Kayla - Cooper Union

In today’s episode, co-hosts Sophia and Rosabelle speak with Kayla, a 2026 graduate of Cooper Union School of Engineering in New York City. Kayla describes growing up in a competitive, tight-knit town with strict parents, a childhood centered on swimming and academics, and early pressure—starting in kindergarten—to get good grades and attend a top college. At Cooper Union in Manhattan, she experienced the intensity of engineering coursework, the lack of privacy in a tiny campus, shifting friendships, and the need for boundaries. Kayla reflects on gaining confidence in herself and her abilities in a male--dominated environment and using her voice to stand up for others on campus. Plus, what she wishes she knew going into college, and how her first year helped shape her confidence and the values she carries into her life today. 

Be sure to check out other episodes in the My First Year series, wherever you get your podcasts.

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:09

This is my first year in college. A podcast about that defining first year, often away from home, when every choice, challenge, and discovery begins to shape who you become. I'm Sophia.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

And I'm Roosevelt. For each episode, we speak with a guest who shares with us their own experience during this transformative time. For today's episode, we spoke with Kayla, a 2026 graduate from Cooper Union School of Engineering.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

In our conversation, Kayla shared with us that as early as kindergarten, she felt pressure to get into a grade college and to excel academically. But over her four years of undergrad, she learned more than how to get an A in chemical engineering. She discovered the importance of standing up for others, using her voice, and staying true to who she is.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Keila opened up about what she wishes she knew going into college and how her first year helped shape her confidence and the values she carries into her life today. We hope her story connects with you. Thanks for listening. Yeah, hi Kayla. It's great to see you. Thank you for having me. Thanks for being here. To start off, could you just tell us a little about yourself? Where did you grow up? What did your family look like? What was your childhood like?

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Um, I'm from New Jersey and born and raised New Jersey, so haven't really left the area. Um I grew up with a pretty big family. I have two twin brothers, a sister, and then my mom and dad, but I'm the oldest of four. So definitely had to take on that order sibling responsibility. But um I guess like my childhood in general, I had a very active childhood, um, really active in sports. I was a competitive swimmer year-round, so I did that continuously. I lived in a really small town, really tight-knit community. So I would like hang out with my friends all the time, and I lived by a lake. So I would go swimming in my lake, paddle boarding, um, which is really nice. So I had a really fun and very um energetic, I'd say, childhood.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Yeah, what was your dream job as a kid? To be the president of you of the United States. You you mentioned you had that eldest child responsibility. Can you talk a little bit more about what that looked like? And did you feel pressure to set an example for your younger siblings?

SPEAKER_01 2:59

For sure. I really I would say I felt like I did have a lot of responsibility and just like this expectation to kind of like almost set the standard for my siblings. And I was like the guinea pig a little bit um within my family since you know I was the first child uh to start like the college process and even the process itself of just applying to university was very different between the four of us. But I would say I really like being an older sibling. Um, I can like boss my siblings around a little with all re in reason, of course. But um yeah, I would definitely say there was a little bit of pressure. I definitely felt that going into high school and all throughout high school, um, especially when I was going through COVID, since COVID was during my like junior going into like senior year a little bit. But I would say I I like being an older sibling. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the placement. I like being the oldest.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

What were your parents like um when you were growing up? How how for how many years were you like the only child?

SPEAKER_01 4:13

I was an only child for two years, but my mother always said um I really enjoyed being an only child for those two years. My sister is the second in the four of us. So when she came home, my mom said I always made comments like, Oh, can we bring her back? Like, why is she here? I don't want her here. Um but yeah, and then like a few years later, my brothers were born. But that was when I was like around five. So I had like a very busy house my entire life, always had company, which I feel like really put like created my personality. I really like being around people, and I kind of like the noise around me. But I guess like growing up, like my my mom was always with me. She was a stay-at-home mom, and I was like really fortunate to always like have her with me. And um, I had Asian parents, they were definitely strict and everything, but I do I would say it definitely built like perseverance and integrity for me. It definitely shaped me into the person I am today. So I'm very grateful for that.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

What were they strict about?

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Oh, I would say like obviously academics, like very on top of my academics, making sure like I do well in school and like curfew-wise. Um, always had like a strict curfew, but I never really hung out too too much. I was a very busy child. Um my entire life was pretty much like swimming and academics. So I would like swim for four hours a day, and then I go to school and I do my homework. So I never really had time to like go out too much, but I would say also just um making sure I got didn't get into trouble. I remember like one of the biggest things was I wasn't allowed to have social media, so I didn't have like Instagram or even like LinkedIn until I was a senior. So I never had like Snapchat or anything like that. But I will say I am very grateful that my parents didn't allow me to have that at like such a young age. I think it really kept me out of drama and kept me out of like trouble, um, especially when I'm young and you're like very ignorant and very naive to like the world around you. So I was grateful. So even though like they were strict, but it came with like prose in the end, I would say.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Yeah. And Mountain Lakes is a um, it's a really like real small town, right? It just has such a small town, like rural feel to it, even though I mean location-wise, it's not that far from New York City, but it feels like worlds away from New York City.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

It certainly does. It's I like to almost describe the town as like like Gilmore Girls, it kind of feels like it's a very small East Coast town. And when I say small, it's like literally like two miles long, so it's very tiny. Um, but it because of that, like I think it makes the community very tight, and you really get to know everybody. So I knew everyone growing up. Um, we kind of like went through middle school, elementary school, and high school together. So you really get to know the community and like the neighbors, especially.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

And um, do you remember when you started thinking about college? Did your parents always talk to you about that? Or was that something that you started thinking about at some point along the way in high school?

