My First Year with My Dog
My First Year with My Dog is an interview-style podcast that explores the profound transformation that happens when you bring a dog into your life, whether it’s your first dog or your tenth one. Through intimate conversations with dog-parents, we discover how that first year with a dog reshapes not just your daily routine, but who you are.
Through deeply personal stories, we explore how dogs challenge us to be more present, more patient, and more vulnerable. We hear about the quiet moments of connection, the breakthroughs after struggle, and the ways our relationships with our dogs ripple out into every other relationship we have. These conversations reveal how a dog's unconditional love nourishes us in ways we didn't know we needed—offering comfort, purpose, and a kind of belonging that transforms how we see ourselves and move through the world.
Ultimately, My First Year as a Dog Owner is about how the animals we welcome into our lives don't just change our routines—they change our hearts. It's a celebration of the blessing that comes with loving, and being loved by, a dog.
Executive Producer: Sophia
Hosts: Sophia, Samira Tazari, Shareen Anderson
Senior Producer: Samira Tazari
Creative Director: Shareen Anderson
Theme Music: Nana Simopoulos
My First Year with My Dog
Beth McGuire with Gremlyn
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From a Childhood Dog Bite to Positive Reinforcement: Beth McGuire’s First Year with Gremlyn.
In this episode of My First Year with My Dog, hosts Sophia and Samira interview South Kingstown, Rhode Island vet tech, canine physical therapist, and dog trainer Beth McGuire in person at the Sophia Media studio. Beth shares how being bitten in the face by a chained dog at age four—and her mother’s deliberate exposure to friendly dogs afterward—set her on a lifelong path to “fix mean dogs.” She reflects on adopting her first puppy, Gremlyn, in college, the challenges and joys of raising an energetic dog, and how she shifted from dominance-based methods to clicker training and positive reinforcement. Beth discusses canine body language, leash reactivity, scent work, and realistic expectations for dog owners. She also recounts Gremlin’s sudden death after seizures and the memorial tattoo Beth got to keep her close.
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Welcome to my first year with my dog. A podcast about the transformation that happens when you bring a dog into your life. I'm Sophia.
SPEAKER_03And I'm Samira.
SPEAKER_00Each episode, we speak with a dog parent who shares their own experience, adjusting to life with their new best friend.
SPEAKER_03For this episode, we spoke with Beth McGuire. Beth grew up in South Kingstown, Rhode Island, where she works as a vet tech and a dog physical therapist. She also runs a dog play group and teaches an obedience class at the local community center.
SPEAKER_00I also live in South Kingstown, so I'm in the same town as Beth. And my dog, Otis, has actually been a part of her dog play group, and he really loves it. And since we're in the same town, we actually got to interview Beth in person at the Sophia Media Recording Studio in downtown Wakefield. So it was so exciting. And it was super cool to be together in person because, as you will hear later on in this episode, we got to see the special dog tattoo Beth has on her arm. Over the course of our conversation with her, we get into the very unusual experience that actually put her on this lifelong path of training dogs and caring for dogs. We also reflect on the first year she had with her first puppet, Gremlyn.
SPEAKER_03Welcome to my first year with my dog. We're really happy to have you here. Thank you. Yeah, I'm really excited to have the chance to be here.
SPEAKER_00Hi, Beth. So good to see you. You too.
SPEAKER_03You too. Well, first off, it seems like everything that you do is built around dogs. Could you tell us a little bit about the formative experience as a child that helped you on this path?
SPEAKER_02Sure. When I was four, I had a babysitter in August. The month of August, my regular babysitter would take off. And so her mother actually took a few of us kids on. So there were like four or five of us in her home. And there was a dog that was tied up outside 24-7. She had a doghouse and a six-foot chain. And that was her life. The dog wasn't the woman that babysat us, it was her grandson's, but he kind of won the dog in a card game and just brought it to grandma's house and left it. And her name was Gretchen. And so I always felt bad that she lived on a chain. I didn't have a dog myself, but I loved dogs. And I asked my mom if we could get Gretchen some treats when we were at the supermarket. So we actually got people crackers. So it's the dog version of Animal Crackers, where it was in the shape of the vet, the dog officer, and the mailman all stamped out. And so I was allowed to take them out there by myself unsupervised. So I laid the treats down on the ground, and I can remember laying my head down on the ground to watch the muscles in her jaw as she chewed. And she chewed and things were good. And then all of a sudden, she realized my face was right there. And she turned and grabbed my face and shook. And so I don't remember too much after that. I don't remember like the specific pain of it all, but I do remember the paper towel being put on my face and the red climbing up it. So I knew it was a pretty bad bite. So this lady called my mom. My mom took me to the emergency room. And then they basically stitched my face back on because it was a really bad bite. Because it was not just a bite, but a bite and a shake. So a lot of damage done.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_02And so as we were leaving the hospital, my mom said to me, There's way too many dogs in this world for you to be afraid of them. We're going to stop at Joan's house and we are going to feed Thunder, who was a 17-year-old golden retriever that was an ottoman that ate. I mean, he is the sweetest dog. And so every night for about two weeks, we would go to different friends' houses of hers that had really amazing dogs. And I would either feed them, walk them, play with them. And so that definitely helped with the fear. She said, I just don't ever want you to be the type of person that you see a loose dog and you panic.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and so after all of that, a few weeks later, I heard that the dog that had bitten me had to be euthanized. And it broke my heart. And I said to my mom, I'm gonna fix mean dogs, mommy. That's what I want to do. And I just never veered from that. And so I feel terrible for my friends that had, you know, seven or eight majors and never got their bachelor's because they just couldn't decide what to do with their lives. I just knew instantly that that's what I wanted. So I'm really grateful that my mom had that insight, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I think too that it just helped me so much that I don't know that I would be living this life had the bite not happened. Which is pretty wild to think about.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And that's such a positive way of looking at otherwise a terrifying experience.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Why do you think it was so clear for you?
