Episode Two

In this episode I complain about gambling ads, trailers showing the whole movie, a butthole in traffic, rich people, and more.

Transcript

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Hello, welcome to another episode of the Donkey Boy Lounge. This is episode two. Um I actually got a lot of good feedback from the first episode. Uh like 40 people listened to it, which is crazy. Uh, because I'm not like marketing this or anything, so I'm not really sure how people are finding it. Um, but that's cool. So uh I th I think the format moving forward though is uh because I think because I was thinking a lot earlier on why the first go-around failed, and I think it was the episodes were too long. So I think if I shoot for like the 15 to 20 minute mark, we should be good. Uh, cause really these aren't really podcasts, you're just kind of me complaining about a bunch of shit. Um, but if I keep it within the realm of sanity, I think we'll be okay. I think also if I end the episode with something nice uh that's not a complaint, which I think I did in the first ones where I would after rambling and going on a rant and riffing and all that, and then I would end on something good that happened. But I I think realistically, because the last I think three episodes or so, um, is that Phil? I thought I heard one of my cats outside my door. Uh I think the last three episodes or so, they were like 40 minutes long or even longer, I think. And I I think that's what killed it for me is because when you when you complain, if when you sustain complaining for that long, it like does a number on you. So um I'm not gonna do do them that long anymore. 20 minutes max. Uh this time I took notes. So I know last time the the first episode, Jake said it was like listening to an aneurysm because I kept stopping every few minutes to say that I was gonna go take notes, and then I never took notes. So I took notes this time. So I have some dialed-in complaints that we're gonna talk about, and then I've got I'm gonna end it with one nice idea that I have that I've written down. So uh let's go ahead and get into it. Also, I want to clarify there's probably gonna be some overlap in my complaints. Uh kinda I'm gonna call them callbacks. I don't remember everything I've complained about. I made I don't know, like 20 or so episodes of my first Eric's Complaint Department podcast. So I made a lot, and I like I remember some of the complaints. I remember the Amish one the most. Uh fuck that place, they're a bunch of liars. But um I I think there's gonna be some that show up again. And it's just gonna be like a callback because I do tend to complain about the same things a lot, and there's like literally no way for me to track what I've actually complained about. Uh I know that in previous notes I've looked through and kind of combed them to see to make sure that I don't like repeat anything, but you know, it is what it is. Uh so anyway, earlier I was at uh my wife's boss's house, and I'm not gonna say their names or anything or where they live. They live in a very rich area of Virginia Beach. And um we were uh we were gonna watch uh we were watching something. I because we went for a walk and everything, and it was so hot out, and I was just kind of irritated. Just heat makes me very irritable because I I like overheat very quickly. I don't know if it that's just cause I'm fat. Kat said it was something called mass cell activation or something. Uh, but I think I think it's just because I'm fat. And so I was kind of irritable, and whenever I'm like irritable or in a mood or whatever, I always watched American Dad. And so we went and sat down, and they had one of those fuck-ass LG TVs, and I don't know if you've ever had to deal with an LG TV, but the remote control they use for those, I don't know if they're still doing it, but for a few years there, they were like Wii remotes. And that's really annoying to use as a TV remote because it's also not as accurate as a Wii remote either. So if you want to scroll down or scroll up, like good fucking luck on that. So LG, I don't know what the fuck you were thinking with that. I don't think anyone likes that. I've never heard of anyone liking that technology to be in a regular fucking TV remote. Because no other TV I've ever used does that, and that's fucking stupid and poor design. And it feels like it would be more expensive to make a remote that does that. Like just make a regular fucking TV remote. It's not that hard. But that's not really the complaint. That's a complaint on its own. But so we got onto Hulu and start watching American Dad, and there's fucking ads. We're in a uh this house that we're in is over a million dollars. And they have fucking ads on Hulu? Why what the fuck? I don't live in a million dollar house. I live in like a quarter of a million dollar house, and