WEBVTT 00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:17.839 Welcome to the Southside Church Podcast, weekly content that inspires all of us to follow Jesus. 00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:28.320 Join us each week for a message from one of our fantastic communicators that provide practical ways to grow our faith, challenge ourselves, and to love others more. 00:00:28.719 --> 00:00:31.440 And now, this week's message. 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.280 All right, here we go. 00:00:35.359 --> 00:00:38.719 Let's okay, so can I can I share something? 00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:40.479 Be authentic and vulnerable here. 00:00:40.799 --> 00:00:42.960 I did not know if that would work so well. 00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:50.000 I didn't think I didn't know if y'all would actually talk to each other, the people you came with, or even just sit and be okay with just listening to the music. 00:00:50.079 --> 00:00:50.960 But y'all did great. 00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:52.079 Way to go, y'all. 00:00:52.399 --> 00:00:54.640 Yeah, it was so good to see see y'all connected. 00:00:54.799 --> 00:00:58.560 So what we did, um, we decided to do something a little different. 00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:00.159 Um it's called questions. 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:01.759 You ask, we'll talk. 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:08.000 So we sent out a link um to some of our small groups, to it's on uh our Facebook group. 00:01:08.079 --> 00:01:11.760 It it's just some questions, and they were come completely anonymous. 00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:20.480 And what we asked was simple um submit questions on God, faith, Christianity, and it'll be completely anonymous. 00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:32.239 Um, and we'll do our best, our best to answer the questions and give you some guidance that we hope that that you can trust, some wisdom that we hope that you can trust from myself and from Tyler. 00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:34.879 Um and you all ask some incredible questions. 00:01:34.959 --> 00:01:45.519 Now, if you didn't get a chance to submit questions this round, believe me, we'll do it again because we got a ton of questions and a ton of great questions, and uh we're gonna jump into that right now. 00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:48.560 So, how would it look is that I'll ask a question. 00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:49.920 We'll start off with our first question. 00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:50.959 I'll ask a question. 00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:54.159 I'll give you about a minute with someone sitting next to you. 00:01:54.239 --> 00:01:59.920 And if you're an introvert and you're like, today is not the day, I don't want to talk to anybody, you can pull out your phone. 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:02.640 I'd love for you to consider answering the question still. 00:02:02.879 --> 00:02:08.879 Um and then Tyler and I will kind of have a conversation about that first question, or then second question, third. 00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:14.879 So we're gonna go through, we have seven prepared today, um, but we may only get to three or four of them. 00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:17.439 Um and so, are y'all ready to jump in? 00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:18.639 There we go. 00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:20.560 So this is gonna be real conversational. 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:24.560 So you can you can we can breathe together, it's gonna be easy. 00:02:24.639 --> 00:02:42.560 Um, but I hope our heart honestly is that it is very, very helpful for you as you consider faith for the very first time, or you've been walking with him for a long time, and as you know this for many of us, the older we get, the less curious we become, and we stop asking questions. 00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:50.879 And so we thought this is a great opportunity for you to consider, okay, how can we push towards being curious again? 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:53.360 Okay, so I want to introduce y'all to Tyler. 00:02:53.520 --> 00:02:57.360 Maybe if this is your first time here, you you've never had the opportunity to meet Tyler. 00:02:57.599 --> 00:02:59.520 I'm gonna read who Tyler is. 00:02:59.680 --> 00:03:00.879 Tyler Thick Penn. 00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:09.759 He grew up in Georgia and has worked in innovative district, private, and charter schools, as well as statewide and uh national nonprofits. 00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:11.840 By the way, I'm reading all three of these pages for you. 00:03:11.919 --> 00:03:12.719 This is his resume. 00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:13.280 I'm joking. 00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:15.120 I'm joking, I'm joking. 00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:24.000 Um, Tyler is co-founder and CEO of the Forest School and Action Academy in Trilliff, the Forest School Online and the Institute of Self-Directed Learning. 00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:32.719 He's the academic director at the University of Pennsylvania, Graduate School of Education, and guest lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. 00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:38.319 So we've got our resident doctor PhD in the room, our resident professor here. 00:03:38.639 --> 00:03:39.439 Oh yeah. 00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:40.400 All right. 