SPEAKER_02I think it was so clear for me because being around the dogs afterwards and even prior to the incident, having empathy for this dog that was stuck on a chain. I knew that wasn't normal. You know, when I had gone to my mom's friends' houses, I mean, the dogs were on the couch, one had its own bedroom. I mean, absolute opposite. And I would think about the dog, like when it would rain, I would say to my mom, I wonder if she's outside. And she was, I'm sure she was. Um, and it was just a really sad life for her. So I had that empathy for her in the first place, even after all this stuff happened. And then just being reminded about how incredible dogs are, because the dogs that I worked with, worked with at four, were all just so wonderful and so comforting. And it really made me realize the magic of dogs.
SPEAKER_00I I never realized that's how you got started with your lifelong relationship with dogs. I'd love to hear a little bit more about your mom because she sounds like a remarkable woman.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, she definitely was. She grew up in Oklahoma and Texas in the deep south during the 50s and 60s. And so even though she had family members that were literally in the Klu Klux Klan, she really just from the get-go, instinctively, that that wasn't right. And she was telling me when she was a kid she would purposefully, you know, go sit at the counter that was labeled only for Negroes, that kind of thing. And when she was old enough, she went on her freedom ride into Alabama, not Selma, but she took a freedom ride. And, you know, she just always was like, watch out for the underdog, because that could be you very easily.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I I love the way she thought about, you know, how to really help you deal with the experience, the trauma that you had, and was to kind of face whatever fear that you might have had and stare it down basically and overcome it. That's why I was just like, wow, she just sounds like such a wise person.
SPEAKER_02She really was. And that's the thing is I just, it's so crazy to say that the best thing that ever happened to me was getting mauled in the face by a dog as a kid. But, you know, throughout my life, I've met other people that had facial scars or scars on their bodies. And when you ask them, hey, what happened? And then they tell you I was bit by a dog, and now I hate Rottweilers, or I don't like dogs, or I can't stand animals, you know. And I think to myself, well, if you had my mom, you'd probably be a vet.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it seems like what she did was very important for you. Definitely. And I think most moms would be really terrified in that moment and try to keep you away as much as possible. But she did the exact opposite. How important was that for you?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, I can remember being scared when we went to that first house, even though I had known Thunder since forever, since I could walk, and knowing that he was a really sweet dog. But having seen the potential for aggression with dogs, there definitely was that fear there. And she just kind of was very calm about it and coaxed me through it. And she was the kind of person too, where like, say if the cat, we had a cat, if he scratched me, she'd say, Well, what did you do to the cat? You know, and so she always had that soft spot for animals.
SPEAKER_00Right. So yeah, so beautiful. Yeah, yeah. Is she no longer with us?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, she passed away in 2021. Um okay. Yep, it was unexpected. She passed in her sleep, and when I found her, she had her cat laying on her. So, I mean, if you're gonna go, that's a pretty peaceful way to go, you know. Right. So, but yeah, I definitely miss her, that's for sure. She was great.
SPEAKER_03So do you still have any scars physically or like emotionally from that bite as a child?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, the other thing was that after the attack, she was a psycho about putting vitamin E oil on my face twice a day, every day. And I'd be like, not now, you know, I'm playing, and she would put it on there. So I really don't have a lot of scars. I have one here, I think, and then there's one on my eyebrow, and then one up under my hair. But, you know, for me, I've worked with people now since everything happened who are terrified of dogs, who either were raised by people that taught them to be scared of dogs with nothing happening, or who had a bad incident or saw a bad incident. And so one family that I worked with, it was the grandmother, and her grandchildren and kids were coming to stay for the summer, and she had two standard poodles who were total goofballs, but the kids were terrified. Like the parents weren't sure that they could come for vacation because the kids were so scared. And so what I ended up doing was working with the kids and teaching them what dog body language meant. And what ended up happening was after just three sessions with them, about a half hour long, they were no longer scared of Rory. Because I can really empathize with that, it's extreme, you know. They dogs communicate with their teeth. I constantly remember that when I'm at work. Even when you think they're anesthetized, sometimes they're not quite, and you really have to be mindful of that. So, did you grow up with dogs? I wanted a dog so bad. To the point that I used to go through my mom's Women's Day magazines, cut out the pictures of dogs, and tape them on the milk inside her windshields, on the closet, on the bathroom mirror. Very subtle. She just was like, I need a dog. I want a dog. And we got we had a brother and sister cat who were wonderful, but they're not dogs. And so when I was 14, her friend had a rare type of leukemia, and she knew that it was fatal, and she sold everything and bought an RV. And she had a dog named Bernie, who she planned to take with her across the country, but Bernie hated it. And so finally my mom said, Oh, we're gonna get a dog, you know, we're gonna take Joan's dog. And I was thinking, This is amazing, yay! And I said, What kind is it? And she said, Oh, it looks like a giant Jack Russell terrier. And I said, Oh, and then Bernie came to our house and I realized Bernie was a pit bull. And I locked myself in my bedroom and I said, They eat babies, you know. I was so scared of him. I think mainly because of the media, I hadn't had any direct contact with any pit bulls that I knew of, but just watching the news and everything. And uh Bernie was pretty amazing. He sat vigiled by my door, and finally I let him in, and he was just incredible. So he was our family dog, but with him, I made a bunch of mistakes. Like if I knew then what I know now, I cringe sometimes when I think about like doing dominance roles and monks of new skeet, where they're really just basically pushing dog's buttons to see how far you can get what the dog will tolerate, which is completely the wrong thing now. And where did you get the idea to do these things? From PBS, actually. There was a show with Uncle Maddie Margolis, he was this dog trainer, and he talked about using prong collars and only letting you know the dog go behind you and reminding them that you are the alpha and they're not taking over.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I still hear about that stuff.