SPEAKER_01 7:50

I thought about college when I was in kindergarten. What? Yeah, I was like, oh my god. I for some reason I was such a serious child growing up. Like when I was in kindergarten, like preschool, I was so determined to be like the president of the United States and like go to like some top-tier university and you know be like this huge big version of myself. But I I like knew I wanted to go to college immediately, like just entering school. I I want to say like it was my parents, but I really think it was just me. I think I was just a very on top of it serious little girl. Um, but I've I really will say like college, which is something I always thought about growing up. And I think especially like in my town, like everyone's very competitive, but they were very well spoken and very like comfortable in their competitiveness. So it was not it wasn't too too toxic. Um, but it definitely like college was always a mindset growing up, like in and even in middle school, starting middle school, I'm like thinking about every single thing I could do to prepare myself for college admissions. And then once like high school hit, I was like so determined to do every single thing like you're kind of like supposed to do to apply to college and everything. But then COVID hit and it it really took a turn in the way like things were typically run and like my thought process and everything. So that was certainly impactful in itself. Yeah, what was that like? COVID for me, it started the end of my sophomore year, and I was pretty much online my entire junior year, and I would say it I think it definitely took a hit in like I guess my education as well as just like my own preparation for college. Um I wasn't able to swim, which you know, in my head, I was like almost preparing to try and get recruited for swimming. So I wasn't able to swim for like months. And then all the clubs I was part of, you know, they weren't running at school because of COVID. And then my entire education was like online for almost more than a year. So I felt like there was definitely like a learning gap, even entering university to some extent, because I just didn't have like certain foundations that I think was expected before COVID.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

So you mentioned that you swam four hours a day when you couldn't swim anymore. How are you spending your time in those days?

SPEAKER_01 10:35

I think it was really rough. I I'm the kind of person where it's like if I'm not busy, something's wrong. If I'm not doing something, like I'm not doing enough. So when COVID hit, something that was such a huge aspect of my life was now kind of being taken away a little bit. And I think it was really hard to find something to replace that. So um, I mean, during COVID though, like I ended up starting a grassroot like charity with my family, like to kind of pass the time. What we would do is we would collect non-perishable snacks and like um PPE products and donate it to like hospitals and like first responders um to make an effort in helping with COVID. So I think that was something I did, but I think it was like I am grateful for that period though. I think it was a really great reflection time for me, and I think it really like gave me more of a perspective of what life really is about, and it's not just like college, college, college, college, which I think I was I felt like I was trained for my entire life.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

And you were saying you felt like that training that was just self-motivated, it wasn't anything you were necessarily told.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

I think it was I think it was both, because I grew up thinking college was the purpose of like my life at one point. And I think even like my peers around me, like I won't even want to say it was really the parents as much, but like my peers as well, my friends, all of us were very motivated to get into like the best university possible. And I think, you know, when I was younger, I think a lot of us equated, like whatever university you go to is like is get like is your self-worth essentially. So I think that was like a huge thing, and I think that really took a toll on me because I think you know, I put this high expectation. I think we all did, like me and my friends, we put just a high expectation on where we're supposed to be and what we had to do to prove our self-worth. And I will say that like that is not the mindset um anyone should be in. But I think, you know, growing up and being in such a competitive environment, I always want to say we're like bred and everything that we did in middle school and high school was for this one moment. So I think it really like I am so grateful for COVID though, because I think it really honed in on like the purpose of life almost to me, to say it.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Yeah, definitely. So, did you have a school? What was your school that you wanted so so much to be at?

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Okay, for me, I didn't even know exactly what I wanted to do, and that was like the biggest thing because I felt like you're kind of told in high school, like you need to know what you want to do to know what college you're gonna go into, then to know what major, and I didn't know that yet. So I guess like um I guess my IED'd to Dartmouth, and that was like the school I really wanted to go to, and I got rejected from there. At first, it was such like a heartbreaking moment for me because I was like, damn, like I I put all this effort in just to get rejected. But I I think I am grateful though. I think I did end up in the school that was the best fit for me and like my needs, especially and what I wanted. So I'm grateful for the way it turned out.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

Yeah, so tell us which school you ended up going to.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

So I ended up going, it's a long name. So I ended up going to the Cooper Union for the advancements of science and art, but we we just call it Cooper Union for short. It's a tiny little school in the heart of like Manhattan, downtown Manhattan. And um, when I say tiny, like we literally have three schools and like a total, maybe like eight majors. So we have an engineering school, art school, and architect school. And it has a very set curriculum. So we didn't really have a core curriculum where, like, maybe in other universities, you can choose a humanities class or a language class. We didn't have that. I took one humanities class a semester. I didn't really have any flexibility in classes I could take because everything was set for me. So when I registered for courses, I never had to battle anyone. Maybe at like other universities where people did. It was already set for me. So there was a lot of structure, which was nice. I'm a wishy-washy person sometimes, so I didn't really have to make a lot of decisions. Um, but yeah, it was very tiny. And when I say tiny, it was a total of like 800 students in my entire school. I really knew everyone. It was very similar to high school because my high school was almost that big. So I almost like sometimes I like to describe Cooper as a an extension of my high school career. That's what it felt like.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

Rose about this, uh, Kayla, have you beat as far as the size of the college?

