna, I guess, go through these things. So we'll go around the table.
SPEAKER_04Um, the same order from the circle jerk earlier. Well, first we're gonna go around the table and do a shot.
SPEAKER_05Yes, we're gonna christen this mailbag with a shot. It's our first mailbag of the season. You're dripping alcohol every which way, Miss Girl. I'm so wasting it. Alright, let's not get too excited.
SPEAKER_06Cheers.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so we posted the prompt, and I think, you know, of course, we need to start with our favorite rotted um winner, Blair Minimum.
SPEAKER_05Top three ways to KYS. Tune in every other Thursday.
SPEAKER_06Uh, I would say Apple Podcasts, um, Spotify Podcasts, and if you really want the file, you can DM us.
SPEAKER_05You can also listen from your web browser. Did you know that? Oh no, I did not know that. I don't know how to, but some people have figured it out because it shows up in the analytics. Um, another way is anyway. Oh, love him. Anyway. Oh, so we have top threes. So yeah, we're gonna. Thank you, Blair, so much for your lovely question. I'm so glad it didn't work out for you when you tried.
SPEAKER_04Okay, this one comes from uh Siren Song. Your top three nostalgic yet deeply problematic movies from your childhood. Which I think is it problem is Mrs.
SPEAKER_05Doubtfire problematic? I've never seen it. Not at all. That's one of my favorite movies, and one of my favorite characters to do. Why why do you pose the question? Like, what do you think about it? Could you just in the like deep analysis of dragon media and the concept of transness, the only representation that happened for a long time was men dressing up to like be funny, or it's it's like the butt of the joke. Yeah, I get that. But it's a good ass movie.
SPEAKER_04And I love Harvey Fire.
SPEAKER_05I love Harvey Fire's. Also, I think for that it's not it's not like just hee hee ha ha, he's like a man in a dress. He like it was like a means to an end. He was doing it to like see his kids.
SPEAKER_06To see his family, yeah. I don't think he was like the butt of the family.
SPEAKER_05I mean I guess it is the whole main joke of the movie is Robin Williams in drag. Yeah. That is like the whole point.
SPEAKER_04A man dressing like a woman is supposed to be funny.
SPEAKER_05Yes. And it is funny. But that's not that's not what trans is. Be boys. Be boys. That's not what trans is. Though. That's women being women. Robin Williams is a man dressed as a woman. Yeah. Is white chicks problematic? I don't think so. No. I don't think it's problematic. If it was the opposite, yes, but oh my god. White people aren't oppressed. For sure. No matter how many times Erica Kurt tries to tell us that she is. Okay, what other Pocahontas?
unknownOh yeah.
SPEAKER_05Pocahontas, yeah. That's one of your faves, though. Or do you still wait for me, dream giver? Just around the river.
SPEAKER_06I'm trying to think of any movies that I've seen when I was a kid that didn't really hold up. Like I know um I wasn't really a huge fan of it, but the ace ventura thing, I know there's a a thing in there where they really rip on trans people. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but yeah, I haven't seen that either. Yeah, I hear it.
SPEAKER_05I know about it.
SPEAKER_06It hasn't held up. Also, Titanic. I mean, what the hell? Is that problematic? They could have just gone around it. I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_05Are you victim blaming the ship?
SPEAKER_06I am. You know what? They could have learned to swim.
SPEAKER_05I don't think that's what it was. I think it was the hypothermia. Do you know what that means?
SPEAKER_06I do know what that means. I'm experiencing it now.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah. In Christina's Christina's apartments really.
SPEAKER_06Christina's reptile fucking cage.
SPEAKER_05In. For those of you that don't know, because you aren't here, Carmilla is wearing a beautiful dusty pastel blue wig.
SPEAKER_06This is actually my hair. It's really gorgeous. Thank you very much. Um, if you look at the KYS story, you can probably see it.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you look at the KYS story two weeks ago. From two weeks ago, you can see it. If you know, you know. And maybe you do. Christina, are you back from the dead, back from the dead? Back from the dead, back back from the dead. There she is. My apologies. Um, okay. I heard Titanic be brought up. And do you have something to say about it? It's my favorite movie of all time. Is it? I love Titanic for real. Near far wherever you are.
SPEAKER_04If you wonder why I am the way I am, it's because of that movie. Because I saw a woman fall in love with a man over the course of three days. Yes. Which many such cases. By the way. That has informed how I go about relationships in life.
SPEAKER_05If you don't love me within three days, if you don't fuck me in the back of a Model T. And if you don't kiss her on the mouth. Fiercely. If you don't stop me from killing myself. I'll kiss you on the mouth. On my hot mouth? Yeah. On her south mouth. Yeah. I think the the ace ventura thing is very it's a very popular example of problematic shit.
SPEAKER_04The Pocahontas thing too, revisionist history. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05That bitch was 12 years old when she got married off to whatever his name is. John Smith. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Well.
SPEAKER_05Colors of the Wind makes me cry. So. I do love that drink. I love that drink. Problematic movies. Do you what uh what was your like go-to repeat movie that you would watch when you were a kid? Because I was a Star Wars kid. This is not problematic. I mean, I guess maybe to a degree. Anastasia. Love Anastasia. Seen it a thousand times. That's kind of like spooky, right? In certain f for that kind of movie. Yeah. For like that. It was not a Disney movie. It's not Disney, but it's in the the tradition of the, you know, Disney Renaissance animated movies. Yeah. Resputin was scary. Well, like, it's scary.