SPEAKER_02Like, yeah, it's really that you know, the key word being like obey. Almost like if you have a dog, the reason for it is because you want to be an overlord of something, you know. And so I started off with him, and then when I was a freshman in college, I got a job at a vet, and I was at URI, and I was volunteering at the pound, and a litter of puppies came in. There were six of them, and there was one with a patch over her eye. She was adorable, and she would always come seek me out, and I would look for her. And the woman that was running the shelter, it was in the fall, and so she would pick the puppy up and stick it in my hoodie's, you know, pocket and say, Oh, she needs to go home with you. I think she needs to go home. So I campaigned to my mom. I was like, you know, Bernie's getting older, and I really want to feel safe when I go running. I mean, I laid it on thick, you know. I'm a woman in a very scary world and I need this dog. And so finally she caved in. So I was going to take the puppy home, and it was Halloween. That's when she was allowed to leave the shelter. And originally I was going to name her Rosie, but she was in the backseat in her little crate making all these crazy noises. And I said, Oh my gosh, you sound like a gremlin back there. And I thought, I could call you Gremlin, but spell it with a Y instead of an I to make it feminine. Oh. And that's how Gremlin came to be. And so with her, I wanted her to be an advocate, your ambassador for the breed. And so I enrolled in the local community centers beginners obedience. And the really cool part was they had just switched from their old method of choke chains and dominance roles and all that jazz to something called clicker training, which was an entirely positive reinforcement thing. So Gremlin and I were in kind of the freshman class for them. And we were able to accomplish in five weeks what they couldn't in eight weeks because they took the element of fear out of learning. And it turned more from wanting your dog to obey you to forming a relationship with them, being a benevolent leader so that way they wanted to offer the good behaviors. And that got me started. I was such a nerd about it that at the end of the six weeks, they said, Hey, we can't pay you, but do you want to be our understudy? And I said, Do I? And I kind of took off from there. And the really neat thing is right before COVID, they actually sold me the business for one dollar. So I am now the only.
SPEAKER_00Oh, congrats. Thank you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. And so it's been fun. You know, I love learning about dogs. It's just, and Gremlin really is the one to thank for that.
SPEAKER_00Do you remember? You said you were driving home with her and she was in the backseat. Do you remember any more about that day when you first brought her home?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, with Bernie, we had just always just let him be loose in the car. But with Gremlin being as little as she was 10 weeks at that point, I just wanted everything to be so safe. I was like the new mom, you know, I'm gonna have her ride in a crate and she's never gonna be allowed on the furniture because if she jumps down, she could injure herself and all this stuff. And eventually that went out the window. Um but yeah, you know, that that night bringing her in and praying that Bernie didn't want to eat her, and he instantly was like her dad. It was the cutest. He sniffed her and was like, Okay, you live here now, you know. Wow. Which was really surprising because you know, he could be a grumpy kind of guy and didn't love all other dogs. But if it's like with the puppy, he just gave her a hall pass. She was able to do whatever she wanted, teeth on his ears, get under his feet, eat his food, and he'd just be like, uh, it's gremlin, it's fine, you know.
SPEAKER_03I know you were in the pound and you saw a bunch of puppies, but like, was it something in your life where you were looking for a dog at that point?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't think I ever lost that little girl that cut out the dog pictures in magazines. I just I felt the connection with them. And with Grem, I felt like it was my opportunity to be responsible. I always knew since I was a little kid that I didn't want to have human children. I just knew that. I love kids, they're great, but it's just not for me. And so getting Gremlin was like the next closest thing. And I really just enjoyed watching her learn and grow and explore. But there definitely were times. I was studying for a physics exam and she was on the bed with me, and she walked right over to the textbook and squatted and peed on it because I had missed her cues she gave me, you know, and I just started crying. And another time she ate a bag of York peppermint patties. And so she had a green and red foil poop for a week, you know. And I thought, oh my gosh, she's gonna die, you know. So there were a lot of learning moments with her. Yeah. She was mischievous and teething and all of that, but she was a great, great dog.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting how you you said that you just never really had any desire for having human children. So I'm curious because when you got Gremlin, you were still just in college, right? So, like, not even maybe 20?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think I was like 19. Yep.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. So how did that change you? Like, did you feel more maternal?