I don't see fucking ads in Hulu or Disney Plus or HBO or any of the other ones that I watch. Isn't that f that's fucking insane to me? That you would have all this money, you live in this gigantic fucking house in a rich neighborhood, and you you watch ads? Like what the fuck is that? It was just so mind-boggling to me, and at some point I did kind of get numb to the ads. But I think the problem was too, is it's the same fucking ads over and over again. Like there was one that was like a s a Spanish Verizon one for some reason. I'm not sure why it was in Spanish. Nothing wrong with Spanish. I I love Hispanic people, but like why why so many and the same fucking Burger King commercial over and over again. It's like mix it up. Are these the only ads that fucking exist right now? And it's constant. It was like every six or seven minutes of the show, it was stopped by fucking ads. It's like, and it they're like three or four minute breaks of ads. It's like this is just cable. That's all this is. It's just cable again. We've looped all the way back around. But it's like I I'm not rich by any means. I'm I'm doing well, but and I don't I don't have any ads and any of my media streaming shit. I I'm not fucking around with ads anymore. Like, I know a lot of people will try and get me to watch Tubi. I'm not watching that shit. It's got it's full of ads. I'm not gonna watch a movie with ads in it. What is this, 1998? I'm not doing that shit. It just it didn't it didn't make sense to me. I I just I didn't get why people making six figures or more, I don't know how much they make. They make enough to where I looked up their house on Zillow to see how much it costs. And it like I it just it was just mind blowing. It I I don't get that. So um oh yeah, I want to talk about for this next complaint. Um, this was a weird behavior that I saw. Um I so I was in town center today? Was it today? I don't know. It's like it's like two in the morning. I can't sleep, so I figured I'd record one of these because I kept writing them down in bed and I was like, fuck it, I'll just record it. Uh yeah, I was on so I was on Princess Anne and I was turning right onto Baxter, where there's that little like on the corner, there's a Wendy's right there, and then across the street there's a BP. And uh usually people don't do U-turns at that Baxter light, like just flipping around right there, because it's a very tight U-turn. And oh yeah, now I can hear Phil. It's a very tight U-turn. And so uh I started going and then I noticed this lady was doing a U-turn, and so I stopped, and she like threw her hands up in the air and shit, and she threw up the middle finger and then kept it there. She kept it there for like not even like just a few seconds or whatever. It's like okay, whatever. But to the next light, she f she fucking left her middle finger up. So this whole time, this the next three or four minutes that I'm behind her, the middle finger was up the whole time. It's like l we're at the second light now. It's still up. It's like, bro, let it the fuck go. What did I fucking ruin your life because I went three feet forward because I wasn't expecting you to make this tight fucking U-turn at a place that no one makes U-turns at? Like I fucking ruined your life? Like, what the fuck is that? Oh my god. I I just and she was in a Nissan Ultima, and I don't know what it is with Nissan dealerships. I don't know if they have some sort of deal to only sell to the worst fucking part of the population, but it's always dickheads that drive fucking Nissans. Like 100% of the time, and they're always busted ass old fucking shit box Nissans. And see, I'm getting all worked up. It's okay though. Um, and this is another traffic complaint that I have. Uh, and I know that a lot of people say this. Uh, headlights are too fucking bright. We need to tone it down. It's it's like everyone has high beams on all the time. And like I have a newer car, I have a 2024, and the the beams on my car tilt so when it can sense when there's like oncoming traffic and shit, and the the beams will like tilt down a little bit so that it's not like just blasting in people's eyes. And I don't know how many manufacturers do that out of a Toyota, uh, but I also have a hatchback, so it's a smaller car, so my headlights probably aren't blasting you in the fucking rear view mirror that bad anyway. But like these SUVs and trucks and shit, it they're so fucking bright. It they're unbelievably fucking bright. Like I had to flip that little toggle switch thing on my rear view mirror a couple times on my way home tonight because the cars behind me were like just it was like looking into the fucking sun. I I don't I don't get why it's like that. I I don't get what the need for like back in the day, like 20 years ago, uh I had a prelude and I put like 10k Hollogen b bulbs in it, and I