SPEAKER_04In the spirit of movies, Halacia wants us to list our top three horror movies. Which I watched Chucky at a very young age. But I will say my the movie that scared the shit out of me the most was E.T.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05I'm still like Is that a horror movie? No, but like to her it is. That r uh crinkly wrinkly, which now when I see a dick that looks like that, I live. But looks like a scrotum. Yeah. So now I love. But even now, as a 28-year-old man, when I see a picture of E.T., I get fucking scared. Really? He's supposed to be lovable and sweet. To me, he wasn't. I mean, why do you think I get so weird when Sacchar's around?
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god. Why would you do that to her? She was such a good guest. And you don't appreciate her for whatever she does. She's not Wrinkly. Who's Wrinkly?
SPEAKER_06Well. Um.
SPEAKER_05The amount of bleeps y'all are about to hear and quick succession. Oh, she's not wrinkly. She fills out all her wrinkles. Pretty good. She's like a beast whale. Um, I recently, the other day, watched Long Legs, and it was a I thought it was a really good scary movie. Is that the one with Mr. Man? Yeah. The national treasurer? Yes. Nicholas Cage. Yeah. Unrecognizable. I thought it was really good.
SPEAKER_06Not a sulc and clock.
SPEAKER_05Have y'all seen the one with the kids running? Um, with the witch. What's her fucking name? A lot of uh people have done like a drag number of her. What? Sorry. La Yorona? Is that who it is? No, it's a recent one. Um I also love Silence of the Lambs. Oh, that's I love Silence of the Lambs. Long Legs is very clearly inspired by Silence of the Lambs. I love the Halloween franchise. That's probably my favorite. I mean Jamie Lee Curtis. I've I've seen all of the Halloweens. Oh, Coraline. You've even seen the third one that doesn't have a minute.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, Season of the Witch.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I think my favorite Halloween is number four. Like that one's really good. It's very much peak 80s horror. And like the vibe is very Halloween. The rest of the movie's not so much.
SPEAKER_04But I let's see.
SPEAKER_05And Chucky. I love all the Chuckies too. Y'all like Coraline?
SPEAKER_04I is that a horror movie?
SPEAKER_05For like kids. I don't uh no. You don't like it? No. Really? I've never seen it, so I don't know. It's really good. It's stop motion. I did watch all of the Nightmare on Elm Streets last year, too. I love some Freddy. I love Freddy. He's a drag queen. He is. He's Lori Divine. We don't need to Why? Because he's You can run, but you can't hide, bitch.
unknownBitch.
SPEAKER_05My god.
SPEAKER_04I need to see a fierce like nightmare on Elm Street drag number.
SPEAKER_05We're not really giving our top threes. We're really just talking about certain things. That's what the pot is. It's fine. We are giving our top three horror movies. Yeah, I guess. To a degree. I think probably the most like the scariest movie I've seen is the one with those fucking kids in the videos. Um, sinister. Yes. Yeah, that is really scary. I saw that in theaters and it was very scary.
SPEAKER_04The first time I ever sucked it was with that movie in the background.
SPEAKER_06Really?
SPEAKER_05Were you in the theater? No, I was on the floor of the bedroom.
SPEAKER_06Oh.
SPEAKER_05Well, well, nothing it was a sinister time. Nothing, nothing to get you going. We were on the floor and my mom was in the bed.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_06Going up the stairs and going down the stairs.
SPEAKER_05And Tammy could hear it. She was flicking the bean fiercely. I'm so sorry that I said that. Tammy. Is that not her name? It's Tina. I always get it backwards. I love this bit. It's not a bit. It's just not a bit. This is my life. Okay. Um, he was just here, so let's do um the icon Tristan. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04This is not a username, wants to know our top three hot mess weeks. Which my number one is obviously the roast.
SPEAKER_05And I really hope we can do it again.
SPEAKER_04We're not. We're not gonna do it at um the 41.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I thought you meant in all stars. Oh no, I don't care for that. No. Yeah, we'll do it at the 41. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Sometime. Roast night is my top number one. And Carmilla, I wish you could have done a set, because I feel like you would eat a roast. And it looks like you really loved.
SPEAKER_05What did I like?
SPEAKER_04I mean, all the finales are amazing. I feel like those shouldn't count.
SPEAKER_05I mean, there's rarely a week I don't like. I think the hot mess season five um semifinals. Oh, 613 ball. Yes, that one was really good for me. I also loved the All-Stars Bloodbath. Brittany.
SPEAKER_06Yes, of course.
SPEAKER_05I loved the Hot Mess 5 Rich Bitch Summer Vacation. And also Hot Mess 3 Slutty Spring Break. And Myrtle Beach Pride.
SPEAKER_06Oh, Mrtal Myrtle Beach Pride was good. Also, I loved Hot Mess Season 2 auditions. That was a fierce night. What about you, Christina?
SPEAKER_04I love the fucking Blood Bass because I love the humiliation ritual of it. Oh my god. Because there's always just one where this is just not their thing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. And we are very sorry to Mona, Saccharin, and Lady Symphonique and Kara. Yeah. And the audience. But we're we we can probably switch it up for Hot Mess 6 and do cater to We're doing Madonna. Oh, okay. I mean, what were you gonna say?
SPEAKER_04Like cater to a more alt broad because if we do pop songs, obviously whoever gives the best dance performance will win.
SPEAKER_05We could just do all ballads.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That was my idea.
SPEAKER_05Which might be kind of boring for the audience, but I don't really care. I think it'd be fierce. Make be like dress glamorous and do b ballads, bloodbath. That would be fun. Come ready to cry. Call in if you think that's a good idea. Alright. Um, Saccharin wants to know your top three, Saccharin. Um, when she's not there. And that's my answer as well. Number three, Karm. Um, SpongeBob. Yes. Oh, her open stage number was fabulous.