SPEAKER_02I definitely did. And I recognized some of the sacrifices I had to make. You know, I couldn't just go to the party with my friends. It was, oh, you know, who's gonna let the dog out? Did she eat yet? Did she do this? Did she do that? Oh, I have to pay for her vaccines, I have to pay for her flea and tick or her spay or whatever. So it definitely did take some sacrifice, but the great part was that everything that I did for her, it was so worth it because I just got back from her tenfold. You know, she and I were training for a marathon together, and so we were gonna do the mystic marathon. And so Saturdays were our long run days. So I do anywhere from 12 to 15 miles running with her, and she kept right up. She loved she knew like pee poop at be at the beginning because we're going, you know, and she wasn't one of those dogs that wanted to sniff everything. She was ready, and I would get back to the house, and I mean, at certain points, I felt like I just wanted to collapse, and she'd come running back in the room with her leash in her mouth, and I was like, Gram, some dogs get walked around the block, you know, like I can't take you again. So, um, yeah, you know, she was a lot of fun and and just always ready for an adventure.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like a bundle of energy. Totally. Yes. I I want this is sort of backing up a bit, but was there anything that stuck out to you about Gremlin that attracted you when you were first looking at the puppies? Like this is my dog.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So she was the one that was the most curious. You know, if I was cleaning up the corner of, you know, their outside run, she would be coming. Over, like, what are you doing? What's going on? You know, and she wasn't afraid of anything. Some of the other puppies definitely were more fearful. And I don't think it's that anything happened to them. I think it's just legitimately what their personalities were. And I just I liked that she hadn't come from some horrific situation. Um, I have owned dogs that have been former fighting dogs and they're amazing, but it's not a beginner dog by any means. You know, I had to go through a lot of education and schooling to understand and keep myself safe, keep them safe, and it was well worth it, you know. Wonderful dogs. But with Graham, it was kind of like she was just this little ball of clay, and I couldn't wait to see what she turned into.
SPEAKER_03Bernie came before. Yes. So, like, what did having Bernie prepare you for? And what were you maybe not so prepared for when it came to uh a puppy life?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, potty training. Holy mackerel. Bernie came potty trained. He was about, I think he was about five when he came. But Bernie had trauma before my mom's friend adopted him. And so when you would take out a broom or like I had a wiffle ball bat that I was had a friend over and pulled it out, we were gonna play wiffle ball, and he lost his mind. Just grabbed the bat, started, you know, shredding it up. And so, you know, my mom was like, he's kind of like a Vietnam vet. He's got PTSD with certain things. We just have to map out what his triggers are and make sure he doesn't have to deal with them. Right. You know, so it was like, okay, put Bernie outside. I have to sweep the kitchen, you know, that kind of thing. Um, and it was nice that with Gremlin, I didn't have anything like that. You know, she was a clean slate. Um, but Bernie, again, he was house-trained, he was really smart too. He could figure out all sorts of problems and things, and so it was really fun watching the two of them together because like Bernie used to know that if he ran away, because he used to run and like to bite truck tires for whatever reason, which is terrifying because I'm like, he's he's gonna get squashed.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02Um, but he would run away and then he would know to come back. And he we had a little dish rag on the handle of the cabinet under the sink, and he would whip it open and get himself a treat as a reward for coming back, you know. Wow. Because my mom's friend said, Well, I don't understand when people yell at dogs when they finally come back. Why would they want to come back? You know. Right. And so I don't know who was the smarter in that case, the human or the dog. And so Gremlin started doing it. She really mimicked him a lot with different things.
SPEAKER_00Interesting.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yep. Mm-hmm. And, you know, the first year with a dog, it's like their most transformative period, right? Like both physically and psychologically, too. I think. Yeah. So, what were your most favorite memories during that first year? And what were some of the surprises watching her grow up?
SPEAKER_02You know, I think it's funny now, but I I do think about when she peed on my textbook or ate the peppermint patties. And at the time I was just, it was like one more thing. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, and I would cry about it. And then she'd just come bounding in the room, like, what? What's going on? Come on, let's go, let's play. Which I loved. And there were times where I was exhausted, but I loved her so much that I would find the time to go outside and throw the ball or take her for a nice long sniffy walk, that kind of thing. And I think it helped me understand. I had so many people in my life that were, oh, you're gonna change your mind, you're gonna want kids, oh, biological clocks ticking. And you know, when I was in kindergarten and we would play family, I'd be like, I'm the dad, I'm going to work, and I'd go sit on the swings. Like it just wasn't for me. And with Graham just being willing to make those sacrifices, be exhausted, still take her, or miss out on, you know, a fun weekend trip with my friends, but it felt worth it. Yeah. I was like, oh, maybe this is what they mean when they say you you love your children so much that you'll do anything for them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So is there any specific way where you would bond with Graham? Like, how did you show each other affection?
