Episode Three

In this episode I go on a rant about UPS switching to clankers, Nando's insane menu situation, and how certain very particular drivers are pretentious. Hi Geno.

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to the third episode of the Donkey Boy Lounge. Sorry, it's been like well over a month, almost two months actually. Or has it? No. I think it's been a little over a month. Um, but in the boys' chat, Gino keeps telling me I need more Donkey Boy episodes. So uh I don't know why I haven't been doing it as usual, because I have had a lot of complaints in my life, and uh, but I need to I just had kind of like a meltdown, so I'm I'm now calm from that, but I was very mad and uh had like uh an autistic meltdown, which I haven't had one of those in a while, uh probably years. This was like a lot of rage and stuff, so and mainly it's because I'm getting dicked around by UPS right now. And uh so I upgraded my phone. Uh I went with a 17 Pro because uh I don't want to deal with the price increase and all and the bullshit with limited supply and all that shit for the 18 pros coming out, and I got like an $800 trade-in value on my 16 pros, so I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna do that. And so the phone's supposed to show up today, and my neighborhood decided it would be a good idea to repave the street that only exists in front of my house. Uh so I feel like the UPS guy who comes to our neighborhood normally, he already sucks ass. This guy will say ever anything is undeliverable, no matter what. Like you could be standing on the porch, he could see you and call it undeliverable. This guy fucking sucks. I hate UPS. And so I just know that's gonna happen. And I I don't and I and so I went online and I tried to switch it to go to a UPS access point. It just won't let me do it. I've had so many phones go to a UPS access point so that I didn't have to do the waiting around and signing for it game and I could just go and pick it up. But this time, no, I can't do it. It won't let me. It's uh it's attached to my old phone number that I don't have access to anymore, so I can't do fucking anything about it. And so I call UPS, and you know what they've done? They've doubled down. So not only is it AI, it's an outsourced voice of a human being AI. It's a it's like a live chatbot. And guess what? They can't fucking help you with anything because they didn't even understand what I was talking about. And I kept and I asked this thing, I was like, are you AI? And there was like a long pause, and then they kept talking, and it's like, so uh you are AI, because if you were a human, you would just say you're a fucking human being. And they kept calling me Arik. My name is Eric, god damn it. I said it four times. Don't call me Arik. That it's E-R-I-C. It doesn't even have the the letters required to create Arik. God damn it. So I was stuck on the phone with this fucking clanker retard, and you know, and they couldn't help me. They're just like, oh, uh, we can't actually send this to an access point because it requires a signature. I was like, then how the fuck have I been able to do it all the other times? And then there was a long pause again. I was like, can I talk to an actual fucking person? Why why are we doing this? Why why? I mean it it sucked in the past to talk talk to a real person, but they actually understood what the fuck that you were talking about. And now I have to talk to a fucking computer. So of course, this shit's just not gonna get fucking delivered today, and I'm gonna end up in some goddamn round robin fucking tag of getting this fucking phone when and and it also goes back to T-Mobile. Like the 17 Pro is the current phone, like why can't I just go into a store and pick it the fuck up? Why? Uh b back before when I had Verizon, I could just go to the store and get it. Why do I have to why do I have to rely on UPS? Come on. Like these ser everything fucking sucks in this country. Everything is some sort of shithouse scam, or it's the whole all of America is just three raccoons in a fucking trench coat trying to fuck you over at some point. Like we've got all these fucking problems, and I know this is just I'm just ranting because I'm I'm pissed off about the UPS thing, but it goes like everything fucking sucks in this country, and it's all getting more expensive. It's all expensive as shit and it sucks. I thought quality was supposed to go up with price. Why is it all going down and it's going down so fucking rapidly? God damn it. So pissed off at that. And uh, so yeah, so fuck UPS. I know they're gonna undeliverable it because they're a fucking asshole, and he that's just what he does. And fuck my neighborhood, especially the apartments, the apartments who don't give a fuck about us at all, they let their fucking residents park right in front of our house, even though there's a big ass sign out front saying, do not park here, and they don't tow, so we just get fucked on parking. So I don't know, it just the whole thing pisses me off. Oh, and on top of that, since they repaved that street, it the whole neighborhood smells like burning tires now. The entire first floor of my townhouse smells like burning tires. Why did they do this? They couldn't wait until like fall to do it. Like they they had to do it today when it's you know 95 degrees outside. Like, god damn, man. Oh, that did actually feel good to get all that out though. Um, I also want to talk about this other thing that pissed me off. Uh, me and my mom went to Nondo's the other day. Uh Nando's periperry. It's like uh I think it's South African food. Um it's really good. But they have created a very unique situation in their restaurants um that I have not seen before. And it it uh it's kind