00:03:41.280 --> 00:03:44.159 And if we haven't had the chance to meet, I'm Tony. 00:03:45.199 --> 00:03:46.800 He would not let me introduce him. 00:03:46.879 --> 00:03:48.319 He wouldn't let me get into his bio. 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:49.439 Wouldn't, wouldn't. 00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:50.879 So I I've got a question for y'all. 00:03:50.960 --> 00:03:59.840 Have you ever um have you ever asked someone a question and and went, I'm asking for a friend, but it's really for you, kind of for you. 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.840 It's kind of for the friend too, but maybe not. 00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:03.199 It's really more so for you. 00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:05.360 Um, you know why that is though? 00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:11.280 Because asking questions can be extremely dreadful sometimes. 00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:13.360 Because there's a lot of things that go into that. 00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:22.959 A little bit of our pride and ego, like who wants to look like they don't have an answer when they tell us when we get to a certain age we should be so mature, wise, and have all the answers. 00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:30.160 And the people who are the most mature people and wisest people often tell us that they don't know have all the answers. 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:32.079 This is just what they think, right? 00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:40.000 Um, so we figured today, let's just have a conversation around some of the questions that have been um been in our hearts for a minute. 00:04:40.079 --> 00:04:48.160 So the first question we're gonna start off with here is Does God ever get tired of me asking him about everything? 00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:57.279 Now, in the question, it was E V E R R R R R R R R R R R R T H I N G. 00:04:57.839 --> 00:04:59.120 Everything. 00:05:00.240 --> 00:05:06.240 So we're gonna take a moment, maybe about 60 seconds, with a person sitting next to you, behind you, around you. 00:05:06.399 --> 00:05:10.399 I want you to ask them this question and answer this question with each other. 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:13.759 Does God ever get tired of me asking about everything? 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.759 Ready and go. 00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:17.279 All right, here we go. 00:05:17.439 --> 00:05:21.279 Five, four, three, two, one. 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:23.600 Another honest moment. 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:25.519 I don't know if that was 60 seconds. 00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:27.120 It just felt like 60 seconds, right? 00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:27.920 I think we got there. 00:05:28.560 --> 00:05:28.720 Yeah. 00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:30.319 Um, I'd love to hear the conversations. 00:05:30.399 --> 00:05:31.920 Okay, so Tyler is a father. 00:05:32.160 --> 00:05:32.319 Yeah. 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:33.439 You've got kiddos. 00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:34.079 I do. 00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:36.720 Do you ever get tired of them asking you everything? 00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:43.519 Uh I I do. 00:05:43.839 --> 00:05:50.480 Uh my my kids are are 21, uh, 19, 15, and 13, and I love them. 00:05:50.639 --> 00:05:54.800 A couple of them today are actually flying out of the country for like a week and a half. 00:05:54.959 --> 00:05:56.160 So, you know, I want to. 00:05:56.560 --> 00:05:57.600 Wait, wait, wait, where are they going? 00:05:57.759 --> 00:05:58.879 They're going to Europe. 00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:00.800 Um, yeah, with their with their grandma. 00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:01.839 We all want to go. 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:02.800 We all want to go. 00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:14.639 And uh I actually one of the, and I don't know if those of you who are parents and caregivers have a moment like this, but one of the biggest regrets I have in my life, I it was probably 2011. 00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:17.199 Uh I was asleep. 00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:18.879 It was like 2 or 3 a.m. 00:06:19.120 --> 00:06:25.199 in the morning, and my son, my young son at the time, probably pre-K, um, came to my bed and woke me up. 00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:30.079 And y'all, I was not in a great place uh at that season of my life and in that moment. 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:37.839 And um the like the way that I I just didn't have the capacity to like deal with him beside my bed at 2 or 3 a.m. 00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:39.759 And I spoke harshly to him. 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:46.000 And and I've honestly, if I could go back and change one thing about my relationship with my son, I would have gone back and and changed that moment. 00:06:46.079 --> 00:06:50.800 Um, because there's no reason why I should have like spoken harshly to my son, who I love so dearly. 00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:56.240 Um I've since apologized to him, but um and and sp endeavor to like not do that. 00:06:56.399 --> 00:07:07.040 But I think the reality is, I mean, we're we're not God, you know, we are we're humans, uh, we're limited, uh, we we have needs uh that's different, you know. 00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:11.759 Um we we we we are not able to show up like God is. 00:07:11.920 --> 00:07:14.000 And I think that's one of the lovely things about God, you know. 00:07:14.079 --> 00:07:24.639 I mean, God um is some of the theologians talk about God being omnipotent, if you've heard this word, like all powerful, you know, and then omnipresent, like always present. 