SPEAKER_00 15:39

I went to an even smaller school, which is hard to believe. Yes, but yeah, my school is about 450 students, which is tiny. So it's less that you know everyone, and it's more, well, you do know everyone, but everyone also knows all your personal business.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

That's exactly.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

I didn't love it's hard to be. Sometimes you just want to be anonymous in college, and it was like you couldn't be.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

So yeah, I definitely felt that. You felt that way too. For sure. It was very um there was no sense of privacy as well. Especially my first year, I was living in the dorms of everyone because only first years had dorming. So you're trapped with these, no, I won't say trapped, that's kind of negative, but you're stuck with these people for an entire year, actually four years total. But you're living together, you're taking the same classes together, you see each other every day, you know everyone's business. Like I didn't even I didn't even need to talk to anyone to know what was going on in their life. I already knew because I heard it from a neighbor, and I think that was like I think that was like one of the biggest things. There was no sense of privacy. Everyone knew everyone's business. So it was very interesting.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

So, what was it like preparing to go to school there? Do you remember when you were packing up, getting ready to move on campus? And then what was the the first day like when you finally got there?

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Leading up to it, I was really excited because I would be living in the city. I have that like classic city life I was like envisioned myself having. So I was very excited, like packing everything. Um, I was like starting to pack like a month beforehand. My parents and I we went to like Costco. We did so many Costco runs together, buying like toilet paper and paper towels. Um, so leading up to it, it was like really exciting. And even in the moment when I'm like first moving in, like you're new, everyone's trying to make friends, everyone's trying to get to know each other. So everyone's very like talkative and very open. Um, I was like moving into the dorm. So my dorm was literally a block away from Cooper. And for like a little more context, Cooper Union's only like two buildings, so I was very close to everything. So that entire process was like really exciting. I like met my roommates, and then I was like moving in and settling down. I had to say bye to my parents. Um, I wasn't too sad to be honest, because I live so close to New York. I was like, oh, I'll see them next week. It wasn't that so it wasn't too sad. Um, and then like on the first day, I think it was just very exciting. I think I, you know, you're kind of like dreaming up to this moment of going into college and it finally happened. So I was like really excited to meet people and to like go out and explore the city and to like start taking classes, um, which was a huge thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Yeah. Well what were you like back then? How did you introduce yourself to new people?

SPEAKER_01 18:42

I would say I think that I was much more open back then. I think after four years, I've become much more uh not quiet, but much like more selective and like who I talk to. But back then I was like, oh my gosh, like it's so nice to meet you. Um, like I'm trying to remember everyone's name. I'm like, oh, we should hang out sometime, like we should get dinner. So, like first week, like welcome week, I was going out every night, like getting dinner with people, meeting people, having people in my dorm. Um, because you're like trying to find your friend group, essentially, like your first year, you know. And I think everyone's in like that same position. Nobody knows anyone, so everyone's just trying to make as many friends as possible and like talk to as many people as possible, which I think is like is really nice and it's good. I feel like a lot of people experience that, but then once again, you go to I went to a very small school, so it's like um you really got to know everybody, and I feel like everyone really got to know you. You kind of start building a reputation for yourself that first week. That's like probably one of the most impactful weeks because it's like people's first impression of you and everything. So I felt like I had to be on my A game the entire time. Had to make sure like I was really happy and bubbly and smiley and everything.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Yeah, I completely agree with that. I remember my first week of college and obviously feeling a lot of nerves. And I think unfortunately, it does set an expectation of you for the rest of the year of that's the first impression someone has of you. And so if you're not social or excited, or I remember there was this open mic the first day, and I was too nervous to perform, and then I regretted it so much because I was thinking, oh, that's how people it would maybe get to know me. And so I do feel like people are really trying to put themselves out there and show themselves as much as they can to set themselves up with these friends for the rest of the year. Yeah, for sure. Did you find that those those dinners you were going on, did those friendships stick throughout the year? No, no, I think that's really normal, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

I think so. I feel like everyone could say that. Like the people you meet during welcome week is typically the people that you don't really talk to. Like, I'm still on good terms with them, obviously, but I think one thing that really separated us was like our classes. Like, I was talking with like art students, and I don't have a single class with an art student. I was like starting my engineering classes day one, like no intro, no syllabus, and then we started learning. So it like welcome week, like that one week was such a different vibe than when I actually started classes that went from like, oh lovely, like, yeah, you were meeting people too. You need to lock in, you need to be serious, like this is in games, this isn't fun in games anymore. No, oh my gosh, it felt like it was such a different vibe shift. Like, you to you see people entering, like you see the freshmen, they're all happy. You see them in a month, and they the life is just drained out of them.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

You mentioned that you didn't have social media as a teenager. What was it like suddenly having someone? Social media for the first time in college. I only had Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

I never used Snap. I think I had Snap for like a week. And then I I didn't like that experience because some person asked me for nudes. And then after that I deleted the app and I was like, I'm not using this again. But having like being able to have um like I guess social media was really nice. It just felt like a little more I was like more included in the community. Because everyone uses social media and that's how like people communicate nowadays. Like I felt like I was able to know what was going on a little more. Like I was more in the loop, I can say.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

Do you guys spend much time talking about the impact of AI on your careers, your future?