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh, this last one that she just did.
SPEAKER_05It was really good. I I turned to Carmella and said, She looks like I look to you. I turned and said, She looks like an all-star. And she did great. So good for you, Saccharin.
SPEAKER_06Yes, she looks fierce. I love the I love the under-eye bags.
SPEAKER_05Yes, the very scary things. Yes. She had like Oh, it was nasty. I would love to. She had like stoned like scabs on her face, and I was like, I love your aides' face.
SPEAKER_04You look good for your aides. Okay.
SPEAKER_05Top three cartoon divas. And I will say I loved when arrows did the Azula look. Because that is one of my divas. You love Azula. I do love Azula as well. Mentally Unhinged. Evil.
SPEAKER_04Evil. But amazing. Fierce Nails.
SPEAKER_05Fierce all the time.
SPEAKER_04And um Carmela. I loved your Poison Ivy. Because she's an iconic.
SPEAKER_05Well, thank you. I love Sarah Bellum for The Powerpuff Girls. I think she is snatched and cunty. Ooh, um, when Raven did um from The Powerpuff Girls. What's her name? Him. Him. Him, yeah. I wanted to say Miss He, but that was a.
SPEAKER_06He's a D.Va. Him's a D.
SPEAKER_05V. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god, last night Twinkerbell was Lindsay from Total Drama Island, and that was hilarious. Right. I was like, oh my god, this is tickling exactly the place in my brain that I need.
SPEAKER_06I love the Sailor Scouts. Sailor Jupiter in particular.
SPEAKER_05She was my favorite. Sailor Moon was so formative for me. I love Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon is what made me a gay woman. Yes.
SPEAKER_04And straight from the desert, Amir wants to know our top three worst lip syncs.
SPEAKER_05Oh what? From like Hot Mess?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, Hot Mess, which, you know, I think um when was it Travis and um Stiller and Stiller did what was it? They they would take on me.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That was not good.
SPEAKER_05Stiller looked crazy, crazy town, but knew all the words and and like and then Travis looked pretty good, but didn't know half the words. So it was just like what? Were there any bad lip syncs in lip sync battles? They're they're usually not bad. Like you Nothing sticks out to me. I mean, all like usually one person is better than the other, but I can't really think of anywhere like both were just like fuck you. Yeah, I can't really either. We've never double eliminated anyone like that. Yeah. We'll have nights where we cut someone and then the next two lip sync, but we've never been like, fuck you both. Oh, actually, yes, we did. Hazel Moon and Santana Sin's Noir. Like a prayer Madonna, that sucked. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, girls.
SPEAKER_04And then last night, Dior didn't know our words, but she performed really great.
SPEAKER_05Well, that song was really new.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And I couldn't tell from behind.
SPEAKER_04So well, I could tell from the front. Okay, well, there you go.
SPEAKER_05Take me to the back and I'll show you the front.
SPEAKER_04Do you remember the girl who came out for it? It was either a friend request or an open stage. Pretty sure it was a friend request. And she did Genie in a bottle.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_04Where is she? Is she okay? Because that okay. Just grinder. That is my answer to another question that we got from Arisatois Brooks. Baby drags who vanished without a trace.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04She is my number one. Love her.
SPEAKER_05I can't even remember her name. Uh Scylla Sibin. Scylla Sibin, I was gonna say. Thorne, Miss Athena. Um, Natasha Bills. Oh. My daughter. My well, she's right next door. Let's go talk to her. Let's get her on the pod. We could. She probably has a lot to say. Plenty. I don't really need to hear it. I'm glad she quit wearing those blue contacts.
SPEAKER_04Oh, thank God. Do we know anyone that's done like one or two numbers and then just wasn't for them, but they still come around?
SPEAKER_05Uh Ymir and Brick Bottoms moved across the country. Oh, Brick Bottoms, yeah. I don't think she's done drag since she's been at church. Was that the one that used to fuck around with? I don't know. I don't know. She auditioned for Hotmas One. She was real country. Oh, I don't think that was her.
SPEAKER_06Auntie, shout out auntie. She doesn't do drag anymore, I don't think.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Abita. It wasn't like a baby drag, but quit drag. No. Infinity.
SPEAKER_06I don't know if Infinity does drag anymore. Really?
SPEAKER_05I missed them both. Yeah. We need to get infinite. I messaged Infinity to see if she wanted to do all stars and she did not respond to me. Damn. Damn, that was intense. If only we could give them like a a stipend or something. I know to encourage. Taylor Swift, reach out. Please. Please. Give us so much money. Alright.
SPEAKER_04Aristotle Brooks also wants to know our top three places to DoorDash from after the gig. Which the only options that we have available are McDonald's or Taco Bell. At least at my house.
SPEAKER_06Well.
SPEAKER_04And I don't really feel like shitting myself uncontrollably. I mean, that will probably happen with or without Taco Bell, but so right now it's just McDonald's, girl. You know they have McDonald's. They have the Mac sauce cups now.
SPEAKER_05She can't let that McDonald's go.
SPEAKER_04I have to keep them in business.
SPEAKER_05I was gonna also say McDonald's, Taco Bell, or Waffle House.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I would if Canes was fucking open. They are open till it usually is.
SPEAKER_05They're open till three.
SPEAKER_04Are they done renovating?
SPEAKER_05Oh no, they were just they're just closed for a few weeks, but I don't know if they're open again. But I usually I usually go by Canes after the show. Have y'all ever done Cookout? I I fuck with Cookout. I don't like Cookout that much.