00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:33.759 Um as a dad, I'm not omnipotent, you know, I'm not omnipresent, um, and I'm not nearly as generous uh, you know, as God, but we have a God who is. 00:07:33.920 --> 00:07:37.680 So for me, this question is like actually, I think this is exactly what God wants. 00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:38.480 You know what I mean? 00:07:38.639 --> 00:07:42.240 It's like he never gets tired, he can take it. 00:07:42.399 --> 00:07:52.959 And and honestly, if you're curious about that, I think maybe reading in the Bible, the the book of Job is probably a great example of a guy who'd just let God have it on all fronts. 00:07:53.120 --> 00:07:55.120 And in the end, God was like, thanks. 00:07:55.360 --> 00:08:03.040 Uh, not thanks, but God was like, this guy, Job, is uh, he knows what's up, you know, because he's bringing me, he's bringing me all the things. 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:09.519 And and personally, um, and I would encourage you, uh if you haven't, but to just be super honest with God. 00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:16.160 Like comp like just just if you if you are completely honest with God, uh, I think you God will meet you there. 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:19.839 Um, you know, that's my experience, and I think that's what the scripture teaches. 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:20.639 But what about you? 00:08:21.279 --> 00:08:22.319 Rick Warren says this. 00:08:22.480 --> 00:08:33.360 He goes, Um, in his book, The Purpose Driven Life, he says, knowing and loving God is our greatest privilege, and being known and loved is God's greatest uh pleasure. 00:08:33.919 --> 00:08:40.639 And then further down he goes, he wants to be included in every activity, every conversation, every problem, and even every thought. 00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:49.840 You can carry out on a continuous open-ended conversation with him throughout your day, talking with him about whatever you are doing or thinking at that moment. 00:08:50.960 --> 00:09:01.200 Prayer without ceasing, it means conversing with God while shopping, while driving, while working, or performing any other everyday task. 00:09:01.840 --> 00:09:04.720 Um it's so funny when we think about prayer. 00:09:04.799 --> 00:09:07.360 I think we often over-spiritualize it sometimes. 00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:15.679 I think we we often can say, okay, if I don't say these particular things in this way, then will God even answer or hear my prayer? 00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:18.639 And often I think it's the exact opposite. 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:25.279 Uh my wife and our son, August, he does this thing all the time to get our attention. 00:09:25.440 --> 00:09:30.960 He just says our name and yells it and won't stop until one of us um kind of turns towards him. 00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:34.960 And if you've been around toddlers or at all or kiddos, you you know how true that is. 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:36.080 They just keep saying it. 00:09:36.159 --> 00:09:48.399 He'll go, Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, until we get his attention. 00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:55.600 And he will then go, once you know, we give him our attention, he goes, Let's talk about truth. 00:09:57.519 --> 00:09:59.600 Doesn't seem like an emergency, right? 00:10:02.080 --> 00:10:06.080 But I wonder for if if we could have that same approach with God. 00:10:06.799 --> 00:10:09.600 Like, hey God, hey God, here's what I'm thinking about today. 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:10.960 Hey God, here's what I'm doing today. 00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:12.159 God, here's what's on my mind. 00:10:12.240 --> 00:10:13.519 God, here's what I'm wondering about. 00:10:13.679 --> 00:10:15.440 God, here's and here's the thing about prayer. 00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:18.960 Prayer is so important that Jesus prayed over 30 times in scripture. 00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:19.600 We see it. 00:10:19.679 --> 00:10:22.480 And he often went along to pray. 00:10:23.440 --> 00:10:28.720 So our encouragement, my hope is that our encouragement is that you would take time to just talk to God. 00:10:29.200 --> 00:10:32.799 And if you're not a follower of Jesus and you're in the room, I encourage you to do the same. 00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:34.639 Ask God, hey, are you real? 00:10:35.759 --> 00:10:44.559 Whatever is your hiccup from taking that next step or getting in the way, the barrier of you following Jesus, my encouragement for you is you present it to him. 00:10:44.639 --> 00:10:47.840 Like, hey, hey, God, here's why it's been hard for me to follow you. 00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:51.039 I want to talk about some of those questions a little bit later. 00:10:51.440 --> 00:10:53.120 Here we go, second question. 00:10:53.840 --> 00:10:58.240 My biggest question is around God's timing. 00:10:59.200 --> 00:10:59.759 All right. 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:02.960 Y'all look like we should give you an hour for this one. 00:11:03.679 --> 00:11:04.240 All right. 00:11:04.559 --> 00:11:09.200 So the prompt is you just start talking about God's timing and what that looks like for you. 00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:11.919 And again, if you're not a follower of Jesus, it's okay. 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:13.039 You can talk about this too. 