People think Social Workers Have it together

People often assume that because social workers help others, they always have life figured out. The truth is, we're human too.

In this premiere episode of Beyond The Office, I share what people don't always see behind the profession—the pressure of helping others while managing your own life, the emotional weight that comes with the work, and why caring for everyone else doesn't make you immune to struggle.

Whether you're a social worker, healthcare professional, first responder, caregiver, or simply someone who's always expected to "be strong," this conversation is for you.

Because sometimes the people helping everyone else are the ones who need someone to ask, "How are you really doing?"

🎙 Beyond The Office explores the conversations that happen after the titles come off.

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Impact starts with insight

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

People think so to work is added together. We don't. And on this episode, we don't get down to the nitty-gritty. Let's talk about it. And this can either go for you or this can go for somebody you know. You ever been in a situation where you're either asking for advice or people coming to you and you're having to give advice for your opinion on whatever the topic the situation may be. And it may not be one time, but it's repeated. They're always coming to you because they think that you're the clear-minded one, you're the clear-headed one. You know, you can see things other people can't, and they feel more comfortable around you than anybody else. And again, I'm not saying that that's a bad thing. It can be a good thing. But the one thing people never talk about enough is what happens to that person that everybody goes to and everybody depends on when they get tired, right? Professionally. People assume social workers and therapists and counselors and nurses and caretakers, we all got life figured out because we are in the field to help people. Meanwhile, some of us are barely even surviving ourselves. And the funny part is that people will still come to you and ask for that advice and ask for your opinion, even when your own life is on fire. Now, I want to welcome y'all. This is the very first episode. The very first episode of Beyond the Office Podcast. Please, ladies and gentlemen, give y'all selves a round of applause. Wherever you are, wherever you're at, whatever you're doing, I appreciate each and every single one of y'all for tuning in, locking in, and joining this amazing, amazing experience with me. It's been a long time coming. We're about to dive into some real good topics. So just stay tuned. So, in this podcast, we talk about life beyond titles, careers, expectations, and image people think that they know. And today we're going to talk about something that honestly doesn't get enough attention. And that is the emotional burnout of helping people. Especially in this profession that I'm in, which is social work. Everybody expects you to always have the answers, always be calm, and always be emotionally available. And if you are in social work or any type of social service field, you already know what I'm about to talk about. You have already been in it, you're dealing with it yourself, or you know somebody that is dealing with it. So I might ruffle a little bit of some feathers, or you might have to do some deep reflection yourself. But either way, this topic needs to be discussed. Especially on this first episode, is that people assume that emotional intelligence means that our life is stable. And there's a stigma around it being in my profession, is that they feel like just because we help people process trauma, that we automatically know how to handle our own. And that's not true. That is far from the truth. It's not how it works sometimes. I wish it did, but it doesn't. There are days we are helping people through depression and through their own issues, whether it's with family or personal stuff or childhood traumas. And at the same time, we are dealing with our own stress. There are days we are encouraging somebody to not give up while we're mentally exhausted. And I remember the first time when I got into this field. And when I got into this field, in my mind, I was like, helping people would be the most rewarding thing that I deal with every single day. Now, don't get me wrong, because what it sounds like is it's not rewarding. This job is not rewarding. That's not what I'm saying. It is rewarding. It absolutely is. Seeing how people start off and how people end, and them turning their lives around and dealing with their trauma and dealing with their issues and moving forward in life is an amazing thing. But nobody prepares us. Not school, not the job, not anything. Nobody prepares you for the emotional overload that we deal with when we are encountering individuals, clients, and in the work field. That's just the honest truth. And it's a constant thing. So it's not like we deal with one person and then, you know. No, we deal with multiple people at a time. So, in essence, nobody prepares us for carrying somebody else's emotions home with us. Because you gotta understand, they got their own stuff, we got our own stuff. It's great. You come see us, you talk about your problem, you talk about your issues, you feel a little bit better. But in essence, you're passing your emotions and your traumas and the situation you're going on with us. And we still gotta take that and we still have to process and digest that. And sometimes it gets tough. And then people hit us with the you heard all of this, and you're calm. And meanwhile, in the back of our minds, and we can't show it, we're trying not to lose our minds. Because a lot of the stuff that we hear, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. And that's just the harsh reality when we're in this field and we're dealing with clients with different levels of problems and trauma, is that it gets to you, it eats at you, and we still have to think about it because after we're done with you, we gotta come back and we gotta do our due diligence. And when we come back to see you the following session, right? We gotta come back with information and a plan put together to be able to help you move forward. Ladies and gentlemen, compassion fatigue is real, and I think people misunderstand it. It's not that you stopped caring, it's that you cared for so much, for so long, that you didn't recover from each situation and each scenario. And eventually your brain starts talking to you and it starts saying, yo, my man, mama, I need a break. And I'm gonna say this, and it might ruffle some feathers in my field, but this is a public service announcement. Social workers are terrible at taking breaks. I repeat, social workers are terrible at taking breaks. And I am absolutely guilty for this because we tell clients make sure you prioritize self-care. And and the crazy part is that it is in our code of ethics. It's in it. And we go home and we ignore every piece of advice that we just gave somebody. Social workers love to say, take care of yourself. Meanwhile, each day we survive off of caffeine, stress, skip lunches, and emotional damage. And let's not talk about paperwork because with the amount of caseloads we have and the pileup, and we're looking at that stack of papers, or we're looking at our our case, you know, load on our computer, on our laptops, our schedule. And every time we look at that, our anxiety with it now got anxiety. Being honest, man. So once you have all of these things lined up, it's no wonder we have compassion fatigue. It's just the way it is in this field, baby. I'm gonna tell y'all something. And