regretted doing that because that was way too bright, and that's not even anywhere close to what bulbs are now. So I don't know why manufacturers are doing that. I don't know if a law got passed or something, but it's it's too fucking much. Like they're they're doing too much, and I feel like it's gotta be a safety issue at some point when you're just getting fucking blinded by these things. So that's my complaint on that. Uh I don't have any more traffic complaints, I don't think. But uh see, we're wheeling and dealing. It's about 13 minutes in. I only got a couple more complaints left. We're good. This is good. This is we're tracking. Um this next complaint I feel like other people can also agree with on this. I think movie trailers are showing way too much of the fucking movie. Um, we recently, me and my mom, and my wife went and saw Disclosure Day, which is the new Spielberg movie, uh, which by the way, I didn't like it. Um it was weird that the movie started like in the middle of the story. Uh there's no backstory or anything. It just they kind of just peppered that in later. And I think, I mean, th this is a whole different complaint, but I think uh because Kat made a good point that kids like kids nowadays, and I I feel really old saying it like this, but kids nowadays they don't want backstory. They don't want, you know, twenty or thirty minutes of you building a story. They just want to be they just want to be thrown into it immediately. Like the movie started off like it was a sequel to something. Like it just it was just immediate, and it's like, no, like what like how did we get here? Why are you just starting it off this way? Don't Tarantino it back later on. Like that doesn't work with every movie, so I ha I hate that they do that, but I and after we watched the movie, because like the la the last 15 minutes of the movie were the coolest part of the whole fucking movie. And after we saw the movie, I when I got home, I actually re-watched the trailer for it, and I noticed all of the last scenes were in the trailer, and that's weird to me that they do that. Like, so not only do they a lot of these trailers show the entire goddamn movie, but they'll put the final scenes in the trailer. And like, even the one of the trailers that we saw while we were seeing that movie was for the new Moana. And like, I don't know, maybe some people haven't seen the first Moana. Or I mean I did, I didn't really like it because I was deceived. I was I thought the pig was gonna be a lot more featured in the movie because they made all the toys about the pig, and the pig was in it for like, you know, 15 seconds, and that pissed me off. Uh but if you hadn't seen the first Moana and all you were seeing was this new one, this live action one, uh they show like the end of the movie in the trailer. So I what what happened to teaser trailers? Why can't we just do go back to teasers, do 30-second teaser trailers and show parts of like the beginning in the middle. Don't show the fucking end. That's weird. Man, Phil is on one outside my door. Um But yeah, so that that's that's my whole thing on that. I've I've really I've the it's why I don't want to watch trailers anymore for anything, because I it's gonna get ruined for me. Like when you they do it for TV shows now too. They show the whole goddamn plot. And the twit they'll show the twist in the trailer. Like what why are you doing this? It is it because you know people aren't gonna w like, are they doing numbers for the trailers now that are more important than the movie? I I I don't get it. I I don't get it. It just pisses me off. Oh yeah, and then on to the next thing. Um I and I really hate this. I hate I don't know what law got passed or what law got undone, but have you noticed the amount of gambling ads that exist now? Like Rubet, Rainbet, Slack, like all these little fucking casino ads that show up on my brain rot videos. Uh I'll I'll be like super in into like a really funny video on Instagram or something, and then halfway into it, they'll just start shilling for Rain Bet. And it's like, is Rain Bet paying all these people to do this, or are they just fucking doing it because they are addicted to g uh because to me, no offense, but gambling is kind of like bottom tier retard behavior. Like, it is it's an idiot tax. It's it's like the lottery. It's you like gambling, and I feel like shilling gambling to people that are like 19, 20 years old is really fucking gross. And I say that as a 40-year-old who used to smoke and used to do all these things and shit, and it's like it is just a really gross thing to see uh rain bet showing up in like a 19-year-old's video on Instagram. Uh it's just gross to me. Like, stop doing it. It's like there's there and there's just so fucking much of it. All this sports betting and shit, it's out of control. It's and like even when