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:14.720 Engage in this conversation. 00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:15.840 Ready? 00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:17.919 And go. 00:11:18.159 --> 00:11:18.879 Here we go. 00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:19.440 Okay. 00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:20.720 Tyler? 00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:21.200 Me? 00:11:21.360 --> 00:11:22.799 Yeah, you're kicking this one off. 00:11:23.039 --> 00:11:29.200 Yeah, I mean, first of all, I just want to like double double click on the fact that I think this format is very cool. 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:38.480 Like the educator side of me is dorking out because, like, as a whether we're adults or young people, like, learning doesn't happen unless we talk and like make sense of stuff. 00:11:38.559 --> 00:11:38.960 You know what I mean? 00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:44.399 Like, we're all just trying to figure this out and like just getting what's in your brain out into the world, like, helps. 00:11:44.480 --> 00:11:45.679 So I think it's super cool. 00:11:45.919 --> 00:11:46.080 Cool. 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:51.840 Anyway, uh, this question actually, I want to read the rest of it because it was this is what this person said. 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:55.279 I I think right now my biggest doubt is around God's timing. 00:11:55.440 --> 00:12:01.519 I've been praying and asking for something for years, and it's getting to the point where I don't fully believe it's gonna come. 00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:11.120 And I've taken it into my own hands, and it's still not working, which is frustrating, which is leading me into not even wanting to be fully in my faith. 00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:14.879 I mean, I really love that honesty, and I get this. 00:12:15.039 --> 00:12:18.080 Um, I think those of us who've lived long enough, I think we get this. 00:12:18.240 --> 00:12:23.440 Like inevitably something happens in life where we badly, badly want something and we don't get it. 00:12:23.679 --> 00:12:35.600 Um before I started Forrest, I worked with a group of parents about 30 minutes um west of here in South Fulton to launch a different school that was K-8. 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:38.720 Um, and I was a co-founder, a board member. 00:12:38.879 --> 00:12:48.799 And right when we and I like represented the team and argued before the state board to like get the school started, like put a lot of sweat and tears into this school and still love it. 00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:55.679 Um, and right once we got the charter, uh, it's a charter school, uh, we opened up the role for principal and I applied. 00:12:55.759 --> 00:13:00.080 I like the whole time me and the founding team were like, like, yeah, this guy's gonna leave the school. 00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:03.120 And I was stoked about it, and I was gonna move my family there. 00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:06.639 And uh I applied and um I didn't get the job. 00:13:06.960 --> 00:13:10.799 This guy uh kind of swooped in from New Orleans and he was a baller. 00:13:10.879 --> 00:13:13.759 I mean, he was more, they should have, they should have hired him. 00:13:13.919 --> 00:13:16.159 They should have hired this guy over me for sure. 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:19.600 Uh he had more experience, you know, but I was heartbroken. 00:13:19.759 --> 00:13:26.960 I mean, I was like, I was angry, I was confused, I was feeling all the things because this is what I wanted, and I had put so much into it. 00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:41.120 Well, it turns out that uh fast forward about eight months, and the school lost its charter, and which and which means the school could not open, which means that the board could not pay the school leader. 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:50.879 And at the time I had two young kids, and uh I was living in Boston, so I would have moved my family to this place uh with young kids and not gotten paid. 00:13:51.039 --> 00:13:57.519 This other dude who's the baller, he was a single guy, had a lot more flexibility than me, and just he picked up, found another gig, and crushed. 00:13:57.600 --> 00:13:58.159 Yeah, you know? 00:13:58.320 --> 00:13:58.639 Wow. 00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:04.159 And uh honestly, it was God's kindness that I didn't get that, but I could not see that in the time. 00:14:04.399 --> 00:14:07.759 God was so wise, and so I actually now have a list. 00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:15.440 I've got a list of about 20 things on my phone of like moments where I badly, badly wanted something and I did not get it. 00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:21.200 But what I ended up getting on the other side was way, way better. 00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:27.440 So I don't know, what's your list, right? 00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:33.200 Like, I think whoever wrote this question, um, even if you're young, I think you could look back. 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:35.279 God is so faithful, so kind, so wise. 00:14:35.360 --> 00:14:41.039 I think you could look back at times where you didn't get something, but you actually got something better, and and you know, make your own list. 00:14:41.200 --> 00:14:43.120 But that's my making sense of it. 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:44.720 Yeah, that's really good. 00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:48.639 Um I love how Peter writes this in 2 Peter 3 and 8. 