it might be a shocker to you all, but helpers, we're just human, man. We are human too. And I think that people just think because we're in the field that we're super we're superhuman and stuff. And that's just not the case at this point. Just because somebody is strong doesn't mean that they don't struggle. Just because somebody shows up for people doesn't mean that they don't go home feeling empty themselves. And I think men in particular, we struggle with this because we're always taught growing up from society, you know, relationships, all that summed up into one. We're always taught to handle it, to stay quiet, to keep moving, and don't complain. And the issue is that with men, we've become everybody else's support system without building one for ourselves. So, yes, compassion fatigue, it leads, it leads, it leads there. Now, there have been moments in my life where I was mentally drained, and I can tell you, I can write a book about it all. I have been mentally drained, and I still show up for people because people depend on me. And it goes to that point where when you're in a situation and you understand what it's like when nobody's around you, that you don't want other people to feel the type of stuff that you feel. So you're doing a little bit of prevent and maintenance for other people, but then it goes back to nobody really asking you, are you okay? So making a safe space for other people while not making a safe space for yourself. And honestly, that's dangerous. It is dangerous if you don't reset yourself from everything that you hear and everything that you do. Because eventually burnout stops looking like exhaustion and it starts looking like being irritated, emotional distance, lack of motivation, isolation, and feeling numb. And a lot of people don't realize it's happening until it's too late. And social media? Social media, social media makes stuff so much worse because when you go online on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, any one of those social media platforms, and you're watching the reels, you're watching the videos, everything looks so productive. They look so productive online. Everyone online looks healed, everybody looks intelligent, disciplined, balanced. But nobody looks behind the scene of all of that. Nobody looks to see how many times a person did a take of one part of a video or one part of a podcast. Heck, I do it. When you see this, you're gonna see a complete edited video that you're watching right now. But nobody sees the hard work it takes and how tough it is and how I'm feeling at this particular moment when I do these things. You get the polished version. You don't see the rough, behind the scene beaten path editing of this. And I'm trying my best and hoping that nobody understands or nobody notices that I'm overwhelmed. And I think the way we put a mask on around people, people don't feel the need to ask. And some days, adulthood, it feels like replying to emails while emotionally collapsing. And to be honest, I know I can't be the only one because I am guilty. Everything that I'm talking about, I'm guilty of all of it. But I'm learning to heal from it. I'm learning to actually change and implement things for myself. Because to be honest, we all can't go on like this forever. Or whoever's dealing with it, whoever's going on with it, we all can't continue to live like this. So, what actually helps? That's what I had to ask myself. After feeling tired, even though you get a full night's rest, you have to ask yourself, what actually helps? For me, be honest with you. What helps is boundaries, getting some rest, disconnecting, having real conversations, laughing, traveling, stepping away from work mentally. I gotta put this mic down again. This is a public service announcement, and this goes for anybody, whether you're in this profession or you're not in this profession, and you're dealing with these issues. You're dealing with being fatigued, burnout, and you're feeling all of that and being disassociated when it comes to certain things like this. If you're at a job, right, and you're working and you accumulated time to go on vacation, sick days, whatever the case may be, take those days. It's great to stack them up, but go somewhere. And I'm not talking about, oh, I'm gonna go to my house and I'm just gonna just sleep in my house, right? Or yeah, I gotta go wash my cat, or I got some papers as I gotta do a little bit of spring cleaning. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Pack a bag and go someplace. Because I'm gonna tell you something that maybe you heard and maybe you just, you know, throw it in the back. Is that if you drop dead tomorrow, again, knock on wood, your job will feel sad for like two seconds. Your co-workers will feel sad for a little bit, but life will move on. That job will move on without you. They'll probably post something and say, yes, this person died on that, that, that, and all that good stuff, right? People, people will attend, you know, your funeral and stuff like that. But then the very next second, they're going to post that job that you had, that you had faithfully for so long, and they're gonna post it to the next person. And all those vacation days that you stacked up hoping one day to use it, they're not gonna go nowhere. They're not gonna go to the next person that takes your job, right? Just gonna vanish. So take this time, go somewhere, recharge yourself. Don't bring work with you either. When you are away, you are away. Mm-mm. Leave work right where it's at. Go about your business, recharge yourself, get the energy that you need. And then when you get back to work, you're ready to go. I'm just trying to be, I'm just trying to tell y'all what's up, man. So this is a public service announcement from yours truly. That's it, y'all. Now, the last one is hard for people in the helping profession. It really is. Because we get busy so much, and it's just like we feel like, oh, this is just the life. It's a cycle. We just gotta keep it pushing. We're adults, we gotta pay bills. But then the problem is, is that when we're in this profession to help people, it it it gets numb at times to where we disassociate ourselves professionally and personally, to where it's like, I gotta do this job because I gotta get money, I gotta pay my bills. But then when we go home to deal with our own stuff, it's like I don't want to deal with that because I had a tough day at work. So to be honest, both sides is is is not getting you. And and is and be honest with you, it's not healthy. So we gotta fix ourselves. Now, you can care deeply about people without destroying yourself in the process. And I think more people need permission to admit that you're just tired. How are people supposed to know if you don't say nothing? A closed mouth never gets fed. So if you tell people, look, man, I'm tired, maybe that opens up the door for somebody to then turn around and ask you, is everything all right? But I want to ask y'all something. What profession do you think is easy emotionally, but drains people mentally? I'm gonna ask it again. What is a profession that people think is easy emotionally, but it drains people mentally? And if you're somebody people constantly depend on, what do you do to recharge? Now, as we approach the end, I wanna thank everybody for spending time with me on this podcast. If this conversation moved you, challenged you, or helped you see something differently, share this with someone who needs it. Now follow me, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and all social media platforms. It'll be linked below. And remember, life doesn't stop at the title. Impact starts with Imprite. I'm Gerard. I'ma see y'all next week.