SPEAKER_02One of the things I had learned in the obedience class was they said when you're asking them to do something that's difficult for them, that dogs view food like money. And so it was the first time that I had been told it's okay to give a dog like a little teeny tiny chunk of bacon or a hot dog or cheese. Because with Bernie, we were so strict, he had a pretty sensitive belly, and so even the wrong milk bone, he would, you know, be a GI mess and have to stay outside for a while. Um, and so with her using those treats, it just made her motivation 10 times stronger. You know, I would give Gremlin special treats, and she was the first dog I ever made a birthday cake for. I studied how to do oat flour and all this special stuff that was dog friendly.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and so that was really fun. But hiking, going out just the two of us, camping, just the two of us, I just loved doing that. And I had a boyfriend at the time, but it just wasn't the same. I'd be like, it's a girls' weekend. We're gonna go camping. We'll see you later, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and it was great. She was really, really smart little dog. Were you still living at home with your mom's? Yeah, but the funny thing was that my mom had said, if you get this puppy, she is your responsibility, and she stuck to that. Yeah. And there were a couple of times where I got stuck in class, or you know, something, something happened where of course she would let her out to pee, but it wasn't, she wasn't our dog, she was my dog. And I think having that distinction too really meant a lot to me.
SPEAKER_03You described Gremlin as a sort of muse, or you were really determined with Gremlin to become the best dog owner. What do you think you learned along the way? Because it probably didn't come as easy as I had hoped.
SPEAKER_02Yes, that's right. It's not a my first Sony situation where it's easy peasy. You know, when I met Bernie, obviously in the beginning, I was terrified of him because I had listened to the media. I hadn't actually met a pit bull, and I thought, oh my gosh, they eat babies. Well, Bernie obviously didn't eat babies. He was a good boy. And so at first I thought, well, it's all in how they're raised, you know? And then with Gremlin, I did everything right, you know, on the checklist. And I think it helped too that I was going into classes, you know, in school where it was really, really in-depth about behavior and brain function and and all of this stuff, genetics. And so I think that helped me add like that deeper layer. It was like, she's not just a puppy, she's like my PhD puppy, you know, I'm gonna learn everything. And there were a few things that she did that just didn't make sense to me. And I'm really grateful for that because it helped me kind of take a middle-of-the-road stance. There are some people out there that say pit bulls are amazing dogs, and the only reason that they're mean is because they've been exposed to trauma, but that's not always the case. There is the genetic component of it where, you know, some of them have been bred intentionally for aggression towards other dogs or towards anything, you know, the guard dogs. Um, and then there's environment. And it's funny that years after I was at a behavior conference and they were saying, you know, it's the triangle, it's the dog, it's the environment, it's the genetics, and thinking about that just really it's like, ah, I realized that a long time ago, but I didn't have those eloquent words for it, you know.
SPEAKER_00Where were some of the things that she did that didn't make sense to you?
SPEAKER_02Like she would want to just all of a sudden get really, really violent with her toys, you know. Bernie was a pretty calm guy when it came to his toys. Like he had a stuffed bear that he had from the time we got him until the the day he passed. And he would be very gentle with it and carry it around and put it in his bed at night when he needed to sleep. And Gremlin was just like, let me shred this up and shake it, and just, you know, at the same time, I read in like a reader's digest that the reason dogs like squeaky toys is because it simulates an animal screaming as they kill it, right? Yeah, yeah. And so I was like, oh my gosh, here's Gremlin over here ripping this little pig apart. And I'm thinking, oh, what is she gonna? She never caught rabbits or anything like that. She never did anything aggressive towards another animal, but it really did show me the genetic component there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the killer instinct could kick his.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00The prey drive, exactly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But that never ended up in any situation where she was aggressive towards you.
SPEAKER_02It was just towards the toy. Yeah. Nope. And I I think that because our bond was so strong, it was kind of incredible to have a dog where I knew I could do literally anything and she would let me. She may not like it, she may show her teeth, but she would never actually bite me, ever. She didn't like getting her nails trimmed, she didn't like getting a bath, you know, that kind of thing. She didn't like being picked up. But if I did it, all I had to do was just be like, hey, and I knew that she trusted me. I was her safe spot no matter what.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So yeah.
SPEAKER_03Since you were learning about dogs while you were learning about Gremlin and her behaviors or her personality, did that make you more anxious or like more confident because you had all this knowledge? Anxious.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Because one of the first things I learned is that when dogs are nervous, they lick their lips to calm themselves. That's like us taking a deep yoga breath when we're stressed out. And I almost got fixated on it where I was like, she's licking her lips. Oh no. Look, she's stressed out, this poor dog. And then it's like, oh, wait a minute. No, she found her Kong full of peanut butter. And she's just, you know, she's just savoring it. Yeah, exactly. You know? And so I definitely did have, you know, guilt and things. And I thought, you know, it's not fair that she has to spend so much time of the day without me when dogs are bred for thousands of years to worship the ground we walk on. But she never had any separation anxiety. She would just take a nap or she'd hang out with Bernie. Like she really was not a stressed out kind of dog. Um and so eventually I realized okay, you're overthinking this, you know. Yeah. It's it's okay if she's home without you. She probably likes the time to be away from you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Was that like a long journey to get there, being okay with that?