00:14:49.200 --> 00:14:51.759 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends, with the Lord. 00:14:51.919 --> 00:14:55.519 A day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 00:14:56.720 --> 00:15:06.080 And I think it's pointing us to the point uh to this that we can get focused, so focused on God's timing that we miss being present with God. 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:20.080 And the more we're present with him, the less we worry or are so concerned about the timing that we're present in the moments with people, with family, with friends, with work, but more importantly, with him. 00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:29.360 And I think God's timing is less about timing and more about the time you spend with him, if that makes any sense. 00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:31.519 Next question. 00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:32.480 Hey. 00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:33.600 Okay. 00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:34.559 All right, y'all. 00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:36.080 We're we're headed there. 00:15:36.240 --> 00:15:39.279 How do I remain faithful during hard times? 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:41.440 Yeah, we're we're taking off the gloves. 00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:41.840 Let's talk. 00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:43.519 We've got 60 seconds, let's go. 00:15:43.679 --> 00:15:44.480 Let's go for it. 00:15:44.559 --> 00:15:47.279 We're gonna be fast friends before today ends. 00:15:47.519 --> 00:15:48.399 All right, here we go. 00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:51.120 I uh I love the conversations that are happening. 00:15:51.519 --> 00:15:52.320 Goodness. 00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:56.159 Um I guess I should have given y'all three minutes on this question. 00:15:56.480 --> 00:16:01.360 Woo! Um, how do I remain faithful during hard times? 00:16:02.159 --> 00:16:08.000 Um how you approach hard times will determine how you experience them. 00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:32.559 And if God is good, which he is, if God is kind, which he is, if God is faithful, which he is, if God is loving, which he is, if God is sovereign, which he is, if God cares so much about you, which he does, if God cares so much about everything around you, which he does, then our pain, our hard times, our suffering aren't by happenstance, aren't by coincidence. 00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:49.759 Which leads me kind of to believe, and I'm processing this out loud with y'all, which leads me to believe that God doesn't use our hard times and our sufferings for nothing, for lack of a better phrase. 00:16:50.080 --> 00:17:09.359 He uses them for one or two, or maybe even maybe more things than this, but he either is using our suffering to help us form into becoming more like Jesus, or he's using them so that we can get to the realization that he is the source of everything that we need. 00:17:11.039 --> 00:17:19.039 That he is the source of our strength, that he is the source of our peace, our joy, he is the source of every single thing. 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:31.359 And so maybe the suffering that we're experiencing, the hard times that we experience are experiencing, are helping us to become more like Jesus. 00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:42.640 And so to stay faithful would also mean that we can't just simply rely on our own strength to get through and grow through our hard times. 00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:46.880 Um growth doesn't happen alone, I don't think. 00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:49.200 I think it's the gym metaphor, right? 00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:54.720 If you want to get stronger at doing some of the things that you love to do in the gym, you have to do more of it. 00:17:54.960 --> 00:18:02.000 Um we can't run, we we won't just go outside right now and go, hey, let's run a 5K without training. 00:18:02.079 --> 00:18:02.880 Maybe you would, Tyler. 00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:03.599 I I wouldn't. 00:18:04.480 --> 00:18:06.720 My hamstrings would be gone. 00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:09.119 Um what are your thoughts? 00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:16.160 I love what you said about uh God being the source and how God will help us to understand that over life. 00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:24.640 Uh if I could just be real real with you now, um not that I haven't been before, but just uh so what are you saying, Tyler? 00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:25.759 So some real talk. 00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:35.920 Uh so I I was married, uh I became married at 24 uh years old and uh married a woman that I thought was gonna be my my wife for my entire life. 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:43.759 And uh in September of 18, um my wife at that time let me know that like nine out of ten she wanted a divorce. 00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:48.559 And uh about six, about about seven months later, um she said, Yeah, I'm out. 00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:50.079 Uh it's not what I wanted. 00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:53.200 Um, it was it was you know, we life is hard. 00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:54.319 We all go through hard things. 00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:56.559 This for me, what this was the hardest thing I had ever gone through. 00:18:56.640 --> 00:18:58.960 It was the scariest thing I had ever gone through. 00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:04.720 And uh I was meeting with a uh therapist at the time, this woman called Marcel. 