SPEAKER_01 23:01

For sure. It was interesting because my first year, we didn't have AI. Like AI wasn't really a thing until like my sophomore year. So like I had one normal year without needing to worry about like AI detection or like plagiarism or anything. Like everything was more self-reliant. Um, but you could definitely see it, at least like in my college career. Um, I think there was such a heavy reliance on AI. Like when you don't know something, just ask AI. If you need a help with something, ask AI. Oh, you don't want to do your homework, ask AI. And I think that did something. And then with the mix of like the COVID stuff, ooh, no, it wasn't it wasn't great. Um, but I think like I like it taught me a lot like to not rely on it. Like at least in chemical engineering, it was and like the field I'm going to like into biomedical. You really need a strong foundation, like you really need to know it. And I also for me, I think I take pride in in knowing the material that I'm learning. So I try not to rely on AI as much. Yeah. But I think no one can say I've never used AI, or I don't think AI is evil. I don't, I don't think AI is bad. Um, I think AI is a really good tool. Tool. But you don't want to make AI like your identity and like your in your academic career. I think it was also really difficult because like, you know, my school started having like these AI detectors, and these AI detectors are not accurate. I would write research papers and they would detect it as like AI because when you write a research paper, it's very systematic and very like formatted in a very specific way, follows like an algorithm, and they would just flag it as AI. So I think it was like this huge thing of like, okay, we have AI, AI is good, but can we trust it? And this is like for students and also like the administration. But I think, you know, for Cooper at least, they never banned AI. So in a lot of my classes, uh, they would make our assignments very, very, very specific where you cannot AI like these homework assignments. You can use as a tool, but you can't AI to add to a work. Um, and I think that's where I feel like our education is like pushing towards like creating more niche assignments, niche things to like detect AI or like to prevent AI.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

You mentioned that you didn't know what you wanted to do in high school going into college, but I'm guessing you had some sense of a STEM interest going to this school. So what was that like for the classes you took? Were you happy you didn't have to take many humanities classes?

SPEAKER_01 25:57

I was so happy. I was so happy. Oh my gosh, even on the SAT, like I didn't like my math was like perfect, and then like once it came to the writing, I oh, it was so rough. So I was so happy I didn't have to read a single book. Like the books I was reading in college was my textbooks. Like that's what I'm reading. I'm reading my like chemistry textbooks. So I didn't have to do like really any reading, no heavy writing. I think like my humanities classes was oh, by the end of the semester, just write one essay. In high school, I was part of like a vocational school, so it's like one of those like specialized high schools where you focus on a specific topic. So I went to a vocational school that was specialized in biotech. So throughout my four years of high school, all I did was like biotech. So I was doing like experiments like gel electrophoresis, DNA extraction throughout those four years. So I feel like for me, I was like, oh, I'm already doing this, might as well just continue it in college, easy peasy, because I didn't really know what I wanted to do. But I am grateful I'm continuing this path even after college, since I found like such a deep interest in it throughout those four years. Um, so I picked the right major, which was good. I felt like I was finally able to like learn things and do things that I actually wanted to do, rather than having to do like all these other classes that didn't pertain to my major as much.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

So at what point uh did you realize that oh I I am really loving this and I really, as you said, you had you developed a deep interest in what you were studying?

SPEAKER_01 27:43

I really think it hit the most my second semester first year. Because my first semester, I'm taking like more of my math and chemistry. My second semester is where I actually started getting more into chemical engineering. My favorite class I ever took my first year, or even in general, was physical principles of chemistry. And that was my first taste of what actual like chemical engineering kind of is. And I had like a really amazing professor that taught very well and made me very passionate about what I was doing.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

What was special about this professor and how they taught the class?

SPEAKER_01 28:24

He was very passionate, he was very passionate in what he was teaching and talking about, and he was so well versed in the subject, like he knew it very well, and he was very on top of up-and-coming trends, new research going on in his field and like physical chemistry, and you know, it was very classic like chalkboard teaching. So the professor would come up, write everything on the chalkboard, do everything by hand, and you just have to sit there and listen and take the notes. But he made the lectures interesting, and I think you can really tell when a professor likes what like what they're doing. So the fact that he was so passionate about it, I think made students respect him more. Like he wasn't just doing it because he had to, he was doing it because he wanted to.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

How did college in general just feel different than high school? Like, can you describe some of the the biggest culture shocks or differences that you noticed?

SPEAKER_01 29:30

I had more freedom, I had like so much more freedom. I didn't have a curfew, I could do what I want. I was like, oh, I could be rebellious now. So like my rebellious face was getting a second piercing, very rebellious. Um but I felt like I had much more autonomy in what I could do. And I'm living in the city, so I can like really go anywhere, I can do anything I kind of want. Um, and I think that was like the biggest thing. And I think this idea of like so many opportunities and people I can meet, like not even just like at Cooper, but like people in New York. Yeah. Because there's so like New York is where it's at, is like what people say. I think the only thing was caught that made me realize this college is really not that different from high school, besides just you living on your own. Um, like I feel like even the way friend groups are and like the way like drama happens, like it still feels so much like high school and you're still so young. So it's like it didn't the culture shock wasn't really from like college itself, it was more from the area I was living in.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Was living in New York a dream that you'd had for a long time?

SPEAKER_01 30:43

Oh, for sure. I like like you know, you watch Friends, you watch like um like How I Met Your Mother, like sex in the City, you watch all these shows, you're like, wow, like I want to live that life. So I really felt like I was living in a dream. I had like, I felt like I had what I a lot of people would want like growing up or like moving to New York. So I was like really fortunate. I was like really excited. I was like finding all like these new places to go to, like these food spots, like sample sales, um, like pop-ups, because there was always something happening. Um I like tried all these new things too, like art classes, pottery classes that I felt like I never really did in high school, which was really exciting.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Did you do um a lot of these things with your with your friends?