SPEAKER_04Have y'all done Waffle House downtown after the gig? Hell yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05We used to do Waffle House after the gig all the time in like 2017-18. I mean like recently. Oh no. No, not recently. We quit doing that, but almost every show we would go to Waffle House afterwards.
SPEAKER_06Little Italy?
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Yeah, that too. We went to Little Italy with Bitch Pudding when she came.
SPEAKER_06We did. That was so fun.
SPEAKER_05Alright. Emir also wants to know our top three hot mess pork chops. Okay, well see, let's run down the pork chops. Um Santana and then Mary Jane Hayes slash Emir. Um Thorne, Lady Symphonique, I guess Santana and Hazel, and JC and Kimberly for all stars, sort of. And then Hotmas Five is Travis.
SPEAKER_04Um I mean, obviously we have to give it to Travis. Q the Gugg Gug.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and Travis also competed in three weeks because we kept everyone for three weeks.
SPEAKER_06I think most iconic because she came back to win.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. If you want to rank them by final ranking, then she is the best one.
SPEAKER_04Are you are you not counting Sacchin as a No, because Sacron got eliminated. Um Hazel, I guess Hazel will be my number two.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I would say Mary Jane Hayes and Hazel. Because they run their own shows, like they and they perform and like do their own stuff.
SPEAKER_04And I thought Thorne was such a great performer.
SPEAKER_05Yes. She's another one that sort of fell off. Did you say her? Yeah. You did. She doesn't perform anymore. But Santana moved to Santana still performs. Asheville. Yeah. Oh my gosh, she does she like us. The club that um she likes Carmela just fine, but not me, I guess. She works with Priscilla. Miss Chambers? Yeah. The club that she works at got shot up the other day.
SPEAKER_06Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05I think she's fine. Do you know how much Priscilla Chambers charges for a cameo? Uh tell me. I don't remember, but it was like around 50 or 75. That's and Delta only cost like $100. I mean, they set their own prices, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Anyway. Love you, Priscilla. You were very lovely when I met you. Alright, Saccharin. No. Sweet Songs of Siren wants to know.
SPEAKER_05Siren wants to know the top three ways to cook eggs. Fried. Runny. Do y'all know how to cook? Yeah. Yeah. Like fiercely? I mean, I'm not like a chef, but I could cook food that it tastes good. I can cook pretty good. Oh, I can't. I like a fried egg with a runny yolk.
SPEAKER_06That's why DoorDash is in business. Exactly. Because of you right over here. And I also love chicken omelet. What can you cook?
SPEAKER_04I could I could probably scramble a fierce egg. I can make some good hamburger helper. I can bake a chicken breast cookie, but I really have to focus. Um, that's pretty much it.
SPEAKER_06Just put it in the air fryer. Do you know how to do that?
SPEAKER_04I don't have one anymore. Oh. I lost it in the divorce.
SPEAKER_06Damn. I like a I like a runny scramble. I don't like it. I don't like it too cooked. Because it's gross. You know, like and I don't like when people crack the egg and then scramble it in the pan. You have to scramble it first and then put it in the pan. Yeah. I do that. My dad makes it that way. He'll crack the fucking egg and then scramble it in the pan, and I'm like, this is disgusting. Probably because he's asleep. I should I should not see white in my scrambled eggs.
SPEAKER_04Have you seen the videos of the guys that will come in the pan and then they scramble to come like eggs and eat it? I can't get enough of them.
SPEAKER_06Why don't you shut the fuck up? No, I haven't seen those videos.
SPEAKER_05I think that's fierce.
SPEAKER_06Let's do it right now when we get off. I I think there's uh an age verification for that in Georgia right now.
SPEAKER_04Ugh. I mean, I did a we're so fast.
SPEAKER_06You uploaded your government ID? Yeah, I was just to Pornhub.
SPEAKER_04No, I she did it to um X Hamster.
SPEAKER_05That's what I was trying to think of X Hamster. Giggity.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I'm trying to see it. I've curated a great um FYP? Yeah. My FYP on X Hamster. For your porn is unmatched.
SPEAKER_06She deleted her Chrome app on her computer and like 4,000 gigabytes showed up.
SPEAKER_04Damn. Alright, Miss Clitney wants to know our top three twinks.
SPEAKER_05Not you, faggot.
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh. I don't even know any twinks. I think I've aged out of knowing twinks.
SPEAKER_05Um Tigris. Is JC a twink? JC. I was literally about to say JC. JC for all three. She's hanging on. JC L3. Eros. Oh, yes. Well, yes. And Siren. I pick four. Okay. Siren's a twink. If Eeris is a twink, siren is a twink. Okay. I can get down with that. My answer is JC for all three. Mine will be Clinton for all three, because I have to say that. Because that's your daughter.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah. Alright, Sweden wants to know our top three makeup products.
SPEAKER_05Oh, he's so good. Oh. So he can use it? Ooh, that is a good one. So he can abuse them. I love my new Dior foundation stick. Ooh, you have to show me that. So fancy. It's too dark for me, but I'm gonna use it anyways. Quintania. I've been getting makeup from the Dollar Tree. You've been doing that for a long time. You get what? Make it makeup from the Dollar Tree.
SPEAKER_06What do you get? Like pretty much everything. It's a gorgeous woman. I take that back. I um they have it's called Pro Lux, I think. They have a foundation there, and I use that foundation. It's pretty good. And uh setting powder, I get concealer and stuff, not from the Dollar Tree.
SPEAKER_04No, I feel like all their powders in like eyes stuff. It's probably fierce.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I have um some Morphe palettes that my friend Caitlin gave me that I use for my eyeshadow and eyebrows and stuff. So you don't get shit from like Sephora and Ulta for your for your face?