SPEAKER_02Or I wouldn't say super long. I mean, definitely within the first year, I settled down for sure. And I think with my mom, she just sort of had a way with animals and she'd be like, just relax. She's fine, you know. Or if she had an accident in the house and I would just browbeat myself, like, I can't believe I left her alone for four hours, you know. And it's really, no, she ate something she shouldn't have and she had diarrhea. It doesn't matter if you were there right away, you know. This stuff, as they say, it happens. It really helped me lighten up a little bit and not be sitting there looking at her like a clinician, like I started off as. Poor Gremlin.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. What are the ways that having her changed you or how informative was that for you?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I think with Gremlin, number one, it taught me the magic of positive reinforcement because she would do all sorts of stuff that Bernie never would. Because with Bernie, there were times where if he didn't listen to what I asked him to do according to PBS, and I thought was PBS, so it has to be right. I would do things that hurt him, and he would wear the prong collar. And it makes me really sad to think that we were walking around the neighborhood and I'm in a rush. And so I'm not letting him sniff when dogs see the world through their nose. And so with Gremlin, it taught me to be kinder to animals. I think also too watching her process things like novel experiences or new people really made me see, wow, this is definitely a sentient being. Not that I didn't think dogs were, but I really started to see how emotional it was.
SPEAKER_00Did you discover something about your own personality through your experience, your years with Gremlin? Yeah, I did actually.
SPEAKER_02I never thought that I would be standing up in front of classes or giving, you know, lectures about animal behavior, anything like that. But I think having that hands-on experience with Gremlin, watching her navigate the world, react to the training that I did, provide her with an enriching environment, all of that stuff, paying attention to those little details.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Making sure she never had a life like Gretchen did, where the most important part of your day was the three minutes that you were given your food. And I just I didn't want that for her. And I think part of my motivation was just that I had access, you know, I got to call the shots with it and decide what she was exposed to, what she wasn't. So I learned a lot from her. And it was really exciting because with her, I was able to see how deep a bond can be with a dog. Unconditional love at a really tricky time in life where I'm transferring from a high schooler to a college kid, from a kid to a woman, sort of, you know. And having that responsibility just really, really helped me become more confident. You know?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um if I had had a different dog, I'm not sure that I would have turned out the same.
SPEAKER_03So can you talk a little bit more about that time in life for you? What is it that maybe you were searching for emotionally? Since it sounds like it was a transitional time for you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So my mom was busy with a lot of different clubs and activities and protests, all sorts of stuff. She was super busy. So I didn't see her a ton. And I think she just thought, well, you know, you're 19, you probably don't want to hang out with your mom. When I did, and it was hard for me to articulate that. And so with Gremlin, all of a sudden, no matter what, I had family around. Bernie had his issues, and so there were times he just wanted to be left alone. You know, like if he had enough of you, he would crawl under the bed and be like, This is my safe space. Get out of here. I'm done. And with Grem, she was just so loving, so happy, so curious. It was really fun. And I think also, too, having to live at home and commute to campus. I felt like I missed out on the campus life. I had friends and classes and things, but it wasn't the same where they were building these lifelong bonds, you know, and here I am like trying and praying to find a parking spot, you know, and run to glass just in time. Right. Um, so I think she really fulfilled that for me.
SPEAKER_03That's special.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So one of the things that I'm always thinking about is how to understand my dog Otis better. And I'm always like, oh, I wish I I could just speak their language or they could speak our language. Yeah. You know? So I'm curious with like all your vast experience over all these years with dogs and different all kinds of dogs. Um what are the some of the ways that you're that helps you to like understand them better or communicate with them better?