SPEAKER_01 31:34

Yeah, I did. I did I would say I did a lot of my like a lot of this stuff with like my roommate at that time and like friends that I made during my freshman year. Um, definitely I would say my friends and my friend group changed a lot throughout my four years for sure.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Can you talk a little bit more about your friend group, your first year of college? And even first semester to second semester sometimes can look really different.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

For sure, I would say I was talking to so many more people my first semester. I had a lot more friends, I was hanging out with a lot more people, I was talking to more students outside of engineering, and then when I became the second semester, like out like all my classes were with engineering students. So I really was only talking to people I was in classes with. And I think because of that, like I kind of disconnected a little bit with some of the friendships I did have my first year. But my like friendships definitely changed so much just between each school year, even each semester. I like to always tell my friends each semester is like a new season of a show, something always happens, and like you just don't know what's gonna going to happen at all either. So it's it's always like a new chapter.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

Yeah. What kind of things happened that changed your friend group or did what was important in the friendship or in relationships evolve over time for you too?

SPEAKER_01 33:02

I think for me, if I think it was just like learning how to set boundaries. Um, because like kind of like how I mentioned, I went to such a small school, so there was like no privacy at all. Like when something happens, everyone found out about it. Um and I think that was like a big thing. I really started to realize, like, oh, like I really value my privacy and what's going on in my life. And I don't really, I kind of was like, oh, I don't really want to hang out with people that don't really respect that kind of boundary. Um, especially when I feel like I was in such an intense environment with like my schoolwork and everything. Um, and I think like another thing was just like drama, like always that first-year drama and like people saying things, things gang around. And I think because of that, like that made me much more reserved and much more conservative in how I picked my friendships and who I chose to hang out with. Um, it was really easy for like rumors and like drama to go around. I I feel like people were very bored my first semester. Like people were always talking and everything. And this just this doesn't just like pertain to me or anything. I think this is a very common experience that happened in my my year and my other and even with my my other friends. So I think that alone definitely changed how I view friendships and how I interact with people. And I think this slowly started to change, or just continued, if anything, throughout my four years. Um, the person I was my first semester of college is very different than the person I am now and who I choose to talk to and who I choose to hang out with for sure.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

Besides being a little more like extroverted and social, your first year house, would you describe first year, Kayla?

SPEAKER_01 34:57

I would say very open. I was so open to doing everything. I took like leadership roles in like four clubs, and even looking back to this day, I was like, how how did I manage to do that? But I think like it it all went back to that aspect of just like trying to find your community. I wanted to explore all my options and like try to set myself up for the best I could be. I was very determined in being like, okay, I'm gonna make the most out of my four years, and I'm gonna try to do everything I can to make it worthwhile. So I really I did everything. I was like in SWE, um, Society of Women Engineering. I was in like Aiky, which is like the Chemical Engineering Society, I was in the undergraduate research club, I was in like student council, I did like everything just to test the waters, which was nice. Like I really enjoyed it. Um and I feel like I created a lot more friendships that way. And I think it was nice because it introduced me to people outside of my year, and I think that was really important talking to people outside of your year, and it just kind of like made me feel a little more grounded, if anything. I feel like you get really caught up in like your first year drama, your first year classes, your first year whatever, and you sometimes miss the point of what college is all about. So it was really nice to have that.

SPEAKER_02 36:20

Yeah. So with your involvement with these clubs and um and also taking classes that you really enjoyed, um, I wonder what that uh taught you about yourself. You know, what were things that um you were experiencing that made you realize, oh, this is this is who I am. This is something I really love doing, and and this is what um you know lights me up.

SPEAKER_01 36:49

I will say I think a lot of it comes from the way my parents raised me. My mother, she's a very strong woman, very high achieving, and I think she always taught me like, you know, you always want to be the person who like starts something. You want to be the person to initiate something, don't be a follower, be like a leader. And I kept that in mind. I always kept that in mind throughout high school and going into college and even throughout college and out of college, even before college. I had like all these leadership positions as well, like started a charity. I was a volunteer firefighter. Um I helped start like, yeah, I would, I it was like a side quest. I was like, oh my gosh, that sounds like so much fun. So me and my friend were like, okay, let's become volunteer junior firefighters our last year of high school. And that was like really exciting. Oh my gosh, that was so much fun. I would love to do that again. So that's what like motivated me to even be part of all these like, you know, leadership positions, but just part of like these clubs as well. Like I wasn't afraid to go after things. I really saw like the importance of leadership within my like within my university. So I think one of the biggest positions that stood out to me was um when I was like president of the engineering student council, I was going to administrative meetings, I was going to faculty meetings, I was going to board meetings. So I really saw like the ins and outs of the university and even how it was run. And I think that made me just very interested in how things were working behind the scene.

SPEAKER_03 38:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

And I wanted to be part of that. Like I wanted to be one of those people who like made a difference and like helped others. So I think like that mindset I kept going into college and even now, like coming out of college.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

As someone interested in leadership, do you have specific goals within that that you're hoping to achieve?