I listen to podcasts and shit, they'll be like, oh, uh sport they'll do this whole sports betting app or whatever, and then at the end of it, they'll talk about very sh very quickly, they'll talk about like if you have gambling issues or whatever, please call you know national hotline for gambling addicts or something like that. But it's like that doesn't make it better that you're doing that. That's like that that's like shilling heroin and then being like, oh, but uh here at the end of it, real quickly, if you're having issues with heroin, uh here's a number you can call. It's like this is fucking gross. Just stop doing it. I hate seeing it, I don't want to see it anymore. Just stop doing it. And this next complaint is also dealing with podcasts. And uh I think there's now too many ads and podcasts. Uh hopefully uh this is a hobby for me, so I don't ever want to put ads in this shit, ever in my fucking life, because because I hate ads so much. I hate that we're we are over-advertised to. And I know that's just a symptom of late-stage capitalism that everything needs to be a fucking advertisement, everybody needs to sell some shit. But some of these podcasts I just I don't want to listen to anymore because there's too many fucking ads in them. Like, my favorite podcast is Take Your Shoes Off with Rick Glassman, and it's caught i there's so many fucking ads in it. And then not to mention, he's g he has ad roles in it that just sound like commercials and don't even have his creator code or anything on it. Like, he had a whole commercial for Shopify in his last episode that I just listened to, where he had Kevin Nealon on there. And it it's not like at the end of it it was like for you know 15% off use Tyso or whatever. It wasn't anything. It's like, so how would they even fucking know that the traffic for Spotify or Shopify came from him anyway? Like, what is the point of that? Like, uh Papa Meat. I watch Papa Meat a lot too, and sometimes he'll do bad dragon, and it it'll be the same thing. He won't ever say, like, go to baddragon.com and use code, you know, pop a meat or something. He just says bad. It's like, how do they know? I I'm assuming they just get some sort of kickback from it, and that's it. Uh and and they don't need to have a creator code, or they've gotten to the point where they're big enough where they don't need that, but it's just tiring. This is all ti very tiring. And I've already gone over the 20-minute mark, even though I said I wouldn't, but I've only got one thing left, and it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing anyway. Uh it's not a complaint. It's I think we should now hear me out, because this is gonna sound weird when I say it initially. I think we should normalize wife swapping. Again, hear me out. Not in a sexual way, in a friendship way. So my best friend Jake and their wife Mia, that's like our best friend, that's our best couple friends and I relate more to Mia with a lot of things. And like my wife Kat, she relates a lot to Jake. So, like, I was thinking, you know, like uh, for instance, a couple weeks ago, me, Jake, Mia, and their friend Jamie, we went to Hot Mulligan in Richmond. And I mean, there are other people, I think Boston Manor was another one, or not Boston Manor, Joyce Manor. That's I always get them mixed up. And uh some other bands or whatever. And oh, Coyo, I think, opened. Um, we went there and Jake was up in the pit with Jamie, and then me and Mia were way back on the lawn. Mia was playing little games on her phone, we were just talking, yapping and stuff, and that was very nice. Uh, cause I'm 40, I'm not going in a fucking pit. That's not happening for me anymore. My fat body and my bad back and bad knees can't do that shit anymore. But I also don't really want to be alone on the lawn. So it was nice that it was just me and Mia on the lawn while Jake and Jamie were out in the pit, and so even if like Kat had been there, she would have been in the pit with Jake. So it's like, why don't we friendship wife swap? Make that more of a normalized thing. I I don't know everybody's friendships and relationships and how well they are with that, but I could see me and Mia going to do something, and then Jake and Kat going to do something, and it's just a completely normal thing because we're all friends with each other, you know. It kind of sounds weird to say out loud, but in my head it makes sense, and I'm gonna stick with that. Uh and and that's my nice thing, and I I feel good, and maybe now I can go to sleep. So I'm sorry this went over 20 minutes, but it's okay. So uh thank thanks a lot for listening. And uh I know for damn sure in like a week or so I'll have another like 10 complaints lined up. But thank thank you so much for listening. Uh this has been Donkey Boy Lounge, uh Visaric Studio, and uh I'll catch you on the next one.