SPEAKER_02I love this question. Whenever you hear on the news, like, oh, the dog attacked the baby from nowhere, you know, where people are fully convinced that the dog was just laying there and all of a sudden was like, I'm just gonna bite this kid. In reality, if you had a camera in the corner of the room, dogs give between 30 to 50 cues before they do something. The really cool thing about dogs is they're non-confrontational creatures. They hate it. They don't like to be in fights, they don't like to have arguments about things. And also, too, one of my most favorite definitions of aggression is aggression is the act of asking for space from the stressor. Now, that might be by using teeth, and that'll get the stressor away from you for sure. There's so much that we now know, thanks to all sorts of different canine body language studies, a lot of the guiding eyes for the blind, therapy dogs, police dogs. We've been able to do really in-depth research and can truly understand what the dogs are trying to tell us. So a couple of things. One that's really simple is my mailman said to me, I don't understand. I went up to the dog down the street and her tail was wagging, and I pet her and she bit me. And the interesting thing is we have this misconception that tail wagging means a happy dog. When actually it's just a dog taking in its environment. The key with tail wags is you want to look at the base of the tail where it connects to the body. I think everybody knows if it's tucked, that means that they're scared or uncertain about a situation. If it's straight back and it's swoopy and kind of just, yay, or in a helicopter tail where it's just a circle because they're so happy. We know that's good. But if you have the base of the tail upright, you want to consider that to be a red flag. That means you better back off. So if the base of their tail is upright, their tail is stiff, it's making small movements, not huge, swoopy ones, that means you need to stop what you're doing. And the whole licking their lips when they're nervous to calm themselves down, we call that a calming signal. And dogs will do that to each other when they sense that there's a misunderstanding or there's a little bit of something coming up. Like, for example, if there's a dog and he's laying by his bone and this is his beloved possession, and another dog walks near and the dog with the bone growls, guarantee you that if the other dog is well socialized, they'll lick their lips and they also will turn, as they say, turn the other cheek. Dogs actually do that, where we'll turn and remove their eye contact to let the other dog know I'm no threat. I don't want your bone, we're cool. Um, so there's so many things like that that you can see. And the beautiful part is, you know, when I first started with dog training with Gremlin or even Bernie, how cool is this? I can get the dog to do what I want it to, right? I can get the dog to obey. Obey is no longer in my vocabulary. Because what ends up happening is that's pretty one-sided, right? Like you are asking for things, they're doing it, done. That's what you're supposed to do as a dog. Whereas now I understand body language. So if I have my dog on a leash, this is another common thing, it's not a natural behavior for a dog to be stuck on a string to humans, right? And so in their mind, they have that little tiny piece of wolf that says fight or flight, fight or flight. And if you take the flight option out of it, because they're trapped on this string to us and they think we're oblivious, we're not paying attention, then they have to act like, you know, the tough guy and really just explode and bark, and people will say. Gosh, I have the nicest dog, but she's a demon on leash. And it's because she's not confident that her owner is paying attention and she's stressed out, but she feels she's got the weight of the world on her shoulders and she has to protect both of them from whatever's going on. So when I look at my dog, I'm constantly studying his facial features. The great part is dogs have eyebrows, which is fun to watch because you can literally see when they're worried or when they're super concentrated on stuff.
SPEAKER_00From the eye, from observing the eyebrows.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You know, when they say, oh, he looked, he was serious. You can really see that in dogs. Um, you know, with the whole tail thing, that's a little tricky when you have a corgi that doesn't have a tail or a pug that's got a curly cue, that kind of thing. For me, when I take my dog out, it's a conversation. So if we're walking, he's on leash, we see another dog coming towards us, he's not a hundred percent sure, I see his ears flip back on his head, I start to see the whites of his eyes. They call that a whale eye. I can tell he's stressed. I can also see is his hair standing up or his hackles up. If I see that, I know he's really concerned. And so what I can do is rather than continue to force him to go head on with another dog, we're gonna cross the street. And you can instantly see him relax, like, oh, thank God she was paying attention. All right, we're good, you know? And so my life with my current dog is just full of conversation like that, where I can tell what he likes, what he doesn't like. Um, and it's really not super difficult to become better versed in canine body language.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I love to have people watch some YouTube videos and then go hang out outside the dog park. I personally cannot go to the dog park because I feel like the newscaster for the NFL, where it's like, oh, the golden retriever is coming in, huh? Oh, the shepherd is mad and watch out. Oh, the lab in for a surprise. Like, I I get so strong. You see it all. Yes. Yeah, yeah. But it's it's exciting to see into their world because they are so much more complex than originally thought. So yeah.
SPEAKER_03Do you think Gremlin helped shape you into the trainer you are today?
SPEAKER_02Absolutely, yeah. Because it used to be, I thought like a trained dog just sat, laid down, shook hands, and that was it. And with her, I was able to do something called rally obedience, which is basically like agility without the equipment. So you can do it anywhere. You can do it in your yard, they have competitions, all sorts of stuff. And I also learned that dogs see the world through their nose. So while we have about five million scent receptors, dogs have 150 to 200 million.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_02To the point that now researchers think that dogs dream in scent rather than sight because it's their strongest.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It's fascinating.
SPEAKER_00It's fascinating to think to think about. Like I have to wrap my brain around that.
SPEAKER_02Right. The great part with that is because I learned that I'm able to help dogs that may be aggressive, like fear aggressive, you know, where it's just instantly, I'm afraid of something, I'm just gonna bite. Instead, to have the owners do nose work with them, where you hide a hot dog somewhere and you bring them back into the room and you say, find it, and they find it and you lose your mind. What a good dog! And the next thing you know, you're no longer afraid, you're confident, you know you're good at it. And so that's what we can do with scent work for dogs.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, interesting. That makes a lot of sense, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And um the type of training that I do, it's in a nutshell, ignore the bad, reward the good, and behavior that's rewarded will repeat itself.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So sometimes I'll have folks come into class and go, you know, well, he's jumping and I've kneaded him in the chest, I've told him down, no, off, this, that. And the one thing I always say, even if I meet someone for five minutes, I'll say the three things dogs want from us when they want to interact are eye contact, talk, and touch. Those are the last three things they want if they don't want to interact with us. So if you have a nervous dog that's really kind of scared of new people, if you're going, but I love dogs, you know, and I see it a lot, that's when you're forcing the dog into this uncomfortable situation for the dogs that are jumping on us, anytime we look at them, anytime we talk, even if we're glaring at them and yelling at them and pushing them down, they just got the trifecta. And dogs are a lot like toddlers where any attention is better than none. And so by not reacting, by closing myself behind a door, you know, access to us is a dog's biggest, most grandest prize. That's the one thing they want in this world. They were made to be that way. So if they jump on us, we don't like it, and we don't say anything, we don't have to yell, but you close yourself behind a door for five seconds. You come back out, they jump again behind the door. Usually by the third time, they totally get it. And they're like, oh, all right, I can't see them if I act like that. They make that connection that quickly.