SPEAKER_01 38:44

Yeah, for sure. Like I think for Cooper specifically, I think there was a lot of things at Cooper that I felt like needed to be addressed. I think there was a lot of tiny aspects like student safety, um, curriculum changes, even just like the way we hire professors and ad chairs. Like there was a process it put in place, but it was something that I just wanted to advocate for the students, especially when you go to a small school. I feel like you all experience very similar things. For instance, I think one of them was like the way our math department was run. We had such different ways, like each professor had such extremely different ways on how they were testing their students. Where, like, all of a sudden, this professor was giving out D's and F's to everyone, and then this professor is giving like A's and B's to everyone. And then and then it's like, oh, well, that's not really fair. Like, maybe we should have something a little more standardized for such a core class I'm gonna take. Um, and I think for me it was just like the biggest thing was like advocating for people and like speaking up for people who may have been very timid to say something. I think, especially in university and college, you're really scared to speak up, especially your first year, because then you know you're scared, like, oh, do people think I'm just complaining? Like, do people think I'm just whining? And you know, whatever. You like you don't want that reputation, obviously, in your first year. But I think it's so important to like have someone to maybe advocate for you and help like speak up on those issues. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:19

You know, um when I was in college, I mean that was decades ago, and and I was also a member of a uh a number of these uh student organizations that you mentioned, especially Society of Women Engineers, and uh I would have thought, okay, it's you know, a couple of decades later, maybe we're at a point where there's more equality and there's no longer a need for a specific uh uh organization for um for women engineers, but clearly that's not the case. Um I'm curious, what was the um the uh male to female ratio in the student body?

SPEAKER_01 40:59

My year, we had like, I think we finally got to a 50-50 ratio. Really? Wow, wow yeah. I was like one of the I was the first year ever to have a 50-50 ratio, which was really nice. Um, I would say my Kemi year specifically, we had way more females than we did males. And I and I think they maybe like messed up that ratio because it was, I think it's 50-50 across all three schools and not 50-50 amongst the engineering school. But that I felt like though that culture though was still there. The culture of like, you know, woman being a male-dominated field was definitely there. I felt like I always had to prove something. I always felt like I had to show that I was supposed to be there or like I deserved and I was worthy of like all these positions and like being in the same room with these people to some extent. You know, when I would win an award, I was lucky to have that award rather than I won that award because I had the skills and I deserved that award to some extent. But I would say like SWE, being part of SWE was really nice because we don't have sororities. We don't we have one fraternity, but we don't really have sororities. So Sui was like that kind of outlet for women to come together and like actually form a community, and I'm really grateful for that. I felt like that was really important. Um, especially my first year, I experienced like some really like not amazing things, like sexual harassment and everything. Like I yeah, my first year, it was like my second week of university, and that really was a pivoting point. I think that's also what pushes me towards to speaking up for people. Um, I was silent during that incident, I didn't tell any authority. Obviously, I told my friends and whatever, but I was scared to report it because I didn't want to be known as that person who got sexually harassed my second week of school and then hold that reputation with me. But I really felt like I was really fortunate to have like a community and like people I trusted to be with me during that time. And then looking back on it now, I felt I I really wish I did speak up. Like I wish I wasn't so scared in what people thought about me and like what that situation was because I feel like even now, like if someone spoke up like because of that, it could have prevented other things that maybe would have happened in the future.

SPEAKER_00 43:38

Right. Yeah, what kind of resources do you wish had been available to you, or what what do you wish Cooper had been able to help with during that time?

SPEAKER_01 43:49

The thing is with Cooper, they're always like, Oh, you can go to our student wellness center, go to like stu like uh the dean of students, you can always talk to them. But I feel like it's very intimidating. Um, you know, like filing a Title IX and like those words in itself was very intimidating to hear, especially as someone who's still young and just exploring college. Um and I think it, you know, I I said this before, but I I think I really do wish I said something because, you know, Sally, like some of my other friends had to experience similar situations to me and they just didn't know what to do. And I would, I would always say, like, tell someone. Like tell someone. It could be anyone. You can tell your professor, you can tell like any adult present in the university you can trust because I believe at least in my university, you're mandated to report the incident if a student does talk about it to them. And with that, like I I didn't realize this, but even if they like they do report it, I still have a say in what is actually done with this incident. Like if I want to continue moving forward, if I want to press charges, like I had the autonomy still to do that. And I didn't realize um I would say another thing is this might be like crazy, but if something really serious has happened, like don't be afraid to like even tell the police. Yeah, I feel like you know we're when we hear the word police we're like oh my gosh like I don't want this person to go to jail. I don't want anything I don't want to get legal people involved. But really like any single person could tell to protect you I think it was really necessary. And I think that's something I learned like unfortunately I had like another incident like my senior year and I think I learned from that first incident like don't be afraid to go to the police especially for something like this or something so serious. So I think I think the biggest thing is just not don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:54

So when if happened in that second week was it um by someone that you knew or you just met?

SPEAKER_01 46:02

Yeah well I met them my also obviously during welcome week but they were my neighbor they were living right next to me in the dorm. So they knew what room I was in they knew my roommate they knew my friends and it was such like a intense situation like because I I didn't want to tell anyone because if I told people I was scared like everything was going to get out because it's such a small school so everyone would find out and then that's me. That's like what I'm known as um and then like you know I think it was really unfortunate because um you know this person started telling my friends like false things like they would say I was asking for it. They would say like oh I was you know tempting him I was doing whatever and that certainly was not the case but you know I was I was really scared to speak up um I think it was nice that I did have friends to advocate for me but um especially in a situation like that like I feel like when you go into university you're always warned like oh watch out for this watch out for that but no one ever tells you like what to actually do when it happens right I think that's like the really that's something like really shocking and really scary when you enter college and something like that does happen.