00:19:05.279 --> 00:19:16.000 And uh, you know, once the divorce became official, she was like, All right, Tyler, now that your divorce is official, you need to figure out how what you did to contribute to a bad marriage. 00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:18.079 And I was like, hold up, Marcel. 00:19:20.160 --> 00:19:24.000 I was like, you I was like, you don't, Marcel, this was not my decision. 00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:29.039 She went, Tyler, you need to figure out how you contributed to a bad marriage. 00:19:29.759 --> 00:19:37.599 Um and for me at that time, taking full responsibility was to follow the rabbit trail of that question. 00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:46.319 And honestly, like I did, and I decided to answer that question for myself, and it's the deepest learning journey that I've ever had in my entire life. 00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:51.599 Um, and it transformed uh who I am as a man, as a father, now as a husband. 00:19:51.839 --> 00:20:05.119 Um, but I remember in the in the in the absolute worst moment, um, you know, I would call up a few friends for me, and I would just like you name it, I mean, scream, yell, wail. 00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:10.240 I would call up friends, just look for comfort, um, confidence, some guidance, some encouragement. 00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:13.200 And uh one of my best friends, this guy called Philly. 00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:14.960 Um was he from Philly? 00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:20.480 No, he uh his name is Chris, but he's so blunt. 00:20:20.640 --> 00:20:22.319 Do y'all know the cigar Philly's blunt? 00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:23.839 Like we called him Philly because of that. 00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:24.559 That's for real. 00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:26.000 We call him Philly. 00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:29.759 He's real talking, super real today, guys. 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:33.279 All right, so we call him Philly because he's so Philly. 00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:36.480 Philly, that's that was what we called him. 00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:40.559 But uh he was in my wedding, I was in his wedding. 00:20:40.960 --> 00:20:42.079 You probably didn't see that coming. 00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:42.720 I did not. 00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:43.839 It is so good. 00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:48.799 But uh Philly said, Philly, like in the moment, I did not know what to do, and Philly was like, Yes, you do. 00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:51.759 He's like, Tyler, you just need to control what you can control. 00:20:52.640 --> 00:21:03.920 In the middle of this, Tyler, you need to be a good husband, which you can control, you need to be a good father, which you can control, you need to be a good boss, you need to be a good friend, you need to be a good son, you need to be a good neighbor. 00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:07.680 And there was just something about that advice in that moment that really grounded me. 00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:18.880 It's like, actually, I can control the choices, you know, the opinions that I have about those roles, what I avoid, I can control what I desire for my relationships, not how I feel, but what I desire. 00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:21.519 I can control what I'm giving great gratitude for. 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:29.599 And I think what I have discovered now, uh living as many years as I have, and is um what you said, the God is a source. 00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:42.240 Um, there are moments in our lives where it is just unbelievably difficult, but 2 Corinthians 12, 9, my grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness. 00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:54.240 Um, and so I don't know, now I'm to the point, honestly, where when bad things happen for me or I perceive them to be bad things, I'm like, how could this be the best thing that could have ever happened to me? 00:21:54.559 --> 00:21:56.480 Um it's kind of where God's brought me. 00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:58.240 Okay, that's really good. 00:21:58.799 --> 00:21:59.119 Wow. 00:22:01.119 --> 00:22:01.279 Okay. 00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:02.880 We're rolling. 00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:06.559 So we're gonna follow you guys for the next questions. 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:15.039 So the way it'll work is once I kinda see that most of the room has sort of started to quiet down, um, then I'll jump in. 00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:19.920 But this one is my favorite question of all, and all are really good, but this one's my favorite. 00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:26.720 Why should I turn the other cheek and let these things happen and affect my life? 00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:29.359 That's a loaded question. 00:22:29.920 --> 00:22:32.799 Um so go for it. 00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:35.759 Okay, here we go, here we go, here we go. 00:22:36.799 --> 00:22:43.359 Um so turning the other cheek, have are most of us familiar with this one? 00:22:43.519 --> 00:22:47.519 Turning the other cheek, we kind of know what that is a little bit, maybe. 00:22:47.920 --> 00:22:55.680 So my assumption is because this person uses phrase, they kind of they are familiar a little bit with Matthew's gospel, they're a little bit familiar with scripture. 