SPEAKER_06Not really. Uh I really just use I use eyeshadow pretty much on my whole face.
SPEAKER_05Like I use eyeshadow for my contour, my blush, pretty much everything.
SPEAKER_04What do I like?
SPEAKER_05Oh, I found the the James No. I found the what's her name? Kimchi. I found the kimchi cheek powders at the CVS. Ooh. I do love them.
SPEAKER_06I heard those are really good. They are. And I heard the one size is really good.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna try that next. Yeah. What about you, Cola? Before I lost it, I really liked the Trixie Mattel hotline um black liner.
SPEAKER_03Mm. Hmm.
SPEAKER_05In the little pot. I quite like that. I like a um an eyeliner in a pot that I can take out with a brush and the coverage is just so much faster. What do you do your white base with? Is it the Mayron? Uh yeah. I get different products sometimes. Um right now it's the Mayron in the little pot. Do you still set it with uh baby powder? No, I use airspun.
SPEAKER_04You use Cody powder on the white base. It doesn't take the pigment away. It doesn't depend on it. The pigment of what? The white.
SPEAKER_05No, I do that so that it's not quite so asylum white. It's just like mostly white.
SPEAKER_04Why are you trying to fool the people?
SPEAKER_05It's not a it's not a it's not a fool, it's not a joke. It's not a call that did fly over the cuckoo's nest. This is not that good old Elmer's glue stick, too. It has to be the Elmer's. The other ones don't work at all. I want La Paria. Amir wants to know our top three diseases. Whatever she has. My number one is Giardia. Hey poodle. Exactly. Is that a disease or like a Diabetes? Oh my god. It's a parasite. Alcoholism.
SPEAKER_04Uh Stiller Sparkling wants to know our top three drag names. Obviously, mine is London France Underpants. Number one.
SPEAKER_05I like the name Stiller Sparkling a lot. I'm not gonna say it's in my top three, but I like it.
SPEAKER_06I think a really funny drag name is Alaska. Let me think.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god. While while you think, Alaska showed on something she was reading from her list of drag names that she came up with, and it was Denise DeNephews.
SPEAKER_06That is funny. You know who has an iconic drag name and it is a part of their gimmick? Eileen Slightly.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah. Oh yeah, she's missing a foot or something. Perfect.
SPEAKER_06Anyone see my foot? But I think I think that name is so perfect for her.
SPEAKER_04The uh the bartender at Rook and Pond where we do trivia. Yeah. His drag name that he wants to do is Fartina Bag.
SPEAKER_05I don't like that. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_04And it floored me.
SPEAKER_05It's like Christina Bang. Fartina Bag. And you you didn't like Wellma Checkbounce. No, I didn't. I told her no. Because we're not the show girls. Yes. There's a time and place for everything. And the church bar stage is not the place for that. Sucking sucking dick and cock. Also, what at all does that name have to do with what she presented on the stage? Nothing. There we go. Why does why do all these people on Sniffies have all these misshapen weird-looking dicks? Why can't y'all why can't y'all just be normal? Uh Dean Dummer wants to know our top three songs slash artists to perform too. Well, obviously Karm loves some Britney. I love Britney.
SPEAKER_06Love Pink. No. I would say Britney, Gaga, um anything 80s, really.
SPEAKER_05Taylor Swift, I've performed a lot when I when I'm trying to make some money. That's the thing. It's like was due.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, like you perform what the people want to hear when you want to make money.
SPEAKER_05Sometimes that's fun though.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Like I don't like Chapel Rome, but I performed her songs before. Go the fuck up for it. Yeah, they do. But definitely Britney. Brittany's my girl. Of course.
SPEAKER_04And Madonna.
SPEAKER_06Madonna.
SPEAKER_05Yes. Experiencing a lot of Madonna psychosis right now.
SPEAKER_06Lady Gaga, how bad do you want me? That is an iconic Carmi number.
SPEAKER_04Madonna, another person on my grinder grid who just won't respond to me.
SPEAKER_05She's far too busy. When will it work for her?
SPEAKER_04I'm not her type.
SPEAKER_05Jesse J, who else for you?
SPEAKER_06You used to do Nikki a lot before she went off.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I mean. Do you want to see me go off? What do I do now? Because I used to do Vava Voom every January for my dragiversary, but And you still could. Just met a boy, just met a boy when.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I guess now, I don't know. I think going forward, I'm only gonna perform things that make me laugh. So like the Meg Stalter song was perfect for me.
SPEAKER_06Well, yes. Well, who do you listen to? Who do you listen to normally?
SPEAKER_04I mean, listen recently I've been on an Avril kick ever since Cola did hot. I love Avril Levine. Oh yeah. I love Paramour, but I don't think I can perform those songs. I don't know what I would give.
SPEAKER_05Well, why don't you give it a try? What should I do? Try. Do Ain't It Fun or Misery Business. Ain't it fun?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, they have a lot of good songs. And Avril Levine. What about you, Cola? Are there any artists that you don't perform a lot that you would like to perform more?
SPEAKER_05Hmm. No. I think I pretty much perform like what I want to when I want to.
SPEAKER_06I love that.
SPEAKER_05There's not really anyone that I'm just like, oh, I really want to get into this type of thing.
SPEAKER_06Like Well, you said Madonna psychosis.
SPEAKER_05Well, I am enjoying like revisiting a lot of Madonna and performing some of that. And now that we have the visuals on the church stage, can you do your fast car performance from Atlanta All-Stars? Yeah, I can remake it. I don't I don't have that anymore, but I can remake it. That's so fucking good. That's actually a great idea. I don't have any of those anymore. I wish I had my Princess Diana one. Do you do you remember what she did for Atlanta All-Stars? Yeah. She wasn't there. Their fast car. I've seen it though. With the the Dale Earnhardt stuff. Yeah. I'll cut that because I I want you to do it and I want the people to be gagged. I need to remake my Princess Diana. I loved that one. I deleted them all though.