SPEAKER_02 47:19

Yeah yeah that seems like you know it should be part of like um part of the the talks that you get in your in your welcome week.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

For sure and I feel like universities try to do that but you know it's it's always different hearing it from like like a friend like a friend versus like an older authority because you're like okay like what do they know but I think it's it really says something when like you hear it from one of your peers. And you know when I started talking about it more of my friends at least like it it's so shocking how so many of them went through such a similar situation and never spoke up about it because you know we're all so scared to do so. Right. And I think like you know it all has to go back to like oh what's people what are people going to think about me? What's my reputation gonna be so I think like honestly like advocating for yourself standing up for yourself is such a strong lesson I had to learn at such a early point in my college career.

SPEAKER_02 48:26

Right.

SPEAKER_01 48:27

Yeah so when it happened again in your senior year were you able to to handle that differently for sure so like in my senior year it was even a much more serious situation where like someone was like videotaping me in a bathroom like in the stall and that that became like a much more extreme situation like um that was considered a felony in New York City of awful surveillance. So I was like you know I called my parents I told like one of my closest friends I told my boyfriend they're like I really think you should speak to the police about this like this is something very serious. And I was grateful that I was able to get support from my school. So I was in touch with the Dina students and they actually came with me to help file the report at the police station which was really nice but it was I I handled it so much more like much differently. I definitely was speaking out about it um obviously to like the proper authorities and everything. And I I I think that was important because something like that like I don't want that happening to anyone else in my school. Right. Like it does happen on school property as well. So it was like I you don't know how many other people had that happen to them. Yeah exactly for that situation I felt like I needed to say something and just also to protect myself as well. And I think that was like you know something I had to learn from the first experience I had. So I think now if it ever happened to one of my friends, like God forbid it ever happened, but if it did, I would kind of know what to do a little more and just like be there to support someone because it is a really scary moment. I think I was really scared to even say something because I knew who that person was. So I think it's like I don't want anything bad to happen to them. But at the same time you need to say something just to protect yourself.

SPEAKER_02 50:36

Yeah I'm glad you stood up for yourself you know this time I mean I can't imagine the first uh first time it happened it must have been such a tough experience you know and uh um pretty traumatic I would say especially then you have to um live next door to the person who who did this to you.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

Yeah for sure it was definitely like it was a shocker and I think that's why I kind of mentioned this before but like I became much more reserved in who I decided to speak to and who I decided to kind of hang out. And that really continued on through my four years. But because of that I feel like I made such close friendships with like the people I did meet and the people I still keep so dearly to me. They were such like huge supporters and like not just my accomplishments but also just like helping me through these like really tough times. So like you know I like I know it's like such very deep topics I was like kind of discussing before but I think there is always a bright side to something like this. Like I really did find such a strong community in a group of such a small people that I felt really connected to and really help me. And I I'm really grateful for having that I feel like um especially when you go to college you're told like oh the people that you meet are gonna be like your friends for life yeah I feel like I I can say that if I'm like lucky I can say that.

SPEAKER_02 52:07

Yeah amazing so how did that core group of friends show up for you how do they support you?

SPEAKER_01 52:15

They oh my gosh they would always check in on me they would take me out to dinner they would always ask me how I'm doing they would call me um to the point like even one of my friends like they would be with me when I'm talking to authorities. They were with me when I'm talking to police like they're even friends with my parents so they would like text my parents and they're like make sure Kayla's okay like if you need anything I'll send it so they were really supportive and very comforting they they like really listened. I feel like for something like that it's always nice to just have someone to listen and they were really there for me. I think those moments is what like really bonded us because you know some like some of the people who were with me during those situations had something very similar happen to them at some point in their life and I think we found like comfort in knowing that like oh we're not alone in like these traumatic events in our life. You mentioned that you had a boyfriend that first year too how was he supporting you through this moment as well yeah I I met him like my second third week of college and we dated like a month in we're still dating now so he was with me all my four years um my ups and downs and all these events happening and he was so supportive he was like with me the entire time he was like calling me constantly um making sure I was okay and was feeling comfortable and like I could just imagine what he's thinking like you know these people we talk to them we we're friends we're kind of like friends with them. These are people we go to parties with it's so weird. It is really weird. So when he found out he was so like disgusted and so like shocked about like this like a person was even capable of doing this. I think a lot of times it's like oh we think like you know someone who would do something like this is like really creepy and like you would catch it right away but in most times it's someone you know and someone maybe you're comfortable with which is really scary. And I think it was really nice to have this kind of comfort in such a difficult situation.

SPEAKER_02 54:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:31

When you when you guys first met did you feel connection right away we were first friends actually um and I think we just we clicked maybe not like romantically but we just clicked platonically really well. We both grew up in Jersey um he's like a semi-pro Batman player so we both understood that like athlete like academic lifestyle which was really nice. And then I think like you know one thing led to another and we started dating but um we were really good friends at first.

SPEAKER_00 55:06

Yeah that's always such a beautiful way to start a relationship. I feel like it is kind of rare at a young age to date someone for four years.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

How do you feel like you were able to sustain that relationship and keep that strong relationship for so long I think the only way to have like this kind of a relationship with someone is like make also making sure you're equally as busy especially in college um I think it really worked out because like he was always traveling because he was like playing Batman in everywhere and but he was also like really studious like he was more studious than me. Like he he got like valedictorian and everything. He's a very academic human being so it was like I think it helped because it felt like we understood each other and that was like the biggest thing like we had the same mentality going into Cooper and we had the same values um and same like wants for the future and even now like um we're graduating but I'm I'm gonna go to grad school at Cornell and he's going to grad school at Harvard. So it's like we're kind of like on such a similar path but we understand what's necessary to get to our goals. And I think that's the biggest thing like A one we respect each other's boundaries and B like we respect each other's ambitions and goals. I think we're both very different people.