00:22:55.759 --> 00:23:01.759 Um, and so turning the other cheek is something that here I'll read a little bit of it in Matthew 5.38. 00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:02.480 Jesus says this. 00:23:02.640 --> 00:23:06.240 He goes, You've heard that it was said eye for an eye, two for tooth. 00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:09.200 Um, but I tell you, do not resist an evil person. 00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:12.720 If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other cheek also. 00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:19.519 Did y'all know, by the way, that there is a slapping competition? 00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:21.200 It's like professional. 00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:23.200 And none of you told me. 00:23:23.519 --> 00:23:27.039 By a show of hands, how many of you would sign up for that? 00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:29.839 Yeah, no. 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:33.119 Okay, so guess what, Tyler and I are about to do? 00:23:35.599 --> 00:23:36.160 Are you ready? 00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:36.799 Here we go. 00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:38.480 No, I'm j I'm I'm joking. 00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:43.519 I think I'm let this guy slap me. 00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:46.240 No question, no, I'm not even. 00:23:46.480 --> 00:23:54.240 Um, okay, so but just imagine for a second if if there were ten times the amount of people in this room. 00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:57.279 Tyler comes up to me, right, and you can do the motion. 00:23:57.359 --> 00:23:59.359 Just, you know, don't don't follow through. 00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:00.880 Um please. 00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:01.359 No. 00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:02.559 Well, wait, wait for it. 00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:05.200 Wait, uh, or you can do it in mid-sentence. 00:24:05.599 --> 00:24:07.440 Surprise me with it, and I just feel win. 00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:13.599 Um, uh, but imagine that happens. 00:24:13.759 --> 00:24:20.480 Okay, so your first my your your first thought of this is that if he's slapping me, he's trying to do what? 00:24:20.799 --> 00:24:22.160 He's trying to do harm. 00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:26.319 But would you would you guess that it would be physical or more emotional? 00:24:27.759 --> 00:24:28.400 Both. 00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:29.039 Okay. 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:39.279 So the culture in which um scripture was written, it would be, it would lean heavily more towards an emotional um harm, right? 00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:44.240 That they wanted to do damage to to who you perceived, who you were perceived to be. 00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:46.720 So they wanted to embarrass you, basically. 00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:54.000 The idea was that you would be embarrassed, and then um you would feel shame and dishonor. 00:24:54.720 --> 00:24:57.200 So Jesus knows that this is part of the custom. 00:24:57.279 --> 00:24:59.680 He he knows that this is how people view this. 00:24:59.920 --> 00:25:04.640 And so imagine for them hearing this, that they've probably seen an interaction like this. 00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:11.440 They've seen someone slap someone else in public, and then they probably would run and hide in shame. 00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:14.240 And Jesus is saying, You ready? 00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:15.599 All right, here we go. 00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:19.440 Jesus is saying that when you boom, right? 00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:22.079 Oh, I thought he was gonna go through it. 00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:27.599 To do that, if this happens, to do this. 00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:50.160 When our natural response is to do so, he's bringing this upside-down kingdom in the way we think about following Jesus, in the way we think about trusting God with every single thing, to also go, hey, um, when they try to, you can do it again for the example here, boom, and then you do this. 00:25:50.480 --> 00:26:02.000 You're saying, although you're trying to, they're saying by turning the other cheek, although you're trying to make me feel shame and dishonor, you don't have that power to do that. 00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:06.319 You don't have the authority to change how I see myself. 00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:09.519 You don't have the authority to change how I feel about me. 00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:18.319 Because all of my identity is not wrapped up in where I am in this present moment, but it is in the hope and love of Jesus. 00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:19.680 Isn't that good? 00:26:20.640 --> 00:26:21.279 What? 00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:32.079 So, which means the argument that you had on the way in, you can meet that argument with kindness. 00:26:35.440 --> 00:27:00.640 And for all of us here who are followers of Jesus, when you think about being in this community together, when you think about that, uh we have this unique opportunity to extend uh love and grace and hope to one another, to to go that, hey, for us, for those of us who are followers of Jesus, to think of it this way, to go, hey, we're not the the problem. 