SPEAKER_04Alright. Uh Miss Clinton wants to know the top three drinks we love. Because I do love many drinks.
SPEAKER_05I love this drink. I love this drink.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I used to drink vodka Red Bull all the time, like all the other girls, but I can't anymore. Well, it'll make my heart explode now that I'm on um ADHD meds.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's a thing.
SPEAKER_04I mean, you shouldn't do that. I mean, I do two, but I can't do all three.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I guess you gotta choose your pick poison.
SPEAKER_05And you're not giving up because you gotta give up the Red Bull. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_06Love a vodka Red Bull. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04You get sugar free though, don't you?
SPEAKER_05Yes. You too. You do too, Cola. I usually get if if church has a flavored vodka, I'll try that. So like citrus or they had like a mango pineapple one last night that was really good. Well, recently I've been asking for um a Moscow mule.
SPEAKER_04Ooh. But I feel bad making them do too much work. I think when you're at a bar like yeah, but if you're at a bar like church and it's fucking packed, if the name of your drink doesn't have the name of the alcohol and the mixer, you're doing too much. Vodka Sprite. Thank you.
SPEAKER_05Long Island.
SPEAKER_04Vodka Sprite and a tall glass, so it dilutes the alcohol so it lasts longer and I get less drunk.
SPEAKER_05I also love a gen and tonic. I do like gen. It tastes like a Christmas tree. It tastes like it tastes like lemonade to me. We You're killing me in this way. Are you not living? Oh no, I am. You're living. Okay. We used to do four locos real hard. We did. We did. That was a different time. We had to stop doing that. When did those go away? They didn't. They're still here. They're still here. Yeah. We just don't. Yeah. Oh, I remember when they first came out. That's when uh when they had crack in it. When they were crazy, yeah. All right. That's the first time I ever blacked out. People were skippity-booping. I drank I drank two four locos at a house party. Oh my god. And blacked out for the first time. When was the last time you blacked out?
SPEAKER_06I think I got really drunk one night and don't do that. Um cut that. Yeah, the next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed and I still had all my makeup on. And I was like, what the hell? And I was like, oh shit, I just blacked out. But I felt great the next day.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I have woken up from blackouts and not even been hung over. It's so weird. I think my worst blackout was I was hooking up with this guy.
SPEAKER_06Oh, what a shock.
SPEAKER_04And apparently I was on top of him, and I just turned over and threw up off my bed and passed out. And he was just there, so he just put a towel over the vomit and went to sleep.
SPEAKER_06This was at your place or his place? It was at my place. Oh good.
SPEAKER_05So at least uh you didn't get kicked out. Right. And then probably my worst blackout was I showed up at church at like 10 30, was on, was um, what's that thing in the the I was on the patio just dancing, and then I passed out on the bench, and someone put me in an Uber, and apparently I made out with that night. Oh my gosh. And I don't remember anything else. Do you remember do you remember that time you threw up in the Uber? Yes. I do remember that. Who whose card got charged? Bird. She can afford it. This was in college. Oh, she couldn't afford it. We were like It was at the first look ball. We were like two blocks away from my house. We were so close, and I threw up in the Uber and he was like, You're done, get out! Fuck Jesus.
SPEAKER_06And then I was like, Caitlin, can you come down the hill and pick us up?
SPEAKER_05We were literally like we could have walked. It was crazy. We could. Good times. Thank you, Caitlin. Probation violation.
SPEAKER_06Shout out to probation violation.
SPEAKER_05If a guy on Grindr messages you and says he's in a relationship and like he's cheating, do you entertain that? I never actually have, but like in my brain I do. The guy's like, I'm DL and I'm married. I'm like, that's hot. Not this era. Yeah, same. On Grinder, I don't entertain it. IRL, I will. Yeah, I used to I used to exclusively hook up with married men.
SPEAKER_06Yes, go. When I was younger, like way younger. But I don't think that's right now. So I don't think I would do it now.
SPEAKER_05It's not my business. It's okay, but it's not right. Alright. Brain wants to know our top three vocal stems, which obviously recently for me has been I love that drink. Well, all day you've been going, hey girl. Hey girl. Where do you think you're going? Which is two different things. We have so many. We were just talking about this the other day. We have too many. I've been saying big old pretzel all day. My lord Kim. My Lord Kim.
unknownGo, go, go, go, go.
SPEAKER_05We do say go, go, go, go, go. We actually say that in real life. And I do it. No, I don't. That's a problem. Ain't that right, Fatty? That's I think that's an iconic vocal stem of mine. That's the most iconic vocal that I love. I'm just so sad. This song is about me.
SPEAKER_06We have a lot of Family Guy ones. Cola and I do.
SPEAKER_05We do. Some kind of Spanish. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06Family Guy has a lot of good little one-liners.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, one-liners. She uses vocal stems. Amir wants to know our three girls we would want back. For all stars, or just like back in our lives? Ymir, you're number one. Let's do back in our lives. Ymir. Obviously Amir. Kimberly, Marie Baudacious. Yeah, this this paperwork is getting out of hand.
unknownI know.