SPEAKER_03What do you think Gremlin taught you that no textbook could have? Patience.
SPEAKER_02Patience, forgiveness, empathy. Because I can remember with the whole potty training thing that I read this short little booklet and it was like potty train your dog in one day, you know, and I thought, all right, we're gonna do this. And it just didn't happen that way. It just didn't, you know, and part of it was my fault. I would miss cues, and part of it was just her being silly and play, play, play, play, play. Oh, wait, poop, play, play, play, play, you know, and so understanding the whole real life version of things too, because what it ended up helping me do was help give, you know, clients of the vet clinic or the dog training classes or things realistic expectations. Because when you're in the thick of it, when you're in the trenches and you are so sick of, you know, puppy pee pads and why can't she make this connection? Why does she hide in the dining room and poop under the table? It really helps to have somebody that's there with you going, oh, this is totally normal. Here's what you want to do instead.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02That gentle guidance.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So how long did you have Gremlin with you?
SPEAKER_02I had Gremlin for just over six years. And then, like I said, we were training for marathon. We would do all sorts of fun stuff, climb mountains, whatever. And then one night she was eating, and I noticed she was moving her head strange. And then I realized she was having a seizure. So I ended up taking her to the practice I worked at, and they said, no, no, you need to take her to the emergency vet. This is bigger than we can handle. So I raced her up there, and they immediately put her into like a sedated coma type scenario because with seizures, it literally heats up your brain, and you can have major damage, like brain damage, if you don't monitor and control seizures. So they kind of knocked her out. And then after a whole battery of tests, they asked if I wanted to do an MRI. And here I am, like, you know, working as a vet technician, not making millions of dollars, not exactly driving a Ferrari. And the MRI was like $4,000.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_02And honestly, the the doctor that I got was wonderful because he said, in dogs, if they have seizures before the age of three, it usually means they're epileptic. If they have seizures after the age of three, nine times out of ten, it's a brain tumor. And so I thought, you know, I wouldn't be able to afford neurosurgery for my dog, nor would I really want to, because she was such a happy-go-lucky free spirit, you know. And so I went back to pick her up the next day and they rolled her out on a gurney and they said, Oh, she's not gonna know that you're here. And, you know, I just automatically was Grammy, Gram cracker, what's going on, cracker bean? And her tail started wagging. Oh, all right. So I took her home and we laid on the couch together. And then when I woke up in the morning, she had passed and I was devastated. I was going through a lot at that moment in my life, and it just was so hard to lose her. And I stopped running, I stopped wanting to do anything. I didn't really want to hang out with friends or do anything but just work, go home, and sleep. And so I painted a portrait of her and I kept looking at it and looking at it, and I thought, you know, I think I want to start running again, but I need her to be with me. And so I ended up taking a picture of the portrait. I never thought I'd be the type of girl to have a tattoo. And I brought it to my friend, and he said, Yeah, we could totally do that. And I said, I want it to be negative so that she is part of me. And so three and a half hours later, after, you know, never having a tattoo before in my life, I survived it and I love it. And this that's her. Oh my god. Yep. So I've had that since 2006, and I love it. That is beautiful. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a little blurry now, but oh wow. She was just beautiful. She was, she was very cute. Yep. And she helped me again understand the difference between environment, genetics, all that stuff. And so as a result, I'm able to work with shelters, I'm able to work with dogs that were former fighting dogs and just truly understand them. A lot of times, if there is aggression, it's fear-based.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So you go to pet a dog on the top of its head and it thinks it's gonna get hit, they're gonna snap at you. You know, whereas if I just stand there, I don't make eye contact, I don't talk to them, I don't touch them, and they have the opportunity to choose to come to me, gives them autonomy, and then they like me better. You know, so there's all sorts of little things that you can do. Um, and I really do have Gremlin and Gretchen and Bernie to thank for that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. I can't get over how beautiful the tattoo is, and it's like it's just so alive. I mean, literally, I'm like, oh my god, your spirits are emerged. Yes. 100%.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Because my friend thought I just wanted a picture of her. And I said, no, no, I want her to like the white part of her will be my skin. And so, yeah, I'm really happy how it came out. But it means so much to me. And it's it's that touchstone that no matter what, the magic of dogs, the magic of kindness, you know, that it really is a better way to live your life.
SPEAKER_03This is my first year with my dog, an original Sophia Media production, created by Sophia. This episode was produced by senior producer Samira Tizari with creative direction by Shireen Anderson and co-hosted by Sophia and Samira. Thanks for listening. Check out our website at Sophia Media.co/myfirstyear for more episodes and other shows in the My First Year series, and for social links where you can join our online community.