00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:03.599 The thing is the problem. 00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:08.559 It's not our relationship with one another, it's the thing that's getting in the way of that relationship. 00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:11.119 Was that helpful? 00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:13.519 I don't think I can add to that. 00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:17.680 We've got about three minutes left because I want to get you out of here before brunch. 00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:19.839 Um maybe, maybe not. 00:27:20.480 --> 00:27:20.799 Okay. 00:27:21.519 --> 00:27:28.559 Um these are really good. 00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:30.640 All right, I'm gonna read this question. 00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:31.359 Here we go. 00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:34.720 I've only been to church a few times. 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:40.559 And before I began attending here, I've never gone to any church before, which is so awesome. 00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:42.079 Thank you for being here. 00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:43.279 Like, come on. 00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:46.400 Um, how do I know this is a place for me? 00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:49.440 And what should I be looking for in a church? 00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:52.400 And when do I become a part of a church? 00:27:53.359 --> 00:27:54.000 Ready? 00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:55.839 Go. 00:27:56.960 --> 00:27:57.599 Here we go. 00:27:57.759 --> 00:28:03.759 Okay, so I'm gonna I'm gonna see if Tyler can can get this one done. 00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:04.640 Here we go, Tyler. 00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:05.680 You can answer this one. 00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:06.960 Yep, yep. 00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:11.839 Uh so when I I went to a Bible school in uh Vancouver, British Columbia. 00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:13.279 Do we have any Canadians here? 00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:14.480 Any Canadians here? 00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:15.279 Canadians? 00:28:15.519 --> 00:28:21.119 It was a totally rad school, and one of my Bible teachers was a guy called Eugene Peterson who ended up writing the message. 00:28:21.279 --> 00:28:29.599 Um, and this guy, Eugene, had this belief that uh the church for you was the one that was just closest to your house. 00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:33.519 It's like just get in your car and drive to the bath before, isn't it? 00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:36.240 Or just like walk, you know what I mean? 00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:48.640 And uh he was serious, kind of not serious, but like I think the underlying principle is like there's a lot of different expressions of faith, you know, there's a lot of different flavors, you know. 00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:52.319 It's like being in an ice cream shop, there's no bad choices, you know. 00:28:52.559 --> 00:29:05.200 Um, but the the common theme is that like a group of people who are trying to like understand and follow the person of Jesus and believe that Jesus is really at the center of uh of everything. 00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:21.519 And in terms of like what they do when they get together, uh for me, I was really compelled by this um this guy who just sort of asked, like, when you look at churches in Peru, in the United States, in Syria, in China, in Belgium, like what do they have in common? 00:29:21.759 --> 00:29:23.119 And his answer was real simple. 00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:27.279 It was uh worship, witness, and community. 00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:32.960 Like typically, like everybody in these churches, they're finding a way to just give praise to Jesus and worship. 00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:36.480 They're witnessing, you know, meaning almost like a witness in a in a courtroom. 00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:43.680 They're talking about what they have seen and what they have heard, and um, and they're trying to like get to know one another, as Tony mentioned. 00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:46.480 And so that's kind of how I make sense of church. 00:29:46.559 --> 00:30:02.559 I I think it's uh, you know, even this morning is a very, I think very cool format that Tony came and the leadership team came up with because it challenges the American notion of church that it's like sit and get, you know, just like kind of a consumer mentality where you come and listen to some like great speech or something. 00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:09.279 This is really about participating, you know, it's really about talking and making sense of life and ultimate reality and how do we like follow Jesus? 00:30:09.519 --> 00:30:11.200 I think that's really at the center. 00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:22.559 Um, you know, and I do think that's if you look at churches even in our area, that's what we have in common, just trying to follow Jesus and trying to make sense of the world and uh and having different expressions of work, wit worship, witness, and community. 00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:23.039 But I don't know. 00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:23.599 What do you think? 00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:26.079