SPEAKER_05Really piling up. I want Jade back. Auntie. Oh, Jade, yeah. I want all the OG Cortesons back. I want Jade. I want Miss He. I want um Lisa. Lisa. Well, Lisa is coming back to us. She is. Spoiler. Spoiler. Bird. Oh, I convinced Bird to do the 10-year church anniversary. Many special guests. Because I've only met Bird once. And you were thirsty for it. I was. Me and Bird used to host the shows together. It was so fun. Oh. Bird would scream like Bird would have screaming contests with the audience. And Bird would always win. Against 100 people. Squat. And then Raven. I want Raven to come to a number. Creatina. Creatina. Excuse your mouth. Sorry to dead name, yeah. Turn off the hot pan, girl. Turn it off. I'm hungry during the shows. I need a meal. I'm hungry right now.
SPEAKER_06And I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say Stephia.
SPEAKER_05Who?
SPEAKER_06Stefia, my very first drag baby. I want to see like. Pookie Torlino. I want to see what 2026 Stephia would be like.
SPEAKER_04Stephia Macchiato? Have I met her?
SPEAKER_05Skibity boop boop.
SPEAKER_06I don't think so.
SPEAKER_05I want Alex back. So fucking bad. Suarez. Suarez? Yes. He can stay in Michu. Oh.
SPEAKER_06Well, she still does drag.
SPEAKER_05She's just not here. Yeah. I want her back on the stage. And everything else is fine.
SPEAKER_06She's coming back in September. Is she? I think so. That's what she said.
SPEAKER_05I want her on the stage room. I guess she can on the dressing room. She can watch the show from the audience. I guess so. Is she on the good old time? She's not booked. I didn't know about it. I mean, I'm sure she can do something. I don't think those shows are booked. They're planned, but they're not like booked.
SPEAKER_04Alright, well, I think we've done it. Those are all the questions I care to ask.
SPEAKER_05Oh, okay. I can't wait to see the ones you didn't want to ask.
SPEAKER_04I mean they were just repeats pretty much.
SPEAKER_05Oh. I thought maybe they were too scandalous. No. Do you have any top threes that you want to ask us? So so so scandalous. What are your top three Christina Bang looks and top three Christina Bang numbers? Oh, okay, first of all.
SPEAKER_04Out of the five I can.
SPEAKER_05You only remember MILF Money and McDonald's. Um and the pretty scroll in America is too new. That's not like classic.
SPEAKER_06I love that time at Boy Buton when your wig came off.
SPEAKER_05And I broke my tailbone. Did you really? It hurt for like a fucking week.
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_05Because I did the the fall on my back, legs in the air. Pop my butt. Pop pop my butt. Um I like your purple dress from the Hotmaster. Oh, your promo. Your promo look. That one's really good. The dress I wore all the time. And your orange one is also pretty. I do love the orange. Fashionova. You're very beautiful in my silver gown. I love that gown. Oh my god. Um it looked really good with the breastplate, too. It did. With the little cutout to show the boobs. I like that stars bodysuit on YouTube. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04Travis did amazing stoning that.
SPEAKER_05Really did. It was really cute. That was really cute. I like the little details of the ones that were like outlined. He came all over it for me as well.
SPEAKER_06And uh as far as a number, I loved your uh Hannah Montana. He could be the one. I I do love it. You did that at your birthday, I think, one year. Yeah. I love that number.
SPEAKER_05I like when you made the guy cry and you did um Reba. Reba. I'm a Survivor.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, you did that one too. I love that one.
SPEAKER_05Was that your ice maker? Yeah. It was very scary. Yeah, it's because it's empty, so it like makes a very fierce noise. I understood. I just thought it was. Alright, my top three cola performances. Okay. Obviously Rose's turn. Okay. Duh. I love when you do um American teenager. What did you call it earlier? American dream. American Dream.
SPEAKER_04And I guess number three, I'm not gonna say the fast car, even though that's the answer, because we already talked about it. What about you, Carm? Because you probably know more older niece references.
SPEAKER_06My favorite Cola performances and looks, I would say I love the big brain.
SPEAKER_05Oh yes. Oh, the abortion uh machine. Uh I'm changing my answer. I miss that. The big brain, yeah. Love on the brain.
SPEAKER_06Um the brain.
SPEAKER_05Stabbing yourself. I love that we share Tell It to My Heart. It's like our child that we have custody of. Also untouched. And untouched, yeah. I love that. Oh yeah, Carmela told her aunt that we take turns performing Tell It to My Heart.
SPEAKER_06And I love back in the day when Cola did the black lip liner with the sky blue lip. I love the sky blue lip on you.
SPEAKER_05Ooh, I'll bring it back. Yeah, that was really hot. Oh, that's hot.
SPEAKER_06That's a big old layup. Sister. Yes.
SPEAKER_05Big ol' pencil. Alright, my.
SPEAKER_06And then and then, of course, hold on. When we do um any duet, but slumber party.
SPEAKER_05Slumber party, we're bringing back slumber party.
SPEAKER_06Yes. The first time we did it with the pillow fight was so fun. My first bitch fit. Remember the first time. Oh, yes, I do remember.
SPEAKER_05I re-listened to the episode where you talked about that. Where some bitch it was Raven. It was Raven. Oh. And picked up our pillows and dumped out all the shit.
SPEAKER_06And I was already pissed because Denitan and Lori were talking so fucking much.
SPEAKER_05They wouldn't shut the fuck up. Yeah. And so the Carmilla really did like have like a bitch fit. And I was like, oh, what the fuck? She was like, it was so funny. We hadn't because like that would have been like probably in like September, October, November of 2016. So we had been friends for less than a year. And so I was like watching that and I was like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_01The fuck?
SPEAKER_05It was so funny though.
SPEAKER_06Roll the tape.