of a bunch of fuck-ass things put together. So it is a restaurant in a way. Uh you s you wait to be seated, but then seat yourself. Uh and they hand you physical menus. So you got that right? Physical menus in in your hand, a physical menu. In order to order, you have to use a QR code. And you anyone who knows me knows that I don't fucking like the whole QR code thing. And so the QR code doesn't lead to a menu or anything. You have to download their app and you have to order from the app, and it sends it to the restaurant you're currently fucking sitting in to tell them to bring it to your table. What kind of fucking psychopathic shit is that? Have a server, just have someone come here and take our order. Why are you doing it this way? That is so fucking stupid. And of course, the the signal in that restaurant, it's like there's a fucking active EMP going on because the the the app fucking is not working. It's like, why is it like this? I don't I don't want to download an app, and then when I download the app, I just set up like a whole profile, and it was asking me all these questions about like what I like to eat and shit. It's like I don't give a fuck. You handed me physical menus when we walked in. Let us just order from a person, god damn it. I feel so fucking old. Like I agree with boomers. The the technology shit is too far now. We've gone too far with this shit. Bring back human beings doing shit. No more of I don't want apps. I don't want any I I go to Nondos like t I get or I get food from Nondo's like twice a year. I'm not having your fucking app on my phone so you can notify me every goddamn day and all this other shit or send me fucking emails. I don't want that shit. I don't want it on my phone. I already have too many goddamn apps, I don't want another one. There's actually an always sunny episode where Dennis takes like a mental health day and everywhere he goes he gets fucked on some sort of app. And I feel like Dennis in this situation. Like I just stop with the fucking apps already. I don't I don't give a shit about them. I don't want them anymore. I've even I've even considered just going back to a fucking flip phone because I'm so fucking tired of this shit. But now everything is linked to a goddamn cell phone, so you have to have a smartphone or else you're kind of fucking screwed. So I guess the next time I'll have a flip phone is when I'm dying in a fucking nursing home in 30 years or whenever the fuck it is because I'm currently 40 years old. Oh my god. Oh. Okay. So fuck none. I will never go back to Nondo's. That's a never again for me. Uh I do like their food. And you know, or it's funny because ordering it to go was a lot easier than getting it in the restaurant, which I find to be a bizarre twist of fate for restaurants in general. Um so I think uh I've got one other thing that I want to talk about. It's I'm just making these short little blast episodes. I don't I I don't know if I can sustain a 30-minute one or whatever, but like, because I'm just I'm so fucking mad right now. Um so this last one, I'm gonna get a lot of shit for. And because a lot of people I know do this, and but I think backing up into a parking spot is pretentious. I think you're pretentious for doing that. Um, I I don't like when big ass trucks do it, and you have to sit there and wait for them to realign themselves nine fucking times in a busy parking lot. Um just pull into the spot. Or don't buy a gigantic fucking vehicle. That's also another thing. You see them like I'll see 'em with uh the other day, there was this big ass fucking Hummer trying to back up into a handicapped spot. It's like, what are you doing? Why'd you buy a fucking Hummer if you're handicapped? So the handicap m must be mental. Because uh who who buys a goddamn Hummer right now? God I'm like fucking tired now. I I might take I feel like it's too early for a nap. It's noon. I'm s I'm so pissed about the UPS thing. Like my my throat is like shredded because I I was yelling on the phone. And because like I'm not gonna yell at a human being, but I'll yell at a clanker all fucking day. What were those other ones? Uh Jay, we I uh went we went to uh the Chrysler Museum yesterday, which by the way is not a museum for Chrysler cars, but we did find out that uh the the name it it is the car people. It's like the owner, they donated a bunch of art back like 80 years ago or something, and it became the cause the dude's wife was from Norfolk, so that's why it's here. So anyway, but we were uh watching some glass blowing. I got high and it was nice. And um Jake was talking about different like slurs for c uh AI, and uh they said tin skin, which I do like that one. I can't remember the other one they said. Oh, wireback? Which I know is bad. I I sh probably should be laughing at that because we know what they come from, like uh well that one anyway. But uh so yeah, so I'm I'm just really pissed off about the way we're headed. And i everything just sucks. Everything is horrible now. And uh so I guess uh fuck it like do drugs and get drunk and do bad shit. I I don't know, who fucking cares? Who cares about this shit anymore? Anyway. Uh I I hope you enjoyed this episode, Gino. I'm doing it for you, buddy. Um have fun in Wisconsin. Get some culvers for me. Get some cheese curds, take a picture, send it to me. And yeah. Uh so yeah, that was episode three of the Donkey Boy Lounge. So uh I'll I'll try and do these a little bit more often than once a month. But you know. Uh if I have time. I'm doing a lot of photography now, so uh my time has kind of gone into that. But I do I do still have a lot of free time. Anyway, I'm rambling again. So uh thanks for listening if you made it to this point, and uh I'll get you on the next one.