SPEAKER_02 56:26

What has that relationship taught you about love and and yourself?

SPEAKER_01 56:32

I think it taught me how to be independent with myself and my desires and what I want in life I think one of the biggest things is like especially when you're young for me still being able to put yourself first what you what's good for you first and your needs. I think that taught me a lot and I think one thing is like I I'm so grateful but my like my boyfriend really respects boundaries and um what's good for each other. I think one of the biggest things is like we really care for one another and I think we know when we need to like step in and step out and I I think like for me like he's more than just like my boyfriend. I see him as like my best friend like he was one of my he is if not like my best friend throughout Cooper. And he was really with me through all those like ups and downs. So I think it really I think it taught me a lot about love and that like romantic relationships still have like this really deep friendship in it as well. Yeah it's not just about like lovey dovey it's about like actually knowing the person you're with and like knowing like their values as well. Yeah how would you describe your values I really value like a like having very strong morals. I believe in confidence of knowing who you are essentially and keeping yourself grounded like really stick to your beliefs and really stick to like what you think is right in your mind. I think another thing is like knowing what your goals are in life and what your priorities are.

SPEAKER_00 58:23

Thinking back to your first year of college were your values the same or do you feel like they've changed over the four years you've been there I think they have changed a little for sure.

SPEAKER_01 58:35

I think entering university I cared a lot about what people think of me and I think I really cared about like oh I need all these like big name things to like show that I'm worth it to show that like I have like this certain kind of status um I really held like really believed in that for some reason. But then I think going throughout college it's it it was a realization that everyone can have a different path. You don't need all these things to prove your worth if anything just like to prove it to yourself in some ways. Something I kind of realized just this last semester was to stop caring about what other people thought about me and just and just to do what was best for me and to do what was best for my career. I don't need all these big names I don't need all like these uh gold like glory awards to prove something to myself rather it was just like looking at the accomplishments I had already and realizing hey like I am worth it and I don't need to prove to anyone that I am which was something I had like I had to learn. I'm kind of sad it took a little bit to learn because I it kind of also goes back to this whole thing kind of I mentioned before like even in high school where I grew up in a culture where where you went to university was equated to your success and your worth and I think now like coming out of university I left that mindset behind. So I'm like very happy that it worked out that way.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:14

That's great.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:16

Yeah it's so freeing and also empowering at the same time yes it feels like such a breath of fresh air and I think even now like everyone has very different paths in how they find their success and their career and I you do not need to be on the same path as everyone else.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:37

Yeah and you're about to you know prepare to go to grad school so in a way you're sort of starting your first year again.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:44

For sure and I'm really excited about grad school because it's like now I can like almost like really really do what I want to do you know now I can pick a very like specific niche and really choose like the kind of research I want to do and I'm happy I have that kind of autonomy to do that. What is some of the research you're excited to do and what excites you about Cornell in general? Yeah one is I'm really interested in tissue regeneration and like wound healing and understanding that understand how the body heals itself and how we can manipulate that. And then another one is I was really interested in 3D printing organs. I like really wanted to do that for like organ donation and everything. And being able to print like human tissue and organoids and everything I feel like that in itself is so cool. I didn't really have that kind of resource at Cooper because we're such a small school and we're not really a research institution. So being able to have access to that and doing that is like really cool in itself. Also I think it'll be really fun to tell people like yeah I'm 3D printing a kidney that just sounds so cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:57

That could save so many lives wow looking ahead you know after Cornell what are some of your just dreams and hopes for your future I really hope to go for a PhD.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:10

I really want to teach and like spread knowledge about this to people I feel like teaching is something we need right now in our world and having like good teachers and like people who are passionate about like this knowledge and wanting to share it. So I think that's something that I really aspire to be someone who has this knowledge but like wants to present it and share it with others. That's a beautiful thing to share with the world. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:41

Well wrapping up if you could share some advice to someone starting their first year of college who's feeling unsure or lonely or scared what would you want them to know?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:52

Know that you're not alone and that like almost 100% of the time if you feel a certain way there's going to be someone else feeling that way as well and like know who you are as a person. Like you know college is a time to grow but like still stay true to your roots and like know who you are. Don't be afraid to be yourself like that sounds so cliche um and you hear that all the time but I think it's really important like having your own identity and knowing your identity being comfortable with yourself you know don't be afraid to speak up don't be afraid to advocate for yourself and others and you know just stay true to yourself. I like college is such a new and exciting but also like a scary moment in your life and everything's changing. And I think it's nice to find comfort in knowing what you know and knowing yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:49

Well Kayla thank you so much for joining it was wonderful to speak with you. Yeah thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:55

Yeah I loved it and I'm I'm wondering if you feel like you're well on your way to become the president of the United States I I think um I'm staying out of realm of politics for now I for now but who knows who knows maybe in 20 years.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:14

Right life's a long yes for sure thanks for joining us my first year in college is an original Sophia Media production created by Sophia. This episode was produced by senior producer Roosevelt Hine with creative direction by Sharine Anderson and co-hosted by Sophia and Roosevelt thanks for listening. Check out our website at SophiaMedia.co slash my first year for more episodes and other shows in the My First Year series and for social links where you can join our online community.