SPEAKER_05Alright, top three Carmelo. Number one. Um Hot Mess 1 finale night. My favorite performance you've done. Are you kidding me? Maroon? Get the fuck out of here. You you served. Did I? I don't remember a thing. I remember you walking in in that gorgeous red gown, just being like. You were serving.
SPEAKER_06I was like, I drank a whole bottle of vodka at Boobutant before that.
SPEAKER_05I think I love the number. Am I the town trendsetter? Maybe so. Just because I knew it was happening in the background that you had just. So you're being serious. That one. I mean, you also look so fucking good in that gown. My god. The way you walked in.
SPEAKER_06Did I give you that gown?
SPEAKER_05I don't have it anymore. Okay. I mean the Britney Knives, obviously. The Britney Knives, okay. Where I made that cut out of you. Very, very iconic um performing Make Me by Brittany Spears on the Georgia Bar steps. You love that one. I do love that.
SPEAKER_06I I listened to the Cash Cash remix the other day. Loved it.
SPEAKER_04And then I loved when you and Cola did Rain on Me for the Pride thing.
SPEAKER_06We did do Rain on Me at Athens Pride one year. Remember it was freezing at Terrapin? Yes. When uh Alex was hosting it.
SPEAKER_05Uh-huh. That was a very cold November night. Very cold. It was 2021.
SPEAKER_06That was Pride in like November. Yeah. It had never been that late.
SPEAKER_04And I because of COVID. Oh yeah. I was freezing my ass off.
SPEAKER_05I did a Hannah Montana mix that night, too. That was the night Candy Bews was here.
SPEAKER_06It was.
SPEAKER_05We went over to the 40 watt and saw Candy. And I got drunk as hell there. And I talked to Candy.
SPEAKER_06We performed there. I know.
SPEAKER_05And I talked to Candy. Super drunk? Yes, I did. What'd you say?
SPEAKER_06I was like. First of all, whore. I was like, maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe I was wrong about all men.
SPEAKER_05She said, Arf, arf arf arf. I did the meeting great. She was very nice to me. She was she was lovely. That was a fun pride. That was fun. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06What about any any more Carmela favorites?
SPEAKER_05I the first I remember one of the first times seeing you, you were performing as Chucky from Rogue Rats. Oh my gosh, yeah. I thought that was like, oh, I was like, oh my god. She's not like a pretty lady. She's doing something like camping, quirky. I love the really big updo pony we did for one of the Boy Be Top photo shoots. Oh yeah, the Candyland one. The big cylinder on your head.
SPEAKER_06I love Botox. Botox was a fun era.
SPEAKER_05Oh yes. Oh yeah. I remember also you performing down in the DMs at Georgia Bar.
SPEAKER_06Ooh. Ooh. Was it that was an early church show. Was it just that?
SPEAKER_05It was at Georgia Bar. Or the Nikki remix. Snapchat made that put it. Was it at Georgia Bar? Okay. I thought it was at church. It's at Georgia Bar. Maybe.
SPEAKER_06Yes, it was it was the Nikki remix. Oh, that makes more sense.
SPEAKER_05Also, um, you performed that um this is also a Georgia Bar. You performed your um the Alyssa Edwards like remix things. Bitch, bitch bitch, bitch, bitch bitch.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, that was fun. I used to do funny stuff.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, bring it back, honey. Now you give Fab Glam Lady.
SPEAKER_06What do I give now? Is that what I give?
SPEAKER_05You give Pop Princess. Okay.
SPEAKER_06I'll take it.
SPEAKER_05And I love it. You should just bring back some funny, but keep your aesthetic the way it is, and then just like splash in some funny.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. I would love to do another.
SPEAKER_05Because you are so funny.
SPEAKER_06I would love to do another Chucky Rugrats thing. I think I would be way better at it.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I loved your Cynthia.
SPEAKER_01I mean that would that was a hosting.
SPEAKER_04I think a very early one I remember from you is when you did Motivation by Normani. Yeah. In Main Bar.
SPEAKER_05I love my Mrs. Doutfire too. Oh, I do. That's a that's that's a new classic. No, the new I need to quit singing. Well, well, what now? What now? I guess it's time for dinner.
SPEAKER_06It must be It's time for dinner. It's time for dinner.
SPEAKER_05I'm so excited to eat some chips and salsa. And Christina might have a niece. I should get another steak.
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh. Carnea sala.
SPEAKER_05The lustful eye roll she just made about a tube steak. I want a chimney chonka. A little beatty beatty.
SPEAKER_04I hope you enjoyed. This is very different from last week.
SPEAKER_05Well, this is. Our Peabody Award-winning episode. This is just a Tottenham. This will be edited into something fabulous. It will be. We are so silly. Christina's like, sure. You have two weeks to edit this. I also have an hour and thirty minutes of material to work with. Oh my god. Yeah, it'll be good. We have some good stuff. We've just been Gabby Gab. Here we go. Six o'clock. Sacron texted me. I can't wait to hear the intro. Giggity. Giggity. Alright, Carmen, you want to bring us out? Thank you guys so much for listening today. And if you made it this far, we truly appreciate you. My name is Carmela Christina. Do you want to say anything before we sign off? No. You said enough. I've said plenty. You've said plenty for me. I read off my fucking sniffies. You'll hear that next week. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh, it's a good one. It's a good one. If you know, you know. Passive top. Cola, do you have anything you want to tell the people?
SPEAKER_05Hmm. I'm looking for a passive top, so if you know one, let me know. That's good. Giggity.
SPEAKER_06Giggity. My name is Carmela. Um, make out with me. Goodbye. Goodbye.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Why?
SPEAKER_06That'll put some hair on your hemorrhoid right there. Oh my god.